Partners Beyond Parenthood

13 | Navigating Early Childhood Intervention: Speech and Language Development w/ Jill Urbane

September 03, 2024 • Saba Bosuener • Episode 13

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In this episode, I am joined by Jill Urbane, an early childhood interventionist and social worker with over 25 years of experience. Jill shares her unique journey from working in psychiatric units and prisons to becoming a passionate advocate for early childhood development. 

We delve into her expertise in speech and language development, behavior management, and the vital role parents play in their child's early years. Jill also offers practical strategies for fostering communication skills and the importance of early intervention.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Jill's unconventional career path and how she found her passion in early childhood intervention.
  • The significance of early speech and language development and when to seek professional help.
  • The impact of technology on language learning and why interactive communication is crucial.
  • Tips for parents on balancing bilingual language development at home.
  • The role of social interaction, music, and books in enhancing speech development.
  • Strategies for fostering a positive learning environment.
  • How parents can build their confidence and equip themselves with tools for successful parenting.


Connect with Jill Urbane:
https://www.thementormomblog.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMentorMomBlog
https://www.instagram.com/thementormom/

Recommended flashcards: DK My First Words.

Connect with Saba Bosuener:
https://www.instagram.com/sababosuener/

Head to the Partners Beyond Parenthood YouTube channel for more!

Join the Partners Beyond Parenthood Facebook group to connect with me and other parents. Share your stories, get tips, and support each other on this parenting adventure!

I'd love to hear what you thought and if you're curious about any topics that you'd like me to explore, you can email me at hello@partnesbeyondparenthood.com.

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Podcast tile and logo design by Jeff Ras:
jeffsras@gmail.com | www.jeffrasdesign.com 

Speaker:

Hello and welcome to Partners Beyond Parenthood, the podcast that helps new parents thrive without losing themselves. My name is Saba Pazuner and in today's episode, we have a special guest. Her name is Jill Urbane. I hope I said that right. And I'd love for you to introduce yourself. I always feel like you, the guest can do that best.

Speaker 2:

Oh, thank you so much, Saba. I'm so happy to be here. My name is Jill Urbane and I am an artist. Early childhood interventionist and social worker who has been working with parents of young children under the age of five, primarily under the age of three for the last 25 years, helping them with understanding development and providing them strategies to help their child's development, primarily in the areas of speech and language, as well as behavior. Those are my jams. That's quite a lot.

Speaker:

That's a mouthful. You are the jack of all trades. That is awesome. Um, I think I read that you've been working with families for 20 plus years, maybe 30. So I read, um, how and why did you get into this field?

Speaker 2:

Well, that's kind of a funny story because first of all, I never, ever planned to work with families, let alone young Children. I started out, uh, actually working in mental health in psychiatric units with individuals with bipolar and schizophrenia and did that for a while. And then, um, I decided I didn't know if that was really my jam and I ended up Getting a job working in a prison with a young adult offender. So they were like 16 years old. And so, um, many of them are facing life sentences and it was really breaking my heart to see these young men, uh, that we're going to be serving life sentences that were so intelligent. Uh, they all had the same dynamic in their background and that was abuse, neglect. And so I thought from there, I think I'm going to be a children's protective services worker. Maybe it can help these boys not end up here. And so I did that. for about, I think, five years. And that's where I really fell in love with being in family's homes because it's real. What you see and you experience in somebody's home is real. And so I did that for about five years and loved it, but it was very, very stressful. And I was starting my own family. Okay. And I had an opportunity to move into early intervention. Didn't know anything about it. Hounded the special ed director until she gave me the job and have been in love with it ever since.

Speaker:

Wow. That is incredible. Quite the story. I don't think I've met many women or people that have worked in prisons already and then actually taken that work in it further, but that's incredible. I'm very sad also to hear, um, that young people in there for life sentences for things that perhaps could have been changed from early intervention. So work like you do, which is awesome. So now that you're working with families, what would you say, or Why do most parents want to work with you?

Speaker 2:

Well, most of the kids in the families that I work with, it's because their parent has a concern regarding some area of development. So, it may be that their child's not walking yet. I would say that probably 90 percent of the kids that I've worked with over the last 27, 28, 29 years, 90 percent of them have been somehow related to speech and language. Okay. They're not talking or they're not understanding. So that has just been, um, kind of like one of my platforms is to try to help parents learn early on the things they can do to help build their child's communication from, from like infancy. We shouldn't wait until they're like two. Let's get

Speaker:

started earlier. Right. Is that the general guideline of when I guess pediatricians would say, okay, that's when we should wait until. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, that, that's, um, that's kind of an area that kind of frustrates me because there's a lot of mixed messages that parents get from pediatricians. A lot of them will, I've had many parents that I've worked with have gone in with their child at the age of two or 18 months and had their pediatrician say, well, if they're not talking by the time they're three, then, then we'll do something about it. Wow. I have had a lot of parents over the, the, the last several decades say that to me. I think maybe we're getting a little bit better with, um, some of the different profiles and things that. Doctors are using now in their offices. I think they're catching things a little bit earlier, but you know, we should be working on our child's communication from the get go. And it's not something that parents really think about because I think in the beginning, we're focused on the motor skills, like getting them sitting and pulling up and cruising and all of those things. But. That's a lot of time and opportunity while our little ones are sitting around and not moving a whole lot where we can really be helping build that communication muscle from an early age so that hopefully they don't ever need that language support later on. I mean,

Speaker:

three years old. That's very. Well, I, I don't know, I don't, my, my, my baby's still under, he's about 18 months now. So it's almost very relevant for me with the speech, uh, development. Yeah. Um, yeah. Three years. I've never heard of, I think even at least the pediatricians that I see, I'm currently based in Barcelona. They'd also mentioned by 18 months, you definitely want to start seeing some kind of, um, um, Development there or like some kind of milestones. That's the first time I haven't heard that to be honest. But, um,

Speaker 3:

I know. I hope you never hear that. Yeah. Yeah. Fingers crossed.

Speaker:

Um, so that's interesting to hear. Cause I think I've also seen that you work on other things such as tantrums, et cetera, but it seems like. Most of why people come to use for, um, speech development, right? The intervention that comes in relation to that, um, when you work with these families, are you working directly with the kids or do you work with the parents on how to work with the kids or how does that work?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a really great question. Um, as somebody who does intervention, I think sometimes parents get confused with intervention and therapy and early intervention is a parent coaching model versus a medical kind of. therapy model. The goal that we have going in as interventionists is to try to help give parents the tools that they can then use with their child because they have more time and opportunity and the relationship with their child. So infusing strategies into daily routines like mealtime and bath time is going to lead to so much more learning than one hour a week with a therapist. Like I can get kids to do all sorts of great things for me on a home visit because I don't have any. I'm a new person coming in, setting the baseline of what this communication interaction is going to be. And I know how to navigate that. But for parents, if I can come in and get them to say milk and then I leave and they don't do it for the parent, then what's the point? Yeah. Right. So they need to know how to do these things. So it starts with, we have discussions about things, uh, and look at kind of where they're at. And then from there, then I will model some strategies with the parents and how to do them. And then I will coach the parents through how to do those strategies with their child. So they can build that confidence and I can help them be like, Oh, let's tweak that. We might have to shift there. Did you see what they did? Because sometimes it's learning how to get really in tune with our kids non verbals. Right. Of course. And there's a

Speaker:

lot of that.

Speaker 2:

A

Speaker:

lot of that. So how long do you typically work with families?

Speaker 2:

Well, my goal is always to make it as short as possible, right? Because if it's short, it means that their child has caught up to where they need to be and no longer need that kind of support. So it really kind of depends on the child. It depends on the parent. There's really no cut and dried answer for that. I mean, it could be, it could be three months has probably been about the shortest. Okay. And it could be three years, but sometimes those kids that I've, I'm working with them, their families longer, they have other things going on besides the speech. Okay.

Speaker:

All right. So three months to three years, be very different. So obviously I'd say that probably depends on when you actually, um, Start working with a kid as well of how long it might take. If you start with them, perhaps older than it may take a bit longer because then I guess you're doing a little of, you know, retrospective work. Um, so as parents were given these milestones, right? And they do vary a lot depending on your situation, on your baby. At what point in an infant speech development would it make sense to seek professional help?

Speaker 2:

Well, I think you have to look for the signals, right? Like the, some of the milestones that I kind of share with parents is like around, around 18 months, we would expect them to have around 20 words around 18 months and maybe, maybe start maybe doing like one or two little. Two word phrases, like more milk, you know, by two, the rule of thumb is about 50 words. And one of the other things that they don't talk a lot about on those speech milestones is the comprehension part. And that's really, really important. Parents, a lot of times in my experience, focus a lot on the expression that their children are doing. What words are they saying? And they work a lot on this. Say this, say that, say this. you know, ball and all of the labeling, but we have to work on comprehension and listening with our little ones because the more words they understand, the more words they're going to be able to use. We have much larger understanding of, of words. Then we use in a day. And so the more you help your child understand things like being able to point to pictures in a picture book, or being able to go get their cup, when you ask them to go get their cup or throw this away, you're working on the language of, um, comprehension as well as. teaching them how to listen. And that's a skill that has to be trained,

Speaker:

listening. Right. Which I guess that can literally be done from day one, right? Like you can talk to your baby

Speaker 3:

all day,

Speaker 2:

even if they're asleep. All day. All day. Well, and I think that's not always easy for parents to do. to do, especially with their first. It doesn't feel natural to just be narrating things all day long. It feels really awkward in the beginning. Yeah. I

Speaker:

mean, I definitely found it pretty awkward. I still do sometimes. I know my husband found it even more awkward. So yeah, it's definitely different from person to person. Um, so the milestones that you mentioned, is that the same for bi and multilingual kids as well?

Speaker 2:

It is the same. Um, the milestones are the milestones, but with, um, bilingual children when it there's, it's not uncommon for us to see sometimes a little bit of a lag with them with some of those milestones because they are in a bilingual home. I always use the analogy that, um, Like our comprehension and learning language is like having a file cabinet. So like when our, when our little ones are starting out, you know, we're saying ball, ball over and over and dog and cup. So in the beginning, upstairs in their brain, they have like these images of these things. Well, there's a dog picture over there and this and that. As they start to understand more, they get all of these pictures and they get to the point where they're like, I'm having a tough time finding those things. So I better start filing. So they get a filing cabinet. So they start sticking these pictures in different file folders. And in the beginning, they don't get the file folders, right? So like apple may be any round piece of fruit that we eat. And orange is an apple, you know, uh, a plum is an apple. They're all apples because they haven't got the right file. file label at the top. But with time and repetition, they start to realize, oh, okay, fruit goes at the top of that file folder. Apple, banana, watermelon, all of those things go into that file folder. Well, kids who are coming from bilingual homes have two file cabinets. So they get a lot more filing and work to do, right? That's, that's a lot

Speaker:

of work going on there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Imagine that. Isn't that a lot? That, I mean, it's staggering to think about how much more work they have to do, but it doesn't always necessarily equate to a language delay. And a lot of the research actually shows that these kiddos in bilingual homes or multilingual homes actually later on in life do much better with. A lot of those kinds of, uh, comprehension kinds of tasks and, um, understanding and reading that actually end up coming up way ahead of a lot of other kids in that area. Right.

Speaker:

Yeah. I guess I read somewhere there was some kind of study made that the brain literally forms a bit differently because of how they've grown up with two different languages. At home, I found that fascinating.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's a real gift. I think that where a lot of the parents in my experience in multilingual homes struggle is figuring out how or what to work on because a lot of the kids, at least where I'm at, tend to find the English easier and navigate towards the English. And so the parents are like, okay, well, they're getting the English, so I'll just kind of stick with the English. Right. But I always ask them, what language are you speaking at your dinner table? Or what language do you want to have at the dinner table with your children? And they'll say, um, Spanish. And it's like, okay, well then there needs to be a balance. You know, even though your child's drawn to the English, you, you have to make sure that there's a balance of exposing them to the language that you ultimately want and expect them to use at that dinner table. Yeah. Because I've met, So many families, whereas their children get older, they understand the native language, but they're not very good at speaking it and always choose to use the English. So, so I'm a big fan of infusing the languages into different daily routines. Okay. So for example, we're always going to talk Spanish. at dinner. We're always going to talk English during bath time. We're always going to do Spanish at bedtime. So that there's a little bit of variety in there and they get a chance to flex those muscles and a variety of different

Speaker:

routines. Okay. That's interesting, but that makes a lot of sense. Um, when you work with families and I guess this kind Another question came up because we're talking about, you know, bilingual kids, which means you have two parents involved. Do you typically have to work with both parents or would you work with one parent or how does that work?

Speaker 2:

Um, most of the time it's usually just one parent that's available. Sometimes I get lucky and both parents are available. Right. Um. I have a lot of videos and information on my YouTube channel that I share with parents as resources for those who maybe their husband, you know, they're like, I don't know how to tell him this. It's like, well, it's probably on a video on my YouTube channel. You can show it to him so he can understand what I'm talking about with some of these different concepts. So. I usually just suggest to them, like, if one parent is, um, bilingual and speaks, uh, I'm just going to stick with Spanish, speak Spanish and English, and the other parent only speaks English, that you can also have each parent is talking to the child in their own native language, right? Yeah. So, like, when mom's doing bath time, mom is going to speak in Spanish. When dad's doing bath time, he's going to speak in English. Yeah. And that way, they still get that balance as well. Mm

Speaker 3:

hmm.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker:

Are there any drawbacks if one parent who is bilingual so speaks, let's say in this case, again, Spanish and English, um, that they speak both languages to their child?

Speaker 2:

No, there aren't any drawbacks to that. The, the one thing that, um, I've read in the research though, is just to make sure that when you are speaking to your child, whether it's English or Spanish or whatever language, that you're doing it within the full context rather than, um, Oh, do you see the Tortuga? Right? You don't want to, you don't want to mix them together because. So much of how we learn language is done within the context of all of those words. So you want to make sure that you're speaking in complete sentences and paragraphs when you are using each of the language. Otherwise, it gets really confusing for them with those file cabinets, like, well, she said some of those words in English, but that last word was in Spanish. I don't know what I should be, which cabinet I should be going to.

Speaker:

Right. That's interesting because I've always heard it should be one parent sticks to one language. So this is the first time where someone who works in this field would say that that's not the case.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I think parents can do that. Well, I don't, I don't think so. I mean, I've had kids that I've worked with that actually have five different languages in the you know, various dialects in, um, you know, like, uh, different, um, Uh, different kinds of, uh, languages from like, uh, Asia where there's like a grandparent that speaks one dialect and the other grandparent speaks a different dialect. And um, I think my big thing is always just advising them to make sure that whoever is speaking to them in whatever language they're doing it, that they're doing it in full sentences and not bits and pieces.

Speaker:

Okay. It makes sense. So just try and stick to one context if you're speaking to them.

Speaker 2:

That's why I like to, that's why I like to stick to the routines. We're just going to do this language during breakfast and this during lunch and this during play time. It just makes it, I think, easier for both parents so that one doesn't feel like I always have to speak Spanish. Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah. Right. Always difficult, right? Depending on what country you're in, if they largely speak English. So if you're in the U S but you want to speak sometimes so hard, you go to a playground and you meet, you know, kids whose families only speak English and you're like, Oh, how do I want them to interact if I don't speak, you know, English? Um, exactly. There's definitely a lot, um, to think of there and that makes it difficult. I know a lot of parents have actually stopped speaking to their kids in the different languages cause they found it really hard to integrate their kids because they were, no one else understood, but that's interesting to know. It's very helpful. Um, And also, on the topic, um, of this, where there may be some confusion, um, what are things you have seen or heard parents do that you wouldn't recommend for speech development?

Speaker 2:

Well, I have to go with technology. I have to go with technology, um, TVs and screens and things like that. I hear a lot of parents say that, you know, my little one's learning all of these words from watching such and such. And. Language is interactive. Communication is interactive. I get feedback from another person. And while I think they are making some progress with some shows out there to try to make them a little bit more interactive for our kids, it doesn't have the same subtle nuance. I'm not getting the same kind of, uh, Um, facial expressions and body language. I mean, 93 percent of communication is tone of voice and our body language. Only 7 percent is only, is actually our vocabulary. And so the more that we can spend time interacting with our kids so they can pick up on those subtle nuances of communication, as opposed to. The technology and I know that it's going to be a part of their world. They have, there's plenty of time for them to get into that stuff. And they're going to pick up, they pick up on technology so quick, right? Like, I mean, they know how to operate remote controls and open phones and find YouTube channels and all of the things, you know, I've seen two year olds that could just like, they probably know how to set up my surround sound system better than I would, you know, but, um, it, the technology, it, it's just, it's, It's just not great for their learning. I would always, I'm always going to encourage parents to do more of the interaction with their children. And if they feel like, some parents I know like to have sound on, you know, they like the kind of sound in the background of the house, turn music on instead. Music lights the brain up. Every area of the brain lights up to music. Have that playing in the background instead of a TV.

Speaker:

And can certain types of music help impact the development as well? So I guess, I don't know, like many people will listen to children's songs, right? Would you say it always has to be that? Can it be different?

Speaker 2:

Well, I'll tell you my bias on this, and this is just because of my own experience as a parent, as well as a professional in this field, and that is classical music. I'm not a classical music fan. I'm not. But back in the day when my kids were younger and I was a social work support in a special education preschool environment for three year olds and, um, I thought these kids was watching them play. They were just so disorganized, you know, which is not uncommon for young kids. I'm going to play here for five seconds. Then I'm going to go over there and play for 20 seconds and they're just flitting all over the place. And I had been doing some reading about music and the impact it has on the brain and learning. And um, I came across an occupational therapist, a pediatric occupational therapist, who really had this great article about classical music and how it, there's something about the rhythm of classical music that closely syncopates a calm heart. And so she was saying, if you play this in the background, children will play in a more organized way, their intent, their attention will increase, their moods will stabilize. And I'm like, holy heck, I got to give that a go because my kids were like two and a half and four and it was just constant chaos, right? And so at home, I started just turning on just very, very softly in the background. Like they would hardly even notice it, just regular classical music. And I'll be gosh darn if they didn't start staying with their play for longer, if there was less conflict between them, they played much more cooperatively. And so I thought, well, I got to give this a go in the classroom. So I convinced the teacher to do it. It was like flipping a night switch, watching these kids during free choice time. Just. Play quietly and calmly and stay with activities for longer. And she was like, that's it. We are doing, we are doing classical music for free choice time every single day.

Speaker:

Wow. That's incredible, but I have to say actually. You saying that makes a lot of sense because I mean, have you watched a horror movie with no sound? Right. Like music actually has such an impact, right? Like it actually, you know, what you're listening to can create the entire environment, make the mood and yeah. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. That's great advice.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And even, even just you singing is going to help you with getting your kids to listen better. And to learn language better because when they put two individuals through, uh, in an MRI, they exposed one person to music and then the other person to nothing. The person who's, who was exposed to music, every area of the brain lit up. And the more areas of the brain that are lit up, the more opportunity for learning. Right. So when we're singing to kids, and that's why a good preschool teacher is singing all damn day. She is like, Hey, we're lining up in the line. Let's go line up. And the kids are like, Oh, I don't know what they're doing, but I better go over there. Cause that sounds like fun. So just even using that same. sing songy voice can really bring

Speaker:

young kids in and get their attention. Okay. So noted when I'm looking for good preschool teachers or any kind of teachers, they'll be singing to my kids. Got it. So that's one good thing to know about singing. How much does How does baby talk influence their development? Because we all have done it, maybe many, some people might do a bit more than others, but how does that impact their development?

Speaker 2:

Well, um, I, I would say that, you know, baby talk, our kids are going to speak that the way they're speaking, because they're learning how to move all of these muscles. So it's not going to come out clearly, but I always encourage parents to be a clear language model. So if the baby is saying baba for bottle, yes, it's your bottle. Good job. So we're acknowledging and recognizing. I know what it is that you're saying, but we're always going to be a clear articulator of the sounds that they need to make so that they learn to grow into that. Now, having said that. There are always going to be a couple of really cute things that our kids say that we just kind of want to hang on to,

Speaker:

right? And then, and that's okay. Okay, good. That's cleared. One parent might be speaking to a child in one way, right, and the other a little bit different. How can parents or partners support each other? a little bit better in fostering the speech development for their babies?

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's really a great question. I think that, um, it's really about, uh, and this goes, this is true just, I think, in general for parenting when it comes to development. And I always like to tell parents to think about the big picture, like your child is doing what they're doing now. Where do you want them to be six months from now or a year from now? What do you want it to look like? And if you can both be on the same page with that, like we don't want our kid hitting. Right? Okay. Or we want our kid using words to tell us what they want instead of throwing themselves on the ground and having, um, a tantrum because they're not getting what they want instead of using words. So sitting down and kind of figuring out where are we now, where do we want to be? And then developing that plan together on how we're going to get there. It's so much easier if we have those conversations and start thinking big picture from a young age to, to be able to get our partners on the same page. What would a young age be? Well, I'm, I'm going to say right from infancy. Okay. Right. So like, you know, saying in the beginning, okay, I understand some of the basic things that need to be in place for words to come. There are these foundational language skills that nobody really talks about, you know, and I, I kind of break it down into five areas to keep it simple for, for parents, but there are several, uh, foundational language skills, but I break it down to engagement, circles of communication, comprehension, initiation. When those five things are in place for young kids, that's when we are on the pathway to being able to use words. So with our infants, right, we're going to be working on engagement, meaning I'm engaged with people. I'm engaged with things, like I'm interested in toys. And I'm engaged with the environment, meaning I'm noticing what's going on in the environment. I notice that somebody just sneezed or mom dropped some pots and pans in the kitchen. So with our little ones, we're working on this engagement, and many parents, this is very natural, right? We're looking at our babies, and we're smiling, and we're talking to them, and we're cooing to them. I think that's more so natural, and I'm not trying to diss dads in any way, I'm not, but I think moms, it comes more naturally to them to do that. to do that. And dads, it's a little bit harder, but helping them to understand that when they are doing that and having those conversations with their baby, they're stimulating the language learning center. They're helping them to understand engagement. And then when they're sticking their tongue out and the baby sticks their tongue out, that's how we're starting to build that reciprocity or those circles of communication. There's a back and forth. So the baby's like, I stick my tongue out and look what happens. My mom and dad stick their tongue out. Let me try that again. The longer we can keep that going, this back and forth, right? The more opportunity we have for learning and, and talking about words, which then helps with the next one of comprehension, right? My mom and dad are saying, Oh, did you want more? And they stick their tongue out. They keep saying that word more, and then it happens again. Now I'm starting to understand what more means. So they all build on each other. Mm hmm.

Speaker:

And it's kind of what you were touching upon earlier about, um, technology where you just don't have that reciprocity, right? So

Speaker 2:

Oh, right, exactly. Exactly.

Speaker:

I guess that's a really good example to put in there as well. Um, so I'd say tech may be not, One of the things that you'd recommend, but what are some tools that you could, uh, recommend to help speech development?

Speaker 2:

I'm always going to start with social interaction. So doing those things that light kids up, songs and finger plays, tickle fights, you know, peekaboo, all of those social kinds of games, because here's the other piece too, is that the more emotion that we attach to something, That's positive. The more likely I'm going to want to do that again or do more of it. So that just builds on everything. More learning is taking place. Think about some of the times that you've just had these joyous experiences and how integrated that is in your memory and you can almost like feel it in your body again, how it brings you right back to that. If we can help our kids feel that kind of joy during interactions with other people, we're setting such a strong foundation for communication and have developed a love of it.

Speaker 3:

Mm hmm.

Speaker 2:

Would you say books

Speaker:

are also a good tool?

Speaker 2:

Yes, definitely love books. You can start reading to your babies from day one. But here's the thing, you don't have to read 50 million different books, right? Just pick one or two and do them over and over. Repetition is crucial for young children in learning. And with toddlers, as they start to get older, right, you know, and they're not so interested in sitting and listening to a book, just talk about the pictures on the page. Don't even worry about reading the words on the page. Just talk about things that you think that they might recognize. Car. Dog. Cat. Right? And then always follow their lead. If they're ready to turn the page, we are turning the page. If they drop the book and want to walk away, we're like, okay, we're all done. Right. Always follow their lead.

Speaker:

Yeah. And it's definitely a very big shift when they start walking around

Speaker 3:

turning pages themselves. Oh yeah. No,

Speaker:

that's, I mean, that's good advice. It's also, I'm sure many parents will be happy to think of their, their pockets to think they don't have to give out so much money to actually get so many books. So

Speaker 2:

that's great. Yeah, I find books that have really good pictures in them. Okay. Um, so if it's, you know, actual photographs, like some first word books, that's beneficial or just something that has really clearly drawn pictures. Like I love Dr. Seuss. I really do love Dr. Seuss, but those books, you can't really point to anything. So if you can find, I like the first, um, first reader books that we would normally be doing for kids in like kindergarten, because there's usually only about three or four pictures. And the page. So it's easy to start working in where's the boy, where's the dog? Because there's so little on the page,

Speaker:

it makes it easier for them to be successful. Okay. So I guess things like memory cards, essentially, like if you just have one thing on there and like, you just show that to them repetitively as well, that could also work.

Speaker 2:

I'm not a, I'm not a big fan of flashcards. I always tell families that a lot of them like to go out and get like flashcards for their kids. And I'm like, when we get flashcards, we go into teacher mode where we're like apple, car, dog. I don't know any toddlers that really find that enjoyable. Right. So parents either. I know, but they feel like I'm helping my baby. There, there is one set of flashcards that I do like. If we allow the child to take the lead in it, and those are, uh, DK, my first words, you can find them on Amazon for about 10. Okay. And they have a sensory component to it. They have nice visuals. They're really sturdy cardboard and they come in a really cool box. And the kids love putting the cards in and out and you can say, buy dog, buy fish, buy apple. So you get lots of opportunity for labeling. Okay.

Speaker:

That sounds good. I'll check that out as well. I haven't heard of that so far. And, um, What are the biggest differences you've noticed within families from when you started working with them to after?

Speaker 2:

Oh, I would definitely say, um, it's what I like to call parenting self esteem. So basically their confidence, like a lot of times when we start, um, they're in a place of just kind of being really, really anxious and worried and concerned. And you know, whether it's, whether it's speech and language, whether it's behavior, we're there because we don't have any tools, right? And when we don't have the tools to help our kids, that's when we feel worried and anxious because we just feel stuck. So that's usually where we're starting. And by the end of the journey, I always, I always start each, each, um, each family when I'm working with, I always ask them on a scale of one to 10, 10 being, oh my gosh, I'm so worried about my child's development. And one, I'm not worried at all. Where are you? And they're almost all nine or 10. When we start, wow. After we've been working together for a while and they're seeing progress from their child. I always ask them, where are you on that scale? And if they're like a two, I'm like, I'm done. We're good. Right. Because they now are at that point where they're like, I've got this. I've got the tools. I know, know what to do. I understand my child and their unique wiring. I, I understand the tools and how to use them. I understand development when we have what, those are like the three pillars that I focus on understanding development, understanding our child's unique wiring and ours. And how they work together and then understanding the strategies when we understand those three things, that's how we get to those ones and twos of, I'm good, I got it, I know what I'm doing now. Right. So you're equipping all the parents with

Speaker:

all the tools necessary. That's great. And pardon my ignorance. Um. When there is speech delay, does that have any correlation to increased tantrums, just perhaps because they can't, you know, express themselves or how does that work?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say that, um, it depends really a lot on the child and the family. Not all kids with speech delays are prone to do excessive Tantrums. Okay. It's just, I think it's more related to kind of a little one's unique wiring. Right. Sometimes a kid is different in that way, but, um, it's certainly can be problematic if little ones are relying on tantrums and meltdowns, uh, because they're frustrated because they can't communicate their wants and needs. It becomes problematic if we're not able to somehow piece. That's always, if, if I have a little one that's doing that, that's always where we're going to start is trying to work on diminishing the tantrums because they're so dysregulated so frequently and when I'm dysregulated, I can't learn. Yeah. Right. So if we can help diminish the tantrums first in those situations or at least decrease them so they're not happening as often or as long, then we now have more periods of calm. and regular regulation, which then means I can learn. So when we get behaviors under control, language always seems to take off. All right. So we'll start with putting the classical

Speaker:

music on.

Speaker 3:

That helps too. Start from there and see what happens next. That's right. That's just, that's a, that's a proactive tool right there.

Speaker:

Well, um, I have definitely learned a lot, a few things that, uh, definitely surprised me. For example, with the, um, how bilingual people can talk to their kids. Um, if one of the listeners here is interested to learn more, what resources do you have to share with them?

Speaker 2:

So, I have a speech program for parents at home called How to Get Your Toddler Talking and, um, it involves, uh, weekly coaching sessions with me as a group and a community. Uh, I also have a program for parents if they're struggling with the behavior piece, um, and that one's called the Big Picture Parenting Program. And then I also offer, uh, one on one and I also have some free resources and anybody can find those at thementormomblog. com backslash

Speaker:

Awesome. I'll make sure to add that to the show notes as well. Uh, I'm definitely going to be following you and checking out some more of your content.

Speaker 2:

I also have that

Speaker:

YouTube channel, lots of videos on YouTube, so yeah, that's where I've been checking it out. So I'll definitely add that as well. Visual content is always great. Um, so that's it. Thank you so much for being here, for sharing your knowledge, um, and all this wisdom. I think there's definitely a few takeaways, uh, for myself and hopefully of the other listeners here as well. Well, thank you so much for having me. It was really a pleasure. Thank you so much for tuning in and sticking around to the end. If you've just watched and enjoyed this video, I'd be so grateful for a like and if you'd hit the subscribe button. With your support, I'll be able to invite bigger guests and provide more value. If you're listening to the audio only, make sure to follow this podcast to get tips on parenting and partnership and hear inspiring stories from other parents as well. See you next week.