Oh, Hello. Would You Like Some Feedback?

Negative feedback is something that every writer, designer, musician and artist will face (and so will everyone else, to be honest), so it’s important to learn how to separate yourself from what you create or what you do so that you can build a boundary between what YOU believe about your art - and what other people may say about it. We're unpacking the feelings and the lessons in today's bonus episode.

Amy Shackleton Art - Learn more here.

Until next time, friend. You've got this!

Visit my website here.
I'm on Facebook here.
© 2024 Olive Knits LLC. Olive Knits™, Knit Camp®, and the logo are trademarks of Olive Knits LLC and may not be used without prior written permission. All Rights Reserved.

Transcript

Welcome to Good Enough Creative, a podcast for creative people.

Hi again, welcome back. I’m your host, Marie Greene, and in today’s bonus episode we’re talking about feedback. But not the good kind. Negative feedback can be a real vibe killer. And in some cases, it might be so discouraging that you want to quit completely. But I hope you don’t.

Negative feedback is something that every artist, writer, musician, woodworker and creative will face (and so will everyone else, to be honest), so it’s important to learn how to separate yourself from what you create or what you do so that you can build a boundary between what YOU believe about what you create and what other people may say to you about it. 

There’s an artist I follow online – her name is Amy Shackleton, and she created a really clever style of art – unlike anything I’ve seen other artists do – using squirt bottles filled with paint. She creates rather large pieces that are colorful and graphic and bold; and she has honed the ability to create pretty spectacular work without ever touching the canvas with a brush. Whether her work is the style you enjoy or not, it’s impossible not to be impressed that someone could develop such an incredible skill using something that most of us would consider as a refill bottle for mustard. 

Last year I saw her post the following (these are her words): “At my art opening, a woman approached me and asked if she could criticize my work. Curious, I agreed, as this was the first time in 15 years someone wanted to share negative feedback face-to-face at my opening reception. She proceeded to express that she found my waterfalls amateurish and suggested that I improve them. I smiled and thanked her (because, I’m Canadian). She walked away awkwardly. And I will continue to paint waterfalls the exact same way. The end.”

Her comment sounds like she took the experience in stride, but I’m sure it was both uncomfortable and not super pleasant to have someone come right up to her, face to face, to criticize the work at her art opening. Can you even imagine?

But I’ve had similar experiences. And I think that some people – especially those who have never created anything themselves, imagine that their words will somehow be helpful. I want to sort of say the word “helpful” in quotes, because clearly – it’s not helpful to tell someone their art looks amateur to you. There’s nothing of value in that comment, especially because what they’re criticizing is her style. The style she developed, as a whole new way of creating art. Of course there are other ways to paint waterfalls – of course there are. That’s not the point. If her goal was to paint photo-realistic waterfalls, I doubt she would choose squirt bottles as her medium. 

The truth is, that the loudest critics are the ones who don’t have the courage to put themselves out there. That’s just the bottom line. It’s really easy to stand on the sidelines and tell someone else what a bad job they’re doing. It’s something very different to join in and put yourself on the line. 

So before I even talk about how to weigh and deal with negative feedback, I want to make it really clear that most of the negative feedback you’ll receive is going to be worth what you paid for it. It’s one thing for someone to tell you that they don’t understand your work – that’s honest, and it means they’re trying. But for someone to tell you they don’t like it or that it’s not good is just an opinion, and everyone has one. Opinions aren’t truth. There may be some truth in them, and we can talk about to find that, but not every opinion needs to be heard. 

Understanding Negative Feedback

There is a difference between criticism and feedback.  Criticism points all the focus on the problem. It highlights the problem, but doesn’t provide a solution. This is like telling someone that their painting of a horse doesn’t look anything like a horse. Okay, cool. Thanks for that. Feedback, on the other hand, focuses on helping you recognize what the issue might be, and then providing some ideas to resolve it. This might look like someone saying, “Hey, I noticed you’re painting horses, and one way that you can make them look more realistic is by adjusting the proportions so that the height from the withers to ground is equal the length of body.” Now, listen, I googled that, because I know absolutely nothing about painting horses, but according to my google search, that is a true statement about horse proportions. If you paint horses you can tell if that’s accurate. 

Anyway, do you see the difference there? It’s a very different feel when you come at someone with a criticism as if they’re supposed to a) take your word for it that it’s true, and then b) figure out how to solve that problem, or at least rethink their entire approach to what they’re doing, whether that’s really even the case or not. The second approach clearly comes from a place of both respect AND a desire to help. If you’re going to suggest (especially without being asked) that someone’s painting isn’t realistic, then you should tread carefully. But I think the second approach would feel less like a personal attack and more like a helpful hint. 

To be honest, I don’t think it’s a great idea to go around offering “feedback” or criticism without being asked or being in a position where it’s your job to do so. If you’re a teacher helping a student, they may not know to ask for your advice or feedback, but it makes sense that you’d want to offer it because it’s your job. But most people who take it upon themselves to offer “suggestions” if you want to call it that, don’t really have a reason to be doing so. But if they’re gonna do it, a great approach is to be respectful and helpful. And that’s only if you really feel like you have to say something. 

It's really important to consider the source – the source is going to help you decide if there’s anything valuable in there. If an art expert looks at my work and suggests that my florals are a little too muddy, I might be willing to take that comment and consider it when I paint my next floral piece. But if a stranger who is walking by my booth at a craft fair mumbles under her breath that this is the worst art she’s ever seen, it’s still going to sting, but I’m going to consider the fact that she’s a complete stranger, and may know absolutely nothing about art. The comments will inevitably happen, but we don’t have to receive them. 

It's also important to recognize that our first response will probably be emotional. We’ll feel attacked or embarrassed, we might feel bad about ourselves and what we’ve made, or we might feel defensive. Those are normal feelings. As creatives, we feel a strong connection to what we make – of course we do, because those ideas and the time and the energy – they’re all part of us. And many times what we create comes from a place of wanting to express something within us. So when someone else has something bad to say about it, it’s going to sting. But it’s important to notice the feelings, feel the emotion when it hits, and then choose to let it flow through you. It’ll come in like a big wave, and it will go. And then let yourself choose a rational response, which is to quickly a) ask yourself if it’s actual feedback or just criticism, then, b) consider the source, and then c) ask yourself if there is anything good that you can take from the comment or the experience. 

Sometimes what we can do is filter out the feelings, for a second, and ask ourselves, okay, that comment hurt, but is there anything helpful that I can take from this? I have had my share of both criticism and feedback over the years, and so has anyone who has ever had the courage to put themselves out there. It’s so much harder than it looks. But even a hurtful comment, may have a nugget of something good that you can take from it. What it might be is to discover that craft fairs aren’t for you. Maybe you’re just not that comfortable being up close and personal with the shoppers. Or maybe it’s that you realize that you’re putting your work in front of the wrong audience, and that’s good insight. It’s not a fun way to find that out, but it’s information you can use to create better experiences later on. 

Think of your feedback filter like you’re panning for gold – imagine that you can shake that criticism through your gold pan, and see if any nuggets of anything shine through. If not, it’s all just muck. Let the river wash it away. 

In situations like this, it’s important to have a growth mindset. A growth mindset is focused on your goal, it’s believing in yourself even when other people don’t, it’s knowing that you’re going to run into obstacles and that not everyone is going to love what you make. Expecting only positive feedback isn’t realistic, because even the very best of us possibly appeal to everyone. We’re all different. We like different things. 

It's also important to be cautious about where you put yourself when you’re feeling sensitive about criticism. There will be times that you feel like you can handle it, and times when you might already be struggling to believe in yourself. It’s okay to be cautious and decide if and when you’re open to hearing feedback 

Make sure you have a support system, too. Having people who believe in you and who are cheering for you can really help when criticism threatens to derail you. If you have a creative community, they will be such a good support along the way, because they’ll understand the challenges of making stuff and sharing it with other people. If anyone knows how that feels it’s someone else in the same shoes. Being creative and being an artist can often feel like a lonely journey, and that’s especially true when we’ve received criticism. Because it’s embarrassing and it can make us doubt our abilities and the value or our ideas; it’s really hard not to take it personally. When you hold onto that by yourself, it can feel bigger than it is. When you can share your journey with a friend or in a community that supports you, then often that can help you keep things in perspective and realize that one negative voice does not represent everyone.

SOMETIMES there is a kernel of truth in a piece of criticism or feedback, and our job as artists is to filter out what’s not useful and see if there is anything of value that can help us improve. No one ever arrives to the finish line of their skills – no matter how long you’ve been doing. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been knitting for nearly 40 years because I started as a child, and I’ve been a knitwear designer for more than a decade, and I still run into things that I haven’t learned yet. I was chatting with a close friend of mine who is also a knitwear designer, and we were talking about different techniques, and she casually mentioned one of her favorites and I had honestly never even heard of it. So after our chat, I looked it up and learned more about it. 

Sometimes critique or feedback can give us an idea that really can help us improve our work. Obviously it can be hard to hear the useful part of the comment if it’s packed in a way that feels hurtful, but if there’s anything useful in there, take that one bit, and leave the rest. You don’t have to receive it. Criticism usually has a lot more to do with the person saying it than the person they’re saying it to. 

Remember that the creative journey is going to have some hiccups. It won’t always be sunshine and roses. But – if you can create boundaries around your belief in yourself, then no matter what anyone else might say or think about your work or about you, you’ll be able to keep shining brightly, keep moving forward and hold onto your creative vision for your life. That’s not for anyone else to choose but you.

Until next time, my friend – you’ve got this.