unALIKE Podcast
Introducing, the unALIKE Podcast! Join Sean and Josh each week as they share their opinions, challenge eachother, and compare notes on topics like fatherhood, public perception, snack foods, and more...
unALIKE Podcast
Comparing Fatherhood: Playtime, Parenting Styles, and Life Lessons
Can playing pretend with your kids teach you profound lessons about fatherhood? Introducing, the unALIKE Podcast! We're here to share our opinions, challenge eachother, and compare notes on topics like fatherhood, guest etiquette, and more..
On this episode of the Unalike Podcast, join us, Sean and Josh, as we navigate through the sometimes chaotic landscapes of parenting. From donning princess crowns and using our best "girl voices" to recounting the eye-popping costs of American Girl Dolls, we share the joys and unexpected challenges that come with embracing our childrens' imaginations. We also delve into the etiquette of hosting guests and the humorous mishaps that ensue when living and entertaining merge.
Finally, we tackle the complexities of parenting styles and consumerism. From letting kids get dirty to navigating the pressures of public perception, we share our thoughts on the sacrifices parents make and the responsibilities we hold. We reminisce about our own childhood desires for video games and Pokémon cards, comparing them to today's digital obsessions. Tune in for a blend of humor, practical advice, and heartwarming stories, as we offer insights and strategies for modern parenting while celebrating the rich tapestry of our unique journeys.
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Good morning.
Josh:Oh yeah.
Sean:Early morning news. We should be meteorologists.
Josh:Oh yeah, that'll be.
Sean:Today's weather.
Josh:In Martinsburg, west Virginia, we might see a tornado. I'm Sean, I'm Josh and this is the Unalike Podcast and we're going to talk about ways that were the same but different. Two unlikely friends, you might say. How would you describe the show?
Sean:Yeah, a lot of perceptions the same and I think we're going to find out. We're going to have some different perceptions on things. For sure, yeah, I mean mean that's very likely, uh, so oh, so we met through our wives, that's true, and I don't even know how many years ago.
Josh:And then we just kept meeting wedding after wedding, weddings my wedding you were there, and then, uh, and then I moved here, moving west virginia, in 2021, I think, and uh, happily ever after, right josh, exactly. Uh, let's see, we're both, we're both family men, both have uh children.
Sean:I got two kids I have one kid, one daughter, right um, hmm, okay, similarities, similarities end right there, right, that's it. Right. One thing is a big similarity both being married, both having kids, both kind of living, the same type of husband-father lives.
Josh:Yeah, I would imagine there's some similarities there, for sure, although I mean, I'm just going to say this right off the bat you have a very different home life, my friend. Uh, how many chores do you do at home?
Sean:um, you know, I mean specifically when it comes to chores, um, we do have goats. Okay, I water, I water the goats water the goats, is that how? You say it mow the lawn yeah and um, you know, take a bullet for the family okay, yeah, of course, if an invader comes.
Josh:Yes, that's a good, that's a forever chore.
Sean:Yeah, yeah so when it comes to you know the dishes you know how the washing machine works I do not. Um, when I do the dishes to surprise my wife, I hand wash them. That's how I've always done it. I enjoy hand washing. And uh, the problem is when she comes home and I surprise her with washing the dishes, she doesn't find it much of a surprise because she's got to redo them all. Right, she's like wow, you did something. I did every single day.
Josh:Yes, you're like, look at me.
Sean:But I mean, does it count that dish washing if you just put them in the dishwasher?
Josh:I think so. You know, it's a good 10 minutes of work.
Josh:That's true it's you know it's uh, you have these chairs, bro, I'm gonna get some rolling mats over here. Um, let me see how far I can lean back. Can I chill this far? Yeah, so I mean, yeah, that's that's, uh, that's a little different on my end. You know, I'm uh, I'm uh. We're kind of split down the middle when it comes to house chores. Uh, a new, a new age household, if you will, you know, so I'm doing, uh, doing the dishes or washing clothes. Um, I mean, take care of the pool.
Sean:I would say, that's how most houses are run.
Josh:You've got something special going on. Man don't let your wife watch this and realize that that's not normal it's the goats. They take up all my chores there's no possible time for anything else exactly.
Sean:That's 10 minutes out of the day. Water in the hay yeah.
Josh:so there we go, but I think in terms of raising our kids, we're probably similar in that regard. I don't know my family growing up. My dad wasn't super active in the upbringing of us kids.
Sean:He was around.
Josh:He wasn't absent like the the upbringing of us kids. Um, you know he was around. He wasn't like absent, but wasn't like every day hanging out with us, taking us places where I think both of us enjoy doing that. We like to go out and right you know, take our, take our family places experiences do, do stuff right, and I mean growing up.
Sean:It was a little different for me. Um, my dad worked a lot every day, but we were always doing something, uh, whether it was going to nascar races, uh, one time we were into wwe wrestling. We were going to wrestling however you say wrestling you know wrestling um, but like we kind of all. Who's your favorite wrestler, by the way? Oh, dwayne Johnson.
Josh:Oh, okay, okay. I'm more of a Stone Cold Steve Austin fan. You know what I'm saying. I mean Like an alcoholic figure as a child who's just really.
Sean:It just hit home you know, in his word usage I mean that was perfect for an idol to look up to. Yeah, you know, exactly yeah.
Josh:I mean, I was watching Sopranos when I was like seven and swearing pretty early on Swearing was just swear words were adjectives in my house.
Sean:Yeah, mine started about middle school. It went from like zero to 100 with the swearing real fast. Yeah, the swing real fast.
Josh:Yeah, did you get? Did you ever have limitations at home about um like?
Sean:uh, video games or anything like that that you could play, or Um, not really.
Josh:I mean it was pretty or like shows you could watch or whatever.
Sean:Yeah, show wise. Um. I mean, everything started about middle school, though. Once I got introduced to hip hop and watching those videos sneaking to watch those videos I started to learn a lot more that was out there that I didn't know the darn hip hop, terrible influence, the, the those uh parental advisory stickers really got you yeah, there was no parental advisory on the videos with what? Some of the things I've seen in early age yeah, my, my parents didn't really mind.
Josh:I guess they didn't filter what I was watching or the music I was listening to or anything, or video games I was playing. Maybe they should have. I was playing Grand Theft Auto probably way too young, but I did play some Grand Theft Auto yeah stuff I would never do with my kids. Like you know, my son is 7 and there is no chance I'd let him play Grand Theft Auto right?
Sean:now, right, I think movie-wise I'm a little more lenient with my daughter Watching. Just recently, or a couple days ago, we watched Scarface. No, we haven't got there. The Scarface poster is still at my parents' house above my bed, right next to pamela anderson. Uh, yes, on the bathroom door there was a um sports illustrated uh poster, classic um, but we just watched in game uh avengers in game.
Josh:Okay, well, you know the. I feel like the superhero stuff is a little bit softer. It's a good intro into violence.
Sean:It is the next morning she woke up. I'm like, okay, are we ready to start from the beginning and watch Captain America? No, no, I need a couple days break. There was a lot of dust in the moment we just watched, so I wasn't expecting that the first thing in the morning. Yeah, that's funny. So, speaking of that, when it comes to being the father, what? What is your favorite thing like? What is your one of your top favorite things about being a dad?
Josh:top favorite things about being a dad. You know it's different, I think, with different ages. Like I forgot about this because my son is seven now but you know, when he was little, just him hitting these milestones so rapidly. So now I have a daughter who's younger my daughter's a year and a half. Seeing her hit these milestones and be able to say stuff like I love you, dada, that's awesome. But with my son being a little bit older, his milestones are still just as exciting and they're different, but they're just, you know, less frequent. Right, they go through slower transitions as they get older, but I guess it's just rewarding watching my family grow and be together and, you know, make memories and stuff like that.
Josh:Like in general just the fact of being a dad, I think, is great.
Sean:Right, and I agree with all aspects of that. One thing I battle is between sometimes like you go to bed at night and you hear dad, mom, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I got to wake up. But then the next day I'm like it's still nice to be needed. Ah, sure, yeah, for sure Like that's the part Like, oh my gosh, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, or she's scared or she can't fall asleep, like you're still there and needed to comfort.
Josh:The protector figure, right, or even just like, yeah, being their source of comfort and reassurance and stuff like that. Yeah, I get you that's, that's cool and that's not gonna last long, right? Like I mean, shoot, I think both of our older kids are gonna probably stop needing us so much, you know, right? I mean now it's only, it's only to be less and less and it'll be more and more about money, probably as they get older. It's like one of my dad's favorite books to read to me.
Josh:I think I didn't bring a copy, but was the Giving Tree. You ever read the Giving Tree? I have heard of the Giving Tree Kid's book, but I think it's really for the parents that are reading it, and it's about the son or child that spends time with the tree, which is like the parent figure, and wants from it, like eventually wants the wood for, I think, making a house and there's less and less of the tree left as the book progresses and then there's nothing but a stump at the end. So one day, josh, you and I are both going to be stumps.
Josh:And that's the thing too, like I feel like you're always going to be needed, like I mean, there's times Well, yeah, the old boy at the end of that book sits on the stump for a nice place to rest Right, and old boy at the end of that book sits on the stump for a nice place to rest right it's just a different kind of need when they're younger.
Sean:Yeah, that's the thing, like whole different kind of need. Yeah, no doubt so. When you get to your most favorite thing, what would be something? So, for instance, something I find annoying but also like it's still enjoyable.
Josh:An enjoyable annoyance. Yeah, all right, hit me.
Sean:So my thing is with having a daughter yeah, she has all the unicorns, she has all the Barbies, she has all the baby dolls oh, yeah, of course. So when she asks me to play, I always have to be a girl. Yeah, you're a princess dad, so yeah, of course. So when she asked me to play, I always have to be a girl.
Josh:Yeah, you're Princess.
Sean:Dad, so yeah.
Josh:Princess Dad.
Sean:So there could be multiple prince, prince, kings, whatever they are, as she calls them. And we also have plenty of kin dolls, but for some reason I still always have to be the girl. So I have plenty of Ken dolls, but for some reason I still always have to be the girl. So 45 minutes of playing it's always. Dad, you've got to use your girl voice. It's not a boy, it's a girl, she enforces it.
Josh:So I'm like there's a Ken right here.
Sean:There's Prince Charming right here.
Josh:She's like no, I switched characters. She's like uh-uh.
Sean:So I mean, most of the time when we play, I'm a girl, yes, but I also find it funny as when I do finally get to be a male character a Ken, a boy, unicorn I still change my voice.
Josh:I don't use my own voice. Do you ever go to work and use it?
Sean:There's probably times where it comes out, but yeah, like I just can't use my normal voice for ken it's hey, I'm ken.
Josh:yeah yeah, you know, my son doesn't play much pretend. I think you know that he's just into different stuff, but already I could see my daughter's going down that that rabbit hole. You know, we just got an american doll the other day, oh yeah.
Sean:Economy-wise, they're very good prices.
Josh:Oh yeah. Yeah, I was like dude, we are not buying a $125 doll, and sure enough we did. That is exactly what happened. I think we're probably going to be. I'm going to be doing girl dad voices in a while, in a couple more years. Right now I can use my normal voice. That's lucky for you, yeah that's why you can.
Sean:But the thing with American Girl Dolls you always have the appointments you can set up for for haircuts, for haircuts, tea parties. Oh boy, at least somebody else can use the girl's voice at that time.
Josh:Oh my gosh, this stuff is crazy. I'm going to borrow all the knockoff stuff from Target. I've decided Nobody knows. Nobody knows the difference. No, if they do, they're not welcome in my house. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you, when you have people who come visit your house you know, come visit not just for like hanging out for the day, but like someone's going to stay with you what are some things that they do, they could do? That might might be like get on your nerves, like things that are, you know, I don't use annoying because it's a strong word. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings who've been to your house, but, uh, you know, someone does something you're like, oh, maybe he breaks up your routine, right, or like messes up your mojo. What do you think?
Sean:um, I think one thing that leads up to that is stopping over unannounced oh right no, that's just not acceptable no um you know, sometimes nobody's ever in your neighborhood.
Josh:anyway, what are they doing?
Sean:You know, sometimes I just uh, have my day already planned. I was laying on the couch and watching something and you hear a knock at the door. I mean that's fine, um coming to their house. I don't know, I'm pretty good with like whatever. Um do you ever have guests? Um, very, stay the night? Does stay the night? No, I'm pretty good with like whatever. Do you ever have guests this day of the night, this day of the night? No, never have guests this day of the night, never.
Josh:No, oh, okay, well, there you go. Well, you're not going to have any annoyances about that, then, will you?
Sean:No, there's literally a hotel up the road.
Josh:He circumvented that completely, like oh yeah, I got you a room at the helen right. No, I mean, if somebody came over and they had a couple drinks or needed somewhere, you let them crash on the couch.
Sean:Yeah, the couch is fantastic as long as you're gone before they wake up. Before you wake up, right, right, I mean food wise, good luck. I mean, usually we buy food just enough to get us through the week, but I'm sure there's something in there they could snack on. Yeah, yeah, no drinks. I've learned you don't buy drinks. No, not really Water, tap water. Were you a juice?
Josh:kid growing up, did you have juice and sodas?
Sean:Yeah, that's a good question. I don't even remember.
Josh:I feel like there was families who were just water families, which is what we've become pretty much, and then there's the kids who got all the sugary juices and the barrel drums.
Sean:I mean, the only thing I can remember is maybe like Sunny D.
Josh:Oh, you had Sunny D. Yeah, I love Sunny D. Did you get the little ones that you could take with you, or did you have the big ones?
Sean:The little ones. Oh yeah, we recently got my daughter Sunny D. Oh yeah, and once see, man, you can't go wrong.
Josh:yeah, so when people come visit my house, I think, uh, uh, there's a few things that, um, someone might do that you know can get get on my nerves a little bit. Uh like, for example, um, you know someone will will try to be helpful when they don't need to be like. If you're my guest, I'm gonna take care of you, know your mess and your things and your. When they don't need to be Like, if you're my guest, I'm going to take care of you, know your mess and your things and your dishes. I don't care, it's fine, it's not me. But when they try to be helpful and they do it a way that's different than I would do it like they put away my dishes but like in the wrong place, and then you're like where the fuck is the measuring cup?
Sean:It's cup and it's like in a weird place, you know. Or if they want to throw the trash away and they got to go through, you see them looking oh you know like where's your trash can. Well, you wouldn't even have to know where my trash can was.
Josh:I'll take, I got it yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a good one. Yeah, it makes you feel like they really want you to take out the trash. At least that's how I look at it. When someone's trying to take out my trash, they really want me to take out the trash, because what they're saying is you've neglected your trash can and it is over full right. And now now they're trying to like take it in their hands. It's totally not necessary.
Sean:I mean, it's not a bad idea, I'll handle the trash. If they go throw something where your trash is full, hey, can you get that for me?
Josh:I'll put it outside and I'll put a new bag. Yeah, put them to to work. Yeah, all right, yeah yeah. You know what I think it's when it's their idea that I have a problem, right? If it was my idea, I think I'd be all right with it.
Sean:Yeah, I think that is one of the things that you should almost it's almost like you've got to make things known when somebody comes to your house.
Josh:Ground rules. Yeah, nobody's going to stay at your fucking house. If you've got ground rules, sign the contract.
Sean:Like listen when you're here, don't worry about a thing.
Josh:Okay, yeah, rule number one.
Sean:There are no rules, like, it's easier for me to do everything in my own house, yeah, and you not have to stress over what your job is staying here yeah, that's true or being here.
Josh:Yeah so to anyone who comes to my house, don't do anything, don't do my chores.
Sean:Right. And, for instance, another thing that's like, say, you order a pizza, like when I order a pizza, I'm carrying it to the kitchen. I'm already getting a piece out, oh for sure. And when you're a guest somewhere, it's like when is the right time to go get my food?
Josh:Or do I wait until somebody comes? I'm the first guy at every party in the line for food, for food, I don't give a fuck. See, that's the.
Sean:You know because.
Josh:I know on the host side you want people to eat the food you bought. Right side, you want people to eat the food you bought right. You don't buy the food so that somebody could look at it. We recently had some, had some company and we had, we bought some things, we had some things out and nobody ate anything. We were like oh, what did we do wrong? Do we get the wrong food? Did have allergies we didn't know about? I don't. You know, as a host you want people to eat the food that you got that's where I'm the first one in life.
Sean:That's where the ground rules come in.
Josh:Ground rules eat my food even if you don't like it. I don't care if you're going to get diarrhea.
Sean:Eat it. That's where I become the opposite. I'm always like middle or towards the end of getting in the line.
Josh:Oh, okay, let everybody else. Well, you know what, if the food looks like there's a shortage, I'm not the guy getting second helpings and piling it on the plate. You know what I mean.
Sean:Yeah, but piling on the plate, you know what I mean. Yeah, but if you go first, you can beat some of the people the second time. I haven't been there yet. I try not to do that. Try not to do that. Get there and the host will be like, well, we thought we had enough.
Josh:Yeah, but sean's over in the corner, yeah, on his third plate well, you know nothing worse than um than being like super hungry because you misjudged what the party food was going to be like. Right, I try never to let that happen again. Now, like every time we have people over, I'm like I got backup food.
Sean:Yeah, you know, just in case, even if it's cheese sticks, got some backup food, and that's all the timing in the day. I mean one thing you're going to notice with well, you prioritize this, and then you're going to notice with um, well, you probably already noticed, and then you're going to have to do it again. Birthday parties like the time of day, like a birthday party at two and three o'clock in the day it's confusing.
Josh:It really throws me off, like, are we gonna have dinner or are you gonna just serve?
Sean:you know, popcorn and if they do have like decent food, how much food do I want to eat at two or three?
Josh:because right am I gonna eat again at seven, six, yeah, yeah, that's true. But kids birthday parties, man, I mean, look up your diet the.
Sean:It all depends. I mean, I could skip the food, but I'm always gonna eat that cake, oh, no doubt.
Josh:Or cupcakes now there's'm always going to eat that cake oh, no doubt or cupcakes, now, there's no good way to eat a cupcake, I've learned, but there is, I think, something that your wife does with cupcakes.
Sean:Oh yeah, she takes it out, she breaks it in half, she flips the top over and she makes like a cupcake sandwich.
Josh:Cupcake sandwich.
Sean:I think that's probably the best thing to do it is, but I will never do it because it ruins the fact of like. I like the biting into the icing the first thing. Really Like I mean a cupcake you're supposed to get messy, like I don't give a shit if I'm sitting there.
Josh:There's no good way to do it. I mean even when, if cupcakes are as big as they are in Rochester, where I'm from, you know they make these delicate like elaborate cupcakes that have these, you know, tons of big toppings they end up being huge and you know it's like this much frosting. You can't open your mouth that big.
Sean:All right.
Josh:Well, rest of dream cupcakes are not on steroids.
Sean:Yeah, that's usually like two to three bites, yeah and done. But I will say it doesn't matter how you do a cupcake when you have a beard like ours, you're always gonna get some kind of icing in your beard, yeah I want cupcakes that are half size, even just half the cake. I'm a one-bite type person. I like if you show up and there's just a bunch of little cupcakes.
Josh:The mini cupcakes.
Sean:Yeah, I can walk around and just throw one in my mouth every so often. Nobody will see you. I think you just have the wrappers everywhere, yeah. Yeah, I think you just have the wrappers everywhere, yeah.
Josh:Yeah, speaking of which, my son started trying to hide his snacks that he's not supposed to have. He hides the wrappers in places other than the trash can for some reason, as if that'll be harder for us to detect. So he's got like a little.
Sean:It's actually like a car trash can, but he put it in his playroom and he started filling it with like snack wrappers. Recently found his trash stash, so like if you ever want to have a snack and nobody to know, just blame it on him.
Josh:Yeah put it in his trash stash. That's smart, next level Blaming your kids for eating things that you're not supposed to eat. Oh, it's so easy Top, top notch, right there, yeah.
Sean:My daughter's new thing is the kitchen is right by the living room and I can't see in the kitchen.
Josh:But you hear the cabinets and you walk out there and she runs to the other living room and like she's circling.
Sean:I wasn't doing anything. Yeah, no, not me anything well, why are the cabinets? I wasn't doing anything like. I really don't care if you're having a snack, like it's not a huge secret around here snacks. That's why they would buy them, yeah but that's one thing with uh again, with having that's some of the fun things that you get to go into it Like it's funny because some stuff that they think they're going to get in trouble for at that time maybe I have to act serious. But in my mind I'm like this is hilarious.
Josh:It's not a big deal, I don't really care. But if you think, it's wrong.
Sean:Okay, let's go with it. Maybe we won't do it again. Yeah once my wife found out she was pregnant and, um, not right at the beginning, but you know, when the stomach starts to grow and there's all kinds of hormone things going on, uh, like that baby already becomes like part of your life.
Josh:Yeah, for sure.
Sean:So you go from being protective of your wife to automatically being protective of two people and you become have that connection and I don't see how some people, um, automatically just walk away from that connection, like how it's I? I just don't see, like whether it's an accident or not or it wasn't planned, like that connection that I have, automatically knowing that that's my kid inside her stomach, like it's a takeover of, okay, that's yours. Now it's not an animal, you just can't give it away. Yeah, you know, I think uh like there's the.
Josh:Yeah, you know, I think uh like there's the. The science behind some of that is, uh, men feel their connection to their kids. Uh, generally after the kids are born, there's a? Uh, a change in testosterone in men. You actually get less testosterone and that lower T helps you bond more with your kid. You're not looking for new mates, you're not out there, you know, with that kind of aggression or whatever that you might have. And being home and putting on a few pounds and spending time with your, with your kids, causes you to, you know, bond with them. But I don't know, maybe some people just don't have it. You know some people just uh, keep it going. I don't know. It's tough to say, you know I I will say when my wife first said that she was pregnant, my I, I wish this were different, but my very first reaction was, oh fuck. You know, soon after I was like all right, this is great, this is awesome. I think you know I was excited. But you know the moment of like, oh man, what are we gonna do?
Sean:you know, there's definitely a um shock value to it. Yeah uh, when my wife told me that she was pregnant, I came home, I bleeped from the gym and she handed me a seed.
Josh:I'm like what the fuck? That's a weird way to do it yeah, here's a seed.
Sean:This is the size right now, the size of what, what's stuck in your tooth like yeah, what do you got?
Josh:yeah?
Sean:oh, I'm pregnant. I'm'm like, oh, okay, that's cool, but I would never like at that time, even though it was a shock and I was like, oh, am I ready for this there?
Josh:was no like sense of oh my God, I've got to get out now. Well, I think it's because we both loved our wives, right, you know like if you don't really love the person you're with you might have different feelings.
Sean:Like, oh man, I'm going to be, you know. But that's where sometimes I could give it a little bit of play, where if you're not with somebody, you find out they're pregnant. There is a shock there. There's like a what should I do? What can I do? I don't know if I'm ready for that, um. But then you turn around and you say, okay, maybe you give a little leeway there, but after the baby's born, and then you hear of father's leaving. After a baby is a baby two, three years old.
Josh:Like that is nuts to me like that's crazy, getting the milk and never come back, right, yeah, I don't know how people do that. I mean, I guess I'm just a softy when it comes to my kids, I mean even other people's babies. I'm like, oh, I love this baby right you know it's hard to, yeah, it's hard to imagine just walking away from from your blood.
Sean:But and I mean it takes, it takes two like that have that bond with a kid and I mean people do it. I give, give it up to single moms or single dads that do it, because I mean it takes me and my wife together, everything yeah correct, right, so yeah, no, I don't know how people do it now, um, one thing that I notice and I see a lot, is when and I know a couple families that have four, five and six kids and I know they do they do a great job. It.
Josh:It's insane. That's what they wanted.
Sean:I know people that have up to seven kids. They do a great job and that was their intent. We want kids.
Josh:They set out to have a big family.
Sean:We can provide for them. We will try to give them everything they need and we'll raise them all the same and treat them all the same. And then the other side of the factor is I see people that have one or two kids who know things didn't work out. They're getting with somebody else, not married, yet popping out another one or two.
Sean:And the next thing they know like they're having four, five, six, seven kids yeah, with three or four different dads and or moms or moms yeah, with different dads or moms, or getting a relationship taking on other kids. That and it blows my mind, um to be put in that situation, um, like I know, with our, our daughter, when we decide we're only having one kid, could we have more, be able to afford it and supply for another kid? Yes, but we chose just to have one. I blows my mind how some people were like okay, I have one kid, I'm struggling let's do it again.
Sean:This is tough but yeah, three or four more down the road. Yeah, they're having more. Yeah, I think some people just aren't very smart, I mean, when it comes to that, I mean, there's no other explanation.
Josh:Yeah, I think they just don't think ahead or don't think it's going to happen, or maybe they're not planning on providing with your level of expectation for providing for your child, like not in that extreme of a way. I see we take different care of our son than some people do of their kids and like what I mean by that is we homeschool. He was struggling in school, he was ahead in some areas, he was being bullied in school and our solution was okay, we don't want him to deal with that, we're going to homeschool him. I think a lot of other parents going through that same stuff might have just been like, oh, I can't possibly do that. Like you got to stay in school and you know, right or wrong or indifferent doesn't matter. But like you know, obviously we wouldn't be able to homeschool seven kids. So like that puts a limiter on, like, if that's our level of care, that puts a limiter on how many kids we could possibly care for.
Sean:You know, or just pick your jobs and just have a whole class yeah.
Josh:Like you know, you can only go so far. I mean, my cousin, I don't know how she does it, but she homeschools three kids, and you know, and a fourth, that's a baby that's not yet learning. But you know, man, I don't know how you go about that, but yeah, you know.
Sean:Then there's people who their level of care is much less and they, you know, believe that their kids will just figure shit out you know Right and I mean that's where I just had this discussion the other day where you can do everything you can for your kid to make them grow up to act right, to do things right, but once they get to that school setting School Then you have to reteach why we're teaching you not to do this but little Johnny's over there at five saying fuck you leave me alone.
Josh:I was little Johnny in school. Yeah, you know I think there's bad examples everywhere for your kids to find out. But I think you know, like your daughter, she knows right and wrong. And I feel like she's the type of girl who would come home and tell you like, like your daughter, she knows right and wrong and she, I feel like she's the type of girl who would would come home and tell you like, oh, she had, like little johnny said this. I can't believe it.
Sean:Yeah, I mean just this year coming home like something I wouldn't expect her to hear. Uh, this early she heard and I mean, was't really bad? No, but it's something like I would have one, or my wife wouldn't have to explain to her before she hears it from another kid her age, oh geez.
Sean:but then that's where it comes in play of everybody. Um, parents, their yeah or not at all, or not at all. There's a lot of grandparents that are parents these days, that's true, and they try their best. But you go to Walmart, go to Target, and when you see Grandma with a little badass running around like what's Grandma going to do? My grandma's like yelling, and they're running around like what's grandma gonna do? My grandma's like yelling, and they're running around like crazy.
Sean:she ain't chasing them yeah but I mean that's where that's where also comes into play, where, when maybe that instance of having four or five brothers or not having that male role model, or mom, single mom, or dads at work and grandparents are trying to raise them to the best they can in a different generation, yeah, that's tough that they're not getting what our kids get on a daily basis.
Josh:Yeah, no doubt yeah, yeah, I think, um doubt, yeah, yeah, I think, um, you know there's. There's obviously a lot of reasons why all that stuff can happen, and I think I want to be conscious or conscientious of, you know, the, the economic reasons or the the social reasons or otherwise, why a parent might not be able to be there for their kids. The same way, I think we're lucky, we're blessed in some way, we're lucky we're able to do what we're able to do, but yeah, then there's just some dummies out there.
Sean:Yeah, and that's the thing too. One thing that always gets to me is seeing if a dirty kid out in a public setting at Walmart or Target or somewhere, like if you're out in your grocery shopping like I'm, I'm an old navy guy, like I get an old navy and I'm like, oh my god, this is better deals than walmart target. Like five dollar shirts, three dollar kid shirts, like did you get that shirt off?
Sean:the kids right um this one, yes, yeah, this one's selling uh toddler section real big toddlers right, big and tall toddlercom um, but that's the thing too, like if you have so many kids or you feel like, um, I don't feel like, unless you are absolutely homeless, like your kids should never be dirty, and rather that's clothes or the kid itself like hygiene.
Josh:Well, you know, there's those real granola parents that got their kids out there playing in the dirt because the dirt's good for them, you know.
Sean:It's just a different parenting style. Yeah, I think every kid should be able to play in the dirt because the dirt's good for them. You know I well. That's just a different parenting style. Yeah, I think every kid should be able to play in the dirt every kid.
Josh:But if, once they leave the, the dirt pile, they gotta take a shower.
Sean:I think, once you leave the dirt you might want to clean clean under those fingernails, right? Yeah, all right, fair enough watch out dirty kids, but I've known kids that are actually, I mean, that are homeless, that live out of cars, so, yeah, that's a whole different situation. Yeah, like that there's a struggle there, something went wrong. Um, yeah, could I judge it if I knew every situation? Of course, I would like is it?
Sean:is it because you don't want to work? Is it because you made screwed up decisions in your life? But uh, a kid should never have to suffer, like if I went broke tomorrow and I had enough money for food and um, anything like everything's gonna come first for my kid. Like I would be the one that's dirty, I would be the one with the old, raggedy clothes, yeah, I know. It falls on me, as the parent, to make sure my kid's clean.
Josh:No, that's true. Yeah, I think it's our responsibility to take care of the kids first, but I don't think everybody sees it that way.
Sean:I see a lot of people got fresh clothes and fresh shoes and their kids got some you know, beat up sneakers and stuff you know right and that's and that's the ones I'm talking about is when I see a parent that has everything on the nice cell phone, everything brand new, everything, brand new looking good brand new hair done like styling and the kids like what everybody I have left is going to you.
Josh:Yeah, yeah yeah, right, we're both, I think, the inverse uh of that. Like I'll, you know, we just went shopping the other day. I didn't get anything because I was like I really don't need anything. But you know, I didn't, I didn't have any needs, but, you know, made sure my son and my daughter and my wife all got new shit, you know, right? Um, yeah, I'm always thinking about that first rather than what I'm wearing.
Sean:But yeah, man, and that and that's a struggle too. Some people just don't know how to cope with.
Josh:Not being the most important thing in their own lives? Yes, I think that's true.
Sean:I think that's a maturity thing. I think when it comes to having a kid, some people can't get away from the selfish ways of their own. Yeah.
Josh:I mean, everybody's favorite word to hear is their own, their own name, and like we're all I think, inherently some degree of selfish.
Sean:But yeah, when you have kids you have to you can still be selfish, you just have to back up on it.
Josh:Yeah, like that's in, I don't think some people I always say that I'm selfish in a way where I will, um, I will do something that I know I need, uh, in order to be better for you know, everyone else, um, like, I would take care of myself first. My dad, my dad wrote me a letter when I was young and I didn't really get it till later. But you know, it was basically do something nice for yourself every day, because basically no one else really does.
Josh:No one else will you know that's a good point so you know, treat yourself and then you'll be able to do what you need to do for other people. I'm not always first on my list, like I will say, like probably most days I'm like waking up and you know, immediately jumping into, you know, a parenting role where I've got to do something for my daughter or my son, and you know whatever I've got to do. But yeah, I try to do something good for me every day.
Sean:Yeah, and that gets away from you. Sometimes also it's like anything else, Like you have to do things for yourself. But sometimes I feel myself that I have to make sure my daughter's happy before I'm happy.
Josh:Oh yeah, you got this dad guilt about going out and doing something for you. Yeah yeah, that can be tough. It was harder when they were younger and they would cry when you walk out the door. Right Now, my son's like on YouTube watching people play Minecraft or something he doesn't even know I left.
Sean:Oh yeah, my daughter loves the ones if I put on toys, just watching kids play with toys.
Josh:Man, this generation is so weird. Yeah, like even watching people play games, like I mean, I have friends who you know go on Twitch and watch people play games and stuff, but I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, if I went to your house and we were going to play video games and it was single player, I could give a fuck less about how you were doing Exactly.
Josh:I was just waiting for my turn. Yep, I was hoping you were going to fall off the ledge so that I could play. I didn't want to watch anybody else play video games. Now you know, I think the next generation like all into Twitch. Watching other people play games huge thing. And now it's watching other people play with toys. This is pretty soon it's going to be a real meadow. It'll be watching people, watching people play games. We're going to get further and further away. There's going to be one person who plays video games from out and then everybody watches.
Sean:Everybody just watches. Yeah, like it's going to be an hbo special, yeah, weird. But yeah, I mean it's a great um. It's a great selling point, though, because these kids get on there and stuff you've never seen before and they're watching kids unbox it. They're watching kids get it there and stuff you've never seen before and they're watching kids unbox it. They're watching kids get it out. They're playing into the excitement of having that and what it does. It's not like you used to do. Toys are us. You walk around and you see something you've never seen before. Now you're seeing everything on YouTube, and that's the way I mean those companies have to be loving it.
Josh:You're not going to stores. I mean, it used to be the tall giraffe that called you in to get a toy.
Sean:Right Now it's little, jill and Jan are playing with it saying buy it, buy it tell your dad buy it. Here's the affiliate link.
Josh:Yeah, man, I think you're right. Here's the affiliate link. Yeah, yeah, man, I think you're right. There's uh, I mean there is some cool opportunities that that stuff brings, like somebody could buy a toy that you could never afford and you can watch them like experience the opening or whatever the unboxing. I guess there is some cool factor in that. You know, like, I'm not going to buy my son a $1,000 toy, but some asshole kid on YouTube is going to buy that $1,000 toy.
Sean:They got it for free. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Josh:So it's going to make our kids want it, and he's got all the views to pay for it, right, but you know, so I guess there's that. But yeah, I think consumerism in this, you know, post youtube era is going to be, is just weird, um, different than when we were kids, like I don't know. I guess the most expensive thing that I used to ask for when I was a kid was, uh, video games or cds or uh, maybe like pokemon cards, and that was like you know, I'd be asking my parents for like 30 bucks like a video game back. That was like you know, I'd be asking my parents for like 30 bucks. Like a video game back then was like 30, 40 dollars, right, pokemon cards, you know, maybe if you got a whole box of them would have been like 30 bucks.
Sean:Yeah, like the biggest thing was a console.
Josh:Sure, and that was like once every seven fucking years, like it wasn't every couple years.
Sean:But then there was a place called Blockbuster where you didn't have to buy all your games.
Josh:Yeah, right, right, you could rent out games. Man, where did that go? Is there any place that lets you rent games?
Sean:No, but I recently went up into my old room and my parents looking for something and I came across a VHS tape that had Blockbuster on it. Oh shit, across a VHS tape that had Blockbuster on it. Oh shit, If you're watching this Blockbuster If they ever open again.
Josh:I don't want to see what that account is going to be that late fee. I was recently. I saw Pete Davidson's collecting unopened VHS tapes.
Sean:Oh, I saw that too.
Josh:I guess they're worth like $20,000, $30,000 in some occasions. You got any unopened ones there, Josh? No, I mean that's. It's fun to podcast the one thing that.
Sean:Maybe we'll get mats for our chairs. Finally, I never thought about buying the Not Deal here. Buy a movie and not watch it. Well, you know, you're a collector, you're a collector, I am a collector.
Josh:But yeah, Should we talk about your collections or save that for another time?
Sean:I think we saved that one, saved that one. Yeah, that's an episode in itself.
Josh:It's a big topic collections it is.
Sean:But yeah, going back to, I wouldn't change anything with being a husband and being a father. I wouldn't change anything with being a husband and being a father. I think it is a second job. There's times it is a second job, yeah, no doubt. I mean. Work can be stressful, so can home life and choosing to do the right things and making the right choices.
Josh:Yeah, no doubt.
Sean:But not in a bad way, like I'd rather be stressed about making choices at home than be stressed about making choices at work oh really, yeah, I think I'm the opposite bro, you'd rather be yeah work choices and stress at work feels like nothing to me compared to like home stresses and home.
Josh:home decisions right like yeah work, like at work feels like nothing to me compared to home stresses and home decisions Right At work. I don't feel very, very rarely do I feel stressed about something at work.
Sean:And it's not because my job is not stressful Right. It's just because it doesn't matter.
Josh:It doesn't have that impact on me that home issues can have. I guess maybe partially is I don't worry about losing my job. That's true. If I don't do the work that I have to do, my repercussions are pretty low.
Sean:I mean, worst case scenario, my client fires me, but you know next, yeah, and I think that's where work and being a parent at the same time, um like, I always see, uh, what others think of me, so like my work ethic at work and then how my kid acts out, I'm responsible for all of that.
Josh:Do you care about how other people see you?
Sean:No.
Josh:Really. No, you kind of just said you did my work ethic part. Okay, you want them to know that you're not there?
Sean:Yeah, if you're going to give me a job. I'm going to do it 100%. That's how I feel like a father is. If you have a kid, you should give it 100%.
Josh:Okay, fair, yeah. Yeah, I think this is one of the things we are similar on. Is that like we don't really give a fuck what people think about our own appearance, right? Or like how people really think about us in general?
Sean:Like I might care what you think about me at work in my work ethic and I'm always a nice guy and laid-back guy but once I leave work, if you see me out like I don't care what you think about me in that situation yeah, like I am what I am at work professional yeah, yeah, I'm pretty much the same person at work.
Josh:Uh, my professionalism maybe lacks a little bit again, probably because nobody's gonna fire me for the same fuck. But um, but yeah, I just don't. I just don't give a shit what you think you know, I mean like public image. Like I'll, I'll go outside sometimes and grab the mail and you know be wearing, be wearing my pajamas or a fucking wife beater or something, and like you know my wife's, like you're going to go outside, I'm like yeah, don't give a fuck.
Josh:My neighbor has a problem with what I'm getting the mail in, and that's his problem.
Sean:There's nothing on the H-I-S that says I have to dress up to get my mail yeah, fuck that, yeah Well. Says I have to dress up to get my mail yeah, fuck that, yeah, well that. Here's another thing, then, when it comes to parenting, like how do you feel, what route do you take? Correcting your kid out in public?
Josh:smack them. I'm just kidding. Um, okay, correcting bad hate. Yeah, it's tough. So we're both kind of gentle parents in the scheme of things, Like you know. I think that's something we're both alike in as well. Like you know, neither of us are going to actually beat our kids or anything like that. Or, you know, do something. You speak for yourself.
Sean:Okay, all right, all right. Oh, okay, all right, all right.
Josh:But uh, you know, I, I'm, I I try to redirect and like um, uh, model, good behavior and things like that. But If my son's acting up or something and we can't fix it, we just generally leave whatever we're doing.
Sean:Right.
Josh:And we're just getting the fuck out of there. And with my daughter, if she's having a bad time and just screaming, she's one and a half Like what am I going to do? Stop it.
Sean:Right, exactly Nothing I can do there. Yeah, I think, with your son and my daughter at that age, like just leaving the situation.
Josh:Sometimes we have to leave early. It happens less these days, when he was younger. Now the thing is sometimes he, if he, like you know, gets, doesn't get his way when he's out playing with like other kids, at the playground or at the park or something, something goes wrong or he trips and falls. Sometimes he's like real scream, crying like real loud, and then I'm like, oh man, you know, disturbing the peace, we gotta, we gotta pick it up, we gotta, we gotta, I gotta get him to stop. Crying is my thing and I think partially that's because I don't know about you, but my dad was always like quit your fucking crying. Yeah, we weren't allowed to cry. I think that was just like 90s kids. We weren't allowed to cry.
Sean:Well, that's the thing I see people in stores sometimes just screaming and causing a scene and that's not doing anything better. I always felt like getting up close in the face, expressing in a different voice works a little better than embarrassing, I suppose, because by you screaming oh for sure the kid into panic.
Josh:Yeah, no, that's, it makes them even worse. It's terrible to scream your kids, but it's like do you even love this kid, do you? You know, like, what are you doing? Sometimes I really wonder. Like I look at parents in public, I'm like do you even like your kid?
Sean:or what are you doing at home? If you're like screaming this is okay, yeah, wal. If this is okay, yeah, walmart. Yeah, what are you doing?
Josh:Yeah, no, you know, I get it, being frustrated at your wit's end, like it can happen, especially, let's say, you got a lot of kids or something, or you had a real bad day, or you know you're a single parent. I'm sure that shit's hard, but like, yeah, I'm with you. I don't really yell at him, public or not, and I'm not demanding of him to change his behavior. We more or less try to talk about it.
Sean:So recently we went to Target and we went for school clothes shopping, if I can talk, and there was a woman there and she had a cart and there was like a baby sitting up at the top part. There was two kids in the cart and then three boys following them and when I look at that situation I'm like there's no way she's happy with us, because there's no fucking way.
Josh:You think she just regrets everything. Two of the boys. I mean, you don't have six kids without making some decision about having kids, Like she was part of that equation.
Sean:She was part of that equation and there was a decision made on each one and after it looked like two in her life. It was a bad decision for the rest. But two of the boys are kicking each other in the aisle. Next thing I turn around she's yelling at them. They're rolling, wrestling around on the floor. The one that's standing is like kicking at the two. The kids in the car are pulling stuff off the shelves.
Josh:ah, and it's just disaster it's total chaos, yeah like okay, what do you do in that scenario?
Sean:I'm not going to be in this.
Josh:Fucking kids like get, like that's where the buck stops, all right let's say, you're, you're, you're your uncle, right, you're your uncle and, uh, you know you've and you're watching all your nieces and nephews or something. You've got six kids you've got to watch and they're all just fucking disaster, like that. What are you doing?
Sean:I mean, in a setting, in a house, I'm going to be like hey, you two go here, you two go here. You go to here Separate Sit down, don't move until I come. Hey, you two go here. You two go here. You go to here Separate Sit down, don't move until I come and talk to you two. I mean, maybe that works. I don't know, I've never been in that situation, but that would be my plan.
Josh:It sounds pretty good. Yeah, it sounds good.
Sean:And have a discussion with each of them, or separate them and say here's your plan partner, here's your plan partner, right, but you have different designated areas. Okay, and if you can be good Like stations and can be good, yes and if you can be good for those 10 minutes, I'll switch the partners up.
Josh:Oh, and that way all of y'all can play different.
Sean:Oh wow, Now that situation's a little different than this woman being in Target with six kids. She can't really do play partners there, no, and like are you telling me these kids don't do this at home, where you feel safe enough to go by yourself with six kids? And they're right, even if I?
Josh:had six kids. I mean I would, man, it's hard to say right, like maybe she just has no other option, but like I would try to do everything I could to not go shopping take all six at once, well for sure, unless there's six more at home, right, um, but damn, yeah I would.
Josh:I would do everything I could not to go shopping with six. I mean, we just went to the mall yesterday and it just went to with our two and it just felt like just too much. Because you know when you're I feel like when I'm at the mall I'm in high alert like I'm like looking at everybody making sure there's nobody weird coming up, making sure that no one's fucking stealing my wife's purse off her shoulder or something, or your kids were like three feet away, my son is just not like aimlessly walking in a different direction, like I feel.
Josh:Like you know, I'm constantly on high alert in the mall and I could not imagine having more than the two.
Sean:Honestly, any more responsibility, and I probably would have cracked because I was like anxiety there well, and that's where it plays a part when there's two in a home and you and your wife and your kids go out shopping. If your daughter who's younger is not expected to be perfect for two hours straight while shopping, if she has a blow-up or she needs to be walked out, you or your wife can take her out and still 1v1 with with yourself we can kind of 1v1 it yeah but if you go there and you're, you're a dad by yourself or you're a mom by yourself, you have the same situation and that kid starts to cry.
Sean:You got no option. You have no options. Yeah, drop everything or just let the kid cry. Then usually, when the kid starts crying and you're giving all the attention to the baby, then the older kids like hey, I'm still here, I want my shit.
Josh:Yeah, that's why we came here.
Sean:Yeah, yeah, we're going to game, stop mom but you spoke earlier about like playgrounds and I don't know your perception on that. But like if my kid goes to, if my daughter goes to a playground and say there's 10 kids out there, like I can't just sit there 50 feet away and be like go play, like I have to be eyes on the whole time. Yeah, I want to make sure no other kids are mistreating her and I want to make sure she's not mistreating other kids or getting stolen, or getting stolen.
Josh:There's a couple kids that got— Maybe I should have put that first. There's a couple kids that got stolen out of Morgan Grove Park.
Sean:Oh really, yeah, I mean, it doesn't take—I mean it only takes that second to not— Seconds bro.
Josh:Yeah, I mean I would. Yeah, I'm the same way. I mean we used to be called helicopter parents by, like my older siblings or you know random people, friends. We had some friends that were a lot more, you know, laid back parenting styles and you know they would joke that we were like always up close, like when they were on the playground.
Sean:Oh, don't fall, you know.
Josh:So I mean mean, definitely with our first, with our son, it was we were more nervous about that stuff.
Sean:And you know, even still, when we go to the park or something, yeah, I'm, I can't be on my phone or like you know, but there's an age range I feel like elementary like my niece is 10 once my daughter gets 10, 9, 10, like I'm not gonna be that much on her, like I'll lay back some, but I feel like right now I can be there in the moment, if I need to be, to teach her a lesson. Like if two kids get to the steps at the same time and they're arguing and she gets upset. Like it's okay, like you take turns, both of you are going to the same place, right, it's all going to be good. Yeah, like learn that lesson at the same time. Like I still want her to have fun. But also I'm teaching lessons when I'm out there yeah, that's true, I'm with you on that. Not when other kids come in and their parents are like, hey, I'm going use cigarettes, play some solitaire on my phone and if I turn around and you're beating the shit out of another kid.
Sean:Go, Johnny. I mean there's parents like that.
Josh:There is yeah.
Sean:Go learn on your own, but I like lessons being taught in the moment.
Josh:Yeah, no, same way. Definitely, I think we're the same in that way. Definitely, I think we're the same in that way. So I think we're going to plan on doing an episode every week, right?
Sean:Yeah, look at every week. This episode is just more about us. We'll start to get into other topics and specific things to talk about, to get into and specific things to talk about to get into. But this is a little bit of what we are and who we are and the lives that we live right now. So just to get to know us.
Josh:Yeah, and I think we're going to put out another episode this time next week and it'll be on everywhere where you can watch or listen to podcasts and let's see, Is there anything else? The Unlike Podcast.
Sean:Oh yeah, we didn't have to go to Walmart today.
