Ep 163. Birth Story: 10lb Waterbirth Baby

In this episode, Kelly and Tiffanyrecount a memorable birth story from their practice. They discuss the beauty and uniqueness of a 10-pound baby waterbirth, the importance of midwifery care, and reflect on their supportive roles in the birth process. They also engage with listener feedback and talk about the experiences shared during their childbirth education course.

00:00 Welcome to At Home with Kelly and Tiffany

00:18 Introduction

00:44 Reflecting on Past Births

02:29 The Importance of Midwifery Care

04:02 Community Feedback and Review

06:49 The Birth Story: A Repeat Home Birth

18:09 Smooth Labor and Delivery

22:25 The Power of Preparation and Calmness

36:17 Reflection on the Birth Experience

37:40 Closing Thoughts and Childbirth Education

39:51 Links and Further Information

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Submit your answer-on-the-show questions: HERE

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to At Home with Kelly and Tiffany, where naturally minded women gather together as we pursue simplicity and confidence in health alternatives, so we can show up better in our busy lives and feel more at home in our bodies. Join your favorite home birth midwife duo for conversation, candor, and community. You are at home with Kelly and Tiffany I'm Kelly I'm Tiffany. And today we are sharing a, another birth from our practice. And this was a sweet one to look back on because. Of so many reasons we'll kind of get into shortly, but I'm really digging this Self-reflection birth reflection. Way to kind of like share information about birth and about midwifery care and all that good stuff. Yeah. I love, love, love, unpacking views. Burst story is Muslim because there's just dozens of them at this point. How many births have we done as a practice together? Though I wish I would have looked. We had, at one point we kept a board of all the baby names and we had them in order. The sweetest space to like keep track of those things. And when we stopped. Just because I don't know what happened. We moved office spaces and there wasn't like a great big space to keep a name board up. We had. 60 something. And since then at that point, and that was about two years ago, I think. Yeah. And then obviously we pulled back clinically. Quite a bit. So there's. You know, maybe. 10 more or something from there? Yeah. Some. We've got, I don't know, 70 or 80 birth stories to share at some point. I mean, what a, what a beautiful variety. And I think that, that, I think that helps a lot to hear stories from people who practice almost the exact same way all the time. But are willing and able to make accommodations where needed. And I mean, of course, we're going to share all kinds of stories of like when other complications have come up, when it wasn't appropriate to birth at home anymore. Transfers before, you know, labor even begins and there's that stuff that comes up. But the majority of what we shared in 90%. Of these stories are all going to be centered around a really specific. And niched way of managing birth. Yeah. And I think it's different than hearing, like here are your options on X, Y, Z, or something like this is just a cool way to not only hear other women's experiences, but to hear some of the clinical pieces actually played out in real life and what birth can be like. And sometimes that's very straightforward and sometimes it's not, and that's helpful to see like the variety or what it can be also like. Like what midwifery care looks like over the spectrum of many, many births. Yeah. I hope it gives women perspective on the what's possible. Like the, that, that we don't just give midwifery care accidentally. And sometimes it works out great. And we're like, oh, dodged a bullet there. But like we, that anticipation and the expectation is that. Things stay low risk and women are satisfied with their birth experience. Yeah. And I think something so far, even though we've only had a few of these that's kind of stood out, is that an, each of those births that we've shared about already at the, from the start of our practice, we kind of had to do with something at each one of them like that we've had to kind of manage or shift or maybe not be as hands-off because we're seeing something and we're like, oh, we need to, this is why we're here to kind of bring something back into normal. And I think that's really helpful to hear also some of those pieces where. How that looks when you're at home. Yeah. Managed care versus expectant and versa. Yeah. And just the perspective. It's very cool. Okay. Before we jump into today's birth story, we have a review to read, and this one comes from Ashley. E Ashley and she gives us five stars and says, Mondays are for midwives. Ooh. Oh, that's wait. Okay. Putting that in my pocket. I like that she's doing something here. Mondays are for midwives. I always look forward to and love listening to Kelly and Tiffany every Monday and reading their weekly birth story on Instagram. Such a great start to my week. I was half tempted to give four stars only what. Because they were taking time off the month. I was due with my baby last year. Sorry. Cries. Last, I cannot fault them for having a healthy work-life balance. Phew. I was so sad that they weren't able to attend my birth, but I'm grateful for these ladies. Nonetheless, their education, resources and gifts have certainly blessed my life. You gals RAC. That's really sweet. Thank you, Ashley, for giving us a nice review, but thank you for not giving this a four star review. Anybody who has like, I don't know, a personal. Qualm with anything that we're doing here, I would just invite you to send us an email and we will work it out on the backend. Yeah, we will. We. We'll come to an agreement that all parties can be happy with. And no four star reviews will be given. We don't. No one has to say, I might need to give a four-star review. But she brings up a good point. We. We have pulled back in a way that feels more manageable for our families in particular. And that is. Acceptable and okay. And wanting to give some encouragement to you if you were listening. And that is like a feeling that you are feeling called towards and. That is, it's not a, it's not a bad thing to listen to, even if it doesn't fully make sense to everybody else around you. When things are going well with what you're building putting priorities in place. Yes, absolutely. And that the. Decision to not take on the load that we had going a couple of years ago was. It took a very long time for us to make that decision. And we did not take it lightly and we are still balking out the. I don't know, consequences of that. And working through what that feels like to have natural consequences, to doing a thing that is still the best and right thing to do, but it's still as hard. Yes. Hard to say no to people, hard to say no to great people like Ashley E. Ashley. If you are listening, Ashley. Let us know that you heard us read your review and we will buy you a drink. Woo. Okay. So today we are talking about a repeat home birth. This was the fourth or fifth or something birth in our practice so far. And so it was extra sweet because we were basically a brand new practice. I think the time that we got hired on by this client, I don't even, we had maybe a birth under our belt together. But she found us because her previous midwife had moved. And her previous midwife recommended us as somebody that like, oh, I know you. And I know these ladies. And I think that that would be like a perfect fit. And I remember being like, Tiffany. Other people in our community are like respectful of what we're doing. It felt like very validating. I remember asking her what it, what does she say exactly? I need to know the details. I know.'cause we don't, we didn't know that other midwife particularly well. And I'm like, what do you mean she, what do you mean? She suggested and refer, like what, what do you think she. What do you think she thought. Did she give you other recommendations to. It was just like, I couldn't, I couldn't put the pieces together that like we were referrable yet. Yes. It felt so new. And so I feel like that was a shift in my mind of like, oh, we're within this community and actually doing a thing that is. Like, I don't know. I'm just respected by other people because the fact that she even recommended it was super sweet. But hearing her first birth story, I was like, oh, this is like, She knew what she wanted from the get go of her first pregnancy. And so coming around this time, she was like even more confident or what I would assume more confident. There was honestly, I mean, we educated, but there wasn't a ton that she needed, like support on, which was a different experience than the people we had taken care of before anybody that really I had taken care of in. As a student, either where I was like, this woman is just walking in. What she knows to be true about herself as a mom, about what she desires from her experience. Like just very in it. And that was an encouragement to me, both as a midwife, but also as a mom, I was like this. Exudes. Not like hottiness, but just confidence. It was cool. Yeah. I was talking to someone on Instagram this week about, well, her original question was can first-time moms have home births? And I was like, yes, that is the most important birth to have at home. You want to give yourself, you want to set yourself up for the best possible rest of your birds. By not. Creating a ton of risk factors in your first birth. And I think that women often will say things like, oh, we'll just see how the first one goes. I'm going to keep all the medical interventions at my fingertips and just navigate this for the first time. I'm already overwhelmed with the fact that I'm pregnant. And then they don't really understand what can happen to them at their first birth. And that can set up the rest of their obstetrical experiences and history to be. More complicated. Yeah, for sure. And we have so many. Clients sitting on our couch who are second, third time moms who are coming to us because of. Traumatic experiences or feeling belittled or I mean, a million other things that have happened where they say as they are experiencing things and not because we are so great, but because the care model is so different. That they're like, oh man. I missed the boat to do this the first time everything would potentially look really different in my motherhood journey. Had I done that and I mean, you do what you. What you can with the information you have at the time. Right. But and you make the decisions that are right for you in that moment. But I think the eyes wide open. Like, oh, this is how good it can be. Is pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, saying that you're going to have a home birth with your second baby is like saying that you're okay with the first birth sucking. Yeah, right. You're like, well, it might be like really me. It would mediocre. It might be terrible. And then I'll play until like redeem it next time. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think that's what women are actually saying no to themselves or understanding it, but I think what happens is. In your actions. That is, that is actually the story that ends up being told. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking of myself as a first time, mom choosing something that I was like, I think this is going to be subpar to what I actually am. Desiring. But I'm still not confident and I'm still a little lost. And I feel like I should probably just go with what everybody else does at this point. And. I mean. Not that I made the wrong decision because what. Whatever right decision with the information I had or the feelings that I was feeling or the feelings that like my husband was feeling. But. It impacted the way things went down. Of course. Yeah. And imagine. Imagine what could be true for your family and for that child and for your ability as a mom, if you had had the most supported. And comprehensive and hand-holding experience possible. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I always say that the transition from zero kids to one kid for myself was hardest. When I hear a lot of other women who are like, oh, one to two is really hard or two to three or something. But I'm like, oh man. Cause that's lonely. Without some extra support. Absolutely. Okay. So this lady she's, this is her second, baby is her second home birth because she did. Her research ahead of time. I had her first baby at home. She had a midwife. Who wasn't able to attend her this second time. And that's how she ended up in our care. Yeah. So she had a really straightforward pregnancy. Like there were no flags about anything, just sweet appointments. We were mostly just, you know, Chatting like building relationship, which was sweet to see like that piece as well. And to hear her desire for what she wanted, having been through it before recognizing, okay. I don't need a lot of stuff. Like I want a birth tub. I want my husband. And I just want somebody there who will just help me feel loved, helped me feel supported, but like, Also. Don't don't do much, you know, she kinda knew what exactly what she wanted from us as well. And so being able to flush that out over, you know, the few weeks leading up to birth, especially was encouraging to me as a midwife because I was like, that's the kind of care I want to give. And it's so it's just feels really good to be able to serve a family. Who's like, this is our desire. And this is like our vision also. And to have that match up, I don't know. It just felt a great, yeah. I love taking care of her. So on the day that she went into labor, this is like, we'll probably mention this in many of our birth stories. It was a clinic day. And so it was a day that I was heading into clinic. I think you were going to meet me there, but she had called and was like, I'm experiencing some stuff and I don't need anything yet, but it was. Eight 30. We start clinic potentially. I think at that time we were starting it at nine, but there were weeks where we were having to get in there even earlier than that. And so you went, she, oh, she was calling, she was like, I have an appointment later today. I'm going to cancel it though. Cause I think I'm probably going to have a baby today. Don't need you stuff is going on, but just like some communication stuff, which we were very clear about. Extra communication in labor so that we make the births. And we can give feedback as, as needed. And so I went into the office, I think we had a nine o'clock that morning. And so I started to meet them. But you were like I'm going to go kind of, I'm going to be available to. Check out and like run that way if she calls. And that was like a good reminder for me that day, where I was like, this is why. One of the many reasons why we wanted to do this together. Like, because we could split up, we could still take care of another client at the same time, but still give all of the attention that was needed for somebody like that. She had already grown in relationship with and all of that too. Yeah. And like, I don't want to say there's nothing worse than rescheduling a clinic day. But, but it is getting a whole entire clinic day. Rescheduled is a entire Tetris because you can't just move everybody onto another day and be like, okay, well, sorry, we couldn't make it today. Can you just come the same time tomorrow? They're like all of you everybody's scheduled, it's all open at the same time tomorrow, right? Yeah. It's it's a lot. And so that's like a sweet piece to be able to do that together because there's been multiple times over the years of our practice where we've needed to split up for one reason or another. But the burden doesn't fall on the laboring mom and the burden doesn't fall. Always. Sometimes the burden is, Hey, sorry, your, your appointments canceled. One day, you're going to be in labor and we may have to cancel the appointments for you. And that is. There's a piece of grace there that we can like accept, I suppose. Yeah. Most moms are like, oh, how fun at the birth? Yes. Because they recognize that. Yeah, but there was this one time not to get off topic, but you remember. This is one time we had someone coming in to consult with us. It was just an interview. Yep. And I know exactly where you're going with this one. We had to last minute cancel of course, the whole day to get to a birth. And she was so mad. She was very upset that we wouldn't just see her or one of us wouldn't just stay because why can't one of you just go to the birth. And I was like, well, that's a, that's a consultation. You're not getting. And then she wanted to reschedule after. She got mad at us and we're like, oh, we're not the right fit for you anymore. Because of this interaction. So, no, you can't, you can't interfere with us. Sorry. That that experience was a helpful piece of our growth in understanding. Like red flags for just our personal PR. She could have gone on to have a wonderful experience, you know, pregnancy and birth and whatever. We're just not the right people. If that was the response. Not having even met us yet. I was like, this is that's bad. Okay. Okay, so she calls it like eight 30 or so I'm going into clinic. But you know, of course she's like, everything's so like just mellow. I just wanted to give you a heads up because like, you guys have kids, you have clinic just letting you know, 45 minutes later. She's like, please come. Quickly as possible. I think the husband actually was the one who called. And so I went in, I was still in clinic taking care of our nine o'clock, but TIF, you skipped coming into clinic that morning and kind of went straight. Over there, I was with the clinic. I was with my client in clinic and let her know like, Hey, we may have the luxury of an hour, but I'm just letting you know, like we have somebody in labor, so I may need to jam, but it was a sweet way to be able to take care of somebody, but also stay. Available for you. Hey, thanks. Yeah. So that was like nine, 15 ish. And then about a half an hour later, you were already at their house, like ready to go. I thought it was really funny. Or just interesting, like commentary on laboring moms, because she knew she didn't want anything when she was of. Of sound mind, not in labor. She knew she didn't want. Any hands-on anything like, just kind of there, we, she wanted us to, they're just kind of, for that, like, Scaffolding of. Skillful watching. Right. But you mentioning when you got there both in the chart and we kind of chatted about it as well, but she was like, Things are feeling really intense. I want to get into the tub soon. I sh should I have a vaginal exam that was like going swirling through her head of like starting a potential self doubt or just like wanting confirmation is what I'm feeling. Acceptable at this time, it was a really interesting little piece. And we've seen it play out in a million different ways in so many labors that so many women get to that place of like, oh, when I was in my normal life, I knew exactly what I wanted, but here, this just. And there's just a lot happening. You had your trust and your foundation can get rocked. By the huge influx of hormones and anticipation. There's a little bit of healthy fear there. Sometimes unhealthy fear. There is J it's big. Labor is getting your attention with all of the hormonal responses and you are just you're in it. And you're also potentially like flailing a little bit while you try to get a grip on the physical sensation, especially if your birth is moving quickly. So trying to think rationally and ask for what you need and ha, and have somebody help you decide if that's what you actually want. There's a lot of midwives that would be like, oh, you asked for what? Absolutely get on the bed. Let's do a vaginal exam. That's what my preference is. So the. The fact that you triggered that conversation means you want it. And we're just always willing to give a little bit of pushback. Not because we don't want to do vaginal exams. It's actually fun for us. It's a way to use our skills and gather information. But is that going to be the best thing for the mom? Most of the time, huge majority of the time. That's not the best thing. You don't need to lay on your back and spread your legs and have somebody put their fingers in your vagina. Because you're wondering. Is the way that my labor. Is progressing right now, acceptable. Yeah, that's a big, it's a, it's a big discussion in and of itself. And I just, I found it so fascinating that she, she went there, but was in. It was so calm and so in control of her breath and her response to her labor. But you can tell even in that. The mental space of being like maybe, maybe not right. The kind of grasping a little bit. But then in the chart it just says like midwife councils and mom declines. It's like, I love that. But then, so then she got straight in the tub and soon after, probably about a half an hour later, I got there and the older sibling was just picked up. Like I think as I was leaving, I said goodbye to them. And the difference between her response to her labor with her. Older child in the room who was not being rambunctious or anything, but just present. To being picked up and cared for and swept off by grandparents was staggering. Like within a handful of minutes. You could tell that she was like, I mean, we even charted it, like she said about, you know, five, 10 minutes later, she was like, oh, this the baby's clothes. And she was not in that head space, a ham, even a handful of minutes before. But she really surrendered once her child was swept out and she knew beforehand, Hey, my kiddo being there is not going to be, it's not going to allow me to be in the right head space. Women feel all different kinds of ways about that beforehand, that may shift during labor also, or it may not. But it was, it was a really fascinating physiological and psychological piece to witness it in real time. That she was able to surrender so much after this older child left. Yeah, almost. Almost like a switch went off. Yeah. And so then she's letting everybody know. It's close. And then she even just starts like moaning talking about more pressure. And then she's pushing probably 15 minutes after her kid gets picked up. Yup. And. It was the sweetest pushing. That I had seen in quite some time, because she was smiling. She would push and work and then smile because she could feel the progression and the closeness of her baby. And there was just something really sweet about that, that we just got to stand off and witness. We, we knew like, She and dad wanted to catch the baby themselves. We were just literally. Steps away, but watching. And it was a really sacred thing just to witness her calmness and. Her. I don't necessarily want to say enjoyment, but her ability to be so present in the work that she was doing and get the physiological feedback of like, oh, that was a, that was a good one. Cause I could feel how close my baby is. Oh, that's good. Yeah. She, she really embraced her whole labor like that. This is good. This is normal. This is what I'm meant to do. And now this day, this time, this event that I've been waiting for, finally, I get to do it. I feel like that was it. She was like, oh, I, now I can finally do something. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so literally as we're just like, oh, I wonder when this baby is going to come, she seems like she's working. I don't know exactly what is happening here. It's the smoothest transition. This baby comes out beautifully in like one. One push. I would call it a push because she was bearing down, but like breathing so beautifully, her and her husband, like masterfully. Pull the baby up from the water goes straight onto mom's chest. They're both crying together. He's kissing her cheek. Like there's barely any blood to be seen. It was just like, This this picture. Perfect. Like, wow, this is birth in it's. And it's like sweetest spot of like how it can, how it can work. So. Beautifully and I mean, all births, like have their own things and all of that, but it was just like this reminder of every single birth that we had done together thus far. We had to kind of, we didn't have to do. Yeah, we had to kind of do something about it. Right. We had to kind of like manage a piece of it thus far. This was the first birth that we were like, Spectators, almost like obviously using our clinical skills to watch, but. The birth was so straightforward. The pushing was so straightforward. She birthed her placenta easily on her own in the tub. The easiest time postpartum. She barely lost any blood she's walking around to her bed. Just fine. She's. You know, calling siblings to help with getting in and out for her. It's like her victory meal, all of it, just so straightforward that it almost kind of like, I don't know. It just was a good reminder to me of like, yes, This is this is possible, and this is the kind of care that like, we are really excited. To give, you know, You know where everything is just like normal and, oh, we have no problem stepping in when we need to step in, because we believe that's actually what we're there for. But when we get to have proof that most bursts don't require that. Then all the power and all of the ownership and all of the work. Belongs to the family. Yeah, which is really empowering and what we want. We want people to walk away from their birth. Even if we have to do a thing, we want them to walk away feeling like they owned it and that it was theirs. And that. Like not like, oh, they saved the day, but just, oh, we came in, we did a thing and hopefully we restored things physiologically enough to allow mom and baby just to continue on their sweet little journey together. But it definitely was just a good reminder that like, Hey, sometimes we're just going to go to births and. Provide. Love and support. And that idea of honing in the skillful watchfulness was helpful for me as a new midwife also because I haven't gotten to practice a lot like that yet in my, certainly as a student, your. Everybody's student experience looks a little different, but mine was a little more hands-on clinically, which was helpful for me to learn things. But as I got closer to finishing, I was like, you know, in my mind, Here's how I would probably tackle this. If I, if this was my client on my own. And so it was one of those chances to be okay with being like, well, I could. I provide. Perennial support. Do I need to, no, just sit on your hands or I could do this thing, but do I need to know, right. Like going through your head, Hey, I know how to do these things, but that's okay. I don't have to do them. Yeah, there's a call out there somewhere. And I'm not even going to try to quote it, but the basic idea is that parents look back on their birth and they don't see the midwife at the center of it. They see themselves at the center of it and they think it was nice to have her here that made us feel supported, but they don't think I couldn't have done it without her. And that's something for us to bear in mind just as we check our pride as midwives and what our role is there, it is to support our role is to support and we do not need to be. Saving everybody all the time from whatever it is that they're working through. And just being able to use our skills and our expertise to hold the space, especially when we encounter. Clients who have a lot of confidence desire. A lot of autonomy wants the privacy wants the ownership of the experience. I mean, of course we have plenty of clients who have asked us to be more involved if for whatever reason. But that the default is I don't need to save anybody here. Yeah. And so to be able to like walk in that was sweet. And of course, other births where we have to do a thing or whatever, we're like, oh yes, of course this is sweet because this is why we are. This is why we go to births, right? In case something goes sideways, but it was nice to be at a birth where nothing went sideways and everything was just really straightforward. And. I mean potentially in my entire. I mean, there's been a couple of births that we've been to that have been incredibly column. This might be one of the, one of the top where I was like in awe of what she was doing. And she had questioned after the fact, she was like, I wasn't sure, like if I should have taken a hypnobirthing class again or not, and we both were like, You could probably teach it at this point. But that was pretty wild, but a piece of all of this also was that she has this calm, labor, very straightforward birth, easy pushing, and she won the biggest baby in our practice for probably. A year and a half maybe. Oh, probably longer than that. Because we didn't get a bigger baby until. Two years ago. Yeah. So it was, it was, it was a while. So her baby was 10 pounds, even lots of chunky fat, so super cute. But an encouragement that. That did not hold her labor up. It was nothing to be afraid of. She baby had an easy transition. Mom was, you know, mom's pelvis was able to. Open up and it wasn't a particularly tall or anything, woman. Like her body made the right size baby for her. She didn't tear. Like there, we weren't freaked out by like blood sugar issues on the baby. Just being able to watch all of the pieces and be like, no, this is physiologically. What clearly what needed to happen? Yeah. And tha. The fact that like, I don't know, sometimes Kelly and I laugh. Here's like a, here's like a behind the scenes piece of. The way that we practice. The part of the way we were taught is to be estimating the size of the baby. I every single prenatal appointment. And I, if that's clinically relevant some of the time, I don't know. Maybe it's kind of like the way that we don't weigh moms either. Yeah. But it's not clinic, it's not so clinically relevant that we do at every single appointment. And then write the number down in the chart. I don't know. I haven't actually, we've never processed this out loud before. Except for when we are trying to like, just look at some extra information, like, do we think that there's an underlying gestational diabetes thing? Are we way past the due date? Are we feeling a lot of baby or is there fluid in there to, I don't know, just lots of different assessments is when it comes up that we're like, okay, how big do you think this baby is? But we don't do it as a routine because if we were feeling in there and we were thinking and assessing that constantly, like, how big is this baby? How big is this baby? Oh, this name is going to be about 10 pounds. That would do a thing in my head that would do a thing in your head. If we told the mom out loud that we thought her baby was almost 10 pounds, just because of the stigma of that in our society. I'm just so glad that we didn't have that. That was not a part of the story. It got to be this cute little cherry on top of like, well, you just have like a huge baby. With a big old chunky cheeks and all of that. I'm thinking about that recently also at a, at a birth that we just did where mom was like, I'm way past my due date. And I'm like, I'm afraid that this baby is going to be huge. Can you tell me? Right. And so I'm feeling I'm like, Yeah, the biggest your baby's going to be a substantial size. I'm saying that in my head and I'm like, oh, it feels like just perfect. Like just feels like, you know, you're going to have like a really healthy, happy baby when they come out your. He's in there for longer and going to be a great nurse, you know, like trying to say all the encouraging things and get the mind off of just the weight, because I do feel like there's such a. A focus on. Big babies being a negative thing. But sometimes, I mean, so many times in our practice and personally in my own birthing experiences. I see larger babies actually being able to navigate their way out a little bit easier than like these tiny babies. Who can, I mean, I know there's not a lot of space in there, but they can kind of get lost a little bit more, not getting as much pressure back from, you know, the pelvic floor telling them exactly where to turn and things like that. And so I was like, that's. Big ladies don't have to be feared. And I think that hopefully that is an encouragement. Maybe you have never heard something like that before. We've had moms ask us, like, how can we not have a big baby again? And I'm like, I don't want to give you information about how to make a smaller baby. And I don't know, right? Like your, your body's going to make the baby that it needs to make. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. But in that situation, just to prove my point. About that particular thing. In that situation with the more recent birth where you, who you knew you felt, and you knew that baby was going to be big. Did that, or did that not impact how you were feeling about. A little bit about how the birth was unfolding. She had mentioned being nervous about having a big baby and the. And the type of experience that she would have if her baby was any bigger than her previous babies and it a hundred percent. Was in my brain. It wasn't changing the way that I was providing care. Except for the fact that I was like, I'm going to jump in so fast. If, if I noticed something that I think maybe potentially happening or coming. And so it was in my head. Absolutely. But I. Had to continuously tell myself, like, But we don't know that. And like, look at what's in front of you right now. There was a moment where I was like, I might have to do. Who knows, right. I might have to do something in the next handful of minutes. If I, if you know, If what is happening unfolding in front of me continues or intensifies or something. And I don't always feel that way. Upper it's. I don't always come in and being like, oh my gosh, I'm always ready to do a thing if things need to be done, but I'm not always like. I don't know on edge. And so a piece of that, it was interesting to be like, Was that brought on because we just had this conversation about being nervous about a big baby, even though in my heart, I know I'm like, it's going to be fine or. That doesn't necessarily have a huge impact. It's still messed with me so I can imagine. Providers who are afraid of big babies already. Searching for information to be like, yep. Told you big baby. Gotta do something about that, right? Yeah. And what we're talking about, his shoulder dystocia. And you're more likely to encounter a shoulder to social with a larger baby. However, only 30% of shoulder dystocias are with a large baby. So we have to just constantly keep that in mind. Here's a risk factor. We're paying attention to how the pushing phases going. We're watchful. But outside of that risk factor. We don't expect things to go wrong. Yeah, try not to expect things to go wrong. Yeah. So it's, I don't know something. A little pieces there. To consider. You know, pick apart a little bit. Yes, absolutely. And so when this particular baby for this birth that we're talking about about this episode is about. When that baby came out, I was like, that is a that's. That's a big baby. You could just tell like, just how, how substantial that baby was and was never a, never an issue. And I'm thankful that it wasn't on our. Radar, I think at the time, I don't really know if it would have changed anything about the enjoyment that we got to experience. I'm just witnessing this unfold. But overall, this was one of those births where we just felt like, oh man, like, it felt like a breath of fresh air in some ways. And a good reminder that birth can absolutely work and that sometimes women. You know, Hire us for support, hire us for the, you know, I want to make sure that like everything's okay. And really this mom hired us because she was like, well, if something is a little sideways, like, yeah, I want somebody there to help. But like, I don't actually need you guys unless I need you guys. And it was a good, like put us in our place. In terms of the kind of midwifery care we want to give. Yeah, absolutely. Sometimes we are the authority in some ways, because we have the most experience and because mom's put us there and we have to be really careful about where we are allowing people to what position they're allowing us to be in. Even if our expertise and our experience is valid and needed, that's a part of the value that we bring. Yes. With all this money you're paying us. That's part of that. But being careful that we don't accidentally start to adopt more, take more responsibility than what we, you know, ha than what is needed or take any part of the experience away from the family. Yes. Absolutely. That was a great little walk down memory lane. I don't know if you have anything else to say about that one, but what's been, what's been cool is we are in the midst of creating our childbirth education course right now and behind the scenes, the women who are going through it with us as we are creating it sort of in live throughout the last couple of months, it's been really cool to see there. They're like confidence build with the information that they're gathering, especially those who don't have the benefit of midwifery care of their own. And to really start asking questions. And you know, just starting to see things through a different lens. And I feel like this is this mom, you know, had that coming in and which is great, but it's cool to witness other women kind of grow in that space. And we've seen it a ton of times in the people we've taken care of as well, but it's been cool to see it in this childbirth education class, especially cause I'm like we don't have the, we don't have the benefit of sitting with you for these appointments and like building relationship both ways, but to see them start. Taking some ownership has been great. Yeah. So cool. I think one of my favorite comments that we've gotten about the childbirth education course itself. Is one of our students said. I would have never thought about my baby's experience in this. If you did not prompt me to think about that more deeply. Oh, that's good. It's a big one. Huge. Yeah, absolutely. absolutely. huge. So. There's So. much more than just getting through your pregnancy and writing a birth plan. I mean, It is an experience that is absolutely worth diving deep into core. Beliefs and values and what that means for you as a parent, which is ultimately what you're going to spend the rest of this child's life doing is parenting. And so how do you, how do you really touch base with that in a meaningful way? One option is through our trauma education course. Yes, absolutely. So the link to join the wait list for that, it will be rolling out in the coming months to everybody. Is in the show notes. So go ahead. Hop in there. Put your name on the list. If you are interested in that type of experience, we are gaining confidence, gaining information gaining perspective, and really, you know, leaning into the idea of owning. Your. Experience. All right, everybody until next Monday. And especially until next. Humber Storytime. Yep. Love it. We'll see you then. Bye.