The Three M's of Happiness

In today's episode we're talking about the three M's of happiness, and how making space for these important things will help you feel more joy.

Mentioned in this episode:
Spark by John J. Ratey, MD - click here (affiliate link)
Research about creativity and wellbeing - click here
Research about community and wellbeing - click here
Knit Camp - learn more here

Until next time, friend. You've got this!

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Transcript

Welcome to Good Enough Creative, a podcast for creative people.

Hi again! Welcome back. I’m your host, Marie Greene, and today I want to share a fun idea I came across a few months ago – the three M’s of happiness. So basically the M&M&Ms of happiness. 

Are you ready for this? 

I mean, happiness is hard to distill down into a few simple things, but I also think that sometimes we make things more complicated than they need to be. 

So let’s talk about it!

Here they are, the three M’s: 

Move, Make & Meet

So let’s start right at the top and talk about movement.

We talk about this one a lot, because movement is a really important part of creativity. Whether it’s moving our bodies or changing our environment, movement is how we keep ideas flowing. It’s way too easy to get stagnant when we stay in one spot too long. 

Have you ever lived in the same house for a really long time and then you decide it’s time to move to a new house, and as you start going through your things and packing you realize how much stuff you’ve collected. You start to see your belongings and your home with different eyes. All of a sudden you’re thinking, “Why do we still have this?” or “I could have sworn we got rid of this.” Or you realize you have three of the same thing because they were all stored in different places. Moving, literally, to a new house changes your perspective. 

But moving your body does, too. I do my best thing when I’m zipping through an airport, walking quickly from one side of the airport to another to reach the new gate. Every time I’m in San Francisco airport, I swear that I land in one terminal and have to walk to the exact opposite side of the airport to get to my connecting flight. And as long as I’m not in a hurry because of a short layover, I don’t mind the distance. Because a) I know I’ve been sitting on a plane for a while and my body needs to move, and b) I know that moving briskly through an airport, especially if there’s a long distance to go, will give me time for thoughts and ideas to shake loose and rearrange. 

If it sounds like I think of my brain as a filing cabinet, you’re not wrong. Sometimes it really does feel like that. Movement is momentum. And momentum keeps things flowing. 

But what’s interesting is that this isn’t just about creativity, it’s about happiness. Not only will movement help you produce new and different ideas, but it will also help you mentally work through challenges. 

Studies show that staying active helps to fight depression and anxiety. Physical activity helps us learn and process new information – not just in the moment, but over time, as well. There is a groundbreaking book called Spark by John J. Ratey, MD, that is all about the incredible data that we now have about the effects of exercise and movement on wellbeing, learning, happiness, and success. I’ll link this book in the show notes – I can’t even describe how eye-opening it is. In fact, I wish it was not such a compelling book, because I don’t love exercise (to be honest), but this book really makes a strong case in a way I’ve never heard before. 

So yes, movement is a contributor to happiness – in so many different ways. 

How are you creating opportunities for movement in your day? Many hobbies and creative pursuits are pretty sedentary, so if movement is something you’re not doing very often (I know I’m not doing it enough), make a commitment to move a little more. You don’t have to join a gym – I’m certainly not going to, but you can look for opportunities to move a little bit more. But it might not happen on its own – you have to decide that it’s important, and it is, so you’ll have to consciously make space for it in your day. Even if it’s just 10 or 15 minutes to walk around the neighborhood. 

My friend Erika sent me an article months ago about this idea of squeezing in more activity just by parking further from the door when you go the store. There’s a name for it, which I can’t remember off hand, but the idea is that you just add some extra movement to the things you’re already doing, so that it doesn’t feel like a lot of extra work. But it does still make a difference. 

My business is mostly remote and my team and I work online, sitting at a desk, most of the day. But occasionally we’ll have a real stinker send us an email that is super unsettling or even upsetting. (Side note: please be kind when you send emails – real people are on the other side most of the time.) But anyway, when something happens that is super unsettling, I’ll give the word for everyone to step away from their computer for 30 minutes to an hour. Go on a walk. Shake it off. Take a break. And I’ll tell ya what, every time, I come back to my desk feeling ready to tackle the day again. Movement makes a difference.

Okay, #2 – MAKE.

Of course this one is on here. Being creative is such an important part of our joy as humans. We were both to be creative. Spending time making something with your hands or creating something with your ideas is such a satisfying and soul-filling pursuit. 

We are surrounded by pressure to constantly be productive. To tick boxes. To make lists. And I am the first to admit that I love a good list. I love to be productive. But… being creative isn’t always productive, and it’s just as important. 

We need the opportunity to express ourselves, to share ideas, to translate thought into form. Creativity is what allows us to explore what’s been bottled up. 

According to the National Institute of Health (in a paper which I’ll link in the show notes https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8305859/ ), there is a bidirectional connection between creativity and wellbeing. 

First, that wellbeing contributes to creativity. When we’re feeling great, we’re inspired and often more prone to problem-solving and creative solutions, and just general idea generation. And second, but less studied, that creativity contributes to wellbeing. They ran a variety of tests in this research, but the one that stood out to me the most is that researchers found that participants were happier and more active when they were performing something creative. They also saw a rise in mood from before a creative activity vs after a creative activity.

Being creative, making things, is connected to our overall happiness. But it makes sense, right? And this is why I so highly encourage everyone I know to find ways to be more creative in their lives. Squeeze it into the margins if you have to. My husband is super creative, and for many years we didn’t have the space for the kinds of projects he wanted to make – he loves woodworking, and that does take some space. And it was an amazing difference when we finally moved somewhere that we had the space, and he had the time, to start getting back into woodworking. I could not believe the difference in his mood; his life was missing creativity and he didn’t even realize how much it had affected his joy. He comes bouncing in like a kid after a few hours working on his projects in the garage; I know there are some folks who don’t see themselves as creative, but I’m telling you – most of us can really increase our joy by taking the time to MAKE something. 

Last but not least, the third M is MEET.

Meet up with people. Have a community. Make connections with others. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7585135/ 

According to research (which again, I will link in the show notes), not having a strong, meaningful connection to a community can lead to poor health outcomes and poor wellbeing, across all age groups. Obviously there are many variables that were part of this study, but the overall findings were that having a self-reported strong community connection resulted in better health outcomes and better mental health. In other words, being part of a community can make you happier.

Creating community is one of my superpowers, and I am really passionate about it. Because I can see firsthand the difference that it makes in people’s lives. You can find a community around just about anything – if you love to ride mountain bikes, there are mountain biking clubs. If you love to play certain kinds of games, there are clubs for that, too. 

Five years ago I created a virtual knitting community called Knit Camp and we are still kicking five years later, and although it’s technically a virtual community – we’re app based so most of our connections are happening through our phones or tablets – but the real friendships that happen there, translate into real life connections. My Knit Campers meet up together all around the world, and those friendships have grown to extend well beyond just the shared love of knitting. And that’s the point, right? Being part of a community isn’t just about the thing that brings you together, it’s about the meaningful relationships that you build. And those are integral to our happiness, at any stage of life, but especially as we get older. 

Knowing that you are valued, that people are aware of you and interested in what you’re doing, and that you can also show up with empathy for others and take an interest in them and what they’re doing – these are all so important to your happiness. 

Happiness might seem elusive sometimes, and we’re not going to feel happy ever second of every day. I saw someone ask Oprah Winfrey if she was happy and she said, “Happy-ish” because no one is happy all the time. 

But we can be happy-ish, too. And if you’re feeling isolated or alone or stuck or in a slump  or just out of sync with yourself, remember the three M’s of happiness: Move, Make and Meet. And look for opportunities to do more of those three things, every day or every week. Don’t let too much time pass without moving your body. Don’t go too long between creative projects – keep something easy on hand for when you just need some creative time to reconnect with yourself. And make connections with others – community is so much more important than we realize. I have seen the power of community in my own life, and in the lives of those who are part of the communities I’ve built. I’ve seen it actually change lives, which sounds silly to say about a knitting community, but I’m telling you – there is a real power in finding your people. And if you haven’t found them yet, don’t give up. They’re out there. 

This episode is brought to you by Knit Camp, a warm-hearted, inspiring and cheerful community for knitters all around the world. You can learn more about Knit Camp in the show notes. 

Until next time, my friend, you’ve got this.