Am I Praying Right? – Rural Reset 5/21 [7]

Host: TJ Freeman

Summary: In this episode of 'Back to Rurality,' TJ Freeman discusses the common confusions and questions people have about prayer, addressing both theological and practical aspects. He emphasizes the importance of prayer for Christians, especially those in rural areas, and provides foundational insights into why and how to pray effectively.

Key Points:

• Common Struggles with Prayer: Many might get distracted while praying, or not even know what to pray for. 
•  Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God for things agreeable to his will in the name of Christ.
• Prayer is how one can communicate with God or fellowship with Him, which allows their relationship with the Lord to grow.

Listener Takeaways:

• Pray before you read the Bible and pray through a book in the Bible. 
• Minimize all possible distraction when coming to the Lord in prayer. One helpful way to do this is to walk in nature and pray!
• Use the "ACTS" method of prayer. Bring your adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication to the Lord in prayer. 

Connect with Us:

• Website: backtorurality.com
• Social Media: Facebook

Transcript

Have you ever been confused about prayer? You know it's important, but in the back of your mind, you just kind of wish you understood it better, or you felt like you wished you were better at it. Maybe some of your questions are theological. You just don't really know, why am I supposed to pray? I mean, if God is sovereign over everything, does prayer really change his mind?

Some of your questions might be more practical. Is there a certain way I'm supposed to pray? Is there a pattern? Is there a certain time of day? Does it have to be out loud? Is it something I can do in my head? Or, why do I get so distracted when I pray? Sometimes I even fall asleep. What should I pray for?

Am I praying for myself? Am I praying for somebody else? Does it really matter? Why does it seem like sometimes when I pray, it's just my own thoughts? My prayers don't really seem to go anywhere, and by the way, a lot of my prayers seem to go unanswered. Well, if you have questions about prayer, you're in good company and you picked a good episode of Back to Morality because today we're talking about prayer.

Well, hi, my name is TJ Freeman. And like you, I live in the middle of nowhere. I don't mean that in a negative way. It's just the reality. Most people don't know about my town. And if you're listening to this, there's a good chance.

Most people don't know about your town either yet. God's sent you out there for something. He's got you out there in the middle of nowhere. And for a long time. I really misunderstood that. I thought of bigger places as more convenient, maybe even a little more valuable. And I missed the fact that. God has us out here to do a kind of work that is really valuable.

You know, if you're a rural person, you're in a minority. If you live in the United States, less than 20 percent of your fellow Americans share your rurality. And the crazy thing is we're super spread out that 20 percent or less of Americans have to cover 97 percent of the land mass. 

 So if we're talking about needing to represent Christ to the ends of the earth, 20 percent of the people are filling up 97 percent of the landmass. That's really significant to think of it in the reverse.

 80 percent of the people are squeezed into 3 percent of the landmass. And then think about the fact that as Christians, we have a special responsibility to make Christ known through our participation in the life of the local church. And if the stats are true, only like 4 percent of Americans have a biblical worldview.

So that means 4%, even out of that 20%, are really actively trying to make Christ known out here. We just have a lot of work to do out here in the middle of nowhere. And, and I don't personally like the idea of, Hey, just call it the middle of somewhere. And I've had some dear friends say that to me, some of whom might even be listening to this.

So I love you. If you've said that to me, here's why I don't like it though. I don't think a place has. It's maximum value apart from God Glorifying himself in the way that he has decided in that place. Let me break that down a little bit God has said that the most potent display of his glory What shows off his manifold wisdom in a way that gets out of this world goes to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places According to Paul in Ephesians 3 happens through the church.

So a healthy church In the middle of nowhere. That's what makes it the middle of somewhere. Really. It's this display of God's glory that, that leaves that place or transcends that place to make a really big statement about God that gives it. An extra special value. And I think it's okay to recognize that the middle of nowhere is kind of the object of scorn to some, or just the object of neglect to others.

Most people aren't thinking about those communities, except for the people who live there. I think, you should think about that is okay. I play a role in making this place somewhere. for the glory of God as a Christian who lives out here. That's not why you clicked on this episode, though. You want to talk about prayer, which is really important to exactly the topic that I've just suggested.

You making the town you live in the middle of somewhere has at least something to do with you as a faithful Christian, doing what God has called you to do, praying to him for his glory and for the good of his people. Out there in the middle of nowhere, you have a responsibility to pray, which is probably not why you clicked on this, right?

You're more wondering how can I pray better? What is prayer all about? You might even be asking the question in the title of the episode, am I praying right? So here's what I've done. I've just taken 21 topics that are kind of the essentials to the faith. They're, they're basics. I'm calling these 21 episodes rural reset.

It's kind of like a mini course that you can take through this podcast just to help you think about how can I get back to the basics of being a faithful Christian so that I can be used by God to the fullest in the place that I live and work. way out here in the middle of nowhere, thereby making it the middle of somewhere.

So my goal for you by the end of this episode is for you to get into the habit of praying God, glorifying life, giving faithful prayers, whether you just can't remember the last time you prayed. You've struggled to know how to pray well, or you think, I think I'm doing okay, I'd just like to know a little more about the topic.

 I'd like to have you be in the regular habit of praying God glorifying, life giving, faithful prayers, because that is what our Lord has called us to. And I have struggled with this in my own life. There have been many questions I had, like when I was a new believer. And I just didn't understand what prayer was all about.

And somebody told me that if I really believed something enough by faith, that God would just almost be like obligated to answer that prayer. And so I would pray for things like, like, oh, this is a little embarrassing to admit. Like when I was out in the woods and I was sitting there in my bright orange Outfit with a rifle across my lap with nothing but squirrels munching on acorns around me praying That the Lord would send me a deer.

And of course, not just any deer. I needed the biggest deer. Well, no, I think I knew enough to say it doesn't have to be the biggest deer in the woods. But if like a nice buck came out, that would be great. And thinking the reason the buck's not coming out in response to my prayer is because I must not be believing it enough.

What a tyrannical view of prayer. But that was just something that somebody taught me and I was just confused and I didn't understand. What that was all about. There are other times where I've had those thoughts that you have, you know, is God really listening right now? It doesn't seem like he's answering my prayer.

I don't feel like my prayers are really going anywhere Just seems like this thought i'm having in my head Or like they're bouncing off the ceiling And I've just failed, I think, really, to understand the bigger question, what is prayer? And I like the definition that is in the Westminster Shorter Catechism.

If you haven't heard of that document, don't worry. You can look it up later. But it's a historic document, detailing some of the most fundamental doctrines of our faith. And here's what they said about the doctrine of prayer. Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God for things agreeable to his will in the name of Christ.

With confession of our sins and thankful acknowledgment of his mercies. I think that's really helpful It's an offering up of our desires to God for things agreeable to his will So that's kind of how God talks about prayer in the Bible is making your requests known to the Lord But also understanding that as we delight ourself in the Lord our desires do become consistent with his will So we need to be praying things that we know you are agreeable to his will.

And the Bible actually says a lot about the things that are agreeable to his will and how our desires work together with those things. Our prayers are also in the name of Christ as scripture instructs. They include the confession of our sins and thankful acknowledgement of his mercies. So that's a pretty good framework just to think about what prayer is.

And you can learn a lot about it by Just by studying scripture. That's where this little statement really is taken from. You also could read some books on the topic. I'll share some at the end of this. There's some really helpful articles online as well. And I don't really mean to spend a lot of time explaining what prayer is here.

I think you can find lots of resources there. But I do think there are some things that maybe you should have in your mind. that as you go about praying and even thinking about how you can pray more faithfully, these are some things that you just want to think about. And I'm just going to walk through a few items here real quick.

The first thing to think about is that you want your prayers to glorify God. My favorite verse, in fact, we have this verse on a license plate on the front of our minivan. Yes, I am that guy. I'm the guy who puts a license plate on the front of his minivan. And it has a Bible verse on there. It's 31 and I learned it at camp years ago.

Actually right around the time I became a Christian. It says whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God. So, of course your prayer needs to be to the glory of God, not just for the fulfillment of your desires, it's about the glory of God through the fulfillment of your desires that are in accordance to His will. So think about praying in the glory of God or for the glory of God.

Actually, in John 14, 13, the Lord says, I will do whatever you ask in my name so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. So that first part, I'll do whatever you ask in my name, that's the part I got a little hung up on. But you can see that it needs to be connected right away to the glory of God.

In fact, the prayers that God answers are a means through which He glorifies Himself. The second thing you should have in your mind as you pray is that You're doing it in response to what God has told you to do. So asking the question, why pray? Does it do anything?

That question is irrelevant. I understand the question because if God is sovereign and he's unchanging and all these things, you know, what does your prayer do? Hey, forget about that question. Part of the means. That God ordained for His will to be accomplished is your prayer. And He's commanded you to do it.

1 Thessalonians 5, 17, for example, tells us to pray continually. So it's a, it's a command from the Lord, but it's more than that. So you shouldn't get into this mode of, Okay, well, if God commanded me to pray, I'm going to schedule 15 minutes a day, and I'm going to say these words and repeat them back and be done.

It's not like that. Prayer isn't just, an obligation that you have. It's the way that you communicate with the Lord. I was thinking earlier today about how much I enjoy communicating with my wife. I have known her for the majority of my life at this point. We met when I was 16 years old and we've just been together.

We're high school sweethearts. And I really like being able to communicate with her. I don't like it. If there's ever tension there where our communication feels off or when I don't have access to talk to her, those things make me feel like something's wrong. And the same thing should be true in our relationship with the Lord who fulfills us.

and sustains us in a way that no human relationship can parallel. God made us to find our all in him, our satisfaction, our delight, our comfort, our hope, our worship. It's all rooted in this relationship that we have with him.

And a significant part of that relationship is our free ability through Christ and the power of His Spirit to communicate to God our Father who made us for that very relationship. A lot of it comes from hearing from God through His Word, but a lot of it, it plays out as we communicate back to God according to His Word.

There are so many ways that we. communicate with the Lord that brings refreshment to our soul and being in fellowship with him, communicating like this, it is the joy of a Christian. So let me just encourage you, if you don't have any desire to pray, If you just can't do it, if it's not an instinct that you're beginning to notice to turn to the Lord in prayer, you should just really ask yourself, what do I understand salvation to be?

I actually recorded in this Rural Reset an episode on assurance of salvation. It's the second one in the Rural Reset series. So you could go back and listen to that. If you want to think a little bit about, am I sure I really have this relationship with the Lord, but you don't panic in seasons that are drier or where this doesn't come as naturally.

That's true in any relationship. Communication can be a struggle at times, but you should, as a Christian, have a growing desire to communicate with the Lord, to be in fellowship with Him. That's what this is all about. Loving God is like the most basic element of our faith. I think it's the most significant demonstration of our faith and just something that grows within us as Christians.

We also pray because we know that our Lord prayed. There are times where Jesus would leave the crowds and just go labor in prayer. There are times where he would be in the garden, for example, where he was facing crucifixion. He was face He was about to be arrested. He knew that his time had come. He Went and prayed himself, but he also asked his friends to be praying for him at that time Which they failed at epically in the moment But praying because of the example of our Lord praying because we see in Scripture from the earliest believers all the way through the end of the New Testament prayer is a mark of Those who have trusted in the Lord and the promises of God who is faithful So, we see that example there.

We also pray with a desire to see results. And that's one of the things that can feel a little awkward. It can feel self serving. Yet we should understand God wants to hear these things from us. And we should think about the condition of our heart as we pray for things.

We don't want to demand that the Lord do what we ask or be in a position where we say, Lord, if you don't do this, I'm going to assume you're unfaithful or that I've misunderstood your love for me. And it's not what I thought it was. There's all kinds of questions that could pop into your head that way.

We don't, we don't want to pray with a list of demands. We want to have a posture that says, thy will be done, whatever that is. Yet God does want us to ask for the things that are on our heart. So you should pray like for the salvation of your children. For example, that seems like something that would glorify God to do.

Before you go into the doctor's appointment, you should pray that the Lord will give the doctor wisdom and that you'll have a clean bill of health when you walk out of that place before you eat. it's good to pray that the Lord will bless the meal. That's not like some little habit that you do just ritualistically.

We really want God's blessing on those things. We want to see results in our lives and we want to be effective for the sake of the gospel. We want to glorify God in everything that we do. And so we should bathe all the things we're doing in prayer, knowing that God in his kindness uses those prayers as part of the means through which he exercises his will.

Hopefully part of the reason you're listening to this series so that you can grow spiritually You want to become more like Christ and you should regularly be praying that the Lord will help you to see areas where you're falling short That'll help you to grow that he'll give you a desire to grow the strength to do it all of those kinds of things So those are just some of the things to think about I think I went through, what, seven or eight things there just real quick that are good things to help you process what praying is like.

Now, I'm going to give you something that hopefully is helpful, which is just a little bit of a framework for how you can pray. How you can get more prayer into your life, become more faithful in the way that you pray And the frequency of your prayer.

So here are my suggestions. First, as you sit down to read through like the book of Ephesians or the book of Proverbs, like we talked about in the last episode, you can just start with Lord, would you please help me to understand your word? You put it in here. You put it in here for a reason. It was written to somebody other than me directly, but it was written with me in mind.

So would you help me to just process it how you want me to, and to take from it what you want me to take? To see the truth in it? To believe it. These, these are the kinds of things that you can pray, and then as you work through a passage, you're just praying as you go. So, some examples of that, I'll take Ephesians one here as an example and just how you can pray through something like this.

So it starts off with this greeting from Paul, and then Paul says, grace to you and peace from God, our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. You could say to the Lord, Lord, as I read this. Would you show me the kind of grace that Paul wanted for the Ephesian church? And would you help me to have peace in my life?

Would you help me to, to see the fruit of the Spirit, peace being part of it, to grow in me so that I can be a demonstration of the peace that you've given to me, to others, so that they could turn to Christ? These are some, Real basic things that you can just pray, and you're just walking through the scripture.

So Paul goes on to say blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. So Paul is, is blessing the Lord or praising the Lord here. What does that tell you you should do? I want to praise the Lord too. Lord, I do praise you. Lord, you have blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, and, and God, I don't even think I know the full extent of what that means, but I know it's true.

I know you've given me everything I need, so please help me to cling to that truth, and, I just praise you that you've promised it's true. Verse four, even as he chose this in him before the foundation of the world. Wow, that's huge. Just stop and think about what that means for a second. And then just praise the Lord.

 I don't know why you chose to save my soul. It's certainly not because I'm lovely enough or good enough, or you could look at me and say, he's going to do awesome things. I'm going to save him. It was nothing like that. I didn't deserve this at all, but you've saved me and you've made me blameless before you.

And you did it because you love me, which I don't, I don't get. Why would you choose to love me, Lord? Well, thank you that you did. So, you know, we're five verses into Ephesians. We're learning here just an example of what it's like to pray in a way that's very consistent with the Word. And what have you done during this?

You've glorified the Lord through your prayer, and you've asked him for help, hoping to see some results in this thing. You want to be transformed. By your reading of the word here, as your mind is renewed with what the Bible says, instead of what your brain would naturally think. So I think you should pray the word really regularly.

And that's, I don't want to say easy, but it's a step that is fairly simple to take as you add in more prayer into your life. Just bathe your Bible reading time in prayer. Something else you need to figure out where you can pray that is least distracting. We're all easily distracted. I think anybody could pretty much be tested and, and the results would come back.

You have ADD or ADHD. And we live in a world where distraction is normal and praying is a difficult endeavor. Can I use that word? It's a difficult endeavor as proven by the sleepiness of the disciples in the garden. They struggled and they didn't even have minds that were dulled by scrolling through Facebook.

They just struggled because of their circumstances. We struggle because of ours. Praying is not always easy. And part of the reason is our distraction. So what is it? What is the the thing you can do that will help you not be distracted? Is it going into a room and actually being on your knees and praying there?

That helps me sometimes. You Is it walking? This is the best one for me. If I can go on a walk somewhere where there are no other humans, like out in the woods and pray out loud, that is the time that I am most engaged. mentally and emotionally in my prayer. So maybe walking and praying is something that will work for you.

I've talked to some people who drive, they just get in the car, they start driving and they're just praying as they drive. Something else that's helped me a lot is journaling while I pray. If I can write down in my, in my journal, the thoughts that are on my heart, I don't get distracted. It takes longer.

I'm thinking about it more carefully. And I just use that as an opportunity to pray as I write these things out to the Lord. You might find it helpful to work through a mental checklist. There was a season in my life where I really needed to do this. And I used the one called Axe, A C T S, not A X E, even though it's rural.

It's not the kind of axe I'm talking about, nor the body spray that Junior hires. Puff all over themselves. Do they still do that? I don't know. I'm talking about acts as an acronym ACTS and the the words associated with those letters are adoration confession Thanksgiving and supplication So adoration just adoring the Lord praising him kind of like what Paul does at the beginning of Ephesians Think about some things in your life that are praiseworthy that the you know Our blessings from the Lord if you're struggling Think about the fact that your heart's beating right now and you're not even trying.

That your, your lungs are filling up with air that the Lord has provided. And you weren't even thinking about that process until I just drew attention to it. You know, the Lord has, has, has blessed us with so many things. From oxygen to blood pumping through our bodies to all the major blessings in our life.

Food, you know, God could have made food just to be, well, manna. We could have just had some staple food that that's what we eat, but he's given us so much more, look at the richness of variety that he's provided and taste buds to enjoy it unless you have COVID. God has blessed you so much praise him for those kinds of things.

That's, that's part of the adoration, you know, I'm blending it a little bit, and that's, this is okay. This might even be a question that you would have had, so I'm sort of glad that I did that right there. Adoration is rooted in the goodness of God, the otherness of God, like His holiness. You're adoring Him for who He is and what He's done.

So, Lord, You are to be praised for this. I honor you because I exalt you. Don't be afraid of those kinds of words. The Bible uses those words all the time. Magnify, lift up. You want to make God the most amazing thing to be beheld by you and anybody else who might hear you talk about him.

You're praising him because he's worthy of it. That's the adoration part. Then you get to the. C, the confession. And I do tend to think this should come early in our prayer time. I don't want to make a law where there's no law, but getting your relationship with the Lord right by asking him to forgive any sins you you can think of that would stand between you and him relationally in that time is important.

If you knew that you had wronged your earthly father or some family member, And there was some distance between you because of something that you'd done that they didn't want you to do or ask you not to do, something like that. You don't just sit down and just start shooting the breeze after that. And I don't mean to cheapen prayer to sound like shooting the breeze, but just stick with me for the illustration.

You would say to them, Hey, listen, I'm sorry for the way I fill in the blank with whatever you did wrong. Will you please forgive me? And I think as you start your prayer, it's, it's good to adore the Lord. And then I think it's helpful often to move next to confession where you say, Lord, you, saw the way I, whatever you did.

And I, I know that that doesn't please you. And I'm sorry that I did that. Thank you that I'm forgiven in Christ. Would you forgive the way I did this? don't get all freaked out about, am I forgiven once and I don't need to ask for forgiveness again, whatever you're in a relationship with the Lord. If you do wrong.

I think it's fine to say not only I'm sorry, but will you forgive me? And you can trust in Christ that you are fully forgiven for all of your sin. But relationally, this is just a healthy, helpful way to be restored and to own the fact that you've done some things wrong and you don't want to do that and you want to be pleasing to the Lord.

Then you move on to Thanksgiving. This is the one I blurred a little bit with adoration, but to just say, thank you, Lord, for the way that you have provided and met all of my needs. You've been so good to me. And I want to thank you for this moment I had earlier today, where I connected with my kid in a way that I hadn't connected with them in a while.

And, I don't want to I want to for the way that. You answered my prayer to, to restore my relationship with my aunt, the way that you provided for me financially, I wasn't sure how I was going to pay that bill and Lord, you, you provided it. So I thank you for that. Just walk through whatever you can think of to thank the Lord, spend some time doing that.

And then supplication. That's a fancy pants word, isn't it? It means asking for things, asking for things for you, really also asking for things for others. So I have another list. Sometimes this list is on paper. Sometimes it lives in my brain and I try to go down through and, and pray specifically for other people.

One group that I pray, well, the group I pray most for is my family. Right after that would be probably the elders of our church and, and our church members. And I'm thinking of specific needs or things that I just know. Would be in line with what the Lord desires for a person or a group of people and I'll ask for those things I'll make those requests known to the Lord as I make my own So that's a little bit more of a formal way to pray is praying through this acronym ACTS A C T S I think it might be a helpful way to cover a lot of bases that you just wouldn't naturally cover if you're just You know one off little moments of prayer which leads to another question Do you set a certain time apart or do you just try to pray throughout the day?

You know what the answer to that question is Yep, both. I think it's really good to set certain times aside, times when you're doing what maybe we'd call a quiet time, when you're praying and being in the word. It's helpful to do that in the morning. I also think you need to do something to help yourself develop the reflex to pray.

In a way that the Bible talks about is unceasingly. That doesn't mean you pick up the phone, dial, and don't hang up until you die. You never say amen until, you know, they're standing over you saying, I don't think you're gonna make it. No, you, you pray just all the time as kind of a reflex. 

So, this is something that takes some time to develop, and I would encourage you to do something that helps you to develop it. If you're married. Put your wedding ring on the other hand for a day. And every time you notice my ring's gone or what's my ring doing over there, you say, Oh, that's my reminder to pray.

And you just take a few seconds and pray for whatever's on your mind at the moment. You could also, if you don't, if you're not married, you could wear like your watch on the other wrist, where one of those rubber band bracelet things, maybe on the opposite hand of what you normally would. Put a little mark on the back of your hand with pen and you see it and you're like, Oh, why is that there?

Oh, yes, because I'm supposed to pray. The bible has a way to help you do this too called fasting and whenever you notice you're hungry That's a good reminder to pray. So do something that gets you in the habit of regularly just praying these sort of short prayers with whatever you're facing. Thank you, Lord, that I got to work safely today.

Please help me as I go into this meeting to glorify you. Then you're in the meeting, like, Okay, Lord, I don't know how to answer this question. Would you just give me the wisdom to know what to say? Praying for opportunities to witness, stuff like that. And then always praising the Lord. Praise the Lord for the sunset.

Don't just look at it. Looking at it and being in awe is an act of worship because God made that. So you would be like, wow, that's amazing. So that you'd say, wow, he's amazing, the one who made it. So take a time to just say, thank you, Lord, for that beautiful sunset. You are the maker of everything great.

And I praise you for that. Thank him for, you know, sweet conversations you have with people. Thank him for the provision for your family. Thank him for hard things. The trial you walked through, because James said to count those joy, because they lead to steadfastness. The Bible talks about an everything.

So, praise the Lord for those things. Hey, I promised you some resources. I'm going to give those to you right now. One is a book I read a long time ago that really helped me. It's called A Praying Life by Paul Miller. I think that's just a really accessible, really useful book on prayer. Start with that one.

And there's another one that you could use devotionally. That has a lot of confession in it, and I think it's really helpful for that. It's called the Valley of Vision, and it's an old Puritan prayer book, Valley of Vision. That one would really encourage you. I would get that, pick it up, wade through that every now and then.

And one of the most helpful online places I've found for articles about prayer is is Ligonier. I think it's Ligonier. org. And you can go over there and just put in the search bar, anything about prayer, or you could Google the words Ligonier and prayer together. So yeah, L I G O N I E R. org. And you'll find lots of helpful stuff there.

And if I can do anything to serve you as you learn how to pray more faithfully, just reach out, go to backtoreality. com. In fact, would you go over there anyway? Just go to back to morality. com, enter your email address. We would love to get to know you and to grow together as we try to make Christ known in the middle of nowhere so that it becomes for his glory, the middle of somewhere.

Thanks for listening to this episode. If it serves you well, go back and listen to the earlier episodes in this rural reset series. And if you would subscribe to this and then leave a rating and review in your podcast app, That will help us get the word out. This podcast can go places. We can't for the glory of God in the middle of nowhere.

We'll see you next time. As we get back to life, back to reality.