Balancing Fatherhood, Fitness, and Guy Stuff

Juggling the demands of fatherhood and daily life can make sticking to a fitness routine feel like an uphill battle. I've grappled with this myself, especially while trying to keep up with a marathon training schedule. Discover how I navigated the treacherous 'no-days-off' mentality, learned the hard way about the dangers of overtraining, and the unintended consequences of not always being upfront with my coach. We dive into the complexities of maintaining motivation, even after completing an ambitious goal of running a marathon every month for a year, and why honesty in self-assessment is crucial for any fitness journey.

Life is full of "what-ifs" and paths not taken, from almost joining a college basketball team to an unexpected brush with a border patrol career. I open up about these crossroads and the profound ways our choices steer our life's direction. Our conversation illuminates the balance between personal efforts and trusting the greater flow of life. We also look at how our decisions can shape not just our own lives, but the legacy we leave for our children, finding authenticity in competitive bodybuilding, and pushing personal boundaries to redefine success.

Wrapping up this heart-to-heart, we reflect on the importance of setting and pursuing personal goals, the process of self-discovery, and the beauty of trusting the journey. I share a few laughs and behind-the-scenes moments that didn't make it to my running coach, highlighting the lighter side of our fitness odysseys. As you listen, you'll be reminded of the power in trusting the process and the inspiration to chase down your life goals, making for a truly motivating start to your week. Join me on this exploration of life, love, and legacy, and how these stories can spark a fire within to pursue your passions with relentless drive.

Follow Mitch @ http://instagram.com/go_for_mitch

Follow Bart @ http://instagram.com/bartonguybryan

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Dad, Bods and Dumbbells, where we're talking about fitness, fatherhood and just guy stuff in general, practical advice and thoughts that really have been a part of our lives right now, hopefully valuable to y'all listening and watching out there.

Speaker 2: 0:12

Yeah, thanks for listening and subscribing wherever you enjoy podcast. Today's episode. We're going to talk a little bit about running plans, marathons and how we get through the monotony of doing everyday things, but also being healthy and fit.

Speaker 2: 0:27

Thanks for listening, Mitch what's going on, brother Bart? So, okay, I always have issues with a few things. The first thing is I have, uh, I got into running, and early on, probably about two, three years ago. But what I would do is like the David Goggins method. So I would run six miles a day, but, you know, run in the sense of, like you know, 10, 11 minute miles, but before you knew it, I mean, that's ends up being like 30 miles a week.

Speaker 2: 0:54

You're putting a lot of miles on your body and I started doing races. I started going like, hey, I want to do a marathon or I want to do a 10 K and those types of things. And because of that I started realizing, well, maybe I just need a plan. So what happened was I started getting into these plans because they, you know, involve tempo runs and, you know, making sure that you rest on the right days, cause I wasn't resting at all. It was like seven days a week I'm running David Goggin style, you know, no days off. You know that was my mantra. It was very stupid, by the way. I should have had some rest days, cause I definitely injured myself, uh, yeah, and you know I am a bit of a tank, but I am not bulletproof.

Speaker 2: 1:30

So, all that to say, I got this running coach and he's been awesome. Uh, the only problem is and he doesn't know this I've never told him this, cause I, even if I don't do the plan, I say I did cause it's in this app and you just press, you know the check mark. And so what I've started to become is I've just like well, today I'm going to run three, like this morning I ran three miles because that's all I could. I could fit into my time because I had to drop my son off at school. I had to drop my daughter off and there's like 45 minutes. So you run and when you can get cleaned up, go to work, right, well, he sends me this three-week training plan and I realize that it's based on it compounds. Yeah, so it's based completely on the fact that I did all of the workouts before it. So we're talking nine miles, just normal tempo run. Yeah, hey, don't worry, just stride this out. See how you feel. Run a 10K, this for speed and time yourself out.

Speaker 2: 2:25

And I'm kind of panicked. Not only am I panicked for the fact that I've been lying about my training program. But I'm also worried that, like, at some point he's going to find out, at some point I'm going to get caught and I'm going to be like, well, why was my marathon time Like half, you know, twice as long as it should have been? It's because, obviously, I wasn't training, but he doesn't know that yet. So my question for you is, as a trainer yeah, how do I handle this?

Speaker 1: 2:52

all right, well, let's, I'll translate this into like the gym. So if if I'm writing a program for somebody and like in its bench press or right, like let's think, focus on things that people know about, which is bench press, like and and you know, I I'm assuming you're doing five sets of bench twice a week progressively, you know like adding a little bit of weight.

Speaker 1: 3:12

The reps are going down you're getting and then, and the goal is 12 weeks from now, yeah, we're gonna max you out at 350, right, and you're right now you're max 330, yeah, and yeah, and we're trying to put, you know, 20 pounds on your bench. If you, the reality is is like your coach doesn't like and I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but he doesn't care that much, I mean, you're not. It's because he's writing you a program. Yeah, there's an app. You send it to you. He's checking to see that you're hitting.

Speaker 1: 3:46

I've done it, I've done it. I've done it Right. Like his investment in you is there. Right, you're paying him to be your coach, but it's not that big. So it really comes down to what you want, like, if you're okay going and like failing at that marathon time the next time that you're supposed to like kind of hit your PR. If you're okay with, like, having that knowledge in the back of your head, like I didn't really do the work, then you know your, your coach can be like well, I don't know what happened, you're like I do.

Speaker 1: 4:16

And then you can spill the beans then, or you can keep the secret and you can keep rolling.

Speaker 2: 4:20

I mean, that's what happens, right Like so for me I'm kind of like.

Speaker 1: 4:23

But my point, the point before you before, you answer.

Speaker 1: 4:25

It's just that is that, like I think it's often we we put this great like um kind of weight into like the relationship with the coach. But the coach can only be as bought in as you are bought in, right, um, and it's so you like the more, the more disciplined you are, the more you're staying with it. Because if you do everything he tells you to do and then you still don't pr, then he can at least say, okay, well, that didn't work quite as well as we thought, let's tweak this. But if you get to the point and you don't pr and he's like, oh crap, like we need to move some variables around, what do you felt like was too much, or maybe we need to recover, but if you didn't actually do what he said, then he can't help you adjust.

Speaker 2: 5:10

That's my point.

Speaker 1: 5:11

Well, okay, I don't think I answered your question. No, no, you did.

Speaker 2: 5:15

Now it hurt my feelings a little bit, because I assume that my coach cares very deeply about me.

Speaker 2: 5:20

He's up all night worried about Mitch's wife, I guess you know they're like a hundred people he works with you know. So all that to say, um, here's where I'm struggling is, I know that that plan is going to get me to where I want to be. The problem is, I don't know if I'm burnt out, because I did do the marathon a month and I really didn't have to train much in between because, you know, the long run was the last marathon type thing and I really didn't have to train much in between because the long run was the last marathon type thing and I really didn't care about my times. It started to that point where I just didn't care anymore. I was tired, my body hurt and what I'm struggling to do is to find that back, is to like what happened before.

Speaker 2: 5:57

I started getting obsessed with running, marathons and reality, not really even pushing myself where it's like I know I can finish. I'm not worried about that. Like, how do I care again? I don't know if it's about discipline necessarily it probably is but also like I just I'm struggling to really care again and the reason I keep my coach around and he's given me plenty of opportunities to quit and just do my own thing or do like that running app, but now I'm sitting here going, man, I just don't know how to get that feeling back and I think that's the struggle is, I just don't and I don't want to lose my endurance running because it was so hard to gain it. I don't want to have to go back to it like start back over and like run a mile, walk, run a mile, whatever. I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1: 6:46

So so I'm feeling like a little trapped, honestly. Yeah, it's interesting. I mean, I think this is a really you know, I always think about people when they first start anything. There's just like this excitement about like doing the thing and just doing it is enough. Like you know, whether that's just showing up at the gym and doing the exercises and just moving weight around, and hey, I just feel accomplished.

Speaker 1: 7:04

And at some point, when you do that long enough, you know and it's just about like, oh, I like, whether it's I want to do a marathon a month or I want to go to the gym seven days a week or six days a week, or whatever you start that the motivation to do it wanes and you have to find a new goal, and so there's a lot of ways to go. You could say, okay, I want to improve, I want to run half the marathons I ran last year, or maybe a third of them, but I want to PR in each one, and so that changes the way you train. That changes the way you think about it. It changes how you even like think about you know the fact that you're losing weight.

Speaker 1: 7:44

You've lost like 23 pounds in the last month, or so Like all those but the the idea behind that is just like you start looking at the other variables than just effort, the first variable usually that people need. Behind that is just like you start looking at the other variables than just effort. The first variable usually that people need to overcome is just effort Interesting Discipline to show up.

Speaker 2: 8:03

So where I'm struggling, you're saying, is just I got to find a new goal. I need to find a new motivation, like what really gets me excited about it.

Speaker 1: 8:10

Yeah, because you've done it. You've done a cool thing last year 12 marathons in 12 months. Not a lot of people can say they did that. That's incredible, right and so. But that's also probably like, oh, you know, you're probably over, not over-trained, but like, uh, that's, that's. That's a lot mentally.

Speaker 2: 8:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:28

Right, and so there's probably another part that's like Ooh, I mean, I just need to take a step back and reassess.

Speaker 2: 8:34

We usually call it burnout in my world. What would you call it in the fitness world?

Speaker 1: 8:38

I mean it's a little different because of what I mean. You wouldn't do a bodybuilding show a month.

Speaker 2: 8:43

You know, yeah, yeah, you'd be wasting away.

Speaker 2: 8:47

But I mean, yeah, like it's the idea of like I'm going to max out my bench every week and eventually you're either going to get injured or you're just going to like hate life because you know, you don't see the result You're not going to keep going, you're not going to see the results Right, and maybe that's it too, maybe it's, maybe it was too much in the sense like I just didn't focus solely on hey, I want to PR each one, I want to get better on each one, and this is how I show it.

Speaker 1: 9:18

Instead it was like I just got through it. Yeah, I gotta accomplish this. But if you're running a marathon in amarillo and another marathon in, you know we can uh yale or yale uh veil or somewhere like that. You know, the terrain is completely different. Yeah, the altitude is completely different, like everything's different. So a marathon is not a marathon yeah you know it's not the same.

Speaker 1: 9:35

you go to the, you go to bench press, you put 315. 315 is 315. I mean, the bar might feel a little different, the air condition may be on or off, but pretty much all the other conditions are the same. It's not always apples to apples. That's why it's good to like hey, you know what I always do the Austin Marathon. Or I always do some benchmark marathon that you do several years in a row that you can kind of like okay, I know that marathon, I know where it's going to be hard, yeah.

Speaker 2: 10:03

That's a good point.

Speaker 1: 10:06

And so that all of a sudden you're going from just like willing yourself, like kind of Goggins-ing yourself to it, goggins-ing, I'm. Goggins-ing myself to it. Instead of that, more of like a, like a surgical, like uh, strategy. Okay, like how am I doing this better? What? What are some things that I can do that are giving gonna give me like a 0.01 improvement, because over 26 miles, that 0.01 is a lot yeah, right, so just little things, that's a good point.

Speaker 2: 10:39

So not drinking alcohol on your marathon might be, might be a well see, I think that's an interesting thing, though, right, because, uh, what what bart is referencing is that at the austin marathon in february, I decided to drink anything that was offered to me and it's a party atmosphere in Austin and so I did a whole compilation video of all the things I drank uh, fireball whiskey, tequila beer, full beers, and you know, by mile 16, I was pretty hammered and I needed food, but all they had, all I had, were gels, and so I almost thought about leaving the course and buying a sandwich and coming back to the course.

Speaker 2: 11:17

That's how just wild it was. But here's what I think is the problem. I use that as the reason why I sucked at my time. I don't tell people my times because I'm ashamed of them, so wouldn't that be a motivation enough to be like, hey, if there's not a four in front of it, I don't want to do it. But instead I'm kind of like, well, I did drink the whole time and so, like that was my goal and you know it's.

Speaker 2: 11:38

Or I've done 11 of these marathons already. This is my last. I'm hurting my knee, you know it's like, and what's funny is I used to. I used to hear it when we'd start. So by the time I'd done three or four, I was pretty comfortable in my pace, I was pretty good where you get in these pacing groups and people would start making excuses and you'd start hearing and be like ah, my knees, man, my knees been bothering me, or you know, oh, this, you know this isn't feeling right or something. And you start realizing, oh, they're already telling themselves I'm not going to do it, I can't do it, I'm not good enough.

Speaker 2: 12:09

And what I realized is what I do is more of a like well, I did do this, or it was 110 degrees. It's never about me necessarily. It's always about, like, the circumstances surrounding it, and I use those. I start with those excuses already before I start. I don't start with I'm going to win this race or I'm going to break five hours, or I'm. It's like I'm going to finish, I'm going to run 26.2 today, but it so I think that's probably where it's at is like I've either found a cheat code on how to finish a marathon always, or I realized that. What. What do I really like about this? What do I really value about this? Um, the drinking thing was cool. What I'm going to do next year at Austin is I'm going to promote Texas whiskey, texas whiskey festival, and every mile I'm going to have a new Texas whiskey at every mile. But at this time I'm going for time, baby.

Speaker 1: 13:00

Okay.

Speaker 2: 13:00

I want to get it done.

Speaker 1: 13:01

So this reminds me like, uh, and I've never seen it done in the States and I'm sure it happens, uh, but it's probably more of an expat thing. So when I was in Mauritania, west Africa, uh, for the peace corps, and we'd be in the capital, which is Nuwak, shot, and you don't have to know any of these words.

Speaker 2: 13:17

Don't worry, I'm a dumb, dumb man, I got it. Desert West Africa.

Speaker 1: 13:21

But anyway, there's a lot of expats that German European.

Speaker 2: 13:27

What's an expat?

Speaker 1: 13:27

An expat is somebody from outside of the country that live there, works there, so usually like NGO, or they work for the embassy or they work for some sort of non-governmental organization or World Vision or that type of thing. So they have what is called these hash runs, and it has nothing to do with hashish unfortunately.

Speaker 2: 13:48

I wish.

Speaker 1: 13:50

But you get together and you go on these runs. Now, if it's a country where you can drink alcohol in public, then at every mile point you have to hug a beer to go on, and it's usually a five to ten mile run, but here in Mauritania alcohol is illegal.

Speaker 2: 14:09

You can't drink alcohol in public in Mauritania.

Speaker 1: 14:11

No, you can't. I mean, they have bars that are run by expats and people that are, but it's not because it's not is it a muslim country?

Speaker 1: 14:20

it's an islamic republic, okay so a lot of the like you know, islamic rules are also like societal rules, so you can't just like go in and buy a beer at a store, you have to go to like a specific place, but anyway. So, like a lot of times the embassy is like different, like you know. There, you know the, the italian embassy had like an amazing italian restaurant and they would serve here the mexican industry is where you could go get like that's interesting yeah, so you'd have like, but anyway, point is on the hash run.

Speaker 1: 14:47

So we you know this guy I don't remember his name, is german guy with a big, you know handlebar mustache, but organize it and we go out and it's like five or seven mile run throughout the like, throughout the town, and we come back to his place and we would like sing all these drinking songs and just get completely smashed um, it's like I always thought, like it's what it's such a great idea like.

Speaker 1: 15:07

and the the original point was like you know, you run a mile, you slam a beer, you're doing a lot, and you do that for like five or six miles and you come back and you're plastered and then you party and all this, and they had all these, like you know we are bastards through and through Like all these, like funny drinking songs and everything, oh man. But it was it was the perfect thing for for these, you know, like completely burnt out.

Speaker 2: 15:29

Peace Corps volunteers yeah, they're all coming in from the village like totally like shell, shocked.

Speaker 1: 15:34

And you know sand in our eyes.

Speaker 2: 15:35

How long did you have to do it? Two years. Can you decide to do longer?

Speaker 1: 15:40

Yeah, some people, you can stay another year. Usually you find a different post Every once in a while. Somebody would stay in the village, but normally it's like, oh, you want to take a leadership position in the Peace Corps for that country, got it.

Speaker 2: 15:53

So you might oversee volunteers.

Speaker 1: 15:55

So did you get to pick your country? No, I mean, I spoke French, or enough French, and I asked for French West Africa. And then you know they don't have to give you what you asked for, but you know they do their best as long as you meet the requirements.

Speaker 2: 16:10

You didn't think like Paris you know I speak a little French you know France might be nice Not to make this a Peace Corps episode but you're, you're serving underdeveloped countries yeah, no, I get the idea. Paris is not underdeveloped, paris is under. I mean, it depends on who you ask places like.

Speaker 1: 16:28

But you know there's when you go to a horribly, you know like, just literally a desert like with like mud huts and, like you know, no drinking water, like that, like you, you think to yourself, man, you know, this peace corps fiji, damn, my, my friend's buddy like I met him at his wedding and I had just gotten out of the peace corps and he was peace corps tanga, and I'm like, what'd you do? He's like, yeah, you know, I worked with, like uh, advertising for the government. I wrote a song which became a hit in the country, just like.

Speaker 2: 17:01

This is unbelievable. And you're in a mud hut. I'm like, I'm living in a mud hut, dude. This is not good, that's wild. I wrote a song. I became really popular, you know, I think. Just in general, I think those types of things are really awesome. Uh, I could never do it like I really it's a little late in the game.

Speaker 1: 17:17

Yeah, what if I did it now?

Speaker 2: 17:18

it'd be really weird, but, like at the time it was like I think you know there was an opportunity for me to go to guatemala to live with the family for six weeks. It was like an extension of spanish yeah our spanish class.

Speaker 2: 17:31

They asked me to go and I didn't, because I just met my wife and I was like I want to see how this thing goes. Yeah, now if it didn't, because I just met my wife and I was like I want to see how this thing goes Now. If it didn't work out I would have been pissed, but it did work out. So I'm like, oh, it's okay, I don't know a lick of Spanish anymore, but at least I got the girl you know. So that is an interesting piece, but I don't have you thought about. So one thing I think about a lot is looking back. With the age and the time and the experience that you've built, do you wish you'd gone a different path? Like whether, you know, obviously you took a turn to do here and then here, and then here and then here to get to here Was there. When you look back, is there any part or a turn where you're like, man, I wish I would have explored that route.

Speaker 1: 18:15

It's a good question and you know, I think there was a lot of kind of starting and stopping, you know, changing directions, and I think I mean I look back at all of them I go, wow, I'm so happy I did all those things my two years in New York as an actor.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Yeah, oh yeah, I forgot about that.

Speaker 1: 18:31

You know I did live in south of France for a year. My last year of school I went and lived in South of France, got a minor in French for doing that which really opened my eyes to the world and that kind of led me to Peace Corps. And so you know, it's hard to say. I mean they were all really good experiences. I think I can't think of one Really that you would ever be like oh, I wish I would have pursued that more.

Speaker 1: 18:59

I think the only one is. So when I went to college I went to Mesa Community College in San Diego and I got an intro to the basketball coach and from my cousin's husband at the time, who was like a professional football player, so he went over to, he introduced me to the guy and the guy was like I'll let you try out and so like, and I didn't really tell anybody, um, and I was staying with my aunt at the time and I went to the first tryout and they ran us like hell yeah, like two miles on the track and then they brought us in wouldn't let us drink water, something about, like you, you know the toughness of like not drinking.

Speaker 1: 19:37

Well, I was like this is ridiculous. So I went through the practice and and then the next day I just didn't go back, yeah, I just dropped out, you know, I didn't go back to school but the guy had, like you know, put me in, like you know, pro, you know, got me my schedule so that I could make practices, work and there was like a class for like the, the, the um, you know, the, the team would take me to a class together, so he had signed me up for all those things.

Speaker 1: 20:03

So you were going to make the team I he is. He was assuming, I mean, I guess I mean he hadn't really like seen me play much, but I mean anyway could you have made the? Team. I think I think I could have, I think I I mean I would have, I think I mean I would have.

Speaker 1: 20:14

I wouldn't have been a starter, but I, I think I could have made the team, and so I I just I think that's a regret, just like letting that go yeah when you know and not like seeing that through at least at least a year, at least a season interesting so that's cool, you know, I don't.

Speaker 2: 20:28

I think about it too is like I don't have a ton of necessarily regrets as much as I have, like I've pursued opportunities to where I go. And I mean, of course, I'm a, I'm a Christian. So I always look at it from a perspective of, well, I'm going to just go through the next open door and then it's not up to me, right, there is stuff that's up to me, like I can work hard, I can do, but I'm going to go through the first door, I'm going'm gonna put my full effort into it. I almost was a border patrol agent really yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:58

So we were in phoenix at the time and it was like, of course, like there's seasons of this, but this was a time where they're hiring like 30 000 border patrol agents. And I was 26 and I was like, well, I could retire at 46 full pension, like because I had a college degree. I was already like an e9 or an E10. So like I would have been paid great. The only problem was you didn't know where you'd be stationed and you know how it works is usually seven on, seven off, that type of thing. So I was like I could be away from my family for seven days and it'd be all right. I guess it wouldn't be ideal, but it'd work. Anyway, I go at the Tucson sector and it's where you do live interviews. They're scenarios, and so everybody I talked to that's ever done this. They're not allowed to talk about it, they have to sign NDAs or whatever. But they were like you'll be fine, you'll be fine.

Speaker 2: 21:49

I was fully unprepared for what it was, to the point where I brought my resume. I worked in sales, that's what I thought. It was like an interview, and so they start with and I was the last person in the room, so I was there all day, from eight until four, and I was the last person seeing all these dudes that were all college high school dropouts, that all were like, yes, we'll see you in New Mexico because that's where we were going to training. So everybody's high five. And I'm like, all right, this is going to be, this is my life now, right, and I go through the whole process. There's like three scenario questions, takes an hour, they ask follow-ups, it's, you know, dead silent, it's all these different things. And then they make you wait and they evaluate you. Well, apparently I was like really close to being like picked and then they come back out. We got one more scenario for you. We'll let you.

Speaker 2: 22:37

You know, give you another chance is what they said so I go in, do another chance, come back out another hour, wait just for them to decide and what's?

Speaker 1: 22:46

you can't talk about the scenario or I don't even remember.

Speaker 2: 22:49

I'm not allowed to talk about it but is it like a?

Speaker 1: 22:52

I mean, it's just like they. They give you a scenario and you have to like them what you would do.

Speaker 2: 22:56

Yeah, so there's like you have round up, it's not role playing, though right, You're not role playing a scenario Somewhat. Okay, so it's like to give you an idea. This isn't the scenario, but this is kind of what it felt like.

Speaker 1: 23:09

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:09

All right, you've gotten, you've rounded up all of these. They call them aliens this is the term they use, right, right Aliens. There's 15 of them and you're with your partner and you turn around and an alien jumps out of the bush with a gun and they look really, really mad. What do you do? I was like I killed a guy, obviously.

Speaker 1: 23:36

I killed a guy. That is killed a guy. That is the response.

Speaker 2: 23:41

Obviously that wasn't the right response, cause they were like huh, what do you mean you take? Okay, now you shot him, what do you do? I'm like I don't know. Isn't that what you guys are going to train me how to do? Like this is how it was going. It was not great.

Speaker 2: 23:57

And I feel like I'm a pretty charming guy. I was like I'm going to win them over. No, no, no, they did not like my answers. So I thought, oh, maybe the next scenario I can get it better. Nope, sure enough. I mean, it was just like this is the worst experience of my life.

Speaker 2: 24:05

So they go into this room. They're like this is a piece of paper, you have to sign it. I don't want to sign it. They're like you have to this. You're not allowed to talk about this experience, you're not allowed to blah, blah, blah. And I was like I'm not signing that. And they're like sir, by the order of the federal authorities you have, you are required to sign this. And I'm like this is bogus.

Speaker 2: 24:28

I was getting so mad and, uh, they get done where. They're like you can uh, reapply in two years, thank you. And I was like and I walk out and uh, well, thankfully I was the last person there, so it wasn't like all my boys are like all the my future boys are gonna be like hey, how'd it go? I'll be like it sucks, you know. So I get done with the whole thing. Long story, longer, no kind of full circle. Yeah, I was at this, uh, this tack event, which is a total archery challenge event with mountain ops. Yeah, and I was walking through and they had a, a CPB booth and these two border patrol guys and I told them what happened and how it played out and he goes that's the easiest part, like, once you get there, like you're a shoe in nobody, nobody messes that up. That's what they told me.

Speaker 2: 25:13

I said, well, this guy does, and they took a picture with me because they're like I can't wait to tell all my friends this guy couldn't even get through that stage. Anyway, there you go.

Speaker 1: 25:23

That's the best.

Speaker 2: 25:24

I don't know how that relates to anything. You're talking about like just kind of trusting God and like and making, making, going through the next door.

Speaker 1: 25:31

Yeah, and you know something that you, when you're talking about the decision you made, to like, hey, I'm gonna drink anything that somebody gives me on a marathon. No, like there is something, like there's a beautiful part of that which is like you went along for the ride yeah you said you know what I'm not. I'm not like because so many people in a situation like that want to control everything. Like control is a big part of, like elites and and extreme sports. Yeah, like we control every part of our diet and our you know, camp to wear the right shoes and I have to hide.

Speaker 1: 26:00

You know all this and I don't, and I don't, I gotta have my people out there because I don't trust anybody else to give me a cup of water or you know, like, just imagine the neuroses of some of the people that that are are, you know, functioning at the highest level doing those types of events. And I think there's a beauty to someone like yourself who says you know what, I'm, I'm going along for the ride, I'm going to run this race, I'm going to, I'm going to do the 20 to 26.2 miles, I'm going to drink whatever somebody gives me and I'm gonna, you know, I'm just gonna like kind of like trust god in a sense, and I think that's uh, you know, you know you're not going to get your you that way, but that's a different, you're choosing a different experience.

Speaker 2: 26:39

And I think that's you know, I think that's so much of like.

Speaker 1: 26:43

How we do life is how we choose to frame the challenges and the experiences we have. Like if your only goal with your child is to make sure they get to MIT or to Harvard with your child is to make sure they get to MIT or to Harvard Like, imagine the pressure and just the decision-making on a day-to-day basis that that leads to. Versus like. You know what I want to make sure my child is kind, thoughtful, like he's going to be a good husband or wife and has learned as much as possible. Like Anne has a great relationship with his parents. Like that's a totally different like meta concept of like how you're going to raise your kids than like got to get to MIT or else Right, and I think that's the big picture choices we make around. You know the things in life that matter fatherhood relationship, like with your wife. You know even just choosing not to go to Guatemala over like I got to see about a girl.

Speaker 1: 27:44

You know what I'm like, like that, that that is a statement of you know you're trusting something that came to you, like this woman came to you, your life, and you're like, hey, you know what I got to? I gotta see about this girl. I can't, I can't just cut that and go off and have a like a, you know, a six week adventure. Like that's not the right time for that.

Speaker 2: 28:08

Yeah, it would have been miserable. I would have not learned Spanish. Pretty sure it would have been the worst six weeks of my life not communicating. But I think that's a really good point. Because the question is would you change anything If what you know now and I think the answer for me too is no?

Speaker 1: 28:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 28:20

You know, like I wish I would have been more mature sometimes, but that just goes with the territory and I think it's it's similar to the marathon training piece or the fitness piece is the worst thing you can do is look back and go in regret. There's nothing wrong with looking back and see how far we've come, but the worst thing you can do, like I've described to you, is like I've just failed every single week, not fulfilling my plan and instead of just enjoying running again or enjoying the process of training, which is actually very enjoyable to think about, well, I got 24 weeks until Chicago, so every day I'm going to build on that and I I think it's just a great way to live life honestly. So that's a great point, man.

Speaker 1: 29:02

And I think you don't come to that without those, those failures, and like you, had to cultivate a way to, like you know, create whatever the thing you're going for, like you know somebody who's think about somebody who's like really, really driven or really really successful at just you know, hustle intelligence, like using your IQ to to like get you know to kind of achieve in life, is going to be really, really devoted in a sense to the achievement mindset. Yeah, if I just you know, lock in like this and, just you know, get discipline, I can do these things. And so it's like we're chasing this carrot. You know you get better and better at chasing it so you can put bigger and bigger goals out there. But that type of person never stops and says I'm just gonna run this marathon and just like you know, or just like I'm gonna have a conversation with every person that that I, that I, that I to you know, like imagine that marathon.

Speaker 1: 29:58

It's like hey, you know I'm going to run this marathon and I'm just going to take my pace. And anytime I come up to somebody and I run alongside them, I'm going to have a conversation with them, I'm going to find out where they're from. Like give three questions.

Speaker 2: 30:08

Right, and that's a good idea. I like that. And whether or not it it it that's a totally different, completely memorable experience than, like I'm going to crush everybody, you know, in this I mean. So I think that's which isn't going to happen. It's not going to happen, but I mean.

Speaker 1: 30:25

here's the thing. When I did my bodybuilding show, what is the question that everybody asked me oh, you do show, how'd you do? Yeah, and the question they have is did you win, did you get a medal? Are you, were you the best?

Speaker 2: 30:36

Are you a winner?

Speaker 1: 30:37

Right, are you a winner, and my answer is like I was so fucking lean.

Speaker 2: 30:42

I had no body fat. I looked amazing.

Speaker 1: 30:44

Because that was. I did everything right. I locked in. I never cheated on my diet. I did all the cardio I was supposed to do.

Speaker 2: 30:58

I never once said to my coach like hey, I didn't, I didn't do that, I did everything.

Speaker 1: 31:00

And so when I showed up, and I looked the way I looked, like that was the embodiment of my, of my discipline. Now you know, the next time I do a show will I do it slightly differently, although we've learned things. Sure, like um, but like I, I knew that I I showed up with my best and I showed up my best as a natural bodybuilder going to get a bunch of drugged up you know steroid people you know, so that was the other, so did you win?

Speaker 2: 31:25

so no, hey, I got a medal after every marathon. You do. They don't give you medals at participation trophies. I get it every time. But that's funny, that's cool man.

Speaker 1: 31:35

It was cool and my son and wife got to come see it. The show really happens in the daytime and then the night show is really when the people show up to cheer you on. So my son, I get him in the VIP section and I come out and I do my posy and my son's just cheering his dad on.

Speaker 2: 31:52

That's cool, I mean. Then your kid gets to see what hard work and determination and seeing a full circle I think I think is a valuable lesson, no matter if you win or lose or you know those types of things. So I think that's a really awesome way to look at it, yeah, but uh, that's a good perspective, man, I appreciate that I, yeah, I think we.

Speaker 1: 32:10

It's easy to see our, our perspective as a, as an inferior perspective, but it's life experience that teaches us that, like so often, the one that gets the most accolades, you know, oh, the guy that ran, you know, a sub two, two hour marathon, like there are a few right there, I was like two, I think two in the world? Yeah, I think there's but one of them, their last. I think there's but one of them.

Speaker 2: 32:37

Their last name has Kip. Yeah, one of them was done a little bit more controlled environment though in an actual race.

Speaker 1: 32:42

Yeah, okay, wow.

Speaker 2: 32:44

Two-hour marathon yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:45

So I mean, but even like an under three sub-three-hour marathon, like you know, that's a cool goal to go for. A lot of people have done it. It takes a lot of discipline to do it, great. Hey, that's a cool story. That's going to like get a lot of people impressed, right, but what is your way, what is you know, as a listener here, like finding our authentic? Way to do something that like resonates with who we are not like. Who am I going to get validation from other people?

Speaker 2: 33:17

It's always a question that we need to ask I think that's the hardest piece to come to grips with too is, if I get nothing from others, am I okay with who I am? Am I okay with what I've achieved? That's been the hardest thing for me, because I desperately want the affection and love of others, and so, I think, focusing and understanding why I do what I do and why a person does what they do, and that being the win, not did I win something, did I get my participation trophy?

Speaker 2: 33:48

or even if I failed, you know, like I didn't don't fail, but if I did, like that application is so, so important. I love that, yeah, and I think that's just the so important.

Speaker 1: 33:57

I love that, yeah, and I think that's just the. You know that's also part of you. Know this age, right, 39, like you're like if you're 21 and you're one of the fastest people in the world, no one's telling you not to go for the Olympics or trying to like hey, if you're, if you're a 25 year old bodybuilder, genetics, all that kind of stuff. Like like, go for it, like be the greatest in the world, like there's. There is a moment in time where you have you actually have the opportunity in whatever sport or just when you you're doing, especially in athletics. You know that's why you're like everyone's like oh my god, lebron, he's 39, he's still doing it 21 years in.

Speaker 1: 34:35

You know, know, because yeah, there's a finite amount of talent that LeBron is going to be able to be LeBron Right.

Speaker 2: 34:40

And then it's growing up 30s man. That's crazy.

Speaker 1: 34:43

But, but. So yeah, that's. That's the era of our life where it's like you know, shoot for the stars right. Cause, like your body is is like giving you the green light, but it's, you know, 39 to 50 I mean that's kind of the year of 39, right, I'm 49. So it's like this age range is like, what do I want to do? Yeah, I'm not going to be the fastest in the world, I'm not going to be the. I mean, but what? What's the story that I want my kids to remember about me?

Speaker 1: 35:10

or that or the, the legacy that that I created in this. This is a very important 10-year, you know period. Yeah, you know, I I tell I talk to people about this like this is the time when you'd be a king, you know, like 10 a thousand years ago, like you know. First of all, we didn't live very long you died.

Speaker 2: 35:29

This would be about right. You died at 52 from some like from skinning your knee on a branch and getting infected.

Speaker 1: 35:37

You didn't have any antibiotics. But yeah, 40 to 50 is when you have the experience to lead others, but you also have the strength still to lead others in battle. That's great. I love that.

Speaker 2: 35:54

Yeah, I mean capitalizing on now and not making's. You know that's great. I love that. Yeah, I mean capitalizing on now and not making excuses. I think that's important, so I love that.

Speaker 1: 36:01

Clarity on who you are, what's your unique, you know like goal with this and then doing the best you can do to be and to achieve what you want, but make sure it's what you want.

Speaker 2: 36:14

Yeah, and not just like that. That's probably the hardest part, right?

Speaker 1: 36:17

yeah well, and and for you, I mean, look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna brag for you like you're hanging out with some badass motherfuckers, right? Like I mean cam haynes, these guys, I mean we throw out goggins, but you've actually hung out goggins a little bit, so like it's easy to want to impress those guys, like you know, if you had a cool story that you could tell cam about, like you know, that would be cool, right, like that's that.

Speaker 1: 36:40

You know, so you. So it's a little when you're in a, when your bubble is a little smaller yeah it's easy to be the cool guy on the block that actually runs marathons, because all your friends are fat and don't do shit right.

Speaker 2: 36:49

I could never do that.

Speaker 1: 36:51

I could never do that I hear the same thing with a bodybuilding show. Oh my God, how do you do that? Like I don't have the discipline.

Speaker 2: 36:57

I mean. The truth is, though, I think it's just like um. What you're talking about, though, is these guys are elite for a reason. These guys push themselves for a reason, and they're ultimately doing it for themselves. Yeah, they're not doing it Now. They have fame, now they have these things Like. That's what I love about cam is he was doing this 30 years ago, and nobody cared about him, right when people would be like it must be nice. That's where that whole slogan came from, but when you actually have the opportunity to see what they're capable of and doing, it's just like going to any elite like CrossFit games or CG games or anything like that. Then you see what, like you are.

Speaker 2: 37:32

You got a lot of work to do, and I think that's good perspective, too. Is these people in my life challenge me to do things? Hey, you can push yourself a little harder. This isn't as hard as you think it is, and it's a good example. I think that's universal, especially as a parent like. That is universal. You can push yourself harder than you think you can. And, uh, and you don't have to be a savage. I'm I feel like I'm a part-time savage. Sometimes I'm really, really savagy. Sometimes I just want to be home and drink beer. So I think ultimately it's finding that balance of where you're at, because these people that are elite, they're elite for a reason. So ultimately I would rather be in the middle and be able to have time for my family Not that they don't, but typically you can only pick like two or three things. You can't usually pick all five and have a good time and have a good life because you're going to be struggling. But I appreciate it. Bart, I enjoy these conversations.

Speaker 2: 38:28

I think the takeaway is clear. The takeaway for anybody listening and experiencing this is there's more that you can do. There's no reason for you to look back and regret. I think living in the moment and doing things the way that you know they need to be done for yourself, not for anybody else that changed my whole perspective. I knew that in 20.

Speaker 1: 38:50

And I think that's where regret comes from is when you put a lot of effort and energy into something that didn't actually like fill your cup.

Speaker 2: 38:58

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:58

Like you were doing it for somebody else or you were trying to make somebody else happy.

Speaker 2: 39:01

Yeah, and then you resentful of that person too. I mean, it's just like classic marriages, right? Your parents told you if you didn't become this? Yeah, you married the wrong woman, like all those things.

Speaker 1: 39:09

Like you know, it's just it. It's always about you didn't actually sit and think like what do I want?

Speaker 2: 39:17

Yeah, right, because that's inspiring.

Speaker 1: 39:19

Like you talk about Cam, like you know, he didn't do this for anybody else, he did it for him. And then, finally, enough, people told his story, and then Rogan talked about him.

Speaker 2: 39:29

I mean people inspired. I mean that's what inspired me was Cam. You know, that's what got me running was honestly him, so I love that.

Speaker 1: 39:36

Um, let's wrap up here.

Speaker 2: 39:38

Yeah, I do I appreciate it, man, I think I think understanding and trusting the process yeah and what you kind of talked to me about figuring out what I want is going to be key to it all and I appreciate those words and I think in general this you know, send this podcast to your, uh, your running coach.

Speaker 1: 39:54

So no, no, absolutely not. And he's like damn what the hell.

Speaker 2: 39:58

I'm like deleted, deleted for sure. I appreciate it, man. All right, let's have a good week. Thanks for listening, everybody, yep.