Here For the Memories
A thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories, humor, anecdotes, and commentary on social, cultural, business, and religious issues. Whatever Linden remembers and thinks will entertain, challenge, and inform is a possible subject.
Here For the Memories
From Lawnmowers to Practical Jokes: Tales from My Quirky Job History
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Ever wondered how mowing lawns and stoking furnaces could shape a career path? Join me, Linden Wolfe, on a journey through my eclectic work history in this rib-tickling episode of "Here for the Memories." From the quirks of Miss Brown, who insisted on calling me "Leland," to the unexpected gift that came with a valuable lesson in resourcefulness, you'll laugh and maybe even learn something from my early days. I share how a measly $10 check became a ticket to college life, and you'll hear all about my antics at Krystal, where my practical jokes were more memorable than my burgers.
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Here For the Memories
Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir shorts filled with stories , humor , anecdotes and commentary on social , cultural , business and religious issues . Whatever Linden remembers and thinks will entertain , challenge and inform is a possible subject . The collection of memories about one's life allows for the development and refinement of a sense of self , including who one is , how one has changed and what one might be like in the future .
Linden WolfeGreetings and salutations . This is Linden Wolfe , and welcome to my podcast here . For the memories You've heard of the show about nothing . I'm sure you have Seinfeld . This is the story of my career path to nowhere .
Linden WolfeI have worked for as long as I can remember . It was at 12 that I started mowing lawns with my dad's much-needed assistance . It was about that time I began to stoke Miss Brown's furnace . During the winters and they were truly much colder back then For the uninitiated stoking a furnace requires shoveling spades of coal from a large mound into a subfloor furnace . I also mowed her lawn during the warmer months .
Linden WolfeMiss Brown was an ornery old spinster who was too mean to die and she lived with her widowed sister , miss Schultz . In all the years I worked for her , miss Brown never got my name correct . She called me Leland . Miss Brown never got my name correct . She called me Leland , l-e-e-l-a-n-d . Never Linden , but Leland .
Linden WolfeWhen I went away to college , she demonstrated unusual generosity by offering me a small check to offset my costs . While attempting to fill out that check , she asked how I spelled my name and I , with outstanding enunciation , spelled out L-I-N-D-E-N . She twisted her head , snarled like Billy Idol and , in her wicked Witch of the West voice muttered . I've never heard Leland spelled like that before . I said nothing but thanks and headed to the Home Federal Savings and Loan to immediately cash my $10 check $10 , mind you All the while hoping the bank would deposit it with someone else's name on it , and they did . Now I had enough money to buy 40 crystals at the going rate of $0.25 apiece , and that's where my first real job was at Crystal , by the way , that's where I cooked greasetals and greaseburgers as they were affectionately called by those thrust from the Knoxville bar scene at the 3 am mandatory closing time . It was the only place open at that godforsaken hour and the patrons were a scene out of Animal House . This memory always reminds me of the song from Semi-Sonic called Closing Time . Closing time . One last call for alcohol , so finish your whiskeyosing Time . Closing time . One last call for alcohol , so finish your whiskey or beer . Closing time . You don't have to go home , but you can't stay here , so gather up your jackets , move it to the exits . I hope you have found a friend . Closing time . Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings in .
Linden WolfeAnyway , at Crystal I was known for more of my antics and practical jokes than my industriousness or ambition , of course . For example , when I wasn't cooking , I took out the trash . Drive-thrus had just been invented , so ours wasn't in a place where the order taker could see the vehicle . So as I pushed the trash can on each respective trip , I ran over the cable that alerted the clerk that a customer had arrived . On each successive route to the dumpster , I would throw my voice and call in massive orders 74 crystals please , 62 cheeseburgers . My replacement cook was then forced to work feverishly on orders that had nowhere to go and were put under the heat lamp . So by the time I finished with the trash , I was stockpiled with burgers and didn't need to cook anymore for some time . That is until I got caught .
Linden WolfeI probably had , with my 10th grade education , the most credentials of the entire staff . Well , one assistant manager , a degree chemist , did , but he was fired for stealing french fries . He was also accused of forging the store manager's signature on orders of pickles and diced onions . Eek , awful . Susan Burbank worked with me and she was cute , but she had absolutely no interest in me whatsoever . When I finally got a car a 1967 cut with Sierra that had no brakes and topped out at about 37 miles per hour . I became a Crystal legend , except for my friend Jeff Turner , who preceded me and was the model employee at Crystal who drove a new Datsun 240Z , purchased with his Crystal bullion . I always hated that . I liked him . I always hated that . I liked him . Seriously , jeff was a wonderful person whose presence is woven throughout my life narrative , from the first grade until he attended my mother's funeral . I have fond memories of him and his friendship .
Linden WolfeNow back to my career path to nowhere . Then there was a job at the Revco Pharmacy , where I would occasionally and illicitly confiscate damaged six-packs of malt liquor that I kept in the trunk of my car . For unknown reasons , I was voted the worst employee ever at this historic store . I also worked and that's a euphemism at a dairy and for a lunch program for disadvantaged children . At both I continue to distinguish myself as infinitely ineligible for rehire , but to my credit , I never missed a day of non-working . So I was at least dependable .
Linden WolfeSo all my early jobs were a foreboding of my future career prospects . Is that true of you ? What did you learn as your neophyte career was taking shape ? Can you see evidence of your early work in your current occupation ? I hope so , because I believe our earliest jobs helped to shape the workers we become . So take some time and take inventory of the jobs you have held , no matter how long , how awful or how menial . There are lessons to be learned there . Until you stop by again here at here for the Memories , this is Linden Wolfe reminding you to remind yourself of your own invaluable history .
