I'm an Avid Pivoter (Though You Might Call It a Quitter)

 Hey there, fellow creative entrepreneurs! Today’s episode is a raw and unfiltered exploration of a topic that often carries a heavy stigma: quitting. Buckle up—I’m about to spill the tea on why quitting isn’t always the villain it’s made out to be.

I’ve spent a lifetime wrestling with task completion. You know, the classic scenario where you start a project with gusto, only to abandon it halfway through? Yep, that’s been my jam. Society labels it as flakiness or lack of commitment, but what if—just hear me out—it’s more about recalibrating our compass?

In this episode, I share personal anecdotes—the messy ones, the ones that don’t fit neatly into success stories. There’s vulnerability here, my friends. I talk about the weight of societal expectations—the pressure to persist even when the path feels like quicksand.

But then, a game-changer: a conversation that felt like a lightning bolt. Someone looked me in the eye (well, metaphorically—we were on Zoom) and said, “Hey, quitting isn’t failure; it’s a pivot.” Suddenly, my perspective shifted. Maybe quitting isn’t waving the white flag; maybe it’s adjusting the sails.

We’ll dive into the power of long-term vision. Not the sprint, but the marathon. Because sometimes, quitting a sprint means you’re gearing up for the long haul. And self-awareness? Oh, it’s my trusty compass now. Knowing when to pivot, when to dig in, and when to dance with uncertainty.

And let’s talk trial and error. It’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Spoiler alert: Some of my best life decisions came from sticky spaghetti.

So, whether you’re battling feelings of inadequacy or just craving fresh perspectives on goal-setting, this episode is your pep talk. Because guess what? Imperfections are our canvas—the brushstrokes that make us beautifully human.

Grab your favorite mug (or maybe a quirky chalice—I won’t judge), and let’s explore why quitting isn’t the end; it’s just a plot twist in our epic saga.

Remember, my fellow marathoners, life isn’t about sprinting; it’s about finding our rhythm and dancing to it. 🎨🏃‍♀️✨

Feel free to sip your coffee, nod knowingly, and hit play. And hey, if you’re listening while doing sun salutations in your living room, girl, I'm so proud! 🌟

Is there anything else you’d like to chat about? Let me know—I’m all ears! 🌟👂✨

Creatives and entrepreneurs have so much in common - let's bridge the gap of acknowledgement and leverage our creativity!

Stay tuned for upcoming episodes (post episode #7) for interviews with exceptional creatives and entrepreneurs from around the world!

And stick around to follow the journey of an artist in business school (me!) - hope I am able to help you in your journey to career freedom!

Transcript

1:23

I have a history of not completing tasks or things that I set out to do in my life, and it's completely fucked my reputation, especially with my immediate surroundings, or like the people around me. So, my family, they sometimes even make fun of when I stopped doing something that I said I was gonna do, or that I had started doing. it can be really difficult when that's been, your entire life to get yourself to actually finish something. And to be honest, it's not even about finishing something. It's about just showing up for yourself and for what you're wanting to prioritize in. when I realized this one specific thing that I'm going to share with you, it completely 180'd my understanding of what it means to quit. And I think that by having this in your brain, inside your little nugget, could really help you reframe your situation. Let's get into it right around. I think it was April of this year. So 2024 I Had a bit of a breakdown and I ended up calling my sister when I was at my lowest in this phone call, I told her how much shame I had about, Where I was in life, and how I felt like I couldn't do anything, I wasn't able to show up for people, and that I, you know, life just seemed very pointless and overwhelming. And I told her how I felt like our parents, and even herself, just didn't believe that I could amount to anything. I felt like I'd become the laughingstock of the family. Because I'd been given so many opportunities, and as a child, Things came very easily to me. But as I grew older, you know, life is different than life in school. She said one of the most powerful things I'd ever heard in my life. One of the main reasons why I'm even here talking to you today. She said, It's not that we don't believe you can't do something. It's that we just want to see you do it. And that really hit home. Because I also wanted to see myself do something with my life. I also saw that I had a lot of potential. And just wasn't living up to it. After the phone call, I was back to that phrase of, I've had enough with my situation. I'm so done feeling like a failure, feeling incapable and small. Because deep down I knew that that wasn't true. I'd seen myself prove time and time again that that wasn't true. But my brain is always focused on the negative. And any time I would fall short of this, Goal that I've had, that's what I would focus on, and I would allow that feeling of disgust, and hate, and pain, win. So, yeah, I started over, so naturally there's this period of experimentation, trying to find my footing, understand where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do with my life, who I wanted to be, which, if you're anything like me, can feel like you're constantly giving up. And so I'm going to tell you a story today about one of the more recent times that I, quote unquote quit. but in reality, I think we need to really focus on this idea that when you're in that experimentation phase, when you're trying to figure out what you want to be doing, it's almost crucial that you try several different things. Because you could start something and be really excited. We all know that feeling. And then, maybe a few weeks or a couple months down the line, it's not the same. But it's crucial that you really focus in on why. Why is this thing now no longer as intriguing to me? Why have I lost focus? It could very well be that you are scared, and that is definitely where you need to learn to Be your own parent and guide you through that fear, right? You have to build up that brave bone of yours. But if it's a matter of something not resonating well, or aligning with your ultimate goal or vision for your life, then that's completely different. you should allow yourself to stay flexible. You should allow yourself to be in the moment, say yes to things, say no to things, Not to beat yourself down, but rather have adult conversations with your inner child. it can be very confusing, but, at the end of the day, I said as long as I don't stop, Moving forward, I'm winning. Because it had been almost six months of me just in my very bogged down depressive state. I mean, I was doing absolutely nothing but watching Netflix on a beanbag and eating chocolate. there was this inactive energy that I had to, reignite, right, I needed to put some fire in my bum, get myself to do things, and so just trying different things out got me excited, got me moving, which is really important, especially in this state. Because you need to be focusing on the upside, not on the downsides. You can deal with the downsides as they come, but try to focus on the positives, right? You're there to explore, to figure out where you want to be going./So I came across this 30 day talking to the camera challenge, it seemed like a great opportunity for me, because one, it had this timeframe element, where it would build this routine of me consistently showing up, and it would allow me to build a skill that I feel I should work on, because by starting this, personal brand online, being able to speak openly and from the heart and honestly show up authentically to people that I don't know, it's terrifying, and I thought, you know what, this is a 30 day challenge for myself, It will allow me to learn how to show up more naturally, how to use my voice more adequately, possibly how to tell stories, all of these things, And I thought it was a great starting point. Because it would be a skill that would allow me to build up my confidence, regardless of whatever other outcome was there, it would allow me to really focus on building up confidence so that I could stand on my own two feet, talk from the heart, of my own perspective, my own life stories. Because that's what we need more in the world. Right? And I think we're all starting to see this uptrend in just human connection and people wanting authenticity, which is fucking awesome. So I started. I took on the challenge, I paid for the program, and I got Very engaged. I really enjoyed the routine that I had built up with it. Waking up every day, having my coffee, exercising or doing some shakeouts in the morning before, turning on the camera and recording, doing the exercises. I really loved it. It was quite refreshing and Kept my mornings interesting, and I found the exercises to be quite helpful as well. And I noticed, really the main thing that I took from this program, was that I noticed how after each video, I was a lot more clear headed and had a more positive, perspective on where I was. It's almost, if you've ever experienced journaling and the benefits of journaling on a regular basis, which I have, I've kept a journal for years, I think I've felt such a positive outcome from just engaging in journalism. Through vlogging like that. So yeah, it was like journaling It was like I would just talk because the exercises especially in the beginning didn't focus on like a specific storyline or Topic we could just talk about whatever we wanted because I was in such a Output time in my life like I was just really focused on starting a business. I was Learning how to do all these different things and pushing through so that I don't crash and burn, as Alex Ramosi puts it. Really focused on just continuing, realizing that, things are actually a lot more difficult than, people on YouTube say they are. And not allowing that to be the reason why you stop. Yeah, that's basically all I spoke about. So I have maybe 20 plus hours of video just me talking about what I thought I was doing with the business, how I think I should pivot, the downfalls, the struggles that I was dealing with. different things that I was learning about, the specific business I was, looking into and building. It was invigorating to find an outlet to do that. And I realized that I had actually built like, a really strong connection with that business. medium of just talking to a camera that whenever, like throughout my day, after I'd done the 30 day challenge Naturally, there would be points where I'm like, oh my god, this is so overwhelming. I don't understand. I'd get flustered and there'd be that part of you that just wants to, give up or, turn on Netflix or just zone out. but I was really focused on not doing that, and I just kind of started pulling out my camera and I have this small little tripod that goes on a desk, and just started talking to it. as soon as I would get to that point and where I needed almost like to self motivate. Usually I would go on YouTube and find like Elon Musk talking, you know, whatever. However, this time around. I had found a way to self motivate by putting myself in the camera, if that makes any sense. It's basically like journaling. If you know what it means to journal, how it affects you, it's literally the same. You just need to kind of get over the fact that you're talking to yourself and all of that. so that's where the most benefit I took from the program was now a couple weeks into the program though, into the 30 day challenge. There was a lot more emphasis on the techniques and what they would call sticking points. Where the instructor or teacher or whatever, he would tell us to re watch our videos and write down like one to three things that really stuck out to us. That we'd like to change that could be maybe you're talking in a monotone voice. Maybe you're fidgeting a lot. You're doing one specific movement for some reason, you know, all these little things that you see on the camera that you hear yourself say, and write those down. And then in that video, you're kind of focused on not doing those things you can pick to do all three or just one, whatever. It was helpful for sure. but I think one thing that really bothered me was that I was already aware of these things. I think because I can be quite cerebral and self, what is it called? When you're, like, very self aware, that as I was doing these videos, I was already pretty much aware. Especially because right after I'd record, I would re watch the video because, you know, I don't know. It was fun to do so. So after like the third time he asked us to do this sticking point exercise, I was basically just fed up. I was like, why the hell? It kind of just seemed like he was shoving fluff into this 30 day thing. I really don't like it. If it doesn't amount to something greater, then it seems pointless for me to do. And that's with like, anything. So I found myself back at the edge. Between Quote unquote giving up and pushing through but this time something was a bit different Like my internal monologue was still the same, but it wasn't hitting me Emotionally the same like I was very much aware that there was a part of me that wanted to stop Because it seemed like a pointless endeavor at that point, but there wasn't this sense of like failure Which would naturally come along with quitting, especially for someone that's built a reputation around doing that, giving up, feeling pathetic, and trying to restart something, you know, that whole cycle, it's ridiculous. But I, after some rumination on this, I realized why that was. You see, my whole life I had been beating myself up for quitting when things got rough and difficult. Because I had focused on how it externally appeared, I wasn't focused on, or I didn't really pay attention so much to why I wanted to stop, why I wanted to quit. Instead, I was focused on what other people would perceive of me quitting, or of me choosing to stop something, right? It was, my focus was on things outside of my control, right? How other people perceived me. Rather than the goals that I had for myself, and I say this because I had gotten, I'd gone as far as to stop telling people about the things that I was doing, about the things that I wanted to start, or projects that I was working in. I just wouldn't tell anyone, especially my family. Because, I mean, they were there since, you know, day one. They saw. Me stop and fail regularly, and in my head they just, well not even in my head, there was definitely several times when I would tell them that I wanted to do something, that I was thinking about doing whatever, and I would get like an eye roll, or kind of like a scoff, or a laugh, or whatever, and You know, that can be really, it hurts. It really hurts to receive that. but I had to, you know, I've come to terms with that. It's just a reputation that I had built for myself, you know, and how other people perceive it or react to it, that's their own thing. But I had done this to myself. Fine. But this time around, with this 30 day challenge, and really just with where I was in my life, having come to these realizations and these conclusions for myself, I had gone about this whole challenge differently. I was, more vocally open about what I was doing, like I actually told my partner, Hey, I'm doing this thing, and I explained why I wanted to do the challenge. Why I thought it was gonna be good for me, which was already like a big step, because I hadn't really told him or I wouldn't go into detail about like the project like at all, I basically told him please don't ask me any questions, like I will tell you when and if I'm ready, just let it be, right? Like, I'm in my own little office for the 12 hours, you're working, let's just keep it like that, okay? so yeah, so I was more vocally open about it. B, I saw it more, the 30 day challenge that is, I saw it more as a tool to get better at a skill that I knew, that I knew and know that I would need to get better at, just in the long haul. it wasn't like, I need to finish this course to get a certification because the career I was pursuing, so nothing like that. But this time it was, this is a program that I've signed up for because it's a skill that I would like to get better at. And this is a possible tool that would allow me to do so. Not the only one though, and I was aware of that. There were alternative benefits that surprised me to the program. I was not expecting to have the same, outcome through vlogging that I had with journaling. I didn't even know that that was possible, or that I would personally engage and receive that benefit myself through vlogging. So that was like a really big surprise to me, and something that I Can go back to, But the one thing that stopped me from beating myself up for quitting was that I had shifted into a mindset That I had never shifted into and that was a focus on long term versus short term. At this point, I am fully aware that what I'm doing, the things that I, the goals, the steps, just my entire journey is my life journey. I hopefully will live for another 30 to 50 years. That's a long ass time. And so, because I was focused on the long term versus short term, there was basically no need for me to shame myself about quitting something. I wasn't quitting on my journey, I was choosing deliberately to stop doing one thing, but continuing down my path. I was still showing up every single day to my desk to continue learning and working towards my long term goals, regardless of this 30 day challenge that I had put. I'd started the 30 day challenge thinking that it would be a great tool for me to get better at a skill. Not the only tool, but a good tool. It was not the final destination for me. This podcast is not the final destination for me. I'm still working on, on that, right? Like, this is essentially the second podcast that I've, well, the third. But I believe this will be the first episode for my podcast. And the reason that is, is because I've had to pivot a little bit. I realized that with my first initial conception of a podcast, I was focused on an outcome as opposed to just sharing. Like, it was a lot more self centered than it is Now, or at least that I hope that it will be. I don't know if that made any sense, but back to the story. I hadn't failed because I stopped. I had actually won. I had won because I continued on my path regardless of having completed this 30 day challenge that some other person had created. The very fact that I became, disengaged With the program was because it wasn't completely aligned with what I needed, right? I paid for the program. Because I knew that it could be a possible tool, but it wasn't serving me in the same way that I needed it to serve. And maybe if I continue it now, there'll be other things that I could gain from it. But I'm not gonna shame myself for stopping something or quitting something, because I didn't actually fail. I didn't actually quit. I deliberately chose to stop, not because it was hard for me, not because I was scared to continue, but rather because it wasn't serving the purpose of the long term path for me. At least not at that point. I continued to show up for myself, for my long term vision of what I want in life, instead of giving an external thing more importance. Then myself finishing the 30 day challenge is not what's going to get me to the end zone or to where I want my life to be at or to go toward starting the 30 day challenge has helped me gain a tool, aka the vlogging bit and gain some skills in it. I'm definitely much better at using my voice now, and I'm not even recording this on video because it would just be one extra challenge. I just need to get in the habit of feeling comfortable with sharing myself, my history, my stories with you. And then hopefully we can actually, build some sort of a connection because I have just struggled so hard with building a sense of community around me. I really struggle with it. I still want to be in the world. I still want to be creating connections with people, because I love listening to podcasts, I thought, you know what? This could actually be perfect for me. I love having conversations with people, so, you know, getting guests on the show and talking to them about their own experiences sounds fucking awesome. And I know that it can be engaging content for you as well, and hopefully, content that will help you maybe shift your own mindset. Instead of beating yourself up for doing this or that, focus on the fact that you got back up, right? That's what we need to be focusing on. I deliberately chose to reprioritize and focus back on my long term game, as opposed to I just gave up, or I just quit. So you see, if I hadn't shifted into this long term mindset, I would have most definitely fallen down the usual self pity trap, right? I would be beating myself up, feeling worthless, feeling like I can't do anything, And I would just be laying on the floor, feeling worthless, but instead, because I'm like, y'know what? No. I'm focusing here. I'm focusing this tiny little dot in the future, right? This is like 20 years down the line. That's my focus. Then this little 30 day bloody challenge means goddamn nothing, means nothing. It's just the fact that I'm focusing on taking one step, one more step, three more steps, and so on and so forth. So focus on that. Focus on your long term goal, vision for yourself. And if you don't know what it is, A great, quote that Alex Ramosi regularly says that has stuck with me is Get directionally correct. Is that it? Get directionally correct. Essentially, you're going to be making mistakes. You're going to be taking the wrong steps. You're going to be deviating from your journey. We're all human. We all make mistakes. It's completely normal. But if you just get directionally correct, as in for me, for example, the 30 day video talking challenge thing, it wasn't focusing on the long term for me. There were other things that I needed to prioritize that I felt more called to prioritize for the long term. I was. Refocusing my lens, so to speak, and another big point here, or big lesson, I guess, that you could take from the story is to learn and teach yourself how to put more importance on your inner world, your self concept, as opposed to external things from you. If I had focused on how my family would take The fact that I stopped this 30 day challenge. If I'd put more time to just think about that, I'd probably start to feel more shitty about my situation, or about myself. And instead, here I am. By doing these two things, focusing on the long term, the 20 plus years, down the line, Refocusing your lens and putting more focus on your self concept, on who you want to be, and less focus on external things and people to you, it provides you a wider perspective of your situation. And you just might find the space, the time, and the oxygen that you need to focus back on the trail. So, the main message for this episode has a lot to do with focusing on why you feel the urge or the desire to quit, or why you have already quit. Really, really focus on the why. Because sometimes, yes, we do quit because it's hard, or because we're afraid, or for other circumstances outside of our control even. There's a lot of reasons why people quit. Most of the time we just talk about the fear or that we just don't have the persistency or the character trait to be resilient, right? But I really want to stress that there's another way to go about it so that you're more able and more in control. I don't think there's anything wrong with quitting. Like, just plainly speaking. There's a lot of different variations and nuances that need to be taken into consideration. This is a much larger topic than us being pathetic human beings Can't complete tasks, or can't keep promises to ourselves or others. take matters into your own hands. If you're just gonna beat yourself up, you're gonna get nowhere. but if you're able to decipher the true reason as to why you want to stop something, you might find an answer that will allow you to pivot as opposed to just quit because if we think of it as our life's work, if we think long term, all the things that we start and all the things that we stop, are just steps that we've taken in our journey. And there are things to be learned from every single experience that we go through. So don't beat yourself up. I seriously urge you to just reflect on the why. Why you want to quit. Why you want To just stop. And if the answer you get doesn't align with who you want to be, who you want to show up as, for yourself, I think that's a much bigger motivator to either get to it again, or pivot a little bit. I think you'll learn a lot more and become faster and more adaptable and hopefully more conscious of your cycle. when you start to feel certain emotions, how that can be the trigger or the last straw, We all have our own unique patterns of doing things and thinking about things. So find the motivation to pivot or continue.