Ep 005 Naomi Galliano on Motherhood Bliss, True Love, and Raising Autistic Kids (2024)

Naomi is a trauma-informed coach specializing in healing the traumas and suppressions experienced by women, using a holistic approach tailored for them. 

After enduring her own struggles and overcoming a life filled with people-pleasing and chronic stress, Naomi discovered that traditional healing methods often overlooked the female and maternal experiences and were insufficient in addressing the trauma stored in the body and nervous system.

Determined to find a solution, Naomi developed a unique system aimed specifically at mothers seeking to prioritise their personal growth and healing. Today, her life's work is dedicated to helping mothers heal, embracing the belief that healing mothers can lead to healing the world.

Schedule a link with Naomi.  

 https://calendly.com/naomi-galliano/15-minute-challenge-registration-pjp

Connect with Naomi on facebook 

https://www.facebook.com/naomi.galliano

Connect with Naomi on Instagram  

https://www.instagram.com/healthemother_coaching/

Interview Show Notes 

Ever wondered how to navigate motherhood without losing yourself in the process?

 Join us as trauma-informed coach Naomi shares her candid journey of raising three children with autism while managing a thriving business. 

Discover how she found her path to personal healing, and how she is now empowering other mothers to break free from overwhelming, people-pleasing lifestyles to find true peace and fulfilment.

In this episode, Naomi sheds light on the societal conditioning that drives many women to seek validation through constant doing and over-giving. 

We explore her system that helps mothers prioritise their growth and healing by understanding their nervous system states—ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal. 

Naomi  goes ahead to  illustrate  how letting go of overdoing can lead to greater peace and independence, emphasising the importance of choosing oneself and finding internal validation.

Listen in to learn about managing stress through heightened self-awareness and inner awareness.

 Naomi shares practical techniques for recognizing and validating different parts of oneself, fostering healthier responses, and building personal resilience. 

 Discover how small, intentional changes can create significant improvements in the lives of mothers and their families.

And if you find this helpful, please share it with one mother .Sharing is Caring. 


Trauma-Informed Coaching
Women's Trauma Healing
Holistic Healing for Women
Motherhood and Personal Growth
Maternal Healing Techniques
Nervous System Regulation
Overcoming Chronic Stress
People-Pleasing Recovery
Healing through Self-Awareness
Empowering Mothers
Self-Validation Techniques
Stress Management for Mothers
Personal Resilience Building
Inner Peace and Fulfillment

#TraumaHealing
#HolisticHealth
#MotherhoodJourney
#PersonalGrowth
#WomenEmpowerment
#HealingMothers
#StressManagement
#SelfAwareness
#PeoplePleasingRecovery
#MaternalHealth
#ResilientMothers
#NervousSystemHealth
#SelfCareForMoms
#InnerPeace
#EmpoweredWomen
#FamilyWellbeing
#CrossCulturalMarriage
#MentalHealthForMoms
#HealingJourney
#IntentionalLiving

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

My friend, welcome to the World's Best Kept Secret podcast, a podcast that brings you exclusive interviews from experts all over the world with life-changing work that you didn't even know existed. I'm your host, prima Job, a partner for those that are ready to take their life-changing work in front of those whose life or business depends on it. Please follow or subscribe for more. Our discussion today is going to be centered around helping mothers get out of their acoustic life, that life where you feel like you're a moving time bomb, specifically for mothers.

Speaker 1: 0:54

Ome is a trauma-informed coach. She specializes in healing trauma and suppression that is experienced by women, using a holistic approach that is crafted for women, for mothers, for the feminine. This has been created through her own school of hard knocks. She really struggled so hard to find a solution that worked for her. Even when she had built a life that she wanted, she had been successful, she found that she couldn't stop people pleasing. She felt that she couldn't really get in her own body and enjoy the experiences of life, and that is why Naomi decided to create a unique system. After solving her own problems and finding something that really worked for her, she created a system that specifically helps mothers that are seeking to prioritize their personal growth and healing.

Speaker 1: 1:54

Naomi believes that when you heal a mother, you heal the world, and I couldn't be further from totally agreeing with Naomi. I believe that if you feel like you're amazing in everyone's life, you're always trying to serve everyone, just not yourself. You need to meet Naomi. Naomi, welcome to the World's Best Cup Secret Podcast. I am so honored that you made it today. Now, mate, welcome to the World's Best Cup Secret Podcast. I am so honored that you made it today.

Speaker 2: 2:30

Thank you, Prima, and thank you for inviting me onto your podcast. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 2:36

You're so very welcome.

Speaker 2: 2:42

Could you tell the listener what you do? I help moms who are really struggling within motherhood, who, like you said, trapped in people pleasing. They're overwhelmed, they're stressed, they're angry. They don't prioritize themselves because they feel guilty doing that. I help them to restore a sense of safety within their body, calm within their nervous system, regulation, so that they're not kind of yelling and angry all the time. And I help them to heal their past trauma so that those unconscious patterns stop playing out every day in their lives.

Speaker 1: 3:17

I would love for you to dive in a little bit into your story so that other mothers can see what you went through.

Speaker 2: 3:26

Yeah, I have three children. My eldest daughter is 21. My two boys are 13 and 14 years old. They all have autism spectrum disorders, and life was very challenging, particularly when I had the younger two. They were only 12 months apart.

Speaker 2: 3:48

My husband and I ran a successful, busy business and some things went wrong at one point and I found myself really struggling again, despite all the work that I'd done in the past. I was getting really angry and stressed because of the other pressure and I knew that I had to be better for my children. I was doing the things, I was doing the meditation, I was listening to the personal development, I'd done the courses, but I was still finding myself stuck going around in that cycle and I was desperate to get out. And so when we went through a point of crisis in our business, where financially things were not looking good, I realized that I'd been living my life unconsciously and not purposefully and that that had to change, that I needed to become more fulfilled and happy and do my own healing work to benefit my children what I pick off is you can try and survive as a mother without doing this work, but when you have two autistic kids, this work stops being a good to do and starts becoming a must.

Speaker 1: 5:08

How important has it been for you, as someone who is raising kids with special needs, to be aware of this work.

Speaker 2: 5:18

It's been my number one priority. It's the most important thing in the world and that's what drove me to do. It was with my younger kids, whose needs were higher. Priority it's the most important thing in the world and that's what drove me to to do. It was with my younger kids, whose needs were higher, and everything I'd learned in in the therapy that we did for them about how to help them, I knew that I needed to be able to be there for them. I needed to be present for them. I couldn't get angry with them and go into my old patterns with them, because that would have been so detrimental to their progress and then they would have had all sorts of behavior issues and emotional issues themselves, and that would have just been detrimental, not just then, but for the rest of my life and theirs, because it meant they would have been continually dependent on me if I didn't get that right.

Speaker 1: 6:09

I think that you can be single and you can move around, survive, exist. Now, when you become a mother, those chances start diminishing. Now you really need to do this work because there's human beings that actually depend on you Even before you're a mother. I think the fastest test of this work is when you get married. Now there is another human being who is so good at triggering you and now you begin to realize huh, this could get ugly. Now you take another step. Now you have a baby and now your chances of really just going through life blindly starts to reduce, because you know what? There's all these human beings who depend on you to become something.

Speaker 1: 6:56

Now for Naomi, her kids were not just normal kids. They were autistic, special kids that need special needs, that need special attention, and so for her, I'd imagine, it stops being an option and she had to either do it or face the roughness of motherhood. I love where you're going, the women who work with you. You know what does that process look like? I'm curious. What is the process of moving from breaking glasses, shooting people screaming at my kids, to being calm and being, you know, someone who can see things happen? And I breathe in and out and move with the day. What is that transformation For me? Who is like shooting my kids every day or planning to kill my husband like? What does that look like?

Speaker 2: 7:56

Yeah, well, the first step is actually getting support. So the reason these mothers are struggling so much is because, deep down, they feel a lack of support, and it's actually not fair to expect that just our husband can be that full support for us. We actually need a network and a village to support us, but that's not there anymore. So at the very least, we need to work with someone who can give us the emotional support that isn't available to us. So it starts there. So that's why they come to me is to start to get that support, and then we start to work through a process of awareness, develop a deeper awareness about that and actually have a look at where these behaviors, the you know, the the unmet emotional needs that are triggering these outbursts. Because it essentially does come down to a lot of unmet and emotional needs that, unbeknownst to these mothers, they can actually meet mostly themselves. And so it's about helping them to reconnect with their power so that they know they can meet those needs themselves.

Speaker 2: 9:19

Because, as children, we're not taught how to manage our emotions, how to notice what's happening in our nervous system. We, as women, we're not really taught how to advocate for our needs. We often have trouble identifying our needs, let alone speaking them. So it's really about helping her getting to get reconnected to herself and what her needs are and also sharing with her that that's that it's normal and, uh, human that she be having the responses that she's currently having, based on her history and based on her current level of skill around managing those emotions. So that helps her to be easier on herself and not be so hard on herself, because a woman like this is often in a lot of self-blame and shame and guilt and she thinks there's something wrong with her. And there's nothing wrong with her, it's that she just hasn't got the skills because they were never taught to her.

Speaker 1: 10:24

But when the women come to you, I am trying to figure out how do you, how do I move from this state? And I understand. The first thing is to get support, a network of people that understand what you're going through. They probably have the same problems that have overcome what you have, because you're not one mother on an island. Mothers have gone through this problem and no one has died from it, and we would hope that the moment you step by yourself, it's like you're isolated in your own cell, in your own prison cell, and what you want to do is get around people who are already having these discussions, solving these problems, because whatever has you by the throat, somebody just went through it, and so that can be like a sign of hope that you're in the right direction.

Speaker 1: 11:13

The first step is to get aware. You know, like what is happening, because you're on auto, you don't even know that it's happening, and so get aware that could be even someone literally reflecting back to you what they see you're doing. That looks crazy, if I can say that. That looks so off, you know. And the other one is getting your emotions. What are the needs that I am trying to meet through screaming at my kids? What are the emotional needs that I'm trying to get by trying to save everyone in this world? What is the hope that I'm trying to feel for myself by putting out fires? And then you get to realize okay, what is my history and what skills do I need? So what else goes on there for me to move from the screaming mom to the mom who is, like, really calm and cool? What?

Speaker 2: 12:17

else goes on there After there's a level of awareness as to what's driving the behaviour. Usually that's coming from a younger part of us that has had some trauma and often we're firstly unaware of that. Once we're aware of that, it's about really attuning to that part and giving it space and helping that part to heal, understanding where that part's coming, helping them to integrate into our current life and self of today, and we can do that through a few ways. But the second step is attunement actually really deeply attuning to the deeper needs. Attuning to the body. What are the sensations that are happening? You know where is that part in our body? How did they get their job? Understanding that that part of us is actually in their own way, trying to keep us safe and look after us, and you know they're coming from a good place. So again, that helps to remove the blame that we put on ourselves and that what's wrong with me type of thinking. So when we attune to ourselves, knowing that there is a good reason why we're doing what we're doing, we can then help to create healing around that part of us. Help to create healing around that part of us and then, through that, then help that part of us to move forward by going into the next step, which I call action.

Speaker 2: 14:14

So there's the three a's awareness, attunement, action. And the action is is showing, is creating a new experience, to show that that part of us that things are different now Things can be different. We can create a new experience. We have more knowledge now. We have more wisdom. We can lead with our heart, our self-energy, that part of ourselves that does feel more connected to something bigger than us. We can lead with that part of ourselves that does feel more connected to something bigger than us. We can lead with that part to create a new experience, to show the younger, unhealed part that things can be different for us now.

Speaker 1: 14:57

Now I'm aware now I am in, I know that there is an inner child or a child like, like a state of me that is keeping me safe and wanting to keep me where I was years ago and years ago. Now I know that there is an identity around who I am and my problems are coming from a place of not wanting to venture into the unknown, which is like I don't know what is behind, besides, beneath this identity. Could you help me explain more about how I get to break this identity? What is involved? Because there is someone listening going.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Yeah, I know I have an inner child. I know I have trauma. I know I've done some sessions. I know I've done some work. I know I've done some work. Maybe I've done therapy, because traditionally what people think about is therapy and what they do in therapy is they, they inform you, they educate you about that the inner child but then it's as if they don't really help you do something about it. Or, and so if I've been in therapy because I'm a mom and maybe I lost my mind and they, okay, we had to go to therapy and now I don't want one day to end up in rehab, could you help me understand why I'm still stuck in my patterns and what I need to do to get out, because I feel like I've tried this. I've tried this. I know I know there is something there, but what do you offer that is so different that will help me maybe just move on with my life?

Speaker 2: 16:38

yeah, so I don't do inner child work and I don't refer to.

Speaker 2: 16:44

When we do connect with where the original trauma has come from, it's not in an inner child kind of way. I've never been a fan of that work for the reasons that you've just kind of stated there. So what I'll do is explain a current client that I'm working with. So as women, we are conditioned to be a certain way, as little girls we are taught how to be in the world, to be a good girl, to be a good wife, to be a good mother. And that conditioning starts from birth and we learn what we need to do or the best or most effective way to gain love, to gain recognition, to gain some sense of value. And in women, especially mothers, and in women especially mothers, that's going to be very different to what it is for men. No-transcript. So first we start with helping her understand whereabouts in her nervous system she is at any given time. So there's three states of the nervous system. There's our ventral vagal, which is, um, you know, our self, our true self, state like that's our higher self, that that part of us that feels connected to something bigger than us. And then there's fight flight, stress. You know, that's the next, the sympathetic nervous system. And then there's our dorsal vagal, which is our system of immobilization. So in the beginning, part of the awareness is getting her very familiar with the different nervous system states that she's in and what's driving her from a nervous system perspective. From there and based on the problems that she's having. So if she's, for example, feeling like she's always busy and always doing, we kind of explore well, why is that so? This particular client it came from feeling valued and good enough and loved if she was helpful. So if she was helping others, if she was doing for others, then she felt safe. Right, because that's what she needed to do when she was younger, to feel safe in her body. And so with that awareness we then attune to that part of her and find out what the needs that those unmet needs that that part had.

Speaker 2: 19:37

We work with that part of her to the point where we can then start to implement the action and show that part of her that through choosing a different action she can have a different experience which in the beginning is foreign to her, because she doesn't know how it can feel good to do less, because that's what she's been doing her entire life.

Speaker 2: 20:01

So there's a really deliberate, conscious effort to notice that part of her that is worried about doing less, but also make a very conscious decision from the part of her that's most connected to her real self, to do less and to let go a little bit and not seek that love and validation anymore through overdoing and over giving to others.

Speaker 2: 20:29

And then through that action she's able to have a new experience which creates more peace in her system because she realizes, oh, that's safe to do that, and I didn't die and people still love me and I still feel good, right. And so she gets to have a new experience that she hasn't had before, which rewires her nervous system and shows her system that it can be different and she can choose herself and that it's safe to choose herself. Also, through the understanding of herself, she's able to let go of the guilt about taking care of herself by doing less, because she realizes how important it is. And then, as a result of that, her children start to become a bit more independent and need her less because she's not holding on so tight to needing to do for them in order to feel valued or valuable. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 21:25

It does. She moves from I get it, I think I get it. So the first thing is realizing what they're holding on to. What is bringing meaning to them, what is causing them to be in this state, what are they seeking? What is the validation that is making them work 36 hours in a day which has 24? When that comes, then I think there's a new lens that you get them to experience.

Speaker 1: 21:54

Do you know that this is actually a tilted lens and you could do half of those things you're doing and be happier. And they like huh. Do you know that you don't have to be doing everything you're doing for your kids for them to appreciate you? You know that you could move from controlling and micromanaging your kids to actually empowering them. And she's like huh, are all those things possible? And she begins to follow that and she's shocked like, oh my god, so my kids can't do their homework without me losing my mind. Oh my god, so this baby can actually take their shower, eat their food and go to bed without mom being involved. So my husband can actually take that, take down the trash, without me having to scream at him. And that begins to kind of give them, I think, a new lens, so this is possible, so I don't have to hustle and grind, so I don't have to be controlling everything around here.

Speaker 1: 22:55

Like, what could happen to this woman is you force her to go on a vacation and you force her not to go with the phone, and she'll probably lose the first day thinking about everything, and then by day three you give her back the phone or she goes back home and everything is magically better and she's like how did no one die? This is what I'm in my in my head. I'm imagining that she gets to a point where she realizes that she does not have to kill herself for any of the things that are happening to happen. So that's what I'm getting. And you can stop me and say no, that's wrong. And what I'm getting is you're saying you know you can choose a different experience, but you have to be in a place where you actually can't choose a different experience.

Speaker 2: 23:44

Yeah, but they need to understand what's driving the need to do what they're doing in the first place, because there's always a deeper driver. They're trying to meet unconsciously meet another need in a way that they met in childhood but is no longer serving them now. And that's where the awareness comes in, because we don't need to get our needs met through the same way we learned when we were young, because it's usually no longer serving us.

Speaker 1: 24:19

So, naomi, if I am doing those things because I'm actually traumatized, how does that work? If all of that is coming from a place of being traumatized and I have never healed what happens there, how do you get me to a place where I can maintain a thing that you're helping me to do? Because I find most people have the will, but something is just pulling them back all the time. It's like something is just saying no, come back. This way, they take three steps and something's like no boom back. So if I am traumatized and that is why I keep falling back, what is your process of helping me get out of that? So if I am traumatized and that is why I keep falling back, what is your process of helping me get out of that?

Speaker 2: 25:11

That's the attunement. If you keep on coming back, that's because you've gone past too quickly the younger part that feels like it still needs to do its job of keeping you in that role of getting the love the way you're getting it. So we can't skip past that too quickly because if we do, that part will continue to come up and try to run the show. So the more you can create new experiences for that part, the more it loosens its grip. But you also. So you imagine, Prima, you have a screaming child in front of you. If you just go shush, shush, it's okay, give them a hug and a pat on the back and walk away without properly attending to them and really dropping in and tuning in, then they're going to come back again and again and again.

Speaker 2: 26:19

So it's kind of like that.

Speaker 2: 26:20

You need to really drop in, you need to really listen, you really need to drop in and give that child, if it were a child in front of you, all of your attention for a minute until they feel completely expressed. They've completely expressed, They've completely expressed, they've had their need met to the point where you know you give them a hug, they run off, they're happy, right. So it's the same when we're attuning to ourselves and to the traumatized part and to the traumatised part, you can't skip past. You can't just give it a quick pat on the back and hope that it's okay. There needs to be enough attunement and dropping in before you move forward. And sometimes you will have to come back and do that a few times and remember that this part of you can be activated when you're doing certain things. But the more you build a relationship with it and the more you understand it, the more you know when it is going to come up, the quicker you're able to give it what it needs and the quicker you can then move on forward.

Speaker 1: 27:40

So I would love for you, if you don't mind, to drop a little bit into attuning.

Speaker 2: 27:45

Take us through that process of how do I get to the point where I have enough awareness to say you know what, naomi, now I believe I can do this yeah, I understand and I lived in my head for most of my life and I thought I was a very, very aware person and I would share with her that if she could work everything out through thinking then she would have by now. The key part to this process is learning how to drop into her body and notice what's happening in her body not just in her head, because her head is probably never quiet and it probably won't be for a while, but the way to help the mind calm is to be able to drop into the body. So, through the education around the nervous system and the awareness that she starts to build around, what does it most feel like when I feel good, like? When do I feel most connected to my real self? When do I feel connected higher, to something higher than myself or something you know, bigger than me? That's what you know. You can call it whatever you want higher self, true self, heart, whatever.

Speaker 2: 29:14

And then she starts to understand what does stress feel like in my body? How does my body feel when I'm stressed? What are the early signs that I'm stressed? Is my breathing more shallow? Is my body tense? Do my shoulders tense up? Do I feel anxiety in my stomach, like what's happening for me when I'm stressed, and what are the early signs of that? And then the other state is the dorsal state, and so how am I feeling in my body? Where I'm feeling like I can't move, where I don't want to move, where I'm exhausted, where all I want to do is curl up in a ball. Where do I feel that in my body? So I help her start to understand these different states and how they show up in her body. And so that's the first part of getting into the body is really noticing when something's happening. Okay, this is what's happening, this is what my mind is saying, but what's my body doing? How am I feeling in my body? And what state does that fit into? Is that my green ventral, is it the yellow sympathetic, or is it the red dorsal?

Speaker 2: 30:30

Through that lens of understanding, when she is having a crisis moment, after she's got this good understanding of what's happening in her body, when she's triggered, she can start to notice that, oh, isn't that interesting. That part of me is really triggered right now. What does it feel like in my body? Also, knowing that she doesn't have to get stuck there because she knows what green feels like, she knows what it feels like to feel good, so she can explore this feeling whilst also being connected to her higher self, to her heart, and she can be in both at the same time.

Speaker 2: 31:22

She doesn't have to leave the good feeling part of herself or the higher self in order to feel what's happening in the part of her that is stressed or activated in that moment, so she can start to notice oh, this is interesting, this feels like you know, this activation feels like this in my body. That's this part that's obviously speaking up, and I can understand why it would be, because you know we're in this situation that would trigger that part of me. And so in that moment, right then, if she's got a busy day and she's got to get the kids to school and everything's happening, she doesn't need to drop in in that moment, but she does need to notice it and be with it, but not in it. And so this is where the awareness of the different states is really helpful, because she can notice it without being carried away by it, because she can notice it without being carried away by it.

Speaker 2: 32:24

And then the dropping in more deeply to really understand the inner workings of the part of her that is activated can come in the sessions and it can only come when she has enough safety within herself to be with that and drop into that. And that safety can be facilitated by doing it with someone else until she has enough safety in herself to be able to drop in herself later or in session. So that might be something that she would bring to a session and say, oh, this week this thing happened. I noticed, I felt this and I was really activated because of that and I really wanted to do this, like I really wanted to just explode, but I didn't. I noticed it and I was with it, but I can see this is a pattern and I want to work more deeply with that. That's where we could go into that in a session.

Speaker 2: 33:22

So she doesn't need to fully drop in on her own. What she can do in that moment is notice, have the awareness, remember it's, remember that the activation is not who she is, it's just a part of her. So she doesn't need to get carried away by it. Because this that's where some, a lot of women get stuck is. They think that all these feelings and their whole past is who they are, that it defines them and it doesn't. It's all just part of us and we get to choose right now, in this moment, how we show up. And we get to choose in those moments to remember who we truly are and remember that we are connected to something bigger than us and we can notice this part of us that's still holding trauma, without letting the part of us that's holding the trauma run the show, because we lead forward with ourself, with our higher. We don't lead with the part that's traumatized. But when we don't understand that those parts exist within us and we're running unconsciously, those parts will run the show. But once we have enough awareness, we can realize that it doesn't need to run the show anymore, that we can, because we have more knowledge, wisdom and experience now and we have more skills.

Speaker 2: 34:49

Is that making sense?

Speaker 1: 34:50

Yeah, I really love it because I think that the enemy of this progress, of this healing, is ignorance. And so, instead of going my kids get me mad, my husband drives me crazy, that thing over there really pisses me off Instead of doing that, I believe what Naomi is saying here is move from doing to being, start moving from doing and seeing things happen to being in that moment and kind of realizing oh, I'm hungry, okay, I'm triggered. What is happening that is triggering me right now? Okay, and maybe it's a pattern. Maybe every time that thing happens, you're triggered, you're angry. The way.

Speaker 1: 35:37

I think that for me, the way I'm triggered is anger. Usually I didn't have a process, but as you're speaking, I know I see the process, because when I'm angry I go what was that? Why was I angry? I go what was that? Why was I angry? Like, why did that, which my husband said, anger me? Why is my body spiking? The way I look at it is more like I have a spike and I regulate. Sometimes I go okay, I understand what happened, I've written it down, it's gotten out of my head, from my emotions to now I'm calm, but it happens again, and so is this dropping in. What is it supposed?

Speaker 2: 36:24

to achieve. The dropping in achieves building a relationship with the part and a familiarity with the part. It also achieves you no longer making that part of you wrong or bad, because you realize that part of you is just trying to help you in its own way. But also part of the dropping in is giving that part of you what it needs. That part of you needs to be seen. That part of you needs to be validated. That part of you also needs to feel valued.

Speaker 1: 37:05

Thank you for trying to help me.

Speaker 2: 37:07

You know, I see you and and I see, you don't.

Speaker 1: 37:12

And we don't need to do I don't need you to do that job anymore because I've got this. Yes, you have answered my question. Let me give you a live example. I will say something. My husband is from UK, I'm from Uganda. I will say something. My husband is from UK, I'm from Uganda. I'll say something. He will hear something completely different and that will get him in a state where we have to have a heated argument and then, as I'm going into this argument, I will snap back and say but why am I doing this? I know every time this is because he's hearing something which I'm not saying. So I decided to stop in this moment and go to my desk. When I come to my desk, I write, I write, I write. So what? I just my aha moment.

Speaker 1: 37:58

Right now, naomi is more like there is, there's somebody that is trying to protect me, and what I need to do is I can see that you're trying to protect me right now. You're trying to keep me safe and I appreciate you for that. But thank you for doing that. You no longer have to do it again. From now onwards, I want to release you. It's fine, let it go, I'm fine, I'm set. I can do this. I can navigate this and maybe choose a different way to deal with that situation, which is more like okay. So now, what do I want? What is my choice? Is it to go to, to and from with him, or is it to choose a different and I can go? Yes, I see you, thank you, but I love you. Now, like, let's not do it now, this is what I choose, like, let's not do it now, this is what I choose, and I can imagine that that needs empowerment, because indeed, naomi, these are patterns. It's not like you have a million things happening to you. No, there is like five things or ten, and they just come on, repeat and repeat and repeat. And because repeats and repeats, and because you've never chosen a different result or response or outcome, you just keep in. This cycle of life is happening to you. Everyone is right now, everyone is just coming at you. I see what you mean. The kids come back from school and something has gone terribly wrong. Your husband comes and you feel like he's bringing another stress. The landlord decides today is the day to check in and collect money, and somehow your client decides today is the perfect day to cancel, and then things keep piling and piling. And then your dad decides today is the day to get a heart attack, and you're like jesus christ, what is happening to my world? And so this is so good, now, man, this is so good.

Speaker 1: 39:52

But what I pick in summary is the more aware you are, the better. So, number one create safety for yourself. And the best way to create safety is to get around people who are living the life you want and they begin to kind of help. You understand that this is not you hallucinating, that this stuff is possible, that you can be a send mom, that you can be awesome, you can take care of yourself, you can do all the amazing things you want to do. If you get to prioritize yourself and know that you know what it's not all about everybody else, it's about you as well. You get this awareness, you get to understand what really is the emotional need that is causing me to want to do everything for everybody. And I'm reconnecting your power and knowing that you know what.

Speaker 1: 40:42

Every time I get into this state, it is because there's skills I don't have, like getting in tune with my body. I don't have that skill and I need to learn that skill. So the next time something triggers you, the next time you see another system spiking, for me it shows up as anger, like I feel like tears are going to come out. I feel like my body is resisting whatever it is, and the result of that is tears. That is when I know that someone has crossed something, a boundary, something, and so the skill you're going to learn is tuning in and getting an understanding with this trigger and how you want to move forward when it happens again.

Speaker 1: 41:32

Reconciling, having peace talks with this part of you that keeps you safe and keeps you in the same place, in the same pattern. Making that reconciliation and going. I see you, but I'm moving this way anyway because you know what I deserve better. Reconciling that beat way, because you know what I deserve better. You know reconciling that beat. That is the skill that you need tuning in your body and being able to help yourself get what you want. Now. What did I miss there?

Speaker 2: 42:02

that was perfect. Just remembering not to dismiss the part of you or. It need that because it was never seen, even when it was formed in a way. So it needs to be seen, heard and valued in itself and and reminded, and thanked and reminded. It doesn't need to do that job anymore because things are different now.

Speaker 1: 42:28

And.

Speaker 2: 42:28

I'm older. Now I'm wiser, now I have more skills now. And I can move forward in a different way and you don't need to do that job anymore.

Speaker 1: 42:43

I think the greatest power you can give yourself as a mother is to understand your nervous system and how you can regulate it so that you don't crash. Just regulating. I think life keeps happening and people will still try and trigger you and things will happen. But I think the difference is between the spike and the crash, versus the spike and regulate. I think it is not about even just completely being immune to those things. I think it's about being able to regulate. That you know. Regulate through the storm, you know maneuver through the storm.

Speaker 1: 43:18

And I think that the second biggest thing that a woman can do for herself is learn to heal herself through in tuning in, in like, in tuning in with yourself and reconciling the conflict between this invisible part and what is happening and what you want. Wow, now I feel empowered. Now I feel like, yes, this is possible. So, naomi, tell us how you help people, because there is a woman right now going. I don't want to cease this fire. I have now the power. I see I can do it. Where should I go? Tell us about what you do, how you help people.

Speaker 2: 44:02

Yeah, so.

Speaker 2: 44:02

I help people through one-on-one coaching at the moment. So just get in touch with me through Facebook is the best way. Facebook Messenger or I can give you, you know, whatever other details you need, prima, but Facebook is really the best way. I do have a small Instagram page, but it's not very active at the moment. I do at the moment I offer free one-on-one coaching challenges for women, so I work with women for free, do five sessions together over five days and help to get her some type of immediate outcome in those five days, based on a goal that she needs or something that's big for her at the moment, and then, at the end of that, there's the opportunity to continue to work with me in a paid capacity if she feels as though the work we've done together so far is beneficial. So that's the best way Amazing.

Speaker 1: 44:59

So this challenge is for like a group. How big is the group?

Speaker 2: 45:04

At the moment it's one-on-one.

Speaker 1: 45:09

No excuses. So now you can work with Naomi for five days, not a dime, and if what you get out of the five days isn't convincing for you, there is a paid capacity to do that. I love that. I think that's really, really beautiful. And to get in touch with Naomi she's on Facebook. Naomi is N-A-O-M-I. Get in touch with Naomi. She's on Facebook. Naomi is N-A-O-M-I. Her second name is G-A-L-L-I-A-N-O.

Speaker 1: 45:44

So if you go to Facebook and you send her a private message, I believe you would have to friend request her so your message is seen, or follow her. Before you message her. She should be able to get back to you. I would try to see what links would be good. I would try to see if I can get a calendar link from her, and everything will be rightfully in the show notes. Whether you're watching this on a podcast audio platform or you're watching this on YouTube, simply scroll through the notes and everything you need to know to move forward with Naoma is rightfully going to be there. What a pleasure to have you today. Do you have words of wisdom you would love to close with?

Speaker 2: 46:23

I would just say trust that choosing yourself as a mother is the best thing that you can do for your children. They will benefit too, because when you can do this for you, you can do it for them. Can you imagine having someone, a mum, a mother who's able to be present and attuned to you? Because you, she's learned how to do it for herself?

Speaker 1: 46:56

I love it, like I love it. I truly believe in your statement. Save the mother, save the world. It's just the way. The best way to empower the world is to empower mothers, and my ask for you, the first one, is going to be do you know a mother that needs some peace in her motherhood? Do you know a mother that could use less chaos in being a mother? You know a mother whose marriage could be lifted up because she calmed down? Do you have a friend who just seems to be awesome in everyone's life, just not in their life? Do you have a friend that you know motherhood has taken such a toll on her she no longer knows what the saloon looks like? I know you do. My ask is please share this episode with them, because together we can spread this message, one mother at a time.

Speaker 1: 47:53

If this show is blessing you, please do all of the amazing things, subscribe and review. There is a lot of things we can do to change lives. There's a lot of people out there that need our services. There's a lot of people out there that need to meet all these amazing experts that I bring on, but my ability and my game is limited to your participation. So what I would love for you to do is, one, subscribe or follow, depending on the platform, but two, give me a review and let the world know that something great is happening here. But also, if you feel like there is something you need more of, something you need less of amazing On the YouTube channel, just put it in the comments under the video and let me know what should I change, what should I keep. So, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will talk to you really soon. That is it, my friend. To listen to more exclusive interviews like this one, simply go to the world's best cup secret podcastcom and select interviews based on preferred topic.