002 Overcoming fears and insecurities to share one's testimony

This episode of Porch Chat features hosts Madison and Christi Howes, along with guests Cort and Mercy, discussing faith, personal growth, and the challenges of sharing one's spiritual journey publicly.

Madison opens up about her recent experience posting faith-related content on TikTok. She describes her initial hesitation and fear of judgment from friends and family, but ultimately felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to share her testimony of being healed from depression through her faith in Jesus. Madison recounts the positive responses she received from many viewers, as well as her first encounter with criticism in the form of a comment labeling her experience as "religious psychosis."

The hosts delve into the topic of handling rejection and criticism when sharing one's faith. They discuss the importance of guarding one's heart and mind, referencing Ephesians 6:12, and not allowing negative comments to overshadow the positive impact and support received. Madison reflects on how this experience strengthened her faith and provided an opportunity to demonstrate Christ-like responses to adversity.

Christi and Madison explore the concept of having a relationship with God, prompted by a question from Madison's former coworker. They discuss the differences between religion and relationship, emphasizing the unique aspect of Christianity where God actively pursues a relationship with humanity. Christi highlights the importance of God's grace and unmerited favor, referencing Ephesians 2:8-9, to distinguish Christianity from other faiths that focus on human efforts to reach the divine.

The conversation touches on the power of prayer and the role of spiritual leaders, with Madison sharing her realization that all believers have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit. They discuss the importance of pointing people to Jesus rather than relying on human intermediaries for spiritual guidance.

Personal testimonies are shared, including Christi's experience of miraculous healing and Madison's discovery of prophetic notes she had written months earlier. These stories emphasize the tangible ways God validates faith and provides guidance.

Throughout the episode, the hosts weave in biblical references and personal insights, creating a warm, conversational atmosphere true to the "porch chat" concept. They address topics such as validation, dealing with doubt, and maintaining childlike faith in the face of life's challenges.

The episode concludes with reflections on the enduring nature of love, referencing 1 Corinthians 13, and the importance of remembering God's faithfulness during times of doubt. Madison and Christi emphasize the transformative power of a personal relationship with Jesus and encourage listeners to pursue their own spiritual journeys.

This Porch Chat episode offers listeners a blend of personal testimony, biblical wisdom, and practical advice for navigating faith in the modern world, particularly in the context of social media and public sharing of one's spiritual experiences.

Transcript

Madison: 0:02

This is podcast number two of porch chat.

Christi Howes: 0:08

Welcome to the porch chat podcast a place where we kick off our shoes and gather to discuss topics about our faith life and wherever our hearts take us. So grab a cup of coffee, kick up your feet and join us on our porch. Chat you.

Madison: 0:40

Music, Hey and welcome to episode number two. Hello, our podcast. I am Madison, and I'm here with

Christi Howes: 0:53

Christy, and we actually have today court and mercy with us as well.

Madison: 0:59

Yes, all right, how was your day today?

Christi Howes: 1:02

It was excellent, yeah, great day. Today. Was very productive. Woke up early, was able to get a lot done, good. I haven't seen you all day, so it's nice. This is gonna be, guys, this is gonna be a genuine porch chat. We got our cup of coffee. We do hot cup of coffee from one of the best coffee shops and it's so good. Yeah, what kind is this? This

Madison: 1:23

is hazelnut cream. Decaf. Has to be decaf, right? Oh, so today, today was filled with many moments that I feel I've just been I just want to share and I just want to talk. So that's exactly what I'm going to do, and like we talked in our last podcast or our last episode, I started, we started to talk about Tiktok a little bit, and I wasn't sure if we disclosed it in the last episode, but I did start posting, and I am starting to post my journey on my faith and having a relationship with Jesus, kind of similar to, you know, what I hope to find through this podcast. You know, it's just like learning and finding, finding, finding my faith a little bit deeper in, you know, sharing that with people and, you know, yeah,

Christi Howes: 2:19

so we talked last podcast a little bit about porch chats and why we started porch chats, and literally, some of the best conversations we've ever had. We're on our front porch as the sun is going down with a cup of coffee. We found some great Jesus moments. We've talked about great life moments, business relationships, marriage. There's just a lot finances. A lot of great conversations have come out of our porch. Chat. So yeah, I like to hear a little bit about your heart today, and what, what are some things going on through your mind? Maddie,

Madison: 2:49

so I started posting on Tiktok, like I said, and I have made three videos so far, and the first one was really big for me, and that was, that was a big moment, because it's been, it's been in my heart a lot, you know, I felt it really heavy in my heart, and I just didn't do it. I didn't really want to do it okay. Because, you know, I was scared and scared of what people are gonna say, and scared of, you know, who's gonna see it, and, you know, all of those doubts that hold you back from doing things. But I did it. I posted my first one, and I felt really inspired to keep going. And I posted a few more, but today I got my first comment that kind of made me sit back and go,

Christi Howes: 3:36

Okay, let's first. Let's rewind a little bit. Tell us about your very first tic tac. Why you decided to make it, and what was the struggle in making it, and what was the content?

Madison: 3:47

Yeah, so the first one, um, the, well, I honestly feel like it was put on my spirit, because I didn't really, I know I wanted to start posting, but I didn't know what you know. I really had no, no idea of where to start, but I just really knew, you know, that I've had a testimony already. You know, I've had a testimony, and that was on my heart. And I, I mean, you think about my past, and you know how I struggled with depression so much, and how I, God completely healed me from it. You know, I haven't had an ounce of depression since I, since I gave my life to God again. And it was really heavy on my heart that day, and I just felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me, like, today's the day. But I had felt like posting before this, and I was like, you know, I'll just, I'll just go and do it like, I'll just talk about, you know, my faith and what I found so far. But I just didn't really feel confident in myself. And I have a lot of people on my Tiktok, a lot of friends and family and people from my past that I, you know, was worried about, what are they going. To say, you know, what are they gonna think?

Christi Howes: 5:02

So the content of the Tiktok was, what specifically and also

Madison: 5:06

putting myself out there like that. I mean, I I've always had self, self image issues growing up, right? So the thought of speaking and putting myself like on camera and then posting it for people to see was new to me, but also scary.

Christi Howes: 5:21

And you were saying, Go a little bit deeper, yeah, I'm asking, what were you saying in that first Tiktok? Oh, yeah. So

Madison: 5:27

in my first Tiktok, I was talking about how Jesus completely healed me from depression and how I was feeling, yeah, yeah. And so I went into details, a little bit about how I felt and the experience and the peace that I had felt versus the depression that I was feeling,

Christi Howes: 5:43

got it so this was a really big moment for you. This was a moment when you were really letting people know, yeah, guys, I'm different.

Madison: 5:52

Something different happened, yeah, like in my first in the first episode, my face was like red. I was so nervous I kicked my cousins out of the room, and I was like, I need to do this. But I'm so nervous.

Unknown: 6:05

Your throats all dry. You're like,

Madison: 6:09

Hey guys, yeah, but, um, but yeah. I mean, and I felt deep on my heart. I mean, the I feel like, you know, when I know that the Holy Spirit really cleansed my heart and healed me from the depression that I was, that I was dealing with. And I just felt like, I like, people need to know this. People need to know that the Holy Spirit can do that. Yeah, you know that he can heal in that way that I've experienced it for sure. And you know what? Also I see people, yes, there's people on my past that are on my on my social media, and that worried me. But also those people know me. Those people know my past, you know, so by holding myself back, I'm holding other people back, right? Because these people know me. They know what I've struggled with, and now they they know what I'm coming out with, and you know, saying how the Lord has healed me, right? So who knows what that's gonna what impact that has on their mind and that, you know, I feel like the Holy Spirit revealed that to me. Like, by holding yourself back, you are holding me back from touching other people, like I want to work through you in this way, you know.

Christi Howes: 7:14

So tell me about you got a first, your first comment.

Madison: 7:17

So this was on my this is on my very first video. Actually, I just realized on the first video that I posted, and I have a lot of comments from my friends and my family, like, wow. Like, I love you. Like, this is awesome to hear. So that was really good, but I got a comment today, and I honestly didn't know if I wanted to talk about this, because I don't know if I want to, if I wanted to call attention to the to the spirit, but someone commented and said, that's called religious psychosis. Babes. I was like, oh, okay, so, um, what

Christi Howes: 7:56

did that do? What did that do to you?

Madison: 7:58

So at first I was like, religious psychosis. Okay? So it was almost instantly I knew that it was a way of getting me to doubt myself, Okay, getting me to doubt what I had just experienced and the experience I'm trying to share. And I could feel that doubt. It was like right there, and I was like, no, no, um, and it's some things that I wanted to say, and I actually typed it out. I did type out a response, and I said, I'm not paranoid, nor living in a false reality. However, I was before I gave my life to Jesus, and I'm so glad I'm out, and I had doubted myself in that minute, like, should I respond? Should I give? Should I give energy to that? You know, because I knew I felt that doubt in my head, and I knew that's what it was used for. So after insulting me and insulting myself and insulting me, then she goes on to say that she's glad that I found peace in my truth, and she's glad that it helps. So my mind instantly knew, Okay, so first you go with insult, and now you're going with how you're glad and you're happy for me. So I to me, it was a way of trying to play on my emotions, you know, like trying to act like the spirit, trying to act like you care, you know, like I have the best of interest for you, but you're like, like you're schizophrenic, like you're paranoid, you know? And that's what that religious psychosis is, when you get into that deep state of paranoia, right? And it is a thing. I've researched it before. It's a thing of, you know, it's paranoia of living in a false reality, that you're stuck in the spiritual world, right? So it is a form of paranoia, and I just think it's interesting. And I said, after I said that, you know, I feel like I was living in a false reality before. You know, when I My eyes have never been more clear now. But I think it was definitely interesting. Interesting because you it was, it was in a form of insult, and then in a form of, I care for you, you know. And it just kind of, it just kind of made me realize that you know those when you are doing something, when you feel like you are doing something for the kingdom, when you're doing something that, you know, after seeing all my friends and my family and all the love and support that I got after continuing to post, and then you're gonna have your adversaries come after you, right? You're gonna have the adversaries hit you, right? And this brings me to um, a song that I heard earlier, and it was so good I ran down here and I shared it with my cousin. But the song was called never bow. And in the lyrics it said, basically, never bow to anything that is not the Lord Jesus. And a couple of the lyrics said, and when it gets hot and your adversaries come and adversaries come after you continue to stand and don't bow, because what do you do when you bow right? You are surrendering and you are worshiping right. So if you are to only bow to the Lord Jesus, right, but then you allow the adversaries to come after you, and you surrender to them. You surrender to the enemies, you surrender to the negative, you surrender to the anxiety, you surrender to the stress, you surrender to the depression. You're bowing to this, and now you are worshiping this, right? Because you are allowing it, you are allowing it, and you are, you are surrendering to it. So I just the song really touched me, because even if these things, these things are going to come after you, you know, the it get hot in here, right? But keep standing like, don't let the heat bring you down, you know,

Christi Howes: 11:54

yeah, you know, one thing we talk about is we talk about validation. We talk a lot about validation that a lot of people are looking people are looking for validation in their life. And, you know, we, I think intrinsically, we all long for validation. And what we're doing that what we're doing in what we're doing is right, what we're doing is the correct path. And so when we look at the comments, and we see the comments that are supportive, we're like, yes, yes, I'm right on. You know, this is right on. And, like, how many comments did you get of support? So many. Okay, so it's so cool that, like, it is our natural instinct to be like, I want to talk about the one that wasn't supportive, you know, like we want, we that one, like, seems to trump the 30 that were. And we often think that, you know, things are coming against us more than they really are. Yeah, you really see you have a tribe of people that support your path and your progress. And in fact, it's probably pretty inspiring, yeah, and

Madison: 12:58

to me, and also to see like the people that I knew before, right? And the people that I worked with before, and to to come and to be like, you know, like, you know, to me, it's wow, like the Holy Spirit is moving and really touching them. Like I felt like was, you know, that I felt like he was, like, pushing me to really putting it on my heart to post, because that's what he wanted to do. So it was more of a I am, you know, I'm so glad to see that, you know, I think it also built my faith. It built it built my faith more, you know, like I felt that confirmation, but also this was confirmation to me, you know, like, not that it's, you know, not that it did make me sit here and be like, oh, you know, like, I just can't believe they said this or this or that. Because I expect that. You know you have to expect that absolutely. You know, like you said, like you said yesterday, like you're going to have the people that support you and you're going to have people that try to take you down. You know that you're going to have that right, especially when you're doing something for the Lord.

Christi Howes: 13:56

Well, in Ephesians 612 Look at Ephesians, 612 it says, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of the dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. So we really need to look at those moments as this is not about that person. Absolutely. Don't know that person's story. We don't know where they've come from. So we can't internalize frustration or even rejection. We can't internalize it as if it's our failure. And, you know, make us want to stop it.

Madison: 14:25

To guard your heart, right? You have to guard your heart and your minds. Have to guard well, it says the peace of God beings for seven Yep, right?

Christi Howes: 14:32

The peace of God guards our heart and our minds. And that's so important, is when we're doing things that we're following the peace of God, and that will guard us when the heart garden adversaries come. Yeah, absolutely. Well, good. So you felt like this really strengthened you? Yeah,

Madison: 14:48

I felt like it really did. And also it's, you know, I feel like it's also a point where, you know, you can handle that any way that you want. And I feel like it's a you're given such a choice, and you're also given an OP. To really show what you're there to do. You know, you can, you can come after a person, showing that your fight is against flesh, right? Or you can sit there and decide how you're going to let it affect you. Are you going to bow to it, or are you going to stand, you know,

Christi Howes: 15:13

sure. Are we going to get defensive and then ruin our testimony? Yeah,

Madison: 15:19

right. We're just going to people in the comments, all right, well, that's, that's why I left the church.

Christi Howes: 15:26

It's hard. I think rejection is one of the hardest things to grow through. It's so hard. I

Madison: 15:34

think also, I mean, you think about rejection and growing up, growing up in a in a space where you already, you know, you're basically rejecting yourself by having, uh, no self confidence, and you're being you're, you know, you have, you have this mindset growing up, and you you have this mindset put on you by things on the outside, by the spirits, and you know, you so you have This mindset already growing up, you know, basically rejecting yourself. And I mean, that's what I had, you know, you have a mindset of rejecting yourself. So when you get that, that acceptance from people, you cling on to it so much, right? Sure. And then when you know, you get that rejection, you get that again. It's almost like, like you said, it will trump over. It would trump over the acceptance that you once felt, you know, and I think it's also interesting. I don't know why my brain just connected. When you talk about gratitude and you talk about having a feeling of gratitude, but it's almost like instantly, that feeling can go away, and you start to be like, Okay, now I gotta do this. Now I gotta do this. Now you think about it leaves, and then you, you go into a state of, you go into a state of not having gratitude, right? And so I think

Christi Howes: 16:53

it when you deal with rejection, is what you're saying, Yeah, you feel like state of not being so

Madison: 16:58

like when you feel accepted, right? And you're in a state of acceptance, and then you have that rejection, and it's almost like that trumps over everything, right? It's like when you're when you're in a feeling of gratitude, and something happens, or something, the adversary comes your way, and it's almost like that can trump over your gratitude, and that trumps over the thankfulness, right? My brain disconnected that,

Christi Howes: 17:22

that whole we were talking about the validation, I think that that's something too, that our society is really huge on, especially in today's culture, is I really believe that what man is seeking is peace and hope, and they seek it in so many things, and they won't find it outside of a true relationship with a true God. And I'm not talking about a religion or an organization, but relationship. But when you re and what is that? Okay? We hear that in a relationship, but like, what does that really mean we really have so that's

Madison: 18:07

so interesting we came to this point. That's so interesting because I had a old co worker who was a really good friend of mine. She actually contacted me today, and she came out to me and she said, hey, you know, I don't have your number anymore, but I really wanted to ask you, I see the relationship that you have with Jesus, and how do you have that? Wow, she said. She said, how do you I just got the Goosebumps chat.

Christi Howes: 18:41

She said, how do you see why we're doing this?

Madison: 18:43

She said, I've been trying, and I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. And she said, how? Like, I don't know if this is weird or not, but like, can you give me some advice? Like, how do you have that relationship with God? And I sat there for a second, and I was like, Wow, what a good question. You talk so much about having a relationship and how important it is, but let's talk about how do you have the relationship, right? So you know how you have the religion. You go to church, you all stand together, you sing when it's time to worship, you sit down when it's time to read. You leave church, you go to your favorite lunch spot, and then you go back home and live your daily life. That's how you do religion. So how do you do relationship?

Christi Howes: 19:27

How do you do it? How

Madison: 19:28

do you do relationship? Yeah, I mean, I don't think I have an answer. I think I'm learning, and I think I'm growing myself and learning how to have a relationship, right? But I think when we, and this is something that we actually recently talked about, is why I think when you you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and declare that He is Lord with your mouth and with your hearts, and you know he, you accept Him into your heart, you know you are saved, and you know the holy. Fear is dwelling inside of your heart, but now it is up to you to continue to grow your relationship with Jesus. And to me, when I think about a relationship, and I think about, you know what a relationship, what my knowledge is of of a relationship, how does a relationship work? Communication with constant communication, right? And when you when you think about communication, it's when you communicate with with your partner, right? And a problem occurs, or something happens, and you come up with a solution. You know, you communicate. You know the problems that you're having, they communicate back, and you try to find a solution, right? And you talk about things that you can fix, but when you don't follow through with your communication, you don't follow through with what you know, the what you guys are both. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna read, I'm gonna do this right? And I feel like in a in communication, when you don't follow through with or you don't, I'm sorry you don't take in what your partner is saying and process it. And if there's something that you talk about and you're like, you know, I want to do this, or I want to do this, and you just communicate. But then after you don't do anything, after, like, you know, I feel like that's the part where the works comes into hand. But when you don't follow through with the communication, right? I feel like that the communication in a relationship, when you have communication with your partner, you're both speaking back and forth, right? And I think that's so important. And you take in each other's each other's, how does the word I can't get the words out,

Christi Howes: 21:43

but this, in this specific situation, is, you know, when you see somebody face to face and you have a relationship with them, it's it's interaction, and so it's a give and a take. And so there's a physical being, body that you see, and that is hard for people to really grasp and understand that you can have a relationship with something that you cannot. It seems so fruitful you know, that you can have a relationship with something or somebody, or a DD that you don't see, that you can't touch, that you can't feel, you know, yeah,

Madison: 22:19

I mean to me. Building my relationship right now with Jesus looks like, like I said, communication, talking, just having the faith that we are talking to each other, having the faith that Jesus is sitting right in front of me. You know, I think my relationship I'm learning to build off of faith, because faith is a belief in things not seen in the hopes of what they are, right? So having that faith and knowing, you know, just even sometimes in my head, I'll picture like Jesus is talking right here to me, and just in doing that, building what I feel like I'm doing, building my relationship off of the faith that I have of Jesus really helps me to communicate in that way. And communication, to me is prayer, right? So just praying, and even if, you know, I've gotten to the point where I can feel like, you know, I am, you know, like the Holy Spirit is like, you know, it almost feels like he's right here, like sitting like, like, right here on my chest. And I felt that, I felt like, like, that, that heaviness in my spirit. But it's not all the time that you pray, you know. And when I first started to pray, I didn't feel that, or I didn't feel like I, you know, I feel like, you know, I'm talking to the air. That's what it just does feel like. But just having the faith and the hope that he's, you know, right here, talking back and forth, then it's almost like, now I know that he is, because in my head, you know, I've used my faith to like, okay, like he's right here talking to me, you know. And now I feel like I've, I've kind of trained my brain, but trained my faith to know that he is, you know. So I think it's, for me, a faith thing,

Christi Howes: 23:54

um, that's a tough one for some people. Yeah, I think that's something to really chew on and really be able to articulate, yeah, that more as you dive more into this. Because when we talk about faith, other faiths, Muslims have faith. Buddhists have faiths. I They have faith in what they believe. I went to Thailand many years ago, led a group of people to Thailand, and it's heavy Buddhist religion out there, and we went to several temples and got to experience what it was like. And I would see these monks and these people that were faithful to their religion and their culture, and it was fascinating to me that they would devote their whole lives and energy to these things that I felt was a lie and a deception. But they don't believe that. They believe, with everything inside of them, that what they have found, or what they are doing is a means to connect with a father, and that's where, yeah, that's where these religions, they're doing, these. Rituals, and they have to do things ritualistic we've talked about just like we in America, ritualistically go to church. We ritualistically raise our hands in worship time or song time. We do these things as a means to pull God, the Father, down to us, and to reach out to a God and to touch a God. The same thing with the Muslim faith, that the prayers and the things that they have to do day and day night, to please Allah. And you look at that, and I find often other religions is really an attempt for man to reach after God and to please God and to do enough for their God and to hope that they can make him or their deity proud of them. But Jesus is different. It's the only faith where it is a God that is hunting us down, and not because what what we've done, but because what he's already done. That's the difference between Buddhism and Muslim faith and other faiths. And I'm definitely no pro at all of them. I've read books about other faiths in my in my time, but as in my studies throughout all the years of knowing God the Father Jesus as my Savior, I've really had a struggle trying to answer that question is, what makes my faith different? When somebody says, How do you have a relationship with Jesus? What does that really look like? And you say, the answer is, faith. Well, that's great, because a Muslim person has faith. A Jewish person has faith that Jesus isn't the Messiah. A Buddhist person has faith that there. So what is different about your faith than their faith? And the difference that I found is Second Timothy 213, it says that even if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself. It's one of my favorite verses because it literally is a God that pursues us, and even when we don't have faith, he still makes himself so known to us. That's who he is. And if he if he didn't do that, if he doesn't pursue man's heart to give man peace, if he doesn't do that, he's not the real father. He's not the real God, and we shouldn't serve Him, because He wouldn't be faith. You know, he would, he would not be a good God if he didn't pursue his own creation. And then something else that I wanted to point out, that I think is super important is in Ephesians, 289, it says that God saved you by grace when you believed. Now, grace means unmerited favor means you didn't earn it. Yeah, you can't go after him. You can't pray loud enough. You can't seek him hard enough. You can't read your Bible enough. You can't, you know, be a good enough person. You could literally be the poster child of the Christian faith and be a good girl, and that matters little to him. What matters is what he did. It says going on here in Ephesians, two, eight through nine. And you can't take credit for this, because it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things that we've done, so that none of us can boast about it. But the other religions, their faith is based on what they do, yeah, how much they do, how much they pursue. But our faith is about how much, how much pursue this. Do you get the difference? So when you say, what is your relationship with the Lord, that's what's different about this. And then when God says that he's faithful, He's faithful in the moments that you can't put to words, because God speaks to every man, the heart of every man. He pursues us relentlessly. So we're seeking for hope. We're gonna find hope in either Christ, the true Lord, or we're gonna find hope in things that we think. You know, we talk about validation. We're going to find validation in society, beliefs and culture. We're going to want to post tiktoks. We're going to want to hang around people and friends that want to applaud our decisions in life, that necess that may not necessarily follow the peace of God, because we're looking for that validation. So ultimately, the peace of God comes directly from him and him alone. And no matter what man says, I believe firmly in your heart that God is a pursuer, and it's not my job to convince you that Jesus is real, because he's already convincing you it's not my job. My job is just to demonstrate the change that has happened in me, because I know that he can do it, and I don't have the magic pill. He's the magic brain. He's the one that does it. He's pursuing your heart. All you have to do is take out your hand and take the gift, respond, and so I think to. Often too. We Christians try to, like, we really want to be the ones that pull people in, and we forget that that's just not our job. Our job. Some of us point them, yeah. Some of us, yeah, yeah, point them in. Like, what's happening in me, like some of us, water

Madison: 30:13

also comes with boasting, right? So you're boasting in just as you read, like, just as you read. I mean, it says it right there in Scripture, like, you cannot boast. You cannot sit here. And, you know, I think it's also something I had a I had a revelation a while back when, when, um, it came to people and people who will go to the church and go to go to their pastors, like, I need prayer for this. I need prayer for this, and they'll basically beg their pastors for prayer, and it's almost like they're having, they're having they're they're believing that their their pastor or or somebody else other. You know that their pastor has power, more power over their prayer than they do, you know, if the Holy Spirit dwells inside of all of us, right? We have the we have the power that was gifted to us by the Holy Spirit. You know, you and then you have people go, and they'll go to pastors like, I need prayer for this and this and this and this and this, right? And it's almost like, you know, the pastors and just that are making themselves to be the one to come to to prayer, you know. And it's like, but you have that inside of you as well, you know, like you have the power over your prayer by the Holy Spirit, just like any other person does. You know. But I feel like you know. And just like we said, pastors in the organization, they boast in that, and they boast in the in the leadership, and they boast and, you know, come to me for prayer, like prayer requests, like, you know, but really like, if Jesus is the one, right? Jesus is the one that we should be pointing them to, not to ourselves or not to our pastors, you know, but you have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of you, just like I do, whether I'm a pastor, whether I'm a prophet, whether I'm a evangelist, whether I'm a you know, Christian sitting in a pew, you know, like you have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of you, just as much as they do, you know. And this is what, what I was reading this morning, this this morning in First Corinthians chapter 13, and it talks about how the prophecies, the speaking in tongues, you know, all the gifts of the Spirit, will eventually pass away, but the love of God, the charity I said in the King James Version, will not. And I thought it was awesome, because verse 13 says, and now they remain, faith, hope, love, love for others, out of growing of God's love for me. These three will remain after everything right after Jesus comes back, these three or three will remain. But knowledge, you know, the gifts of the Spirit, all of those things will pass away. But the greatest of these is love, right? And this is in the Amplified Version, but the King James, love is, you know, chair. They use the word charity, right? Charity is love, right? And it talks about how love never fails. And you think about the love and the child, like love that we are supposed to have towards Jesus, right? And when you think about a child and its father, right, and the guidance that the Father has, you know you when you're a child, you don't go to your your brother and sister, you know, you don't go to your brother and sister when you need something, you don't go to them for guidance. You go to your father. You go to your parents, right? So I think it's, it's also a beautiful thing when you talk about having a child like faith and the we said, we said earlier, the unconditional love that a child has right. And I just think that it is so important for people and Christians to remember, you know, like keeping the Christ in Christians right, and having that childlike faith. And I think it's something that really we should continue to remember and build ourselves upon. And also, you talk about, you know, and like, I go back to my coworker asking me, like, how do you have a relationship with Jesus? Like, how do you have that? And I, like, I said, I sat there for a second and I was like, well, like, I guess, how do you answer that? How do I have a relationship with Jesus? Or how do I build one? And I'm like, You know what? But this is how I build one. Like, I continue to learn. I continue to, yeah, read, but I continue to learn. I. Continue to communicate and through this, you know, as me, what I feel like is building my relationship with Jesus. Faith is a part of it for me, yeah, but my relationship isn't built solely off of my faith for God, but all of that that goes along with it. And I feel like having having those aspects, like, you know, having your relationship, and knowing that you are looking to God as a father, and having that child, like childlike relationship, you know, is also important, you

Christi Howes: 35:32

know. And I think that that is important. I think the key word today we keep talking about is validation. And we seek about we seek validation in man, oftentimes even posting, you know, encouraging words, it's good to hear, okay, people are receiving this or this is great, okay? And then the one comment just really kind of rings in our ears and drives us crazy. And we have to check ourselves, right? We gotta really check our ego. We gotta check our anger. We got to check our frustration.

Madison: 36:01

I have to check your why too. You

Christi Howes: 36:03

definitely have to check your why. I think that's so good. But as we're talking about relationships and validation, and all of this is, how do you have this relationship with Jesus? Jesus is so good at validating his relationship with you. We don't have to validate it, because the scriptures say that even if we're faithless, he remains faithful. So he is the responsible party here, right? Not you right? And

Madison: 36:34

that's my kind of sense. Like, how do I say,

Christi Howes: 36:37

you know? So like, test this if he doesn't validate it, then don't serve him, because he's not worthy of it. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. So if the scriptures say that he is even if we're faithless, he will remain faithful, for he will never disown himself. That means he's obligated to pursue you, he's obligated to show up, he's obligated to reveal himself, he's obligated to validate his relationship with you, and if he doesn't, then don't serve him. Yeah,

Madison: 37:14

those are tough words. Yeah, those are tough words.

Christi Howes: 37:16

And I can tell you of some times in my life where Jesus has validated, over and over and over again the reality of His deity that I can't deny. My foot. It was broke, undeniably broke. Fell down the flight of steps, undeniable. Immediately started praying. Felt like there was a tornado in my foot. Do you know this story? Did I tell you I was going, I was actually in a church. I was getting ready to lead an event, and I was the only one in the church, and I fell down an entire flight of stuff. Would love to have seen that, but broke, broke my foot, um, and I just immediately laid hands on it and started praying, and it was like this tornado and worms like, swirled in my foot. It was the top left part of my my foot, and it swirled and it swirled until it just the pain just went down and out of my of my heel, and it was gone. And I'm like, shut up. I'm like, tapping my foot, you know, and I'm like, pounding. I'm like, No way, like I don't even believe this. And I stood up and I started stomping, and it was gone. And I'm telling you, call it emotion. Call it the presence of God, either way, I was never the same again. I ran down the second flight of steps jumping, and there was no one there. Yeah, it was just me and Jesus. And I just said, I just and I look, we can talk about healing all day long. I have great friends that have great faith, that have died from cancer, and they prayed their guts out, believing that God was going to heal. I don't know the mysteries of God, and I'm not even going to try to define them or explain them. I just know that my foot was broken. God healed it. And I remember I was so overwhelmed that I like, blacked out. I like, came to it on the floor, and I was still praying. I was just crying. But something happened I was 18. Something happened in my heart. And I'm telling you, I've been through a lot in my life and in moments of doubt and darkness, I go back to those moments where God validated my faith, you see, and and I'll and people will question, and it'll make me question, and rocky times hit, and you want to say, but God, where are you? And then I'll remember that moment where God validated my faith. Can you deny me now? No, I

Madison: 39:36

can't. God. You know, I had a notebook that I started writing in a few months ago when I first getting when I was first getting first getting into my faith, and I, at the time, was reading, and I had felt like some and I was like watching different podcasts and this and that. And I had felt like, you know, I guess at the time, a few things, I was really on my spirit, and so I would just write them down whenever I felt it. And. And I was just basically writing down every little thing. And so I found the notebook again, and I was kind of reading it, and everything that I had written down then didn't really apply, like it did, but it didn't really apply, but I started reading it now, like two nights ago, and I was so shook by how relevant it is for right now. And it was such a confirmation, like God, reminding me that, like he went, he literally went before me, right, like it, what I that, what I had written down was remember what he did. Remember the things that he did when you start to doubt. Remember the things that you know, the peace that you had felt when the world tries to get you to to waver, because that's what the world is meant to do. Like the world is corrupt, the world is deceived. It is going to make us waver and make us doubt. That's the point, right, right? And I had written that down, and I was like, wow.

Christi Howes: 41:02

Like, you had wrote in it. I I had written it down right when you're down from the country, and the pot I had,

Madison: 41:12

but I had written all down, and I was reading, and I was like, wow. Like, do not forget the piece that you had felt. Do not forget, you know, what he took you out of because the world's gonna try to make you forget, right? And it's gonna try to put that, you know, like, Oh,

Christi Howes: 41:28

that's good stuff. Nice. Good stuff. Well, look, we're down to our last sip here. This has been a good chat here porch chat with Maddie. Maddie, do you have any do you have the final say.

Madison: 41:42

Love never fails.

Christi Howes: 41:44

Love never fails. Thanks for joining us again on another episode of porch chats. We look forward to talking to you again soon. You