13. Celebrating Fatherhood: A Tribute to My Husband

Welcome back to *Stethoscopes and Strollers*! In this special Father's Day episode, I honor my husband and the father of my children. Here’s a look at what we cover:

Episode Highlights:

- Manifestation Realized: Reflecting on how I manifested my husband, a first-generation Trinidadian, and how he surpassed all my expectations.

- Parenting Together: How my husband inspired me to want boys and how we balance each other out in raising our beautiful family.

- Overcoming Challenges: Discussing our journey through postpartum burnout and how his support helped me recover.

- Personal Growth: The importance of mutual growth and commitment in our relationship, making us better partners and parents.

- Special Moments: Sharing a recent ER visit with our daughter that highlighted our improved teamwork and communication.

Key Messages:

- Love and Respect: Despite the challenges, the love and respect for my husband remain strong and essential.

- Supportive Partners: Celebrating fathers who break gender norms, are present with their kids, and take on parenting responsibilities.

- Open Communication: Encouraging honest conversations with partners about their true desires and needs.

Encouragement for Listeners:

- Honoring Dads: Acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of the fathers in your life.

- Stronger Together: Emphasize the importance of a strong marriage foundation for a stable family life.

Call to Action:

- Share with Your Husband: Let your husband listen to this episode as a way to appreciate and celebrate his role.

- Support the Podcast: Share this episode with other physician moms and leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or your preferred platform.

Thank you for joining this heartfelt Father's Day episode of *Stethoscopes and Strollers*. See you next time for more insightful discussions about motherhood and medicine!

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Transcript

Hey doc. It is Father's Day and I wanted to do a special Father's Day episode all in honor of my husband and the father of my children.

It's so funny because  I realized like a few weeks ago when I was thinking about manifestation and what that really means, that my husband is something that I manifested because I used to say with the most certainty that I wanted a man who was over six three, who was muscular build, but not like too muscly, who was from Trinidad, but did not want to go back there to live.

So I wanted a first generation Trinidadian. Because I knew I wanted to make my life here, but my culture and you know, just not having to explain myself Was all very important to me and then boom ten years later. There he was  So I thought that was very funny, but that was like,  you know, general thing that I wanted It's only when I met him that I realized he had so many other qualities that I definitely wanted, so much so that He made me want to have boys, boy children, because, like, growing up, whenever I thought about having children, I always wanted to have girls. I used to watch Gilmore Girls, and the relationship between Lorelai and Rory was so beautiful.

I was like, yes, this is what I want. This is gonna be me and my daughter. Not the whole getting pregnant at 16 thing, but their relationship.  And I am one of three girls, so I always wanted daughters, but when I met my husband I was like, oh, you're amazing. I want to have boys so they will grow up to be just like you. So we met, fell in love, had a very whirlwind beginning, and I could not imagine my life without him. He has a strong personality just like me.  But, we still have enough differences to balance each other out, especially when it comes to my wild imagination and fantastical thinking. He is like the reins on me, but without being like a fire extinguisher, so  I can have all of my wild dreams and, you know, believe anything is possible, and he's like the reality check. But not like a Debbie Downer. No, you can't do this. No, this is terrible. He is one of my biggest fans and supporters and I will be ever grateful for him. So, if you listen to the first two episodes of this podcast, you will know that it obviously has not been all sunshines and rainbows. 

But we have come so far from that and the reason that we were even able to make it through that and come far from that is because of our commitment to each other and our devotion to personal growth. And I feel so fortunate that as I go along this personal growth journey and I go deeper into coaching, that I have a partner who is supportive of it and also right there along with me, growing with me.  We want to be better people for ourselves, but also for each other because we both know that the marriage has to be stable, the love has to be strong in order for the children to be okay and the family to be stable. He was part of the reason that I got into my postpartum burnout. He was a huge part of the reason that I got out of it. Him insisting on coming with me to Mexico while we were there, doing the hard work of finding the questions for us to work through ourselves when the therapy was a bust. You know, just even being open to Doing the therapy and doing that hard work when we couldn't find a mediator, that was all him.

And then continuing to support me when I came back and I know I needed to prioritize myself and continuing to do so since. Anytime I have to coach, anytime I have to be coached, anytime I have a podcast, he supports me, he makes sure that  if the au pair isn't working, he has the kids.  All the travel that I do for locums and for my businesses, he's here holding it down. Like a true parent, a great father. And I really could not be doing any of this, including this podcast, without him.  This is not to say we do not have arguments, trust, and believe we still have arguments. But the way that they are able to be resolved is such a stark difference than before. When I knew that we had pretty much done a 180 from this postpartum experience was very recently. My daughter had to go to the ER. She was wheezing and her lungs sounded terrible and we realized right before bedtime.

 So I listened, it was really bad and I was like, okay, yeah, we have to take her to the ER. And he just hopped to it and before  I would have had to be like, okay, do this, do this, do this while getting myself ready while getting my daughter ready. But I actually even like went into that mode, you know, I was in doctor mode, fix it mode.

I handed the baby off to the au pair so I could go upstairs and change and I went outside to tell him, take out the stroller, do this. And he. He was already doing it. I was like, oh, okay, you, you got it. He anticipated everything that I needed and just did it. And I was just like, wow, this is not how it was before. And I made sure when I came home from the ER to acknowledge that and to thank him for it because I know that's important too. Not just for him to do better, but for me to acknowledge the better and to show appreciation for it. So I feel very lucky, to have manifested this man. And I wanted to dedicate this episode to him and wish him a very happy Father's Day.  And when I asked him what he wanted, it was actually very similar to  what I said I wanted for Mother's Day, and what many mothers want for Mother's Day, it was to be left alone.

But when he said that, I was like, really? Is that really what you want? If everything was taken care of and you could have anything you wanted, is that really what you want? And he's like, Yeah, no, what I really want is a blowjob. I was like, yes, there it is. That sounds more like you   I also want to say happy Father's Day to your husband and You can let him listen to the podcast because this is not a husband-hating space. Even though I may speak about husbands, mine included, frankly, sometimes it may not be easy to hear, this is not about husband hating.

Like you've just heard, I love mine, and I believe that a strong marriage and a strong foundation is essential for the children.  Also on the list of priorities, it's me, marriage, kids.  So welcome him to this space, because I also think it is important for not only husbands, but other family members and friends and anybody who's around somebody who's pregnant or has a small child to hear these things, to hear what we are going through so that they can know how to better support us.  So, to your husband, happy Father's Day, I hope you have a wonderful day, and I hope you get whatever it is you truly want on this Father's Day.

So I will see you and your husband on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.