From Pain to Power - Amelie shares her powerful awakening story

My Journey from Pain to Power. Join us in this transformative session as we dive into the depths of healing and vulnerability. 🌟 Come and play! In this second episode, Amelie Ananda and I, your @shaboogiemax share an intimate conversation about forgiveness, spirituality, and our paths to embracing a positive mindset. We're getting real, hoping our stories light each other's candle in the darkness.
www.awakeninglila.com for a donation based meeting with Amelie and
www.shaboogiemax.com for a donation based meeting with Amelie
Amelie's profound story of moving through unimaginable pain to find love and compassion is one of the most powerful I've ever heard. It's a testament to the limitless potential within us all. We discuss the radical process of releasing anger, embracing our humanity, and choosing love, even in the face of the most challenging experiences.

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CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
0:50 - Amal’s Story
5:40 - Forgiveness is Irrelevant
6:15 - Holding Space for Pain
10:00 - Radical Forgiveness
11:10 - Completing the Cycle
0:00 - You Choose Everything
21:50 - Cryptocurrency
24:00 - Radical Responsibility
0:00 - Win 2 Tickets to Unify Fest

Transcript

Welcome to episode 4. And we just do some breath work to drop us into these, so we're a little light headed right now and very present with you. And today, we wanna bring you the divine child codex. And I'm super eager and excited to share this with you. And, um, yeah, let's take it away. Amelie. Yeah. Ananda, awakening lila.com. What is what is the divine child codex? And even more than that, the divine the divine family codex. I'm curious. I know. Oh, it's so exciting. Um, thanks for suggesting this as a topic. It's obviously what fires me up. It's my highest desire. It's the, I mean, it's the thing that gives all of the previous years of chaos so much purpose. I'm like, oh, that's why I went through that. Um, so the divine child codex is a result of my journey, like, in getting to the end of what a lot of people did refer to as divine union, and that's the state of energies within us, the masculine energy and the feminine energy that all of us have regardless of gender. And when you get to a place that you've integrated your masculine and your feminine and by that, I mean, your masculine has wounds, and your feminine has wounds. And they also have Yeah. Divine energy. So just looking at masculine, when we really work on healing our masculine wound, we're also integrating elements of divine masculine so that we can hold that masculine energy in its totality. And you do that with feminine. And then divine union happens when those 2 integrated energies really get to start to dance together, and I have seen such amazing magic in people's life when they reach that level. And it's not linear, and it's not levels, and it's not hierarchy, but for lack of, like, being able to explain it in this three d plane, that's the language I have to use. So as we go through our lives, we go in and out of these states. Okay. It's not like you arrive in divine union energetically, and you're just always there. The goal the goal is to, like, get yourself and your nervous system familiar with what that state feels like, what that energetic state feels like so that you're in it more often than not. So that when you get triggered out of it, maybe you're in your wound or your masculine wound or your feminine wound, you know, oh, I recognize this. Let me integrate back into my wholeness. Is it a remembering? Is it like a it sounds like a feeling in my body perhaps Mhmm. That that I'm remembering a certain way of being? Mhmm. So I'll back up, and we'll get to the good, like, the good good. But I think if you don't understand and haven't really done and have a true inner standing and embodiment of the masculine and feminine, it makes bringing the divine child codex in very difficult because the masculine and feminine really hold the structure for that energy. Okay. So, like, masculine and when we talk about the masculine wound, we're talking about, primarily, if you boil it all the way down, it is, I am not enough. Yes. I'm not enough. And that manifests for the masculine. I have masculine energy, so there's that wound of I'm not enough in me. Yeah. You have asked. Right? So it manifests in different ways for different people. Some people, it manifests in, like, type a personality, perfectionism, go, drive. A lot of, like, narcissism things can come up with that. Wound. So take take a is a wound or even some there could be whole companies, corporations built out of this wound. Right? Or like a whole patriarchy. Oh, wow. Like, systematic. Yeah. It's a I mean So they want you to be wounded, you know, and they are you and we are them. But there's an idea of, like, if if I have you broken and wounded, then you do you you you circulate your energy in a way that serves your energy or something like that. Yeah. And you're only gonna be operating at a certain capacity of your energy. Right? Oh. So you're like it's it's you can't get past this frequency. It's like something is latched on to your root chakra because your survival chakra and you're and you're circulating your energy in a way that you don't even know, but you think that you're doing, like, what you're supposed to do and all the rest of it, like, living a perfect life. And, really, you've just given all your energy to this entity that has an agreement through this corporation or whatever it is. And now we're learning to take all our power back, call it back to ourselves, and then see what happens. Right. And so one of the one of the things that people do when they're working with their wounded feminine or masculine is that they swing all the way to divine. And they're like, oh, well, I am only my divine masculine. And divine masculine is known for, like, the stillness, the Shiva, like holding space. Yeah. Yes. He the divine masculine also does things. He provides structure. He provides safety, uh, provision. It's a very penetrating energy. There's a, uh, obviously, penetrating energy for masculine. Yeah. Where but the but the difference is it's not a, like, you're gonna do it my way. It's a and it's not you're gonna do it my way to benefit me. Now it's a is a really, there's a a level of acceptance of just whatever is and observation and a a genuine desire for, we're gonna figure out the way to do this that's best for all. Okay. And a trust that that's actually what's unfolding that allows the divine masculine to hold the stillness. I see. Whereas wounded masculine in a situation is not going to necessarily be still. Yes. It's gonna be a lot of doing and action and trying to prove that I'm enough. I get that. Yeah. Wounded feminine, her core wound, that energy in us is I'm too much. I'm too much. So too much. Oh my gosh. So a lot of women find themselves silencing themselves. Yeah. Um, not, like, making themselves small. They grow resentful of of other women, of other men that are in the spotlight that have that are doing the things, like, um, a lot of massive aggressiveness, manipulation, both wounded, masculine and feminine can be very, very manipulative, gossiping. There are wounded feminine energetics. Now I'm not saying there's anything innately wrong with those things. They happen in all of us. The goal is to recognize when it's happening and then bring that back into whole. That is a part of my humanity. That is part of what I came here to experience. That is me being separate from source. I'm not judging that those things are gonna I include it in the whole. I include it. I bring it all in, not expose people. I include it all. No. Because what we resist persists. So even if you wanna push it away, and that's what people do a lot in the beginning of their healing, their wounded stuff. They go. They look at it. They're like, okay. I know it. And now I'm gonna just sit over here in the divine camp and be my divine masculine and divine feminine. But that doesn't really work. It's not sustainable on this plane, and it's not exactly what we're here for. In this three d plane, we're here for the experience of the contrast. As we ascend into the 5 d, we're really here to unify that polarity within our physical being. Yeah. To be able to hold our divinity and our humanity. So, like, divine I already expressed divine masculine and what he kinda shows up and looks like, and divine feminine energy, she's the oracle. She's the muse. Like, she connects to God. She is the conduit to God. Divine masculine is what grounds us and connects to earth. Like and they work together. Like, when we talk about their differences, we can also see how they work together. This is why you hear opposites attract. It's because polarity. That's where we're at. So how do we hold both of those energies at once? And that's divine union. Okay. So How do you do that? Divine unions? So a lot of people will go like, oh, well, I, you know, I really am in my masculine when I'm at work. And then I come home and I need to be in my feminine for beautiful, and you're not gonna be totally balanced and synergistic at all times, but there's needs to be some awareness that both are always present. In fact, for you to be fully in your feminine and surrendered and open and willing to receive and all of those things, you have to have your own inner masculine on board holding the safe space for that part of you to do that. Got it. Now it also helps to have a partner that's doing that. Okay. Well, healing so healing those masculine wounds Yeah. Right, and bringing that, like, awareness to that, those wounds and how they come up, and then bringing your awareness to, okay. What does divine masculine do, and where does I feel that in my body? Moving the the emotions and the energy. Sometimes just the awareness of the wound and looking at it Yes. And the acceptance of it. Just being aware of it, seeing it, accepting it, not judging it Yeah. And saying, okay. I I love that part of me. I understand why that part of me is there, and I'm gonna make the conscious choice to do this. Choice. Choice. So so I would one way I've I like this way of saying it. 90% of the work is in awareness. Oh, yeah. Percent is choice. 10% is choice. So so if we're if instead of burying our heads in the sand and pretending certain things don't happen in the world, instead, we shine our lights and actually receive what it wants to show us. Now we can make a small choice change in our lives or maybe it's a large choice chain, but we and if everybody on the planet did that little pivot together, and it doesn't take everybody, but if you do it, then we pivot to a world where that is healed. Right. And so, like, so the awareness can even look like like, let's say you're getting into a new business with somebody and you're realizing, like, you don't trust them. That's a wound. So you see the the lack of trust and you see your masculine, like, overcompensating in these overbearing, controlling ways. You're like, alright. Yes. I see it. And you can go into the, like, nitty gritty of where that wound came from if you want to. After enough practices, you really don't have to. You can be like, oh, yeah. That's the wound. Okay. I hold that part. I understand why it's here. How do I wanna show up differently? And you can even have conversations with that part of yourself and say, alright. I'm gonna give you a new role. Instead of being anxious that we don't trust anyone, who do we trust? Ourselves. Perfect. So now you don't have to worry about us trusting them. Neil's here. Divine Neil. Divine masculine Neil is here, and you can trust him. And so then that part comes back into like, oh, yeah. But it can come back and, like, calm down a little bit, and then you can act in balance. The other thing is that when you're in divine union, you can lean like, you can notice a wound in your masculine or feminine, whatever, and you can say, okay. Here it is. I don't know what to do. And you just simply can call in your feminine. Like, focus on your divine feminine energy, that oracular wisdom, that connection to source and say, I feel this wound. I'm in the moment now. I need to take action now. I don't have time to do a whole ceremony and journaling. What is the next step? Because I wanna act from consciousness. And that is the that's the dance. So it's like, it doesn't have to be this back and forth of, I'm in my masculine. I'm in my feminine. They dance they dance together and they do it so beautifully. And so when I'm parenting, like, mothering is a very masculine role, actually, like, if you look at the, like, function of what a mother does that, but okay. Yep. Yeah. Me neither until I was really, like Yeah. Dissecting all of the ways that this plays out. But mothering is very, very masculine. Like, we create safe space. We hold space. We, um, set boundaries. We, like, and there is. We do bring our feminine, and we nurture, and we connect to the energy, and we allow for flow, and we creativity. But there's a lot of masculine, so there it is. In mothering, we're really doing both, and that's not because I'm a single mom. Like, that would be the case no matter what. So that's just my meaning. You've really analyzed it a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Because I realized for me as I went through all my trauma Yeah. That that, uh, like, I would start real I'm gonna I wanna partner, so I'd really work on, like, my divine feminine. Yeah. And she would get to a certain point. Like, I would heal all these feminine wounds and, like, bring in my fem and it would get to a certain level, and it and I'd feel stuck. And I'd be like, what the hell is that? Yeah. And through one thing or another, I was like, And then I turn and focus on my masculine, and the more I would strengthen my masculine energy and integrate that wound and bring in my divinity, the more liberated my inner feminine felt. And then, like so the more safety I created within myself, that's masculine. Yeah. The more freedom of expression I had as feminine. Cool. Right? So this is just an energetic game that we're playing with ourselves. So if you're stuck in one area and it's then look to heal the other area, and you're gonna liberate because it's kinda like a pulley system. Okay. Does that make sense? So let me pull you I got a few ways I wanna pull you now. You ready? The the first way is to the the masculine. Right? So I'm guessing, and I don't have really a background of what you're speaking about, but I'm guessing actually if if if the man or the the the inner masculine sits with the shame and the, um, guilt and, like, those types of emotions that they carry, if they were willing to sit with it rather than go out and act to avoid dealing with it. Right. So they come in and they just sit with it. Through sitting with it, it'll shift. And what will occur then is the what I've noticed is more sharing happens, more more expression, more self expression. Which is feminine. Which is feminine. Right. So just the act of sitting Yeah. And accepting what it is, like, and not judging. That's how That's the male stillness. Yes. I can hold space for whatever is. Exactly. And when you do that for yourself then your feminine can come in as well. That feminine energetic is gonna come in and start and she's flow. Like, she like, that's water. It's gonna cleanse. I get it completely. Even though you feel like, oh, I'm not I don't do this. I don't know. I'm not an expert at this. We are all always doing this. Yeah. Right. And this is just a construct, really. This is just a construct to give people to give their mind to help them understand and understand what's happening Okay. So that in on this plane, we can move a little faster with it Alright. Instead of it just being so esoteric, I'm like, out there. Yeah. Prac like, practical, I suppose, is a word Mhmm. People might like. Right. So then so so the practical advice then for men is to sit with yourself and, honestly, restrain yourself until the awareness rises within you. Like, when you do mushrooms or something. But this is we're not talking about mushrooms. We're talking about just sitting. Okay? You can do it in a salt bath. You can do it out in nature. Just sit still and let the awareness come up. And from the new awareness, more energy will flow, and then tell me what the feminine part is. So more energy is gonna flow, absolutely, just because you've created that stillness. But when that then there's also this, like, this just the connection to source. So all of the things that you're feeling inside of yourself that don't feel good, they don't feel good because they're not true. Yes. So when you sit with those things and you just accept them, you say, I I'm not accepting this as truth, but I'm accepting that it is what is right now. I'm feeling this now. I have this wound. Now the truth comes in. Now that there's the stillness in the feeling that I'm not worthy. Right? Right. I'm not worthy. I'm not enough. I'm not enough. Not enough. I gotta make more money. Feel that I need to make more money, build a bigger business, have more followers on social media, do something to make it more work. Enough money for all my kids. There's not enough time. Oh, my gosh. Right. Get still. So now I'm stillness and I'm I'm letting that feeling boil up inside of me. And through that boiling, it really does dissipate. It could sort of just It does dissipate. And sometimes though, I've noticed that, like, divine feminine will come in, and her guidance in that moment, that energy will wanna move. And it might wanna move through screaming. It might wanna move through, like, breaking a stick on a rock. K? So be safe, obviously. We need, like, safe ways to express our our emotions. Punch a pillow. Sometimes that emotion needs to be expressed, and then even more of it dissipates and dissolves. Yeah. And as, like, we clear those things out, then all of a sudden, like, uh, we've got a channel. We're clearing a channel, and we can get directed action. When we take when we're in, oh my gosh. I'm not enough. My family is not gonna have money this this month. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Okay? So when you root into that wound, I'm not enough. I haven't provided for my family, and you take an action from that energy, I guarantee you, you you might bring a a $100 in or whatever. You might make ends meet, but you're also digging yourself down. Whereas if you sit with it, allow the the untruth to kinda dissolve, create some safety and space within yourself, you're gonna have way more mental resources. I mean, this is, like, also science. This isn't just woo woo shit. We can actually put scan like, sensors on your brain and see what happens when you get into a state of stillness and a state of detachment, and your brain, your prefrontal cortex comes online. This is all of your, like, thinking and analyzing and decision making abilities, but, also, that stillness is allowing for your connection to source and your feminine energy to give you downloads of what feels right next. I love that. I love the way you said that. And the other part that I wanna add to that is that it's like your frequency is rising because we are on earth, and we do have lower and higher and in and out and all that. So your frequency is rising. And one of the quantum bylaws is that everything is here and now. So that means that all the money that you ever asked for, and this kinda feeding into our next episode a little bit, it's already in your now. It just can't occur to you, occur oculus, your eyes. You can't see it. You can't realize it yet because you're not matching the frequency of it when you're all twisted up in the details of what's not working right now. Exactly. Exactly. And so this is this dance is divine union when you have the ability to see all of these pieces dancing together and to lean into those things as you just go through your normal life. And so for me, I got to this place, and I was like, well, okay. What else? Because it felt to me like, this is a beautiful place. And in contrast to where I've been in my life, it feels very fulfilling and very whole. Like, there's a sense of, like, wholeness because I'm actually acting from all my parts, divine, human, masculine, feminine. We're all here. We're doing the thing. But for me, I was like, there is still something missing. And so I I started asking the question just internally in my meditations, like, what's beyond divine union? And that's not a question I hear, like, in the circles that really talk about divine union, masculine, feminine, all of those coach. They don't that it was like a groundbreaking question for a lot of those groups. They're like, what? That that that's that's the like, that's where we're headed. Got it. I'm like, no. I don't think it is. And then I started seeing, like, the geometry, like, sacred geometry. This is a little Yeah. Much for some people, but, like, I actually get the visuals of in a lighted energetic state of, like, what the geometry of masculine looks like and feminine looks like and what they create with their geometry. And I was like, no. And then I started seeing something else in the geometry, and I was like, that. What is that? And what it was, like, physically, as best I can describe it, is like a dodecahedron inside of a merkava. And I was like, there is something going on inside of this divine union that is a third element. And through my journey with my child and all of these other things, like, I kept, you know, learning so much from my child. And then one day, I was just like, oh my gosh. We spend all this energy focusing on our child wounds. When we talk about our inner child and that inner child energetic, everybody's talking about the shadow work we have to do to heal our child. You're right. Absolutely. Absolutely. But just like with masculine and feminine, if all we did was focus on the wound and healing the wound, we would never integrate to whole, and we would never be able to then take those 2 whole parts into divine union. And so to then only focus on our child wound takes half of who we are in the in that energy sense, half of our child energy, and discards it, and that half is the divine child. And so then as I started, like, opening up to that, oh my gosh. The divine child is curiosity. The divine child is play and wonder and awe. They are present in this now moment and nowhere else. Yeah. They have, like and all of these things, like, when we talk about manifesting and we talk about creating, we talk about the power of our imagination. They're in a child spraying under the age of 7. They literally do not understand the difference between real and make believe. Neither do I. That's that's that's that's part of the child energetic, the divine child energetic that we have to bring back on board. Yes. And I think part of the reason why I mean, I think that I could go on about this for an hour. There is an attack on the child for this very reason. Because that child energy, that divine child energy of imagination, play, wonder, awe, gratitude, that's what creates. That's the most powerful creative portal for us to create the realities that we want. And so the powers that be So so playing. So being in our innocence, calling all our energy back to us now. Because when we're thinking about the past, we're scattering our light to the past, so we call that energy back. When we're worried about the future, you're creating about the future. We're scattering our light to the future, so call that energy back. So being here now right? That's a big element of the divine child codex is full presence in the now. Got it. That's all they have. Yeah. But also imagination. Okay. Choosing curiosity over judgment, wonder and awe over boredom, like the like, just getting wildly curious about what is this? What can I do? How what can I build with this? Yeah. Um, why am I here? What's going on? Like, just those those beautiful attributes. Now Yeah. When I just take let's just, like, move masculine and feminine aside. I'm working on my inner child wound. Guess what? What? The most profound healing that I've had for my inner child wound is when I called, just like I would do with masculine or feminine, and I called to my divine child. I said, okay. Here, I am acknowledging this child wound I have. Yeah. I'm working it. I'm aware of it. I'm centering it. Ow. Divine child. Like, there are some child wounds we all have that are so deep that it's hard to get there and get that that energy loose and moving. We don't even like, it's just sometimes could be really elusive. So I started. Uh, I said, okay. Divine child. I'm here we go. Divine child in my meditation. Here's the wound. What would you say? What would the conversation be between my wounded child and my divine child? Oh, cool. And I started to introduce them and have play dates, inner energetic play dates with my inner children. And I saw my inner child wounded being heal and integrate back into the hole at light speed at light speed. And then when that happened, the channel opened up and this whole entire codex dropped. And I'm like, oh my gosh. Cool. Cool. And I, like, since that day, have been living in the new world. I am in the new world because it's all here now. It's all wonderful, all a playground, and it doesn't and I and I, yeah, I have a foot in the 3 d, and I'm still bound by time and space, but that's because that's what I'm choosing because I want other people to hear about this. Like Yeah. This divine child is the energetic that we bring into our masculine and feminine divine union, and that is the divine family. And when we can start making decisions and actions rooted in that energy where it's a triangle, the strongest shape that we know. Right? Yep. Yep. It's not linear. Right? Yeah. Now we have our full capacity, not only our groundedness with masculine and our connection to source with feminine, but that connection to source with feminine now brings down into our womb space the divine child, and we can create anything we want. So no wonder that has been in the shadow because we need to go through this dark age together of forgetting what the hell. So it's beautiful. We're going a little over time, but I I think it's super closely related. No. I think it's worthy. It's that, um, so if I can get you to not be in the now by thinking about some bill that's in the future or money situation or having enough retirement or just just, um, scared about anything that's not in you now that I teleport to you through a television or whatever the story is. And and and I and I get you out of your consciousness, which your consciousness is when you're feeling happy, when you're being thankful. That's when you have access to all of your consciousness. So if I can get you out of that, then you can't create this geometry that we're talking about, then you're easy to manipulate. Manipulate. Yeah. And and they I would only wanna do that if I believed that if I didn't really know who I was because I would only manipulate myself was still in my wound. Yes. Exactly. Right. So I would only wanna manipulate you if I didn't really know who I was in truth because when I know who I am in truth, I don't wanna manipulate you. In fact, I wanna serve you. What can I give to you today? Which is what we're doing with our whole donation based practice business, this podcast, what we're up to Yeah. In the world. Yeah. So I would just say yeah. I know we're we've gone over, and I'll just end with this, that when you act from this divine family space and when you can identify where your wounds are, masculine, feminine child, then you know what energy to bring in, your what divine energy to bring in, and it there becomes the most beautiful dance. And so there's not a problem or a challenge that somebody has brought me so far that I can't help guide them through this with their and bring them back to the remembrance of their divine child. And as soon as they embody that, either the the problem disappears because their perspective totally shifts Yeah. Or the solution is super clear, and it's usually pretty simple. So that's what awakening Leila is about. It's about awakening it's Leila's divine play, and it's the divine play of creation. So that's what I wanna awaken in humanity is that we can all play together in our divinity and create the new world. And there's no way to get that wrong or right. It's just play. So play. There's a lot of failure that happens in play. Right? Mhmm. And that's okay because we don't we don't label it as failure, so we just Right. We just keep going. Yeah. I mean, it can only be play if there's no attachment to the outcome. Got it. Like, otherwise, it's a game that's different. Like Got it. Play is engaging in something for the joy of doing it. Yes. That's it. And that's what we're doing here. We're engaging with this for the joy of doing it because it's who we choose to be. It is so joyful. It's so joyful to be here with you. Like, and Yeah. Yeah. And to talk to people about get messages about the clips that they've seen and whatnot, it's like, woah. Yeah. That's cool. So thank you for being with me. Enjoy and play. My highest excitement. And if people wanna book a session with you or get more information, they can go to awakening lila.com. Mhmm. Right? Lila.com. And I'm always poking around on the Patreon group of yours as well Yeah. And meeting up with people in there too. It's so fun, such a beautiful community. And how do people find that? Well, shab0ogiemax.com, shab0ogiemax.com. And we're doing everything from our heart, which means we have zero expectation. And one of the things that we're gonna talk about in the next episode is the quantum financial system from the perspective of the divine child, actually. Yeah. We'll we'll weave that in too. See and this is what I mean, Neil. Like, this is part of why you were so resonant is even though you maybe didn't have the rhetoric that I'm using, you are playing in these frequencies. Yeah. I the the the child is alive in you. We all are, but it is very present in you and Yeah. That is one of the things that was like, yeah. I'll I'll play with you. And and the reason that it's so alive in me if I had to attribute it to anything is I created something scary in my life because I I was somebody who always had a lot of confidence and always knew the way through. So I I I created something big and scary to actually finally scare me and knock me off my tower. And then so that I could then stand up on my own and know and sort of know how to get up on my own and stay here again, to know how I got here this time. And so because I stopped agree agreeing to fear, false evidence appearing real. Fear, f e a r, false evidence appearing real. And so that allowed me the grounded knowledge in my knowing, in my bones that I can now transfer to people, which I do through my donation based meetings. And more than that, through the meditations that are in the community, through the channeled messages I'm I'm delivering, um, We're just we wanna share this because we have it in our bones now, and it really feels like a worth a life worth living to be sharing this, to be Yeah. To be going on tour and and doing presentations and group and with groups and to really give this frequency to you knowing that we have zero control whether you can receive it or not. So Yeah. But we pray you do. We pray you do. Perfect time. We pray you do. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Neil. Thank you all. Thank you guys for tuning in. We'll catch you soon. Lots of love. Just that simple. It's just that simple. Yeah. It's just as simple. K.