Ep 12: Afraid people won't like your designs? No worries! Here's how to deal with negative comments and internet bullies!

In this episode, I talk about how to deal with internet bullies and negative comments as a crochet designer or online business owner. I share my personal experience with a recent critical message and how I responded. 

This episode is for you when: 

• You let fear of criticism stop you from pursuing your creative dreams.
• You want to let go of that fear and to develop a mindset that separates your personal worth from your designs or social media posts.
• You're ready to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.
• You need a reminder that you're not meant to appeal to everyone, and that's okay.

Loved what you heared? Let's stay connected!

Sign up for the newsletter
Sign up for the waitlist for Mind of the Crochet Designer
Instagram
Facebook

Thank you for listening to the Mind of the Crochet Designer podcast!
If you loved what you heard, please leave a review and share your biggest takeways, because I love to read those and this really helps me to get the word out, so I can help you and as many (aspiring) crochet designers out there.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode.

Have a wonderful and creative week!

Transcript

Microfoon (YXC usb audio): 0:50

Welcome creative and. And beautiful soul to the mind, if the crochet signup podcast. I am Christina holiday. your host. And today I want to talk all about how to deal with internet bullies. Because I feel. This is a very important subject. I've read that a lot of people, they don't even want to start as a crochet designer or start an internet business because they fear. That they will get judged and that they will attract internet bullies. And I also read that. A lot of people that get Instagram reels that go viral, they get like this whole wave of hatred over themselves. And. They are like, whoa, I wasn't prepared for this. I'm not ready for this. And I have not signed up for this. Because. When we share with the world. When we share our crochet, the science with the world. It can almost feel like giving something of ourselves. Letting us be seen. And when we are seeing. We get quite full, honorable. And so when we feel like we are bullied, The first response we get is to retract and to hide. And I really don't want you to hide. Your power, your creative power. And your magical mind. And I don't want this to be a reason not to start as a crochet dishonor, if you've ever felt this way. And so today I want to share about my personal experience. Something that happened to me the other day. I got a DM about my handbook promotion. I love my handbook. I mean, I don't ever really something. I don't. Stand behind 100%. So. I know that it is a failure to dose dead. Really don't know how to start a crochet designed from scratch and who feel like the math is too complicated, too difficult and overwhelming. And so I created this handbook so you can create any flat crochet item from scratch, like shawls, like wall hangings, like blankets, whatever. So you can start designing and use that magical brain of yours to create anything you really want. And not feel like you need to. Keep yourself from starting as a crochet designer because you really don't know how to design. So I really loved it handbook. And so I talk about this a lot. And what I often do is I create a reel and when people comment with the word handbook, you automatically get a message in your DM with the link. And this has really worked wonderful for me because. You don't have to hunt for the link yourself. I mean, we all know that Instagram doesn't allow linking in the. Comment section or in the caption. So this has worked really well for me. And so I got a DM. That I didn't even expect. It caught me unawares. Because from my point of view, you can. Think like. What could ever possibly be wrong about sending links to people and RDM when they themselves ask for it? But this person, she came into my DM and she felt really strongly. And urge me to stop doing that. And she felt like it was really click baity because. The link to my store is also in my link tree and it was really easy to find and I should really stop clickbaiting people and I was better than this, and she was kinda mad that I was using this type of promotion. That works really well for me, but she felt really strongly that I should definitely stop. And by the way, she's allowed to feel that way by all means. I mean, that's just her perspective. But when I read that message. I just got a full body response. My heart was racing. My hands were feeling numb. My arms were getting numb. I was shaking. My head was feeling hot. And so I had this full body response of, oh no, I've done something wrong. And this is something that stems from way back in my childhood. And I really know how to deal with this now. And. I remember that. When I. Started as a crochet, the signer. So many people ask me, like, aren't you scared for the internet bullies and the hate comments and. All those kinds of things. And I was like, yeah, I'm kind of scared. I don't want people to, to hate on me. So I was really connecting my own personal fail. You, me to whatever I provided. And before I gained this new perspective that I'm going to share in this podcast. I was feeling whenever I got a message like this, I was feeling really wrong. Like I'm wrong. They arrived. I really should not use this kind of promotion. And I would hide and I would feel small. I would feel bullied. And I know. Have a very different perspective of how to respond to it and how to actually. Let it be okay. And before. I'm going to. Talk about the things that helped me and how I responded to that comment, to that DM. I want to say that it's never okay to bully another person. It's never okay. To come into someone's DM and be disrespectful and really. Push your opinion onto someone else. It's really not. We're fit to lose your peace of mind and you're asleep over. To comment on what someone else is doing. I mean, why are you getting so mad and so wound up. Because I want to only spread laugh. I want to spread positivity because the world is so. F up right now, we can all use some more. Support so more positivity. And so this message does the M wasn't at all positive. It was like, well, here's my opinion. And you should change. That's that? Period. So how I responded. Previously the old Christina would respond with, oh, I'm so sorry that you feel this way and I really should change. And thank you for your feedback and blah, blah, blah. And this whole like small Christina. But I am not here to play small. I am here to be seen. And to help other crochet designers. And. The side effect of dad is people are going to want to dampen dead bright light. And. I'm not going to dump my light anymore. Sorry. So how I responded was I told her. That I'm sorry. She felt that way. And that I really didn't know what happened to her that made her feel so strongly about me doing it this way. And that a lot of people are actually feeling it helpful because they don't have to go to my profile and click the link tree and click the link and then find a handbook. It's all to make it easier for them. And Dad. When it doesn't feel aligned with her or her failures, that doesn't mean it isn't offer value to other people. And so I hope you notice from this comment is dead. This isn't about me and this isn't about. My fail you or my worth as a person. And I really want you to Whatever. You take from this episode. I want you to know that whenever someone is not liking your designs, maybe even calling them ugly or not responding at all. It doesn't have to do anything with you as a person. It doesn't say anything about your value, your worth. And so what I did, I. Previously connected my worth to whatever I did and my business, but they really are two separate things. And. The perspective that helps me. A lot. Is that. It's this one perspective that really changed. My whole phew on when people don't like me or what I do, or even feel strongly against it. When I was taking a self-help course on how to deal with fear and anxiety, because this is something that. Has been prevalent in my life for a really long time. I took this self-help course. It was full with different perspectives, different outlooks on life, because that's all. There is to it. Life is full of different perspectives and I was having, oh world. Phew. From the point of people are either wrong or right. But that's really not the point at all. And so the perspective that really changed the way I deal with these types of comments is that. You have this person a and person B. And they both see your design. And person a. They absolutely love your design and can't wait to get their hands on your design and make it in. All the possible color combinations there just love. Whatever you release. And then there's person B that really hates, absolutely hates everything you make, but they follow you anyway. And they even think it's ugly and. They really don't laugh. What you present. So the question here. Is who is right and who is wrong? And the answer is there is no right. And there is no wrong. And the next question is, what does that say about you? And the answer to that is absolutely nothing. So. This is a perspective that really helped me so much with whenever I get a comment, like people not loving on my designs. Or sending me the M's about my handbook promotion. It really doesn't have to do anything with me. And rata has everything to do with them. I mean, It's so easy to call them internet bullies, but they are just people and they are hurt and scared and they have their own traumas, their own programming. And they have a different phew on how to promote a handbook. Then I have, and it's all. Okay. There's no right or wrong. Way here. So. I hope this perspective helps you. To let go off that fair off. Well, when I'm going to be a designer I will get judged and I will get maybe nasty comments. And I don't want that. I hold this perspective helps you. So you can. Let that go and follow your dreams because you are worth it to be seen and your designs are worth it to be seen. Your dreams are worth it to be followed. So I hope this perspective really helps you To accomplish that.

Microfoon (YXC usb audio)-1: 13:41

Another perspective that really helped me deal with. Unwanted situations like. The MQ really don't like to get is that I really believe that everything is happening for me. And that you eater get the thing you want, like everyone raving about your designs. And how you do things or you get the lessons you need. And in this case, our really needed. Someone to comment to my DM. And tell me that you wasn't at all happy with how I did things. And. I really needed that lesson. I really needed to go through that experience. So I can learn that the world does not end when I receive a DM like this. And also that I'm way more powerful and much bigger. And that I don't want to. Put a damper on my bride lied because someone isn't. Liking what I do. And so I really believe that when we grow, we grow up to the things that we can handle and we don't ever get more than we can handle. And so when we level up, when we level up our business, when we level up as a, as a person. In our personal growth, we will get challenges that will help us grow. And I am very grateful for these challenges because they really helped me. And this whole perspective of that. Everything in life is something that helps you propel your growth. Dead will propel you forward. Is. Is helping you and. Ever since I stopped believing in that things are either negative or positive that things are either. On wanted that woe is me and I am a victim and I can't handle this. Since I've let that go. Life has been so much more fun and so much more easy. And. Even though I still had that full body reaction. It doesn't matter because. It feels like it's just my body saying we are letting go of that negative energy and next time it will be even easier. And I really believed that.

Microfoon (YXC usb audio): 16:19

And. The last thing I want to say about this subject, because. I was very attached to people, liking me to people loving what I offer. And so when fr I got an unfollow. This would really hurt me. Like physically I would feel hurt. And I feel that a lot of people are the same way. Like, ah, I get unfollow or so I'm doing something wrong or I should change what I say or change what I make. And. I have a different perspective for you. Because person a will follow you to the moon and person B it's not for you anyway. So please let person B leave. They are not for you. You are not for everybody. Some people like blankets and some people like scarves and some people like thick yarn and some like to work with thin you're on. So what's right or wrong here. There's nothing right or wrong here. So please. Just make what you want, what you love. And let the people that follow you. Um, Follow you. They are not your people. So whenever I get a DM. Like this or a nasty comment. I really hope they will just unfollow me because I don't want anyone. That doesn't see my value or even gets mad about the way I do things. Follow me and get angry or upset or frustrated. I want everyone to just follow. W who they want to follow. And. Who are in alignment to their own failures and our own fuse and not lose any peace of mind or sleep over it. So please by all means. If what I am seeing right now, or on any other episode does not resonate with you or you get frustrated or angry. Just think about why that is. And maybe I am not for you. And that's all. Okay. I don't want to be for everyone. And you shouldn't be for everyone eater. You are your own person and you have your own values, your own unique perspective. And I want you to honor that. So I'm going to leave it at that. I really hope this episode helps you with how to deal with nasty comments, entered bullies, the likes. Talk to you next time on the mind of the crochet designer podcasts.