Building a strong, lasting relationship can be a real challenge, but what if the key lies in starting as friends? On this inaugural episode of "Doing it With the Daniels," we—Charles and Tesa—share our unique journey from meeting at a bank to becoming partners and leaders. Join us as we discuss the various hats we wear as parents and leaders, emphasizing the purpose of our podcast: to offer practical advice and insights to help couples thrive in all aspects of their lives, including those tricky blended family dynamics.
This episode takes you through the early days of our relationship, where mutual respect and genuine connection laid the groundwork for a solid partnership. Hear about the pivotal moments that tested our bond, like a pre-planned trip that almost threw everything off course. We also highlight our differing views on marriage and how those perspectives shaped our 19-year journey together. Tune in to gain valuable wisdom from our experiences as we explore the importance of building a strong friendship before diving into romance, and learn how our stories can help you strengthen your own relationship.
Building a strong, lasting relationship can be a real challenge, but what if the key lies in starting as friends? On this inaugural episode of "Doing it With the Daniels," we—Charles and Tesa—share our unique journey from meeting at a bank to becoming partners and leaders. Join us as we discuss the various hats we wear as parents and leaders, emphasizing the purpose of our podcast: to offer practical advice and insights to help couples thrive in all aspects of their lives, including those tricky blended family dynamics.
This episode takes you through the early days of our relationship, where mutual respect and genuine connection laid the groundwork for a solid partnership. Hear about the pivotal moments that tested our bond, like a pre-planned trip that almost threw everything off course. We also highlight our differing views on marriage and how those perspectives shaped our 19-year journey together. Tune in to gain valuable wisdom from our experiences as we explore the importance of building a strong friendship before diving into romance, and learn how our stories can help you strengthen your own relationship.
Welcome to Doing it With the Daniels, the podcast where we help couples navigate life, marriage and ministry. I'm Charles.
Speaker 2:
And I'm Tisa. Join us as we share insights, wisdom and practical advice to strengthen your marriage, empower your life and enrich your ministry.
Speaker 1:
Let's dive in together and discover the joys of doing life with the Daniels. Hey, welcome to Doing it With the Daniels, where we help couples get it on in life, marriage and ministry. I'm here today with my wife Tisa. I'm Charles and we want to get started today and talk to you about some stuff, so baby, let's introduce ourselves.
Speaker 2:
I am Tisa, how y'all doing, so what do you? Do what do?
Speaker 1:
I do. Yeah, what are all your labels, your titles, you, what do you characterize by? What do people call you?
Speaker 2:
they call me pastor t or pastor tisa. I'm the pastor of the truth church here in memphis, tennessee okay I'm a mother, a wife.
Speaker 1:
Okay, okay, come on whose wife are you yours? I like that, I like that, I like that.
Speaker 2:
So so what are we going to be talking about?
Speaker 1:
Well On this podcast. This podcast. We're going to be talking not this episode, but this podcast. We're going to be talking about life, we're going to talk about ministry, we're going to talk about marriage and everything in between, basically just helping people with all around stuff. It's basically our life kind of being documented and we're sharing the principles and tools and strategies that we've learned that other people can benefit from yeah I think it's going to be a great time so what about, like family, blended families, all, all of it all of it all of it.
Speaker 2:
Nothing is off limits.
Speaker 1:
Oh they're gonna really get to know us in a new way. You know most people have known us as apostle daniels Tisa and that's really all they've seen of us, Right, Unless their family are close and they kind of know a little bit about being around us. And most people who are around us they really enjoy being around us, yes, Seeing who we are, how we are, and you know we often hear people say y'all need a TV show.
Speaker 2:
We need a show so this is the beginning.
Speaker 1:
Maybe, if there's a broadcast, a network watching, us, keep watching. You might have yourself a hit.
Speaker 2:
So, for those that wanted us to have a TV show, this is the closest thing that we have to a TV show right now. So this podcast, absolutely. So if you want to get to know more about us, just keep tuning in.
Speaker 1:
Keep tuning in. This is going gonna be doing it with the daniels and people have asked for it. They, they wanted it. Uh, even people asking about marriage. Yeah, you know, we did the marriage conference last month yeah like when y'all gonna give us more. So this will be opportunity for us to give them more. So, hey, it's coming soon, yeah, it's here. Stay tuned, we about to do it, so so let's talk about how we met yes, how I met my soul mate.
Speaker 1:
Oh, I'm your soul mate. I mean, if that's what you want to call it soulmate, life partner, best friend, lover, baby mama all that good stuff okay, how do we meet? So we did, we did talk about.
Speaker 1:
That was like it's a long time ago yes, we've been 19 years, yes, this year, and so we're talking about going back to 2000,. Really, like 20 years ago we met 2004. Yeah, 2004 when we met. So how did it happen? I'm sure we got some variations to this story, so I'll let you start what you think it started.
Speaker 2:
Well, so we met at work, right? Well, I was working and you were coming in to get a job. I think you were coming to do an interview, right?
Speaker 1:
yeah, I was. So I was in college. I was in college and I needed a job. A job need some money. I need some money because I was, I think I just moved out, just moved off campus, and I got an apartment. I was like I was getting ready to get an apartment. I was like, yeah, I gotta have some money if I'm gonna get an apartment. So I went looking for a job. I had worked summer jobs in banking so I was like, let me go get a job as a bank teller, because I've done that before, I can do that again. And so I go into the bank and, hey, apply for a job. And I apply, get a call back, go through the whole HR process and they assign me to the branch you were working in yes, right exactly so I walk into the branch I remember what you had on.
Speaker 2:
You had on like a white button-down shirt with like a blue peacoat. You walked in with your head all up in the air and I was like who is this guy?
Speaker 1:
oh, you was looking real hard I mean, I was looking it's cemented into your memory.
Speaker 2:
It's cemented in my memory. You know what I?
Speaker 1:
was wearing and everything.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, I had you from oh, whatever, okay, but anyway let's keep going, keep going.
Speaker 1:
So we go in. I go in right, show up, I come in, I'm looking for, at that time the. The manager name was lester and I'm I'm looking for him. I think I did. I asked you, or I asked somebody like, hey, where is he? I'm here to see him and I have to stand there. And while I'm standing there I see this cute little girl sitting over in the corner back there working, and I kind of glance over and look, I see you. I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm looking for less. I'm trying to take care of that. I didn't know what the deal was, but finally end up getting hired. I get hired, I come in and start now, once you got hired, who trained you?
Speaker 1:
you did. They assigned me to you, which I was like okay, let's see where this goes. They assigned me to you. You start training me and while you're training me, I'm checking you out, I'm like okay, she seemed nice, she trained me, she's showing me whatnot I'm like I wonder if there's anything more that could come of this. But I was still young and wilding out. Oh, you had some issues back then.
Speaker 2:
You were still doing your thing.
Speaker 1:
I wouldn't call them issues.
Speaker 2:
I was just Just what, just living life, you know.
Speaker 1:
Okay, Living life doing me whatever. I was in college. Okay, I was in a fraternity which I have since renounced, Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:
And. I was in a fraternity which I have since renounced, and I was frat boy life, you know at that time Doing what I was doing and enjoying myself.
Speaker 1:
But when I met you, it got really interesting, really interesting. So when I first saw you, when I first started thinking about like could this really be something? I was like I looked at you, I was like she cute. But I'll tell you what I really thought. I really was like, well, looked at you, I was like she cute. But I'll tell you what I really thought.
Speaker 1:
I really was like well, she's skinny really yeah, and I was like I want somebody with a little bit more on them, you know, not real skinny. But then I had another thought. I was like if she's the one, if we get together, we get married, a couple of babies, she'd be right. So I was like, cool, cool, that's what I can do, that. And then I was like we'll see what comes up, like maybe I'll just date her for a while, see what happens in new hall, okay, but what was your thought?
Speaker 2:
so my thought for you was I would look at you some days and I'll be like yeah, and then I look at you again. I was like nah.
Speaker 1:
What's the nah for?
Speaker 2:
Because you were just different. You were different from what I normally would talk to. Just, you know, I don't know Just the way you dress, the way you were, how you talk, it was just, it was different from what I usually date. So I will go back and forth in my mind like, yeah, he cute, but nah. And then you know, I will see your interaction, sometimes at work and how you would checking women out when they came in. I was like man, this dude, right here you were checking people out.
Speaker 2:
So I was like this dude, right here, he on something else.
Speaker 2:
So I'm straight how, you don't know, I was looking for my soulmate, you were looking for something. You were definitely looking, so I would. You know, I had those moments and I was just like I don't know about this but, um, I can't even remember how we started to like talk and hang out and all that stuff you remember that, um, I think we just started talking, we just chatted for a little while and somewhere along the way I was like hey, you want to hang out?
Speaker 1:
I think I just kind of presented you because you definitely didn't say anything to me. I think I was like, hey, you want to hang out, do something whatever. He was like, yeah, let's, let's go hang out and see what comes of it. And I think at that point both of both of us had kind of taken notice of each other but still had not said anything right beyond that, like I'm interested. It was just like why don't we just hang out more so on a friend?
Speaker 1:
yes, yeah and I think that's important, important to kind of keep in mind that, like you said, I wasn't what you were looking for when, when I looked at you, you wasn't what I was used to or the image I had in my mind, but in reality I think this is a powerful principle for even single people to realize. Like your soulmate may not fit your list of required qualities in a mate, but I believe 100% this was a God thing.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it definitely was.
Speaker 1:
I believe God brought us together, put us together and we had to get out of our own way. Exactly.
Speaker 2:
To see it, because you will normally see it looking at all the outward things. And you know I could have been like, yeah, that ain't it and kept it moving and I would have missed God just like you said, I wasn't what you were used to.
Speaker 1:
And then me growing up in the church, you know, I was kind of told I needed me a good church girl. Oh, you wasn't so much of a church girl, so what does that mean?
Speaker 2:
so what was that?
Speaker 1:
a work in progress. But I mean, you went to church uh-huh, but you wasn't like deep in church yeah, so with me being in church, in ministry, all that. It was very different but I made a decision. I didn't want a church girl right like I was on.
Speaker 1:
I was on that like I wanted somebody who loved God and would go to church. But I didn't want like miss little, miss missionary. You know I didn't want. I didn't want little evangelist, I wanted somebody who could love me and I wanted somebody who I could be attracted to. Right, because I hate to say this, but sometimes in church some of the women just ain't that attractive. At least that was my experience growing up, okay. But but uh, I mean, now it's different. You know, women learn how to put on makeup and all that kind of stuff and I dress a little bit better.
Speaker 1:
Back then they didn't do nothing, you know just, couldn't do none, it was natural okay, like you need some enhancements if you want some attention, so but but it's a little different now. But I didn't want that. I want somebody that every day I could look at her and be like, yeah, I like her, I like being married to her, and that was that's what I saw on you, okay. And so we, you know, we decided we were going to go out. Uh, on our first date, our first date, no, I do not. So the first day it wasn't really like a date we just say we're gonna hang out because we were just friends. It wasn't really like a date. We just said we was gonna hang out because we were just friends it wasn't like a boyfriend girl.
Speaker 1:
Right, let's hook up, type yeah we just friends, we kicking it, we hanging out.
Speaker 1:
I remember where we went. We hung out. I think I came to your apartment and we left the apartment and you was like, well, let's go hang out. Well, this is the day you don't know. If you remember, you had a set routine. You had a set day of the week when you would wash your car.
Speaker 1:
I think it was friday. Uh-huh, friday, we get our work. We got our work. I came to your apartment, we got in your car, like what we're gonna do? Like I don't know what you're gonna do, but I'm gonna wash my car, because I wash my car on friday. Oh, my god, all right, so I'm gonna go to the car wash with you. I'm thinking we're getting ready to drive through a car wash, automated car wash. You pull up at the old school, spray your car down car wash and get out, yeah, and I'm looking like okay, this is what we're doing. So I'm standing out there with you and you start spraying your car down and you know what I almost said put up the deuces to you that day, because ladies don't do this.
Speaker 2:
He sat there and I did.
Speaker 1:
I couldn't believe we was out here washing your car Like we probably talking, like we go to the movies we go out to eat.
Speaker 2:
You didn't try to help me or nothing. It was sad.
Speaker 1:
I was like I was trying to figure out what I was doing there. We supposed to be trying to get to know each other, but I told you where we were going. Yeah, but I'm not going to like be an obvious jerk and be like no, I'm straight, call me when you get done.
Speaker 2:
Well, it's even worse. You there and didn't help.
Speaker 1:
I mean looking back now, yeah, but I was like hey, I don't know how you like your car washed. Oh my God, I have a certain way of washing your car. So I just kind of stayed out of the way. No, but I talked to you while you washed the car. No, but I talked to you while you washed the car? Yeah, you did. We talked, we chatted.
Speaker 2:
But the thing about it, we weren't dating, we were friends. Come on, friends, friends.
Speaker 1:
So I wasn't obligated to wash your car. No but you could have helped friend. Hey, it is what it is now. But hey, that happened and I guess I must have looked over it or I just didn't really consider it, just really getting to know you at that point probably already looks wrong, so you know I don't think so probably so no, we're in that.
Speaker 1:
That was kind of that date I guess we want to call it a date, but but I think from there building that friendship yeah is what really laid a foundation for us, because we got to know each other yeah and we decided that we actually liked each other as a person, not just oh you're so attractive, I want to date you, and we jump straight to dating, which I think is another powerful principle. For those of you watching, I think it's important that people don't just jump into, let's fall in love yeah, tomorrow yeah why not?
Speaker 1:
let's take. Let's take it slow. Let's be friends. Yes, there is an attraction, but let's take our time and get to know each other and make sure we like each other's people, you know, because you don't know if you really like a person until you see them in different environments right and I think that's really good, because a lot of people want to be married so quick and for you you weren't in a position where you wanted to be married at all.
Speaker 1:
I wanted to be married not just waiting in a hurry to be right and see, a lot of people are in a hurry.
Speaker 2:
And you know me, back in the day, what did I tell you? I ain't getting married, I ain't getting married. So for that thing I think that worked well for us, because we wasn't like trying to jump into marriage like like these. Like now everybody's like oh, I want to find my mate because I'm gonna get married and all this stuff, and I don't think we were on any of that now I will say, because the type person I am, that was like a challenge for me.
Speaker 1:
When you say it ain't never get married, and I started getting, I was like, oh, you, you're gonna marry me, you're gonna be my wife, we're gonna change that, ain't never get married. Oh, in my mind, I took it and I was like, oh yeah, this is a challenge. It's just what I need, because men are hunter. We like a challenge. I mean a real man. Now, a man don't want to challenge you. Don't need to be with him, no way if he gonna chase you and pursue you, as is for the women if he gonna do all that you need to have, you need to be concerned.
Speaker 1:
But I was like, no, I'm willing, I'm up for the chase because I believe I can overcome, I believe I can catch you, I can get you and you'll be my wife, mother, my children and all of that. But I never told you, your college life you weren't. I mean I wasn't ready, but I knew I was gonna chase you when that time came, okay got you.
Speaker 2:
You know I was having fun, all right. So after the date, after our first initial dating and hanging out and all of that stuff, what changed?
Speaker 1:
I don't know, I think it just happened naturally, I think from friendship. It went to man. I love this girl. You know, I don't know who said it first you remember who?
Speaker 2:
said it first.
Speaker 1:
It was probably you, it's probably you, he said it first. I don't know, I just remember man, we used to I mean I guess this is getting into kind of when dating kind of came around. If we really dated we Really didn't date. Yeah, we really didn't date.
Speaker 2:
Really it kind of was a like. It kind of was like went to engagement.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, pretty much, pretty much, but that's kind of how we met. It was some ups and downs, because I think when we first met, the month I met you, or the month we hung out or started developing a friendship, that was the month I actually went out of town.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and that was a whole nother. Well, you went, you actually went out of town twice.
Speaker 1:
Well, but the first time I went out of town. The second time wasn't a big deal. The first time I went out of town almost ruined us. How are you saying?
Speaker 2:
it's your story to tell.
Speaker 1:
Well, Well, I mean, you was the one that had feelings about it Just the other day you brought it up.
Speaker 2:
I did you still answer my questions?
Speaker 1:
Ain't no questions to be answered? It's 19 years later.
Speaker 2:
Well, that's why you should answer it.
Speaker 1:
Ain't nothing to talk about. Well, you bringing it up, but I'm just I'm bringing it up, but so I went out. I went out of town with some friends. We had a trip planned, but this was before I met you this. Before we started working, we had already planned a trip to hang out and it was like a couple's trip with y'all listening, listen to this name listening hope y'all listening.
Speaker 1:
It was a couple's trip with me and a couple other friends when we all went out of town on a little trip, just a little getaway some friends from college and we had a great time, you know, and uh, sure you did. And you, when I got back you were just kind of like so what was that about? And I was like we just friends, we just friends, everybody was coupled up but it was just friends, just just hanging out.
Speaker 2:
Friends, you use that word a lot, you know that. Right, I did, but we were just friends, I didn't have a girlfriend. So what was I?
Speaker 1:
You wasn't my girlfriend We'll talk about that later remember. But we were just friends, remember. So if we were friends, that means I can still be friends with whoever I want to be friends with.
Speaker 2:
Y'all listen to all this game, right? I had to really break you from that, because you broke me Uh-huh I did. I did you talking big on this podcast. I did Because you thought that by calling everybody your friend, that you were safe and that you can go here and go there and and go hang out with this one, go hang out with that one and everybody, everybody my friend, that's just my friend okay, what I tell?
Speaker 1:
you I don't know, everybody ain't your friend. Well, yeah, I mean, your friend is a game thing. Friend. If a guy trying to be a player and he got all these female friends, he probably is running game, uh-huh, um, because yeah, we just as me, and we just don't have a bunch of female friends just all around constant calling this, that, the other, I'm not saying they don't have any friends.
Speaker 1:
I know we've chosen in our marriage that we don't have friends of the opposite sex, that we just like that's my best friend, that's my, but we really just don't do that yeah, uh, especially not with somebody you was in a previous relationship with right you know, with some people still do that.
Speaker 1:
I think that's dangerous, it's really dangerous. But but yeah, I kind of went out of town, came back and I was like, hey, what we gonna do? And you was like, what were you doing on your trip? I was like nothing, friends. And that's when I knew kind of that you want a little bit more. That, although we weren't dating per se or boyfriend, girlfriend, I think, in your mind you was like well, we're going to do this, we're going to even explore this as friends. Then we got to do it a certain kind of way and you got to kind of cut some ties.
Speaker 2:
Well, yeah, because at that time you were spending all your time with me. Every day after work you was coming to my house and we spending time together, we're going out, we're hanging out, we're spending like a lot of time together. But you know, you still had those moments where you would try to hang out with yeah, it's just my friend or your phone ringing and talking to this person. And so I was just like okay, basically this, this guy could be blocking number one because he don't want to take it a step further, but he wants to be around me all the time. So I was like we got to figure this thing out.
Speaker 1:
I mean I was definitely blocking? Yeah, he was, I wasn't done playing, but when nobody else gonna get close to you, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:
So you were blocking, exactly, and so I had to. I had to like my mind.
Speaker 1:
I already knew I wanted you right. I just wasn't ready come on right there, I was still playing oh so I mean that's that's and here's another part of meeting your soulmate or finding the right one for you. It's not going to always be perfect condition there may have to be some patience, there may have to be some understanding yeah there may have to be some come to jesus meetings right, there may have to be some some reality checks yeah and some conversations about what do you really?
Speaker 1:
want doing yeah and I think that's kind of where we got to. It was like okay, at first you was kind of like I know he planned whatever, but then it kind of went to how long you gonna play exactly you know, if we gonna do something, we gonna do it, if not, we gonna push on right yeah, because I was.
Speaker 2:
I wasn't looking to be married, but I was looking to be with somebody who I could potentially marry, and so I was just like, okay, he playing games and I'm just not down with it.
Speaker 1:
So we gotta figure this thing out and that leads to when we wanted to look into the whole dating piece. Right, right, we need to save that and talk about that for the next podcast so you gotta, y'all gotta come back, y'all gotta catch us for the next one to find out about our dating journey or our dating game, because it was some games we played it was interesting.
Speaker 2:
What'd you say? I was getting ready to say yeah, of course y'all can see that there was definitely some games being played in the beginning and we'll have to but I wasn't the only one playing games.
Speaker 1:
But we'll get back to that. I was not playing games. Oh, yeah, right, thank y'all for joining us. Listen, hope you enjoyed it. Got some helpful things. We'll be back. Catch us on the next one. All right, hey, thank you for joining us for doing it with the Daniels. If you want to keep up with everything going on on our channel, don't forget to like comment, subscribe and share this podcast. Absolutely. We'll see you next time.