Art School F*cked Me Up

Hey there, my fellow art enthusiasts! Buckle up, because in this episode, I’m taking you on a rollercoaster ride through my own artistic saga. The title?  Yep, that’s the unfiltered truth..

Picture this: I’m a wide-eyed fine art student, fresh off the Texas plains, and I’ve just landed in the vibrant chaos of London. The highs? Oh, they’re there—the exhilarating moments of creative growth, those brushstrokes that felt like magic, and the intoxicating scent of turpentine in the studio.

But then come the lows. Academic burnout hits like a ton of bricks. The pressure to produce masterpieces on demand—like some caffeinated Picasso—leaves me drained. And don’t even get me started on the critiques. It’s like having my soul dissected by a panel of judgmental art gods.

Internships? Yeah, I’ve done my fair share. Coffee-fetching, paper-cutting, and pretending to care about office politics. But hey, at least I’ve got stories to tell.

And social media? Oh, the double-edged sword. The likes, the follows—they’re like addictive little dopamine hits. But they also fuel the comparison game. Suddenly, my sketchbook feels inadequate next to that influencer’s perfectly curated grid.

And then—the plot twist—the pandemic hits. Suddenly, I’m painting in isolation, questioning my purpose. Is art essential when the world is falling apart?

But fear not! This episode isn’t just a pity party. Nope. I spill my guts about motivation—the elusive muse that flits in and out like a fickle lover. And let’s talk about the education system: a maze of deadlines, sleepless nights, and existential crises.

Guess what? I pivot. I shift gears. Fine arts? Nah. I’m chasing a double master’s in Entrepreneurship and Marketing. Because, my friends, creativity isn’t just about pretty pictures; it’s about survival.

So grab your favorite paintbrush (or spreadsheet, if that’s your jam), and let’s dive into the emotional and practical tolls of being an artist in a topsy-turvy world.

Feel free to tune in, laugh, cringe, and maybe even shed a tear. And hey, if you’re listening while sipping a mocha in a quirky café, you’re officially part of our tribe! 🎙️🌟

Creatives and entrepreneurs have so much in common - let's bridge the gap of acknowledgement and leverage our creativity!

Stay tuned for upcoming episodes (post episode #7) for interviews with exceptional creatives and entrepreneurs from around the world!

And stick around to follow the journey of an artist in business school (me!) - hope I am able to help you in your journey to career freedom!

Transcript

1:19

So I moved to London specifically to study fine art. I'd gotten really depressed in Texas and decided to move in with my family who had. Uh, come to London, uh, about a year beforehand. I did a foundations program where I was able to set up my portfolio and I got really engaged and super enthusiastic about the entire process. Uh, and was actually able to get into a. You know, decent university. As I waited to hear back about, I think I was waiting to hear back about my university. Um, acceptance. I did a little hustling to try to find some internships. To kind of gain some experience. I figured, you know, if I don't get into university at least to have, something to back up my CV and then that can expand me farther. I was able to get one and I was super excited. I was able to work with Henny crickets. Gutsy which, um, who is in a sculptor here in London. Uh, he was needing an assistant. Uh, so he took me on as an apprentice and I helped him with the construction of a chapel for a, I think it was Switzerland Uh, sculpture park. Now. When I finished that apprenticeship and actually I continued to working with them for years after. Uh, cause I just started to get contracted to be like an assistant carpenter for one of the studio. Sorry, for one of the artists in the studio. And I did that for a few years, just kind of on and off. And I loved it. When I started my university degree, however, I went in with so much enthusiasm and a little bit of like too much ego. I honestly felt like I was in my element. I wasn't there with a purpose. I had kind of already. I had started university in Texas before. And was doing all the partying and the fun stuff or whatever. So when I, when I started university in London, I was already a bit older than the rest of the cohort. And. Came in with like a very focused mindset of like, this is what I'm doing. I'm going to put in all of my efforts and like, see just like completely focused. On my course so that I can. You know, Power through. And once graduating I'll be like a professional artist. and it was, I was just Was super engaged and hopeful and focused, and that I was able to maintain that for like a solid year. end of the course. So was left, feeling confused and resentful and just. and burnt out. Completely. It was like a 360. Would it be 180? It was a 180 shift in my mindset and how I felt about. My situation. about that today. Because. As much as I came in as a super dedicated student and I have always been quite a debt dedicated student. I think there was a lot of, um, downfalls within the program. Now. Do keep this in mind. My second year. At university. COVID hit. So my studies were impacted by this. As many other students were. had to adapt and go through. Uh, change and learn how to use different softwares, how to implement curriculum that they'd been using for years. How to implement that into an entirely new environment. Right. And try to maintain it, engaging. And professional and all that. Well, Something you should know. About me is that I hated fan of social media. In general, I went through a hiatus of like seven years, uh, when I was about 15. of removed myself from it. I would maybe go on and dabble a little bit because there was, you know, social pressure around me. But for the most part, I wasn't on it and I wasn't consistent. And I didn't see much benefit. From it, it kind of just made me feel shitty and I hated seeing everyone on their fricking phones. Like this, when they're surrounded by people. just decided to. Remove myself. Once however, and everything went online. And we were to transition into social media as the way to promote our work, um, set up like. Exhibitions. And there was a big learning curve for me. all of the different things that you could do. Um, just like on Instagram alone. that enthusiasm that I had that focus, that ego that I had when I came into the, to the course, when I started the course. I was. muffled, I guess, by. The overwhelm that I felt with having to be on. Line and take care of that side. Now I was aware that this or that it was kind of ingrained into my brain and other creatives brains that we need social media in order to progress with our careers. Um, so I knew that there was this element of like, okay, I might as well just. Get on with it. I mean, my visa depended on it. Uh, because, you know, I was at uni with a visa. So I kind of just needed to. Get on with it. I did. I studied. The algorithms. I learned how to post and use like those, um, automators to schedule posts and figure out keywords and all that jazz. And I even dabbled with like tick talk, which I thought was really fun. Like all the different editing stuff. That you could do with like videos. So that was quite but at the same time, incredibly overwhelming. Get the feeling that I was working towards anything. Substantial. Like at the end of the day after. my, my posts creating, I would create these like enormous content calendars, I guess you'd call them where I would see like a month's worth of my Instagram feed. Um, just flat out. Because I wanted to make sure that perfect because I'm looking at perfectionist and it was just so much, I would like wake up. Like 2, 3, 4 in the morning in sweats. Uh, drenched this like crazy thought of like, oh my God, I forgot to like, Upload that or maybe the timestamp was wrong or whatever the fuck it was. And that was happening on a regular basis. And at this point I had only been doing, been doing it for a few months. So naturally by my course, I was completely burnt out. It, it, it I also didn't feel like it led to much at all. Naturally. You could say that. That's my own fault. that I didn't. the right areas for it to work correctly. But whatever the case, I. Stopped using or social media in general. Um, of, um, relevant kind of post, like more career focused stuff or, you know, things that I'm creating or seminars I'd go to. I think. Um, because I was so kind of resentful with my tire. Uh, Aye. I world anymore. It felt. Really superficial realized even outside of social media, because I was a performance artist, I was already one standing out from like the rest of the cohort who were doing paintings or video work or. You know, a bunch of installations and stuff. My focus was more on performative art. And I realized that one, the because it was different and it's very, it was very, um, Bold would make. Um, so I'd get a lot of know, stroked my ego and made me feel good. And maybe like I was in the right path, but it also eventually took me down a path of. Like, why, Why. Just why am I making this stuff? And I realized after several months that it was. Not original. Mission almost, The original it just, it didn't feel right. I was telling stories and I was very engaged with what, with what I was making. When I had to make it cause, you know, deadlines for me or almost crucial. I don't refer me to finish anything. It wasn't fulfilling. by the time I graduated. I was just life. I felt like I wasn't taught things that I needed to be taught. Uh, and I see in retrospect, Now that, you know, I would have maybe really benefited and maybe the entire cohort cohort would have really benefited from. Kind of being, actually market ourselves better, how to even like network or set up our own events. Um, which to be fair was a part of their curriculum, but COVID kind of got in the way of that. But I still feel like there could've been more. Focus on it. In or regardless. Because. the university didn't teach me like hands-on. Creative skills. Like we didn't really have. For example, color's theory to paint. Um, like a specific in a specific from like the master's, which I got really. There was a point where I got very. Was useless. YouTube, and I probably could've gotten a better. Um, But as these that. Uh, Even if they if master painter now. The the business side. Of this because it is right. We go into. Art university with this desire professional artists or to like move up in that path. But upon graduating, it kind of just felt like the world was flat and I had no tangible skills. To provide or to show for. system in general or further education system, I guess. Just university. Theme. Of this like kind of resentment towards. The art world and the art education. Um, how there seems to be like a skills gap almost. education or university, I would highly suggest you to focus. On a more specific Mine was incredibly broad. It was just a fine arts And we were kind of shown how to do shown how to do certain things and very. Only a very limited amount of each of those things. And a lot of it was just conceptual and writing thinking about what we're creating, which I love because I enjoy writing essays. But if you're already like Creative side or like your inner mission souls. Desire to create. It feels. Kind of just like. It just feels I wrote an essay. It was like a major essay. I was supposed to turn about how to take care of adoptive cats. Because I've realized that they couldn't tell me that I couldn't do that. Because I was, you know, I from the first year of my university, I was in fact told by one of the know, how to bullshit through, like, explain what you're doing. Just kind of. You know how to do that, it's honestly, it's like the easiest thing ever. And I think that really is exactly what And everyone kind of knew that. it was a very small amount of people in my. Um, class that really pushed. Themselves out of their comfort zone and. You know, they were already naturally a lot of them were mature like 30 and up. Who have come from a different path in life or. Kind of already know how the world works. And so they saw. They saw all of the places that university And they just filled in. You know, as they needed. So like some people. Would maybe get like internships or, um, You know, just kind of network better. Oh, again. I just felt so. Pissed off at my situation, I had. Regularly wish that I had chosen to path for my education. Because I realized, you know, if I had gotten a more. in business now, I'm doing a double masters in. Entrepreneurship and innovation. That's the first one. And, um, International marketing, which will be my second masters. Um, I'm doing that with. Aye. Aye. I'm. I'm aware education. I was dead set on. Not. Doing another BA or following or continuing my studies into an ma I was so dead set on it, but my circumstances kind of changed where I like my visa is going to end in October. I kind of. I was starting to build a business and I'd been engaging with in business activities have been self-employed for a few years now. So there was, I've already had that like pole. for other people really. Um, Um, In business specifically. Well, I impeding me from. Continuing. Building to. So if I'm able to like to launch my own thing. So. So that's the hopes. I was able to find an ma that is super based. And. Hopefully that will. with me. Um, I will be sharing basically the curriculum that I'm going through, how I'm implementing that within a creative practice. Um, Also aim to, I also aim who by the way, come from many different backgrounds because this university really focuses And hopefully you'll get some