19. Finding Rest: My Journey to Better Sleep

Welcome back to *Stethoscopes and Strollers*! In this episode, I'm opening up about my personal battle with sleep issues and the journey I took to find restful sleep again. As a physician and a mom, I've faced the ups and downs of sleep deprivation, and I want to share my story to help you navigate your own sleep challenges.

Episode Highlights:

- Stress and Sleep: How high-stress periods affected my sleep patterns, and the shift that happened after having my daughter.

- Unrestful Sleep: The constant chatter in my mind, the to-do lists, replaying arguments, and the anger that kept me awake.

- Trial and Error: My attempts to improve sleep with various medications like doxylamine, melatonin, and Benadryl, and the realization that these were only temporary fixes.

- Postpartum Anxiety: Exploring the possibility that my sleep issues were linked to postpartum anxiety and my decision to try Lexapro.

- Professional Help: The pivotal moment when my therapist advised me to seek proper evaluation for my sleep issues.

- Discovering Trazodone: My experience with Trazodone, which worked for a while but eventually stopped being effective.

- Natural Remedies: Trying meditation, bedtime yoga, and even gummies suggested by my husband, and why these also fell short.

- The Breakthrough: Finally seeking help from a sleep coach, Dr. Funke Afolabi Brown, and how her guidance in six sessions provided a lasting framework for better sleep.

Key Messages:

- Seek Help: Don't waste time trying to fix sleep issues on your own. Professional help can make a significant difference.

- It's Not Normal: If you're getting less than six hours of sleep regularly, it's time to talk to someone.

- Empower Yourself: Whether it's immediately postpartum or years later, there are solutions and people who can help you improve your sleep.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's change the narrative around sleep in this season of life. See you on the next episode of *Stethoscopes and Strollers*!

Register here for ✨Finding the Right Fit: Au Pair Essentials for Physician Moms✨ on August 15th at 3 PM ET/12 PM PT. Find, and keep, the right Au Pair for you and your family!

Remember to subscribe to "Stethoscopes and Strollers" on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode of encouragement and empowerment.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me.

Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you feel you need direct support or someone to talk through the unique challenges of being a physician mom, schedule a free coaching session.

Free Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Transcript

 So  whenever there was a high stress time, Like I was about to do an exam or something. I would, you know, have poor sleep. My sleep would suffer. But it would always, go back to normal once everything was fine.

When I had my daughter, the sleep that I was getting was just not restful. And there was a constant chatter that would just keep me awake of all sorts of different things. In the thick of it, it was To do list, it was anger, it was, replaying arguments, it was all of those things. But even after we came back from Mexico, I was doing better focusing on myself. My sleep was still pretty bad. I would be getting anywhere from four to six hours of sleep when I really functioned best Between six to seven and if you hear that and you're like, oh, well, I only get four hours of sleep. Normally, that's not normal girl   to talk to somebody about that,  but it was really affecting me. I was Exhausted all the time. 

So I started trying different ways to improve my sleep.  I Tried doxylamine because that used to work before and it stopped working So I used to be able to just take a half a pill and then I had to end up taking a whole one. That stopped working. I tried melatonin. That never actually worked. I tried Benadryl. That didn't work  and then we get into the time where I was like, okay, this may be a manifestation of postpartum anxiety. So maybe I just need to get on an antidepressant. Maybe I just need to get on some Lexapro and  course, I did not consult anybody else about this. I just asked my OB, let me take that back.  I tried to consult about this. I tried to see psych, and I was told I probably wouldn't get in for weeks and weeks and weeks.

I was like, this is unacceptable. So I just asked my OB to prescribe it, and it was in her purview. She was comfortable prescribing it. So I started. I'm taking it. I'm the one who told her I want a Lexapro because of the research that I had done. , I tried it for a little while, did not feel great at all, ended up stopping it and it actually didn't help my sleep. 

When I started seeing my therapist, she was like, stop doing that shit and you need to see somebody to get properly evaluated for your sleep. So I was like, okay, fine. I went and saw primary care. He recommended Trazodone, which I had never thought about, and I took it for, A while it worked and then it stopped working. 

So that's where the frustration came in. Everything that I tried  worked for a little bit and then stopped. So I really started to think something was wrong with me. And that was really demoralizing. To truly believe that this problem will never be fixed,

it almost broke me. So I was like, okay, I need to fix this. Let me forget the medications. Let's try the more quote unquote, natural things.  I had had a meditation coach previously, had special recorded meditations that I use for sleep and just general meditation.  Tried that, worked for a little bit, then it stopped. I started doing bedtime yoga that helped a little bit, but not really.  I even tried, at the behest of my husband, to do a gummy before bedtime. Especially because, you know, to help calm my mind and all of those things.  And that shit was gross. I don't know. I don't know how people I'm just I've never smoked marijuana in my life.

And I never will. The smell It's so disgusting and the gummy tasted like that smell and I didn't feel relaxed. I felt nauseous one time and then when I tried again, I remember just feeling, I don't know, like paranoid and dizzy and it was not beneficial at all. But the point is I was trying every single thing except going to an expert.

So when it came to a point where I was like, I need to get this under control. I cannot keep going on like this.  Then I sought out a sleep coach,  shout out to Dr. Funke Afolabi Brown, pediatric sleep expert, sleep coach for women and their children.  Because she saved me. I have known Dr. Funke for years.

So I had heard her talk about sleep and the importance of sleep and all of these things for a really long time,  but ever the physician I was like, I got this. I can just deal with it myself. I Had things that worked before so let me just try it. Uh, that didn't work. Let me just try this all the while  I had direct access to this person that could help me and it took all of those months and all of that frustration to finally get to her.

And in six sessions we were done and I had the framework for better sleep and I was sleeping seven hours and she gave me the tools that I needed. So that if I backslid, which she told me would happen, and it certainly has, I knew what I had to do to move forward and improve my sleep. So while I think she's amazing, and this is not an ad for her services, even though you should check her out, therestfulsleepplace. 

com,  the point is, I sought help  because I couldn't do it on my own even though I tried  and I wasted a lot of time trying to do it on my own.

So I'm trying to save you some time  and get you some sleep. Whatever your issue is with sleep, even if it is immediately postpartum or four years postpartum, there is somebody that can help you. It could be your family members, it could be your husband, and and  It could be a sleep coach. It could be taking Cara of babies lady, even though apparently she's a Trump supporter. 

Whatever her program works,  there are things and people that can help you that are outside of you. And you do not have to continue to suffer through sleep deprivation just because.  Like there's no just because,  you owe it to yourself to figure out whatever it is that you need to get your sleep, whether it's your personal sleep issue or your child's.

Your physical and mental health depend on it.

 So if you are struggling with sleep issues, please reach out to someone. Reach out to me to get recommendations. If you know another physician mom who is suffering through these years of sleep deprivation, share this episode with her. Let's change this narrative about Our sleep in this season of life.

It doesn't have to be this way.  Don't forget to follow the show, subscribe on whatever platform you listen on. Leave us a five star review. It helps get Stethoscopes and Strollers out to even more physician moms. And I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.