please please please

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Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

Hello everyone and welcome to the Consider Yourself Blessed podcast. I hope you're having an amazing day. Today I am parked in the parking lot of my high school tennis courts because I wanted to pull over in the shade as soon as I had this idea and talk to you about it. So many of you may or may not know that Sabrina Carpenter released her newest song called Please Please Please over the weekend and I I was absolutely obsessed with it. The first time I listened to it, I was on YouTube, actually, and I saw that she posted the music video, and I hadn't heard the song before I watched the music video, and it's very rare that you get to do that, so I was really, really excited because my whole perspective of the song was able to be shaped by what I saw in the music video, so I could see, okay, what is the artist's intent in us hearing this song, what is the messaging, what are the ways that we are going to and meant to interpret the song. You know, she's setting us up nicely. You know, If singer songwriters and artists are going to get paid Like, thousands and thousands of dollars and have teams that they pay thousands and thousands of dollars on to create an idea or an experience for me. I'm gonna, I'm gonna absolutely take it. I'm gonna take it. So, I don't know, I'll just tell you my thought process, I've listened to it like many times now, I watched the video, and it's very like Mob Wife. And, but it starts where she's in jail. So you know that she kind of has a bad side. It's not that she's perfect. So, um, She's leaving jail and she sees this guy and that's her mans. Whether they met in jail, we're not sure. I don't know. Um, and you see her basically throughout the video like picking his ass up while he's getting in trouble and picking him up out of jail and then at the end you see her, Um, kind of like fed up and it looks like she's gonna like tie him up and, you know, keep him quiet since he isn't gonna listen to her. She's gonna take matters into her own hands and since he can't stop himself from getting into trouble, she's gonna stop him from getting out, basically. And I was like, wow, what a visual. It was a great experience. And then when I'm listening to the song, now my mind can kind of wander a little bit. I can come up with my own interpretations. And for me, I, at the end, she says, um, not at the end, but, Heartbreak is one thing, my ego is another, I'm begging you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker. Don't embarrass me, motherfucker. Like, I'm putting in a good word for you. All of my friends are, you know, believing that you are the person that I'm trying to make them believe that you are, and you're making me look stupid by proving them wrong every time you do something fucked up, right? And I was like, this makes sense. This is like, you know, a woman being like, come on, dude. Like, I'm trying to give you these chances, right? But then the question remains, and this is what went, where I went in my mind, Was like, what does Sabrina get out of this? Or what is the woman in this, like, it's not necessarily Sabrina, but what is the woman, this character, what is this woman getting out of this? Well, and I think about being with a character like in that video, right? Like, perhaps you are with the person because they are giving you that side of them that they never show anybody else. Like, I know what it's like to be excited about having somebody in your life who's like a baddie, who's badass, and kind of has like a, a standoffish attitude to other people, but when they're with you, they soften. That is a validating experience. and it typically happens with a man, right? So that's like the masculine and the feminine, the masculine, and not just talking about man, woman, but like energy wise, masculine energy, feminine energy, and like the yin and the yang, the duality and life creation force, right? You need a man and a woman, or let's call it sperm and an egg. You need a sperm and an egg. You need a masculine and a feminine to mix, to make, more in the universe. Bless me, bless me. The universe is all about expansion, so masculine and feminine energy combine to create more complexity. So, the masculine energy is the protective energy, it's the um, provider energy, it's the strength, it's, it's the aggressive personality, right? That pairs nicely with something softer, something more emotional, something, uh, more vulnerable, because the man can protect the woman. This is, like, historically, right, the trope. The man can protect the woman, and the woman can be who the woman is meant to be. The woman is, is, is meant to be the woman. With an A is meant to be vulnerable in a relationship. They are meant to be soft in a relationship. And then the wave of feminism comes and it's like, well, men can, men and women can be both, right? Men can be soft and women can be hard. We have equality and all this shit, right? So now it's like everybody wants to be everything, which is great, but we also have to acknowledge that there is a ma more masculine or more f feminine energy in each of us. And we should have and strive for that inner balance and that equality in ourselves, so that way we can project it into the world. People are always like, oh, we want men and women to be equal. Okay, well it's like, are your masculine and feminine energies equal within you? Because if everybody has both masculine and feminine energies, when are you going to start believing that and actually accepting that? Right? So, you want to be soft and hard. You, uh, Billie Eilish's album, you want to be soft and hard, right? You want to be You wanna be a lover and a fighter, you wanna be proud and humble. You wanna be all of these things because when you can be everything, you can be everything, you can resonate with more people, you can connect with more people, you can have more fulfillment and more love that way. So I'm like, what does the woman get out of being with a mobster? What does the mob wife get out of being the, with the lobster? What does the lobster get? What does the wife of the mobster man get from this experience? What is Sabrina talking about here? Because. She says, heartbreak is one thing, girl, like, this character is somebody who's like, more mind over matter, and like, she's gonna be using logic more than her feelings, right? Heartbreak's one thing, girl, like, I can handle heartbreak, heartbreak's not that bad. My ego, though, that's another thing that you're gonna mess with, right? My ego. I don't want you to mess with my ego. Because that's when you know you're like, that affects everything. Like, heartbreak, you can put on a show for somebody else. If you're feeling heartbreak, you can go out in the world and pretend that you're fine. You can get your work done and do the things you need to do. If your ego is hurt, your personality changes, right? And maybe your personality changes when you're heartbroken. Maybe you're a little bit. more sad or whatever, but because you're trying to appear like you are not heartbroken and you are just trying to act like everything's normal for yourself and for everybody else, you can use your ego to do that. But if your ego is also broken, if you are also embarrassed or ashamed, Then you go out in the world and you act embarrassed and ashamed. And that will infect other areas of your life. Whereas you put, like, when you're heartbroken, right? You put a barrier around yourself to make sure that nobody else is going to get hurt. Including yourself. So you protect yourself when you're heartbroken. So you go out in the world and Or if you, if you get to this point, maybe you're so heartbroken, you take a couple days to cry, right? But after that, it's like you have to keep going. You have to keep going. When your feelings are hurt, you have to keep going. So you put a boundary around yourself to protect yourself so you can walk in the world like this and get everything done that you need to get done. If your ego is also hurt, unfortunately, what that means is now those walls are down and you are like, hitting things and you are like upset. Your ego is upset. You're like a child because your ego is very childlike. So when your ego is hurt, you react how a child would react. So for me, I would just break down and cry. That's, that's how I react when I'm upset and my ego is hurt. Or maybe I will start fighting with somebody and I'll be like, well, what do you mean? They get, you get triggered, right? Those are things that the ego is affected. So heartbreak is one thing, dude, but my ego is another. I'm begging. Don't embarrass me, motherfucker. It is so like, she's like, you fuckin embarrass me, like, my friends, my family, the the persona that I've created for myself is gonna come crumbling down and it's gonna be your fuckin fault. You don't wanna see that, girl. That's what she's saying. I'm begging you, don't embarrass me. Please, fucker. If you embarrass me, I'm gonna be fucked. Everybody in my life is gonna think I'm a piece of shit, too. And I can't have that. I can date a piece of shit. Not saying that he's a piece of shit, right? He's just doing shitty things sometimes. Um, you know, I can be with a piece of shit. But it's like, at the end of the day, girl, why are you with a piece of shit then? What does it give you? If you are a mobster wife, why? If your mans is always potentially embarrassing you, always potentially, like, what that means is you thrive in chaos. It means that you absolutely love living life on the edge. You absolutely love, like, Not knowing what's gonna come next, but hoping and praying that everything works out. Because, secretly, inside, you know, you want this person to be a better person. You want this person to show, prove you wrong. That you, you want that because that would mean that you win! You were right! They were better than you thought all along! That's so great! Like, oh, maybe you're not really as bad of a mobster as I thought. Right? That's what she's saying here. And so, you're ultimately getting, you're ultimately edging yourself, To feel right. And that gives you satisfaction. That's what I imagine anyway. If I was a mobster wife, that would be why I would be a mobster wife. Cause I'd be like, oh, like, and again, that piece of like, oh, he's only soft when he's with me. Right? It's like, oh, everybody out in the world thinks that he's like, got his life together and he's so sweet. strong and he's so you know masculine and so violent but when he's with me he's soft and he's he's nice right and so the song isn't like implying that he takes any of that energy out on her right the the the abuse i guess that you could say that he's doing maybe to other people like you see him beat other people up you see him with guns and stuff right so it's like violence towards other people doesn't necessarily translate in this song to violence towards her. But the violence ultimately that she's doing to herself is by putting herself in these situations where instead of creating a stable environment for herself with somebody who, you know, isn't going out and doing those things, she doesn't want that. If she wanted that, she would get it. It's those people around her that love her that are like judging her like, girl, please stop doing this. Right. It's because she says that right from the get she sets us up right from the get I know I have good judgment I know I have good taste. It's funny and it's ironic that nobody else feels that way and why is it funny? It's ironic because of what's about to unfold in the song, right? She knows what's up So it's it's really a good song and I asked myself like We have to start asking ourselves because the song comes out right it hits the masses and now everybody's like oh my gosh like I can see women everywhere being like I relate to this, like, even I relate to this a little bit, like, everybody's acted like this in some way, not mobster wife necessarily, but like, we've all wanted people to change in the past, hoping that they would be better, and then they end up not wanting to do that, we've all been with people like this, every single version of us has been with people like that, so it's like, okay, Why do we do it then? What is fun about it for us to want to change other people for our benefit? And it's like, for me, it's like, I didn't think that there would be other people that I was seeking that really existed. I thought I was like making up fantasy people in my head. So I was like, I'm going to take what I can get right in front of me. I see what it could be. And you know, I think they want to be as good as I want them to be. So let's just have the patience and, and move through it. And see if we get on the other side. So you're waiting again, going back, you're waiting. For the opportunity to be right, because that's what we're taught in our culture, is the opportunity to be right. Right? Like, when we're right, that's the reward, that's the dopamine that happens in school when you get a good grade, that happens when your mom says, good job, that happens when you win a game, that happens when you win anything. It's like, oh, I was right, I did a good job. We are built and grown up on this principle. Oh my gosh, amazing, I did a good job. So when you put work into something, like you want somebody to be a better person or you're a mobster wife and you want them to stop being violent and you're like, please don't embarrass me, you know, you're getting, you're putting the work in and you are waiting for And only after you put so much work in do you realize the reward may never come and you have to assess whether the work you're putting in is worth the wait for that reward. And better yet, do you even need the reward and is the reward as good as what you could get if you went a different path? Sabrina Carpenter, girl, she is like, hitting all the notes. In the song, and in my head. It's just so interesting because, And I hope, it's like I don't know if people will go to this level, like this is a pop song, but it's like this is capturing really an identity crisis, a gender phenomenon, like a feminism moment, a cultural moment, this is, the lyrics are applicable, and that's what makes it a pop song, it's like they're taking a message that Every, almost everybody can resonate with, and they're dressing it up so beautifully in a way that people can enjoy. And that's the beauty of art, right? Like, that's why it's like Sabrina Carpenter's aesthetic. Every element of it, the creative aspect of it, every element in it, has an intention. And we are the audience, you know, when you are making pop music, we are the audience. Everybody is the audience. It's, I want to reach the most people, pop people. And of course, everybody has their niche. Everybody has their favorite artists, but it's like, there is a whole team. thinking about us, the audience, what we want, and they're trying to give it to us. That's what all marketing is. We're asking, what does the customer want? And, or how can we make the customer want something? So there's always two questions going on when somebody is making money or off of, off of an audience, right? It's what does the customer want? How can we give it to them? And then. How can we tell the customer what they want? And typically it's a nice little loop. It's a nice little cycle, right? It's like Sabrina Carpenter. gives what she thinks we want, and then we say what we want, and, and now the social media sphere, you can hear, and focus groups, and research, and, and scraping AI data, you know what the customer wants. So then it becomes, now the people at the top, who now know what all of us want, can say, okay, knowing what they want, how can we get them to want this thing over here, and then make a billion dollars off of it? And that's what, like, tech companies do. It's that simple really. Tech companies have all of our data so they know what we want and then they know how to nudge us most easily in a direction of something we may not even know we want yet but if exposed to it they know we would want it. So then all they have to do is expose us to the content and know they're going to get a sale. It's crazy. It's crazy manipulation. Let's go back to what my therapist Dawn told me this weekend, which is what is manipulation? Because I was like, isn't manipulation like, cause I said, I always, I always feel manipulative when I say something and then somebody does what I want. And she's like, honey, it's only manipulation. If you are trying to get somebody to do something that, that, that is not good for them. That is. not what they want. She's like, if you say something or do something and it makes another person want something, that is not manipulation. That is just somebody wanting something in response to you, and that's normal, right? So manipulation on a mass scale would be trying to give an audience something that is bad for them. So that's where we move into things like cigarettes, social media for kids, right? Junk food. Those, that's mass manipulation because the companies that are selling information, like buying and selling information, are doing so to get people to do things that are bad for them so that they can benefit. That's manipulation. If somebody like coerces you into doing something and says like if you don't do, like threatens you, if you don't do this then I'm gonna kill you. It's like oh well they were threatened to do it but it's like they didn't make them do it, they still had, they still had a choice to do it or die, right? Like, so that's the idea, it's like you still always have a choice. But if you're coerced into it, if you're nudged into it, do you really have a choice? Do you really have free will? And that's where I always land when I get on these topics. And it's a little bit frustrating because thinking like this made me want to get off the internet and not even like open my eyes. Like, and watch advertisements and stuff, because I was like, Oh, it's all manipulation, like, how am I supposed to know what I want? But once I got more in touch with myself and my feeling space, I was able to feel what I want. Like, not just know, like, ego, but feel what I want. Like, heartbreak is one thing, the ego is another, right? So, our ego is very easily manipulated. Our heart is easily manipulated. It's also very easily manipulated, but when both of them are on the same page, that's usually how you know there's more alignment in your choice. So I try to make choices that aren't just logical, but also what my heart wants, because that's a very aligned choice. they also like program into us that your head and your heart will always be in conflict, right? Like in all the famous movies and in culture and stuff, it's always like, my head's going one way but my heart's going another, and like you should never follow your feelings. You should use them to inform. You should never follow your ego. You should use it to inform. And it's like, you as the omniscient you, as consciousness of your whole being, your body, your mind, your, like, of being the you that is in touch with all parts of you. The energy that is flowing through all of you should take all the information from the head, from the heart, from the ego, from the bones, from the toes, from the feet, all the information. And that is what's going to feel the best is when you make choices from that spot. And that's what I call alignment. That's what I call like making being present. There is nothing better than being present than like feeling like You're here right now. You, you understand where you are right now. And it's such a rare find these days because technology offers us so many mirrors. If you imagine you're always looking in a mirror, how do you feel what it's like to be alone? If you are always surround, if you're in a room of mirrors, How do you ever feel what it's like to be alone? You would have to close your eyes. But even then, you close your eyes, now you're losing a dimension of perception. So if you're always looking in a mirror, which is representative of all the media and all the stimulation that we have. If you're always looking in a mirror, you will never know yourself. You can never be in isolation. You're always going to be in relation to something, um, whether it be the air you breathe or, you know, the sights you see, but you want to be at least in touch with that part of you. And if you don't know it exists or it's never come out, then how are you ever going to be in touch with all of you at once? And, I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say that I, I'm not going to stand here and say either that I am in touch with all of myself, but it is my goal every single day to know more and more of myself so I can get all the information I can from not just childlike me, not just, like, triggered me, mad me, you know, smart me, stupid me, anxious me, all of these different versions of me, when they all talk to each other, they share information, and then it's like it gives me all All the information to know how I want to move forward in a way that makes me the happiest And maybe that's an obscure concept to people but it makes sense visually to me like and I am a very visual thinker So if I can metaphorically visualize the things that are in my life and map them onto some simple, simple concepts. That's how I integrate them into my everyday life. So, you know, listening to Sabrina Carpenter's Please, Please, Please, I'm thinking about all these macroscopic visions of feminism and manipulation and mob wives and like women and masculine and feminine and the energy dynamic and like flow, right? There are so many beautiful ways we can interpret art and that's why it's so beautiful to. to have access to this stuff but also having the recognization and the understanding this is pop music this is made for everyone this is made to to reflect the populace. This is a populace message. So what is this telling us? It's telling us that a lot of people resonate with the themes of this song. And what are we going to do with that information now? How exciting, how blessed are we to be able to understand how so many people feel? Are we going to use it as a means to connect? Or are we going to use it and be like, Oh, do you like Sabrina Carpenter? Oh no, she's like really popular. Like, I don't know. I don't get the hype. Like if you don't get the hype, you're choosing. to resist an understanding of the populace. Like, you're not interested in knowing everyone, which is fine. Not everybody's meant to know everyone. I kind of want to get to know everyone. I think it's so fun. Like, the universal law is expansion. More life, cycles of life and death for expansion, expansion of knowledge and wisdom, of love. And I just want to know so much. Not just cognitively, but experientially. And the best way to do that is through people, because there's exponential experiences within each and every one of us. Like, our DNA, hereditarily, goes back thousands and thousands and thousands of generations. How much wisdom do you think that holds? And then, of course, the years we have on this earth, when we were born, our familial heritage, our friends, our histories. And when you meet one person, you're meeting all of them. all of them. You're meeting all of that person in that moment. And for me, when somebody meets me, I want them to meet all of me and I get to decide, well, that's not really true. I was gonna say, when I meet people, I don't want them to meet all of me because not everybody is meant to meet all of you. Like when somebody meets you, you are looking in a mirror and you're going to know what this person feels like. What does it feel like to be with this person? That's how you can assess how much of you you'd like to show to this person, how much of this person do you want them to meet, right? Because if you are this infinite being that has all of these dimensions, are you going to meet somebody and show them all right away? No, you wouldn't be s Like, for me, I wouldn't stop talking, and, like, I couldn't sh I couldn't possibly show them all of me in one moment, because they would be overwhel I mean, anybody would be overwhelmed to meet that much of a person. If you brought all of yourself to every interaction, everybody would be overwhelmed, because you're the only one meant to carry all of that. Right? They have their own person that they're carrying. They don't need all of you. You are your own entity. When you enter a relationship, a friendship, when you meet somebody, you're exchanging and you're creating a cultivated space to share information. And you want to, you want to go to the people that when you share information, you share your heart space, you share your head space, you feel good, you're excited, you are hopeful, right? You want to be alive more. That's the people you want to spend time with. Those are the mirrors you want to look in. And sometimes you want to look in mirrors that show you the parts of yourself that were hidden and how beautiful for you to get to discover parts of you that were hidden through somebody else. That's pretty beautiful. And that's what I think about on a daily basis. And I consider myself blessed. I used to struggle a lot. I'd be like, Oh, I overthink. Oh my gosh, why do I have existential dread? And it's like, there's so much to know in this world. And what a beautiful gift for me to be able to try to comprehend all of it. It's kind of fun. Like, I understand that I'm never going to get to the bottom of the barrel of information in my life. I'm never gonna have it all figured out. I'm never gonna understand everything. But every single day when I learn a little bit more from a person, from a book, from a TV show, from a comment on my TikTok live, like, I hear wisdom from every single person. It is such a joy to hear a different perspective of this life. Like, I'm only one person. I'm limited in that way. I want to hear what everybody else's experiences are like, because I know there's so many of us. And like I said, why are there so many of us on this earth? Because there must be a need for all of these different people. So why not figure out why all of us are so beautiful and so special in here for a reason? That's so fun to me, and it should be fun to everybody else. Well, I don't want to prescribe onto everybody else, but I definitely consider myself blessed having this mindset, and it has helped me so much. Just appreciate the people around me, both people that trigger me and don't, and it's allowed me to meet some beautiful people. It's also put me in situations where I am much too tolerant, and that's okay too. That is something we are all working on. Including Taylor Swift. You know? Alright. Thank you all so much for watching. I absolutely loved making this episode. I pulled over to the side of the road to make this episode. I felt really passionate about the topic. I think it, like, pop music and Sabrina Carpenter is just such a beautiful mirror for us to really examine and get creative with our thought process in a fun and exciting way. I definitely consider myself blessed that she released this song. Her album comes out August 23rd, three days after my birthday, so I'm very excited about that. The end of summer, going into fall, you know, a Sabrina Carpenter album. That'll be amazing. So I hope you all consider yourselves blessed today. I hope you all consider yourselves, and if that means pulling over on the side of the road to create a video diary of your thoughts, then I wish you the absolute best time. if you want support on your journey, to considering yourself and most importantly considering yourself blessed. Feel free to reach out to me, um, you can leave a comment on the YouTube video, reach out to me on TikTok at Lana J Dell. Um, my link tree is there. You can check out all my stuff. Let me know what you think. I always love to hear different perspectives as you guys know and hopefully we can connect and work together. Love you. It's a gopher! Wait, let me see if I can show you. Do you see him? Okay, he's right there. Do you see him moving? I really am blessed.