Feel Like You’re Losing Control? [25]

Host: TJ Freeman

Summary: In this episode of Back to Rurality, host TJ Freeman, a rural pastor, delves into dealing with life's hardest challenges, from severe diagnoses to financial struggles. Sharing personal stories and biblical insights, TJ discusses practical ways to trust God and maintain hope when everything feels like it's falling apart. Through prayer, seeking God's perspective, and anchoring hope in His faithfulness, he offers listeners a spiritual toolkit to navigate tough situations.

Key Points:

• Overcoming Overthinking and Negative Thoughts: We have a tendency when we're struggling with various challenges to allow our minds to get stuck in an unhelpful thought cycle. Philippians 4:8 reminds us that in these incredible difficult moments we need to focus our minds on the good and be thankful. 
• Overcoming Isolation: Another natural response to hardships can be isolation. We can often try to tough it out, or solve our own problems. The purpose of the Church is to support and encourage each other. Resist this common urge and seek help! 
• Overcoming Control: When a situation pops up that is outside of our plans, it is often a reminder that we are not actually in control. That can be scary and then we can be tempted to grasp around to control everything around us! Remember that this will not help us. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us that we are helped most when we place our trust in God, not ourselves.

Listener Takeaways:

• Meditate on the Scriptures mentioned in this episode. 
• Pray honestly, transparently, and with thanksgiving. 
• Seek God's perspective. He is good, in control, and has a plan beyond what we can see in our current circumstances.
• Anchor your hope. Like David in Psalm 42, remember God is with you and you can put your hope in him alone. 
  
  

Connect with Us:

• Website: backtorurality.com
• Social Media: Facebook

Transcript

What do you do when your worst fears come true? When the diagnosis comes back and it's bad. When the boss comes in and you're fired. When the relationship falls apart or when the loved one dies, how do you deal with moments like that? How do you resist the natural temptation to worry and to and fret and be frustrated in those moments.

It's one thing to talk about trusting God when things are going well, but what about when life takes a sharp turn in a bad direction? Today, we're going to look at how to hold on to hope and to resist worry, especially when everything seems to be crashing down around you.

Well, hello, I'm TJ Freeman and I'm your host for this podcast.

I'm also a rural pastor and I understand what it looks like to worry. When it seems like everything is falling apart around you. Whether it's a financial hardship. Some illness, an issue with a relationship, a loss. We can all relate to feelings of frustration and worry and fear and today we're going to just explore what the Bible says about trusting God in the middle of really bad circumstances.

This is kind of like the other side of the coin from last week's episode. If you missed that, we were talking about how God helps us with the what is, not with the what ifs. How his grace in the moment is what we need to rely on. This is really a continuation of that, but it's also a recognition that in fact, sometimes things really do go bad from a human standpoint.

And it's not just like when God gets us out of a tough spot or how God helps us through not worrying about what might be that matters most. It also matters to trust God when things actually seem to be falling down all around you.

I had a season like this in my life once that still sticks out in my mind. I was struggling with a lot of things. Number one, I was struggling with my job. Finances were tight. I was a school teacher. Loved teaching school, but I was really wrestling with what seemed like a desire to be in full time vocational ministry.

I was aspiring to that, you might say. I was feeling drawn to go in a different direction with my vocation. But also the nest was getting a little more uncomfortable where I was. And I think sometimes the Lord does that.

He allows the nest to get uncomfortable while building desires. That was happening in my heart and I wasn't handling it the best. I was beginning to feel frustrated, discouraged, doing things that previously I just found a lot of joy in, like teaching social studies. Also, I was living in a trailer, fairly newly married.

What am I talking about? That was super newly married. And, no problem living in the trailer, that's fine. But our trailer, Had water pipes that did not like winter almost as much as I don't like winter. And they would freeze all the time, no matter what I did, they would freeze up. And so I would have to go outside all the time with a hairdryer and get under there in my snowmobile suit, holding that hairdryer on those pipes until finally the ice broke free.

The pipes thawed out and we could, I don't know, drink water and shower again. During that season, the engine on my used pickup truck blew. And we didn't really have the money to get it fixed. It was just like, one of those times in life where a lot of things kind of go wrong. And even things that aren't going wrong feel heavier than normal.

It was just happening all at one time. I started to give into some of the pressures that happen when we get in tough situations. And honestly, I'd love to be able to tell you, and here's how I handled it. And this is how I got through it. I handled it poorly, just to be totally honest with you. I handled it really poorly.

And as I think back on that time, I see a lot of areas where I should have Handle things differently and where really I've needed to repent of the way that I was thinking and therefore the way I was living. Some common issues come up when we face situations that are especially difficult in life. That was kind of a combo I shared with you.

You may have experienced a sudden trauma, or you may have had the buildup of things over a lifetime. Could even be that something from your childhood is nagging you to this day, and you're just not sure how to deal with it. And there are some commonalities that I've noticed in In myself and in others as we walk through times like that.

Number one is we tend to overthink things. I don't know about you, but I can just let my mind replay the negative parts. over and over again, without doing what we're told to do in Philippians 4.

Verse 8 says, Finally, brothers, whatever's true, whatever's honorable, Whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable. If there's anything excellent, anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

When we have a major setback in life, a problem, a season that's especially uncomfortable, it's difficult to apply this verse, but be reminded that this verse is no less true. And no less commanded when you're going through tough times than when you're going through easy times. So we should always be thinking about the positive side of things, not in some wishy washy, like there's going to be a pot at the end of this rainbow or every cloud has a silver lining.

It's not platitudes. It's no, there's some good in this that I can find. Whatever the hardship is, whatever the challenge or the struggle, you need to look for those things that are good And actually think about them. Choose to think about those things rather than the negative things that you're dealing with.

Another thing that we often do, at least I can do, is isolate. Meaning not necessarily that you're not around people, although that might be true of you, but meaning you, you try to solve your problems alone. You don't tell other people about them. Maybe you grumble to a spouse or someone like that about them, but you're not necessarily seeking wisdom from a multitude of counselors, like the Bible would say. In fact, in Galatians 6, the Apostle Paul tells the church that they have a responsibility to bear one another's burdens.

You can't bear one another's burdens, if you're not honest with each other about the kinds of things that you're going through. So living in a rural community, you might not have access to a lot of people in the church, and you might not have a large group of trusted counselors. But I'm sure that there is another Christian in your community who you are not married to, who isn't your mom or your dad, who you can reach out to and, you know, and talk about this issue with.

So don't just stuff these things. Don't think that you're just meant to navigate it on your own and pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. That's just not true for Christians. So don't isolate in terms of keeping your problems to yourself. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, watch out for the temptation to grab control. You know, this is really one of the biggest reasons we struggle is because. Trauma and trouble reminds us that we are not in control, and we don't like that very much. We like to think that we are in control of our situations, and that if we'll just give the right input, we can expect a certain outcome, and that just is not true.

That is one of the greatest discomforts that come from trauma and trouble in life. And yet, the Proverbs have already instructed us to trust in the Lord. with all of our heart, not to lean on our own understanding, but in all our ways to acknowledge the Lord. Trust Him to make our path straight. That's Proverbs 3, 5, and 6.

Don't give into the temptation to think that you should have control and be frustrated when you don't have it. That will not help you. That will actually compound your problems, which is what the enemy would love to have happen anyway. Here's some ways that I think you could process through this. So take those scriptures we just talked about.

Think about those scriptures, meditate on those, apply those to the situation, and then do these three things.

Number one, whatever you've just gone through, sit down and pray. Pray, honestly, pray, transparently. But don't forget what Paul says to do in Philippians 4 6. As you make your request known to the Lord, do it with thanksgiving. In fact, why don't I just read that? Philippians 4, 6, and 7. Do not be anxious about anything.

Now that word, anything, you know what it means? Yep, it means anything. So, someone dies that you're really close to, you were depending on them. Paul says, do not be anxious about anything. The doctor comes in and he says the most dreaded word, cancer. And the Bible says, do not be anxious about anything.

You look at the bank account. And the numbers are red! You've overspent! The Bible says do not be anxious about anything. But in all things, or in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And then Paul tells us what will happen. The peace of God will come.

Which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Listen, God is sovereign, meaning He's in control of all things, and He's good. That is a vital combination that we need to depend on. Sometimes God allows us to experience the consequences of our sin. Like, let's say money was tight, but you were like, you know, I really, really would like to get those rims for my car.

Or boy, I just think, man, if I had a little bit nicer rifle, I could go out and I could kill some deer, which would be like free meat. If only, we had a little bit bigger house, a little bit nicer car, whatever, these things, so you overspend, and now you're in the negative, you might be dealing with consequences of your sin, but understand this, God will use even your sinful, Errors to draw you closer to Him.

Your trials, even the ones that you bring upon yourself, are meant for your good because they strengthen you in the Lord. They make you more mature. So God will produce good from this thing, even if you have to suffer some of the consequences. Those consequences are actually going to turn out to be something good and desirable in your life.

So whatever it is you're facing, you can be sad. You might feel a range of emotions, not all of which are positive. That doesn't necessarily make them sinful. You do need to be able to get to that point where you're saying, I'm not going to let this control me. I'm not going to let anxiousness or anxiety come into this already bad situation and make it worse.

I'm going to turn this over to the Lord who has power I don't have, who has a view on this thing that I don't have, who loves me and who has promised to work this out for my good. I'm going to trust him through the midst of this. I'm not going to let this thing rob me of my peace. And that's what Paul says will come.

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts. You will be guarded by a peace that comes into your heart and your mind because you're in Christ Jesus. Remember, Paul wrote that, by the way, in prison. So, peace does not come from bad situations not happening to you.

Peace comes from God in the midst of even the worst situations. So look to him during this time to pray with honesty, but be thankful and trust the Lord in the midst of it. I've already alluded to this, but God's goodness is where we get the second point I want to draw your attention to. I think not just pray with honesty, but secondly, seek God's perspective.

So Romans 8, 28 is the verse I referenced. It said, God works all things together for our good. So just to understand in the difficult times, because God can see beyond what we can see, because He's powerful beyond our own abilities, He is going to take this thing and accomplish his good purposes in it, in your life, and that's the perspective you need to maintain.

Not just like, oh, God's good, and I trust him, la di da. A real conviction that says, no, this is what's true of God. I feel like this in my situation, and these bad things might even be true right now in my situation, but this isn't the end of the story. And I've got the presence of God through the power of His Spirit here with me right now.

Can be encouraged by His Word and by His people. So seek God's perspective, not just yours. And the last thing, third thing, anchor your hope. Your hope needs to be anchored in something. Otherwise, you're just blowing around, tossed to and fro. And that's what we feel when we're anxious a lot of the time.

Like we've lost our moorings. So you can anchor your hope in, a promise like David did in Psalm 42, 5, when he talks about his soul hoping in God. He's even asking the questions, why are you downcast on my soul? Why are you in turmoil in me? Reminds himself, hope in God. For I shall again praise him, my salvation and my joy.

So when your soul's just beating you up, downcast, in turmoil within you, put your hope in the anchor that is God, who is good. And all of those things that we've already said here. I hope those three little tools are helpful for you as you work out how to navigate difficult circumstances in your life, and why don't we just recap here as we get ready to close out. Today we've learned that worry or anxiety are natural responses to trouble and trauma, but they should not be in the driver's seat.

And they should be mitigated or overcome as you begin to apply God's Word to your life. And there are some simple ways you can do that. You can pray with honesty and thanksgiving, Philippians 4, 6 tells us to do. You can remind yourself of God's sovereignty and goodness in all situations, like Romans 8, 28.

tells us, and you can anchor your hope in God's faithfulness like David did in Psalm 42. 5. Remember, God is with you. He is for you in the sense that he's working all things together for your good. He is benevolent toward his people. And if you're a Christian, you can know with confidence that these Realities about God define what's really ultimately true about you, and you can rest in that.

This has been another episode of Back to Rurality. This is a ministry of the Brainerd Institute of Rural Ministry, and our goal is to see God glorified in every rural community around the world. Thank you for joining us. For now, let's get back to life. Back to Rurality.