Letting Go of Self-Blame in Relationships

In this episode of Matchmaker Matchmaker, Aleeza Ben Shalom and Rabbi Yisroel Bernath respond to a listener who is struggling with self-criticism after a past relationship. They discuss the importance of forgiving oneself and using mistakes as learning opportunities for better future relationships. The conversation offers practical advice on personal growth and emotional recovery post-breakup.

Key Points:
Normalizing Mistakes: Aleeza points out that making mistakes is a common part of all human interactions. She likens it to how children stumble when learning to walk, illustrating that errors are essential for personal development.
Timing of Conversations: Aleeza Ben Shalom shares a personal tip about managing emotions during conflicts. She advises waiting until you're calm to discuss sensitive topics to ensure the conversation is constructive.
Shared Responsibility: Rabbi Yisroel Bernath highlights that problems in relationships are usually not one-sided. Recognizing that both partners may contribute to issues can alleviate unnecessary self-blame.
Constructive Reflection: They offer advice on how to reflect on past errors effectively, which includes stopping negative behaviors, expressing regret, clearly stating intentions for change, and making plans for improvement.