WisdomE Podcast
Dreaming Big and Navigating Life's Waves w/ Pro Surfer Ana Mae Alipayo #2
Join us as we welcome Ana Mae Alipayo, a top-ranked surfer and entrepreneur from the Philippines, who shares her profound insights on the transformative power of understanding. Discover how dropping your ego, embracing new perspectives, and fostering self-awareness can bridge gaps in relationships and open doors to new opportunities. Ana Mae's journey reveals the beauty of finding one's purpose and achieving a holistic sense of success, one that encompasses both freedom and peace of mind.
Imagine attracting dreams and finally having the time to pursue your passions—whether that's gardening, spending quality time with loved ones, or even surfing competitively. Our discussion delves into the dreams and aspirations of those who seek a peaceful life, highlighting the importance of protecting one's dreams and the resilience required to overcome frustrations. Listen as we uncover the dedication and passion that drive competitive surfers like Ana Mae, and learn how pursuing genuine joy and fulfillment can infuse your life with infectious energy.
In our final chapters, we tackle the complex world of relationships and effective communication. From the significance of maturity in dating to handling conflicts constructively, we cover the essentials for maintaining long-term mental health and personal growth. Learn how personal and childhood traumas can impact relationships and why mutual respect and non-violent communication are crucial. We also turn our attention to the rapid changes in Siargao, advocating for sustainable and community-focused enterprises to preserve the island's integrity. Wrapping up, we introduce a surf school initiative aimed at fostering community health and awareness, making this episode an enriching experience you won't want to miss.
Join us as we welcome Ana Mae Alipayo, a top-ranked surfer and entrepreneur from the Philippines, who shares her profound insights on the transformative power of understanding. Discover how dropping your ego, embracing new perspectives, and fostering self-awareness can bridge gaps in relationships and open doors to new opportunities. Ana Mae's journey reveals the beauty of finding one's purpose and achieving a holistic sense of success, one that encompasses both freedom and peace of mind.
Imagine attracting dreams and finally having the time to pursue your passions—whether that's gardening, spending quality time with loved ones, or even surfing competitively. Our discussion delves into the dreams and aspirations of those who seek a peaceful life, highlighting the importance of protecting one's dreams and the resilience required to overcome frustrations. Listen as we uncover the dedication and passion that drive competitive surfers like Ana Mae, and learn how pursuing genuine joy and fulfillment can infuse your life with infectious energy.
In our final chapters, we tackle the complex world of relationships and effective communication. From the significance of maturity in dating to handling conflicts constructively, we cover the essentials for maintaining long-term mental health and personal growth. Learn how personal and childhood traumas can impact relationships and why mutual respect and non-violent communication are crucial. We also turn our attention to the rapid changes in Siargao, advocating for sustainable and community-focused enterprises to preserve the island's integrity. Wrapping up, we introduce a surf school initiative aimed at fostering community health and awareness, making this episode an enriching experience you won't want to miss.
welcome to the wisdom podcast. I'm your host, storm, and today joining me is none other than anime alipayo. She's a surfer queen number three rank in the philippines. She's an entrepreneur and also a shargao local. Welcome anime thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. It's an honor to have this space and being able to talk through your wisdom. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:So I'd love to start the podcast with one question, and that question is what is the greatest piece of wisdom that you'd ever received?
Speaker 2:in one word I would say understanding, like I guess it's a very simple word, but if you don't understand the other person, then I feel like that disconnect you from different opportunities, or you know what I mean. So level of understanding, I guess, like it's very simple, yet it's so complicated, so that's the biggest wisdom for any human could have the understanding because they could fix everything, like a complicated relationship, business partners. But if you have the power of understanding, I guess that would create doors to different opportunities and ways on fixing things, even if it's broken.
Speaker 1:So how do you recommend going about cultivating understanding?
Speaker 2:It's really important. You know it's really important to think about this because it's a simple word, yet when you do it it's hard. There's a lot of things to drop your ego, your old wisdom. You need to be open. So you know it's simple, yet very, very complex, don't you think? Yeah, what do you think of understanding?
Speaker 1:understanding. It's definitely multiple layers. I think it does begin with like dropping your old wisdom or just being able to be open to new wisdom, and I think how it started with me was just like when I was going through the hardest time of my life. I was one month homeless in San Francisco and I was sleeping in cardboard boxes and my life turned around when I had a near-death experience and through then I kind of like admitted to myself that I didn't know how to live life at that point and I think my understanding deepened when I admitted that I don't understand.
Speaker 2:The acceptance.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And the wisdom came into you, and then things became more, a little bit clearer, and then you accept things you know. So that, that's, that's good, do you agree, or?
Speaker 1:disagree. Yeah, I agree, I agree that understanding is very important and, you know, this is like the whole reason why I'm starting the wisdom podcast is really to help further understanding, understanding ourselves and understanding our relationship with each other and understanding our relationship with the planet and the universe. So being able to understand why you're here, why we're here and why we're connected is important and it gives us direction in life, it gives us purpose, it gives us energy to really live our lives to the full that's it, guys.
Speaker 2:Like I'm literally saying, like I feel honored to be here. It's because every time I talk and open something with you, storm, is that you always take. You know what I needed to hear. So, basically, what you were saying is that the understanding of self-awareness, or your existence and your purpose, it is an essential rule, or like first thing, to have to understand yourself, to be able to collaborate with people, to be able to understand other people. How would you understand other people if you don't understand yourself or within?
Speaker 1:so that's very important yeah, that's true, and there's also a beautiful thing about not knowing your purpose as well, and I at least, knowing that you don't know is that you get to explore, you get to wonder and see, like, what's your highest excitement. And I mean, if you're not looking for it though, you might just be a fish out of water, a flopping fish, and you know that's OK too, like there's some people in life that this is what they want to do with their lives, just to go through it. But I think the beauty in life is to be able to go deeper into yourself and self-realize, self-actualize, and that comes from sitting down with yourself or sitting down with people who have inspiring lives, and learning from them and and speaking better about yourself and dreaming big yes, and more importantly, like probably this is I could see about this podcast is that it's wisdom and the power of understanding is like, like I said at the beginning, that it creates different, like it opens doors.
Speaker 2:So for some people like me, we all have our own struggles in life. It's because we couldn't understand completely, like we're humans and we cannot always understand all the time. We couldn't understand completely, like we're humans and we cannot always understand all the life, but I guess, like respecting and being able to put the understanding, it gives us the peace that we need at the moment, so it doesn't create a lot of like stresses and more toxicity and more unnecessary like stress. So that's why I think, for me, the biggest wisdom is understanding, because life would not always go in your own way. You don't always get what you want. You can work for what you want and you get what you want, but not 100%, like that's the reality of life.
Speaker 2:Beauty of life, like you said, the uncertainty. So the power of understanding is understanding in each situations and like evolving as a person and, at the same time, like being a better version of yourself at the same, like not even having to deal with complexity with yourself. So understanding is more of like achieving that peace and stability with yourself. Having that to yourself as the power of understanding and being able to to grasp, that is for me that's success, don't you?
Speaker 1:think yes, I agree. Like you know what this is really inspirational, like I'd love to hear more about what you mean by success.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So look at you right now. You're so happy, you're in nature, you just schedule, schedule, you work when you want, you have the discipline to work, but, at the same time, like success is being able to take your time, like not people not telling you what to do. I see you, you're like people tell you what to do. I think that's success, where you take your time and you can do whatever you want, in a good way for sure, and you have a lot of freedom and you are so lucky to have this environment right now. Like look around and it's peaceful. Success is having a person beside you who has this wisdom and a big inspiration, you know, who keeps up with life. You know that's the success. Having good people around you, who are people who brings like peace and service to other people. You're sharing your wisdom. That's success, wow.
Speaker 2:Service to others that's success, wow a service to others, helping them guide through, because I'm pretty sure, like we all go through this thing called life crisis and I'm pretty sure some of them are still there. I go through it yeah and I'm super grateful for the podcast. Some people that inspired me is Jay Shetty oh, yeah, I listen to his podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love Jay Shetty too. It brings me light. So, yeah, I listen to his podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love Jay Shetty too. It brings me light. So this is bringing me peace and that's already like I'm on my way and, you know, creating that stability as well. Like it's not, like you're going to have stability and it requires a lot of practice and a lot of work. You know you don't are you happy every day Like 100%.
Speaker 1:Am I happy? You don't you're. Are you happy? Every day, like 100? Am I happy? You know what. It really depends on your definition of happiness, because I believe that happiness is progress. So for me, I might not always be happy, to some people's minds, like I go through challenges, some days I'm stressed, I'm like, oh my gosh, like where am I gonna, where am I gonna get this money from to, like, pay a bill or something, or yeah and I have those days.
Speaker 1:And I have days where sometimes I feel lonely because like and but this is.
Speaker 2:But do you think being lonely is sad?
Speaker 1:not necessarily, it's just what I go through, it's like a human thing. I I then like realize how, like, oh wait, I'm actually blessed like I go through. It's like a human thing. I I then like realize how, like, oh wait, I'm actually blessed, like I give myself time to, like you know, count my blessings and keep on working and improving upon myself, like I know the.
Speaker 1:I know the right person will come at the right time, and the only thing I can do now is just keep on working on myself, keep on working on my communication, keep on working on tapping into my abundance and more time to really love my own life without anyone else. I'm just being real with you, like on some days and it's not all the time it might just be like five minutes or be just like sulking or something. It might just be like five minutes of me, just like sulking or something, but I do catch myself and I tell myself I'm so grateful for where I am now in life. I'm grateful that I have friends that I love and we connect, and I'm grateful for my purpose and knowing what I'm here to do on the planet is powerful for me and that keeps me, it keeps me busy and it keeps me motivated too. And yeah, that doesn't mean I don't have quote-unquote bad days days I mean, it's still even the bad days.
Speaker 1:I'm like I enjoy them, because it's like okay, how can I learn from these days? How can I improve myself? What's the lesson here? Like, did I spend too much money so fast?
Speaker 1:did I communicate in a way that wasn't kind, or yeah so, even these bad days, they have the seeds for good days and they're turning my good days into better days because I'm learning from them and I'm improving my system and improving my outlook. And, at the end of the day, nothing's going to happen if I focus on the things I can't change. So even if things that are out of the plan and they kind of feel crappy come, I just remind myself I ice bath and then I remind myself, like, focus on the things you can change. You can't do anything if you focus on things you can't change. That's very important. So I'm curious, because you're such a multidimensional, epic human being on multiple fronts.
Speaker 2:I'm so. I'm flattered To how highly you think of me, but keep going, keep going.
Speaker 1:Because you got. I mean, mean, you're a surf legend, you have an amazing, beautiful voice and you're also an entrepreneur, so you got your hustle going on and I I've talked to you before I've. I've talked to you about dreaming big and you know, like you, you've told me about how you've always dreamt big, and can you tell me how that served you in your life?
Speaker 2:during biggest of. Of course. It sounds amazing and it's like, wow, your dreams are so big and huge and that's that's crazy. I think the challenge there is that when you tell people about your dreams, you can't help but tell people how excited you are with your dreams. You have to share it to your friends, you share it with your family. And then I remember that one time where I was definitely I started.
Speaker 2:If I could remember the first time I dreamt of something. It's always been big, like a dream of first time. It's like a dream of like studying, uh, bachelor of science, in psychology. And then my mom just just kind of like, whoa, you wanted to go to a private school and stuff like that. And then she kind of like, oh, your dreams are big, you know, you wanted to study on private, on catholic school and on the city and all this like you know expenses, like it's huge. So for her it was just like, wow, she made me kind of like think, made me realize at a very young age to that your dreams are big and you wanted to study a psychology and you wanted to study law for a filipino. That's big, that's a big commitment for me. I, that was my dream. But then she made me realize like that's a lot of time, that's a lot of money, that's a lot of effort and stuff. And then I started. That's what I can remember, the very first thing.
Speaker 2:And then I keep sharing my dreams and observing it from the very first dream and then become the second, and then more and more, and then they're all big. Every time I share it people are so freaking confused. They're like they kind of make you feel like it. It's my friends, it's my partner, my relationship. They could. They make me feel like that's crazy. It's always. I feel like my dreams were always criticized 90%, 95% and that does not I'm saying it a challenge, because it hurts to actually share my dreams and people wouldn't approve because it's just, either it's too low, because for me, a dream for me is having my own farm, as big as it can be, and being able to grow my own vegetables and my own food. Imagine waking up and just like picking up those fresh vegetables right into my you know backyard. I think that was my dream. For other people it's like, oh, they have a simple dream. Do you think it's simple to own a big yard of farm? Do you think it's a simple dream?
Speaker 1:for me in siargao yeah, um it's expensive. Yeah, well, I guess it. Well for me that's simple it is simple for me. It is, I mean, because just now my mindset has like I've trained my mindset to really think big now. So it's like like if you ask me this two years I'd be like oh my gosh. That's like yeah. But now I've been training myself as like how big can we go?
Speaker 2:that's big for me like to have that because the thing is, which means I'm. It sounds very simple for other people to actually like oh, you have a farm and stuff. That's very simple. The thing is I'm retired. In that time I'm not working. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:So that's a big dream where I don't need to work anymore but rather grow my own vegetables and being able to, just like, live a peaceful life with my family and invite my friends and and share this blessing. You know, having a peaceful day where I'm not rushing and having someone to tell me what to do. I'm not saying it's a bad thing that people tell me what to do yeah it's just that I'm, I'm. I had enough of like working for other people who doesn't appreciate what I do for them yeah.
Speaker 2:So way back to dreaming big. My other dreams are really big that people would make me feel if I share it to them. My my remember very carefully that the reaction is always like do you ever feel like when you tell them your dreams, they're like whoa, you're very ambitious I've had that before.
Speaker 1:At the same time, like I've kind of learned to like protect my dreams too, like I don't tell everyone like actually I, I keep it limited to people that are like, don't have ego I know that they don't have ego problems and they want to see me win if they have an ego problem or if they, like, are kind of like, still in the frequency of like competition, I'm like I'd rather just be silent and like, just work on my craft on the down low. But of course, if it's someone on my team who's like, wants to see me win and I want to see them win and we're on the same wavelength like, I'll tell them my dreams, they'll tell me, they'll tell me theirs. And I've been doing something called the brainstorm that's a that's, that's a deep understanding.
Speaker 2:so you're very wise to say this, like being able to share it and protect your dreams. So either you get shattered or you'll be more on how you like see yourself. To tell them and then being able to like, even do it, even if it hurts you by people. Whoa, whoa. You can't achieve that, you can't do that. That's too big, it's more than you're capable of. So I guess that's my big dream and, to be honest with you, the most dangerous part of me is that if I want something, You'll get it.
Speaker 2:One day I was surfing national competitions and it was just national competitions. And then one day they put surfing as sports in the Olympics. So I was doing nationals and there was no ranking yet. And then there was my coach, a sports coach in the philippine sports comedy. He went to one of the events in I think that was lanuza, when they announced for the philippine tour that the olympic is now considered, I mean the surfing, surfing is now considered an olympic. So we are going to appoint for top four in the ph.
Speaker 2:I remember completely like I was sitting down To be able to travel the whole Philippines is man, that's a lot of money, like every week, or to do competitions. You know I was sitting down and I was just like listening to what he's saying. I was like to be the best in the country. You know what I mean. To be the best in the country, like the Philippines, to bring the Philippines as a representative, the ambassador of the sport. That's big, that's a lot of work. To be number three or number one at least in this island in Siargao. It's a big, big commitment. But then I said what Might as well try?
Speaker 2:And then it happens and I was like, okay now I don't really see my best as the best, but like I am now in there, you know that's the power of dreaming big.
Speaker 1:Like you get it you know, um, I'd love to dig deep more with your surfing. I'm curious because like, yeah, like, what does it take to get up there, get in the upper echelons of you know Philippine surf? Like, have you heard of the 10,000 hours? Yes, yes. So what are your main pillars that keep you?
Speaker 2:I think what stops me all the time is the frustrations. I think it does not imply to just surfing, but in real life, like in general, to just surfing but in real life, like in general. So for me, basically my life is surfing, and surfing put me more exposures and connect to people, which is really my purpose to learn from each other and stuff. Surfing is really frustrating. I don't know if you tried. I'm sure you're trying. It's so frustrating, man. It's like I'm not born with the skills and you have to really learn the ocean knowledge and navigate the nature, and it's very hard. Nature is very unpredictable. So the frustration was there every day. Like I can do it and it took me so long, man, like I gave up every.
Speaker 2:I give up a lot, but I I think the beauty was me trying to give up but at the same time I'm still there. I don't know how it happened, but I'm still there. That gave me the beauty of resilience. Surfing taught me resilience that I'm here 26 years. People can just talk shit about me. My resilience is still there, working hard on my dreams and at the end of the day, I realized the understanding of my purpose is to live life as much as I can within myself, like I'm enjoying it myself. I think that's a wisdom that I could probably share to you guys today Living for myself. Living life for myself.
Speaker 1:Nice, um, living for myself, living life for myself, nice, that's very powerful. To live from your core, live from what you really, really desire in this life. And yeah it's. I can definitely see the difference when I'm talking to someone that's passionate about what they're doing. When you talk to someone that's really passionate about what they're doing, it's like another cup of coffee or cacao, because it's just like, oh my gosh, it's infectious. It's infectious to be able to feel that energy and that intention and that focus and that purpose. And yeah, I totally feel that and I also want to dive deeper into, like, your resilience and courage, like because doing these big things, there's always, there's always a chance of failure, there's always a chance of, you know, things not working out. Like, how do you overcome that?
Speaker 2:so, I think, acceptance for sure. Of course, it's such a disappointment for me to not being able to see the reality that things didn't work out. So part of me is like sometimes holding into the past and really like trying to like replay everything and just like making my life I mean myself so shit, and sometimes I get stuck there and then I came to a realization it's time to move on, time to make a new project. And this didn't turn out really good, learn from it, move on. I think that's also part of me where I'm easy. I hold things, of course, and study and replay everything that I've made a mistake or what is it that didn't turn well, turn good. So I study and then sometimes I get stuck to it and then have this like blame myself for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I take it really like introspectively. I think that's very important as well to have like a wisdom of being in the person who's really introspectively. I think that's very important as well to have a wisdom of being a person who's very introspective. You always want to improve yourself, but rather blaming the other person. I think that's my wisdom for this age where if there's something wrong with my friends or I don't blame you, like you're a bad person or something like that. Like I would say, I just take everything so slow and like, look at myself and were things that I went? Like that I go wrong.
Speaker 2:I think that's part of wisdom as well to have, like acceptance and the ability to take the accountability being responsible for being accountable that I am wrong and I have accepted that and I'm willing to say I'm sorry and forgive me, you know, and I think that that that helps me push through to the next challenge, like accepting and being accountable, that I forgive myself for being young and I accept it, that I'm wrong and I'm being young, you know. I accept that, that that's my age and how, that's my biggest wisdom, that that time. But I'm pretty sure, after this experience because that was the purpose, like for me to experience that that that's wisdom. So accepting and putting that ego down that, oh well, I'm a sucker loser this time but next time no yeah, you know what?
Speaker 1:this reminds me a lot like the first time I went surfing I was always eating like a bunch of washing machines hella salt water. There was one time I almost died like I felt.
Speaker 2:I felt like that was just like rich, be humble.
Speaker 1:He's my friend, be humble and the ocean will teach you how to be grounded yeah, to be grounded like number one. It taught me to keep on trying. Yeah, resilience. It also taught me to observe and how to get better, like I kept on falling one way and that was like it was a sign for me to adjust, maybe a little bit more backward on my board.
Speaker 1:A little bit more forward. So, learning your balance and like, adjusting to each different wave too, because that's also the beauty about surf is like, every wave is different, like, and so it's a lot about adjusting to the present moment of the nature of the wave and adding your own flair to it, adding your own style to it, and no matter what waves you do like, you try your best to be safe at it. You try your best to keep your head above water Whenever you go down and you're washing machine. I mean trusting that you get back to air again and being mindful of your whereabouts, and that's also something I can relate with the challenges like riding a wave is almost similar to riding life.
Speaker 1:yeah, life is riding a wave and finding a balance on your board and putting the time in to learn your craft or breathe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a huge thing too, because one time I yeah one of my most memorable surfing experiences I went to salvación yeah and it was the first time I was doing massive waves and I was like the only way I'm gonna learn how to do this is I just go for it. So I would go to like where the pros were and I would just like freaking paddle and just like try to hop on these waves.
Speaker 1:And it was a big lesson for me when I like got washing machine but right before I forgot to breathe oh shit and so after that wave though, for sure, every time I go surfing or before I dive, I'm always I always have a full breath, so it was like a really good lesson for me, but those seconds are really long yeah, I guess, like the wisdom also is like it's super important.
Speaker 2:You know, having to go for an experience, it's always good to have like an awareness. You know, read a book, research, google it. I guess like that makes sense, like maybe you didn't check the forecast that it will be big that time I did.
Speaker 1:I knew it was gonna be big, but I wanted to try it.
Speaker 2:yeah, to try it big, but I wanted to try it yeah to try it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just wanted to put myself in that situation, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to put you in a challenge, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Cool. So, talking about challenges, I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on the challenges of relationships and how you've been working through that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So before reaching 26,. Apparently it's like a global thing where you have to date someone who's over 25. Is that a thing for you also?
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because if you date someone below 25, they're still on their life prices and they don't know who they are. They're not very, very unstable, and then they changed their mind. I think that was my challenge learning to know who I am, what I want and what I like. So the biggest challenge in a relationship is, of course, time, time, and it only gets better and better if you date.
Speaker 2:For me, I haven't really dated one person for my whole life yeah maybe that's maybe better, but for me dating actually like I came, like I started dating when I was 18 and then then I never stopped. I was never single. So for me being able to like go through that degree, yeah, how many years yeah six. My plus two is like eight years degree in relationship guys nice, that's phd that gave me like so much understanding.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm a pro right now nice so challenges, speaking of challenges, it only became challenging if you don't, if you avoid red flags. So I think, like I say, I'm getting older now and I know what I like and what I want and what makes me feel good. So communication, you know that fixes the challenges. Uh, being transparent, like you said, to being honest to yourself, to your partner, like I think I dated one guy who was not honest with himself, that he was not sure of me, so I was also in a loop where makes me feel like I don't have the assurance. So carrying on that relationship when you see the red flag, where this guy doesn't even know what he wants.
Speaker 2:And but you know, sometimes the challenges is that in relationship you need to be logical and not just being emotional, you know you might love that person but it might not be good for you in the long run because mental, like as a mental health advocate, I think choosing a partner is the most important because that's your biggest influence, because it's with you for a long term. Like you know, you're the average of the five person you spent with and I believe that, like it's really like a product of who I am. You know, I spend a lot of time with surfers and I have this like mentality where it's chill and I don't learn and I'm more patient and I see my parents. Who's not probably exposed to surfers, but they're not. Also, they're fixed. Like you know, their generations they're more like sorry, I'm going to school, finish college, yeah, get settled and get married they're more like sorry, I'm going to school.
Speaker 2:Finish college, yeah, get settled and get married. So for me, having the mentality of like being able to flow in a relationship, that's a challenge. If that person is just flowing, it's good to flow. I'm pretty sure like it's good to flow, like, okay, I'm not gonna be committed, but you're putting yourself being logical, like overview to see everything, like you're gonna go with the flow with this woman. Storm family was your mother right?
Speaker 2:now unless you want to go in a flow for for for two years or three years. But I guess think about the, the, the impact of it, the qualities in a woman that you want Does she have and you are going with the flow. How do you see yourself? What is the result?
Speaker 2:Yeah so for me right now. That's why I have less Like, because you know I could like date someone and then right now I'm like chill, like I don't want you to marry me. But I guess I know what I want now. I just don't want to fight in a relationship which is unnecessary. I mean like, like I've mentioned this to you, you have to learn how to fight with your partner, so then you get to yeah, in a way that's non-violent and peaceful, and yeah, yeah, in a good way. Fight in a good way.
Speaker 1:Fighting doesn't mean like violent toxicity we're shouting at you and just gaslighting and manipulating you and verbally abusing you yeah that's a bad fight you know, that reminds me of like a book that I, of a book that I read recently. I mean, I was coming out of an eight-year relationship and there were definitely hiccups we were experiencing, but towards the latter part I learned about this book called Nonviolent. Communication, learn how to fight. Yeah, it's actually really beautiful. It talks about how to first observe whatever's bothering you. First observe it without judgment and like name it, and then second, communicate how you feel. What are you feeling when this happens?
Speaker 2:is that what you say, like being transparent and being vulnerable?
Speaker 1:yeah, just because sometimes you know people deal with their issues differently. Like before I was kind of an avoidant person, so if there was an issue I had patterns of like silent treatment if something happens, I'll just forget. Forget it like I'll do something else like I'll, it's okay you distract yourself yeah and it's.
Speaker 1:I'll just say, you know, it's okay, I don't mind, I'm okay with this, I can find a way to make peace with it all. But then there's also like a pitfall there, because there's like resentment that gets built up oh yeah, oh, my god, this is so true.
Speaker 2:Actually, I think I've probably like talked to you about this, like where I've mentioned like when you had a fight with you, like a challenge in a relationship, you had a fight with someone and they get hurt and then you move forward, but you hurt them unintentionally because, of course, you were young yeah and naive of like how to deal and handle a relationship.
Speaker 2:But then yeah, it's interesting that you understand what I'm saying that the pain will stay, and then it just it's like a bank where you save up all this resentment and then pain and then one day it blows up that you don't even want to see this person ever again in your life and it's happened. Does that hurt you. It went to your heart, yeah. So it's very important to communicate, like you said, nonviolent communication.
Speaker 1:It's a challenge, definitely a challenge when you're really triggered.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did you remember the? That's so cool that you're being transparent with this, because that makes it like I can see a high value man right now.
Speaker 1:Let's go. Hey there, ladies.
Speaker 2:So the courage, you know, the courage to be weak, not weak, that's not being weak, I would say. The better word for it is like being transparent. That's very courageous. Not a lot of men can do that, or a woman can do that.
Speaker 2:I was talking about the splinter, that you not hurt you oh yeah, you got hurt and then it's a sudden movement, you got hurt and how do you take it out? So you have to be very careful. So that's non-violent communication. When you take it off, you have to be very careful because it hurts when, when you, when you take it off like that. So I'm not sure if it implies to other people and communications like I'm just saying that when you had a fight and you hurt someone unintentionally, don't be an avoidant, don't make it, make it more big by being silent and not saying anything about it but, being more open, like okay, so like in an immature side of me or my ego is in between the fight, I would say you're hurting me, man.
Speaker 2:You're supposed to say sorry because I'm a woman and you're supposed to say sorry because it's your fault. So I think that is a challenge in a relationship where, when you don't want to fight or the splinter is there, you have to be very careful in taking it out. So you have to communicate with your partner. Where you have to think about these things, where it's not his fault, it's not your fault either, it's your trauma's fault. Yeah, you're fighting with your childhood trauma yourself or that person, childhood trauma. So I think being able to be gentle and respect, I think the respect to your partner, where do you ever see yourself like at the very beginning, where you see your, I think the respect to your partner, where you ever see yourself like at the very beginning where you see your let's just say, the love of your life. It's always going to be the love of your life. You're going to see that person and then do you ever feel like you're going to maybe that person made something that pissed you off or triggered you? Would you say it like straight?
Speaker 1:ahead like bravely abuse, like hey, you know, it didn't come up for quite some time, like I wasn't annoyed or pissed or mad at anything that's true love I guess that's unconditional love.
Speaker 2:So that's a good, good green flag.
Speaker 1:You can't be a martyr, or something I mean it showed up maybe like a year later was when the first red flag started popping up or acknowledging the red flags okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, like being able to respect the person. At the end of the day, there's no perfect relationship. I guess the fact that you both work hard for your peace and stability either mentally, emotionally and financially, psychologically and spiritually to work together, I think that's.
Speaker 2:That's that is why it's called relationship, because you're in both together relay you're together in it, because if you're in a relationship and then you're fighting, that means you're not in the same page. You're always competitive. I'm better than you, I'm older than you, I'm I'm more emotionally aware. I think that's the challenges that gets in the relationship. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:yeah but if you're willing to drop down that no one is smarter than each other. No one is smarter than each other, no one is better than each other. No one is hurting each other. But you are two people who love each other, who respects each other and who's willing to do everything. Looking back to where you come from, how you started, you're being able to work it through in the very present because you are aware of the future. If you are fighting right now, so you want to take a step back and just willing to accept that this is not working, it's because it's a relationship. It's 50-50. I'm also part of my fault. There's also part of my fault. Maybe she made a mistake, maybe he made a mistake, but that does not mean that it's his fault. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, the power of understanding to like. Okay, why is that you feel like this story? Why were you hurting? It's because of me, and why am I hurting? It's because of me, and why am I hurting, it's because of you. So why would you make a fuss of everything? Why not just sit down and just yeah, I'm talking in a very confident way because I don't shout at my partner.
Speaker 2:Like ever, I'm very proud of myself because I was like thinking that if that happens, that I could not trust me. This is my deal breaker. If someone is being like having this venom, verbally abusing me, I have to say One. You say that and I am very open and honest and vulnerable to tell you that this words hurts me, triggers my trauma and it freaking put me in the edge. Please be aware of this. Then it happens that I'm gonna tell that person again the next year and then I have to tell that person again the next year. I think that the second chance is good, but I'm really like a long patient. Like you know, I'm a teacher. I have a very big patient and then the third year it's the same. I'm like I'm sorry man, I love you for the rest of my life, but this is a deal breaker, yeah I can love you from a distance it doesn't make sense like this is a deal breaker that I don't see myself living a life.
Speaker 2:Who's some there's putting something in my mental health that's breaking my mental health, like putting me into a freaking mental disorder. That's a big no-no. That's my boundaries. If you cannot fix that, I tell that to my man.
Speaker 2:If you cannot fix that. Hasta la vista, baby. See you around. It's a bit emotional, but it's your trauma and I have to deal with that for the rest of my life. And I cannot and that would ruin my life, my peace and happiness with living my life, with being so passionate about life. Man, you cannot change a person in three, four years if they've been like that for 30 years. Maybe they will if they were so obsessed with you and they would do everything for you. Do you get what I mean? You can't change a person like they are gonna be verbally abusive and cannot change their habit.
Speaker 2:That's how they grow up genetically, I think sometimes you know yeah so that keeps you from having a chat Like there would be a chance in a relationship, but I think understanding and communication is really really enough. Trust me, you're going to have the most peaceful, boring relationship if you get this. Yeah no drama, no fights. So boring right. Yeah, but it's good for your mental health.
Speaker 2:And it makes you happy and stable nice I like that life actually wow I'd love to experience that yeah, experience that through being able to communicate with your partner I don't know, be crazy I you get that person trust me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you said, the power of the mind manifest that person and you get it and, of course, like I also believe in like becoming that person, yeah, so like, if I do want that safe space, it's really about becoming that safe space and magnetizing it, because we attract who we are. We attract what energy we embody like. So, if you're, if you're acting consciously in your relationships, and that's the energy that you're going to attract, yeah, if it's not working, trust me, like, if it's not working, it's not working, don't, don't force it yeah, so I'm curious.
Speaker 1:we chatted a little bit about this and I know there's lots of different ways relationships can work, but you're a person that's always been in a relationship. I'm curious like your thoughts on having more than one love.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Like at the same time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, possibly at the same time even I'm just curious.
Speaker 2:It happens you get to love someone and like someone. It happens you get to to love someone and like someone. I would say it's very hard to. I mean love you can make. I could be in a relationship right now and and it's an open relationship and I could be making love to another person, but I think from myself, like in my perspective, I can only love one person. The rest I can just like have sex, but I don't love them. You know what I mean. I think love is a big word, that love is like reliable, would accept you for who you are.
Speaker 2:It's a matter of you're being a crazy bitch, but would accept you for who you are because, at the end of the day, biggest wisdom at the end of the day, this person changed, but it's still that person. Like you, came out from an eight year relationship. I think the biggest lesson is also from my past relationship recently is that people change and in our generation it's like disposable people.
Speaker 2:I can date you and then there's another options, I can just scroll in there. I like this person. Okay, sounds like we have the same interests. Interesting, we have the same interests. I could go. There's so many distractions People are now disposable that I could just like okay.
Speaker 2:Next, the the beauty of, like you said that, having that one love, the divine to share that life. Have one person on your side who has, who got your back. I think that's real love, like unconditional wow, to accept you for who you are, whatever you go through in a face like you're still stored, even if you're gonna like go with other people and stuff. I think from my mind if you're going through my mind right now it would be me as a partner. We can be in a 50-year relationship. You want to be exploring doesn't even have to be 50, I don't know two year and you ask me, like you're very transparent and say I want to do this, for sure it would like hurt me.
Speaker 2:But the power of understanding, like I said, understanding that you're exploring or in that stage, you have all the freedom in the world and I want you to use that. I think that's part of living. You know, the freedom. Who am I to tell you what to do, man? Who am I to judge you for being so crazy in your brain and all this, like ideas in your brain? Who am I to like stop you from being creative and being more wise than who you are finding yourself and what you want? Who am I to stop you from that?
Speaker 2:I think I am the person who is out of the society norms, like the normal people. I think I'm very understanding and then that's the power of understanding, to be able to find through, to keep that relationship, to have that person for longer terms and being able to, whatever happens to your life, whatever your brain goes through from, from left to right, from front to back, go going up and down. I think having love, or the real, like being having that person who's reliable, you transform into and evolve into a different version of you a crazy one would still be in that person. I think that's like the power of love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree so much.
Speaker 2:So that's you actually, I think that's you, that's you as a person, where someone will change Like, maybe one day your partner will change and then you'll be able to be communicative and like tell each other when are you now?
Speaker 1:And then you guys have each other. Nice, yeah, it's. Devotional love is powerful, because you're there to support, you're there to care, you are there to help them, help each other, evolve and also, at the same time, like you're devoted to yourself, you're devoted to your purpose. Your, yeah, what makes you alive and thrive.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And to be in a relationship where it's two whole people.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's something that would be really magical because, like you guys already love your own life and you go together with someone that loves their life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're able to. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so just more, more toppings on the pizza, you know yeah, it's, it's.
Speaker 2:It is very crazy where it's like beyond a normal person could ever think about. Like everybody follows the same thing. Where you get married and be with one person, there's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong also if you find the person and then at the same time open it so you get to live and not regret at the same time. Like it's not, like, I think, the only person that could not. I'm pretty sure there would be a lot of comments and like a lot of people disagree. That could not. I'm pretty sure there would be a lot of comments and like a lot of people disagree. Yeah, I think more importantly is that making that relationship work and not make it more stressful because at the end of the day, like we said, if things don't go well together, if you two and your partner are fighting and then you hurt each other, that person is man. She's not okay with it, that person is man she's not okay with it and then end it.
Speaker 2:You know that's it, so you're not hurting that person. It's not like that person probably compromised, but if that person would only compromise, if that person is not being honest to herself, if only she's been honest to herself. That I am monogamy, I mean, yeah, like I only want one person but I love you, so you do whatever you want. But Not being honest with myself Is me Hypocrite to myself, where I'm letting you Do this and hurt me and at the end of the day, you are Psychologically Putting this Trust issues in me and everything. So I think, being transparent To your partner, where, also From your side, putting this trust issues in me and everything.
Speaker 2:So I think, being transparent to your partner, where, also from your side, I want to do this and I hope you're aware the very beginning of this. If this carry is on and that person where I want to explore more, and if you're that person, then we can go with the flow and just enjoy this. At the same time, I also want not not me like trying to go and fuck around, but at the same time, like I want a reliable person. I'm just chill. I'm just chill, that chill cool.
Speaker 1:So there's another topic that I wanted to dive into here before we wrap up, and it's really like you know you're a shargao local, yes, like you've lived, in general, luna, your whole life, your family's, from here, and we do know that there's like a lot of people moving in to the islands right now and there's been a huge change because shargao is getting way more busier than ever. Do you have anything to say about that, like the changes and you know, and like do you have any concerns that you have or things that we should be more mindful of with the people entering the island?
Speaker 2:and way to honor the locals yes, yeah, that's a good, good topic to wrap up this podcast. I I want people like, if there's comments, I would say like I guess like support businesses that are in service for people and not just like really just investing and making money out of it. I guess like to be part of like sustainability is to pay for something that like creates more, a better community. So basically like saying like support more people who are into mindfulness, help you know, anything that that is healing, anything that makes us feel good, stretching, yoga, music that's really good business. Instead of like I think I would say it's good to support also like party, but I would encourage, because if I seeargao with just clubs and clubs and clubs, I think one club really is enough for this island.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It gets crowded for sure, but you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Imagine this island with all these clubs. You know, I would rather have it like a sacred place where there's a lot of meditations and yoga and more of like swimming lessons and like surfing all more fitness, more good for the health, that's you know, I'll call it. Yes, it's like it's good for sometimes, but in moderations, I guess. And yes, be aware of what you support and you spend your money with, like, you know what I mean wow.
Speaker 1:so basically what I'm hearing is, if you're coming to Siargao or starting a business, like, don't just do it for the money, but do it for the community, like think about the community.
Speaker 2:Think about the health.
Speaker 1:Think about the wellness of the people here and people around you and the communities that you're supporting.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yeah being more sustainable as well. I guess, if you're going to go to a restaurant, that's not sustainable. I guess that's also part of the problem where we're fighting. This is violent. We don't have a proper waste management still, not just at Ayman, but we are trying to do great, I guess. Yeah, just being more conscious of where you support and where your money goes.
Speaker 1:Awesome yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually like. Yeah, thank you for having my perspective, Amir.
Speaker 1:Cool, cool and yeah, what better way to support the yoga, the, the vibes then? Music yeah, the music with your own surf school. Do you want to let them know about your offering here?
Speaker 2:oh, yeah so we do premium classes for surfing. Ulap. Surf was made because of my experience. So my brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, which is a mental disorder, and they were very fit, they were doing sports, they're surfers but they were not aware of, like, being vulnerable and transferring how they feel. They never seek out help. So I guess the surfing community is in Siargao. It's really big. We are the surfing capital of the Philippines. Siargao is very sacred.
Speaker 2:Storm has a space that heals people with music and we know that music heals us. That's a good way to support businesses, and what I'm trying to say with the surf is that it really stops everything, because you know, we all have this responsibility to be a sister, to be an entrepreneur, a son or a daughter, or you know we all have this responsibility. But when is the time to be with ourselves and spend time with ourselves where we feel like it is our time? When do we take that break? You know when. When do we take that break, you know? So I guess, like here with this podcast, it's like I want to raise awareness of mental health look after yourself and take care of yourself, and there's a lot of space for you. Storms welcoming. Thank you for the help with this podcast, with digging deeper onto wisdom and putting that awareness that the power of the mind is very important and it helps a lot of us to achieve and get better on decision-making, for sure, and putting yourself more in exposure to what feels good.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I invite you guys to come on to ULAF Serve. We do premium coaching and we do a really good coaching. So we tap on to spirituality where you connect with the wave, because if you're not connected to the wave, to the nature, to yourself, you're not going to be able to be safe and enjoy surfing. So we tap into your emotional. Are you feeling really really bad because you can't just surf and you're not feeling really well? You're going for a suicide.
Speaker 2:So we have a surf school that keeps people safe and we all made this program where we teach us the surf etiquette, safety and surf etiquette. So, yeah, everybody's welcome. Surfing is water sports that you would like to try while you're in siargao, because it is a sport that brings you close. It gives you a good relationship with people in siargao and people who you you you attract to like with your energy. People are laid back and chill, yeah, but that's not the case, because right now, people who don't go to school and just go surfing yeah they get into a fight because they don't know what the rules are.
Speaker 1:So that's why I'm happy that you let me share my surf school so, thank you, and like surf is so beautiful, like I've always like gone to different places, different parts of the world, where this there's surf community and there's a really different energy with surfers, like generally, because they're so close to nature yeah, it's naturally meditative being in the water and because, like they're so close to the ocean, like they're more mindful of the trash because they're swimming in it.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and that's, that's oh, my god, that's so good. So I could give you guys a link where I could, just like I do safety and etiquette and give it for free. We had, like I actually created like a link where people could see through like what are the things that you need to be aware of in the ocean? So surfers, for sure, are very aware of the environment because they give the ocean, gives us so much happiness, like it heals us so much, that it taps into your, to your body, to your mind and your soul. So we are very grateful and surfers, at the end of the day, they're very cool people, so you don't want to miss that yeah, but don't they the surfer?
Speaker 1:hey, I'm a surfer awesome all right.
Speaker 2:Uh, thank you for having me and I I can't wait to listen to all these people that you tapped into. I'm really grateful. Thank you so much for existing.
Speaker 1:It's such an honor to be able to pick awesome people's brains Everyone's doing awesome epic stuff and to be able to see how you guys think and how you guys work it's like, and to share it with everyone here is a deep, deep honor, because what's wisdom if it isn't shared?
Speaker 2:yeah, oh my god, albert einstein, or what?
Speaker 1:no, that's stormy. Sevilla 2024 live and direct. Yeah so thank you so, guys, for tuning in to the Wisdom podcast. If you guys want to check out more episodes, more wisdom, more indigenous knowledge, feel free to check out our episodes. Stay tuned for the next episode and have a beautiful day.