E24 Interview with the host, Nico Van de Venne, on Everlasting Fulfilment

Ever wondered what truly drives personal fulfillment for high achievers? Nico Van De Venne, a veteran mentor and coach for top-tier CEOs and founders, joins us to unravel the secrets behind everlasting fulfillment. Nico takes us through his transformative journey, from grappling with burnout and depression across various industries, including nuclear and IT, to discovering the life-changing practices of mindfulness and meditation. Learn how shifting from a goal-oriented mindset to a journey-oriented approach can bring joy to your everyday activities and help you understand the deeper motivations behind your quest for success.

Leadership isn't just about hitting milestones; it's about enjoying the process and staying authentic. Nico dives into the pressures and isolation that come with holding the top spot, a phenomenon he calls 'CEO disease.' He stresses the critical importance of having a trusted confidant to navigate these challenges. Whether you're a young leader chasing your next big achievement or a seasoned CEO reflecting on your journey, Nico’s insights will help you balance professional success with personal fulfillment. Don’t miss out on this deeply insightful conversation that could transform not just your leadership style, but your entire approach to life.

Transcript

Nico Van de Venne: 0:03

Let me invite you to sit back, drop your jaw, tongue and shoulders, take a deep breath and, if you wish, close your eyes for a moment. In a few seconds, you just jumped from head to heart, opening up, to receive even more value and fulfillment out of your business and life in today's episode. More value and fulfillment out of your business and life in today's episode. I'm your host, nico van de Venne, confidant to successful CEOs, founders, entrepreneurs striving to achieve everlasting fulfillment. Welcome to the KAG Masterclass with AJ. Subject the path to everlasting fulfillment for high achieving leaders. Enjoy.

Ajay: 0:56

Welcome to this very special edition of the KAG Masterclass Live, the show which ensures that you profit from your time spent here with experts, either through the industry, insights, information or simply learning from them. And today we have Nico Van De Ven. He's a confident mentor, coach for successful CEOs and founders, business and executive coach for high achievers. Welcome to the show, Nico. Thank you for having me, aj, you are welcome, welcome. Welcome to the show. Welcome to india in this online form. Uh, nico, and I'm sure not just in india, but a lot of people across the globe, will benefit from what we'll be talking about. We'll be talking about the path to everlasting fulfillment. So, nico, before we come uh to this topic, I want to uh to understand a bit more about you. You have such a uh, you know, long, long, long career with nuclear industry, legal, it, telecom. I just want to understand all that for the audience so that they know who they are listening to yeah, thank you for the for that beautiful question.

Nico Van de Venne: 2:07

Um, I have a history of um evolving in jobs. Um, I basically have been going from one career point to another uh, depending on on the opportunities that came in front of me, enjoying the route um towards uh. I think the last project that I'm on right now is a nuclear industry where I'm a competence and training manager as a freelancer and um, I have had a amazing things happen to me in the past. I've gone through it. I've went in telecom, done sales, I've been a leader of three 300 plus people, um, so, yeah, it's a exciting, exciting past with with ups and downs. So, yeah, and that's one of the reasons why I ended up in looking for that fulfillment indeed absolutely, absolutely.

Ajay: 2:58

I'm going to be a solo pro runner and, and so you know about all this landscape, even about high achievers and business people. So when you talk of everlasting fulfillment, what is this everlasting fulfillment? Sometimes, you know, uh, when I think of fulfillment, it makes me, uh, you know, remember about, uh, some fulfillment store or something or or maybe any sort of a good fulfillment. But everlasting fulfillment, that's a big word. I want to understand that for the audience.

Nico Van de Venne: 3:34

Yeah, well, basically I was looking for a different way of approaching the purpose part of our existence, and as a leader in the past, I've noticed that we've gone through a lot of goal settings, which is, which is beautiful, and it's necessary for everybody to know where they're going, and so on. But what I've learned in my my so many career changes is that I was always searching for something new, something else, something whatever was coming after it. So the question of what else is there was kind of a driving force for me, and then I started to break down mentally break down at some point where I got panic attacks and it actually ended me up into a burnout situation where I then, uh, actually ended up in a full-blown depression. I was really in in the depths of the darkness, as they say, and crawling out of that I learned some beautiful techniques. They all have hype names these days, you know, for mindfulness for meditation. Okay, meditation is not really names these days. You know mindfulness for meditation. Okay, meditation is not really a hype, but you know what I mean. They make it beautiful words around it, but when you're right in that mess, you just find all the tools that you can find to grow towards a better person that you can be.

Nico Van de Venne: 5:02

So one of the things that I've learned is to become more fulfilled, and that is by doing a clear mental switch, going from goal-oriented to journey-oriented. And that's where more fulfillment comes from. And my point of everlasting fulfillment is that you, as a person, learn to be fulfilled every moment of the day so that you really do what you love doing, and the world is challenging to find your roots on what you really want to do. So that's one part that I started to learn that I am a switcher. I love doing different things. Even now, I am running that freelance project, I'm running my own business, I'm running my own podcast. I'm on your podcast right now. I'm a multi-achiever and it's amazing when you start understanding what you really love doing and then you know, put the extra layer of being fulfilled every day on that. It's amazing, yeah.

Ajay: 6:13

Absolutely, and it's such a nice thing to see you know that you have a bit of freedom in this hectic, hectic life, only because you are able to look at life and the things that you do as a journey and not as a goal that needs to be achieved. So I want to understand this. You said about looking life as a, not as a goal. Uh, in in terms of goal orientation, but in terms of journey orientation. Help us a bit understand. Why do we go wrong? Uh, and people trying to say there's nothing called coming second. Nobody remembers the second person. Always come first, always look at achieving the goals. Everything has become so Target oriented and there is nothing before you know and there's nothing beyond that. How do you help us understand, especially the young people, about this whole thing?

Nico Van de Venne: 7:02

you know, young people, young leaders who are looking at you know at a long life yeah, well, in all honesty don't don't get me wrong putting out goals is is is very good, because you need to have a direction of where you want to go, but it's the, it's the extra layer of that striving towards that goal that come kind of brings you into a point where you're overreacting on it, and that's where you sometimes need to, you know, relax and look at the moment you're in and start looking at the goals that are coming up, but also at the moment in the journey that you're taking as well. So take the time to enjoy what's happening, even sometimes when it's a bad thing that is happening. It's also a form of a present that you can learn from and learning from these little you know, gratitudes to presents, to, to challenges and so on. I'll give you a concrete example of something that is that happened in the past for me. So I was um, almost.

Nico Van de Venne: 8:03

We had a long weekend planned for a holiday, which was an official holiday, and at that point it's a it's it was a virus came into the office, which was the ms blast virus, which was known at the time, turned down windows to town computers and started them up instantly. So we were like, okay, we need to solve this by Monday, because all the lawyers were going to come back in and they needed to work. So we spent the whole weekend trying reconfiguring all kinds of systems and so on. And what I noticed after the weekend? We spent this beautiful time together as an IT department, building something really quickly, and it was difficult and it was harsh, and so on. We spent hours and hours through the night to get everything fixed and Monday morning everybody was up and running. Nobody knew that this thing happened over the weekend. So we just you know, premium service. We were very happy with ourselves. But then I thought, wow, I spent the whole weekend enjoying this beautiful period of doing stuff.

Nico Van de Venne: 9:02

And I am at the point where we're ending this and it's like, okay, did I actually enjoy this? Did I actually experience this to the fullest possible? Because those are the periods in time where you really learn things. You know it's not when it's easygoing and it's just go with the flow and so on. No, it's when the times are harsh and difficult. That's when you really learn what life is about and I've started to understand that even in pain, you can have fulfillment. It sounds kind of contradictive, but it's very strange when you start looking at whatever happens in the world. It is good, it is something that it comes in in your life to be, to be used as something that you are going to learn.

Nico Van de Venne: 9:50

And that's where a lot of young people, they move quickly. I've been there, by the way, I was 25 years, 24 years at the time. I was moving quickly. You know I wanted to get to get these things done and so on. But coming to 45 years of age, you start realizing and time kind of slows down because you start reflecting on your life, like, oh, I'm halfway there. Well, I'm targeting for 140, but everybody agrees with that, so 140 is the target. So I'm not halfway. But in the end you start reflecting on these things and you start clearly seeing that, as a leader, sometimes these things are so important that's the key moment that your team becomes a team. When your team has has you at their back as their leader, and that's very important to also be there as a leader, but as a person as well, as a leader, but as a person as well.

Nico Van de Venne: 10:46

And then you don't get lost in the excitement. And then you climb the mountain and then suddenly you're at the top of the mountain and looking on the other side is like, hmm, what's going to happen now? This was exciting, I enjoyed this, I feel fulfilled and all these adrenalins and so on are going on. But then the high peak comes up and then you're sitting there. It's like a gold medalist. They get the gold on their chest and you have three kind of reactions on that. One is, wow, I am a gold medalist, I am enjoying this, I am going to party all night long because I've been spending so many years on this.

Nico Van de Venne: 11:21

And then you have another reaction. They're like wow, wow, okay, it's done. Finally, I'm finished, it's, it's yeah, I've got it now. Yeah. And then they move on and life goes on and they might even go for a next gold medal. But then you have a lot of and this is this is actually based on research a lot of gold medalists who actually go into depression right after achieving their gold. And that's where I want to catch the people, right in front of going to that gold point, and tell them you know, hold on, enjoy the journey. That's where the story is, it's not at the end, it's where the journey is. So that's why I try to make this something that people are aware of more and more. Yeah, that's my goal, that's my mission.

Ajay: 12:08

Absolutely, absolutely, nico. Now, in terms of leaders, why is it that they get beset with several issues? Is it because of themselves, or is it because of others? Or why do they get so overwhelmed several times? I want to understand, because you try to bring them out of those situations. I want to understand the problem and the cure.

Nico Van de Venne: 12:33

Yeah. So basically, leaders are under pressure, there are expectations, there are perceptions that are created towards leaders. I've always tried to be a leader in front of the horses. So you have a horse's carriage and you either have a manager sitting on the carriage or you have a leader in front of the horses, or you have a leader in between the horses. So I've always strived to be at the front of the carriage, at the top of the game, and those expectations follow you. So you, as a leader, you're trying to achieve those expectations.

Nico Van de Venne: 13:10

But people also have perspectives and they want you to, you know, fill in those requirements and those perspectives. They want to see you as that person and you're going to act as that person. But you're an individual and as a leader, you become isolated because, let's be honest, people have agendas and it's normal to have an agenda and, especially when you're in middle management or in high achieving CEO level management, you have the board of directors who you have to report to, and you have your employees you have to report to, and then you have other parties externally, internally. As a leader in that position, you become isolated and you start focusing on achieving those points where you're actually filling in those perspectives and those goals and all those expectations. And then at some point, you're sitting there, sitting there alone, and that's the whole point. You're sitting there alone and there's nobody you can talk to about who you are and how you're feeling or how you're reacting to the situation.

Nico Van de Venne: 14:13

And that's where my role as a confidant comes in, because I have a very specific target where I do not publish anything. I do not even mention my customers, as, as you know, a lot of people use them as reference points of uh, what do you call it? Uh, witnesses and so on on their website. I don't mention my customers explicitly because I want to everything to be confidential At that level. You cannot have anything slip out. So I call it confidant. I do not call it coach or mentor. No, I'm a confidant.

Nico Van de Venne: 14:49

And that's where, when the people come to me, they are isolated and we start having very deep, very honest conversations, because those are the three things that I work on.

Nico Van de Venne: 15:00

It is radical truth, it is clear communication and deep dive. And then we go on to continuously try to find a way that they can enjoy more and be more themselves in what they do, and that has an effect on a lot more than just themselves. Because, from my perspective, why do I target CEO founders and entrepreneurs? Because they are at the top of the game. They are the leaders of X amount of people, and that could be 10 people, that could be 15,000 people or 100,000 people, no matter how many that is. As long as they feel better, they can be a better leader, which causes the employees and all the environments to become better, and you have a chain effect or a snowball effect that comes to those companies. So if I get to the point where I make them a better leader, I make the company a better environment to work in and all those employees are much happier to be in that company.

Ajay: 16:07

Absolutely. Now you also talk about a CEO disease. What is this CEO disease? That's a new thing that I'm learning today.

Nico Van de Venne: 16:18

Yeah, so there's different aspects on the CEO disease and, like I mentioned, isolation is one of them, another one, for instance. So there are several symptoms that exist. The CEO disease is basically a CEO, so it becomes isolated. But also people look at a CEO for reporting, so the CEO gets a lot of information from them. And because they get information, or they send him an Excel sheet or a visual or on the newest power bi or whatever, but they tweak it so that the information is good towards their perspective. And that's where a CEO can either become very complacent and just look at the numbers and say, wow, we're actually doing quite well with this company, while under those different layers, before the information gets to the CEO, there might be some really big flags, red flags, coming up. And that's where the CEO disease comes in, where a CEO, you know, kind of gets a veil in front of the person and asking those difficult questions of is this the real data that you're showing me? Are you actually, you know, showing me the reality of the company? That's one symptom of CEO disease, because people try to be, you know, on a good spot with the CEO and so on. But then on the other side you have a completely other symptom. That could be a CEO who doesn't listen to his employees. He's got one mind saying that's the strategy, we're going that way, et cetera, et cetera, and for some CEOs that works great. Look at our good old friend Steve Jobs. He was very rigid in his direction and he got the results. But then you have other CEOs that come into a company and they don't mess it up, but they have this mindset of doing their way or the highway. And that's where they should start to understand that asking the dumb questions is very important, because those questions have impact on everybody.

Nico Van de Venne: 18:25

One of the ways that I always had my leadership role was my people were at the table and I always said I'm the dumbest person in the room period. You're the experts, you're going to tell me what's going on and I need to know the information that I need to make the right decisions. So you're the experts. You're going to tell me what's going on and I need to know the information that I need to make the right decisions. So you're the expert. Am I, in reality, the dumbest person in the world in the room? No, I'm not. I know what's going on.

Nico Van de Venne: 18:49

I specifically search for information, but also by doing this, by saying you are the experts, I empower the employees because they know, oh, if I bring good information to this guy, he will make the right decisions. And again, that's the danger, of course, if you get the wrong information on an excel sheet or so on. So those are a couple of the ceo disease symptoms there are. There are quite a few more and I've got a whole series on my LinkedIn newsletter about all the different kinds of CO symptoms. Co disease symptoms yeah, Absolutely.

Ajay: 19:26

There is much to learn from you, and there is a lot to learn from your podcast also, because this is just one episode. Got several from the everlasting podcast. So tell us a bit about your podcast, Nico podcast.

Nico Van de Venne: 19:43

So tell us a bit about your podcast. Uh, nico, yeah, so, um, since I think was december, I decided to to launch a new podcast and I said, okay, let's talk to ceos and let them come with their struggles, with their inspiration towards other leaders that could be of any size of company, because a lot of people learn from each other by just listening to what they're talking about. I'm explaining a couple of things here that a lot of people might say oh, that's interesting. I've got, for instance, one of the techniques that I use and it's one of the episodes that I'm going to launch this week. I think is the four alarm system. In the morning I get four alarms with specific steps that remind me of the fulfillment story again. So it's kind of a way of bringing out these things. So that's what I do with the podcast.

Nico Van de Venne: 20:27

On one side, I give basic information of my coaching on that podcast and then, on the other side, I interview CEO founders and entrepreneurs who have had a lot of success but really plainly tell you about what the struggle is with success, because money is a beautiful thing, it's something that you can use, but it is still a tool.

Nico Van de Venne: 20:50

It is a form of energy displacement, where you say I have done an action and I get a sort of energy instead that is a piece of paper or a digital system, and then you move that on to somebody else to ask for another service. But we load this thing with so many things and then the only big picture sometimes that comes up is money means equals success, which is almost never through, because when you come to success and you start understanding what success really is, it is the building towards that success, that that's what's enjoyable, that's what's fulfilling, and so on. So these kinds of things come up in the podcast and, yeah, I've had some really, really amazing people on the podcast. Just recently I had Jake Stahl, which is a sales guy, and he's got amazing techniques, um. So there's a lot of people coming on the podcast. I focus worldwide, so I don't limit myself to to europe or anything, uh. So yeah, I think I run a podcast episode every week, uh almost twice a week, one that I do solo and one I do with an interview.

Ajay: 21:59

Wonderful, wonderful. So for those people who would like to learn more about you, more from you, be your client, what's the best way for them to do so?

Nico Van de Venne: 22:09

Well, basically just go to the website, so just prop this together, nicovondevenacom, or find me on LinkedIn, but I think, most importantly, they might contact you first, aj, because you're an amazing guy. Thank you for asking those beautiful questions. Yes, absolutely yeah. No, find me on. I'm over the internet, you can find me, and I have a very unique name that helps.

Ajay: 22:35

Absolutely, absolutely. With this, it's a wrap on this very special edition of the kj masterclass live. Thank you so much indeed for joining us.

Nico Van de Venne: 22:46

Thank you thank you for listening to the everlasting podcast. Let me leave you with a few questions to answer in the comments. How do you see the different topics we discussed during this interview? What are your thoughts? What stood out for you? Let us know in the comments or just send us your feedback. We launch new episodes weekly. Don't miss any by ensuring you are subscribed to the show. Click the follow button now. We depend on the organic growth of the podcast to inspire more and more people. So by giving us a five-star review and sharing this episode with at least one of your friends who might be interested in the subject, you will significantly help more people become inspired. But more than anything, I am grateful to you for taking the time to listen to the show. Successful CEO, founder or entrepreneur who has inspiring words to say, feel free to contact us for an interview at contact at nicovandevenacom. Thank you for listening. We will see you again soon with more inspirational conversations on achieving everlasting fulfillment.