The Intersection of Faith and Personal Growth

Subscriber-only episode

What happens when you ask yourself, "Is God pleased with me?" This question becomes a focal point as we explore Psalms 139:23-24, inviting God to search our hearts and expose any hidden darkness. I share a raw and vulnerable moment from my life—an unexpected surge of anger rooted in past trauma—that led me on a path of spiritual healing. This episode emphasizes the critical role of vulnerability in our ongoing journey of transformation and spiritual growth.

Confronting the battle between pride and spiritual maturity, we draw insights from Galatians 5:16-17. The internal conflict between our flesh and spirit is a daily struggle, one that requires constant consecration and partnership with God. Through these reflections, we delve into the importance of crucifying fleshly desires and allowing the Holy Spirit to renew our minds. Living a life that mirrors God's holiness becomes our aim, with the ultimate goal of being beacons of light in a world fraught with darkness.

We wrap up this episode by embracing the affirmation, "I am called to more." This powerful declaration is a reminder that God has grander plans for each one of us. We discuss the importance of walking in faith and seeking God's guidance for healing and transformation. Our heartfelt prayer seeks to cleanse our minds, heal our wounds, and remove any barriers that hinder our spiritual potential, leaving us more fulfilled and closer to the beautiful creations God intended us to be. Join us on this journey of hope, healing, and personal transformation.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, beautiful people, and welcome back to Faith Focused Prayers where we allow God to change and transform us into who he has called and created us to be. Today's episode may be a little harsh, I don't know. We'll see how the Holy Spirit is moving. Last episode was a little bit different, it was more of a prayer, and I think today may be something similar. I'm not sure. We're just gonna see what the Holy Spirit has to say.

Speaker 1: 0:28

But I do know something God has been talking about today and the question he's been raising is is God pleased with you? Is God pleased with you? Is he pleased with the things you? He pleased with the things you've been doing, the things you've been saying, the way you've been living, the things that you're holding in your heart? The scripture for today is Psalms 139 and 23. It says Search me, o God, and know my heart, try me and know my anxieties, and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting. I'm going to read that again. I'm going to slow it down Psalms 139, 23 and 24. Search me, o God, and know my heart, try me and know my anxieties, and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

Speaker 1: 1:32

This morning I was getting ready to go somewhere with my husband and the spirit of, of anger overcame me, like violence, anger, frustration, to the point where I could really just hurt someone. And I was like, okay, I need to go and pray. So I go and pray. And then the Lord reminded me of a prayer that my pastor prayed last night, and she prayed God to remove the scabs off of people's wounds. To remove the scabs that basically it just healed over the wound but it didn't properly heal, and to dig back into the tissue, the scar tissue, basically reopen the wounds that people have. That just a skin, a layer of skin healed over but it didn't heal the core. And in this season, when I tell you, god has been literally answering all the prayers that I've prayed or been a part of the very next day. He has been moving so quickly in the season and I'm taking full advantage of that, but it has been a lot and we're barely what six days into the month.

Speaker 1: 2:53

Anyways, she prayed that prayer and then today, as I got, I had just finished praying and talking to God and all of a sudden anger came over me and so I had to go right back into prayer and God began to reveal to me, or bring back to my remembrance, that anger is the emotion that I've begun to show because of trauma and being mishandled and being mislabeled in my childhood, in previous relationships, because I used to be a very sensitive person. I used to be a crybaby. I used to cry about everything and people would pick on me or talk down on me for being so emotional and I started to put layers and guards up where I didn't cry in front of people. Now it's very hard for me to cry in front of anyone. If I'm crying, it's usually because of prayer or I'm really in some type of pain, but rarely do I cry now because the emotion I learned to display is anger.

Speaker 1: 4:00

It's easier to be angry than it is to be vulnerable. It's easier to be angry than it is to be vulnerable. It's easier to be frustrated than to be disappointed. It's easier to be agitated than it is to be angry. You know wounded and I began to have this coping mechanism of becoming very hard body and God was just showing me and I just got this pain in my chest and I'm praying and I'm praying. I'm like God, help me, heal me. It was physically hurting me, and that was God letting me know how deep that wound really is and that we're now on this journey of healing because of the prayers that were prayed.

Speaker 1: 4:42

And so I quoted Psalms 139 because I'm asking God search me and know my heart, try me and know my anxieties. God knows the things that make me anxious. He knows the things that make me angry. He knows the thing that make me makes me sad. He knows us better than we know ourselves. And if there's any wicked way in me, lead me into the way of everlasting. That was God revealing to me. Daughter, there's something in you that I'm not pleased with. God does not want us to be angry. The Bible even says be angry but sin not. And anger will get to the point of recklessness, of destruction, of violence, and that is not God's will for anyone. It will lead you down a place of impulsion, people who black out in the midst of anger. All of that is wicked, all of that is demonic, that is not God's will and that is not God's way. And I knew that it wasn't going to be dealt with today. It wasn't going to be healed today, because this will require a lot of sitting with God, a lot of vulnerability with God, a lot of honesty with myself, and then God also told me today that healing is inconvenient. It's necessary but it's inconvenient.

Speaker 1: 6:02

All the times in our life when we set the time aside to heal are usually the times when we don't get healed. You usually get healed in the midst of something. You get healed when it's least expected. You get healed when it's almost like grief. You can't decide when it comes, but when it comes you have to just flow with the feeling, flow with the emotion, and that's what today was for me. I had to drop everything I'm doing and run to God so he could try to relieve some of the pressure, and he just let me know I was going to have to sit with this thing and I wanted to share that.

Speaker 1: 6:42

Because as we elevate and as we grow deeper with God and as we get more into our word and we cut off certain sins, and you can often think that you get to a place where, ok, I have it kind of figured out we never have it all the way figured out but you feel like, okay, I did the work, I've done the forgiveness, I let go of the disappointments. I did the healing journey and then God shows wait, wait, wait, there's more. This is the thing that you hid deep inside you. This is the wound that it was so bad, scar tissue began to build over it and then a layer of skin. So unless I revealed it, you wouldn't even know it's there, and God is trying to take us into higher levels and deeper levels, and he's saying these things cannot come with you, for where I'm taking you.

Speaker 1: 7:32

You cannot afford to have anger, you cannot afford to have bitterness, you cannot afford to have resentment and disappointment. You can't have a lack of emotional control and emotional intelligence. God is dealing with everyone concerning their emotions right now. It has been insane, and that's the emotion that I'm displaying. I'm not even an angry person per se, like I don't display anger, but it's in there from coping mechanisms, and so I pray that I be healed in Jesus name, and that's really what I wanted to talk about.

Speaker 1: 8:16

I'm gonna pray against some of these spirits that manifest and the things that we are keeping. For me, it's anger. For you it might be jealousy, it might be uncertainty, it might be doubt, it might be hatred, it might be resentment, and whatever your issue may be today. I just want you to take it to God in prayer and allow him to do the work. Allow him to show you who you are.

Speaker 1: 8:47

Pride will keep us from doing the work because we'll be in denial or too prideful to admit when we have this issue, to admit when we need help, to admit when we don't have it in control. But God doesn't bring it to our attention for us to get it under control. He brings it to our attention to give to him, to lead us into control. He's not telling you to do it by yourself. He's telling you to partner with him, to become a better version of you, to look more like him. You know the word says present yourself as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable, which is your reasonable service. So if there's anything in us, any wickedness in us, that is not holy, that is not acceptable, that cannot stand before the presence of God, then you have to pick what's more important to you, the baggage you're holding onto or getting into his presence, the things you refuse to deal with and the things you refuse to let go of, or being in his will and getting everything he has for you.

Speaker 1: 10:02

God also told me today that your flesh and the enemy are on the same side. Both of those the enemy and your flesh are trying to fulfill desires that draw you away from God, and I never looked at it that way. But when you really sit back and think, you cannot trust your flesh and you cannot trust the enemy. The only thing you can trust, the only person you can trust, is the Holy Spirit and God, the spirit that lives inside of you. Galatians 5 and 16 says I say then walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh Verse 17,. For the flesh lust against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

Speaker 1: 10:58

So this is letting you know there's a wrestling taking place between what you want to do and what you ought to do, between the spirit and between the flesh, between carnality and godliness. This is a wrestle that takes place no matter how high you get in god, no matter how anointed, no matter how called, no matter how much time you spend in the word, because we are still here on this earth and we still have this fleshly body. We have to crucify ourselves daily, we have to consecrate ourselves daily, because the enemy and the flesh are constantly trying to get you to go against what God wants, to go against what the spirit wants, because it's uncomfortable sometimes, it's hard sometimes, to walk in the spirit and be surrounded in a world that you do not belong, because, ultimately, the that's what happens. The closer you get to god, the more you begin to look like him and the less you look like the world. And now you're in a foreign place, which, god you know. Everything belongs to god, but god says that there is a little g god of this world, who controls this world, who dominates this world, and you, as the light, have to shine in the darkness. You have to be the one set apart, you have to be the one different, you have to be the one to you know. Change the temperature of the space you're in, and carnality keeps you away from the presence of God.

Speaker 1: 12:34

I do believe, though, that the more you spend in God's presence, the more consecration you have, the more sanctification you have, the more your flesh will begin to fall under subjection, because your spirit has more power over your flesh, and the Bible says be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So you have the ability, through the word and through the Holy Spirit, to transform your mind, to change the way you think, to change the cravings your body has to change the desires that your body has. To change the cravings your body has to change the desires that your body has. To change the things that it seeks after instant gratification. All of these things you have the ability to change those by creating new habits, by creating in you and clean, by having god creating you a clean heart, by renewing your mind and eventually your flesh will begin to understand. Ok, wait, I have no power and authority in this body. Ok, I hope that makes sense and you guys are not having an issue following along. But that's where we're at.

Speaker 1: 13:38

So Our affirmation for today is I am called to more, I am called to more. I am called to more. God has called you to more, he has called you to greater, he has called you to higher. God would not show you the dreams, the visions, the plans, the future, the potential, if it was not capable. God would not require things of us if we weren't able to do it, if we didn't have the ability to do it. Everything God requires of us, we have the ability to do it with his help. And God does not require us to do anything that Jesus did not do. He gives us the blueprint, um, he gives us all the tools and resources we need. We just have to walk in it. We just have to acknowledge him in all our ways so that he could direct our path, so that he could order our steps and let the word live in us, in our heart, and then not only be hearers, but being doers of the word. So I am called to more, you are called to more. God has more for you, he has greater for you, he has higher for you. He has new levels, new blessings, new doors, new opportunity, and that is your portion.

Speaker 1: 15:07

So, god, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for this time of reflection, we thank you for this time of clarity, we thank you for this time of just revealing to us the things that dwell inside us that are not pleasing to you. Father, our wish and our hope is to be pleasing to you, god. It is to be set apart. It is to be holy and you, god, it is to be set apart. It is to be holy and acceptable, god. It is to strive for perfection, because, although we are imperfect people. We serve a God who is perfect. Lord, you are perfect, you are holy, you are righteous, you are just, and your word says that you chastise those you love. So, god, we thank you for the correction today. We thank you for the push and the press on our heart to do better, to be better, to live better.

Speaker 1: 15:53

Lord, we thank you for your grace and your mercy, that you do not treat us as our sins deserve, but that you grab our hand and you walk with us and you do life with us and you live and dwell in us, father, and you walk with us and you do life with us and you live and dwell in us. Father. Lord, I ask that you would heal every area in our life, every area in our heart, god, that is operating in ways that are not pleasing to you, god, that are contrary to your word, contrary to your truth. Father, that you are the way, you are the truth, you are life. God Jesus, we thank you for the finished work. We thank you that, because of you, we're able to go directly to God's presence and be in fellowship and be in communion and get everything that we need. Lord, you are the answer to all our prayers. Your presence is where we find peace. Your presence is where we find hope. Your presence is where we find strength.

Speaker 1: 16:46

God, I ask that you continue to transform our minds and change the way that we think, change the way that we live, change the desires we have. God, your word says let this mind be in you, that is, also in Christ Jesus, father. So we just come and we present our minds before you today, god, our conscious and our subconscious, father, our frontal lobe, god, every area, god, the way we think, our thought patterns, our memories, everything, god, every part of us we presented to you and we ask that you would just clean us up and do the work in us. Father, finish the work that you started in us. Finish the healing journey. Finish, god, us father, finish the work that you started in us. Finish the healing journey, finish, god. Help us to look more like you, god, your word says that we go from glory to glory, god, and so every time we come into your presence, we want to leave a little bit more like you. God. Leave better, leave happier, leave um filled. Leave better, leave happier, leave filled.

Speaker 1: 18:06

No-transcript. Full of trauma, because it was full of abuse, because we were mishandled, because we were mistreated, father, and we've built a wall and we've built layers over these pains and layers over these memories, god. But your will today is that you heal us, and so I ask, god, that you would touch our wounds. We call on Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. You have shown yourself to be a healer, god. You have shown yourself to be faithful, you have shown yourself to be loving, you have shown yourself to be gracious, you have shown yourself to be kind. You have shown yourself, father, to be my protector and to be our provider, father. And so we ask, right now, that you would come into our life, god. Come into our heart, come into our space and just touch us with your healing powers.

Speaker 1: 19:07

Touch every area, god, of brokenness, of heartbreak, of disappointment, of envy, of jealousy, of bitterness, of frustration, of low self-esteem, of insecurities, god, that cause us to sin, that cause us to lose control of our emotions, lose control of our actions. God, heal every ounce of pride, every ounce of ego, of imposter syndrome, god. Impulsiveness, lying, backbiting, backsliding, god, toxic cycles bewitch, father indecisiveness, animosity, conceit. God, lord, I ask that you heal anything that is blocking us, father, from spiritual growth, from finances, from ministry, from our potential, from our calling, from loving ourselves, from loving our neighbors, from loving you, god, anything that is operating in our life that is keeping us or hindering us from being everything that you have called and created us to be, father, we ask that you would reveal it, that you would heal it and remove it in the name of Jesus. Remove anything, god, that is keeping us in bondage Any addiction, any disease, any person, any relationship, any friendship, anything, god, everything, father, that is holding us captive in bondage. Father, that is not your will for us, lord, that is not your will. So help us, father, to crucify our flesh and to lift your will up, higher than our own, to make you the priority in our life and to let your will be done. God, help us come into the knowledge that we were created and designed for a plan and a purpose, god, your plan and your purpose, not to serve ourselves, but to serve you, to love you, to glorify you.

Speaker 1: 21:16

Any person who is dealing with the brainwashing from narcissism, from manipulation, from abuse, god, from trauma, I ask that you would touch that wound, god. Let mercy flow over them, let love overtake them, god, heal God the childhood trauma. The childhood trauma, god, that put us in situations that children should not have been in. Help us, god, to forgive ourselves, to forgive those who hurt us, to forgive those who caused us to become a version that is not like you, god, a version of ourselves that we do not recognize, a version of ourselves that we do not understand. God, help us, father, to come into the true identity of who you are and who you say we are.

Speaker 1: 22:15

Lord, I ask that you would breathe on us, breathe life into us, and that, as we pour out and as we expose ourselves to you, that you would refill us and give us a new identity and give us a new purpose and give us a new strength and give us a new understanding of deeper, of better, of higher, of better, of higher.

Speaker 1: 22:50

Lord, I thank you that you are everything that we need, that all of the answers are found in you. I thank you that you are a God who sees, who knows and who responds to the hearts of your people. No longer will we use the excuse God knows my heart. So many people use that as an excuse to be in sin. But God, knowing your heart is not an excuse for sin. God knows your heart and he knows what you do. He knows what you say, he knows the decisions you make.

Speaker 1: 23:19

And so now, in this season, today, I pray that God shows you your heart. He shows you you in all the ugliness and all the beauty and all the imperfections and all the potential, and that you take every ugly, hidden, broken thing and that you give it to him and you let him, who's the potter, shape you and mold you into the beautiful creation you are called to be lord. Thank you for this time, thank you for this episode. I pray that this blesses somebody and I thank you that you are doing a beautiful work in us all. In jesus, mighty name, I pray. I I love you. God loves you. Until next time, make sure you share this with somebody. Bye.