Chaotic Congress, The Trump Dynasty, and Tales from the WSOP | Ep. 36

A whirlwind tour through America's political future kicks off as Norman Chad unveils his "flawless projection" for the next five White House occupants. With tongue firmly in cheek, he maps out a 20-year Trump dynasty stretching from Donald to JD Vance to Don Jr. and finally to a "bearded Barron Trump." Democrats might want to check their blood pressure before listening.

Chapters

• 0:00 Trump Dynasty Predictions
• 3:34 Trump Tittle Tattle News Update
• 5:14 Elon Musk's Growing Family
• 7:39 Dallas Mavericks' Troubles
• 8:57 Creative Inaccuracies That Annoy Me
• 12:06 Mount Rushmore of Continents
• 15:38 Poker Controversy and Media Ethics
• 21:33 Civil Disagreement in America
• 24:18 Meteorologists vs. Bracketologists

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So President Trump is going to hand it off to his vice president, jd Vance, and then JD Vance will hand it off his presidency to Don Jr. Then Don Jr oh my goodness, after two terms, will step aside for, yes, a bearded, barren Trump. Norman Chad I am Norman Chad, coming up today on the program. The Dallas Mavericks are in trouble. Are they really moving to Las Vegas? The stork delivers another baby to Elon Musk. Can he really be a father again? And it's our Mount Rushmore of continents. Can Antarctica really make the cut?

Speaker 1: 0:57

Gambling Mad, as always, brought to you by Fritos Picked fresh off of Central California trees every morning, delivered directly to your local retailer every afternoon, and by the refreshing taste of Fresca. Fritos and Fresca. It's a meal. The 49.8% president gave his State of the Union warm-up speech this week, gave his State of the Union warm-up speech this week, and the Democrats responded by sitting on their hands and sticking out their tongues, occasionally flashing protest signs and getting ejected from the Congressional Gallery by waving a cane. America right now looks like a daycare center, overrun by a motorcycle gang, with Charles Schumer shouting something from across the street with his eyeglasses halfway down his nose.

Speaker 1: 1:45

Some of my Democratic friends, literally, are counting the days until Donald Trump is out of office. Hey, good luck with that. Yep, you're not going to like this. Democrats One, as he has joked half seriously, he might not leave office. And two, even if the Constitution forces him out of the White House, president Trump has a lot of would-be Trumps and actual Trumps who will follow in his footsteps.

Speaker 1: 2:12

I have the best people. I'm going to ask Democrats now, any Democrats with heart ailments or high blood pressure or any other medical conditions easily exacerbated by bad news just step away for a moment. Conditions easily exacerbated by bad news just step away for a moment. We're going to have a bunch more 49.8% presidents popping up and Democrats are not going to like the look of things. Folks, here is my flawless projection for the next five White House occupants. Okay, so President Trump is going to hand it off to his vice president, jd Vance, and then JD Vance will hand it off his presidency to Don Jr. You're fired. Then Don Jr oh my goodness, after two terms will step aside for, yes, a bearded Barron Trump.

Speaker 1: 3:02

Boy we're going to have 16 straight years of presidents here with a beard and it doesn't look good. But hey, I'm not going to take this sitting down. By the time Barron completes his first term, I'm going to be about 90 years old and daggum it. I'm going to consider throwing my hat into the ring to put an end to this Trump dynasty. Jd, jd, don Jr, don Jr and Barron. Barron would probably grow a beard by then.

Speaker 1: 3:34

Time for Trump Tittle Tattle. All the latest news about our con man in chief. Cue the music Do-do-do-do, Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do you. You know, maybe doge cuts have hit us because it doesn't seem to be the same music we once had, but we will. Power on.

Speaker 1: 3:55

President trump signed an executive order making english the official language of the united states. The president indicated that Ivanka, don Jr, eric, barron and Melania will be homeschooled in English. You're fired. The Trump administration fired hundreds of federal employees at weather and climate agencies just days before a potential severe storm in the southeastern United States and just months ahead of the next Atlantic hurricane season. The president reiterated his belief that if people want to know the weather that badly, they can just step outside. President Trump said a $5 million gold card will go on sale very soon to serve as a new path towards US citizenship. It will replace the old school way of becoming a citizen, which was to marry Donald Trump. President Trump opened his first cabinet meeting with prayer, then asked if he could sign and sell the prayer book and finally, in non-government news, pope Francis reportedly is considering resigning due to health concerns. Meanwhile, president Trump is maneuvering privately to see if he can unilaterally declare himself president and pope. That is Trump Tittle Tattle for this week.

Speaker 1: 5:14

Just last month, we updated you on Elon Musk's growing brood. Like Secretariat, elon was put out to stud several years back, and boy has he produced two more babies two more in 2024 alone. So who would have thought that we'd be back this soon to announce another Elon bundle of joy, or sprog as the Brits like to say? This is number 14 for Elon. I want to run down the latest list of Elon offspring again, but I want to clarify a couple of things. First One in most of these cases, elon is going the in vitro fertilization route, so he is just providing sperm, his sperm, rather than having to ask Alexa for some Barry White music and then doing the dirty between the sheets. We got it together, didn't we? And two inflating Elon's numbers is the fact that he has had twins twice and triplets once.

Speaker 1: 6:13

All right, let's run down the procreations of Elon once again. Start with Nevada. Then he had twins, vivian and Griffin. Then he had triplets, kai Saxton or Saxon and Damien. Then came X, the fan fave, the name, came Exa, who actually is called Y at home, I'm not making that up. Another set of twins, strider and Azor. Move on to Techno. And then, since 2024, arcadia, rsc and the latest arrival, seldon. Could have been Sheldon, but you know, doge, maybe we're down to a 25-letter alphabet. Elon did not impregnate his first concubine until he was 30. He now has fathered 14 children in 23 years. This puts him on pace to equal the population of Gilbert, arkansas, by 2050. I might not want the apartheid survivor to have my social security number, but Elon's my go-to guy for a one-man population explosion.

Speaker 1: 7:33

Turning to sports, it's been a rough four weeks for the NBA's Dallas Mavericks. They traded away their best player, luka Doncic. The player they got in return, anthony Davis, got injured in his first game and hasn't played since their other superstar, kyrie Irving, tore his ACL and will miss the rest of the season. The team has lost five of their last seven games and in the midst of all that, the Mavericks announced that ticket prices will increase next season by an average of 8.6%. Folks, I don't have a Henry Ford, steve Jobs type of business mind, but I do know that if you lose your main attraction and raise ticket prices in the same breath, this would be like McDonald's announcing that all of its beef selections will now use 80% hamburger helper while doubling the cost of a Big Mac. There's a theory the new Mavs ownership is purposely trying to wreck its fan base a la the fictional Cleveland Indians in the 1989 movie Major League. But they could move to Las Vegas tomorrow if they wish to. Without doing that, professional sports owners are hardly ever stopped from relocating. Mother bears protect their cubs, billionaires protect billionaires.

Speaker 1: 8:56

I respect the creative process. Being a creator myself, I understand that, say, musicians and filmmakers use artistic license, but there are several abuses of common sense that really upset me. Here are three examples. There's the 2021 song by British pop star Ed Sheeran called Bad Habits. The lyrics include these words conversations with a stranger. I barely know what the heck the person is a stranger. You're not going to know them in the first place, so of course, it's someone you barely know, it's a stranger. You don't know them at all.

Speaker 1: 9:42

Next, the beloved 1994 film Shawshank Redemption. Red's narration at the end says Andy crawled to freedom through 500 yards of shit-smelling foulness. I can't even imagine 500 yards. That's the length of five football fields, just shy of a half mile. Okay, yes, it's the length of five football fields, but 500 yards is not just shy of a half mile, it's barely more than a quarter mile. A quarter mile, 440 yards. A half mile, 880 yards. Andy Kralt, 500 yards. You tell me it's a big Hollywood production. They didn't have a script editor. You're fired.

Speaker 1: 10:28

And finally, let's look at Sade's 1984 hit song Smooth Operator, which includes the following lyrics Coast to coast, la to Chicago, western male. Okay, forget about the Western man business. I don't even know what the hell she's talking about right there. It's the coast to coast thing. Let's go to the national map on this one, folks. Here is Los Angeles on the Pacific Coast. Here is Chicago. Coast to coast, la to Chicago. How is Chicago on the coast? It's got to be 700, maybe 800 miles to get to Atlantic City. Chicago is in the Midwest. What is she thinking? Chicago is in the Midwest. What is she thinking Okie dokie While we're here.

Speaker 1: 11:15

We thought that we were going to mark all the locations in which Elon conceived his babies with the black dots All his 14 babies. Now you might notice there's a western tilt, but still coast-to-coast LA to Chicago. He had a lot of them. There were the triplets up in the Pacific Northwest. Ooh, that cool Pacific Northwest air is a romantic type of air and, speaking of the West, it's as if hell has frozen over, only going to be a high of 58 degrees in Phoenix this Sunday. Get your ass over there and enjoy the cool winter afternoon. Traffic and weather are the fives all weekend. Back to the desk Time for our latest Mount Rushmore, the Mount Rushmore of continents.

Speaker 1: 12:06

This is different than our other Mount Rushmores, which have endless choices. There are only seven continents and, of course, just four openings. On Mount Rushmore. It's sort of like the NBA or NHL playoffs where just about half the league makes the postseason. We're just eliminating three continents to get to our Mount Rushmore and I'm going to eliminate two right off the bat.

Speaker 1: 12:29

Australia I love Australia, but it isn't a continent, it's a nation, it's an island. It makes no sense to me how come Australia is the world's smallest continent and Greenland is the world's largest island. They're both islands. Next case Antarctica. Here we go again. Okay, folks, where are all the nations on this continent? Forget that. Where are all the people? Antarctica is simply a massive piece of ice, with a couple of thousand tourists sliding around taking photographs of penguins. My goodness, antarctica literally does not have a single Starbucks. It's a pretend continent. Australia and Antarctica, you're both out of here. You're fired. All right.

Speaker 1: 13:22

Now it gets interesting. Let's go to our Mount Rushmore of continents. Five remain. Four slots are open Africa, it's the cradle of civilization. It's got the Nile, which is on our Mount Rushmore of rivers. It's got the Sahara, on our Mount Rushmore of deserts. And it's got the Mediterranean, on our Mount Rushmore of oceans. Yes, I know, the Mediterranean Sea is part of our Mount Rushmore of oceans. Yes, I know the Mediterranean Sea is part of our Mount Rushmore of oceans because it is an ocean in disguise, with an ocean vibe. Deal with it. Next, asia 60% of the world lives in Asia. All the major religions of the world originated in Asia. Do you like orange chicken? We don't have Panda Express without.

Speaker 1: 14:18

Asia, yum, all right. Next Europe you ever hear of a man's man? Europe is a continent's continent. Ignore all the anti-Europe propaganda coming out of Magda. These days, europe looks like a continent. Europe looks like a continent. Europe smells like a continent. Europe feels like a continent. If you're casting for a continent in some big budget movie, you cast Europe, no audition needed. Okay, moment of truth. Our final spot on the Mount Rushmore of continents Will it be North America or South America? Final spot on the Mount Rushmore of continents Will it be North America or South America? You know, I went with hometown bias on this one and I picked North America. But no disrespect to South America. And my choice of North America is conditional, because I think Trump is not only going to make Canada the 51st state, he's going to make Mexico the 52nd state, and then North America would just be the USA, which would make it a one nation continent like Australia, so South America could be in play. Anyway, there you have it, folks, you're Mount Rushmore of continents Africa, asia, europe and North America.

Speaker 1: 15:28

Fuck yeah, interesting situation came up in the world of poker this past week, world Series of Poker Circuit main event in Baltimore. There were three players left and then a hand got involved with two of them, maurice Hawkins and Divyam Satyarthi. Satyarthi was all in. Hawkins ends up making a straight on the final card to eliminate Satyarthi in third place. It was, however, discovered later that everyone missed the fact the players, the dealer, the staff, anyone watching. They missed the fact that Satyarthi made a flush on the final card. Flush beats a straight. He actually won the hand, but he was eliminated. He actually won the hand, but he was eliminated. And Maurice Hawkins went on to win his 18th circuit ring, which is tied for first all time with Ari Engel.

Speaker 1: 16:20

Now this brought up a couple of other issues and just bad luck for Satyarthi Afterwards. There's nothing they can do about it. There's an injustice there, but he didn't even see it himself. They have to move on. Now the other issue is a poker reporter, and they generally are very close to the action in poker, like sometimes usually standing right behind the table.

Speaker 1: 16:43

If a poker reporter notices the mistake, should he or she speak up? Matt Savage, a sometime friend of mine, poker Hall of Fame nominee and just a respected tournament director, believes the pot should always go to the best hand table and along those lines he says poker reporters should speak up. Most of the poker media disagrees with him and what they say simply and I agree with them is they're there to report what happens, not to intervene with what happens. I absolutely agree with this. My analogy is you know, in an NBA game, if an NBA reporter you know let's say they used to be the press box, used to be right on the court side NBA reporter sees a flagrant foul that absolutely nobody else in the arena notices, is he supposed to, you know, go out into the court and point that out to the officials to review it? Or is he supposed to go over to the coach whose team was flagrantly fouled and say you got to challenge us, you got to challenge us. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, you don't. You don't do that. You're there to record what happens. We see horrible calls all the time in sports that can change who wins the game. It just comes with the territory. The mistake is acknowledged afterward, but the result does not flip-flop. The third-place finishers I mentioned at this World Series of Poker event was the victim of an injustice, but it stands and we go on to the next event.

Speaker 1: 18:11

Okay, producers, I want you to see a little something here. That's one poker segment. I'm going to give you a bonus poker segment. You can cut all this out, but I'm going to give you a bonus poker segment. We're going to talk about a little something else that's related to this, so I'm going to continue right here. Then you got two different segments or two segments you put together. Whatever you want to do, I don't get involved in that part. Should the poker media ever influence what they are watching?

Speaker 1: 18:36

I got an interesting personal story on this. Every year I'm at the World Series main event. The $10,000 buy-in lasts for close to two weeks and I often walk around the main event to meet people and get some stories and get some color. And a few years ago it was day one or day two very early in the main event and I carry like a little backpack of snacks and chocolates and treats that I give to different players when I'm playing. I give stuff to different players. It makes everybody get into a better mood.

Speaker 1: 19:06

So I reached the table and I recognized somebody I knew at the other end of the table, but they were in the middle of a hand, so I was going to wait a moment until I went to speak to the person I knew and two players were involved in the hand and one had gone all in with one card to come and another person then was trying to decide what to do. They were doing what we call tanking in poker. They were taking a long time to make the decision whether they wanted to call the all-in player who put all his chips into the middle. After a little while I just reached into my backpack and I threw out a fortune cookie to the guy. I said here, take a look at that, maybe that'll help you make your decision. Everybody laughed Well, most people laughed. A couple people looked at me like they didn't particularly care for me.

Speaker 1: 19:50

About 15 seconds after that it wasn't a me about 10 or 15 seconds after that he actually read the fortune and put it down, waited a little while longer and then he said I call. And then they tabled their hands with one card to come and it was a really, really, really bad call. This player had only four cards what we call four outs in the deck to win the hand and eliminate the all-in player. The final card came. He got one of those lucky four cards. He eliminated that other player who walked away and then the person who got lucky said. You know, he announced the table. I probably wasn't going to call until I looked at the fortune cookie.

Speaker 1: 20:31

One of the other people at the table who did not like the cut of my jib called for the floor for the floor person to come over. He was upset. The floor person came over and he explained that I had affected and influenced action by giving the guy a fortune cookie in the middle of the hand. And, to tell you the truth, he was absolutely right. You know, I'm just trying to make a joke. The floor person if I, if someone at the table had done that who wasn't in the hand and did that, they might give him a warning or a penalty for doing something that influenced the hand or influence the action. The uh, the floor person, in this case he's he's dealing with. You know, I'm like Sinatra, uh, at the world season poker. What's he going to do to me? He told me not to do that again and he was absolutely correct. I actually ended up influencing action inadvertently, accidentally, unintentionally, and I don't know who got knocked out, but that might've been the person who would win the World Series of Poker main event that year.

Speaker 1: 21:25

C'est la vie. You know, it's become next to impossible to have a civilized disagreement. Of late in America, we just yell at each other and walk away Lots of bad language and name calling, particularly on social media. Sometimes we throw bric-a-bracs or tchatskis. Never heard of bric-a-bracs or tchatskis? Google it you dingleberries. Google it you dingleberries. Anyway, sometimes I just daydream about my youth, when arguments were just so much fun and friendlier.

Speaker 1: 22:03

How can you be in favor of the death penalty? I believe in capital punishment, dude. It's inhuman. It violates the right to life. No, dude, it's just a punishment for certain crimes. Dude, you're full of shit. No, dude, you're full of shit. What are you drinking, michelob Bartender? Two Michelob's, by the way, that was a long, long time ago, when we thought Michelob was the be-all and end-all of better beer. We were young and stupid.

Speaker 1: 22:36

Before we wrap up, I'm going to say this one time and one time only Stop telling me to stick to poker, stay in your lane or to sit this one out. It kind of ends the discussion before it starts. Stick to poker. First of all, what are you sticking to, pal? Secondly, this assumes that I have only one area of interest or knowledge. And third of all, trust me on this one the people in poker, don't even want me to talk about poker. Stay in your lane. Oh, we all have a lane. Have you ever driven in Los Angeles? There are no lanes. There's personal spaces that we don't want other motorists to invade. And then there's sit this one out. If I make a point about, say, nato or the Ukrainian war, someone will pop in on X and say, sit this one out. Now, if that someone were the Secretary of State, maybe I'd give some ground, but the person telling me to sit this one out is usually some fellow whose X handle is jiggleboys79, with 17 followers. Well, I've got to tell you, jiggleboys79, I'm perfectly comfortable standing up and discussing any issue with you eye to eye. Ha, that will do it for another edition of Gambling Mad with Norm and Chad. Hope to see you again next time and remember, if you're going to roll the dice, make sure they're loaded.

Speaker 1: 24:14

You've got your meteorologists and you've got your bracketologists. There's a big difference between the two. Meteorologists are scientists who study weather patterns that enable them to accurately forecast upcoming climate conditions. That's pretty valuable. Bracketologists are a bunch of guys named Moose and Scooter who engage in the science of predicting what teams will be part of the NCAA men's basketball tournament, better known as March Madness. I gotta say this isn't as valuable of a science as meteorologists provide.

Speaker 1: 24:45

But bracketology is a growing business. A man by the name of Joe Lunardi invented it in the late 1990s and ever since we have paid a steep price. Sandy-wise, it's like voodoo economics without the tax cuts. Just a bunch of hooey about a ratings index and evaluation tools. Plus there's constant talk of a team's resume or its body of work. Body of work what? Kentucky basketball suddenly is treated like Picasso's blue period. Spare us. Meteorologists yes, bracketologists no. In fact, given a choice between a bracketologist and a proctologist, just stick that damn tube up my backside and I'll be in far less pain, because just 15 more seconds with a bracketologist and I will go gambling mad. Blue Blue, thank you. Producers are John.

Speaker 2: 25:40

Scheinberg and Rick Barrio-Dill. Produced by Norman Chad and Rick Barrio-Dill. Our associate producers are Bree Khoury and Asher Freidberg, and edited by Asher Freidberg, with studio facilities at 360 Pod Studios, Beverly Hills.