004 - Finding Your Purpose Part 4

In this episode, we explore why your sense of purpose might disappear and how to reclaim it, or find it if you’ve never had it.

Losing your sense of purpose is more common than you think, often triggered by significant life changes like job transitions, family dynamics, relocation, or unexpected events. We’ll discuss how these changes impact your sense of purpose and what you can do to rediscover it.

We’ll outline six key steps: values, passion, exploration, reflection, goals, and action. While these steps are helpful, real progress often requires support from a network of friends, family, or a coach.

I’ll share tips on choosing the right coach, emphasising the importance of feeling safe and supported. If you’re ready to find your purpose and think I could help, reach out and take that first step towards a meaningful life.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to this fourth episode of Exploring Life with Purpose. It's Mel here from Mel Harrowsmith Coaching and in this episode we'll be looking at why purpose disappears and how to get your sense of purpose back or how to find your purpose if you feel you've never had it. Feeling like you have no purpose or you've lost your sense of purpose is actually more common than you might think. One day you are motivated, excited, passionate and the next boom existential crisis. A lack of purpose usually happens when something changes and you're finding it difficult to adapt to the change. You might get some warning that change is on the way or it might be completely unexpected. It might occur slowly over time, creeping into your life like rising damp. You can experience a loss of purpose at any time and most of us will experience at least one and I've had several so far. Big life changes don't necessarily equal an existential crisis but if the change isn't aligned with your sense of purpose then it may become an issue. There are multiple events that can destabilise your sense of purpose and leave you reeling. Some typical ones are big life changes, changing jobs, starting a family, children flying the nest, moving to a new city or country and sudden events like being made redundant or being fired, illness, relationships ending, bereavement, even national or global incidents such as pandemics or a financial crash. If you've experienced something similar then you may have lost your purpose along the way. So what can you do to find it again? Here are six steps to reconnect you with your sense of purpose. Values, passion, explore, reflect, goals and action. So in a bit more detail, understand what your values are, what are your core principles and beliefs, understand what gives you passion, what are you good at and what piques your interest, explore new things to discover new passions and interests, reflect on what you found inspiring and energising in the past, what have you found depleting and harmful, set goals that are meaningful to you and that align with your values and action. The first step is to take one, even a small step can be a giant leap forwards. Okay let's just pause for a second, did you actually hear what I did there? I just did what you can find on the internet on a daily basis, I just gave you a set of do this to change your life bullet points. If you're thinking oh come on Mel it's not very original is it? Then I agree absolutely. The internet and self-help books are full of five steps to this and 10 things to do to get you there, but if it was as simple as reading or listening to a set of steps then you'd be doing whatever it is by now wouldn't you? The funny thing is you already know the answer, you already know what your sense of purpose is and what to do about finding it. The problem is for whatever reason you can't access it, something somewhere is blocking you from accessing the inner wisdom you already have. Now you might be thinking oh don't be ridiculous Mel, if I already had the answers then why am I listening to this? And the answer is because there are myriad cultural societal and self-placed rocks that have been put in the way and they are blocking your access to your purpose. So if you're struggling to find a sense of purpose, if you're feeling lost and overwhelmed, these punchy little five or ten step soundbites are unlikely to solve the problem on their own because the rocks stop you from taking the first steps and getting through to your purpose. However if something, anything in these soundbites makes you cock an ear and think or there is a little flutter of recognition then these bullet points and step lists, whatever it may be, can be the first small step towards the rest of your fulfilling life. Exploring these six steps might be a brilliant starting point and help you recognise that you are lacking purpose and they might inspire you to take the next step in which case that is fantastic. But exploring your sense of purpose or lack of it on your own when you're in the midst of a purpose black hole can be really difficult which is why for most of us being given a set of instructions is unlikely to result in a miraculous discovery of purpose. I do know someone who has been able to get themselves back on track and found their purpose on their own. Well to be honest I know one person who has done it and it was not me. When I lost my sense of purpose and it's happened a few times what worked for me was having the right people in my corner. We all, me included, have had or need guidance and support to get us back on track and fulfilling our sense of purpose and this might be true for you. Particularly if your tank is pretty empty, your confident is absent without leave and the path ahead is completely obscured by rocks. If you really want to explore what your purpose is and how to find it or reclaim it, get yourself the right people who are going to support you and help you get there. Your group might be friends, might be family, might be colleagues. I think it's easy to assume that our loved ones are in our tribe by default and I do think most of our loved ones do want the best for us but they can find it difficult to put their own fears and their own opinions to one side to fully support you the way you may need supporting. So you might decide that a more neutral party will provide the guidance you need to find your purpose. Coaching is a tried and tested way to bring you back to a sense of purpose and get you living again and choosing the right coach is really really important. All coaches will use variations on the same tools and have similar skill sets to offer you a great coaching experience. So what is it you really need to be looking for? You might need to know that a coach is credible which might mean the coach is trained and certified. I am by the way just you know in case you were wondering or you might look for glowing testimonials or a referral from someone whose opinion you value. Any decent coach will also offer you an introductory chat so you and the coach can see if you can work together and I would encourage you to make use of that. It's so important that you feel safe and supported through your coaching sessions. So if you want support to work on finding your purpose choose a coach that feels right, someone your instinct tells you you can work with. If you'd like support to find your purpose and live a meaningful and fulfilled life and you feel I might be the coach for you then I would love to help you. So drop me a message and take that first step towards life with purpose.