On today's episode, our host Liz Bezler introduces "Unposted Podcast" as a home for anyone looking for the real, raw, and unfiltered truths behind social media and the influence it has on our mental health. She will touch on how she grew up comparing herself to others in the dance industry, the pressure of showing up online, the reality of being a woman in entertainment, and what Unposted Podcast has in store for you this season.
Make sure to follow Unposted Podcast so you don't miss an episode dropping every Tuesday at 5:00am EST.
YouTube: (Video version HERE)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV6LnH2XhAt01dSoEFYGBjQ
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/unpostedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/lizbezler/
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@unpostedpodcast
On today's episode, our host Liz Bezler introduces "Unposted Podcast" as a home for anyone looking for the real, raw, and unfiltered truths behind social media and the influence it has on our mental health. She will touch on how she grew up comparing herself to others in the dance industry, the pressure of showing up online, the reality of being a woman in entertainment, and what Unposted Podcast has in store for you this season.
Make sure to follow Unposted Podcast so you don't miss an episode dropping every Tuesday at 5:00am EST.
YouTube: (Video version HERE)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV6LnH2XhAt01dSoEFYGBjQ
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/unpostedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/lizbezler/
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@unpostedpodcast
Hi guys, welcome to the Unposted Podcast. If you don't know me, my name is Liz Bezler and I'm honestly so nervous Like this is my first time. Just kind of talking to myself, I've wanted to start a podcast literally for like probably five years now. I've always like I've told my parents, I've told my siblings, I've told everybody around me. I've always wanted to start a podcast because I just have always felt like I had so much to say and almost like I wanted to talk to a younger version of myself. This is finally. It's finally happening.
Speaker 1:I really don't know what I'm doing and I think that's the craziest part is that I always thought there would be this point in my life where I'm like I'm ready to start a podcast. I know exactly what I'm going to say, and the reality is I have no idea what I'm doing. But I do know that sometimes, when I would like drive in my car, I would literally just talk out loud and in those moments I was like, why don't I just record this? I should just record this. But I didn't, of course. But I was like I need to start a podcast. I've always felt that. So we're here and I'm nervous and if you can tell in my voice I'm nervous. It's because I am, so I really wanted to hop on here first, because this is the first episode.
Speaker 1:What Unposted is basically, I'm going to be bringing on a lot of guests and I'm going to have a lot of people that I've looked up to on social media in the entertainment world, but some people I've had relationships with for a long time and I want to get a variety of people that I think would be good to come on here and tell their story and show the things that are not posted online. Come on here and tell their story and show the things that are not posted online. That's the biggest thing I've learned, I think, growing up in this world of social media evolving so fast, is that social media is not real. And being an in an influencer or an artist or somebody that has to constantly show up online in their career, I know that it's not real, but it's crazy again, because growing up, you don't see the behind the scenes of the people that you look up to. Like I would look up to dancers and artists and celebrities and influencers and reality TV show people, people on TV Right, and I would look up to them and think, oh my goodness, their lives are perfect. And from a really young age, I've always compared myself and gosh not me like wanting to cry. Like people I've looked up to growing up, I've always been like gosh. Their lives are perfect.
Speaker 1:And now, being on the opposite side of the screen and like being able to post on social media and people see my life in a very specific light I only let people see what I post. A lot of people probably think, oh, that's wow, she has a great life, she doesn't go through any struggles. There's nothing beyond what you see online, beyond what you see online. And after being on that side of the screen and being in this world where I'm surrounded by this social media grind 24 7, I'm like, oh my goodness, there's so much that I feel like people that aren't in this industry there's so much that you guys don't realize actually goes on with creating content, and that's what I, that's what I want this, this podcast, to be about. So I'm bringing on people that I feel like will open up and be more vulnerable about their story and things that you know. I posted this online, but actually I was going through this and, again, social media is just a highlight reel. We don't ever actually post what we are really going through. Even the glamorous shoots and the glamorous things like you don't ever actually post what we are really going through. Even the glamorous shoots and the glamorous things, like you don't know what they were doing that day. You don't know if they went through a breakup that morning or they had a panic attack on set All those things you don't see. So this podcast is to kind of shine light on things that you don't see online. So a little bit about me. I feel like you should maybe get to know the host a little bit before you know I bring out all these people and learn about their stories. I wanted to do a little mini episode, just a little bit about me and where I come from and what again. What has inspired me to do this podcast? And also, I gosh, I have so much anxiety, like I'm literally shaking right now and I'm like in my apartment with George. He's helping me film and I'm nervous, I don't know. Anyway, I haven't have my notes with me, so so I don't mess up.
Speaker 1:Growing up I. So I lived in Dallas, texas, growing up. I was thrown into a really intense gymnastics program at the age like six. So from the very young age I was very competitive and I was always put in a room where I was compared to other people and, with gymnastics being very physical, I was also very aware of like, oh, I'm not as strong as this person or my body doesn't look like this person, and I don't think at the time I realized that was. You know what was happening and how that affected me at such a young age. We would like train. At like 6 am, I was like partially homeschooled. I went to a private school and this is all. So I could live this like Olympic dream and I don't think people realize like, if you want to go to the Olympics for a sport, mine at the time was gymnastics. That was my dream. I wanted to go and go to the Olympics. That was like I was like one track minded, like there was no, like playing and having fun and having a childhood. It was I want to be the best.
Speaker 1:These kids were put in this environment to work hard and go towards your goals and do kind of anything that it could take mentally, physically, emotionally to get to those goals. And I know gymnastics, I love gymnastics. There's a lot, a lot, a lot of mental toughness in gymnastics because, one, it's extremely difficult hard work on your body. Two, mentally like you're training all day, every day. If you miss a day, they always said, if you miss one day it's like missing a week, like you can't miss a day. We never had time off. I was again. I was like six years old, like I didn't. I didn't know a difference really, as a kid. You're like well, I'm just here. Your parents, you know, take you to gymnastics and I was wanted that life.
Speaker 1:Looking back at photos, I remember there's this one photo and if I can find it I'll pull it up on the screen here. There's this one photo where we had a professional team photo and I was in the TOPS program, which is basically a program where they hand selected you to kind of go down this route to train more intensely, to hopefully achieve, you know, the Olympic team one day or something beyond just recreational gymnastics. So if I can pull up this picture if I have it, I will. There was a team it was like six or seven of us sitting on a beam like this, and I remember in that moment, I still remember to this day, thinking suck in your stomach. I was a little girl Like I was teeny, tiny, like I had no fat on my body, and I remember sitting on this bench like sucking in my stomach, so bad. And I remember getting the photos back and my mom being like, why are you standing like that? I'm like I don't know, but I knew why. It's because I wanted to look fit and thin. And I think back to all of my different like body dysmorphia and like, oh, judging myself. I very much remember that moment being like I was like seven years old, like posing, like like I had to like suck in my stomach to be like to look good on camera.
Speaker 1:So, long story short went through the gymnastics world. I always I was very shy so I didn't talk, which is also why this is crazy that I'm coming on here and talking openly and freely and I'm nervous but I'm not scared to you know voice how I feel, but I literally would not talk. I would say for probably like three, four years, like I would show up at the gym and people would be like, can you talk, can you say hi? And I literally would not talk. I was so shy, it was so weird and I always remember feeling like the outsider, like I could. Never. I was never the cool kid, you know, never. I was never the cool kid, you know. I was never the cool friends with everybody, like. I felt like I had to really try to be friends with everybody and maybe it's because I was shy, so that stuck with me.
Speaker 1:I moved back to Illinois where my family grew up, thrown into public school. After being homeschooled and training and all this stuff, my family decided to move back to Illinois so gymnastics was not a future endeavor for me. I had to stop that, which, honestly, is probably a good thing. I joined dance and I met all my best friends in dance. To this day, like thinking back, dancing at my studio we literally dance from like 3 pm right out at school and go until 9 pm every single day and travel on the weekends and compete. Dance was my life. So I didn't have friends really outside of dance Like. My friends were my dance friends and people that I. I literally spent every waking minute with dancing and doing what we love.
Speaker 1:So that determination kind of mindset from gymnastics kind of rolled over into my dance life. I didn't. I wasn't popular in school. I had a really hard time making friends in school because I was like I want to be the best at dance, so that was like my top priority. I knew from a really young age that I wanted to be a dancer, a professional dancer. I was like this is it. And if people want to support me, and you know, those people will be my friends. So I have a very small group of friends that I love very much, that have supported me and, um, you know we're besties. But other than that, I did have a really difficult time in high school, just kind of fitting in and feeling like normal. I don't know. I just feel like from the beginning, like since I moved from Texas, it was like I've always felt like an outsider. Thanks to my dance girls, I had a home, definitely.
Speaker 1:So growing up in a dance studio if you're a dancer, you know how toxic growing up in a dance studio can be, and not even from the people that train you or anything like that. It's more so from like think of it this way You're wearing, you're like half naked. You're in booty shorts and a sports bra, dancing all day, every day, in front of mirrors, dancing next to people that are all different body types and at an age where you're going through puberty and, like, everybody's body is different. Some people have boobs, some people don't. Some people have big butts, some people are, have are really skinny, which which is like the dancer body, and at the time the dancer body was like a twig, and if you weren't a twig, good luck having a career in dance. So I remember very being so harsh on my body. I remember getting home from school and being like I can have five crackers today for my snack. Like what the heck? Like five crackers. And if I overate or anything, it was like, oh my gosh, I'm fat.
Speaker 1:So growing up in that environment where I felt like dance and your success in dance was half talent and half your body really twisted my mind and still to this day it's something I struggle with is just accepting how I look and feel in my own skin. Anyway, had to take a breath. So I pursued dance. I went really hard in dance and I decided I don't care how many friends I have, I don't care about anything, I want to be a professional dancer and I want to move to LA. So I made my dreams happen.
Speaker 1:Everybody thought I was literally crazy. I remember there was like a college career day in our senior year and everybody's like oh yeah, I'm going to this college. We had to go around and say all the where we were going to school. And I remember being like I'm going to LA. And at the time I didn't know I was going to LA, I had no college plans, I had no plans actually set in stone to move to LA. My parents my mom was very supportive, my dad was still like you're crazy, that's not happening. You're going to school. And but I was like no, I'm going to LA, that's what I'm doing, I'm dancing in LA. And people were literally like what? Okay, well, you probably should have a backup plan, you probably should figure out what school you want to go to. And I just, I just remember being like no, I'm going to go to LA. No, literally no plans.
Speaker 1:Flash forward graduate high school, no plans, no plans set in stone. And the summer goes by and I have no plans to go to college. I'm like, well, I don't know, maybe I'll just work and save up money so I can move to LA. Because I was like dad, I just want to move to LA. And he's like well, we're not doing that. La is expensive and we can't afford that. So not gonna happen and you're not just gonna go to another city like literally 18 years old and like kind of float around and not know what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Flash forward, I feel like I say that a lot. I'm so sorry, but, um, about two weeks before this big audition, this audition was called edge scholarship and this was something I was like, oh, I really want to do, but there's no, I didn't. I don't think I believed in myself enough yet. So that was like I really want to audition for this, but like, is it? I don't think it's it's worth it. Two weeks before this audition, I asked my parents can you take me? They say no, we just took you to Vegas for another audition.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you guys, though, leading up to this point, no after no, after no, after no was what I was told. With dance, like auditions for companies and conventions and schools. It was no after no, after no, no, reject, reject, reject. And I was like, well, shit, maybe I'm not good enough, but I was like, no, I'm going to save up money and I'm going to move to L, to LA. Then I found out about edge scholarship audition. I called my grandma. I was like hi, grandma, can do you want to take me to this audition in LA. Long story short, she did end up taking me and I did end up getting this scholarship, which they took like 20 20 kids at the time, and it was a whole dance program.
Speaker 1:You trained with all the professional choreographers for a year and then at the end of the year you got signed with an agent or got to do a showcase. So that was a blessing and I feel like that was really like God being like no, you're supposed to be here. Like thinking back, the story's crazy. I'll go more into depth in another episode because it's it's a whole episode in itself. But in that moment I was like I'm meant to be here, so got my agent again, went through body dysmorphia, problems, dancing next to amazing dancers now not just hometown dancers, now I'm dancing with like the best of the best. So I'm constantly comparing myself to everybody in the room.
Speaker 1:It was really difficult, really really hard year of my life of just like beating myself down, not feeling good enough, and with dance it's like you don't get called out in class or you weren't put in a piece or you weren't given a solo in this, in this number. Then you weren't good enough and I remember at the time I was like eating really unhealthy and just really not living a good, healthy lifestyle. And I remember being called into my director's office and he literally told me you do not have the body to get an agent and you will never work in the industry if you don't fix your body. And this was two weeks before my big showcase for all these agents. So what do I do? For the next two weeks? I like basically starve myself and that didn't do anything because of the stress and everything. So it didn't even change my physical appearance. It literally made me more stressed and just honestly probably made me look worse. But anyway, another another story, another time for another story. Life happened.
Speaker 1:I danced in the industry for several years. A lot of shit shit happened. Dance is like not for the week. It's very, very difficult. You are dancers, in my mind, work the hardest in the industry and get the lowest pay and the least respect. So dancing in that environment for years and years again took a mental toll. Just trying to pay rent. You can't pay rent as a dancer unless you're constantly, constantly booking jobs. I got out of that.
Speaker 1:I got into the music industry and this is where my social media brain kind of turned on because I had to. As an artist, you have to be online. You have to be present on TikTok and YouTube and Instagram and Facebook and Twitter all of the platforms YouTube and Instagram and Facebook and Twitter all of the platforms. It's not even about your talent anymore. I didn't even realize this because I always thought success was based off of talent and it's not based off of talent.
Speaker 1:I remember getting into this space where I would have agents and managers you know they were doing their job telling me you need to post online. You need to have these scandalous headshots showing your body, you need to always wear makeup. I remember there was an event I was in a music group and there was an event that my manager tried to get the group into and I didn't have a big TikTok at the time. I had like maybe 30,000 followers on TikTok and in the world of entertainment that's not that much and I didn't take my TikTok seriously at the time. I was like this is a joke. I still post stupid stuff on my TikTok. If you want to follow it, post. So like the most irrelevant stupid stuff on my TikTok. My Instagram is where I like got glammed up. But my TikTok was like I don't care about this platform, and I remember my agent calling me and being like hey, um, two of the girls were accepted to get into this event and two of you weren't, and you're one of them who was not accepted into this event. This event, like all these events, are just so cool in LA. They're not. But they said they loved my Instagram, but my TikTok I didn't have makeup on. I didn't have makeup on and that's why I didn't get into an event. So, yeah, it just really makes you hate the industry. Now I have to wear makeup every time I get on camera because I have to fulfill this image that other people have set for me. My manager was great. She always vouched for us. Love her and everything that she's done for me.
Speaker 1:But the industry in itself? I've seen a lot long story short. I know what it's like to have that you have to show up online in a certain way, and that's what sucks is to be, in entertainment, an actress, a dancer, a singer, an artist any of those categories an influencer. You literally have to show up with a full face of makeup or you're not taken seriously. So this is where I have a full face of makeup on, yes, but this is where I want to shed light on the things that aren't so pretty. We have to show up like this. We have to show up with makeup on, otherwise we're, we won't show up, we will be turned down from opportunities, and I think that's really unfortunate that the world has come to this, that we have to look a certain way, especially women and females in the industry Again, another topic for another day. We have to show up a certain way, physically, personality. We have to act a certain way online and a lot of times it's not because we want to, it's because we have to or we can't make a living. That's just the reality of it.
Speaker 1:Unposted podcasts it's really about showcasing that everybody's similar, whether you're a big guru in the industry, or you work at your local grocery store or mcdonald's, or you work at a school as a teacher, or your nurse, or your construction worker I don't know any job. Like every single person, it doesn't matter where you are in the world, has gone through something and has struggles, and I think we compare ourselves so much to the people that we look up to and the people that we see online and it's like, oh, they have all these beautiful things in their home and, oh, my goodness. But I promise you it's just because it looks that way. It's not that way. I want to say 90% of the time it's. There's a lot of things that you don't see.
Speaker 1:I always say this like I feel like if everybody would talk about their struggles. People don't talk about them because they don't want to feel weak or whatever. They're scared of getting judged or perceived a certain way. But I think if everybody were to be able to open up and talk about hey, this happened to me. I don't think they realize that their struggle is going to help the person next to them, because there's so many people that go through the same things we don't even realize.
Speaker 1:So, whether you're sitting on your couch right now or in your car, or you're on your way to your nine to five job, or you are an influencer, we all have the same struggles. We all go through the same stuff. We just show it differently, and I hope this podcast can show you that you're not alone. Gosh, I have to not cry, I can't mess up my makeup, but I want to make this podcast for my younger self and just for I have siblings, younger siblings that I see, and family and friends that I see struggle with things you know, anxiety and depression and just really shitty situations, and I just, if I can help anybody, it's all you people that are feeling like you don't have a voice or like that you're unheard. So so, yeah, stay tuned, guys for this.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't even say it's a season. I really want this to be ongoing, but this season right now for me is having guests on and kind of shining light on um their lives, other people's lives, and hopefully it'll connect to you again. It's not as it seems, if I'm put on this fricking earth for one thing, I just hope that I can help one person. So, anyway, if you have any questions or want me to talk about a very specific topic or go more into depth on things, please just DM me. It's at unposted podcast on Instagram. I also have my personal page at Liz Bezler, Also on Instagram. I work mainly off of those two platforms, off of Instagram. I think that's like my go-to platform. So if you have anything you would like to add or just, you know, shout out or give me any advice or things that you want to share, I would love to hear from you. And yeah, stay tuned, guys, for an awesome season of Unposted Podcast. Bye.