1 | Introducing Partners Beyond Parenthood

 Welcome to the Partners Beyond Parenthood podcast! 

My name is Saba Bosuener and in this episode, I share a little bit on the who what and why of this podcast.

Becoming a parent brings a whole lot of new information, change and choices you have to make. I will address a variety of topics on partnership and parenthood with an open mind so you can make informed decisions and apply what works best for you.

—
You can join the Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/partnersbeyondparenthood

I'd love to hear your thought and if you have any topics you would like me to talk about, please send an email here: hello@partnersbeyondparenthood.com
—
Podcast tile design: Jeff Ras | jeffsras@gmail.com | www.jeffrasdesign.com

Transcript

0:00

Hello, and welcome to the first episode of Partners Beyond Parenthood, the podcast that helps new parents thrive without losing themselves. My name is Saba Buzunur, your host for this podcast. Before I dive into why I came to creating this podcast and who it is for, I wanted to share a little bit about myself. I am a mother of one, so far, and have been together with my husband for almost nine years now. Before starting a family, we traveled full time for about four to five years before creating our first base in Mexico for about three years, where we still traveled a ton and are now currently based in Barcelona, Spain. I have always loved to travel. I grew up around the world from Sierra Leone, Trinidad, Ghana, Ethiopia, and Belgium. Before starting on my own travels, that took me to quite a few more. And the longest I've lived anywhere in one stretch was six years, where I went to high school. I believe that the amount of diversity I encountered growing up with my dual German Ethiopian heritage and traveling to all these different places fostered a sense of open mindedness and empathy which have become some of my core values. And with this, I also developed a hunger for information which has helped me continue to grow as a person and keep an open mind about how different people approach life. So in 2017, when my boyfriend said he was going to Bali to start this whole online work thing, I thought, what the hell is that? Sounds amazing. I'm in. See you there. So from then on, we continued to travel full time until COVID hit. And I'm sure that sounds pretty familiar. Um, but we, suddenly found ourselves stuck in Mexico City. Although stuck is not the right word, because we honestly enjoyed this low pace of life for a change. And we actually fell in love with Mexico City so much that we decided to stay and make it our home base in 2021. And as it often follows, once you settle down, you know, we got married and had a kid not too long after that. During my pregnancy, I realized there were a ton of resources that guide you through it, and a few that warn you of general things to look out for after the birth of your child, such as pelvic floor health. Honestly, I never knew what my pelvic floor was until I found out I was pregnant, and even then, it still took me some time to really understand the function and its importance during and after birth. Other things I never knew existed were lactation consultants and, for example, in quite a few European countries, you have a midwife who comes and visits you in the immediate aftermath of the birth. Which is amazing. Now, these are just a few things listed and I know there are more. It's great to find experts nowadays in so many topics that our older parents didn't have access to through the internet and social media platforms, but at the same time there's a lot of random and inconsistent information out there. For example, every article I read about losing the weight of your child and amniotic fluid at the hospital immediately post birth sounded pretty much like a dream come true. Until it just wasn't what happened in my case. I weighed the same coming home as I did going into the hospital and I just couldn't understand how that could be. I felt so inflated. Most people would just say, don't worry about it, you'll lose it all with the breastfeeding. Until that was another thing that didn't hold true. What I didn't know, and what I found out later that is not often spoken about, is that you might not lose that weight immediately after, depending on how many meds you've been given, which is often more when you have a C section, which was my case. With all the meds that got pumped into me, I ended up holding a lot of water weight for a few weeks. And here's another thing where I wish I had informed myself better. The journey and importance of healing, especially after a c section in my case, before returning to your usual fitness regime. Now, I know this was my own fault, but I had manifested giving birth vaginally, so I hadn't really prepared for a cesarean, and therefore neither the recovery. Now, I know this may be a personal preference, but I wish I had been told before leaving the hospital that I can start with breathing exercises before my 5 6 week checkup. Like, why do we have to wait until then to get that information or search for it online? I get you might not want to do it just then, or you might not have the capacity, or even culturally that might not align with your postpartum journey, but having the knowledge empowers you to decide when you are ready and when it's safe to start for your particular case. So as I had mentioned, I've always been hungry for information prepping during pregnancy and for the postpartum phase. And one thing I didn't think there was much or enough of was setting expectations of how your relationship might change. And that's probably in part because we already have so many things to prepare for and changes to adapt to. But Everyone talks about the lifestyle change, the sleepless nights, all the diapers, breastfeeding issues, sometimes even postpartum depression, and inevitably, that will probably have constraints on your relationship. But what I found to be missing were more in depth conversations or information about this. Once the baby is there, you go through a lot of changes, and this, naturally, changes you as a person. More notably, having your life suddenly revolve around your baby, resulting in less time for yourself and one another, can often have you wondering, who is this new person? And as you get caught up in the day to day of new parenthood life, We get so busy thinking how we can be a better parent that we sometimes neglect ourselves and forget that we were partners first. Ultimately, I wish there had been more resources setting expectations on how my sense of self might change and simultaneously how that might impact my relationship because of that. For better or worse, change is inevitable, but what is key is taking back the steering wheel and claiming ownership of how you wish your family life to look like. It's been over a year now and ultimately my reason for wanting to create this podcast is because Because I wish I could have found a resource or community that was directed at new parents like myself That go beyond parenting and focus not only on the individual parent or just mothers But rather on the partners within the relationship and how you can thrive not only as an individual parent, but also as partners So this podcast is For both mothers and fathers who want to work on maintaining or rekindling a strong partnership throughout the journey of parenthood To know and do better, to be informed so they can make decisions on what suits their partnership and family lifestyle the best. Those who want to be a part of a community that want to learn and grow personally and professionally so they can thrive as a partner and parent. I'm still at the beginning of my learning curve, but I am committed to making my experience as a parent and partner the best I can and I hope I can do the same for you. Join me every week as I share personal insights from my own and other parents experiences, and learn from other guests how we can strengthen our relationships and thrive as parents without giving up on ourselves. I'm excited to embark on this journey, and if you'd like to join me or know of anyone who might benefit from this, Please feel free to share or join my new Facebook group, Partners Beyond Parenthood. The link is in the show notes. Thank you so much, and I look forward to welcoming you back next week.