Rumination can be very difficult to deal with and can negatively impact your day to day happiness. This week, Lisa and Brad discuss how to recognize rumination and how to better cope with it, when it appears.
Ever found yourself trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts that just won't quit? That's the rumination rollercoaster, and it's a ride many of us know all too well. Join us as we dissect this sneaky cognitive loop that masquerades as problem-solving but actually hinders our mental health and relationships. Reflecting on our own battles with these persistent thought patterns, we dive into the nuances that separate rumination from worry and obsession. More importantly, we're here to equip you with the know-how to recognize when your brain is stuck on replay and share actionable strategies to help manage and alleviate the relentless cycle.
Have you ever wished you could turn down the volume on your overthinking? We get it, and we've been there. That's why this episode is not just about understanding rumination; it's about transforming our approach to it. With an empathetic nod to the human psyche, we discuss how to embrace mindfulness techniques that can steer your thoughts toward calmer seas. Hear about the personal journey of reducing overthinking by a significant margin, and discover how mantras and reflective questioning can serve as your anchors. By tuning in, you'll learn the art of catching yourself mid-spiral and consciously redirecting your mind to the present—because sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and breathe. Don't forget to subscribe for more episodes focused on fostering a healthier, more centered you.
Rumination can be very difficult to deal with and can negatively impact your day to day happiness. This week, Lisa and Brad discuss how to recognize rumination and how to better cope with it, when it appears.
Ever found yourself trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts that just won't quit? That's the rumination rollercoaster, and it's a ride many of us know all too well. Join us as we dissect this sneaky cognitive loop that masquerades as problem-solving but actually hinders our mental health and relationships. Reflecting on our own battles with these persistent thought patterns, we dive into the nuances that separate rumination from worry and obsession. More importantly, we're here to equip you with the know-how to recognize when your brain is stuck on replay and share actionable strategies to help manage and alleviate the relentless cycle.
Have you ever wished you could turn down the volume on your overthinking? We get it, and we've been there. That's why this episode is not just about understanding rumination; it's about transforming our approach to it. With an empathetic nod to the human psyche, we discuss how to embrace mindfulness techniques that can steer your thoughts toward calmer seas. Hear about the personal journey of reducing overthinking by a significant margin, and discover how mantras and reflective questioning can serve as your anchors. By tuning in, you'll learn the art of catching yourself mid-spiral and consciously redirecting your mind to the present—because sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and breathe. Don't forget to subscribe for more episodes focused on fostering a healthier, more centered you.
Hello and welcome to Just One Thing. I'm Brad Stearns, here with Lisa Stearns, and we're your hosts on this weekly exploration of simple ways to enhance your relationships, improve your health, manage your stress and just be happier. Now settle in while we discuss Just One Thing. Good day, good morning, hello, good day. This is the next episode of Just One Thing.
Speaker 1:
Just One Thing is the podcast of Mindful Living Today. You can find us on Facebook as the Mindful Couple. We have a great Facebook group. We'd love you to join Mindful Living Today with Lisa and Brad. We're on Instagram as well, and that is all for the moment.
Speaker 1:
Today we are going to talk about rumination. We'll talk a little bit about what rumination is, how it can be detrimental and really how to deal with it. So I'm entitling this how to deal with rumination, or dealing with rumination. This is something that we wanted to talk about because oftentimes we find people who don't even realize that they're ruminating and what it can do to you and how it's probably not the best thing that they can do to this.
Speaker 1:
I ruminate a lot and so I don't know that I have particularly effective ways of dealing with rumination, but I try. It's one of those areas where I think practice makes you better, but I don't know that it's something that you can truly eliminate. At least I haven't been successful so far.
Speaker 2:
It's just awareness, like everything.
Speaker 1:
Why don't you talk a little bit about how you define rumination and sort of why you wanted to talk about it this morning or afternoon? Because I don't want people to know what time this is.
Speaker 2:
I think rumination is one of those things that people don't understand or even know that they are experiencing, and it can cause a great deal of anxiety. It can cause a great deal of stress, for those around you.
Speaker 1:
So why don't you tell me how you define what you think rumination? Is oh, sorry, didn't answer your question, that's alright, because people may not know that they do it, because they may not even know what it is.
Speaker 2:
I was going to get there, but we'll come at it from the front end. So to me and it's not just my definition I mean rumination, and ruminating thoughts are those that you find repetitive thoughts. There are things that you think over and over again, that you can't get out of your mind, or they keep popping up and I think of it as something like that you keep chewing at.
Speaker 2:
It's just like something that keeps coming up and you're like oh maybe if I do something this way it'll be better, or maybe if I do something that way it'll be different.
Speaker 1:
So is it the same as worry?
Speaker 2:
I don't think a lot of people think of it as worry.
Speaker 1:
Well, I was thinking about it. I was looking at different definitions and there are enough variability there that I kind of equate it with worry, but it's sort of a repetitive kind of worry. It's a repetitive thinking, right and when I was thinking about it, because I ruminate a lot and oftentimes it is associated with anxiety but not exclusively so. There are times when I just ruminate, ruminate, ruminate, but it doesn't really have those feelings of anxiety or fear or upset that typically.
Speaker 2:
Well, when you mention that, I'm curious, though if you choose to stop ruminating, would that make you anxious? Well, I'm out here writing Because that's what the anxiety is. The rumination is you're thinking you're solving a problem.
Speaker 1:
Well, perhaps so. For example, whatever I have travel, in the future.
Speaker 2:
I ruminate.
Speaker 1:
I'm just constantly thinking about the travel itself Worst case scenarios. Well, no, I'm just thinking about oh, I got to get on the airplane, or oh, I got to get in the car.
Speaker 2:
And what do I need?
Speaker 1:
And then, sorry, I'm not thinking about what do I need, where are we going to go? And sometimes it's not even those kinds of problem-solving things. Sometimes it just pops in my head oh, we're going to be traveling Saturday morning, oh, we're going to be traveling Saturday morning, and it just sort of continually pops into my head, even when I'm trying to think about something else. It just pops in there so somewhere in my brain.
Speaker 2:
But you're list-making.
Speaker 1:
Most times I will say Sometimes in my brain, Something in my brain is just saying oh, there's something here that you better be aware of. So I'll just and I think most of these worries, anxieties, ruminating, you know it takes advantage of our brain's safety mechanism, where we evolve to be always wary of things that might be threatening to us in the environment.
Speaker 1:
So, if it's something that's it really is something that's out of the ordinary, something that's a little different. I think that I tend to ruminate about I don't know. I have to think about it more and maybe analyze it more as I'm going through it, I don't know that not ruminating or stopping to think about or trying to stop the ruminating, whether that makes me feel anxious or not, okay so I know a friend of mine who has just been working with a therapist calls it obsessive thinking. Yes, same, thing, same. Thing.
Speaker 2:
So you're caught in this chain, this loop of just thinking about the same thing over and, over and over again, and I think what you were talking about is when you have this thought that keeps coming up, then your brain has been, your brain is tricking you. I don't want to say you are tricking your brain. Your brain has tricked you into thinking that you are problem solving.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and that's the same thing with worries of worry rumination very, very, very similar. So your brain thinks, oh, you must be problem solving. Right, but in reality you're just flipping through this thought over and over again without actually sitting down and trying to figure out how to solve this problem, or facing the problem, or whatever.
Speaker 2:
Or it's a problem that is not solvable for me.
Speaker 1:
And then so you sort of feel like, oh, I must be solving this problem, or thinking over and over, again and again, and that somehow absolves you of feeling anxious. Okay, because you don't feel anxious, because, oh, I must be solving this problem. Well, and for me, part of my rumination, I think, is due to the fact that over time, sometimes when I'm ruminating, thinking a thing over and over again, sometimes something that does pop into my head actually helps me solve a problem. Like, oh, we're traveling, I better make sure I fill up the tank with gas tomorrow morning. Right, the tank was empty. So like, oh well, that's a reward.
Speaker 1:
Right and then my brain says oh, you better keep doing this, because you'll come up with another problem to solve.
Speaker 2:
So I would like to talk about if you think that's enough groundwork for you know, like an explanation of what it is.
Speaker 1:
Well, I would also say that a lot of times the rumination does come with anxiety, yes, and fear and all those things, and it makes me jerk like ah.
Speaker 2:
Right and I would guess for my rumination. Mostly my rumination is about in the past. It has been relationship related.
Speaker 1:
Well, I know, sometimes we come back from family gatherings and you would ruminate for literally weeks, yeah, weeks.
Speaker 2:
Trying to figure out how I could have done things different so that it didn't end up a train wreck, and the other thing that I would. I'm a highly organized person, and so if there's an event or something like that that I am organizing, I tend to ruminate the details, so I had the, and I think you do that with travel in particular.
Speaker 2:
There's a checklist and I'm always. There's always something new that can be added on to the checklist, to the point that I'm like organizing toothpicks, you know. I mean it can become absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 1:
Well, yeah, and for me, as it relates to travel, I'm like, okay, is this going to change my time? Motion preparation in the morning like fixing breakfast I can't get my coffee at the same time?
Speaker 2:
Okay, do I get my eggs and then put on the counter, or do I get my milk and put on the counter first?
Speaker 1:
And like it's like really weird stuff. Like, just like I'm going through this checklist, I'll take a step here, I'll put this there, and like there's no need for that, even if I do it out of order, I take an extra half a second, but the brain is just going there ruminating with it, right, and so I think what I'd like to talk about is how that impacts maybe your life and maybe your relationships. Well, for me, rumination, it's something that's hard to get out of my head?
Speaker 2:
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Even the conscious, awake part of my life. You tend to ruminate a lot, you know, in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I don't, mine's in the day, but go ahead.
Speaker 1:
But you know, when I'm ruminating it's hard for me to focus on like what you're saying. Right, because my brain tends to go to this ruminating spot.
Speaker 1:
If there's something that's pending, whether it's you know. To me it's usually things that are not part of the run of the mill, they're out of the ordinary, whether it's travel, a presentation, somebody I'm meeting, you know, anything that's a little different is what I tend to ruminate about, and so when those thoughts just keep popping up, I can't focus on what you're saying, what we're doing, and so it tends to make me more distant, less attentive to you. Okay, and then that is the way that it has an impact on relationships as well. If it's accompanied by anxiety, then you're going to feed off and get triggered by my anxiety.
Speaker 2:
Right, all for no reason, really, yes, well, and anytime a person is anxious, nervous, worried, afraid, that's going to make you short-tempered, it's going to make you less tolerant. Sure, and those are the areas where it impacts those around you. So you may think, well, this is all going on in my head, so it shouldn't impact anybody else. But you don't understand frequently especially if you live with somebody that's a really sensitive person that the energy that you are putting off around this ruminating is having an impact on others.
Speaker 1:
Well, I always think about. I think it was the last time I did a bodybuilding contest.
Speaker 2:
Okay.
Speaker 1:
Well, the preparation for that is sort of meticulous.
Speaker 2:
Oh gosh, yes.
Speaker 1:
The timing is really, really important. You can't miss time. You're conditioning by a week or a day or whatever, and so I was constantly ruminating. And I think in retrospect. You said you are so distant because I'm constantly ruminating about all the details of it, so I was not there for probably four months. Yes, it was a long time and then really in reality there was no need for that. Because, everything was taken care of.
Speaker 2:
I had it all. You're doing it all. Anyway, I'm doing it all.
Speaker 1:
So why do I have to constantly go back? My brain revisits that literally continually throughout the day, and then I can't even carry on a conversation with you because I'm off in my head.
Speaker 2:
Making sure that I'm drinking three glasses of milk a day.
Speaker 1:
Whatever the step was, yeah, and I feel like that was probably the most noticeable rumination period in my life for me to remember and recall what sort of rumination was all about.
Speaker 2:
For me. I think, again, going back to the list making and the being prepared and liking things in order, I find that, especially, let's say, family trips, even when you and I travel together, I think I've gotten the help, I've gotten better, but that need for that need to feel like you're not forgetting something that seems like it is of the ultimate importance Again, can, I think, tended to make me short-tempered and controlling you know I'm gonna get it all right.
Speaker 1:
You don't want to write anything, right?
Speaker 2:
And so anybody's, if they're challenging, if they're not doing it your way, if it's, if they don't understand that there's a method in your mind that that you become short-tempered and other people don't understand, and so that can create a lot of friction and misunderstanding in that situation and it's. It's just important, I think, to be aware if that is your inclination is to slip into this, overthinking, repetitive thinking.
Speaker 1:
I like that you said inclination, because I think, like everything that we talk about, some people are more inclined, yes, to ruminate than others, and I'm not sure that it's definite. I'm not sure what type of personality right person is more likely to do it or not, but the reality is most all of us ruminate from one time to another.
Speaker 1:
It's not necessarily a healthy thing. So we've talked a little about a rumination is how it can impact your life and the life of those around you in the relationships. Is there anything you can do about this, because this seems to be a built-in feature of the well human brain. Yeah, I know, can you? Can you stop it? Can you lessen it? What can you do about it?
Speaker 2:
Well, I think you know an acceptance and understanding of the fact that this is. You are wired Like a lot of things we talk about in your brain. This is a basic wiring of your brain like I said, it's a survival mechanism.
Speaker 1:
It's a feature. It's a feature.
Speaker 2:
It's not a glitch, it's gone haywire or can have gone haywire, and so I think the first thing in my mind is just having this acceptance and Understanding, instead of being, oh you know, darn it, I'm always stuck in my bad thoughts or whatever. I think just an acceptance. Oh, that's my body taking care of me.
Speaker 1:
Mm-hmm, that's a good way to think of it.
Speaker 2:
Yes, how, how can I assure myself and my mind that I don't need to do this at this time, that I can think of something else? And I think, in accepting that this is this, this safety feature, I think, makes it easier than to employ some of the mindfulness techniques and techniques that we have talked about in the past. And, like you said when we started, I don't think you're ever, if you're inclined to this, I don't think you're ever gonna be free of it. But I know in my own mind I have lessened it by probably 60%.
Speaker 1:
Sure, and I think, I think the record, the acceptance of it, is the key thing, because, just like when you start meditation and you notice your mind wandering, right. And you bring it back to what's your, your focus or your anchor is. It's the very same thing. Is all of a sudden you recognize?
Speaker 2:
Oh, oh, there, I am doing this ruminating or, oh, I'm overthinking this again.
Speaker 1:
Let's go back to what I was doing, whether it's having a conversation, or even watching a TV show, right, reading a book, whatever just try to gently bring yourself back to what it is you would rather be doing, right, I think you know practice, and practice is just gonna eventually make your brain gets it. Your brain gets it like we said if you're, if you're truly inclined to this, I don't think you ever get rid of no, but you can lessen it, get out of it. I think more often and and for myself.
Speaker 2:
I just got in a habit once I've recognized some of these repetitive mindful mind behaviors, these brain function behaviors as Well, as soon as the recognition and awareness came up, I would stop and say what would I rather be thinking about?
Speaker 2:
and that to me was it was a great exit line like I could okay, I'd rather be thinking about ice cream, like it couldn't be anything. But as soon as I physically and literally mentally, across the board, make that recognition and Ask my mind to choose another path, it's, it stops. In that moment it stops.
Speaker 1:
I have a little mantra that I've been using over the last year, year and a half, that that helps, and I just when I find myself because usually it's you, usually the rumination for I know your rumination was about the past right a lot. How did I say this? Why did I offend them? How can, how could I solve this right? Mine tend to be future, right, right. So my mantra is okay, right here, right now, and I try to. I try to bring myself back. Yes, here and now. What am I feeling? What am I seeing?
Speaker 1:
right what is my body sent? What are my bodily sensations that are going on? Try to bring myself back into the moment instead of projecting into the future right. Thinking about all the things that I need to do in the list I need to make right.
Speaker 2:
And in that instance, in my preparing and organizing for events and stuff, I tell myself I am prepared. Whatever it is I need, I am prepared in this moment. And and Again, it doesn't matter what saying you come up with, it's the fact that you've caught yourself in that cycle.
Speaker 1:
Catching.
Speaker 2:
it's the key, it's the catching it and the asking your brain to think about something else, right?
Speaker 1:
Well, this is. You know, this is a deep topic, you're very deep I think it's something that almost everybody, I want to say, suffers from it, and so, as we sort of Wind up here, I just wanted to ask, as I'm going to repeatedly do in the coming weeks, you know, if you like our show, if there are things that are valuable to you, we ask you to subscribe on whatever podcast platform you use, whether it's Apple.
Speaker 2:
Spotify.
Speaker 1:
Spotify Stitcher. Please, please, please, like and subscribe like and subscribe, so until next time. This has been just one thing,
