Growth Drivers

From Soft to Savage The Ultimate Wake Up Call for Men

• Mike & Rachael Novak • Episode 13

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CHAPTERS:
0:04 Introduction to Growth Drivers Podcast
0:28 From Soft to Savage
1:20 The Wake-Up Call for Men
3:16 The Complacency Trap
4:50 The Cycle of Numbing
6:49 The Path to Awakening
9:36 Comfort vs. Growth
12:36 Vulnerability and Connection
17:19 The Importance of Brotherhood
20:17 Finding Your Purpose
23:05 Spiritual Awakening
26:18 Key Elements of Transformation
28:26 Bringing Your Spouse Along
31:50 Final Words for Transformation

In this episode of the Growth Drivers Podcast, we explore the vital topic of men reclaiming their inner warrior in the face of societal pressures. 

Through a discussion anchored in Mark Twain's poignant quote about unfulfilled lives, we examine how many men find themselves trapped in a cycle of complacency despite outward success. 

We delve into the emotional struggles that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms and stress the importance of intentional living and vulnerability in relationships.

Together with Rachael, we emphasize the role of brotherhood and mentorship in fostering accountability, while also highlighting the transformative power of spirituality. 

The episode serves as a call to action for men to confront their challenges, pursue growth, and support each other in achieving a fulfilling life.




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Mike Novak:

Men that make all the money, that have everything that everyone else wants, they all have figured this code out.

Rachael Novak:

I think most people out there believe that there's some sort of like path.

Mike Novak:

This is your standard. Exactly. Right? This is what you should be expecting out of a man. Welcome to the Growth Drivers Podcast, the show where we break down the leadership frameworks, mindset shifts, and strategies that fuel entrepreneurial success, personal transformation, and business breakthroughs.

Rachael Novak:

I'm Rachel Novak.

Mike Novak:

And I'm Mike Novak.

Rachael Novak:

Let's dive in and start driving your growth.

Mike Novak:

From soft to savage, the ultimate wake-up call for men. That's what we're talking about today. Kind of a male-specific topic, but ladies, this is one you should definitely listen into as well. You might get a better idea of what's going on in that crazy-ass mind of your husband or significant other, and it might be something you want to send his way as well.

Rachael Novak:

I was going to say, ladies, share this one. This is a, the, the topic is important for both of you. Yeah. And if, if you're like, we'll get to it, but if you're wanting to wake some, some dudes up in your life, send the shit to them right now.

Mike Novak:

Yeah. It's going to be good. So anyways, this is growth driver podcast. It's Mike and Rachel Novak, of course, coming back to you again as we do each and every week. Our coaching company is now live, the warrior agent coaching.com. Check it out. We've got some awesome programs in there. Rachel's going to be helping the females out in short order i've got you fellows on my side um to do some epic shit in life not just in business but in body and balance and having it all it's fucking awesome so but the topic at hand is men and men falling asleep and how do we go from, fucking asleep and soft to hard-ass warrior that is just a fucking king of the kingdom right, so the quote that got the soul started i'm going to share this quotes from mark twain is that men die most men die when they're 27 we just don't bury them till they're 72 and that fucking hit me so hard i was like oh my god this is like where so many guys are at right and and the reason that guys are here there's like so many for it right but so many dudes are fucking lost they're not necessarily at 27 years old but they're stuck they're complacent they're coasting they're asleep.

Rachael Novak:

So that, I mean, that quote, you kind of went over it quick. Most men die at 27. We don't bury them till they're 72. Right. They're asleep at the wheel. They are not engaged in their highest purpose in this life. Right.

Mike Novak:

And so why does this happen? Right? Like that, that's really the question to start with. And, you know, whether it happens at 27 or 35 or 45 doesn't really matter. Um, we've all heard of this concept of a midlife crisis. That's often what people are actually describing when they're talking about men having this experience, but you're, you've probably got a career that you've been in for a while now. Um, you know, you're making good money. You've got a house. Maybe you've got kids, you're married, you've got the cars. You have what society told you you wanted and what you thought you needed, but then all of a sudden you look around and you're pretty fucking empty, right? You're not really that happy. You may even feel trapped. Yeah, you're like, this is actually, this feels like a prison. Yes. Right? And so what the fuck am I doing? What do I really want? And how am I going to get out of this and actually feel alive again as a man, right? And that's what this really is. so but the society has taught us that it's these are the things we want right and and that if you've got these things that you're winning and the reality is we know that a lot of them actually aren't winning when they get these things they're just now enslaved to the fucking process.

Rachael Novak:

Well exactly i mean like what what are especially americans right what are we taught that uh you go to college you get a debt you then get a job and you pay off the debt and then you get married and you have babies and you get into a house and you get a car or a boat or a trailer or whatever for all this fun and you have all this debt and you're just working just to pay this debt and then trying to manage this relationship and then raising these kids and trying to go to work and doing these things and feeling empty inside all of it because now all of these things that you were told would make you happy, we were told is what is fulfilling and purpose-driven and what everybody should want in their life. Probably isn't what you want in your life.

Mike Novak:

Right. And for a lot of guys too, like they're at a stalemate in their marriage, you know, like their, their wife is not the person that they were dating, right. That fun, flirty energy is gone. Now there's the reality of children and responsibility and soccer practice and all this other bullshit that gets in the way of that spark and that passion that existed. And they kind of just start to drift apart a little bit, you know, and men feel that and like, I mean, I don't know what to do about this. You know what I mean? And And so that's also going on oftentimes.

Rachael Novak:

So, I mean, at that point, because I don't think that we're saying that, like, they don't want the woman, they don't want the kids. But what's happening is they are now living life on autopilot, right? And now they're.

Mike Novak:

How did I get here? Right. Like, how did that fun, amazing, romantic relationship that was so carefree and joy turn into this? You know what I mean? Like, where we never have sex anymore. We don't even look at each other. We can barely stand even being in the same fucking room. You know, like this is where a lot of dudes are at. This is why the fucking divorce rate is 50%, right? Because that's the reality of how things go. Like life starts to happen unless you're intentional about it not happening, right?

Rachael Novak:

So do you think this is why a lot of men fall to vices?

Mike Novak:

Yeah, this is where booze and weed and porn start to come into men's life, where they need like something to make them feel good, right? And these like dopamine hits, these highs they're getting, they temporarily bring them to that kind of peak, that mountaintop that they feel awesome for. But they really quickly realize within a few hours that it's not permanent, right? This is just a temporary feeling and it's not something that's going to be lasting and that makes them feel even fucking worse. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because now they feel shameful too, right?

Rachael Novak:

So now they're in this cycle of, okay, I'm living this life. I'm supposed to be happy. I don't feel that passion that happy that purpose driven mission oriented fire that I want to feel now I'm numbing it with vices and now I'm ashamed because of these vices and it's like this cycle right they get caught in

Mike Novak:

And the biggest problem is the dude that's listening to this and they're like I'm not that guy. Right. Like they're asleep.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah. You're fucking asleep.

Mike Novak:

They're actually like, like so out of touch with themselves that they're lying. Like I'm not that person. You know what?

Rachael Novak:

I don't have any problems. Right. Yeah.

Mike Novak:

I'm fine. Okay. Sure, man. Yeah, I get that. You know? So the question becomes then like, how do you wake up? Right. Like how do you get out of this just nasty place? Like in, in coaching, you know, we talk about this pit to peak process that to get to the top of another peak, you have to descend into this pit, which is lower than the peak you're currently on. Right. And so in life, this looks like the pit or the peak was like dating and having fun and making money. And then you've descended in this fucking pit that is just stuck. Right. It's just this like prison that you're in, that you don't know how to get out to climb to the next peak. And so the first step of climbing out is to wake the fuck up. Right. And a lot of times this happens from traumatic events or it happens from someone that really fucking cares about you and sees that blind spot calling you out on it and getting you to say, Hey, wake the fuck up, mic you know what i mean yeah.

Rachael Novak:

So like i mean what kind of person does this or what kind of event happens that like jolts somebody awake

Mike Novak:

Unfortunately the traumatic events are are usually extremely disastrous it's like you know a spouse leaving them it's the loss of somebody significant in your life that you'll never get back again like it's something big that just that shakes a man to their core you know what i'm saying and then the other side of it if you've got brothers like guys that really care about you that you know are fully awake and they see you asleep and they call you out on that shit that's the best gift anyone can ever give you you know but that's really hard and really rare i think yeah and it's really hard really rare because typically if you're in the pit you're surrounded by other guys that are in the pit i.

Rachael Novak:

Was gonna say like i think one of the most detrimental things that um i've seen men do and i see men do is when they are descending into a pit when they are engaging in behavior and vices that is numbing them from this like life that they probably feel very stuck in their inclination isn't to go seek out men who are going to call them out their inclination is to go find commiseration go find right the men who are going to justify these actions are going to like high five them for this porn and like bring them weed and like drink together

Mike Novak:

Yeah misery loves company you know what i mean and so these these guys bring you down like it's it's rare you have like an awakened group of men and then there's just this one oddball that's fucking asleep if you have that then and you've got guys that are going to watch that blind spot for you and shake the shit out of you that's fucking awesome like that's a great place to be but a coach a mentor someone that really cares about you and has an outside perspective that can see that you're just coasting right right.

Rachael Novak:

I mean, do you feel like there are men are happy there?

Mike Novak:

I think a lot of men are, they are like, they're like, Hey, you know what? This is pretty comfortable, right? It's comfortable getting up, you know, 7am sleeping in a little bit, hitting the snooze button a few times. It's comfortable just going to the safety of my nine to five job. It's comfortable sitting on my butt, watching football all day on Sundays. It's comfortable drinking three natty ices that in the evening, I get home from work or a couple shots of whiskey. Like, these are comfortable things. I kind of like this. It feels easy and I want easy.

Rachael Novak:

Right. And I mean, I think that that probably goes also with like not ever confronting their spouse. Right. Like never, never having like deep conversations with their wives, never really getting to know who their kids are, but just kind of doing this distant parenting and this distant marriage thing that is you're just numb and you're just asleep. Right.

Mike Novak:

It's like you're there, but you're there at like this like super topical surface level, right? Like you're completely asleep really deep down. And oftentimes really deep down, you're actually fucking hurting massively, which is the crazy thing about it, you know? Yeah. But you're just masking all that pain. Because again, society tells you that's what you need to do, right?

Rachael Novak:

Yeah. So speak to that. Because like the way that you were raised was like, you don't talk about this stuff. Like, Michael, what are you talking about?

Mike Novak:

Yeah. No, I mean, the way I was raised, I love my dad. Like, absolutely love the guy. He is a hard ass, like John Wayne kind of guy, you know? And he was like, hey, fuck your feelings, it's for pussies, you know what I mean? And I get that. He was trying to build toughness in me, and I think that this happens a lot as it transcends generations. But it can also make you really numb. You know what I mean? Where you're just like completely out of touch with how you actually really do feel about things. You're out of touch with your inner being and you're just kind of, that's really what creates the coasting. Like you're just, it puts you to sleep is what it really does because you've just numbed it all out. Do you know what I mean?

Rachael Novak:

Because you're not, the inclination is not, like men aren't conditioned to share any sort of vulnerability with other men.

Mike Novak:

Right. Like it's, I mean, like let's use Chuck as an example, right? Like Chuck and I, we will tell each other, I love you, man. And like, we know it, right? Like I'll text him something that I just love and appreciate about him. And most guys won't do that. They're like, that's gay, you know, fuck that. Why would I ever tell another dude that I love him? Right. Well, that's the exact thing that's holding you back. That's the exact reason that you're holding on all this pain is because you can't actually figure out how to release it. You know what I'm saying?

Rachael Novak:

Exactly. And it's funny because like, obviously this one's about men, but conversely on the women's side women will use love too loosely right like they'll they'll blanket like a a superficial relationship with oh i just love her i love you girl and it's like men do the opposite like we won't share that even if that feeling is true and real right

Mike Novak:

Yeah it's like very extreme on those sides you know what i mean and and both need to come to the middle a little bit more uh on the female side i mean do you think that wives see this in their men or are they asleep as well.

Rachael Novak:

I think it's a combination. You know, like to your point, like one of the biggest reasons that men and women have like that disconnected men are asleep is because men sleep are so out of touch with their emotional side that they don't recognize that their emotional side is the key to unlocking everything physically that they really want from their wife, right? Like women need the emotional side. You know, I've gone, we've gone around for years on like, well, you need sex and physical stuff and I need emotion before I go sex and who's going to give, right? And I think there's a lot of men who will just distance because they don't want to tap into any sort of emotion or any sort of feeling and then they're bitter because they're not getting the physical needs met that they want and so women are the opposite they're like well you're not meeting any of my emotional needs so of course i'm not going to meet your physical needs and then it just creates a deeper and deeper and wider divide between those two people it's

Mike Novak:

Like a resentment.

Rachael Novak:

Standoff 100 yeah it's like we're just standing there like each holding their right little pistol like i kind of love

Mike Novak:

You but i really don't like you.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly and then it's like over years of that kind of thing happening neither of them give they're so much resentment towards each other there isn't actually any like love anymore even though this is

Mike Novak:

Literally how you fall out of love even.

Rachael Novak:

Though very deep down if one of them were to break this standoff and that woman to say i need this from you and the man to like literally be in touch with his emotions enough and wake up enough to say what can i give you like what can i give you that's going to make you feel as connected to me as I want to feel with you like that's where things change but I think I think women do see that men are asleep and instead of understanding that it's because they don't want to tap into that emotion they think that it's because they turn into like things about themselves like oh I'm I must be fat or I must be ugly or he doesn't love me and they kind of turn it into something like that when really it's about the man it's not about the woman yeah absolutely yeah

Mike Novak:

So, I mean, again, like this is, we're talking about being savage, right? And a lot of guys think to be savages, to not tap into this part of your being. And the reality is that the most savage people that I know, the most savage men that make all the money that have everything that everyone else wants, they all have figured this code out, right? They figured out the section locks the power that you crave, right? It's, it's, it's like the force multiplier, but to do it requires massive vulnerability, right? Can you actually tell your wife how you feel about her, whether good or bad can you remind her how much you love her on a weekly or daily basis can you develop a brotherhood of men around you that are also awakened that you can have really candid raw conversations with and actually share how you're really doing you know the second i know if a dude's awake or not like it's if it's someone i can tell is going through pain i say how you doing man they're like i'm fine yeah that's like that closed off shit right like you're not fine i can tell you're not fine and i met you 20 seconds ago like your whole body posture your demeanor your vibe your energy everything about you spits that you're in fucking the pit of pain right but your inability to access that and be real with it and honest with yourself is the very thing that's going to hold you back and keep you there right and.

Rachael Novak:

That's exactly why you and i have like the limited friend circles that we do is it's very difficult We just talked about this the other day. It is very difficult to be so authentic and so willing to have real conversations at any moment, drop of a hat, real conversation, dive into something deep, and then be around people who are unwilling to have conversations, who are unwilling to share, or who want to live at this superficial level. Like, I can't. I can't hang out here. This, this is a waste of my time. I want real, I want you to tell me the shit that you're going through. Cause I can sense it anyways. Right. I can see it.

Mike Novak:

Once you've gotten that awakening and you've seen it, like you can't unsee it. And now all you see with other people that don't have this is like just this like weird vibe. And you're just like, man, what the fuck is going on? Right. And that's what's going on is like, these people are holding massively back.

Rachael Novak:

It's sad. Like it's, you really, you really do. Like, I mean, especially me, like I care so much for people And I see men who I know are in pain, who like, if I, if, if they would just for two seconds break character and say like, man, I'm hurting, like, man, I had a really rough morning with my wife and I don't know what to do. Like that, that would change your life. Being able to have that kind of conversation on a dime.

Mike Novak:

Right. It took me, I mean, it, it took me decades to find men like that. Right. Like I think I was 35 or 36 when I finally found a handful of men that had that kind of awaking in awareness and vulnerability amongst themselves. And they become like true brothers. You know what I mean? Where like they can call me in the middle of the night and be crying about whatever happened and we're fucking there for each other. You know what I mean? No judgment, right? Like you're fucking in pain. You're hurting. I got you, man. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? And that's so rare.

Rachael Novak:

It's so rare. Well, and there's a level of confidence you can have. Like there's the encouraging. Like I see you encourage your brothers, right? I see you encourage them to be vulnerable. I see them in turn encourage you and push you into doing things and having tough conversations and being vulnerable where you are unsure sometimes, right? And that's an incredibly powerful thing. And so to your point from before, if you are lucky enough to have men in your life, men, you're lucky enough to have men in your life who call you on your shit and you still do not wake up and you still do not have real conversations, be prepared to lose those men. Because those men- They're not going to hang out. They're not going to hang out. They're not going to beg you to be vulnerable. They're not going to beg you to come be real. Don't lose those men.

Mike Novak:

Yeah. When I think of like the criteria for my inner circle, it is one of the most important things I was telling us the other day is no victims, no martyrs, right? There's no room for that shit, right? You either have to completely own who you are and where you're at, or it's not going to work. So, but the path out of this, you, you have to get shaken awake. Hopefully it's not a traumatic event that wakes you up and then you got to start doing some uncomfortable shit, right? And the uncomfortable shit looks like things like actually exercising and taking care of your body. It looks like putting massive intentionality back into your marriage, dating your wife again, showing her and doing the shit that you did when you were dating that you fucking stopped doing when you got married and you're wondering why it fucking sucks now, right? Literally everything you did to date her, just go do that shit again and you're going to be totally fine.

Rachael Novak:

Right?

Mike Novak:

Put just like an ounce of thought into your day to day with her, right? And the world will fucking change. and then you got to fucking show your kids what you're looking for them to do by example you can't you got to stop fucking telling them you got to start showing them this is how i want you to live your life this is what the standard is look at me i'm going to lead this family and that's what the world needs the world needs strong ass men leading the way for their family and for their organizations right 100.

Rachael Novak:

Like one of my favorite quotes when it comes to parenthood and kids is that at some point your kids will stop listening to what you're saying and they will only be paying attention to what you're doing.

Mike Novak:

Right.

Rachael Novak:

Like if you are continuing to tell them, you need to do this, you need to do this as if you're some control freak, but you're not doing any of those things, not only are they not going to respect you, but you're not going to have an authentic relationship with them ever. Like they're going to move out and be done with you because they've already grown past you. They can already see your hypocrisy.

Mike Novak:

Yeah, 100%. Like one of the things that goes through my mind oftentimes, you know, we have a 15 year old who's got a boyfriend and I always think about when you and I are interacting, like what do i want her to have for her standards on how a man's going to treat her that's exactly what i'm going to do with you right like how can i put my queen up on a pedestal and show my daughters this is your standard right this is what you should be expecting out of a man that's the place you have to get to right and so weaponizing your body fucking important reigniting your marriage getting super real with your kids leading by example and then tapping into your inner fucking being, getting back, talking to God. Like, that is where some power is going to be found, right? None of these things are weak. These are all hallmarks of strong-ass men. They're proven things that will get you out of that pit and back to the peak that you want to climb. They're not hard either. They just shit you got to do.

Rachael Novak:

No, and it's been... A huge blessing and incredibly effective to see you get into alignment and get in a conversation with the higher power again. Because I think there's a lot of people out there, whether or not they believe in God and Jesus and the Bible and church and all that religious bullshit, frankly, whether or not they believe or like any of that stuff, I think most people out there believe that there's some sort of like path, like some sort of purpose, some sort of mission that each of us are here for, right? Like, I serve a purpose here somehow. Rachel Novak was not put on this earth to just be and be numb and just then die. Like, there's some reason, something, whether big or small or huge or not tiny, there's a reason. And so long as you believe that, that little spark of belief, knowing that there's something you're meant for, something that you are here to do is enough to say, I need to be in connection with that higher power. I need to somehow get in conversation with that higher power. Because what I have seen as your heart has reopened to spirituality and reopened to your true mission and your true path, Mike Novak, is I have seen more doors open in the last half year in business, in body, in balance, and in being than I have seen in the 15 years prior.

Mike Novak:

Right. It's a total game changer. And guys, I mean, like I was in this place where like, you think you don't need God. You're like, no, I'm, I'm strong.

Rachael Novak:

I'm good.

Mike Novak:

Yeah. I don't need that. Right. But again, like, like a lot of these things are about being willing to open your mind, you know, and to expose a vulnerability. Right. And if you can do that, that's what ultimately makes you so fucking strong. So the, the breakthrough for me with God was understanding that I can have relationship with God and not go to church. Like God and church are two very different things. Oftentimes people that believe in God go to church. That's totally cool. That's something I'm completely uninterested in doing, right? And there's a lot of reasons behind that that are way beyond the scope of this podcast. But guys, it's okay to talk to God, be connected to God, and not go to church every single Sunday. And I think a lot of us don't make that connection. I certainly didn't. I thought one was the same.

Rachael Novak:

I know. I mean, for the last 15 years, I'd be like, let's talk about spirituality. Let's talk about God. I'm not going to church. Nobody said anything about church.

Mike Novak:

But that's like in my head, I'm like, God, church. Like this is like one thought, you know what I mean?

Rachael Novak:

He doesn't actually live in the church. Yeah.

Mike Novak:

You wouldn't know, you know, if you just listen to what's out there. But I think a lot of like a lot of men feel like church and God feels super judgmental. But I think when you dive into it and you actually get back in conversation with God, you're going to realize that it's not judgment at all. That's men and like twisting God. You know what I mean?

Rachael Novak:

100%. Well, so this is reminding me. I'm not trying to get too super religious at all in this podcast by any means. But if you actually start reading some verses, if you actually start like just pulling them out, like what we do now, we look at chat GPT, we say, hey, give me four verses on being a strong woman. That's what I did the other day. And it was like, God does not want you to be timid. God wants you powerful and loving and self-disciplined. And I'm looking at that and I'm like, yeah, we are a savage man is powerful. A savage man is masculine. A savage man is strong, and that means emotionally and in vulnerability and in leading his family and in loving his family hard. Like, that's a savage man, and that's exactly what your purpose is, exactly what the intention for your life is, is to be powerful and not be timid and be a bright light, be a lighthouse for other men. Like, that's what your intention is.

Mike Novak:

There's a lot of wisdom to be found there if you just access it with an open mind, open heart. You know what I mean? And then ask yourself, how can I apply this to my life? But I think a lot of that emptiness that guys feel, they don't realize it's this, but it's this.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, I agree. So, I mean, is that, by finding this, getting in touch in all these different areas, right, weaponizing your body, I love you kind of glossed over that, but like making your body a weapon, like getting it to the point where shit could go down and i'll be there to defend my family

Mike Novak:

Right yeah there's a lot of guys that are like massively overweight and they're like out there telling their kids they need to work out and shit and it comes off as massively hypocritical or they're leaders in an organization but they're they don't have any personal discipline and there's complete misalignment with the rest of your life when you're like that so take your i mean you don't have to be a bodybuilder but just start working out and paying attention to what you fucking eat and don't be a toilet you know what i mean get.

Rachael Novak:

In yeah get in the get into something right whether it's jujitsu or whether it's a gym let's cross it like

Mike Novak:

I don't care find a way to move your ass at least three or four times a week and pay at least a little bit of attention to what you're putting into your body because what you're putting your body is fuel for it right exactly it's either gonna fucking tank you or it's going to make you be able to do so many more things but when you when you address the body when you weaponize the body everything else starts changing it puts your mind in a way better place It's like, what do I always tell you when I go to the gym? It's iron therapy, right? If I would go to the gym, I'm a fucking asshole, right? Like, I didn't get to blow off some steam this morning. I didn't get to start my day on my terms, right? I started them just kind of reacting to people, right? That's why I love going to the gym. The physical benefits are fantastic, but the mental therapy you get from it is a game changer. Men, you are somebody that should get out there and lift heavy shit. That's something we're called to go do, right? Go fucking lift heavy crap and tell me you don't feel better at the end of it.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, it's impossible, right?

Mike Novak:

Or we got lots of friends in Jiu Jitsu, like you said, like go check out a Jiu Jitsu Academy, put your hands on other men and you'll get fucked up. You'll get your ass kicked. You're gonna have the biggest smile on your face you've ever had. It's gonna massively humble you.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, shout out to Electric North Jiu Jitsu and Lake Stevens if you don't go there. That's where you should go, 100%.

Mike Novak:

If you're in our area, yes.

Rachael Novak:

So is this, are these things, is weaponizing your body, getting spiritual connection, being intentional with your spouse, being intentional with your kids, It's like getting intentional with your, your, your business and your finances and how you do, is that the key to getting what you truly want?

Mike Novak:

I think so. I think it, it, and this is like, all of these things are going to seem uncomfortable when you first start them. And then you're going to start doing them if you do, and you're going to ask yourself how you ever survived without doing them, right? Like they become habits and like your North star guiding you through each day and each week of your life. Right. And all of a sudden you find, Hey, I'm actually pretty fucking happy now. So yes, it all connects together.

Rachael Novak:

I couldn't agree more. So once you've got... You've woken up. You've now taken these steps of intentionality. You've now aligned your activities toward this. Maybe you've found this brotherhood or this inner circle to hold you accountable. Like, how do you like to your to your example, if you've hit these peaks before and now you're in this pit, how are we making our way to this next peak? And what what is beyond that next peak?

Mike Novak:

Well, the way you get out is to do all the things we just talked about, right? Like do all of those things in each one of the different areas of your life and you're going to be out of the pit before you know it. The big question becomes how do I stay at the next peak, right? Like how do I stay up there and not fall asleep again? Because society is going to pull at you to pull you back down into that pit that you just came out of, right? You got to, you got to start being very selective about who you spend your time with and building a new circle. You need to start aligning with people that have the same values of you. You need to be very careful about what habits you start picking up and the people that have those habits that are in your life, right? Because the biggest risk once you're awake is to fall back asleep and it happens to a lot of dudes, right? And it happens because of their environment. They don't control their environment. So joining a brotherhood, build that inner circle of friends like what I've done, you know what I mean? Where it takes a lot of time to find the right dudes. But when you find them, that will keep you massively awake because these guys care about you. You know what I mean? And you're in conversation. You keep each other awake. There's massive accountability there. Yeah, love that. But falling asleep becomes your biggest risk. Now like how am i going to avoid getting back to where i was and drifting back that way again like i can't do that how.

Rachael Novak:

Does a man bring his wife along like how how do you bring your spouse along on this journey

Mike Novak:

I think it starts with radical honesty like sitting down and saying like hey um i feel asleep and numb and i don't know why but i think that it's these couple of things. And I'd like to recommit to you and to myself that I'm going to fix it. I'm going to get back on the right path. I need you to have a little bit of grace with me. I'm going to be gone a little bit more because I'm going to go to the gym, right? I'm going to do some self-work, might be sleeping a little bit less, but at the end of this is going to be something that's going to be really honest, honest or awesome.

Rachael Novak:

Awesome. Yeah. I, I think like from the, from a woman's perspective, it's really, really, really important to have that open dialogue and open communication. Because just like you and I were talking about the other day, you know, over 20 years together, when you're with somebody for a really long time, there's different seasons that you're ahead of each other in these different domains, right? Like there may be a time that I was more focused on the fitness and you were way focused on business and there was out of alignment and your body wasn't where it is now. And my business acumen wasn't where it is now. And having having the open dialogue to say like, hey, at all times, I want you with me. Like, I want you to come with me. I want you to catch up to me. And as a for women, like, if you see your man waking up, and if you see him making these changes, stop making it about you. Stop blaming him for being away from you. Stop blaming him for, you know, trying to be better than you like this is about him separate the emotion of how you feel about yourself and what he's trying to do to better himself right like I was that young wife many many years ago who was a victim and who was like why are you leaving me all the time and why are you going and doing these like until I woke up and said wait a second if I do these things too and we're on this same trajectory, we can grow better together.

Mike Novak:

Right. That's what I was going to say is like sharing it with your wife, like what you're seeing on a daily basis and weekly basis. Like I try to debrief you all the time. Like, Hey, this happened. It was really cool. I think that you should check this out. Right. Or, Hey, I'm having a really rough day and this is why like this, like really opening that conversation and sharing on what's happening, I think is really what opens up those doors of communication so much more.

Rachael Novak:

And, and when you have that level of communication with your spouse, the amount of trust that you can now have, like my confidence in you is higher. My trust in you is higher. And I've watched you, not that you were ever soft by any means, but like I've watched you go so much more savage, you know, in the last couple of years. And it's inspiring. It's awesome. It's like, it makes me feel safe. It makes me feel loved. It makes me feel cherished. It makes me feel empowered. There's no part of me that is like a more masculine, strong man doesn't make a woman feel like she should be at home barefoot in the kitchen making bread, right? A more empowered, masculine man needs an empowered, deeply feminine and strong woman, right? And that's what I've loved about our relationship is being able to both step into like the feminine and the masculine energy and how that works so well today.

Mike Novak:

And you can really push each other to rise together, you know what I mean? And then that's where magic starts to really happen. You know, that's where like legacy gets built.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, exactly. So final words for going from soft to savage.

Mike Novak:

Wake the fuck up, right? There's your wake up call right here. I mean, like whenever I talk about men that are asleep or that are in pain, I get more messages on social media than anything else because dudes fucking feel it and they don't want to broadcast it, but they'll message me privately about it and be like, this is going on. Like, these are people I don't even know, right? They're like, oh my God, like, wait, I don't even know why you're telling me this, but I'm sorry. You know what I mean? But guys feel that pain. They know what's going on. You know what's going on, right? Like, just be fucking real about it and wake up and be committed to doing uncomfortable shit to change it.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah. And women, if you know that your man is asleep, if you know that he he needs a wake up call, like be gentle with him. But man, send him this podcast and we'll

Mike Novak:

Push him challenge.

Rachael Novak:

And be OK with the initial reaction being upset with you. Like, that's going to be a pretty normal reaction to somebody who is asleep because the defenses are high. Right? The defenses are high. But send this to him.

Mike Novak:

When men get around other awakened men, we realize it immediately. Like, it's something you can tell them. Like, you don't even have to say anything. You can just fucking read the dude. You know what I mean? But it's really rare. So, I hope that's going to be you next when I meet you.

Rachael Novak:

Can't wait to do this on the woman's side next.

Mike Novak:

We'll see you next week. For coaching, go to thewarrioragent.com. You can check out our different programs and coaching opportunities on there we'll see you next week that's.

Rachael Novak:

A wrap on today's episode of growth drivers

Mike Novak:

If you found value in this conversation don't forget to subscribe leave a review and share this with a fellow entrepreneur for.

Rachael Novak:

More insights tools and resources visit us at thewarrioragent.com

Mike Novak:

Keep pushing forward keep leading with purpose and we'll see you next time.