Move to Greece to find calm and help by coaching with Tanya Rose 🧘🏾‍♀️ 🤝

🇿🇼🇬🇧🇬🇷 Talking with Tanya Rose, a Zimbabwean who moved to London at 16 and now calls Athens home. After experiencing burnout in the UK, Tanya transformed her life and became a coach with her unique methodology, Main Character Energy, blending productivity, self-knowledge, and lifestyle design. Tune in to hear her inspiring story and learn how to reclaim your life with her transformative approach!

Follow Tanya on 📲:

https://www.instagram.com/tanyarosecoach
https://beacons.ai/tanyarosecoach
www.youtube.com/@TanyaRoseCoach

Transcript

[Music]
This is Expat Experts.
[Music]
So, welcome to this new episode of Expat Experts. Today recording from this amazing view place from Glyphada, Athens, with Tanya.
Welcome Tanya.
Thank you.
Tania is a coach right now, also entering a little bit of the video creation, a little bit of social media creation about coaching, but also about like lifestyle, a little bit around self-awareness and motivational, but also like productivity work wise and how to live a very, like a balance, like say relation work life balance, relations.
So, you're living with yourself, but you are also originally from Zimbabwe, as far as I remember properly. You lived over 15 years in UK, London, or...?
Yes, about 17 actually, by the time I left.
Wow. Okay. And now currently living here in the amazing city and overwhelmed city of Athens.
Sunny Athens.
Yeah, that's the good part of it.
[Laughter]
But yeah, just before starting the episode, as always, like remember to subscribe to all the possible social media things that we have and of course like streaming channels. That's the most important parts, especially YouTube, Spotify, Podemo, Apple Podcasts, whatever you want. It's everywhere. So, you know where to find it, but please subscribe to the channels. So, with that said, let's talk about you.
Let's do it. What do you want to know?
The Expat, episode 6 with Tania Rhoades.
So, the most important part, like as you already said, you were originally from Zimbabwe, but you moved to UK when you were?
I was 15. So, I was actually a teenager when I moved from Zimbabwe to the UK.
Okay. Why did you move?
Many reasons. So, at that time actually my father passed away and my mother was working in the UK. And so, it made more sense to be closer to my mother. It also made it easier for us to have access to things like education by being in England, rather than in Zimbabwe where you had to pay for everything.
So, Zimbabwe has a private education system?
I used to go to a private school, yes, so there was school fees for us, but we do have public school too, but you have to pay school fees for that as well.
Okay. That's a strange public approach. Nice. And then, so your mom was already in UK when you moved there then?
Yes, my mom had moved to the UK with my little sister. I've got a younger sister and an older brother. And my mom and my younger sister were already in England, and so my brother and I went to join her.
So, you moved with your brother. That's nice because at least you don't move completely alone, like, I mean, you're going to your mom, it's not that you're going to a new country with a hand over here and the other hand over there, as we say in Spanish, but...
And then, you were 15, so I'm always curious about these moves because I interviewed other people who moved relatively young in age, even younger people, but teenagers are the age that people still remember enough to talk about it.
How was it like? How was the experience of moving abroad? Like, how does it feel to be in England for the first time?
It's a challenge for so many reasons, right? You have the cultural side of things. Going from Africa to England, that's already a cultural shock. As a teenager, at that age, I think I was now starting to like boys, starting to have friends, so I thought, okay, in three years I'm going to be partying and kissing all the boys and all that stuff.
And then you move to a completely different country where they start kissing boys at 13, for example. And so there's already that shift where I am completely different to the people who are there. And so I just had to readjust that side of things and just relearn.
Okay, what do normal teenagers do? What do teenagers do as normal in the UK? And how is that different to what I know in England? So that was probably one of the biggest challenges, the readjusting to, okay, so this is how we teen here compared to this is how we teen in Zimbabwe.
So you find it very, very different from one place to the other? I mean, obviously not like, African culture.
It was so different. And I think, you know, at that age, at 15, in England anyway, you start either going to high school. So you've got your friends groups that you're going to high school with.
So penetrating a French friendship circle is already different. Coming from Africa makes it even more different. And I grew up on American TV, so I would get things like, Why do you speak like that when you're from Africa?
And I was like, this is how everybody speaks, like where I come from. So now it's like, let me learn how to do an accent. Let me learn how to be a teenager. Let me learn how not to be bullied. Let me learn how to bully. Let me learn how to talk to boys. Let me make sure my mom is proud.
You know, so it's a it's a mindfuck, if I can swear.
Definitely, you can, of course. In British only.
I can do that.
Sure, it makes sense. But at the end, at least the language, you had it. Because in Zimbabwe, the main language is English, as far as I know.
Yes, yes. So I grew up speaking English and my dad was, you know, very proudly trying to make sure we speak English, like the Queen's English, and we're colonized by England, by the British.
So, of course, English was the spoken language. So thankfully I had English. But I had pretty good English in comparison to some of the Brits where I went to school. Not all Brits, but where I lived, you know, they were a little bit more into slime.
And so there's that thing of OK, how do you speak proper English?
You know, so it was a challenge.
Sounds like they were very welcoming, everyone.
Yes, it was hard. I mean, eventually, I got some friends and actually one of my closest friends, we're still friends now, one of the best friends I made when I moved here. So I did get a couple of friends eventually, but it was just like a penetration of who who doesn't who wants to be my friend or who doesn't have friends or who needs friends.
Who's alone like me kind of thing, you know, you don't, you know, when you grow up with people, you sort of, you have your picking, you get to pick and you say, well, I want you, I want you, I want you. But when you're the left over, it's like any other leftovers. It's how it felt for me.
Yeah, it's, I think it makes sense because you're like going, entering in a very critical age in that sense.
In a group of friends, for example, not even like entering a group of friends, entering a complete different society in your case.
And you don't have the same experiences that these other guys or girls had before to do the three age of who is a good influencer, a bad influencer, who is a good friend or a bad friend.
Well, that must have felt complicated. When did you move to UK? It was I moved to South East London.
Okay. Yeah. And to add to the level of complication, education in Zimbabwe, my family and culturally is a big thing.
And so you aim for the best grades and the highest grade when I first moved to England. They put me in you get classes, you know, you get like C class, B class, A class. And they actually put me in.
I don't know what it was called then, but it was like C class. It was the lowest. So even if I did get the highest possible grade, it would still be quite low.
So there was already that challenge of, wait, is there even a point in studying? My mom's going to think I failed before I've even written the exam.
And so there was a lot of back and forth of, hey, look, I'm an A star student in Zimbabwe. Look, I did French this, this, this. Look at my grades.
Can you get me to a higher level? And it was basically it was a no. No. The only thing I managed to get was French at the time.
They put me higher level French because I went to private French lessons and I actually got an A like I did really well in French.
And my teachers were like, oh, we should have let you do the higher grades and everything else. So by then, you can imagine you get to like you go to a society and they put you in a box.
And your potential is already this much. So then you think, well, what's the point? Let me just become a little bit lazy.
And so for the rest of my life, I just got used to it because, you know, the ambition kind of sucked out of me for a little while. But it's coming back.
Yeah, it's fucked up. I mean, when you're like that age and it's like, come on, like you're like because of their fucking racism and institutionally doing things their own way.
Sometimes they're colonialism mindset also like I'm from Spain, which is like, you know, not treating better immigrants either.
Let's say like this. Like, and because of that, you're losing people on the way. Very important people.
Because of the end, like I think UK is starting to feel like the same as it happened in Spain or here in Greece.
Young people, whenever they are good enough, they try to go out of the country. But then you have people inside who could have been extremely brilliant.
But you limited them because of your stupid mindset and yours, like your system of education, dividing people by if they come from here or they are white or not.
For example, did you feel that it was part of it like it was a racism or it was just you being like in the C grade there was all the immigrant kids going there because of that?
Or I think that's honestly for me, that's a very difficult one to answer, only because where I grew up, my circles, that sort of thing, I was only around.
I mean, I had white people in my school, but there was a bigger segregation still for that time between the black black groups and the white groups.
You know, there were certain shops where you would go in, but you kind of look different.
And that's when we used to call mixed race people, color. Like there was still something going on.
So for me, just being there already in my head, I assume that's why, but I don't have any confirmation as to that's exactly why it happened.
Because everything else was segregated. Like it was the example of the whole society.
I think UK historically wise, it's one of the places where you see that extremely hard. Like when you read anything about, I don't know, like history in UK, the generation of 69 with the skinheads, for example,
and the mixture of Jamaican people with the punk and everything and all these kind of movements, just always any story about it, it always have some segregation of race in there, involved somehow.
There's no black, no Irish. You know, you hear more and you're like, wait, what? People live like this?
It's like that. It's really like, gosh, OK. But you said at the end, like you make some circle of like friends or like individual friends here and there.
You studied high school there and then you start working in UK.
Yeah. So I actually started high school and university there. Now, the time I came, you had to be there for, gosh, I think it was a certain number of years before you can qualify for financial aid for university.
OK, so I actually took a gap year and I went to work and I was doing admin. I'm very grateful because my mum worked at a nursing home and so she had some connections and I managed to get a job as an administrator there, even though my first job was at McDonald's. Still the best job I've ever had.
If anyone wants to go to McDonald's, I recommend it as a temporary thing. But anyway, go to McDonald's in the UK. In the UK. In Bexley, to be exact, I used to flip french fries and all that.
But yes, I did get a job for a year during that break before I then went to university and I studied marketing. I wanted to do psychology. But because of that whole being in a boxing, I couldn't go high enough to get to psychology.
So eventually I went into marketing and I took a year gap. I was working and then I went into university. So I did have friends and I actually chose marketing and that university because of one of my friends that I had.
Where did you go to university? I went to Westminster. Ok. Yeah, Northwest London. Nice. Yeah. That's a nice university building wise at least. I don't know the insides.
The one in the centre, yes. But you know we had different campuses. Yeah, I can imagine. My campus was in Harrow, Northwest London. Which was again another culture shock for me because I'm from Southeast, now I'm in Northwest.
And these people, they have a little bit of like beef, healthy beef. But you know, just. Well I do this healthy because the UK can be bad beef really fast.
They can be bad maybe because I was a female. I don't know because I ended up making friends too there. But again it's like, gosh now I have to learn to speak like how they do in N-dubs and you know all that.
It's crazy in London with this kind of things. It's just like they have like this kind of like, ok people from here are very different from that. It's still the same city but it's just like or like the same areas.
And then it's like from here to there people change like hell and it's not only a class level thing, it's also like lower class from here and there, it's very different.
Higher class from Chelsea, it's not the same. Higher class in Centre, so for example. Completely different people. It's funny.
It was so different. And you get to see it because you know, when you're at university you have students coming from everywhere.
And you really get to see like you say the difference of well, high class from Harrow versus high class from Chelsea. Completely different people that even clash with each other. Don't even speak the same. They're not in the same WhatsApp group as the slide says.
It's wild. It's wild how your surroundings, how you're raised, your culture, your family and the country you're in. All those factors. One little change can make you completely different as well.
I mean, in a country like the UK, I think there is a lot of countries where they are like this, but UK has this very special way of also like changing the accents so much.
You put a Welsh person in front of a Southampton person and it's like the weirdest conversation ever. You don't get anything. And that makes it, I think it makes it also really interesting from a cultural perspective and from understanding and trying to see these whole differences.
Make it rich somehow. So from the other side, how was for your mum and from your sister to have you back at home like suddenly because you said they moved there like some years before?
Yeah, of course if I remember well, I think it was two years before but they they were there before us. And my sister moved when she was 11, no 10 maybe.
So she was younger and so she was able to. I mean she had her difficulties too of course, which she can speak to. But she was able to penetrate the friendship group earlier than me at 15 for example.
So she understood the systems and the languages a little bit more. But they were happy to have us. You can imagine you know my dad has just died. My dad died a week before I moved to the UK.
So you can imagine we've just lost our father and now it's just the four of us. And so we get to be together. Even if it's in a foreign country and you're learning so much. At least we're together.
My mum was working, gosh bless my mum. My mum worked, she's still alive. My mum worked a lot you know just to be able to feed us. But those little moments when we were together as a family was so precious.
And she always used to say it would roll our eyes. But now when I think about it, I actually get really happy. She would say these four walls are Zimbabwe. Whatever you do outside there, leave it outside there.
I don't care. But as soon as you get inside, this is us and this is Zimbabwe. So we were able to hold on to a little bit of our culture.
And to answer your question, you know we were able to have a bond with my mum and my sister because of that. She was very big on family values and us making sure we hold on to each other.
That's one of the questions that I wanted to ask you. How do you, if you did and obviously now you responded a little bit of the lyric.
How do you hold to your African roots to your Zimbabwean roots when you move there? I assume your mum was a big part of it but it was also a culinary thing.
Being able to cook the same dishes, listening to music, it was like reading things. How did you do that?
So you see my Zimbabwean friends actually say I'm not Zimbabwean enough. My British friends say I'm extremely Zimbabwean. So I don't know, I'm in between.
But we kept contact how we could. So we lost contact with a lot of our family for various reasons when we first moved to England.
So it was mainly us and then our friends, unfortunately I actually have three friends who moved to England at the same time as me within a couple of months.
So we held on to those friendships and my mum would let us have sleepovers with them. She would let us know what's happening in the news in Zimbabwe so we could keep in touch.
She always, always, always spoke to us in Shona in our language. My grandmother is Ndebele which is the southern language. She spoke to us in that.
So we had that immersion in terms of the language. Food wise, my grandmother cooked a lot of it. My Gran aunt really, I know her as a grandmother.
She cooked a lot of it so you know there was a lot of watching and how do you do that? How do you do that? I'm not an expert.
I chose not to learn to cook my favourite Zimbabwean food which is called saza because it's very fattening and if I can cook it I'm going to eat it so many times a day.
So I'm learning now.
Oh really? Now we are trying to get fat.
Now I have self control. But back then it was comfort. It was home. So it goes back to that whole, well I'm being bullied or it's difficult in this country or I miss my dad or I miss my family or whatever.
Reconnect.
So it's like, oh well, this is so familiar. But familiar, you know what it's like indulging on food and alcohol. We're sort of talking about that whole being able to hold ourselves back.
And sometimes when something is one of my only forms of comfort and familiarity, of course I'm going to just want to indulge in it.
Go, go, go, go.
Nice. What is it that's made of? I'm curious.
It's maize. So it's maize, like corn. It's ground into powder. And then you make it kind of like porridge.
You know, with water, except you do it until it's a little bit harder and then you can eat it with your hands and you dip it in casserole like meat stew and greens. And you eat it like that.
Sounds interesting. It's almost tasteless. But when you combine, oh.
Sounds like the Italian polenta.
Yeah, it might be. I've never had it actually. It sounds familiar.
Just trying to relate to something that I know.
I'll make it for you one day. We'll have an improv jam. That will be lovely. Over the sunset.
And I'll make some taza and everybody can bring their food.
Yeah, we've been talking about this with the Improv Theatre. Just to put a little bit of context.
We actually didn't know each other, but we did improv sessions with the same teacher here in Athens. So that's the connection in between.
And from then we still do improv. And there are people from everywhere in the world. So that's pretty good and pretty nice.
And we've been talking like actually yesterday we were with some of them and we were like, we should do like a day of cooking.
Everyone bringing their national dishes and then like trying stuff. That would be cool.
I know I know far, but I'll be happy to help.
If it's for food and drinks, I think everyone will move. No problem. Come on over guys.
Knowing this theatre people for food, they move. There is a pattern there. Nice.
And you said in there that you speak two Zimbabwean original languages. Sorry, I don't remember the names.
How many languages do you speak?
So Shona is from the north. More north anyway.
Devola is from the south. So my dad was north, my mom was southern. That's why I speak those two.
I speak English. I did French until university. And now I speak a little bit of Greek, you know, since I live in Greece.
And I spent three months in Colombia and picked up quite a bit of Spanish.
So I won't say I can speak it, but if you immerse me there, I can find my way around without Google Translate.
So you speak Colombian. I sometimes don't understand Colombian.
You just need SASS.
Sorry Colombian people.
I love it. I love a bit of SASS. Come on.
So you finished university in the UK as a person. You started working there.
Yes, I finished university in England, marketing. And I went into I had surgery, spinal surgery, which not long after I finished university and started my job.
So I had to take some time off of work and get back into it.
I took some time off after a year of having worked. And then I went into an internship. I did an internship in marketing communications within financial services.
So then I started doing marketing and events within financial services and B2B.
And I used to do a lot of contracts because I needed breaks in between because of various reasons, mainly related to the surgery.
And then I spent, gosh, maybe 12, 13 years contracting, doing marketing contracts.
And then I went into a senior global brand PR role marketing. And I was like, I don't want to live in England anymore.
I've never liked it.
Actually, this job sounds very much like London. Financial contracts. Wow.
I would never say that London offers financial banking and industry. Wow.
Yeah, I was I was deep in the financial services industry. And, you know, you do end up doing things like 16 hour days and it's normal, you know, including social life, by the way.
But you it's just like a grind. It's consistent. And it wasn't what I had seen because quality of life in Zimbabwe compared to quality of life in England.
What's what's defined as quality was very different. So in England, it's like my experience again.
But it was very much we work hard. We make a lot of money. We go drinking. We buy lots of beers that were hung over.
Then we go back to work. Like it was a cycle. That wasn't for me.
Whereas in Zimbabwe, yeah, you work hard, but you also play hard. You brag hard.
You know, you let your friends and family enjoy it with you.
And I found it difficult at that time to sort of get into that in England. And the weather was horrible.
It's still so I've heard hasn't changed. Even with the climate change, there is a cloud on top of England constantly raining all the time.
Do you know what? It's so interesting when you're flying into England, right?
As the airplane is coming down, especially during the day, you see it's sunny and you're like, oh, yeah, I'm landing on a sunny day.
And it's going and they just go into a great cloud and it's just crap.
So in my head, I'm like, so this sun just up there. Let me go back to Greece.
Sun is always there. Not for Britain.
Surrounded by a dark cloud. Sorry, Britain.
That's what it is. Very good beer. But guys, I'm sorry.
It's called good things, too, of course.
Of course. But I think it's especially big cities probably in the UK. It has London has this kind of thing.
Probably Athens for being a big city. I must say that it doesn't have the dynamics of a big city in the sense of like people have this obsession with working so hard to achieve things.
And I mean, I've never lived in London, but I visited.
I don't know how many times in my life for shorter or longer time to speed.
I lived in Frankfurt, which is actually like the alternative on the financial banking area right now inside of the of the EU.
So a lot of the banks in London and sort of like companies when the Brexit moved to Frankfurt and you feel like this kind of during the week,
you feel this boiling of the people working extra hours and putting like too much effort on like everything and then even like going out in between the week is for like the socializing,
but in a work environment thing. And it's just like and in Frankfurt it happened.
I don't know if it's a thing in London and London, the people lives in London if they can.
And they work in London in Frankfurt. There come a lot of people from Berlin, from the biggest cities in Germany.
And they only come during the week to work normally until Thursday. Yep. Yep.
And then in Friday, everyone disappears. And the weekend, the Frankfurt, if you want to leave the real Frankfurt, it's only in weekends.
Because the people who lives in France stays in France for the weekends. I think London might be seen.
It was pretty much. It was pretty much the same. Yeah.
You know, even now when you look at places, they're people who rent their room or houses Monday to Friday and then weekends they come back to the houses because of those people that come into the UK for Monday to Friday.
You know, there's this company I'm working doing some work for. They actually have someone who flies in from Ireland Monday to Friday and then goes back.
And I'm like, is that really just to get into that rat race of, you know, consistently. And this guy will email you at two o'clock in the morning because he's like he's there for work.
So then it's like, when are you when are you chilling? When are you resting? You know, they're not because for them, like Monday to Friday, it's work.
They don't even have like real friends in the city or anything because they're working.
And they go back and I don't know, I've met quite some people in there and there are circles of like living was not the most healthy and sustainable.
Definitely not flying from Ireland to London every week. Like very, very green fish. It's true. Yeah.
So it was that the moment that you said. Okay, fuck this shit. I'm leaving Britain.
That was mainly that was a big reason. So mine got so bad because I was in the rat race and I was you know, I mentioned a little bit that in Zimbabwe, culturally, you like Korea was important.
You know, you've got to have a good career even though it looks different in Zimbabwe.
And so in England, I'm like, okay, well, a career is being in the rat race. So I'd have 16 hour days.
I'll go on holidays with my friends and I'll be on a boat drinking wine and emailing at the same time because I'm a bad bitch and all that stuff.
So imagine doing that for however many years. I was the biggest I'd ever been like, I'm still not the size I should be, but I was overweight.
My hair was falling out with stress. You know, I was getting really sick and I had to do something.
I had to do something because I was going to have something bad that will happen.
And so this is when I was like, okay, I'm going to move to Columbia because I had been there for a month and then two months to see my friend who I now live with here in Athens.
I brought her here, but anyway, you know, I said I need to get out of the rat race because it's killing me.
And I've seen some people outside England who are surviving and there are people in England who are surviving too.
But for the lifestyle that I wanted, I couldn't.
The money I had and the lifestyle I wanted, I would have had to work seven days a week and I didn't want to do that.
So I was like, okay, I'm going to I'm going to leave. And the plan was Columbia.
And my mom did not want that mainly because it was far away, but also because of what you read in the news.
You know, it doesn't actually feel like that when you're there, but because of what you read.
And so that's why I was ready to move because I was falling apart.
Then COVID happened. Okay. So I couldn't move.
I was locked down in the UK with everybody else in the UK.
And I had friends who I would speak to online regularly.
And one of my friends was like, why don't we have these we these calls?
Let's go to Athens for two months. And I was like, what's Athens?
And he's like Greece. Oh, you mean like Mykonos and Santorini.
And I was like, oh, yeah, the islands. You know, I'll put my hands up.
I didn't know how good Greece is.
And then we came here in October 2020.
And I was like, this place feels like home.
So it was still COVID times then. Yeah, it was still COVID.
But this moment that you could move between the lockdown. Yeah, you could fly.
There was lockdown here as well.
But at least I was locked down with my friend in a new place.
With Sam. Yeah.
Away from England, because for me, anytime I go to England, like I just crash.
You know, I didn't have that support cycle.
And I had friends like I believe me, I love my friends so much.
I have a big group of friends. Problem is, my friends were in Manchester,
my friends were in Birmingham, they were in Newcastle, they were in Reading, they were here, they were there.
And then it's a cost to see my friends as much as I want to see my friends.
So then it was just an unhealthy cycle. And I was like, I need to get out.
And so I came here and I was like lifestyle that similar to Zimbabwe.
And it's close enough to the UK.
And I was like, let's forget about Colombia and let's see how we can move to Athens.
Interesting. I mean, it's a big change Colombia to Athens.
My mom was happy.
That's a good point. So your mom's still in the UK?
No, she's retired and she moved back to Zimbabwe.
She's an inspiration. She worked hard core.
And now she's living her life in Zimbabwe. And I'm like that's the dream.
In Athens, but that's the dream.
And brother and sister.
My brother's married, he's in the UK as well.
And my sister also lives in the UK with her partner.
So your family is a little bit here and there then.
Yeah. So at least I have places to go.
And at least when I go to the UK, I don't have to pay rent.
Yeah, and it's not flying from Colombia also.
Exactly. I can get flights for 20 euros.
When there was Ryanair here, yes.
Now they're still.
Yeah, I'm flying next month with Ryanair and I paid 17 euros one way.
Every turn is 100.
Tell me like going to Barcelona, it's expensive?
Going back to Athens, it's expensive because both cities are extremely touristic.
So it's like, great, nice. Like, what the fuck?
It's just like I'm paying 700 euros.
It's crazy.
Every single time.
If you have any sidebar, if you have any recommendations in terms of when to book
or who to pick with for Barcelona, let me know.
I'm going then September to meet my mom.
Oh, yes.
No, no, yeah, yeah. I have an email.
Anyone interested.
I have a default email that I send to everyone because it's a recurrent question.
I'm going to Barcelona, recommendation.
What's your email?
Send copy paste.
It's my favorite city to visit.
I love Barcelona.
But like you say, the flights are expensive.
Oh, living costs now.
It's unpayable.
Really? Wow.
The salaries of Barcelona, Spain in general.
Living in Barcelona, it's becoming very, very complex.
The flights are getting very, very expensive.
Worse than here in terms of like wages versus living.
Barcelona is a very limited city compared to Athens.
Athens is enormous, like it's very, very big in space at least.
And there is like more like places where you could live and neighborhoods that are more affordable, neighborhoods that are less affordable.
Barcelona you need to consider that we are like a million and a half people between two rivers, two big cities, mountain and sea.
So it can only grow up.
And you combine that with the fact that the tourists are arriving everywhere. So there is an amount of tourist flats and flats that are not, or like a bad amount of like social flats for people who cannot pay them or like even like this kind of buildings that are absolutely empty, empty flats.
And people not being able to pay for that because they're owned by banks, by big corporations and this kind of bullshit.
Wow.
It happens and yeah, right now it's crazy.
I mean, I was talking with a friend the other day and he's paying nearly 600 euros for a room sharing with seven people more.
That's like the UK. What?
And the salaries of Barcelona are not the salaries of London.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
People are paying like 80% of their salaries in rent right now.
Wow.
Is that part of the reason you left?
Sorry. I know this is about me.
No, that's all right.
No, no.
No, actually I got a job opportunity in Germany.
I left with a job.
Like it was part of the of the mentality of saying, OK, in Germany I would have better opportunities and salary wise would be better. And probably I would have a better life if I stay here.
But I didn't do Erasmus, for example, the programs abroad and everything.
I never lived like for a long time outside.
And I really wanted to do it.
So when the opportunity came, I took it.
Nice.
I know it's seven years outside of my hometown.
You say wow, but you've been how many years outside?
Wow.
I'm going to ask you more questions about that later.
Sure, we can do a reverse interview if you want.
I'd love that.
So what about like when you arrived here in Greece, like you were in lockdown?
And the lockdown here was stricter than the UK.
It was a strict lockdown.
So you were coming for two months?
You never come back?
I stayed for longer than two months, let's just say.
Because of the lockdown, they forced me to stay here.
Yes, exactly.
You know what, for me personally, there's so many similarities to Zimbabwe and there's so many lifestyle tips that I find here.
Things that I want in my life, I can find here and I can afford easier than in the UK.
So I like this whole "chalara", which means "relaxed lifestyle".
I like the slow and steady, the Greeks are never in a rush.
I will arrive at the bank, "oh, I'm so sorry, I'm late. Relax".
I'll be an hour late, "it's okay".
I know they complain about things and they're negative about Greece, which we can talk about as well, but they're like, "it's okay".
They say a lot of "malaka".
Just relax, malaka, relax.
While they're insulting you, "re malaka" relax.
I'm like, "I love you, malaka".
I'm like, "what?"
Why are you insulting me at the same time that you are calming me?
But it's just like, it's a slow, you know, I like the slow lifestyle.
I love the food.
I love the sunshine.
I love the men.
I'm not even going to lie.
They're even nice to look at.
And just you have, they have the seed.
You know, that's a bonus.
So I say to people, even politically, the economical stresses and whatever's going wrong here,
I'm used to it because we have it in Zimbabwe.
So for me, I'm like, "yeah, okay, it's bad, but it is life".
There's nothing I can do about it.
It's what I know.
So whatever, you know, within reason.
But generally, for me, I was like, "this feels like home", except that the people speak a different language and they are a different color.
Very different language and a very different color.
It depends on the Greek, yeah.
There's people who spend in the islands enough months to be like, starting to like, you can scratch a little bit.
I'll see you in September and see what you look like.
I can't, but not enough.
I would love to have a better tent.
I mean, I'm still not German.
If you ever met my girlfriend, she is.
She's more white as a German person.
She says that I am proper tenting, but yeah, that's like, I mean, it's true here, like the sun and the lifestyle.
It's a little bit better if I compare it to Germany.
I like it when I came here.
For me, it was like going back to the Mediterranean sea was a little bit the same sensation.
You know, like going back somewhere where the lifestyle is similar.
It's outside where you go to these plattias, the squares and you take a coffee here and you spend hours and hours outside.
Yeah. And they don't kick you out.
You know, that's one thing I love about Greece because I'm on a budget to, you know, people look at and think, oh, you're living the life.
I'm like, oh, I'm on a budget.
You go out and you pay two, three euro for a coffee.
You can stay in the coffee shop for seven hours.
They don't kick you out.
The Greeks do it. Seven hours with a single fucking espresso.
And they keep giving you more water.
The water is for free.
It's a keep it going.
More water.
I love it.
Then you can even move tables with your empty coffee cup.
They will leave you.
I like that in England, my experience, I buy a coffee.
First of all, double the price.
Second of all, an hour and a half.
You've got to go.
And it's British coffee. I'm sorry, guys, but it's not good quality.
You don't know how to do coffee.
No comment.
And I'm not even Italian.
But the Italians will tell you even worse, you know.
I said nothing about the coffee.
I mean, the Italians will tell the Greeks that they do bad coffee.
The Greeks will tell the Italians that they do bad coffee.
And it's this eternal fight of Freddo espresso versus espresso, very short, like zipping in.
I think we were talking about this with the last episode, he's Italian.
And this big difference of like Italy, like going to a bar and asking for a coffee and it's a ristretto.
Like this folk drinking two seconds, paying and going.
And here in Greece, it's like six hours and a half of like having your Freddo espresso there.
And they take two hours to make it.
So it was only these kind of things, like the small details that made you stay here in Greece.
Like it feels more similar to Zimbabwe.
That was the biggest thing. Yeah.
So I very much go a little bit.
I'm one of those people who go a bit on my energy and just like what feels right, what feels good to me, call it intuition, call it God voice, call it whatever you want.
OK.
And just when I came here, I was like, this just feels like my story because I'm about main character energy.
So I'm like, hey, this just feels like my movie.
This feels like this is where I should be.
You know, everything felt right.
OK.
Like every single thing felt right.
Even when I don't know, something bad happened, I'm like, well, that's fine.
It wasn't a problem.
It was, well, OK, I need to fix this issue, but it feels like the issue I should be fixing.
When I was going back and forth to the lawyer to try and sort out my papers and all that stuff, it was like, oh, it's fine.
I would stand there and I would go, OK, I'm going to do this.
It's fine. I would stand with the lawyer for three hours in a queue or whatever.
But I'm like, that's fine.
It's just felt like I should be here.
Now that you brought it up, like lawyer wise, what about visas?
What is the process of like?
Because when you were 15, how does that work, moving as a teenager to a European country at that moment of time?
I was dependent.
So I was actually dependent on my mom.
I was also dependent on my dad for the whole 15 years.
And my dad had just died as well.
So, I mean, we sort of did the application before he died.
But having him die helped, I guess, with when we went for the longer term visa for the indefinite leave to remain.
And once you're in the country, you know, you just keep living, you keep doing things legally.
And then after you've been there for a certain amount of time, you can apply for indefinite leave to remain.
British citizen. Yeah, British citizen.
Yeah. I don't know if it makes it easier or worse now with the Brexit coming here.
You know, Brexit, honestly, honestly, like Brexit is my worst nightmare.
Say what you want. If you voted Brexit, I'm coming for you.
But anyway, no, it is like because you are emigrating from a country to another,
needing to wait a long time to get a passport, to get citizenship or a place to end living to another place in 2020 when you were here.
Pre Brexit. Yeah. It was pre Brexit. Just on time.
And then suddenly, ah, fuck it. And you are here.
You needed to apply to stay here afterwards. Yes, I did.
So I did need to apply. But because I actually arrived in the country before Brexit was passed, it was a bit easier.
It wasn't as easy. I still had to have a certain amount of money in my account. I had to prove certain things.
It was still a nightmare. You know, if it wasn't for Brexit, of course, I could have just been living here with no problems.
Yeah. So it was it was still a nightmare, but it was possible.
And this is what now almost two years later and I'm still more than two years late, many years later, because I did go back to the UK for a while and then come back.
But I'm still going through the different paperwork processes. I've got my residency.
Yes, but I still have to go through this for my dad, this for my dad. So it's still paperwork.
Sounds like Greece. Sounds like Greece. Bureaucracy. There's one challenge about Greece.
Even even European citizens in this country, which is extremely weird.
And I even think illegal inside of the European. They request you to take this police passport of living in Greece for buying a car or buying a property, even though you are a European citizen.
So the process of like showing that you have a Greek account, like a Greek contract or you have certain amount of money in the bank plus showing plus bringing this disk with your photo of passport in a CD.
I haven't touched the CD in so many years. You got it. It's like, hey, you need to bring your photo in a CD.
I was like, what the hell? I get the CD like who has a laptop. So we see the reader.
Here's a story about that. OK, very quickly. I know someone who had to go through some surgery.
Then they went and they got scans. The scans were put on a CD for the doctor.
This person went to the doctor and said, here's my scan.
And the doctor said, I don't have anywhere to play the CD. And I'm like, how does one hand not know what the other hand does to some familiar,
a lot of doctors before the surgery in the knee. And it happened also.
I remember with one doctor, he had the MacBook. So no CD reader at all.
And I went there with the MRI, the scans and the x-rays and everything.
And he was like, one second. And he left.
And I heard him speaking with the doctor next to him, like, can you let me the CD reader thing? What the fuck is going on, guys?
Like, if everyone is coming with CDs, why it's not your fucking hospital providing you with the CD reader?
I don't know. It's just like this kind of stuff. It's Greece.
So backwards. But you see, I don't mind. Some people would be like, oh my God, how can you go through that?
I'm like, it's Greece. It's fine. Like, it doesn't bother me.
I mean, it has its nice and its bad things and it's always like this.
I think if you compare it to Germany, for example, or to the UK, some things feel like it's like 10 or 15 years behind.
At the same time, it also brings nice things. It brings calmness.
And I think in here there is a lifestyle that is more towards your life rather than job, for example, focus.
I don't know. I still love that there is small commerce in here.
Like, you can go and there is a small shop that is still selling the smallest of the things.
And they are specialized on, I don't know, wheels for furniture.
And I'm just like, no one else right now. You have Amazon, you have like all this kind of stuff delivered to your home.
You never go to a shop to buy a small wheel or for a chair, you know.
And this is still cool. I find it really nice.
I agree. And also, they are usually run by families, you know.
And also, even if you're to relate that to health, for me anyway, this is one of the things that I feel the same about that is
if you have something wrong with your throat, you go to an ENT doctor.
If you have something wrong with your foot, you go to – in England, you go see your GP, your general practitioner first.
And then they have to refer you to something.
But here is a doctor. It's for finger. Go to this one. It's for this. Go to that one.
Yes, there's a pathologist, but generally there's some little commerce, as you say, and I like that.
You might need to bribe someone in the process, but –
Usually, yes.
What is one thing that you would bring from UK to Greece if you could bring something?
Salmon.
Salmon. Wow, that's a good one, actually. I would do that also.
It's so expensive. Oh my gosh. I don't even know. You know, I now know now why, because we have no rivers and something, something.
But I love salmon. And in the UK, I thought it was expensive. So I was like, OK, I'm going to come to Greece.
It's going to be a little bit cheaper. And it's almost double. And I'm like, what? And I love salmon.
Yeah. It's something here in Greece, actually. It's the thing that surprised me the most.
When I arrived and saw the prices in supermarkets, it's not cheap. For the salary, the salary is here.
I mean, right now, the rents are going also up, which will make life very difficult.
But if you compare the prices from supermarkets in other countries where the salaries are much higher on the prices of supermarkets here,
you understand why people eat outside every day. Yes. It's cheaper. Sometimes cheaper.
It's cheaper to go to a tavern than trying to do the same dish at home. Yeah.
But also, I think that's why they then have Laikis, which is a market, a vegetable market.
Fresh vegetables and fruits. You have a meat market. You have a clothes market.
That's the cheap approach. But you need to wait until the day that the Laikis come into your neighborhood.
Or you need to have the capacity of going to other neighborhoods to buy the Laikis if you are not buying for the whole week.
You have to plan for the week and be like, OK, who is coming to visit? And even with that, in the society that we live,
some products are only available in supermarkets. And therefore you end, because I don't know, toilet paper,
you end up going to the supermarket to buy it. Yeah. Where do you buy it? Yeah. Buying other things.
Supermarkets, for me, strangely expensive in this country. I don't get it. I don't get it.
And salmon is really expensive for very bad quality. I agree. And fish, why is it general?
I think that I am. I'm a fish lover and my family were fishermen and people who work in the fish.
I love fish. But here, this part of the Mediterranean was so overfished, the quality.
Maybe not the quality, the quality remains good if you know where to go. But the quantity of fish.
It's not as you would expect from a country that it's faced to the Mediterranean Sea, literally.
I agree. But I think it goes back to that Taverna thing as well. Fish Tavernas, you know, Seafood restaurants,
there you still get, I think, decent prices. Yes. And generally, you know, good portions. Yes.
You know, it's just when you go to the supermarket, then it's like... Buying fish and this kind of things
for yourself to do at home, it's very difficult because the whole Tavernas and fishes take a lot of the
portion of what is fished already. So what arrives to the fish shops and to the supermarkets,
it's not the big amount, it's not the better quality. So at the end, you end up eating in Tavernas.
That's how it is. Yeah. True. Do you know what else I would do in the UK? The plumbing.
You mean being able to throw toilet paper into the toilet? Yes. We cannot throw toilet paper down
the toilet and flush it. You got to wipe and put it in the bin. And it's not the problem of the building
pumps or pipes. Normally, it's pipes in the streets that collapse. So you can fuck the whole street,
not only your building. Well, they know it's you. Like, if I were to flush tissue down the toilet
and mess up the plumbing, well, they know it's me. It really depends if you have more immigrant
neighbors or not. If you are the only immigrant in your building, they know it's you, yes. So don't risk it.
Not worth it. What about bringing something from Zimbabwe? Oh, wow. Your mom. Yeah, my mom.
She's been here. She loves it. She caused trouble here. I love it. Do you know, it's a difficult one.
I know you asked me that and I've been thinking about it. I'm not sure there's... I know that sounds
like probably just the food, my little favorite snacks and chocolates and stuff, because the lifestyle
is very similar. So I almost feel at home, except for those reasons I mentioned earlier, but probably
just my favorite food. Bring... I would bring the maid. There you go. That's what I'll bring. So getting
someone to come and clean your house pretty much every day. We normally have live-in maids. So someone
who lives in your house and they're there 24/7. They're cleaning up. I know I'm a spoiled little princess,
but even maids have maids in Zimbabwe. It's very normal to do that. So I think I would bring a maid
here because it's not equally priced here in Greece to be able to do that. They clean your house,
they cook for you, they follow up behind you. Like right now, she'll be here bringing you water,
making sure you're okay, and just keeping everything together. Little princess sister, man. Wow. Never
had that. I'd love to experience that for once in my life. Cool. When I come to Zimbabwe, I'll show you
right away. I will. Nice. Yeah. Do you have any crazy... Do you remember any crazy story, any funny
moment in these years that you lived abroad? Anything that pops up in your mind before we close
this first part of the episode? That was also a hard one for me. No. I don't know about funny. I think
more sad than anything when people hear my accent, they're like, "Oh my gosh, she's white British."
And then they meet me and then think, "Oh God, she's a black African." And then it just changes how they
relate to you. But that's not funny. Black British collapsing minds. Gosh, you know, I wish I could
think of something, but I can't think of anything specifically funny. Maybe it's a small one here in
Greece, especially, you know, black people in Greece is new. And so one day I was sitting in a...
Oh gosh. Yeah, I know. Racism in this country is crazy. Sorry. But you see, it's interesting
because most of what I've experienced here is more curiosity rather than actual racism. And that's
okay, curiosity. I'm okay with... Anyway, he looked at me and we spoke for a little bit, just polite
conversation, but he wasn't my type. It was obvious he was hitting on me. And then he goes, "Charlotte."
What the fuck? That was weird. I was a bit like to the waitress. I kind of looked at her and she was like,
"Are you okay?" And I was like, "Just keep an eye." And then it was... "Charlotte." "Milk." I should have sent that.
I should have just replied anything. Oh gosh. Yeah. I think here, as far as I understood when I talked
with people, racism, it went over the roof with the refugee moment, like the crisis of refugees,
but it has never been too targeted into black people specifically. I think it was more like...
I think there is a big racism against Arab people and Muslims culture and everything around Islam,
for example, it's kind of a big deal here, unfortunately. I don't know if I should say that,
but a lot of it is related with the Orthodox Church being so present in this country still. Maybe tomorrow
I'm hanging from a bridge somewhere, but if tomorrow I'm dead, it's because of this. No, no.
You know, there's quite a big Greek Orthodox presence in Zimbabwe, more than I realized.
They are really everywhere. More than I realized. They actually bring people from Zimbabwe,
from low-income families. Yeah. I'm not saying that the Greek Orthodox Church does everything bad,
but a lot of the preaching of the thing, I don't know if you know, for example, but the guys who voted
in favor of the gay marriage here in Greece, which is one of these news that was like everywhere
because it was the first Orthodox country that allowed marriage. The people who voted in favor of gay marriage
in parliament cannot enter church now. Oh, wow. So, yeah, we are doing progress, but at the same time,
the church is still banning these people for taking this kind of decision. So it's going into the correct direction,
but it needs also to be pushed from the other side that they also start accepting this kind of things.
And it's a big community. The Greek, I mean, if they are in Zimbabwe, but they are in a lot of places.
Remember this crazy story back in 2015 or 16? I don't know if you know this, in Jerusalem,
there is this church where next to it is the tomb of Jesus. Theorically, every year they enter there
and a flame starts and this concept of the Easter here that they pass the flame one by one outside of the church,
it comes from that. It's because a priest from the Orthodox Church, from the Greek Orthodox Church enters,
they check the whole body so it has lighters or anything. And by God, theoretically, it lights a flame
and that's passed through the other churches and whatever, the Greek Orthodox Church tried to bring this flame
to space with Elon Musk in 2015, for example. Why? Because it's, I don't know, like it needs to be spread everywhere.
What do you mean guys? Is there no other things you can do with your money? Yes, exactly.
I mean, that's how big is the church here. It's a whole institution. Wow. It's crazy.
A conversation for another day. Definitely. Let's not go deeper than the rabbit hole because I can talk about hours
about these kind of topics. Oh wow. Alright. Just to bring a little bit of closure to this first part,
if you want, I normally do this kind of like this and that questions. It's just a little bit like a game thingy.
Let me do one last question before doing that. Have you ever considered going back to Zimbabwe?
I mean, UK, clearly I think not. But to Zimbabwe, for example, like ever going back in there or are you planning to stay here in Greece?
Right now I don't see myself anywhere else. This feels like home. This feels like my base. I traveled a lot.
I love traveling. So as I get more settled, I hope to travel more outside of Greece too because there's so much to do here
and I love it. But I don't see myself living anywhere else. Even going back to Zimbabwe.
I love going back to visit. But also in Zimbabwe now I'm a foreigner. I feel like a foreigner. Even with some of my family.
I mean, they will embrace me and everything, but there's that whole, you know, so I don't feel as comfortable as I do here.
You know, some people might roll their eyes or say whatever, but no, I, right now, I don't see it.
My ideal would be that I can go back to Zimbabwe twice a year. That's cool. And not to the UK.
Unless for love. Of course, if I get married and my partner, my husband, has to move somewhere then yes, I would move for him.
But he better have a lot of money.
And not be British.
And not move to UK.
Cool. So just to do a little bit of this and that questions then.
Zimbabwean food or Greek food?
Both. Both. Yeah, they're both.
I thought about no.
I'm not going to offend anyone.
I love them both so much for different reasons.
You know, I'll probably say Greek because it's more variety. But Zimbabwean because it's home and it's so delicious.
No, both.
Nice. African music or European music?
African music. For life. I mean, European music is fun, but when you, when you know, it goes to your soul.
Same line. European clothes style or African clothes style? I mean, these incredible clothes.
I'm wearing African clothing right now, so I should say African, but I would probably say European.
So they're nice African pieces, but I like to neutralize them with European clothing.
OK, cool.
I was going to ask you Zimbabwean lifestyle or Greek lifestyle, but it seems to be like pretty close by.
Edho. Yes?
Greek is very close.
Lifestyle is very close. I think Greece wins only because they have the sea.
OK, nice.
And now the last one, weather in Zimbabwe, weather here, I'm curious about how it is.
Oh, that's hard. That's hard because Greece has snow, which I don't like.
But Zimbabwe has rain on my birth and it's cold during my birthday.
So for me, here during my birthday, I'm born in June, so it's hot here.
So, of course, this place wins because I can celebrate in the sun.
Oh, that's hard. Even when we get 30 something degrees and all that in Zimbabwe, it gets hot like that too.
I don't know. It's hard.
I'm going to say Greek only because I can have a nice warm birthday.
Sounds good. It doesn't snow too often either.
At least here in Greece. In Athens, you go to the north, yes, but snow here, like one weekend per year.
That's true. And also, to be fair, last point on the weather, in Zimbabwe, when it's rainy season, it rains a lot, a lot.
The whole day. I went to visit my mom for about 12 days last year and I think it rained for eight of those days.
So let's go with Greek weather because Zimbabwe, you drippin'.
Sounds good. I would say we try to do the second part of the episode, if you like, and we go a little bit more into the coach.
Actually, you introduce it there at some point, like the main character, energy, everything, so you can explain it a little bit more in detail.
Good. So we are back. Actually, as I said in the introduction of the episode, you are a coach and you do coach personally with calls with one-to-one.
You're kind of specialized in multiple parts as far as I could understand from the whole global context and the videos that I've been seeing.
One of the biggest ones is what you call the main character energy, at some point. What is it like? Not just for the audience, also a little bit for me, out of curiosity to understand it a little bit better.
And where does it come from? It's your own approach to a system or to?
Yeah. I mean, essentially. So I am a qualified coach. I did do a certification. At the time, I qualified in leadership.
This is around that time when I told you I was overweight. My hair was falling out and all of that stuff.
But main character energy is just, I always ask the question, if your life was a movie and you knew the happy ending that you wanted was coming.
I.e. your dreams will come true, your ideal life is there on the other side of this decision. What decision would you make knowing you can't fail?
So then I split up my main main character energy coaching into three parts. Self mastery, really getting to know, understand and accept yourself and how you work.
Because we're all different, not bad, just different lifestyle design. It's like, OK, so this is how I work. This is the kind of life that I want to live.
And then productivity. How can you be successful at that life and enjoy too? OK, so that's essentially my character energy is how can you live your ideal life in the most authentic way possible?
Nice. Sounds really interesting. And when did you start with that? So I qualified in 2019.
So it's been about five years now since I've had my qualification. And at that time, because I told you I was falling apart and I was dying.
So, I mean, could I go dying or being dramatic? But I worked on myself and I chose to decide, look, my life is better. I feel good.
I'm happy. I want everybody else to feel these feelings that I have. And people come to me for advice anyway. So, hey, why not make a business of it? Why not charging them? Why not?
It's true. I mean, because at the time I wanted to do my job and I didn't know where I wanted to go.
And I wanted to be a psychologist, if you remember, but I couldn't do psychology because of school and whatever.
So then coaching was the next best thing. And I also went to see a therapist and the therapist signed me off and she was like, come back when you know what you want.
So then I ended up falling to coaching to get what I needed. And so I thought, well, if coaching can help me, let me go out there and help other people.
So it's all because of my story. It's selfish, but I love it.
But it makes sense. I mean, at the end, if you had an objective back then to try to do psychology and because of reasons of life, you couldn't arrive to that.
And you find a way of entering this system and way of entering to help people and help people have a better life.
The end it's not that far away from being a psychologist. Exactly. Cool. Very nice.
And all of this came from from from a self system, like something that you built up for yourself, what comes from an inspiration of, like, some other coach or from some other system that you were a mixture.
So it's a mixture of my experiences. So I've actually one of the membership organizations that I work with for the productivity.
I did their productivity boot camp when I was very sick.
I paid like thousands of dollars to get into this course and it changed my life completely. And I was like obsessed with productivity and how because I got so successful at that same job where I was working sixteen hours.
I was now working less than 20 hours a week and they tripled my bonus because my productivity was that good.
So then I'm like, OK, so you can, you know, work the system, get paid well and have enough time to do the things that bring you joy.
And then I started figuring out, wait, but what brings me joy, but who am I? And then that's when I went down another path of self discovery.
So first I've got the productivity from these people and then I went into self discovery of what makes me happy.
And I realized how everybody's so different.
Then it's like, OK, let me get to know myself.
And through that, let me build the self mastery side of things.
And then it's like, well, lifestyle design by default.
So that's how I came to those three pillars. It's interesting because I met quite some people that got like, for example, reduction of time job.
For example, no, they don't work Fridays anymore or or they work part time suddenly instead of full time after so many years of working like 40 hours per week or similar ratios of times.
And then suddenly they don't know what to do with their time. Yes.
And it's a it's a common pattern, as I assume, like the people has been so focused in their professional life for so long that they don't have hobbies.
They don't know what they like. They don't try new things or they don't like really push themselves to try something new.
And I assume that's also one of the parts that you're touching with more this self discovery.
Yeah, in the sense of like, OK, start pushing out whatever you really enjoy doing.
You know, honestly, like that's exactly it.
Because there's also this guilt for those people who now have a free time when I started having free time I should be working.
I feel bad. This is not right. And I realized how it was unhealthy.
And so I went back into what brings me joy. Hey, I like climbing trees.
You know, call me monkey. Whatever. I love climbing trees.
I like walking around doing random stuff on a bus.
I also like trying out new hobbies, you know.
So then I started building this. OK, yeah, you know, it feels good to try.
OK, I don't like it now. I know it's not for me.
And then I also even made friends or strengthened my relationships with my friends by discovering shared activities, shared hobbies, whatever it is.
Even if it's just creating a TikTok dance video. Yes, I'm 35 years old almost. And my friend and I will spend an hour putting a TikTok dance together.
And for us, we're satisfied. Cost us nothing. We're indoors or we're at the park and it's nice and chilled.
But we feel good. We feel satisfied.
So then I started, you know, people like why are you so happy? Why are you always so happy and optimistic?
I'm like, because, you know, life is cool. But you're broke. Yeah, but I don't need money to be happy.
Yes, it helps. Yes, you know, I want money, of course.
But all that to say, find joy in the mundane or find joy in your every single day.
And all my friends started coming to me like, you've taught me how to relax, even my mom, actually.
You've taught me how to relax. You've taught me how to live life. You've taught me how to enjoy life.
And people kept saying this to me. You should teach other people.
And this is when I was dabbling with coaching.
So then I thought, OK, let me add that. Make it efficient.
So that's why lifestyle design is now there.
Because it's like, what does success and enjoyment look like for you?
Let's build that and get you there.
Have you ever had any customer who their mentality of success is only professional?
Oh, yeah. That's also a kind of pattern, no? I suppose.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Big time. And especially the membership that I work for, you have high achievers who are like that.
But then also when it comes to let's talk about people with similar backgrounds to me, where it's like, yeah, only success.
I don't have all the money. If I don't have the big house, if I can't pay for my whole family to go on holiday, if I can't, then I haven't made it.
You know, and they just can't get out of that mindset of you can be happy and successful without having to take those specific boxes.
Yes, those are nice to have. But what about the little things like having coffee with your husband in the morning and sitting for half an hour?
Or talking about shared goals and how can you the people that I work with, they inspire me really nicely, actually.
How can you they like to eat out, they like to travel. But how can you do that on a budget?
How can you have Spanish food at home? Make a fun challenge. Put some Spanish music, dress up.
You know, it's cheaper than going to a Spanish restaurant, make an omelet, Spanish tortilla, three eggs and some onion and potatoes.
Cheaper impossible. I guess I did it. And get a Spanish friend. Then you hang out with them.
You know, how can you creatively tap into the things that bring you joy and also romanticize the mundane?
You know, so that that's the sort of mindset I get because I like things. I'm not going to lie to you. I like things. I like nice things.
My budget is not going to allow me to have nice things at this moment. So I've got to be creative about it.
And that's also why I started teaching people to do it.
And it's not always like not always pleasures, I assume, are coming only for having nice things or expensive things.
Simple things can bring joy. I suppose it's part of understanding or like re-realizing that something as simple as watching a movie with your partner or like something without needing to pay absolutely anything for doing that.
It's OK. Or you're doing a TikTok video and it's good enough. It's more than good enough.
I'll tell you one of my favorite things to do, you see this chair? So, guys, there's a rocking chair there with a footstool.
You see it's next to the door because I just lift it up. I take it outside. I go and I sit there.
My legs are playing music and I just relax instead. I actually schedule on my calendar horizontal time. Feet up and just relax and it just brings me joy.
Sometimes music, sometimes I do coloring. My friend got me a coloring book, which is just fun for me.
And I know some people are like, oh my God, that's boring. But find your version of what that looks like.
I'm a designer, so I would go for the coloring book all the fucking time.
Spend a lot of our sketching stuff and we're doing a lot of woodwork also.
Oh, nice. That's pretty cool. I'd love to do hobbies like that as well.
Or just even finding friends who do it because then we're hanging out like, hey, I'll bring the drinks or I'll bring the food. Let's do stuff with wood.
And then you just learn some basics and you have fun. You're socializing. You're meeting new people and you're not.
You know, there's this stigma around we have to have money to be able to do the things we love.
Money helps and like I said, I'll have it. But how can you get creative about that?
When you don't have it.
What about the time when it comes to productivity? Because a lot of people understand productivity.
And I think it's I actually had this conversation with my parents and with my dad not so long ago about.
People understanding productivity with being eight hours in front of a computer in a normal office job, actually.
You are forced to because you're in the office, but it's not the real productivity. You never work eight hours per day.
It's literally impossible. And the measurement and the accomplishments of the company are never related to you.
You really working this 40 hours, they are related to you doing your job properly.
Is that a problem of us? From your point of view, of course, like from your expertise,
it's not a problem of us or it's not a problem of the system itself that we cannot really change.
Because even if you coach someone to tell them, hey, productivity can increase like this.
If they are forced to be in an office eight hours per day, they are forced to be there.
So they lose this part of time anyway. Like how do you deal with that?
So the organization I work with, actually, Lifehack, they're pretty cool. That's who I learned from.
And you get so good at being productive, at getting the results and doing the things with leverage
that you end up having leverage to be able to reduce your hours.
So in the end, my manager was like, I don't care when you work. I don't care where you work from.
This, this, and this is what I need to be done. So you need to build the trust, first of all.
And even if you are stuck at work, because productivity, I think, gosh, I'm going to butcher it.
But I think it's like four hours a day is the max how much you can be productive.
So let's say you productive, you do your results, you do what you need to do for four hours.
For the other four hours, do just, if you can't leave the office, just scroll on random sites or like.
See how you can either make a job more efficient, more fun, tidy up your desk, go have a long coffee.
Like, you know, get creative, make it sexy, as they would say.
Like just it's not the most ideal if you're in one of those jobs where you can't leave.
I think people does it. And are they being productive or are they just being bored and avoidant?
That's the main thing. Like at the end, you take long breaks of coffee and you go to downstairs
with the people who smoke, even if you don't smoke, because you're forced to be there eight hours,
even if you have finished your job, like four hours ago.
If you're a productive person, if you are just like a person who are not producing and ends being bored
because the job that you are doing, you don't know how to do it in a productive way.
You also end not working eight hours.
So it feels for me it feels like the whole concept of like everyone working eight hours by default,
by law, like let's say like these and by contract fix and everything.
And if you want to reduce your hours is that your expenses with less salary feels weird.
Because if I'm doing my job properly, correctly and here you're paying less to me,
but you're winning the same amount of money.
Exactly. I do agree. I think full time should actually be classed as 20 hours per week.
I think that's more than enough for you to do the leverage stuff to give your employer the results
without capping the money, like you say. I think that should be it.
But if you're stuck somewhere where you can't get out after the 20 hours,
how can you, you know, take advantage of the rest?
It's still like a like a very like let's say like an advantage that someone who works in an office
in front of a computer can deal with.
But if you deal with, I don't know, operators of machinery in a chain of productivity
and your job is like operating eight hours a machine and you cannot leave that machine
because it needs you in front of it. That person is really stuck in there.
Like their productivity is very capped to not match because their productivity is really then very
very binded on these eight hours of this machine working constantly. That one, yes. So with clients who are like that,
we also have, you know, I've worked with a couple of nurses and that sort of thing myself in my business.
And you can't reduce those hours. Fine. But how can you make it just slightly better?
How can you get a little bit more cushioning on your chair? How can you make your shoes a little bit more comfortable?
How can you wear a perfume that makes you feel good? You know, all these little things,
they contribute to your mental health and how you feel and what your relationship with your job is.
So even if you're there for eight hours, like for me, for example, you know, sometimes I will have
11, no, 10 hours of coaching calls with a break in between or so. But 10 hours essentially of back to back to back to back.
And people are like, oh my gosh, how do you do that? But like, you know, I set myself up a nice little place.
I have a view of the sea, the sunset with some calls. You know, I can have a nice chilled drink.
So I romanticize my day. I bring joy into the mundane. So you can't reduce it.
If you're as productive as you can be with the time you have and your KPIs, how can you then romanticize it?
So you move into the lifestyle design related to self-mastery.
So it's a part of also like with the self-mastery, at the end, it's a part of loving yourself somehow.
But with the productivity, it also enters a part of like trying to enjoy as much as possible your profession or your day to day job at the end.
Yeah, and not just loving, but actually knowing, understanding yourself.
I can love myself, but maybe I don't know that after 27 minutes, I can't deal anymore. I've had enough.
But when I understand that, hey, this is what my character does, then I'll say, OK, well, at 27 minute mark,
I'll make sure I walk to the kitchen, play a song, get some nuts to refresh the energy.
Or in those three minutes gap, I'll call my mom and tell her a joke or call a friend
and send them anything to bring a little bit of joy and make it feel worthwhile.
Because then also for you, when you're working in that blog, you have something to look forward to.
You're like, well, I'm going to get a little bit of joy in 27 minutes, and then that time comes and you do whatever brings you joy.
Cool. Sounds interesting.
How about this part of like how fast people adapt to these kind of things? That's what I meant.
Because I suppose you work with people who are interested in this kind of methodology from the very scratch.
They have a very lifestyle mark or defined lifestyle.
How difficult is it for the people that you coach to start changing their way of doing things?
It depends. I'll probably say it depends on age and stage.
I have some. I spoke to someone actually who has been at the game for about a year and a half.
And only now they're starting to have holidays for themselves, starting to relax, starting to enjoy,
starting to leave work at work instead of taking it home.
So it can take a while. It can take you a while to adapt to it,
but it just depends on how ingrained your old habit is, how ready you are to change and also how much massive action you take.
Because, you know, it's uncomfortable. You know, change is uncomfortable for everybody.
So it's like, how can you normalize that discomfort as quick as possible?
How can you regulate your nervous system?
That's where you see these people doing cold showers or cold water therapy, cold exposure.
You see people doing embodiment work. I do a lot of that.
Dancing, yoga, moving your body, going for a walk in nature, grounding yourself.
All these things quickly help normalize.
There's a book that I really like. It's called The Big Leap.
Once you, essentially in summary, once you reach the upper limit,
i.e. your level of what success and that looks like, yes it feels good,
but you can self-sabotage to go back to old habits.
And so it's like, how can you quickly normalize that?
How do you calm your nervous system? There's so many ways.
And so you find what works for you.
Some people will do the EFT tapping, some people do yoga, meditation,
moving your throat chakra, socializing, laughing. So many things.
So that's why self-mastery is a big piece of what I do, because I could teach you anything.
But if that doesn't resonate with how you are, then it's just a waste of your time and my time.
I mean, people need to be in a mentality of willing to be doing that.
I suppose it's not that you work with people who are coming out of the blue
because someone is forcing them to do that.
We have those, too.
It's just more difficult to work with them.
Yes, it's a bit more difficult and also I don't believe that it's possible.
So I think even if you're at a point where you're thinking,
"I want to change my life, but I don't see how," start collecting evidence that it's possible.
Start meeting people who live a life similar to what you want and get some advice from them.
So this main character energy, it's not always like…
I mean, you use the movie scene because I suppose it's easy to resonate to something or someone
that you idealize from a movie, for example, or from a character, from a cartoon or whatever.
But you could also use someone who you know, like someone from your family,
someone who is a role idea for you.
Yeah, we use a role model.
So that's actually what I used to do.
Sometimes I do it not so much now, but when I'm planning my week, my time, whatever,
I have something I call "Friends of the Month."
So I will say, "Okay, you know what?
This particular month, I like what Oprah's done with her life story.
So I'm really going to resonate and lean into that Oprah energy as much as possible."
You know, and just for a while, like, "What would Oprah do?" or "What would Rihanna do?"
Or, you know, some of the people that I like.
"What would Beyonce do? I'm not going to lie. I like these people."
You know, and just, "What would Dwayne Johnson do?"
And just lean into that character's energy.
Or my favorite genre of movie.
Okay, what would that character be doing right now?
Maybe it's not the right decision, but that's what will make me feel good,
and that's what I believe is going to get me to that result.
Sounds interesting.
I was just thinking on bad characters to choose, actually.
Hey, that's the character that motivates you, go for it.
Suddenly choosing someone really, really bad from a very bad movie.
What's his name? Voldemort.
Exactly, Lord Voldemort.
Suddenly, like, only respecting pure-blood people.
Whatever, like, it can't go worse.
Like, you can go historically and start picking people from Nazi movies,
and then you have a problem.
Yeah, let's not. I like to hope that that's not you.
Let's maintain it only on Disney. Okay.
No, but I mean, some people, I doubt.
I've never found that, but if I find someone who tends to be on that darker side...
Nobody wants to be a villain.
Push therapy.
Nobody chooses a villain.
I want to be Cruella the Beel.
No, no. No one has ever wanted to be a villain.
Everyone just wants to be happy and free.
Everyone wants to be a hippie.
What is the most common motivation for people who come to you asking for help?
Most common motivation or drive.
I would say the thing that drives them to come is they've had enough, they're tired.
You know, a bit like me where I was clearly overwhelmed and sick,
and something had to change before my health took over.
So a lot of the people, they've had enough,
and they're desperate and ready, willing and ready to try.
Okay.
That's the biggest one, and I find the more I share my story as well on socials,
people see it and think, "Ah, there's a bit of fresh air, I want, I want, I want."
So they also come to me like, "Hey, I can see that you are happier than you were
when this, this, this happened. Can you help me?"
It's really frustrating.
How much is now with...
You are pretty active on social media and YouTube and YouTube videos, you do interviews.
You have a pretty large YouTube channel actually like that.
Okay.
Also Instagram, I think you do quite a lot of videos.
How much is part of your job to do this like,
promote a little bit the coaching that you do through these channels?
You know what? To be honest with you, I actually haven't promoted in a very long time.
At the moment, it's either word of mouth, it's either through the organization,
and I'm doing a lot of speaking.
So people are coming to me to speak,
and by the time I get paid for speaking, it covers what I need.
And so most of what I'm posting now on social media and when I get back on YouTube,
it's more from the inspiration side, it's more from, "Hey, this helps me, this might help you."
So it's less of, because I went through a time when I first started my business where I was like,
"Ah, I need to promote, who's my ideal client, they need to know the reach."
And then there was that desperate energy, and I lost that mission of,
"Hey, I just want people to be happy and successful."
So now that I'm a little bit more stable, I can create from a place of,
"This is my story, and hopefully this can inspire you. This is what I've learned, and hopefully this can inspire you."
So it's not that much of a marketing tool for you, it's just like...
No.
Influencing. I don't want to call it influencer, but share experience.
Yeah, I don't desire to be an influencer. I make jokes about it like, "I'm an influencer, but I don't..."
Yeah, me too.
But I don't want to be an influencer at all. I just want to inspire, and as cheesy as it sounds,
I just want to make people happy. I just want people to be happy.
And if you don't make me happy, go do your thing your way, let me go do mine.
But I just want people to just chill and live a little.
Yes, life is crap, it's always going to be crap, it's always going to be something we want to change,
but how can you make it just a little bit less crap?
Sounds nice.
And that's simply it. I know people are like, "Oh, you're naive, you don't know much about life."
And I know there are problems and challenges, but also within your remit, how can you...
Sorry, I have to say, into an image of two countries that you don't know about life. Sorry.
Oh, I can, trust me, I can tell you some stories about my life.
I walked in on my bus saying, "Oh, we've hired someone from an impoverished background,
so please feel sorry for her and be nice to her."
I have seen my fair share of toughness, but it's like you've got to pick which battles are you going to have,
which fights are you going to have, and instead let him think I'm impoverished.
Okay, let me take advantage of him feeling sorry for me.
You know, like twist it. Twist it and make it happy for you.
Because we all have different theories as to why we're on this revolving ball called Earth.
Just live that theory. Do what you can within your means, but don't get to the end of your life
having the biggest regret that people have.
"Oh, I wish I'd lived my life more. I wish I'd lived my truth more."
Start living that now. That's what inspired me, to be honest, that video of "I wish I'd lived my life more.
I wish I'd lived my truth more," you know, that dying, the regret of the dying kind of thing.
But let me not go into a tangent, because once I start, it's going to be another half hour.
So I wanted just to ask you for a very crazy experience that I saw in your YouTube channel,
maybe just to close the episode, a little bit like, I saw you did the meditation.
Vipassana.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you tell us a little bit of what it is and what experience was that?
Because, yeah.
As, I mean, I watched the video. If you didn't watch it, watch it.
But you were meditating for 10 hours per day.
Yeah.
And not talking with anyone for, how long, two months?
Yeah, 10 days. I've done the 10-day one. I don't know if I would do the 30-day one.
There is a month one, no?
Yeah, there's a month one.
Wow.
So it's a 10-day silent retreat. And the idea is just silence your thoughts.
Or, like, not even silence your thoughts, but be at one with your thoughts, flow with it,
and just be okay knowing that everything is permanent.
You know, even if you feel pain in your body, it's like,
okay, that's uncomfortable. That's gonna go. Just sit with it.
The reason I did it is because I'm an over thinker.
I know we have many over thinkers and people pleases out there.
And I just needed to slow down my brain.
I needed to reconnect to, wait, what matters to me?
You know, and I came out of the very clear with, this is what for my mother, for my brother,
I knew specifically what actions I needed to take from it.
The beginning of it was very difficult. It's not for everyone.
Some people are actually not allowed to do it.
They have a very rigid, like, clarification process of,
do you have issue of mental health, this, this, this, that, that.
But you eat clean food, so you're cleaning your system.
You know, the whole detox thing we were talking about earlier.
So you clean your system and then you clean your thoughts as much as possible
and just learn to, for me, I was going to quieten my mind
and to just reconnect to who am I, what's next, where am I going?
You're not allowed to talk to other people.
No, no.
Are you allowed to go to the middle of the mountain and shout?
No.
So it's a silent reading in the sense that you cannot open your mouth.
You cannot write, you said?
Yep, you can't write, you can't read, so you don't have pen and paper.
You just have to stop and be.
And that's why it can be dangerous because people can have mental breakdowns.
I need to write in your pen.
The only time that we, you could talk, I didn't need to,
but when you go and see the...
Oh, what's his name?
The guy who leads it, I forgot what, the monk.
I forgot what he's called, to be honest.
That's how much I know about it.
But you go see him and ask him your questions
or tell him what you're going through.
That's pretty much it.
I had spinal surgery and I had to go and see him because,
like, sitting down for 10 hours was starting to hurt my back.
And so I had to get a special chair done.
But other than that, no talking.
It's intense.
It's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
You come out with a sense of peace because we went to Marco Polo,
which is up in the mountains.
And so you just have a beautiful view and it's quiet.
You hear the birds, the cats and dogs,
and all of your own true that stuff.
Like, it was just...
I talk even when I sleep, so...
Me too!
I don't know if I would last more than two days, to be honest.
I think you can do it for a day as well.
You can try it out for a day.
Because I also do things like I take time to intentionally stop,
you know, put away my phone, because all that noise,
you don't connect to yourself and you don't know what your truth is.
You don't know what you want to do.
So sometimes I switch off my phone.
I'll go for a day where I won't talk to friends.
I grind my jaw at night, so sometimes my mouth hurts.
So I go through a day where I'm like, I don't feel like talking.
I'm not going to talk to anyone, and I'll just stop and relax.
So for me, ten days was like, "Ah, at least I have some peace."
I don't need to look at my phone notifications, nothing.
It was amazing.
Highly recommend.
Respect!
Well, I think we should be closing the episode time-wise, I would say.
But before that, maybe if you want to use the channel
to just promote a little bit your Instagrams, your YouTube coaching sessions,
wherever they can find you.
I'll take it.
I'll look at the camera, I'll look at the camera, I'll look at you.
Well, to be honest, I would probably say the best places.
Connect with me on either Instagram or YouTube, @taniarosecoach.
And also, I run my own channels, so I want to hear from you.
Message me, tell me what you want to see, what questions you're having,
what challenges you're having.
If you want to work with me, keep an eye.
I have a Main Character Energy Masterclass that comes out once a month,
every so often, and we can just help you define
what Main Character Energy looks like for you, very low cost.
And it's a free Masterclass for the membership that I work for.
But otherwise, I'm Tanya Rose Coach on all platforms, and I want to connect.
You got it.
Oh, promotion done!
Thank you, I appreciate that.
That's why I also do, like, this podcast, it's about you explaining your experience,
but it's also people connecting, at the end.
As I always say, people who are going to pass through similar experiences
that you passed or that I passed, best way of doing the step is to talk with people
who have been in that position before you.
And that's why I do this podcast, and therefore, that's why I do it.
Thank you, it's been so great.
I've actually really enjoyed talking to you, more than I expected.
I mean, I expected it to be cool, but it was awesome.
Thanks so much.
I need to thank you for the time, for the space, for allowing us to record in your place
and for this amazing talk, and thanks for accepting the invitation.
Anytime, thank you, it's been a pleasure.
This is Expat Experts.
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