17. Spontaneous Dates and Intentional Choices: Keeping the Spark Alive

Hey doc! 🌟 Today, I’ve got a delightful and spontaneous date story to share with you. My husband and I had a fun, unexpected outing that reminded me of the importance of making intentional choices to maintain intimacy and connection, especially during the hectic years of raising young kids.

Episode Highlights:

1. Surprise Date Day: 

   - Bad Boys Ride or Die released today! My husband planned to see it solo, but I couldn't let that happen. I invited myself along and found an 11 AM showtime that fit our schedules perfectly. 

2. Adult Conversations Ahead:

   - Just a heads-up, we’re diving into some adult themes today. Make sure the kiddos are out of earshot.

3. A Quickie Before the Movie:

   - Feeling close and a little frisky, I suggested a quickie before we left for the theater. Despite being exhausted I felt good and wanted to seize the moment for intimacy.

4. Intentional Choices:

   - Reflecting on the morning, I realized that previous me wouldn’t have made these choices. It took several intentional decisions to make the day enjoyable and intimate. 

5. Maintaining the Spark:

   - Little moments of closeness are hard to come by with young kids. We’ve found that prioritizing these moments keeps us from becoming mere roommates. It’s crucial to make these choices to foster connection and intimacy.

6. Choosing Happiness:

   - It's easy to focus on the negative, but today, I chose happiness and togetherness. Not every situation is worth shrugging off, but finding moments where you can choose joy over irritation can greatly enhance your relationship.

7. Encouragement for You:

   - Look for opportunities to make intentional choices that foster closeness and happiness. Small decisions can significantly impact your relationship's health, benefiting not only you and your partner but also your kids.

Thank you for tuning in! Join me next time on Stethoscopes and Strollers for more tips on balancing motherhood and maintaining a thriving relationship.

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Transcript

My husband and I had a spontaneous date, I guess day, today and I wanted to share with you. So, Bad Boys Ride or Die came out today, and we love the Bad Boys series and This morning he was like, yeah, I'm gonna see Bad Boys today. I was like what you weren't gonna tell me? So I basically invited myself and found a good time for us to go because I had to be back home for one of my coaching clients.

And we like going to the movies early. Actually, we're like old people. We like an empty theater. So we booked the 11 o'clock show oh, I should have said this at the beginning.  I know it's in my intro, but I'll say it again. Make sure nobody's around. We're about to have adult conversations here, right?

So, when we were getting ready to go, , you know, I was feeling a little close to him, a little freaky. So I was like, okay, you want to get one in real quick before we go? He's like, yes, because he had woken me up earlier this morning asking, if I was ready. And I was like, no, I'm exhausted.

Because my daughter woke up at 2 a. m. which she never does and I exercised yesterday and did all these things. So I was exhausted and he felt really bad for waking me up because he thought that I was up.  But you know, I was feeling good. I was like, okay let's do this. So we got a little quickie in. And then we got ready and went to the movie and it was great and it was just a spontaneous Date that just came up and I was just thinking about previously  how This would not have happened. Like I had to make several intentional choices for the morning to go how it did and I just know that I was not in a place before to make those choices, and it would be really easy to be like, yeah, no.

So, I want to go through all of those times, just to see if it will help you recognize times where maybe you can say yes instead of no, maybe you can do this instead of that, just to, you know, maintain the spark, to restart the spark, and, Just keep the closeness during this time. It is so difficult to find moments of closeness and intimacy when the kids are young.

And we have found that we really need to make it a priority, or else everything just crumbles, like we end up just being roommates. Who happen to have children and that's not our goal in this marriage. So, the biggest thing that could have derailed this entire thing was when I found out that he was going to see the movie without me, I could have gotten really upset about that and been like in a huff and basically just not spoken to him for the rest of the day.

So he had told me he was going to see the movie before. I didn't express that I wanted to go as well, but he knows how much I love Bad Boys. We literally just watched the third one like  a week or two ago.  So I could just see it being like, well, You should have known that I wanted to go, but I actually didn't tell him. 

And. I really had to make the decision to, okay, you were going to go without me, whatever. That's messed up. I'm inviting myself and we're going to go together. So that was the first decision that I made to make the day a fun date for us to have this moment for intimacy. And then when I was getting ready and I had the Smallest inkling that I was available for sexy time I could have said, well, no, we're gonna be late for the movie, which we were Well, we were late for the credits,  but we were cutting it very close and I was like, meh, this is more important. So we had our Quickie and it would have been so easy to be like, yeah, no, we don't, we don't have time for this or even to hold on to the fact that he woke me up when I was super tired earlier and, just be irritated about that.

But I know he didn't mean anything by it. He really thought that I was awake because I usually am awake at that time.  So  it was not just this spontaneous thing. Like I originally thought. There were intentional choices that I made to make this date happen and to have it go off without bickering and resentment and all of those things.

. I think it is very common for us to just focus on all of the things that we have to do. To focus on all of the negative things. He didn't think about inviting me. He woke me up when I was sleeping. . So I could be Righteous about those things. I could be irritated and hurt or I could be happy.  And this morning I chose happiness I don't always choose that.

Certain things hit differently depending on what the case is and what's behind it But I hope this is helpful to you because yes there are some things that your husband may do that there's no looking the other way or You Shrugging it off or anything like that, but I want you to just consider, are there times when I can let things go, not read into things, take it at face value, all in service of growing our connection, becoming closer, being more intimate, and overall just having a better marriage and relationship? Because at the end of the day, That services you as well as your children, you and your husband having a strong, healthy, and happy marriage. So I want to encourage you to look for those moments when you have a choice. Whether you're going to go about your regular day or make. intentional choices to have a random Friday morning date  with your husband. .  So   I hope this was helpful. Don't forget to leave a five star review on Apple podcasts, a five star rating on any other podcast platform.

Please share this with any other physician mom who would benefit from hearing it, and I will see you on the next episode of stethoscopes  and strollers