How to Reclaim Your Purpose and Pursue Your Dreams with Marie Kueny

Unlock the secrets to self-discovery and empowerment with Marie Kueny, founder of Goddess of Light Retreats, in our latest episode.

Marie opens up about overcoming a challenging upbringing marked by adult responsibilities and conservative values that often silenced women's voices. Drawing from her mother's courageous transformation, Marie underscores the importance of support and self-belief in creating new beginnings. She passionately discusses her shift from a school counselor to empowering women, especially matriarchs, to reclaim their power and pursue their dreams, leveraging visualization techniques to ease transitions and reduce fear.

In our conversation, we also delve into the power of visualization and embodiment in manifesting desires, and why connecting with nature and practicing mindfulness are vital for spiritual growth. Marie provides actionable insights on navigating significant life transitions, from career changes to personal losses, and emphasizes the courage required to follow one's true calling. Don't miss out on Marie's special gift for our listeners—the "Goddess Activation Hour" mini retreat—details shared in the episode's conclusion. Tune in for an enriching and powerful discussion that promises to inspire and transform.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 2:00

I'm here with the fabulous Marie. Do you want to go ahead and tell the listeners just a little bit about who you are and your background?

Speaker 2: 2:06

Sure, I'd be happy to. So my name is Marie Cooney. I am the founder of Goddess of Light Retreats and a mama of three little ones, so I have a four, six and 10 year old. So they keep me nice and busy, very busy, and really, truly. My background is really in supporting women and helping them to find that goddess within.

Speaker 2: 2:31

So for a long time I really doubted and really held myself back.

Speaker 2: 2:49

One point that happened in which I knew that life is just absolutely too important to hold ourselves back from, and the more that we can just truly open and be, more that our lives will be more enriching and we can help more people too, and so really helping other women to discover what it is about them that makes them powerful and passionate and reconnecting with that.

Speaker 2: 3:07

Because as we grow and meet the expectations try to meet the expectations of life and career and family and all the pieces oftentimes we start to lose ourselves and we lose that very essence of what makes us unique and what makes us really special and I don't mean more special than someone else, but really it makes us special to us where we feel completely alive and vibrant and excited to get out of bed in the morning and I noticed that there was a point where I just was not feeling that way, where I just was not feeling that way, and I started to notice that many of my friends and coworkers were also feeling just that heaviness when we have all of these demands and tasks and expectations. And so I thought, well, what if we could have a day, a week or moments, even throughout the day, in which we reconnect with the essence of who we are, and what does that look like and what does that mean?

Speaker 1: 4:16

So much to unpack there that I want to talk about.

Speaker 1: 4:20

You've hit on so many points that resonate so deeply with me. First of all, I have to say I'm just in love, even with the name Goddess of Light. You know, goddess is like a super powerful word for me, because I grew up in such a culture and faith and goddess was not a word and if it was used it was like in conjunction with past Greek mythology, something that was so irrelevant to my life and my future, like my eternal life. It was just God, god, god, male, male, male, and I really felt like we totally lacked that feminine divinity and I just think how much more powerful would it be if we gave, like all genders, the ability to see themselves as divine beings and know that there's a place for them.

Speaker 1: 5:05

And I think I felt so much of my life like, well, what do you need me for except to have children for you?

Speaker 1: 5:10

You know, like I felt very objectified that way, even though no one specifically told me I was an object, and so I and all the things you're saying about, like feeling lost in tasks and the day to day and family life and jobs and just the simple like life is so busy for us, there's so much to keep up with I find that I have even a hard time just keeping up with like friendships, because I can't text enough people in the daytime, like it's, and I hate being on my phone. So I like like sometimes my very good friends, I like can't even get back to them for days because I'm like, well, I don't, I want to give you a real answer, so I'm going to have to set it down until I have time for you, and then it'll be like five days and I'm finally like, oh, I never texted her back, no-transcript. And your circle can be so small and you're just radiant because you're so full and joyful.

Speaker 2: 6:33

Yes, 100%, 100%. That is exactly accurate. That is the exact way that I would describe my mission, because it's let me put it this way when we have that worthiness within ourselves, when we understand who we are at our very core, then how can anyone knock us down? And so when we are up against challenges, or if someone maybe doubts us, or just life happens and it becomes overwhelming, when we are truly locked into who we are, we can flow with, we can continue, we can put up that filter essentially and say, okay, I don't need to let these other ideas and opinions and beliefs like permeate into who I am, because I'm so focused in who I am, what my values are, what my worth is and why I'm here, what my mission on earth is essentially. And so we really do become unshakable and unstoppable, even when we need to rest or slow down, which is absolutely important and valid. But even through that, we're able to rest, take a break and not lose sight of what truly is important of what truly is important.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Yeah, so tell me, like your background and how, like, who were you and who are you now, and what prompted you know, this inner look for yourself? I'd love to hear, because it seems like people don't start these types of things unless they've had a lot of contrast to show them. I really need to start these things and inspire this in other women. A lot of contrast to show them.

Speaker 2: 8:26

I really need to start these things and inspire this in other women. So I'd love to hear your background. Yes, that's so true. So really growing up was, let's say, I didn't get to experience much of a childhood.

Speaker 2: 8:50

I really was put into adult situations from a very young age and that was very difficult. I didn't realize that at the time. I thought I'm so responsible if I'm having to care for a younger sibling or even work through challenges that my parents were having. There was a lot of trauma too in my past, and so as I started to get older, I started to realize that not everyone's life looked like that, that a lot of my friends they had two parent homes in which you know there wasn't fighting and screaming and you know there was always food on the table, you know things like that where I started to see some of these differences and I realized things did not have to look that way for me as I got older. I could make a change, I could do something different.

Speaker 2: 9:46

So it was really having that opportunity to see that something else was possible that made me realize that the way that I grew up I did not have to continue, that I did not have to continue down that path.

Speaker 2: 10:01

I did not have to continue, that I did not have to continue down that path, and so I won't go into all of the details. But what I will say is important in that regard is, first of all, what you said earlier really resonated because, even through those challenges that were going on at home, I was growing up in a conservative with conservative Christian values and I spent several years in a Lutheran church and school. I went to a parochial school for several years as well, and there's always a disconnect for me because it felt very much that I as a person was not being honored. And there's also a disconnect because my mom was not fully in her power and I could see, even at a young age, how that was so closely related to the fact that within that religion, the male is seen as the all-powerful and women are simply to be, quiet and to obey, and that did not sit well with me.

Speaker 2: 11:22

Support, right, support, yes, yes, yes. And so I would think well, what if? What if my mom did feel that, if she had a voice, if she did find her power, if she felt that she could stand up and say you are not allowed to treat me this way, are not allowed to treat me this way, this is not okay. Like what if right that were possible and fortunately, eventually it did come to that and she was able to make her changes so that we had a safer environment and she actually went back. She had dropped out of high school and she went back. She got her degree and she started college courses and, um, you know, had had a place for us and I was so proud that she made that transition.

Speaker 2: 12:19

And again, it was just one of those subtle signs. Well, maybe not so subtle, it was quite, quite a big transition in our family life. But to know that truly anything is possible, even when you're in a place that it feels feels like everything is going wrong, right that, when you have support, when you have someone that believes in you, when you start to believe in yourself that you can make those changes to do something different, and that really inspiring me as well, because I then that gave me another motivation, because I knew that women in particular, they needed to see more of that. They needed to be able to know that it didn't matter what our past looks like, it didn't matter what decisions or choices that we may have made in the past, that we can always begin again and truly that when there is something that doesn't align with our heart and our soul, that when we release that and when we step into what truly does align, even if it's scary, even if it feels like you know, it's a mountain in front of us.

Speaker 2: 13:47

How can we possibly ever get to the top?

Speaker 2: 13:51

That it is achievable. And when you do get to that top of the mountain, it's just the most spectacular view, because you can see all that you've been through, you can see how strong you are, you can see how courageous you are, you can see all that you've been through, you can see how strong you are, you can see how courageous you are. You can see all the people that have supported you along the way as well, and so, for me, just really reflecting on that again made such a positive difference for me. So I ended up professionally becoming a school counselor, because I wanted to support children who are going through some really difficult times, like I did as a child. I wanted them to also have a voice and to be heard and to be believed and to understand that they could make different choices, if needed, than maybe others in their family or in their neighborhood, and that was a beautiful experience for me, and, honestly, once I had my own children, though, my focus really became on them and then expanding out to the matriarchs right of the households.

Speaker 1: 15:10

Yeah Gosh, I again so much to unpack there. I can't imagine just the little detail you shared about your family growing up like your mother, having no high school degree and growing up in that kind of culture where you're just not empowered anyways. The courage and fortitude to make those changes with like three kids depending on you, that like that is a lot. I that's incredible. And how old were you when she finally was able to do that?

Speaker 2: 15:41

So it took some time. You know, as with a lot of domestic violence situations, it sometimes is the woman leaves their relationship and comes back. And if you're a person who's supporting, because you just want to stream, what are you doing? Why are you going back, like it? It doesn't make logical sense, but there's and I won't get into the psychology part of it but there's some deep psychological, um, you know, strings, I'll say that are connected here, that it doesn't have to make logical sense. If you know somebody who's in that situation, being compassionate is the number one and letting the person know I'm here for you. Even if you make a choice that I don't agree with, I'm still here for you. And so, essentially, there were many times when she attempted to leave and come, you know, came back.

Speaker 2: 16:51

But I would say it was around nine or 10 years old when finally she made that break and did not look back. And for me that was very empowering. Not that I didn't love my dad, right, that's not the case but I knew how unhealthy that was, even at a young age, because children pick up on things. They know when something feels good and peaceful and joyful and they know when something is completely off and it doesn't right, it doesn't feel good, and so so, yeah, it was around nine or ten wow, okay, I I am.

Speaker 1: 17:36

You know you said I don't want to go into the specifics of, like, the psychological reasons why people stay, but I look at that's a very, um, very intense kind of extreme example of how we we stay rooted in the familiar because it's so scary to step outside, even though the grass could be much greener on the other side, but it's just the unknown is too scary, right, and I see women who are not in those types of extreme traumatic circumstances but who are, just like, unhappy and living life, they're bored or they're complacent or they're unfulfilled or they're unhappy in their marriage or with their job or whatever, and we still don't make the changes because it's so hard and it's so scary.

Speaker 1: 18:16

And so, while your mother's situation certainly is a much more extreme example, tell me, as a school counselor, psychologist, like is it the same, would you say? It's kind of the same psychosis that's going on where we're just we, we like, want to stay and the ego controls us, and we just want to stay in this like safe little box, even if it's miserable, because it's too hard to leave, it's too scary.

Speaker 2: 18:38

Like what if?

Speaker 1: 18:38

we fail? What if it all goes? How am I going to do this Like it's too much right?

Speaker 2: 18:42

We're so worried about tell me what you think about that, cause I'm not a school counselor. Yes, yes. And what I will say about that is both through a professional lens, personal lens, coaching lens is that it? It comes from the same cloth, if you will, because, just as you said, it's that sense of safety, of security. So you know, you may have heard in the past that we really are wired to essentially keep ourselves safe at all costs.

Speaker 2: 19:15

Now our brain thinks that safety is staying alive. Right, that's, that's the basic thing, like, as long as we're alive, as long as we're still breathing, we're good and so right. And so what happens is that if we are going on with life, we're just doing our day to day, even if it is draining, even if it is boring, even if it does not align with our soul's calling right, all of those pieces, even if it's not really the life that we desire. It's safe because, look, we're still here. Our brain is saying everything that you're doing is the right choice because you are still here, you are still present. And so what happens is when we make a change that is not of the ordinary, that is not in our even regular routine, and if we expand even further to, let's say, changing a career or a relationship, let's say changing a career or a relationship.

Speaker 1: 20:31

Oh, my goodness Like that just Ooh.

Speaker 2: 20:33

sometimes you feel too much, yeah Right. So, like, sometimes, our bodies actually start having that flight fries excuse me, the flight freeze or fight mode, and so maybe the heart is beating really fast, maybe you know your palms are sweaty, maybe your breathing just starts to change Because, again, you're stepping out of what has kept you safe for so long. And so, when we are stepping into the unknown, it's but am I going to be okay If I change careers? Is this actually going to, you know, support me? Am I going to survive this? Is it all going to work out in the end? And we don't have the evidence that, yes, you will be okay. So we essentially have to train ourselves.

Speaker 2: 21:26

Okay, let's say it this way, I like to see it as our future selves. So what I do and I have meditations, and I actually have a book that is in the editing phase it's exciting. Yes, yes, I'm really excited about it, and it's all about connecting with our future self. Yes, I'm really excited about it and it's all about connecting with our future self. So what I do is I put myself in the shoes of my future self and I think well, what does my future self need for me to feel safe? And I will use visualization techniques, for example. So let's say it is a career change, so I visualize what that feels like to step into that next level of who I'm becoming. I imagine who am I surrounded with, who are the people that are supporting me. I might imagine even what are the clothes I'm wearing. I really try to embody that future self so that my nervous system starts to feel safer in that environment.

Speaker 2: 22:40

And so we're kind of training our nervous system, training our brain to get more comfortable and confident with those situations by that type of visualization. And so you can meditate for a few minutes. You can take, you know, 15, 20 minutes, whatever it is, to again just really embody that essence of the change. Or if you're moving, for example, like imagine your new surroundings and breathing, like breathing through these calm, deep breaths, and it starts to re-regulate everything within the body, all of the emotions, so that you're not in that state of, so that you're not in that state of we'll say we'll say extreme dysregulation, in which you stop yourself from moving forward.

Speaker 2: 23:33

Because sometimes that happens is that we have this, we have this desire and we end up stopping ourselves from taking action on it because it feels so unknown, so out of our control and it's really unfortunate when that happens, because it could be a really beautiful opportunity. And if we learn how to work with our nervous system, we learn how to work with our nervous system. We learn how to work with our emotions. We use these tools, such as visualization and there's more, but that's a really powerful one that you know. Even professional athletes use those types of tools really help us to stay grounded and focused and able to do quote unquote scary things, but in a way that doesn't feel so scary anymore, that it feels more exciting.

Speaker 1: 24:28

Yeah, so as you're sitting here talking about this, I'm like sorry, visualization is a big part of um, like I'm really big into the law of attraction and meditating and I do a lot of like inner work that way and the power of it when it's so intentional is is very potent.

Speaker 1: 24:48

But even I was reminded gosh, this has been eight years ago I think I was getting divorced, or I was. I was thinking I needed to get divorced and I was like in the lowest part of my life and I was so scared I didn't know how I was going to support my two kids. I was facing like horrible family. They all really wanted me to stay in it and I just knew like deep down in my soul that I could not stay in that situation. It was going to destroy me, um, but I couldn't see a way out of it. And I had this like one moment after months and months of like really feeling but I I think I need to, but I can't do it. And I was like walking. I lived in Texas and I was walking in the sunshine and pushing my stroller and I like stopped for a minute because I had like a very intense visual come into my mind and it was actually my future self and it was like a year in the future and I like had some unknown job.

Speaker 1: 25:49

It was almost like I was dreaming like daydreaming happening to me, right, and I had it was so cool, I had like this. It seriously lasted like maybe five seconds and I just had like this kind of fuzzy image of me in the future and I was working and I was okay and I was happy and it was the right thing. And then it like left again. It wasn't even like I intentionally had the visualization, like I really felt in that moment it was like goddess coming down and filling me with it to propel me forward because I was so stuck?

Speaker 1: 26:13

Yes, and I'm just remembering this now, but that reminded me.

Speaker 1: 26:18

And that one five little second very fuzzy visual and the feeling that accompanied it was enough to like, to make me decide and and feel OK. It gave me enough courage, Like I still had a lot to work through, but it was definitely the catalyst and this tiny little thread that I could hold on to, to like pull me up, and that really did sustain me and I'm like just remembering that I didn't even journal about it. But so imagine imagine doing visualizations every day when you're faced with desires that feel so uncomfortable, and how much more powerful and how faster and easier it would be if you intentionally did that for yourself, versus God coming down to just quick, give me a nudge, you know cause I was so lost.

Speaker 1: 27:05

But so I love that. I think that's really powerful. When I was in high school, I had a cross country coach who really wanted us to do a lot of visual visualization and I remember just being so like this is lame. No, this is dumb. I'm sitting here and I'm like, okay, I'm just like it did not land with me at all. But you're right, Professional athletes like, I think, anyone who considers themselves a master manifester that's like a buzz term these days that's what they do. They really get what?

Speaker 1: 27:33

they want and they picture it and they step into the feeling and it's so powerful.

Speaker 2: 27:38

I love it and you know the difference. I'm so glad that you mentioned the feeling of it, because the difference is some people think all I have to do is think about it.

Speaker 2: 27:49

I have to kind of imagine it Right, exactly, and so it really is truly becoming that version like feeling. That's why I had mentioned, too like you know what are you wearing, who are the people around you really Like, you are literally stepping into a movie of your future self and you know playing that role, and so will it look exactly the same? No, probably not. Now you might get an awareness and opening where you maybe even do see an aspect that does happen, but that's not what we're looking for. What we're really looking for when we're doing that visualization is that full body feeling of what really would that look like? Because if you're thinking about it only, it's so different than okay, let's say, oh, let me ask you what's? Where, is somewhere in the world that you would love to go?

Speaker 1: 28:52

me. Do you have like a dream? Um, yes, I, oh gosh, I want to go back to. I think I want to go back to Greece. Actually, oh, I've only been there once on like a minute training cruise, but I didn't get to spend time there and I'd love to go back, okay, Well, that's really funny, because I'm having a goddess retreat in Greece next. August.

Speaker 2: 29:17

Lovely, yes, yes, so, okay. So now, if you think and just play along with me for a moment, but if you think I want to go to Greece, like just that thought, I want to go to Greece and really imagine being surrounded by the beautiful blue waters, smelling the fresh air, maybe even tasting that delicious Greek food and any memories of sights, of sounds that came through, of tastes, using all of the senses that you have connecting with that location. The wind in your hair, maybe seeing all of the architecture that Greece is known for, maybe visiting the rooms that are there, being surrounded by the energy of the goddesses, the historical goddesses, and now just taking a moment to notice how your body feels and just slowly coming back to the present moment, here in this space so I already so I already see you.

Speaker 2: 31:06

I know that this is the listeners here, but I can see right now and you had the smile coming over your face and you almost had this like. I saw this like motion happening in your body too. So I would love to hear your experience of the difference between the cognitive thinking about it and the actual visualizing and embodying it.

Speaker 1: 31:31

Totally, and I think that listeners, if you're doing this exercise, can probably really relate to this. So when it's just when you just say, okay, think about where you want to go I was like I want to go to Greece and then immediately my ego's going. But it's just when you just say, okay, think about where you want to go. I was like I want to go to Greece and then immediately my ego is going, but it's really expensive to get there and you don't have time for that and you have too many other things and aren't there so many other places you should be going. And what about your kids? Don't you want to take them, but you can't afford to take like so many. It's all why it's not possible and you shouldn't do it. And it's just a pipe dream, like it. Those are all like subconsciously just coming at me and I have to like consciously be like, oh, it's just stop and take a breath for a minute. But when you focus and forget all that and you're really into, like your sensory experience and you're imagining the specifics of it, even if you've never been to this place, like just what you think it might look like and how amazing it would be to just go walk on the beaches and go see Santorini with all the blues and the whites and the Mediterranean colors and all of that stuff, like I'm forgetting about all the reasons why I can't or shouldn't go, and so that's the difference.

Speaker 1: 32:40

It's like you're good. It's pulling out of the present or not the present. It's pulling out of the worry of the future and the anxiety and resentment of the past and being totally in this present moment where I'm like but I am in Greece, I don't need to feel bad, I'm not there, because my body's actually in Greece, like I'm enjoying these sites and I'm smelling the smells and I don't physically need to be there to be happy. Right, and then, once you can do that, it's like now I'm feeling enlivened and excited and I don't know if you could see me in the camera. I'm like sitting here, like kind of swaying and put my shoulders up and smiling, like I might as well be walking on the beach and putting my feet in the sea and like I've. That was a very different experience to view it that way than it is to view it from just the passing thought of I want to go to Greece.

Speaker 2: 33:33

Yes, I absolutely love that. And so what happens then is when you are truly in that embodiment, in that experience, your frequency is different. So, as you said, when you're just thinking about it, all of the what we think are logical reasons why it can't happen, they start to come to the forefront because, as we were talking about earlier, the safety, the brain says, well, but is this the safe thing to do, is this the most reasonable thing to do? And it searches for answers. And when it's searching for answers it's going to find the answers. But when we step into okay, can I be literally be of the frequency where I'm there, be of the frequency where I'm there, that's where the magic starts happening and that's where the true law of attraction and manifestation, that's when they can all come together, because the logical is essentially the 3D, what we can see. But when we get into the vibration and the frequency, get into the vibration and the frequency, that is the undercurrent of what we can't visually see. But that is happening because that is the energy that we are creating. So what happens then is that once you're embodying it, essentially we'll say, the energies of the universe have to kind of catch up to that. So it's like, oh, oh, wait a minute. Oh, this is the experience that she's desiring, that she's wanting, that she's feeling into, and it's not even that she's wanting, but that she is like this is her frequency, this is her vibration. Okay, so here are some different pieces that need to come together to make that happen.

Speaker 2: 35:20

And it's sort of like that need to come together to make that happen. And it's sort of like, it's almost like if you I'm getting this almost image of if you were to walk down your street, let's say there's a destination, let's say you have a good friend that lives at the end of your street, right, and you want to go to your good friend's house, but there's, you know, all these things in the way there's, maybe like moving trucks and construction and kids, and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm never going to get there because this is in the way and that is in the way. And I don't know, maybe, maybe this is too hard, maybe I should just give up, right, and that's our logical mind saying, oh, my goodness, like this is just not happening. But then what if we take a moment and we just pause and we just are in that moment of oh, I can't wait to be with my friend and to be, you know, just lounging in her backyard and we're drinking iced tea together and laughing, and and you start to just really have that desire coming through.

Speaker 2: 37:01

Your energy, your frequency starts to shift and change. When you go outside, those things might still be there, but guess what? Now you see a path that starts to form, and what's really fun about it is sometimes even because you are of a different frequency. Instead of going down the road, maybe angry or in a rush, and you know, when you're in a rush, everything starts to slow us down right. It's like that's when we're dropping things, that's when we're tripping over things.

Speaker 2: 37:34

But when we are calm, when we are of that frequency, of finding that inner peace, things start to shift almost like by magic. You know, maybe the kids who were playing in the road, that were in the way before they actually see you coming and they move on their own. You know, maybe they're construction workers. They're like oh, here's a clearer path for you, right? Like just, things start to shift and change. We see opportunities that we didn't see before and sometimes it's like not that they weren't there before, but our vision changes and and I've seen it before, where it does feel like magic, or just it's almost like by magic, things start to shift and new opportunities even start to unfold, where maybe you get a phone call and your friend says you don't have to drive over here and picking you up, girl, and we're going, you know, for a girl's weekend away, right, and so just really feeling into connecting to that future self, to your intuition, to that vibration of the desire versus the lack.

Speaker 1: 38:51

Yeah, right, cause there's such a difference when you say I really want to go to Greece, right, like the thought behind that is, well, I'll never get there, versus I'm so excited, someday I'd really like to go to Greece.

Speaker 1: 39:05

And then it's like have, none of them were logical and none of them were like easy for me to plan, like even back to like the birth of my first child. Like I tried to plan, I tried for like five, a few years. We tried to get pregnant and it wasn't working. And it wasn't working and I like I was fighting the system, system right, trying to get my body in line and then finally it all happened. And then I was like, well, of course she was supposed to come at this time because of this timing. Now these things have happened and I have these certain friends because our babies are the same age and this is where I'm at in my career and like it all worked out exactly how it be and I feel bad for myself that I spent so much time like railing against the system rather than just being like it'll come, it'll, it's fine, it'll come, you know same thing with the husband right the same thing I have with my husband now.

Speaker 1: 40:09

Like I couldn't have figured that out, he's 10 years older than me. If I had sat down as a 10 year old and written my life plan.

Speaker 2: 40:14

I wouldn't have said, oh, I want to marry this guy, he's 20 right now, like right, that's creepy.

Speaker 1: 40:20

None of that would have worked out Like I wouldn't have said I need to go through a divorce, I need to do this, like no, that would never have happened. But right, all the good things and amazing things in my life now like I can't figure it out.

Speaker 1: 40:32

I can't. They just have happened because I've been in the vibration of here's how I feel about myself and I want people and circumstances to match that I'm only available for love and beauty and support and kindness and I can't let anything else in, right, I mean, I tried. It's obviously we slip Right, but because we're human, but that's generally where I've tried to get, oh, 100%.

Speaker 2: 40:58

Yes, and that's the other thing too is, you know, we are all human and so there's going to be times, oh my goodness, I was just speaking with someone today where I said I need some perspective here, because sometimes we, when we are in the box, when we are in it, we don't have the perspective that maybe we could even have for others, like we need someone sometimes to support us in that.

Speaker 2: 41:26

But what I was thinking with that, too, is that it's so fascinating how you were mentioning that it's not just okay, identifying this is what I want and essentially, like I have to have it right. Like that's. That's not how it works, right, it is the feeling like stepping into the feeling. So, even with the grease example, you know, maybe that's exactly what will come through, maybe it's a different location that gives you that same feeling, but it's in a way that is aligned differently, right. So it's still aligned with what you need, what you desire. You know where you're going, what you need, what you desire, you know where you're going. But it's not necessarily that the outcome that we think has to be the exact match.

Speaker 1: 42:22

It's more about the essence of what that represents to us, yes, and it's funny because, as humans, we're, like so trained to want to know the specifics and want to have it all figured out, and it's very uncomfortable to step into that, that gray area, and not know and not have the control Right, and to just trust that the right thing will come, as long as you're available for it, rather than saying, no, but it has to be Greece, and it has to be this hotel on this beach at, like this week. I'm like, but that might not work out for you and there might be much better things in store, and if you can, but it's, it's difficult. I really, um, felt like that when I was. I grew up in a very conservative, high demand religion and over the last few years I transitioned, like out of that and really found what I believe in.

Speaker 1: 43:11

Um, but the the like black and white answers that didn't make much sense to me, but that they were given to me and were my story for so long, when I like, let go of those and I was left with oh, but, but what about this and what about that?

Speaker 1: 43:25

And and I had no answers anymore. Suddenly it was like whoa, the rug got swept out from under me and it was very uncomfortable for a little bit to sit in that gray space and trust my inner feeling of peace and knowing that I was doing the right thing for me, and not knowing the answers and not being able to explain certain things. But then there was such a beautiful transformation that happened with me that more I just like stepped into that and stopped needing. I stopped needing. I hate to need it's so uncomfortable to need things, need other people to believe me, need other people to believe me, need other people to understand me, need my family to be on board. Like I hate all that and the ones and even myself needing, like these things and once I could let go of that just didn't matter. Like then it was that.

Speaker 1: 44:10

Now it's kind of fun because I don't need the answers and I love talking to other people and hearing what they think about stuff and like learning all the perspectives and and like looking at it myself and then letting certain things sit with me and certain things go, and I'm I'm like very fluid, I think, these days. I think I learned and tell me you know, you said you grew up in a very conservative Christian church as well, but I used to hold on so tightly to certain even beliefs and I've just changed so drastically as I've grown up and had more experiences that have made me think so differently. Being so stuck one way, even in one viewpoint, kind of makes me like a little icky feeling. I feel like now I'm like I believe what I believe, but I really do put a grain of salt in my whole life because I want to be open to more truth, I want to be open to more experiences, like I.

Speaker 1: 45:10

I and I believe our eternal natures are evolving right. We're not just like one thing forever. Could you imagine? Not just like one thing forever? Could you imagine if we were one thing forever? I'm like could you imagine if I was still 15 years?

Speaker 1: 45:21

old, forever yeah, all right. If I was my 15 year old self, I was not as cool as I am now oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2: 45:34

And the 15 year old self that just wants to. You know, please, everybody else. Oh, no, thank you.

Speaker 1: 45:40

Yes, insecure people pleasing self like no, no way right. And I and I'm like now I know that there's still more for me to grow and I and I actually like the idea of being in motion and being open to new things that come my way, you know.

Speaker 2: 46:03

Yeah, it's just that feeling of playfulness, instead of being so serious and stuck in everything. It's just really being able to, like you said, have fun and be playful with it. Can life be just more free and fun and playful? Does it have to always be so? You know, serious and demanding and yes, there's times in which that is what is appropriate, and it's not 100% of the time, I promise.

Speaker 1: 46:30

So that? So that makes me wonder. Like, so in the work you do, do you? Is that where you meet a lot of women where they're at, are they like they've lost the playful motion in their lives? Like, tell me, tell me, I'd love to hear now, like how you embody this in your work, because you've transitioned out of being a nine to fiver. Right, you're not a school counselor anymore, you've got children. Are you home with the kids a lot of the time, but then working from home and doing building your business?

Speaker 2: 47:03

Yes, exactly, exactly so. Um, so, I've transitioned out and really, over the last few years, I've been growing and building, and I'm sure that you know that as we really grow our own businesses and brands. It's one of the most interesting personal development journeys as well, and so reminding myself to also be playful with it, to make it fun, to be passionate about it and, yes, it's serious but not to take it so seriously. And the women that I work with often are in that boat too, where they're making transitions.

Speaker 2: 47:45

Typically the women that I work with, they're at a point where they've done the things that were expected of them or that they expected of themselves, like they've met their basic goals, and now they're at the point where they're saying what else? I know that there's something else, like there's something more here for me, and I really need to connect with it. I really need to step into that. I need to gain more clarity on what that means to me, what that looks like, or even going through a transition point where they are not only maybe switching careers, but changing relationships, so or experiencing a loss that comes up quite a bit too, because when we experienced someone close to us that you know, a loss can look like several different things, but any type of loss, there's a slight shift in our own identity.

Speaker 2: 48:45

That happens when we were so close to that person that sometimes that's really hard to navigate too. And so it's that question of who am I now? What is my path now? What does that look like? Or maybe even just looking at life in a different way of my goodness, like we have so much time on earth, what am I doing with my time here? Am I making it meaningful and purposeful? Is it, you know, am I doing things that really make me feel vibrant and alive, or am I just going through the motion? And so that's something that I support them with, and I have some clients that we work on one together, and that's a lot of fun because we get to go really deep into, you know, their very specific personal pieces. I also have retreats. I have local retreats near Chicago. I have destination retreat that we went to Costa Rica in February. I speaking of Greece, we'll be going to Greece.

Speaker 1: 49:47

Wow.

Speaker 2: 49:48

I love Costa Rica August next year and very neat.

Speaker 2: 49:54

Yes, yes, and so it's really fun to just to step out of, you know, the day to day. And speaking of comfort, comfort levels earlier, to when we allow ourselves to go through a little bit of discomfort by going to a new place, as exciting as it is, there's a level of discomfort, but again, we're teaching our bodies, our brains look like change can be really fun and exciting too, and so it supports the entire journey and growth of the women by stepping into those new opportunities. And so, yeah, so I just I love, I love the work that I do, I love seeing the expansion of the women that I work with. I continue myself to expand and learn and grow, and it's just been such a beautiful journey.

Speaker 1: 50:45

So I guess I I didn't even get to touch on this before. I know we're coming to the end of our time, but I'd love to know, like, how did you get into all of this right? You were a school counselor. I know you wanted to get out of that, focus on your children and the women around you, but, like, how did you step into this kind of world of spirituality and energy and, you know, finding the goddess within? How? What was that for you?

Speaker 2: 51:12

Yeah. So I mean, this has really been such a journey. I, even as a child, I had moments, moments of like I said, I grew up in a religious household, but I always felt very connected spiritually. I would have moments, I remember as a young child, where I had essentially like out-of-body experiences, where I would travel at night and I it was this really yeah, it was a really cool experience. But as I got older, I thought, wait, hmm, that doesn't seem, that doesn't seem quote unquote normal and I kind of boxed it away. Um, I would have a lot of, um, just yeah, a lot of different experiences that you would label now as spiritual, but because it wasn't the norm in you know where I was, I boxed it away, put it away, put it to the side, because I didn't want to be seen as different or even strange or odd.

Speaker 2: 52:12

And then when I was in college, I had this really cool opportunity to take what's called a healing touch class. It's very similar to Reiki but it's used within the healing professionals. A lot of nurses take the course and I learned all about the chakra system. I learned about auras and again very similar to Reiki. So if you're familiar with that, I remember this moment of practicing with another student and as my hands were above her, maybe two inches above her knee, I could feel like there was something out of place, that there was something in her knee and I didn't know this other person, but it just really struck out to me and I asked her, after the session was done, about it and she said actually I have a screw in that knee.

Speaker 2: 53:08

I had surgery and there's a screw in the knee and I thought, wow, Okay, Like that definitely was not a coincidence, Right? And so I thought there is something more to this I need to pay attention. And so that's when I really began to go deep into exploring all these different paths from, you know, energy work and, um, this is a. This is a little bit different, but the tapping and EFT.

Speaker 2: 53:35

And um, I. Then, when I graduated from college, I found out that there was a Zen center just a few blocks from where I grew up and they had a class about happiness and I thought, oh my goodness, like I need this. I just graduated from college, what am I doing next? And I was like, okay, I met that girl Now what? And so I learned all about meditation and other types of spiritual practices and community, and that's when I had my first retreat and that I just fell so much in love with the connection within the community, the learning more about myself, and I started to learn how to facilitate. So I started to co-lead some of the retreats, the meditation retreats, even at a women's retreat, which this was.

Speaker 2: 54:33

This was I won't say how many years, but they were really progressive and unfortunately that community no longer exists. But I knew that I had to bring the essence of that into what I do. I had to bring the retreats back. I had to connect back to that spiritual essence for myself and for others, because it truly transformed my life. And so I just thought, you know, there's all of these different pieces that have helped me grow from that very traumatic childhood to being able to meet so many of my goals in life and to help others, I need to be able to share that with others. It can't just be something just for me, it has to expand beyond.

Speaker 1: 55:26

So so that's essentially where a lot of these pieces came through and how I am yeah where I am now yeah, that's so neat, um, I just finished, a month or two ago, my Reiki level one certification and that was actually one of my first forays into my kind of spiritual world as well, and because I had such a powerful experience with it and I was like what is happening? Like it was, it was so powerful, it had such a physical healing on me, um, and I I think it's funny how we just like kind of stumble into these things. Right, it's just these synchronicities that, like the universe hands us because we're ready for them. Right, we're in a place of wanting that and even if we don't know what it is we want. And I love that you had a zen center right from right where you grew up, like that's right. It like, and you didn't even know, like your soul is not in a place for that yet I think that's so neat, um, and you're in Chicago. Is that what you said?

Speaker 2: 56:35

So I'm just North of Chicago, so I am at the very most Southeast tip of wisconsin, so right between chicago and milwaukee, and, like I said, we have day. I have a retreat coming up in just a few weeks that's going to be right on the shore of lighton.

Speaker 1: 56:52

Michigan is just beautiful yeah like michigan in the summer is beautiful, right?

Speaker 2: 56:58

I've heard it really is things yeah, maybe a little different in the winter.

Speaker 1: 57:04

Okay, well, gosh, I'd love to know, just as we wrap up like what are the things that you would tell listeners Like how do you embrace your own wild self, how do you keep yourself, how are you, how do you stay in sync with your body, how are you present and peaceful and still living this messy life? Right, that we're all a part of. What do?

Speaker 2: 57:32

you do. Yeah, one thing that I love to do is to dance, to throw off my shoes, to get outside with the ground, barefoot and just dance.

Speaker 2: 57:43

And I don't care if there's neighbors that somehow can see me, I don't care, maybe they'll be inspired to dance too, but I just love being outside Um, you know, given that it's not zero degrees and just flowing and just being playful, connecting back with that playful essence and just turning off the thinking brain for a little while to really connect with the heart, with with my heart, with my soul and also with mother earth, and so for me, that is such makes such a big difference. And so I would say that, you know, even if you're not be five minutes of meditation, it could be five minutes of, you know, like painting, just whatever feels like you can turn off that thinking part and connect with your heart and soul just for a few minutes. That really is able to support us throughout the rest of the day, if we can be intentional for just even a few minutes out of the day.

Speaker 1: 59:06

Yeah, I love that. I can tell you're very connected to nature. That's really important to me. I joke with my husband like cause I am really very particular about three places in my house my bedroom, like I need it to be pristine, spotless and beautiful and very it's like my own sanctuary.

Speaker 1: 59:24

And then I need my back deck and I need my front porch to be perfect, beautiful spaces so I can go sit out there and, um, I'm very busy these days but before, like when my baby was like a little toddler and I couldn't do much except just kind of be with him and watch him. You know, like I would go and just sit on the back deck and I would go sit in the front porch and just sit and not do anything, like I'm not a phone scroller and I'd come in and I'd be like gosh, I'm going to be one of those old ladies who just like sits outside all the time.

Speaker 2: 59:51

And he was like you are one of those old ladies who sits outside all the time, like you already are that person Like I know but it might be hours by the time I'm 70.

Speaker 1: 1:00:01

And he's like gosh, you're there, there's something about like the breeze and the fresh air and the sunshine for me is huge, like oh and I love to feel the breeze on my skin Like I keep my blankets by the door so I can have them.

Speaker 1: 1:00:16

I love to take like my morning drink out with me and just all of that. So I love that my morning drink out with me and just all of that. So I love that Like even just a few minutes of intentionality, like putting your phone away and just sitting there, even if it's cold outside. Like you said, like dancing, that's cool. I love that you led with that, because I love to move, but I'm embarrassed to dance and I was. I was having this thought while you were talking, like whatever it is, you're not doing that. You think maybe I should do that, but then you feel resistance. I'm like that's the thing. You should go do that.

Speaker 1: 1:00:47

That's the thing Like and for me I'm like I think I need to dance. I've had all these people tell me recently, like in my spiritual community, like I I'm really getting a download for you, like I really think you should be moving, more dancing, and I feel this resistance, resistance like this is crazy.

Speaker 1: 1:01:04

Just close my eyes and pretend no one's there, right? If they can't see, if I can't see them, they can't see me, and I'll just do it. So I would say maybe to listeners like what is, what is it that the thought comes to you and then you push it away because it's too uncomfortable? We should step into that. There's something probably very powerful there.

Speaker 2: 1:01:21

Yes, yes, because once you unlock that, what's behind right, what's behind that, that's.

Speaker 1: 1:01:30

That's where the magic yeah, right, and I imagine for you, like I'm I'm in the retreat business a little bit with my other business I own with my sister, which has nothing to do with any of the stuff we're talking about on the show right now. But, um, but actually that's not true. It's a mindful eating company, but it's like a cheese experience company. But I know how much work it is to to plan stuff like this, to put yourself out there, to transition from a very stable, salaried nine to five job, especially I've been in. I've been an English teacher too, so I know how the school system works.

Speaker 1: 1:02:01

But and then moving into being an entrepreneur and and like finding that purpose and light in you and feeling the need to share it with others and also have it be, you know, like an energy exchange, right, you need to make a business for your life, the courage that that takes. And I'm looking at you and thinking, wow, you are so confident and and also very authentic and genuine in it and I, if you have a second, I'd love to hear you speak just on that experience. For you, like, was it very difficult for you to build your business? And and even like host retreats, like that's that's even more about like sitting on zoom with someone or having local events. That's a big deal, so if you have it, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that too.

Speaker 2: 1:02:40

If you haven't, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that too. Sure, so it truly is a soul calling. I um, oh goodness, I was on a plane coming back home from visiting my sister in Florida and I was in meditation and I had this download that I needed to have a retreat for women and I actually even had the whole entire business name and branding coming through. I was like, okay, something, something is open, something is flowing, and I just listened and then I started taking notes and it just was all coming together, notes, and it just was all coming together and it was so powerful that I knew here's the thing is that when something comes through intuitively, the only regret we ever have is when we don't listen, and I've learned that the hard way. I've definitely learned that the hard way. So I knew that, because it was coming through in this very clear, intuitive way, that I had to do it. But I did not have a choice and if I didn't, that I would regret it later on and that it was not going to be my best interest if I don't follow through on it. So I brought that forward and, as you said, having a business, being an entrepreneur, it can absolutely feel like a roller coaster because it can go from. Okay, I have this really stable, steady paycheck coming in every week from the school district or from the employee. It's not where I feel like I'm meant to be right now. There's that sense of safety and stability and security, and to essentially turn that down sometimes feels foolish or selfish. I've been there where I thought is this actually selfish of me for doing this, you know? And then I realize that it's the exact opposite. It's the exact opposite because if I don't follow through on the passion that it's essentially that this sounds extreme, but that I'm going to slowly be dying inside and, you know, is that the type of person woman, mother, partner, et cetera that I desire to be? And so what is going to really fulfill me and light me up? That's the direction that I need to follow, and I've had many different times throughout the journey in which I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 2: 1:05:35

Like I questioned it, I said am I totally crazy for thinking that? You know I can continue this? And every single time I question it, there's some sign that tells me you need to keep going, you need to keep you know on this path. And so I would say for anyone who is questioning is this the right thing? Look for those signs, so for those little moments that you know are like little guide posts in which you are affirmed that this is the choice.

Speaker 2: 1:06:13

And when I'm not making those choices, I feel it in my body and so paying attention to, to literally that saying of what is your gut telling you? There's so much to that. So really paying attention to what your gut says, because that is, as they say, our second brain, but it's more of that intuitive brain, it's not the logical one, it's the intuitive one. And the heart right. So what is the heart saying? And that's going to give you so much more information than just the logical. And that's when, as we were talking about earlier, things start to fall in place that help it, um, that help us on our journey.

Speaker 1: 1:06:59

So, yeah, I love that. Um, that's my life's mission, I think once I figured it. Took me a long time to figure out what my life's mission was, but it is. It's learning to trust yourself. It's learning to hone your intuition. It's helping women like stop with the camps and the external chatter and just be very true and tapped into who they are and what they need and want. So I love, I love that. Thank you for sharing. Okay, last thing, where can people connect with you? How can they find you? Sure?

Speaker 2: 1:07:30

So the first thing that I would recommend is I do have a gift for your listeners.

Speaker 2: 1:07:36

Yeah, so this is like an online mini retreat and it's called the goddess activation hour, and so this is an opportunity to take yourself through essentially a mini retreat, and so I go through some different ways to clear energy. I do a meditation, there's an opportunity for a creative practice, but it's all within the span of an hour and it's broken down so you can kind of come back to it if you need, because I know that we all are super busy, so even if an hour is a little bit too much, you can, you know, kind of come back to it as well. But, um, yeah, so if your listeners want to connect to goddessoflightretreatscom, backslash goddessgift, and then they can have access to that mini retreat. I would say that would be the number one way and also to just on social media, you can look at my name, marie Cooney or goddess of light retreats, and get more information about the retreats that I'm doing, or just connect if you have any questions yes, wonderful, and that'll all be in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 1:08:55

So all the links. Thank you so much. This was wonderful, yes thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 1:09:01

This was such a joy to have this conversation with you.