The Protectors® Podcast

#486 | Gene O'Neill | "You Got This" | A First Responder's Journey of Courage, Cancer, and Resilience

Dr. Jason Piccolo Episode 486

Send us a text

Gene O'Neill joined the show to talk about his battle with cancer from responding to 9/11. The narrative of any life can change in the span of a heartbeat, yet it's the strength we draw from those around us that can chart the course ahead. Gene's visceral recount of the day his world shifted—believing a battle with kidney stones was at hand, only to face the grim reality of cancer—underscores the fragility of our well-being. His experience is a profound reminder of the importance of medical expertise, the necessity of support systems, and the sheer weight of confronting our own mortality. Through Gene's openness, we gain insight into the silent struggles that many heroes like him endure and the humbling hand of support that can turn a fight for life into a journey of hope.

Support the show

Make sure to check out Jason on IG @drjasonpiccolo


Speaker 1:

You know you gotta hit me more. Hey, welcome to the Protectors Podcast. You gotta hit record, especially when you got Geno Neal on the other part of them bike today. This is great, man, we actually finally get to talk to you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, thank you. I'm so excited for having me back. It's always fun when we co-host it. I hope it's as much fun this time.

Speaker 1:

Oh, we're gonna put the mic on you, brother. We're gonna put the lights on you, we're gonna put the spotlight. We're gonna be doing the interview and interrogation of Geno Neal today.

Speaker 2:

Oh my goodness, I knew I should have brought representation, but I'll answer your questions, officer.

Speaker 1:

Well, you are free to leave at any time. Yeah, you had to write your maize sign down, but, gene, this is gonna be a. I was trying to. Sometimes I like to plan some interviews, and some I like to wing it, and some I know the guest. With you. It's like I tried to plan this one because this is a very important interview for me Probably one of the most important ones I've done is because this topic is one that's affected everybody I know everybody, especially with you. It's even more because it has to do with 9-11.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, it does. It's harder to think about the ripples and the third and fourth order effects of that event more than 20 years later, but here we are 20 years.

Speaker 1:

It's been more than 20 years now.

Speaker 2:

It's been 23 years. It'll be this September.

Speaker 1:

So let's get back to there. You were in Jersey at the time.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was in Jersey. I was working for an emergency medical services agency in a little known town called Newark, if you've probably been through our airport. But anyhow, we're not trying to make this a 9-11 story. But somewhere around 9 am on September 11th 2001, my phone rang. I was at home. I was dropping off my son at daycare, I had just come off a 7P to 7A working on the technical rescue unit and I had been recalled because New York City needed help, just to fast forward through the next month or so, because there are many, many more interesting tales of terrorism and bravery that come with that time.

Speaker 2:

On the 11th, the group I was with established a beachhead at the Hoboken Transit Terminal. I think you traveled through there not too long ago. If I remember from the photos, that was one of the main evacuation points for floating stock that was leaving New York City. One of the more attractive ways out of Lower Manhattan at that point was by ferry or anything that floated Hoboken. They thought their forces would probably be overwhelmed. We were sent in. We were actually on our way into Manhattan when we got rerouted and sent to reinforce them. We spent the next 14 or 15 hours, probably demobbed around 3 am. In the course of that we triaged about 8,036 people, all came to us off of ferries and then went back to Newark re-equipped, got new gear, got new clothes, got showers, and by the next day most of our folks were in Manhattan. That's where we stayed for the next month or so.

Speaker 1:

A month or so and there are tons of stories about 9-11, tons of heroic stories. There's tons of stories of heroes like you. Yeah, you are. You went in there the recovery. I know people that were civilians have volunteered for this that are dealing with the same types of issues that you have. It's because you went into it somewhere and you think it's going to be safe. Now do we know things about particulate matters? Back then, not so much. Not so much. The biggest things we had for large scale was Agent Orange. Then you have Gulf War Syndrome. How do you tie Gulf War Syndrome into first responders and particulate matters on ground zero?

Speaker 2:

It was one of the images that sticks with me till today. I went over on the 12th beautiful day, cloudless, absolutely cloudless. We went through the Holland Tunnel and we went in on the Jersey side, probably around 3 pm. When we came out on the New York side, all of a sudden it was nighttime. There was no sun penetrating the cloud. There was no sunlight making it the street level. That's how thick things were. That is what I remember about that moment was. It was like you were in a time machine. You went into the Holland Tunnel during the day and you came out at night.

Speaker 1:

When you talk about what's in the air and that's one thing I've talked about on the show before is about toxic exposure and what particulate matters are it's like you could have PPE on personal protective equipment. You would have to be. We're talking a month at a time here. It's not realistic when you have these small minute. They're negative to the visible eye, they are microscopic and they get into your lungs and they embed themselves and it's not natural.

Speaker 2:

It's not there. They're there forever. That is every Every CAT scan I've had of my chest since 2006 has noted that there are nodules, what they call them branch and bulb return, like that smart people stuff and that that are, that are present and Indicative of particulate inhalation and what are they?

Speaker 1:

glassy, opaque surfaces.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And how do I know? This is from the burn pits, and that's the same thing. It's the same type of toxic materials. When you're talking about Anything and everything that goes into buildings, into the air, and when it, when it collapse it just in the air and it gets into your lungs and it gets embedded there, and then what happens is, years later, you start, you start getting cancers, different types of cancers, and that's one thing that I really wanted to talk to you about today, because You're battling it again, but this isn't your first time. I mean, no, let's, let's walk through the whole. I really want people to understand, because to me, cancer has always been like this thing, mm-hmm. It's been like. I know so many people that have it. I know so many. It affects so many people. It just how did you Find out what was like when this first happened? Was it like you know? Hey, you know what I feel? Really tired, I, something's going on, it's, it's. I mean, listen, we're always tired. That's why we're drinking.

Speaker 2:

Always tired the, the coffee pot and the. The pourover is never far away On October 30th 2019. I arrived, I let's let's just do some very shallow background. I am a federal law enforcement officer. I work for a rather small and unique law enforcement shop in a regulatory agency. In 2018, we were lucky enough to get relocated down here to the schoolhouse at the federal law enforcement training center in Brunswick, georgia, and Things were rolling along swimmingly.

Speaker 2:

And on October 30th 2019, I got to the center of my usual 5 am. I went to the gym, I got my workout in. We were on a heavy deadlift bench press regimen at that point, cocked concocted by a coach named Dan John. If you're an over 30 athlete looking to get stronger, look into his books. Dan John two first names doesn't make them weird. Anyhow, I go for my usual workout. I go to the office, I jump in the shower, I get out of the shower, I get dressed and I'm doubled over with abdominal pain, the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. This is if. If the scale is a one to ten, this is easily a 14, and so I've got to make some choices I can wait for. I can wait for my co-workers to get in and Find me. I Can call 911, but that doesn't seem to really suit me.

Speaker 2:

I came up with the brilliant plan of I will drive myself this six miles home To find the fair Larissa and then we'll sort this problem out together. So I get in the Jeep, a drive home. She says oh, sounds like kidney stones. I Trust Larissa's diagnostic Acumen always 30 years as an ER nurse. Last seven of those is a sexual assault nurse examiner. She says you got kidney stones. I said you know what? I'm the right age and the right lifestyle. Let's go to the hospital and get this fixed. So we go to the. We go to the ER here in Brunswick and they're like oh yeah, classic kidney stone presentation, bro, let's get you cat scan. So they throw me through the cat scanner and then and then the. For the first time in my life I had narcotic pain relief. Hmm, and it is easy to understand why people get into trouble with this stuff, because it is like slow dancing with Jesus. So, manage the pain, get the cat scan back.

Speaker 2:

Larissa and all her friends are in my room. We're kind of having a good time. We're all talking, pain's gone and um, the doctor walks in with the cat scan report. And here's a. Here's a fun fact to know and tell. You'll understand this from the next two minutes. He sits down on the on the on the garbage can In the in the room. Now I've seen this phenomenon before. When people have to deliver uncomfortable news, they try and make themselves physically comfortable to do that. With Larissa tying up the only chair in the room, he had to find somewhere to sit, so he sat on the garbage can. So the second he sat on the garbage can, I realized that this was gonna blow my high out of the water and he said I'm not sure how to tell you this, but you have kidney cancer. So I went from Dead lifting at 5 30 in the morning till it is now 8 30 and I have cancer.

Speaker 1:

Jesus. And you know what's crazy is I worked with you at the time and I didn't know any of this was going on. I didn't even you know I. It was kind of like you hear the murmurs, but people don't like, and that's the thing, is one of the reasons I want to have you on today. He says people don't like to talk about themselves. Normal people, I mean normal people. We know there's a bunch of people out there. I love hearing themselves talk when it comes to this topic and kidney cancer and You're, and you know, one thing that really hit me is we met up for coffee a few weeks ago and you said you know, everybody says, oh, you got this, you got this, you're gonna, you're gonna get through this, you got this.

Speaker 1:

And it's like you told me something and I'm like okay, this is, this is Jean. I'm like I know Jean, jean's got this, he got it before you know he's, he's done this, he's strong, he's, you know, from Jersey, cuz they you know Jersey, but but you know the thing is, um, you think, you think you know and you think you know what other people are saying. You think, but when you're talking about something that's internal and you're talking about, like, at this point you're like the kidney and yeah, with your background, you know that's even worse, like you know. You know, because you have that medical background, you understand these things. So what's that? What's going through your mind at that point?

Speaker 2:

well we. It was a rather quiet ride home because they discharged me right after that. They're like your pains managed. There's really nothing we're gonna fix here. Here's a. Here's a couple of perc set to take with you. Here's a prescription for a couple more. We're gonna refer you over to oncology and urology. And the next day I am seen by by the chief of urology at that hospital and he looks at the films and he says, yeah, yeah, can't help you here. This is bad. This is the chief of urology, sister, I. We're not a good enough hospital to tackle what's wrong with you, holy crap. So so I get an almost instant referral, and one of the one of the fortunate things about this entire incident is that we realized our proximity to the Mayo Clinic, and there's a Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville and I was. I was probably Two weeks later. I was in with with one of their urologists.

Speaker 1:

I got referred to Mayo, met with their urologist, the Really, you know, I I don't want to gloss over this it's the emotional impact, because now you know, when you first brought this up now, when you responded to 9-11, your child was in daycare. Yeah, this is 17 years later. So now you're dealing with your kids, probably an adult, you got family, you know. You, you have other people that are in this sphere, and that's what the thing about cancer is. Like you, you kind of going to this, this mode of okay, we're gonna deal with it, I'm gonna deal with it, they're gonna deal with it. But everybody's probably like, how do they approach you? I mean, to me, when I hear someone has cancer, I'm like, ah, shit, bro, sorry, I'm like I don't know what to say. I, I, I would.

Speaker 2:

I would like to tell you that there were, there was no moments of self-doubt, that there was no, that there was no anger, that there was, that I I was just.

Speaker 2:

You know that I was, I was a stoic about this, but that would be a lie. The first thing I thought about was I'm gonna, I'm gonna there. The possibility exists that I'm dead before my youngest kid gets to high school. The possibility exists that I'm dead before my, my son, is married. I was so angry on diagnosis day and, like many of the Irish, I don't process anger well, I tend to lash, and I couldn't necessarily lash out at the fair Larissa. She was working hard to cope as it was. So I sat there with my iPad and I found Christie Whitman and apparently, well, at that point she was running a she's running a lobbying firm in DC. And right there on their page you click the link and it opens up an email window to Christie Whitman, who was the administrator of the EPA at that point in time 9-11. And I wrote her probably the angriest 600 words I've ever written in my life and I hit send. I don't ever listen to Abraham Lincoln. I don't write mean letters and then not send them. I write mean letters and I send them twice and just in case, the mailman took the day off and I am a wreck and I send this letter or this email. I would like to tell you that I was a stork through it all, but I wasn't.

Speaker 2:

I fell apart, got a bunch of times where it just all, it all just comes apart at the seams, where you get told there's not much we can do, that you're already in advanced stage three. I remember when we met with oncology they said, well, you're very far into stage three. And I said, well, at least I got two stages to go. And no one says anything. And we get home and we're sitting on the couch and I said to Larissa, well, at least I have two stages to go. And she said, no, no, no, sweetie, there's only four stages. And I'm like, well, well, crap, how do you have an even number of stages? This is bullshit. And even number? You can't do an even number. There's five stages of grief, there's all this stuff. Why? Either way, there's always people and I've been an open book about this. I have never in the workplace. If people have asked me about it, I will tell them about it. If they ask me about the journey. I will tell them about the journey, if there's one piece.

Speaker 2:

There are strange things that come along with having cancer. One of them is there's an enormous amount of driving involved, like if you know someone who, just who outs themselves and says I've been diagnosed with cancer, probably the most thoughtful gift you can get them in the first week, so that is a gas card. Because there's just an incredible amount of driving. I don't understand it. It's happened to everyone I know that's had cancer. You're just behind the wheel all the time.

Speaker 2:

The other thing I learned is there is no value in the following phrase, and that is you've got this, bro. It's usually a comma and then a bro, you've got this bro. And that phrase is said to you a lot, mostly because cancer is an uncomfortable conversation and when people are uncomfortable they will either find a position of comfort or manufacture a position of comfort. And when, in your mind, when you manufacture that, it is by saying like I know that you, what you say, what you think you're saying is I know that you're a strong person and that you have a great support system and that the medical industry will be right in line with everything you need, but every time I heard that I didn't. I didn't hear that I heard I'm on my own.

Speaker 1:

There is no, on your own. I mean, yeah, you can have the best support network around, you can have a family, but they're they're trying to process this as well. And then you're going to get that group of people like well, how can I make this about me? I mean, that's a truth. I mean seriously. I hate to be a realist about this, but it's the reality.

Speaker 2:

It is. It is. People will say they're. You know well the well. My uncle had kidney cancer and he did this. Or my, my aunt, had cancer in the ankle and this happened to them. Or I had a.

Speaker 2:

I worked the radio car with a guy with cancer, or the wrist, it's, it's, there's no, there's no Pat language for it. When and this, this could happen to anybody. This could, this could be happening to you, right, Dear listener. This could be happening to you at home. You could be working the radio car with somebody who looks over from the recorder seat and says went to the doc today, I have cancer.

Speaker 2:

Please don't make your response. You got this, bro. Make your response. Think about this. Think of, just please think about it for a second. I know that with help and support, you can beat this. I have faith in your ability to prevail. But there's a whole lot of you got this, bro, and there is not a point in the last five years, as referred. You know, when we talk about the cancer where I thought I had this, my oncologist had it, the surgeons had it, Larissa had it, the guy who brought me the orange juice in the recovery room had it. I most certainly was not in control of anything, and I'm a bit of an enthusiast when it comes to control.

Speaker 2:

So, that would go.

Speaker 1:

I know you are and that's the toughest thing about like when I talk to you about this it's different, because I know you. You're very meticulous. Even when we do an interview with other people, when you've co-hosted, you always have your notes. You're always ready to go. There's no winging it. It's almost like you have an op plan ready to go, but when it comes to something like this, you can't plan for it. It's something going on in your body.

Speaker 1:

Now let's backtrack to. You start going to the Mayo Clinic and then I always hear so much about chemo and I always hear so much about like, stage three, stage four, stage four being obviously the worst to me. I guess you go the other way. You know you have stage one. It's like, oh shit, you're the first place. But when you go there, it has to be a surreal experience, because you're looking around at all these other people that are going through chemo and you're hearing about people fighting it, or you hear about people losing to it. You hear about the people that are in remission. What was that experience like?

Speaker 1:

Okay, Well and unfortunately, you know. The reason I'm saying this is because a lot of the listeners out there they might be. You know, with 9-11 burn pits and everything else. You just don't know when it's going to affect them.

Speaker 2:

No, I mean, I thought I was out, I thought I had gotten away clean, I thought everybody I knew from then who had cancer had cancer and you know, this was one bullet I was going to dodge and boy was I wrong. The it is you consistently search for something to be grateful for, right. You consistently start. Once I was through being angry, I had to formulate a plan, I had to execute that plan and I had to make sure that everything was covered. We, the way I have survived. This is and it sounds, it sounds hackney, but it is through a state of constant humility.

Speaker 2:

The Mayo Clinic leads probably the world in many, many things Cancer research and cancer treatment being one of them. At the center in at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, florida, they have three, I think, buildings now dedicated to nothing but cancer treatment and research. But there it's the show. When I feel like shit. When I had to go, sit in that waiting room and wait, right, we, we didn't end up in chemo right away in 29 November 19, 2019. We go into the Mayo Clinic and they remove my left kidney, kidney, kaboom, pull the whole thing and we think we're clean, right, we got clean margins, everything's cool. Go back from my quarterly scans in July and, as it worked out, it had migrated to my left lung and we spotted it on the July scans.

Speaker 2:

August of 2020, I have a section of my left lung removed and up until that point, we had not considered chemo because it was a single organ. They had clean margins. We didn't think any of it had gotten away. They had taken out every lymph gland that connected my kidney to anything else. But some of it got away, so we lost a piece of the lung. Brilliant surgeon, brilliant, brilliant surgeon, whose name will come to me eventually. That's how brilliant he is. I can't remember his name. Anyhow, august of 2020, we lose a piece of lung.

Speaker 2:

We decide that okay, well, we're going to have to do systemic treatment because it's obvious some cancer got away, which brings us to the waiting room at the Mangorian Building, which I call the Mandalorian Building, at Mayo and I do that to annoy the Mayo people because they are rather proper and I'm sitting in this waiting room at oncology and I am feeling like crap. You know, here is in under a year, I've gone from being a cop, being in the gym, going to jujitsu, doing all the things I wanted to do with my life to. I'm missing a kidney, I'm missing a piece of lung, and now I'm going to start chemo. So I am not in the best headspace and I'm sitting in this waiting room and I'm trying to figure this out and I'm trying to figure what my angle is and I realized that I was the healthiest son of a bitch in that fucking waiting room or in a collection of 70 or 80 people. I'm the healthiest looking one there. Well, that's a lot to be grateful for, right. So we started chemo in November of 2020 and we continued that through November of 21. So 12 treatments altogether, once a month, and that was an experience they used.

Speaker 2:

Immunotherapy is one of the agents they use against kidney cancer and it's. There are less side effects than your typical toxic agents, but there are still side effects. So in a year, I go from fairly healthy no warning signs, no, nothing. In under a year, I'm missing a lung, I'm missing a piece of lung, I'm missing a kidney, I'm on chemo, I can't do anything I want to do, I can't go to jujitsu, I can't lift, I can't run, I can't do anything, and that's humbling. And then probably, oh God, we're in the height of COVID at this point. So this is being in and around hospitals is not fun. Oh yeah, surgeon's name Ian Mackie Mackie. Ian Mackie, m-a-k-e-y Mackie, brilliant dude.

Speaker 2:

So I go through a year of chemo and there are ups and there are downs. There are times where I walked out of chemo and said I felt great. And then there are times where I walked out of chemo, I sat in the truck and I said, oh, I'm not going to be able to make the drive home. I got to call Laressa. I tried to set things up so it would have a minimum impact on my job. Like I said, we were at the height of COVID. Things were very difficult at FLETC during COVID as far as student life and staff life. I wanted to have a minimum impact. If I had to reexamine that again, I would not have been that considerate.

Speaker 1:

That's one thing I was going to ask you too about is you know this is during COVID. This is during there's not a lot of familial contact that you could have. It's your typical support system, your typical support network, even if it's just going to grab a bite or something with a friend and just busting each other's chops or anything, any type of humor, any type of anything. And obviously you're putting a lot of pressure on certain people in your life because that's the only people you have and you try to be considerate. I know you, you try to be considerate, and then I know what you're thinking about with the FLETC thing and everything back then. And but your anchor, what kept you grounded? Did anything keep you grounded?

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's this. The fair Larissa is an incredible person. Without her, I'm not sure whether I would have survived this. My partner, my confidant, my advocate. Just to backtrack slightly, I beg you, if you're going in the hospital, bring someone who cares about you, because there will be a point where you cannot argue on your behalf and you'll need someone to argue on your behalf, and you want to have a Larissa in your corner, but without her and a couple of neighbors and people like Heath at work, who never let me get stuck in my head, and people like Jeremy at work, who didn't let me get stuck, and Terry, who were all with these. Even though we could not see each other daily as we had, they always made sure that there was daily contact, that at least we exchanged some words, that we got on the phone, that we talked, that we did something. So I could feel that there was a connection there, because humans are a herd animal, their tribal depends which episode of my Clover's podcast you're listening to, but we are all one big tribe and without that contact, and especially if you are in a time of crisis, that contact becomes crucial, because the worst thing to feel is you're in trouble and there's no one there, and luckily I have a friend group you included, jason who never let me forget that there are always people out there. There's always at least someone to talk to, and that's what kept me going that in reading.

Speaker 2:

Believe it or not, when I was in the hospital in May in November 2019, I was there for an extended amount of time.

Speaker 2:

There were complications with the operation and so I was at the hotel Mayo for a little while and to that meant I was basically alone for about 12 hours a day. Larissa has a career. She was building a sexual assault response program at that point in our county, and so I would spend a lot of time in the iPad, because Mayo has great Wi-Fi and I'm watching, of all things, a field craft survival video on the thing, and I used to kind of cover it up when the nurses came in. But there was this dude who was working nights and he comes in and he sees what I'm looking at. He says, oh, if you like that stuff, you should read the terminal list. So I got the Kindle off the nightstand there and I opened it up and I went to the store and I found the terminal list and I started reading and I had my nose in a book every day, since it really one of the benefits was COVID, and this disease really reignited my love for the written word.

Speaker 1:

I think it's time for you to write your own book. Oh, who would buy that crap? Oh, come on, at least you'd have one or two people buy it. I'll buy that book. We'll write it together. Yeah, you have a lot of stories, you have a lot of experience and you have a lot to say and you do have a background in this stuff. You do have a lot of knowledge when it comes to cancer because, unfortunately, you know, we were talking the other day and you're battling again and that really caught me off guard.

Speaker 2:

Well, what happened was we'd had we discontinued chemo because there was no new sign of disease. We'd get cat scans more often than a member of the men in black, and so there was no sign of disease. So we discontinued chemo in November of 2021 and life pretty much went back to normal for us. We were able to travel, we were able to go places Larissa loves to go on cruises, she loves to travel with our friends. We went to Costa Rica. Things were really, really going well and we basically got our lifestyle back. Everything was running smoothly.

Speaker 2:

And then, in October of 2023, the scan didn't come back clean and Out of time out. We were. I went for my usual CAT scan and we're. This is where technology works against us, ladies and gentlemen. We're sitting outside the Starbucks at the Mayo Clinic, myself and Larissa, and I'm thumbing through my phone and you know, you've got pretty much open access to your whole health record through this portal stuff and any healthcare organization and then CAT scan report hits. Oh, my God. Well, let's give this bad boy a look. Been nothing new. Oh, there's a new tumor in my left lung. Okay, wow, wish I hadn't read that. Really wish I hadn't read that. Wish I'd waited for the doc to tell me, but I didn't, so I knew it was probably two or three hours before we were due to see the oncologist, so we got to sit in that for a while. So oncology got referred back to cardiothoracic surgery, dr Ian Mackey, and on December 1st of 2023, I went back into the Mayo Clinic and they removed half of the lower half of my left lung In and out of the hospital in 24 hours, which they won't confirm but I believe is a hospital record. They were less than happy that I decided that I no longer wished to be there, but they did discharge me. I didn't escape. I got paperwork to prove it.

Speaker 2:

The morning of the surgery, my good friend Andrea came to town to help us. So she flew in from Houston to help us and we were talking in pre-op and with the surgeon and I said I'm gonna be out here. This is a Friday, december 1st of Friday. I said I'm gonna be out of here. I'm gonna be out of here probably in time to see the Georgia game tomorrow. And he went no, and I, you know, that's it. I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna find when I get in there, mr O'Neill, and I said I gotta, I gotta. So when I wake up they tell me they took half the lung and I said, so, okay, that's cool, when can I get out of here? And they said, well, you have a chest tube. And I said I'm aware. They said, well, we're gonna need you up and walking. I said, oh, super cool, excellent, excellent. Give me a cart for the chest tube and we're up and down the hallway all night long, drove the nurses up a wall, which is actually my entire hospital. Strategy is I drive the nurses up a wall and I get out of there pretty quick. So we're home by Saturday 4 pm I get discharged, so about 30 hours total in the hospital.

Speaker 2:

We've been waiting to recover some of my capability and we start chemo. We're restarting chemo on Monday morning. As a matter of fact, this coming Monday. We're gonna try a different agent this time and see how that does. But you know, cancer, you're pretty much waiting for no news. That's what you're waiting for. You're waiting for the report that says there's nothing there. The scary part is, when you're always waiting for growth, you're waiting to hear news of new growth. So we are gonna continue to work towards no new tissue growth, no new tumor growth. I wish I could tell you I felt like I did on December, on the morning of December 1st 2023. But I don't. I get tired a little easier. I tried jujitsu two weeks ago and while the foundational knowledge is there, the cardiovascular capability is not. So we're gonna have to figure our way through that. But we'll get there. We're gonna start. We're gonna start chemo on Monday. We're gonna see where that takes us.

Speaker 1:

And then we're gonna do some more shooting and we're gonna do things to keep your mind up. We're gonna drink a lot of coffee, because if one thing Jean loves it's coffee.

Speaker 2:

Yes, coffee fixes everything. It does Just about everything. I got some new stuff you gotta try. The PSD guys went to Africa and one of the guys brought me back African beans. So next time you're in town we gotta grind those up.

Speaker 1:

That sounds good to me. I'm coming up in a few weeks.

Speaker 2:

Cool, but we're gonna do chemo, we're gonna press forward, we're gonna make good plans, we're gonna execute those plans.

Speaker 1:

That's one thing I really want, like kind of like this conversation is like how do you prepare for this? And the other thing is like you do have a different mentality than, let's just say, normal civilian that gets cancer. They get it and they don't understand how to plan. You have to plan. I mean, unfortunately, you have to plan a little thing. So it could be like okay, I gotta get up tomorrow morning, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, I gotta do this, I gotta you know. It could be as simple as okay, I'm gonna plan my day, I'm gonna wake up in the morning, I gotta drink a cup of coffee, I gotta take this pill, that pill, this pill. The less that you have to worry about, the more your mental space, I think, could be better. I mean, obviously it's gonna be devastating, but having just a little bit of a plan, I think that it seems to have helped you.

Speaker 2:

It has, incredibly, the tagline to my email. My work email is a quote from President Dwight D Eisenhower and it says and I'm paraphrasing here because I don't have it in front of me but it says plans are meaningless, planning is everything. If you are not planning, you are never gonna succeed. Right, it's not the plan, it's the effort, it's the planning. I'm sure the smarty pants, owls like Jocko and all those folks they've got much more insight into this, but I will tell you, what kept me going was the fact that I needed to formulate a plan for tomorrow, and tomorrow I'd have to formulate a plan for the next day. And I just got through it 24 hours at a time until I could stand up again. And then I stood up and now I'm standing. So what's the plan now? The plan is I'm gonna start walking, and I walked. And then what's the plan then? Well, now we're gonna travel and we're gonna go back out and see the world again, and we did that.

Speaker 2:

So putting the effort in planning is an investment in the future. It is a promise to yourself that you're gonna be here tomorrow to execute the plan, because the people that you let down because the plan didn't get executed might not even know that they were included in the plan. It just you have to figure out what tomorrow is gonna bring you and you've got to point yourself towards it. I'm a firm believer in keeping it in today. In keeping it in today but facing forward. It's wonderful to center on this moment that's occurring now, but there'll be a moment after that moment. There'll be a moment after that moment. There'll be a day after this day, and you have to make yourself a promise that you will be here for that day.

Speaker 1:

Well, you're gonna have to be here for that day because I need my co-host. You can't go anywhere. Every time I have authors on Andrews and Wilson or anybody, I need my co-host.

Speaker 2:

Those guys have been great through this. They sent me a box I promise you, jason they sent me a box that when the mailman dropped it off, a he cursed me out and B I was fairly sure that it contained a coffin. That's how big the box was in that care package. Those guys back this is their hat, those guys went all out and Jack Kars and an inscribed book. Lots of people that you and I have talked to together have been out there to support this effort and I am super appreciative of that. But here's the deal If you, larissa, bought me a T-shirt a couple of months ago yeah, actually a couple of months ago that simply reads Alive Out of Spite. And what's the quote from Melville? From hell's own heart, I stab at thee and for spites own sake, I spit at thee. And that and a solid plan will get you through a lot.

Speaker 1:

Gene, I really appreciate this conversation today, brother.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I'm looking forward to seeing a couple of weeks.

Speaker 2:

Yes, anything else you wanna touch on, or are you good, if you or anyone you know is? There is a surveillance and treatment program for World Trade Center Responders. Just type it into your favorite search engine, you'll be able to find it. If you are affected, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I really am, but it's a process and it's survivable. I personally know of two people who live within 12 miles of where I'm talking to you today who had the same cancer I did and were dead a year later. You just have to look towards tomorrow. If you've got something to care about and you've got people to take care of, and when you feel absolutely shitty, when things are completely underwater, go find somebody to help Anybody, hold the door for somebody, give somebody directions, do anything for anybody besides yourself, and you'll be surprised how good that will make you feel. Thank you, jason. I really appreciate this opportunity.

Speaker 1:

I love you brother.

Speaker 2:

I love you too, man.

People on this episode