The TakeAway

Ephesians 5:22-32 The Upward Relationship

Pastor Harry Behrens Season 2 Episode 15

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How can understanding the sacrificial love of Jesus transform your marriage? This episode of the Takeaway promises to uncover the profound spiritual truths behind Ephesians 5:22-32, exploring how a wife's submission and a husband's sacrificial love are intertwined acts of devotion to God. We unravel common misconceptions by referencing Genesis 2:21-23, affirming that women are created as helpers, not inferiors, and emphasize the importance of husbands cherishing their wives. Through a deep dive into 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Titus 2:3-5, we paint a picture of marriage as a harmonious partnership that glorifies God and transforms lives.

Next, we reflect on how Christ's sacrificial love serves as the ultimate blueprint for marital relationships. Drawing from Revelation 9:13-14 and Ephesians 5:29-30, we highlight the critical role of unity within marriage and the church. We also discuss the tangible benefits of a single-income household and the spiritual growth that comes from prioritizing God. Understanding divine truths can be challenging due to the impact of sin, but this episode provides practical advice on confession and reliance on God's guidance to live out these biblical principles effectively.

We conclude by examining divine election through Ephesians 1:15-23, focusing on God's sovereignty in enlightening our hearts and minds. By exploring Paul's writings and the role of the Holy Spirit, we reveal how scripture guides us to foster loving, Christ-centered relationships. The episode wraps up with a heartfelt prayer for faithfulness and an exploration of the parent-child relationship as a mirror of God's love. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how to cultivate divine love and unity in your family life, and don't forget to share your thoughts and questions with us to enrich our ongoing conversation.

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Hello, welcome again to the Takeaway. I'm your host, pastor Harry Behrens, and in today's episode we're going to be covering Ephesians 5, verses 22-32, the marriage relationship. Before we begin, I want to invite you to share any questions or feedback you may have by using the Text Us link in the episode description, as your input is invaluable in shaping future episodes episodes here at the Takeaway. We are committed to creating content that supports your spiritual growth, and we can only do that with your feedback, so please let us know your thoughts, as we would love to hear from you. So, as we saw in our recent episodes, we discussed how to imitate Christ as we navigate this world, first, by separating ourselves from living as those who chase after the passions of the flesh, and second, we are to be fruitful in our walk by shining our light into the darkness made only possible by a life transformed by the Holy Spirit living in us. As we have seen throughout Paul's letter, we have learned how to discern whether or not we are maturing in the faith or if we are just a wolf in sheep's clothing. So now, as we move into the next section, we're going to learn how to imitate Christ as displayed within the marriage relationship. God has ordained the marriage to reflect his relationship with us and the church. The way we act and treat each other is a huge indicator of a transformed life, or one that isn't. If we are truly made new in Christ, we will have healthy, functional and enjoyable relationships that reflect Christ's love in them. Jesus gave us the best example of that by showing us that his relationship with the Father was his primary concern, and everything he did and said flowed out of that. He surrendered humbly to the Father, not as one who was less than, but as one who was loved more than anyone or anything else. He knew the Father loved him perfectly and that by submitting to his will, the Father would only do what was best for him. The marriage relationship is the first one we come to that is meant to reflect this truth in us.

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When a wife submits to her husband and her husband sacrifices for her, they both submit to the Father and glorify Him as they model the type of trust and love that Jesus has for the Father. As we will see, surrender leads to submission, which should result from love, not fear. The question is what do we submit to? Well, john 14, verse 31. But that the world may know that I love the Father and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do Arise, let us go. Hence Jesus submitted to the Father, demonstrating his love for him. His submission serves as a model for the husband-wife relationship, providing an example for believers, to imitate Ephesians 5, verses 22 to 24. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. In verse 21 from our last episode, we saw that we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and now Paul is giving us an example of that here in the marriage relationship.

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You might be wondering why it is mentioned that wives should submit to their husbands and not the other way around. Well, it's because Paul is referencing the creation story, emphasizing that women or woman was made out of man. Genesis, chapter 2, verses 21 to 23. So the Lord God calls a deep sleep to fall upon the man and, while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

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The woman was created to be a helper to Adam, not a slave or a servant. Many people get this wrong, as we see all over the world that women are treated as lesser than men, and that shouldn't be the case. In no way are they a lesser vessel meant only for man's pleasure and satisfaction, as if intended to cater to all his needs. They are to be seen as treasures and gifts from God to help us accomplish what he has planned. It is a team effort and we should work together to accomplish God's will for our lives. That's why Genesis 2.20 says but for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. Even though Adam was created in the image of God to reflect his glory and take part in it, something was missing. Giving Adam a helper showed that he wasn't complete and that the husband and wife working together reflected more of who God was than Adam on his own.

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Wives are to be treasured as they represent the son's submission to the father and the church's submission to Jesus. Their role is humbling and not easy in any way, shape or form, because husbands tend to make it hard. So many men, so many, take advantage of the woman's desire to help their husband when instead we should cherish them and realize we are incomplete without them. Song of Solomon, chapter 7, verse 10. I am my beloved's and his desire is for me. 1 Corinthians 11, 3. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Ephesians 1, 22-23,. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. Titus 2, 3-5,.

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Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young woman to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their husbands. That the word of God may not be reviled. A wife is a wonderful example of submission and can help her husband gain insight into his relationship with the Lord. Her daily demonstration of submission to us teaches how to submit to the Lord. Men can sometimes struggle with pride, and our wives serve as a powerful example of submission, reminding us that we also need to submit to Christ. Ephesians 4, verses 15-16.

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Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him, who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. So that it builds itself up in love. The relationship between husband and wife, when united as one, has the power to glorify God and receive his blessings. Likewise, unity within the church is not optional. It is essential. When the church acts as a collective engaging in giving, serving, fellowship and prayer, it glorifies God in unison. Ephesians 5, verse 25-28.

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Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Husbands are expected to demonstrate sacrificial love towards their wives. This type of love necessitates the husband's willingness to make selfless and unquestioning sacrifices for the well-being of his spouse. Wives, on the other hand, are expected to exhibit a submissive form of love within the relationship. These dynamics serve as a primary example within the marital partnership. John MacArthur said a Christian husband should not be able to bear the thought of anything sinful in the life of his wife that displeases God. His greatest desire for her should be that she perfectly conforms to Christ, so he leads her to purity.

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The example of love set by Jesus is a lofty one that can only be achieved with the assistance of the Holy Spirit. This requires us to first surrender ourselves to God so that we may imitate the love of Christ, who selflessly loves us. This is the standard of life to which we are called. Before we can live in this way, we need to acknowledge what Christ has done for us and who we are in relation to him. Romans, chapter 5, verse 8,. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, christ died for us. John 3.16,. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 1 John 3.16,. By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. Galatians 2.20,. I have been crucified with Christ. Is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me and the life I now live in the flesh. I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. Ephesians 5.2,. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

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It is so important for the husband to take on the challenges and responsibilities of spiritual warfare so that the wife can thrive in a safe environment. This doesn't imply that the wife is confined to the home. Rather, it symbolizes protecting her from spiritual harm. In times of spiritual attack, the husband stands as a shield for his wife, while she uplifts and equips him to overcome the adversary. It's about tackling challenges as a united front rather than facing them alone, just like in a physical threat. The husband's role is to bravely confront the danger while the wife seeks assistance to ensure their safety. The man is tasked with utilizing his strength to defend his wife under all circumstances, and the wife is dedicated to supporting him in achieving this objective.

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That is what Jesus did when he laid down his life freely. On one hand, he was submitting to the Father's plan to redeem the world and, on the other hand, sacrificing himself for his bride, the church. See a picture of this in Revelation 9, verses 13-14. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood and his name is the word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. His robe was dipped in blood from the winepress of God's wrath. He was the one who did the dirty work, as the husband of the church, and the church was seen following him clothed in fine linen, white and clean. That is a beautiful picture of what a sacrificial love looks like. Wives, make sure you see this.

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Your husband will not always give you what you think you want, like sitting down and having a pleasant conversation, bringing flowers home, complimenting you when you get your hair cut, and so on. It's not that those things aren't good and men should do that. But a godly man is or at least should be out in the world working hard to provide for his family, sacrificing his needs and wants for his wife and children. That is how God designed it to be, and if your husband is doing that, it would only be right for you to help him by cooking dinner and cleaning to make it possible for him to rest when he comes home so that he can go and do it all over again tomorrow. Now, I know this isn't the way most families operate anymore. Usually, both spouses are working and the kids are in daycare. However, just because you must do that, for whatever reason, doesn't mean that's how God designed it.

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My wife left the workforce decades ago to stay home with the children and care for the house. We lost half our yearly income and I had to work twice as hard for half as much. Half our yearly income, and I had to work twice as hard for half as much. But what we lost in finances we gained in unity, love and respect for each other, not to mention the benefits for the children of having mom who was able to be there for them in every way possible. I believe this is why God showed favor to us by giving us two very bright, god-fearing young men as sons. As we decided to put God first in our relationship and do it His way, we found that he blessed us in unimaginable ways. So many families work multiple jobs to gain material things like large homes, fancy cars and to pay for all the sports activities the kids do.

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These are people who value the things of this world and not the eternal promises of God. Our people who value the things of this world and not the eternal promises of God. Our primary desire should be to see our spouses and children saved and devoted to living for God as real life is found there. Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 29 to 30. For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Just as we care for ourselves, we are to care for our wives. We are to nourish and cherish her in such a way as to make her pure before God. We are the living example of God's purification process for us. Christ gives us all that we need for holy living, and we are to make it possible for our wives to do the same.

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2 Peter 1, verses 3 to 4. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him, who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. Do we do that for each other, as God has done for us, or do we use all he has given us for self-satisfaction and the life we want? As we finish this chapter, paul will try his best to explain why this is so hard to understand. He realizes something about the heart. We are dull and blind and need our eyes opened, like he did, to see the truth. The mystery of God's word can only be revealed if we have the veil removed from the eyes of our heart that was placed there because of our sin. Even now, as believers, the sin of the flesh blinds us and dulls our minds. We cannot see unless we submit to God and confess our sins to him.

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1 John 1, verses 5-10. He is in the light. We have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us If we confess our sins. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us.

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2 Corinthians 4, verses 3-6. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing In their case. The God of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God who said let light shine out of darkness, has shown in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. Hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. Paul emphasizes the incredible significance of finding all truth in God and emphasizes the importance of having our eyes open to perceive it. He stresses that only through him can we truly comprehend the truth in his word and the parallels between his decrees, such as marriage and the concept of unity. Living in unity, both within marriage and within the church, is fundamental to understanding the profound mystery of this truth.

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John, chapter 10, verse 30,. I and the Father are one. John 14, 9,. Jesus said to him have I been with you so long and you still do not know me, philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say show us the Father? Ephesians 5, verse 31. This is from Genesis, 2, verse 23. Then the man said.

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Matthew Henry states that the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal, with him, under his arm to be protected and near his heart to be beloved. Ephesians 5, verse 32. This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 1 Corinthians, 2, verse 7. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. The word mystery here identifies some hidden reality from the past that is now made known to us in the New Testament. The marriage has always reflected God's love for us. That mystery is now made known. From the beginning, god has revealed his glory. However, we need our eyes opened to see it.

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2 Corinthians 3, verses 12 to 18. Since we have such a hope, we are very bold. Not like Moses, who put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end, but their minds were hardened, for to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day, whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their hearts, but when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now, the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom, and we all, with unveiled face beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another, for this comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. Paul is attempting his best to remove the veil from people's eyes by comparing the love that God has for us, to the marriage relationship which all cultures and people should understand. Even with Paul's best attempts, this veil can't be removed unless God decrees it to be removed.

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Matthew, chapter 13, verses 10 to 16. Then the disciples came and said to him why do you speak to them in parables? And he answered them to you, it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For to the one who has more will be given and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. Indeed, in their case, the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled. That says you will indeed hear but never understand. And you will indeed see but never perceive. That says you will indeed hear but never understand. And you will indeed see but never perceive. For this people's heart has grown dull and with their ears they can barely hear, and with their eyes they have closed. Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes for they see and your ears for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see and did not see it, and to hear what you hear and did not hear it. Jesus clarifies that it had only been given to some to understand and see the truth. That is, to fulfill God's word, meaning that he keeps the truth from some and gives it to others.

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I was always baffled by this scripture until I saw it through the lens of election. I always skirted over it from a free will perspective because I couldn't explain this in any way that made sense. But, as we have seen, through this letter, paul has made it abundantly clear that God makes the choice and that he alone removes the veils from the hearts of men so that they can know the truth. So that brings us all the way back to Ephesians, chapter 1, where Paul started off this epistle by praying for all who would read it that their eyes would be open to the truth. Since then, paul has made every attempt to illuminate the truth of who God is and what he has done so that we would obey the Father's will. Ephesians 1, verses 15-23.

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For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love towards all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, remembering you in my prayers. That the God of our Lord, jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of the glorious inheritance in the saints and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power towards us who believe, according to the working of a great might, that he worked in christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at the right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. Are you seeing what Paul desires for you to see? Have the eyes of your heart been opened? Do you understand? These words are not about worldly relationships, but about Jesus and his bride. Do you understand your part in this relationship? If not, ask God to teach you and reveal the truth to you.

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John, chapter 16, verse 12 to 14. I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears, he will speak and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. 1 Corinthians 2, 9-16.

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But as it is written, what no eye has seen or ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined. What God has prepared for those who love him. These things God has revealed to us through the Spirit, for the Spirit searches everything in the depths of God, for who knows a person's thoughts except the Spirit of that person which is in him? So also, no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God, and we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom, but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God for they are folly to him and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things but is himself to be judged by no one. For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ. When you have spiritual eyes, you will see that not only does Scripture point to Christ, but that all of creation and things ordained by God, like marriage, do as well.

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Let's pray Father, thank you for the gift of marriage and the work you do to reveal yourself in and through it. I ask that you would help us to be faithful in our relationships, to reflect your glory by imitating Jesus, our Lord and Savior. I know we live in a world that hates this message and doesn't want anything to do with this type of sacrificial or submissive love, because it requires them to give up their desires for yours. My prayer is that you would soften the hearts of people struggling with this so that they may receive the full joy of the Lord. That is far better than anything we could ever strive for in this life. Father, we love you and we thank you In Jesus' name, amen. I want to thank you for joining us today, and I hope this message helped you take a step closer in your relationship with Jesus and that you have a better understanding of just how much God loves you and wants you to know him.

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In our upcoming episode, we're going gonna look at the parent-child relationship as yet another example of imitating God and reflecting his glory into this world. It is yet another way in which we experience his love for us, as we are able to relate to it through the love we have for our children and the respect we have for our parents. Now, before we go, I wanna encourage you to send us a text message from the link provided in the description of this episode. We would love to hear from you Any questions or feedback you may have from today's show, as it helps us produce future episodes that are beneficial to you. In addition, please feel free to use this podcast as a resource to help others and shine a light into the darkness. God bless, and we'll see you next time on the Takeaway.