6. Embracing New Beginnings After a Successful Career

In this episode of Courageous Retirement, host Vona Johnson interviews a former client about her journey from a fulfilling career as a vice president at Kiewit Construction Company to a purpose-driven retirement. They discuss the emotional and practical aspects of transitioning into retirement, including overcoming fears and finding new sources of identity and value. Connie shares her personal experiences, from dealing with a past health scare to the importance of planning and being patient. She emphasizes the value of having supportive conversations and offers valuable advice for those contemplating retirement. Tune in for an enlightening and heartwarming discussion filled with insights and practical tips on making the most out of retirement.

00:00 Introduction: Facing Retirement Fears
01:11 Interview with Connie: A Journey to Retirement
03:42 Preparing for Retirement: Setting Goals and Overcoming Fears
06:28 The Transition: Handing Over Responsibilities
09:44 Reflecting on Retirement: Finding Purpose and Joy
14:37 Connie's Advice: Embracing the Best Season of Life
23:18 Conclusion: Courageous Retirement and Final Thoughts

Quotes from the Episode:
1. "We need to retire to something and not away from something" - Vona Johnson

2. "The journey, what it really boils down to, is just developing a stronger relationship with God... the only one that really matters is the identity that we have as a child of God." - Vona Johnson

3. "I just can't imagine doing anything right now, not being retired. It's a beautiful life. Rod and I are just sitting and chilling... We have no regret about where we're at." - Connie Determan

4. "I just pray that you will lean into this whole idea of retirement... You will find joy in this retirement. Have no fear, but lean in." - Vona Johnson

Register for an upcoming Finish Well Workshop.

Thank you for stopping by today! Remember to Engage Your Faith and Live Your More!

To watch the video, check out my YouTube Channel!

Learn more about the show, author Vona Johnson, and more at CourageousRetirement.com!

Transcript

0:00

If you're a Christian thinking about retirement, you may have some doubts about whether it's the right time to retire. If you're really ready to retire and what the heck are you going to do after you retire? Where will you get your identity from? How will you find value in your life? It's so easy to fall into the thought that you won't have a purpose anymore. So today to ease some of those fears that you may have. I have a real treat for you. I have an interview with a former client of mine. And we're going to talk about her journey from when we started working together through a year after she's been retired and what that really looks like for her. I think it's going to completely change the way that you may be looking at retirement. Be sure to stick around until the end where she's going to share her number one piece of advice for anyone thinking about retirement.

Vona: 0:52

Do you fear what lies beyond retirement? What if it's a gateway to a life filled with purpose, meaning, and adventure rather than an end? Discover peace and fulfillment as you boldly enter this new chapter in Courageous Retirement, a Christian podcast. I'm your host, author and coach, Vona Johnson. Let's get started. All right, Connie. Thank you so much for joining me today. I've been looking so forward to this conversation. It's been a while now, since we've been in contact. And I just wanted to invite you on the show today to let people get a glimpse in what it looks like to make that transition from the work world to retirement and any advice you might be able to give. People are nervous about, what, what's beyond because we don't know. And if they're not nervous, maybe they should be a little bit because it's a big step. But there are things that we can do to prepare for that. So before we jump in, what I would like to do is have you share a little bit about what it was like for you when you were starting to think about retirement and what made you say, I would like to have some help with this. First of all, tell a little bit about like who you are and what you were doing. Okay. And then we'll go from there.

Connie: 2:07

Okay. You have such great questions. So my name's Connie and, you know, I graduated from high school with Vona. So this was great. So it's been fun to watch her over the years and have her share her relationship with God and her, all her life experiences. So I've been able to just kind of tap into that. And I was working as the vice president of environmental at Kiewit Construction Company and I loved my job. It was really great. The last five years of my career, I really was able to tap into and help a lot of the young professionals, which I just loved doing. But as Rod and I kind of looked at our lives and where we were going and seven years ago, going on eight, I had a hemorrhagic stroke while I was running a race. And the doctors pretty much said, you're lucky to be here, Connie. You know, from that point on, I kept thinking, Well, wow. What am I going to do with my life? You know, as Rod and I started talking about, you know, well, what do we want to do? And where do we want to go? And I started watching and talking to a lot of my friends who were retiring and some who had gotten into retirement. A lot of them weren't enjoying it. And I thought. Wow, you don't enjoy retirement. Isn't that what we all kind of strive for? Exactly. And it started to kind of scare me like, but I think I want to retire for health reasons and life. And, so that's when I started thinking, well, we started to kind of set goals saying, well, let's, let's, try to get out and plan here in a couple of years or a year, and that's when I really started to get a little nervous because a lot of my co workers had retired, wrapped themselves around their jobs so much that was their identity, and even a friend of mine who had retired probably 10 years before, was still dreaming about work, and I thought, you retired to dream about work? I was like, wait, I don't know. So about that time is when I saw a lot of your posts on about life and you'd retired. And I thought, oh, wouldn't it be nice to just kind of think through this process, think through some of these important things. So I'm not just diving into it and then trying to figure it out because Again, my friends who were kind of floundering with it just never seem to hit the ground and start enjoying it. They seem to kind of struggle through that whole process.

Vona: 4:50

Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and as we mentioned, it's, it's a scary process. And one of my favorite things to say is that we need to retire to something and not away from it. And, and I think for the most part, I think a lot of the people that are going to be attracted to the work that I do, do love their jobs. It's not that they're trying to get away from their job so much, but it's time to like hit reset and, and, and start doing that thing that I, for me, it was, I just felt this, need this longing, you know, that there's got to be more to life. And, and I just felt like God was saying, you've done well, but there are other things out there that I would like for you to do now. And it's and part of that is Getting our team in order so that when we walk out the door, they know their responsibilities are, they, they have the confidence to carry on. Doesn't have to look like it did when you were there, but they need to have that confidence that they can do this, right?

Connie: 6:04

Right, and that you've successfully turned it over. So they own it because, you know, you want them to be successful. You want them to own it and improve it. Take it to the next level. So, yeah, that was that encouragement. You want them you don't want them to fail. So, yeah, exactly.

Vona: 6:28

Yeah, and as I mentioned before we hopped on, I really enjoyed being a part of those conversations with you and thinking through, you know, just, I mean, even some of the meetings you were going to, and you were like, I'm going to be talking to this person, you know, and how should I handle that? And I loved that you were thinking through the, not just doing it, but the process of how you were going to couch it in conversations and how you were going to, there were going to be times when you were going to just hand it over and say, I'm here, but I'm not going to be looking over your shoulder. You got this. And I don't want you to use me as a crutch as you start. I mean, you had, you took that opportunity to hand over the reins while you were still there so that it wasn't a complete There you go.

Connie: 7:21

Yeah, Yeah, because, you do really leave a part of you, because your work's part of you and you've, you've babied it, you've cherished it, and, and but yeah, it's, it's handing that off, almost like a child going off to college and things, yeah, but I think those conversations were really helpful because, I think if I would have just blasted through some of that stuff without thinking through some of those conversations, it would have felt clunky and I think it would have just kind of left maybe some things unsaid or something, you know, but I think it gave me the confidence to say, okay, people, I'm leaving. I'm really retiring. So, it was hearing that word and, having that reflection to say, I'm doing this. That really did help to hear to out loud, you know, and having those conversations to say, wow, it's happening.

Vona: 8:15

Yeah. So, just to give a little bit of context. We essentially worked together the last 12 months while you were still working. Yes. We met once a month for the most part. I think there were a couple of months with holidays or something where we didn't get connected. But did you feel like that was a good cadence to just kind of give you, I mean, to focus on what you were doing? Those, those monthly meetings, was that about right? Do you think?

Connie: 8:44

Well, for me, once a month was absolutely perfect because, kind of gave me, we were kind of talking through the next month, but we're kind of talking still what retirement would look like, you know, so it's kind of almost two conversations like, all right, what's going to happen this month, you know, blah, blah, blah, but what's, what's, and we talked through, what do you want retirement to look like? And that was really fun to think. Oh, it's getting closer. It's getting closer. And I think that once a month touch point just kind of helped keep things focused, you know, because I do think and I've seen this too, with some coworkers, they would announce the retirement and people would be like, oh, no, don't retire. And then they'd jump back in because they felt needed. And I thought, yeah, that's great. No, I, I, no, I want this retirement to happen. So I've got to stay committed through this process. And I think that helped a lot to knowing that these monthly calls would just kind of help me think through some of these conversations. So.

Vona: 9:44

Yeah. So what are, what are some of the things that came out of our conversations that you felt like were really helpful? I mean, I can think of some things, but I want to hear what you thought were helpful.

Connie: 9:57

Oh, this will be good. We'll compare notes. There were two things that really stuck out, that we talked through that I thought really helped me a lot. We talked through, that feeling of needed and wanting to have a purpose and all that stuff, you know, we talked through about not really jumping into something until, you know, I really prayed about it and thought through it. And I felt like it was a good direction because sometimes I feel like, oh, that sounds good. And I jump. And so we talked a lot about that, and that was really helpful because that first year, I sat back more. So those were really good conversations for me. And I was kind of like, well, what's, what's my purpose going to be? But now, when I look back, you know, I can see where God really worked through my life that year because I spent time, praying and meditating and really working on my relationship and my prayer life. And, and now, these volunteer opportunities have been laid out, you know, for me and oh, my gosh. So I think those, they didn't really come to fruition till this year. But they were absolutely. Perfect. And just so much blessings. So that was 1, because I probably would have just. Gone into retirement, you know, that first month, somebody would have called and said, Hey, Connie, you want to help with this? And I would have jumped, you know, thinking, oh, I need to do something. I'm retired, but I didn't the other 1, which was really I just loved it was you had me do a reflection about, you took me back when I was growing up and sitting at dinner with my parents and, you know, what would have I done differently looking back? And, that really, made me really again, stop and reflect. How am I going to make sure I don't have life regrets? What am I going to do? And how am I going to be more aware? And I think about that time, my dad's health started to fail, and I think probably that combination of that reflection, really took me into retirement because I could focus on my parents. And then once a month, I would go out and see my dad, whose health continued to fail. But that ended up to be so healing and such a beautiful time for the family and my relationship with my dad.

Vona: 12:24

Yeah, after I retired my, my parents, particularly my dad, who is full on dementia now. And it's just such a gift to be able to be that person that can be there to just, help with doctor's appointments and things and I know you guys weren't in the same community. So it wasn't that so much but It's you know, when you hear about the sandwich generation, I didn't realize it was the sandwich between my parents and my grandchildren, but that's really to me what it is. It's you almost skip that generation because it's so much fun to be around with for the grandkids, too, right?

Connie: 13:01

Oh Oh my gosh. Yes

Vona: 13:04

Yeah, well, the two things that stood out for me was, helping you like, say, Yep, I'm going to do this. And that was redoing your sewing room. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talking that through and you were kind of like, well, this is something I've always wanted to do. And I was like, and why haven't you done it? Exactly. And here I am. Yeah.

Connie: 13:26

There in my, I'm in my sewing room. Oh my gosh.

Vona: 13:31

Yeah. But it was ready when you were retired then, right? Because you started working on it when we talked about it.

Connie: 13:36

Yeah.

Vona: 13:36

About the time we started. That was one of those things that just never got around to, and then all of a sudden you did. And I, I just love, yeah. The other thing that I loved was planning the vacation. You were like, what's going to be that celebration and you didn't do it immediately, but you had it all planned and ready to go. And and that was a lot of fun to watch. You guys pull that together and then see the pictures posted after you were actually on it. That was awesome for me.

Connie: 14:01

Yeah, you know, we really did enjoy that trip, except for the very. Was it the last day or the second to last day? Rod fell and broke five ribs.

Vona: 14:09

Oh, no. I don't know that I knew that. Fortunately, it was towards the end and not the beginning. It was

Connie: 14:16

towards the end and we were having so much fun, you know, and we really did take time. We'd walk on the beach and we just said, this is, this is. So, wonderful, but yeah, and then I had to drive him for 4 days. We can laugh so much about it now. And because again, it was a challenge and a crisis, but we worked through, getting him back.

Vona: 14:35

Thinking now. about maybe what some of the fears were, but now thinking about what, what your life really is like, tell us a little bit about kind of that, the after picture and what it's like, you sent me the most beautiful message last month about that. And it just really touched me and honestly spurred me to have this conversation, but tell us what that, that after picture looks like for you.

Connie: 15:03

You know, I think, Coming into this change in life and coming into it, really thinking through some of these things and how would it look and how are you going to do little things like celebrate. I just can't imagine doing anything right now, not being retired, you know it's a beautiful life. Rod and I are just enjoying things. We have no regrets about where we're at, and I think that's really what we wanted to do. We wanted to go into retirement and not say, oh, why didn't we do this? Or why didn't we why did we retire? You know, or we're both just really enjoying it. And I think that really helped. Yeah, just talk through a lot of these things and and the fears about like, what's it gonna look like? Why does it have to look that way. I think that's really what makes the difference is just really Yeah, visualizing it and then having it happen.

Vona: 16:00

Well, and what I liked about it was the opportunity to sit down and talk about the things that fill you up and find ways to do your volunteer time and things like that, that really brings you joy. Not just like you said, answering the phone call and doing whatever it was somebody asked you, but being discerning about the yeses that you chose and, and how rewarding that is for you. And I just think that is so beautiful.

Connie: 16:29

Yeah, yeah, it's just the patient part was always, I was always kind of like struggling with patience like, okay, but I think that's the part. And I think you and I talked about that earlier is in. I've got time to be more patient and really sit back, reflect, take some of that contemplative approach, I even find that though with my granddaughters, you know, it's like, I had a laugh 1 time, Zoe, and I were walking down a driveway and she goes, let's just sit And I thought, okay, and here we were just sitting at the end of the driveway, not talking. And I thought, you know, before retirement, I would have been like, okay. I've got, I've got a schedule. Come on, let's go. You can't sit on the driveway. And we just sat there for about five minutes, just in silence, and this was a three year old teaching me about silence, you know, and you get those opportunities in retirement, you know, and you don't want to miss those. And that's what I just, I just cherish that, just sitting.

Vona: 17:35

I love it. That's beautiful. I like that a lot. And, I'm sitting here thinking that there's got to be a scripture that goes along with that. I'm going to go find it. Because truly the journey when it really boils down to it is just developing a stronger relationship with God. You mentioned identity earlier in the conversation, and we can get so wrapped up in our identity in the workplace and our identity as all the different things that we do and things that we become, but when it really comes right down to it, the only one that really matters is the identity that we have as a child of God and, and bringing that knowing to the people in our lives, right?

Connie: 18:19

Yeah, exactly. And the peace and the love and, the joy that, because every year God will give me a word. And so it's been peace, love. Last year was joy. And then I found it interesting, the word that he placed on my heart at the beginning of the year was rest. And I thought, but I'm retired. What do you mean rest? You know, but I've been resting more in him, you know, so he can just really take care of me and share, you know, shower me with his love and delights. And as I sit in my sewing room, oh, I can reflect and he delights in me enjoying that I'm sharing my gift and, expanding my sewing knowledge and sharing with other people. And I just love it, you know, so, yeah.

Vona: 19:08

Yeah. And, and I, I'm glad you brought that up because I think that that's a huge part of it is this misconception that retirement looks like this and it's different for everybody. I think a part of me thought, I'm just going to read books. I'm just going to read books all the time and you can only do that so long. And then, I mean, no matter how good the books are, it just gets boring. You've got to have more than binging great movies and reading great books. Gotta be a purpose behind it. And I feel that you've really brought that forth in this conversation.

19:40

So if you're listening to this today and you're thinking, you know, I could see where having someone to talk to about this retirement journey would be beneficial. I want to invite you into a conversation. I call it my Finish Well Workshop. And I'm going to do them locally here in PIerre, South Dakota, where I live, but I'm also going to be doing some online. So regardless of where you are, you can take advantage of this interactive session where you can learn how to be discerning about the things that you're going to do in retirement. Obviously we can't go over all of the different ins and outs of it, but it's an opportunity to come and just work through your next step in planning for your retirement. So I want to invite you to join me. I've got several workshops coming, so just go to courageousretirement.com. And at the top of that page, there's going to be, an opportunity to register for my Finish Well Workshops,put you on my email list and I will let you know, as the workshops come available. I'm just really excited to start these engaging conversations about how we can follow the will that God has on our life.

Vona: 20:50

If you were to give the listeners to the show today, just one piece of advice as they're contemplating retirement. What would that be?

Connie: 20:59

What a great question. You know, talk, talk to people, I, I think I talked to a lot of my friends who'd gone through it. I talked to you, there's, there's a lot of great resources and information out there. What does retirement look like? I think that's why I really enjoyed our conversations too, Vona as we, we talked about what would things look like? And I think that was just incredible to not just kind of say, I'm retiring and just go into it. To really think through some of that stuff.

Vona: 21:34

And I really appreciate that. So

Connie: 21:37

I'm still going to teach you how to play

Vona: 21:38

pickleball. That's right. I forgot that was part of the deal. So when are you coming back to South Dakota so we can get that done?

Connie: 21:45

Oh

Vona: 21:46

my

Connie: 21:46

gosh, that'd be great. Well, we're just finishing building our pickleball court next to our house. So there you go. I need to come there. You need to come down yeah, that would be great

Vona: 21:58

boy. Yeah. So, you know, we put pickleball courts in here. I was a part of that as a city commissioner, and when the guy came to make the pitch for the city to help fund it. He was talking about it and I'm like, you know, I, I think I could do that. That sounds like a lot of fun. And then he got to the point where he talked about how competitive it was and everything. I'm like, nope, not for me. And of course I've had people say, well, it doesn't have to be.

Connie: 22:26

I don't know. It's a very social sport. I think again, where I love it. Cause I go meet 24 new people, which is great. So.

Vona: 22:33

Wow. Yeah, I didn't realize that. Another angle I hadn't contemplated. Connie, I just thank you so much for just coming on and talking to us about your experience in retirement. And we talk about it being courageous retirement because it takes courage. I appreciate your, your time. I appreciate your friendship. And just, it just warms my heart to see you be so happy in this, what I call the best season of life. And you're exemplifying that. So thank you.

Connie: 23:05

Thanks for launching me into this. It's, it was great. It was a great process. So. Thank you.

Vona: 23:10

Absolutely. Say hello to the family for me, and I will. God bless and c ontinue on.

Connie: 23:16

Yes, you too. Come down and see me.

23:19

So there you have it, it wasn't that just a fun conversation with Connie today. I want to just pinpoint a couple of the points that were made there. Connie's number one advice was to talk to people, find somebody to talk to about your fears of retirement, your dreams of retirement. Find a way to incorporate your gifts, your talents, and your experiences, and wrap those up into new experiences as you move on to this next season of life. What I like to call the best season of life. Earlier in the conversation, Connie and I talked about how we needed to have a verse that went along with our conversation. And as I thought about it, and she was talking about the story of her sitting there and just resting in the conversation in the quiet with her granddaughter. I thought that that was really beautiful. And then later in the conversation we talked about finding our identity in God. And I realized that the verse that goes along with this theme is truly Psalm 46:10. Be still and know that I am God. Really that's what it's all about. This whole Courageous Retirement is having the courage to be still. Know that our God is with us. And He wants us to continue to live up until the very last minute. So, thank you so much for joining me today. It has such been such a joy and I just pray that you will lean into this whole idea of retirement, you will find joy in this retirement, have no fear, but lean in. And in the meantime, I hope you'll come back in two weeks where we're going to continue talking about courageous retirement. And until then I pray that you will engage your faith and live your more.