21. Dream Big, Doc: Discovering What You Truly Want

Hey doc, let's talk about what YOU want. Yeah, you! When was the last time you actually thought about what you want in life? 

In this episode, I'm challenging you to reconnect with your deepest desires and dreams. I know, I know - you're thinking, "Dr. Toya, I barely have time to pee, let alone dream!" But hear me out.

We dive into:

• Why knowing what you want is crucial (even if it seems impossible right now)

• How feeling directionless can leave you stuck and unfulfilled

• The power of having a "dream life" vision (trust me, it's game-changing)

• Getting past that "I don't have time" excuse (because we both know that's what it is)

• The unexpected joy that comes from letting yourself dream BIG

I share a story about a client who listened to my "Your Dream Life or Mine" episode (go check it out if you haven't!). Just thinking about her dream life - even though it felt impossible - made her happier than she'd been all week. You deserve that feeling too!

So here's your challenge: Take baby steps to create some thinking time. Maybe it's a 10-minute solo walk, locking yourself in the bathroom (we've all been there), or even folding laundry in peace. Find what works for you.

I want you to dream EXPANSIVELY. Don't worry about the "how" right now. Ask yourself:

• What do I want my life to look like in 5 or 10 years?

• Am I happy with my current practice?

• Have I ever thought about leadership roles? Or maybe leaving medicine altogether?

• What childhood passions have I put on the back burner?

Remember, this is just step one. We'll dive deeper into making these dreams a reality in future episodes. For now, give yourself permission to think and feel the excitement of possibility.

When you're done dreaming, share this episode with another physician mom who needs this reminder. Subscribe to Stethoscopes and Strollers for weekly doses of real talk and inspiration as we navigate this wild ride of medicine and motherhood together.

Let's rec

Register here for ✨Finding the Right Fit: Au Pair Essentials for Physician Moms✨ on August 15th at 3 PM ET/12 PM PT. Find, and keep, the right Au Pair for you and your family!

Remember to subscribe to "Stethoscopes and Strollers" on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode of encouragement and empowerment.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me.

Website | Instagram | Facebook

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you feel you need direct support or someone to talk through the unique challenges of being a physician mom, schedule a free coaching session.

Free Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Transcript

Hey doc, tell me, what do you want?  What do you want in life? What do you see yourself doing in the future, 10 years from now, five years from now? Do you know what you want next week?  Do you know what you want to do tomorrow? I think it is important for us to answer these questions for ourselves because Not knowing leaves us without direction. 

So if you don't know what you want, you don't know what you want your life to look like in the future, you may end up just floating around, going through the motions. Without working towards anything. And this isn't to say you always have to be grinding and trying to get to the next thing and never being satisfied. But I do believe you have to Have a vision. Have this dream life, as I call it, that you are working towards.  And if you already have it, congratulations. That is great. But if you do not feel that way, if you maybe feel stuck, you feel like this cannot be it. There must be more. This is not what I imagined my life would look like. Well then what did you imagine?  Like what do you want? When was the last time you thought about it? And I know what you're thinking.

Like, bitch, I don't have time to think about it. I don't even have time to think about what I want to eat tonight.   I know you do not have the time, the energy to think about this. And that is why it is one of my main goals. To get you to prioritize your alone time so that you have the mental space, time, and energy to think about these things. 

Because it is only then when you can allow yourself the time to have expansive, fantastic thoughts about what your life could be. That you will truly connect to what you want and be able to go for it. You need that direction. And you may be so bogged down in your day to day with the babies, and the husband, and the patients, and the admin, and the call, and all the things that You may not even know that this is the problem. You may just have those feelings that I talked about before. Stuck, there must be more, all of those things. But you deserve to be connected to that inner desire. To at least know what it feels like to think about it. A client of mine listened to episode 7, Your Dream Life or Mine, and we were talking about it.  And she said when she listened to me talk about my dream,  she realized how similar it was to hers. And she got so excited and I encouraged her to think about it more expansively and started giving her ideas about how it could become a reality for her.

And she said that was the happiest that she had felt all week.  Just from thinking about this dream life that she actually thought was impossible. She couldn't see how it could work, but just the thought of it made her feel so happy.  And you can have that too. You may think that it will make you feel depressed because you know you can't achieve it or it seems so far away. But we're taking baby steps here. The first thing is to connect to it and to be able to connect to it, you have to give yourself the time to think about it and to give yourself the time to think about it. You have to make some intentional choices about how you spend your time. What you are doing and what you're not doing.

Are you going to say, I'm going to take a walk by myself. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Are you going to say, I need a minute. Don't bother me. I'm going upstairs. Are you going to go to the library? Are you like one of my friends that told me she uses doing the laundry for her alone time and quiet time. I have my own issues with that, but hey, baby steps, right?

We just need that space and that time where you are not being questioned,  you are not being asked anything, nobody is hanging on to you, nobody is drinking from you, nobody is desiring sex from you. You can just be,  so that you can hear your own thoughts, not the grocery list, your actual own thoughts, and get connected, so that you can start having , those visions of that dream, and then we can figure out how to make it possible. But in this baby step, you just need to get the time to think about it. That's it.

 So I challenge you to make that time a priority. How much ever time it is, In whatever way where you can  just think  and not just think but dream expansively, wishfully, fantastically without wondering how. 

The how is not important right now. What do you want?  Do you want to practice in the way that you are currently practicing? Do you want to be in leadership?  Do you want to live where you're living?  Do you want to leave medicine?  Do you want to do locums?  Do you want to follow your long lost dream of being a dancer?

Do you want to go and volunteer in a rural community on a on a Reservation,

What is your dream?

 Take the time to dream about what you want and feel the joy and excitement  that comes with realizing what the dream looks like.    I want you, when you're done with that exercise, to share this episode with another physician mom who needs to have this experience. Let her know that we will be going into the next baby step, all in service of getting you towards that dream life. All you have to do is subscribe and listen every Wednesday for a new episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.