Episode 103 - Say The Nice Words Part 2

Do you speak to yourself out loud? When you think something positive about yourself, does it stay inside your brain or do you verbalize it? Learn more about the power of this practice, in continuation from Episode 9 about speaking the nice words to others!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, and welcome to episode 1 0 3 of the convenient counselor podcast. My name is Brianna leach. I'm a wife, a mom of three and a licensed counselor. And this week my self-care has looked like going on a hike with my boys and spending as much time outside as possible. And I hope that you are taking time out of your week to care for yourself as well. And I am so thankful you're here listening today. The goal of this podcast is to create a safe space for you to learn more about yourself and to learn about mental health topics on your time. This is no replacement for actual therapy, which I say every week, but I do hope that it's a supplement and something you can apply to your week ahead today. I want to jump back into a topic that I first introduced about two and a half years ago, which is hard to believe it was episode nine, titled say the nice words. And today we are doing part two of that, a very delayed part, two<laugh>. But in that episode, I talked a lot about saying the nice words to others. If you haven't already listened to that episode, I encourage you to go back and follow the challenge of when you think something nice about someone, say it out loud, or put it in a note or a text or an email, but say the nice words. I think it was very timely that I was able to produce that episode right before a lot of things changed in our life. And unfortunately, over the last two and a half years, people haven't exactly gotten nicer<laugh> and we all are in need of a little bit of extra encouragement. You know, never know when you're gonna make someone's day. You never know when you're gonna be that little glimmer of hope that they needed that day. But I hope on a weekly or ideally a daily basis, you can say, I said, the nice words I called and let that manager know that that employee was awesome. I let my spouse know that I and appreciate the hard work that they're doing. I noticed my kids trying extra or just being themselves. And I love every bit of who they are. Say the nice words now that parts to others. And today I wanna turn a little bit inward, but also outward at the same time. And that will make sense in a set because what I'm learning about is neurologically the power of the spoken word. We know that talk therapy is incredibly beneficial and scientifically helpful for your mental health and situations that you're going through. But what about in just everyday situations in your life? Are you saying nice words out loud to yourself? It's one thing to think it, to have these ideas and self talk bouncing around in our head, but our subconscious doesn't always latch on to what's bouncing around in there, but what it can do is hear the words that you are saying out loud. There's research that shows when we speak something out loud, our brain absorbs it better. I was reading an article about that. It was talking about the power of saying things out loud. And two things jumped out to me. One was a researcher in Wisconsin, university of Wisconsin, Madison conducting an experiment and the subjects had to go through a stack of photos and they were supposed to find an object on them, like a specific item, say like a banana and the people who said the word out loud while they were looking, found the object faster than those who were just looking at a list, their brain was able to connect and absorb those words and put it to action faster. Also, there was a clinical psychologist, Carla Manley, who was talking about when we expressed our thoughts out loud, we become more aware of what is going on in the mind. It's not a mystery. It's not just bouncing around anymore. We've named it and said it out loud, engaging in this process means to access the brain's language center and become more intentional about our thoughts. So we can become more intentional about our, towards others by vocalizing them or writing them down. But are you doing that for yourself? That's what's fascinating to me is that we can give ourselves an out boy or not a girl in the moment and our brain will recognize it better. Maybe you're working on an organization project and you're getting a overwhelmed, but you get one box done. And in your mind, you think, yes, I did it say it out loud. Great job, Brianna, you did it. I knew you could do it.<laugh> it may sound silly, kinda like last week in our little micro practices for our mental health smiling, we can easily trick our brain into things. It's a amazing multifunctional organ of our body, but it also can be tricked. So<laugh>, let's trick it for good. Are you currently doing this? Are you someone that maybe struggles with verbal affirmation? I totally get that. If so that is not something that has come naturally to me in the past. I would think all of these wonderful things about other people, but I wasn't always good at following up on saying them out loud. Thankfully, I'm also here to report. It is a practice and a skill that can be learned and can be easily implemented in your life. Whatever works. As far as verbal written text, you can learn to do this, even if it doesn't come naturally. Other people like my husband, like my daughter, they are really good at just saying what they're thinking both good and bad, but they are the natural cheerleaders of you're doing great. You've got this. And I wonder how many of you listening are good at that for yourselves of cheering yourself on overriding the super negative thoughts in your brain? You know, what's really cool is that our subconscious can't process a negative word that may sound impossible. But what I mean is our subconscious hears a directive or a phrase, but can't process the negative part. For example, if you say out loud, don't think about your X. You know what your subconscious hears think about your X<laugh>. So we can, you use that to our benefit of you can do this. You can push through saying things out loud. And I know this sounds like you are losing your mind. If you are talking out loud to yourself, but honestly, you're gaining it. Your brain will retain a lot more of what you're saying and your subconscious will believe it. The more you're saying it out loud, the power of positive talk, the power of positive thinking is great. But the power of positive talk is even more. Maybe you're already practicing this. But my goal of today's episode is that you would become aware of doing this on a regular basis to yourself. When you're driving down the road, great up getting us to this place today, Brianna, you know, way to get those kids dropped off to school on time, or you did your best and they still fought anyways, but you're pushing through<laugh> whatever pops into your head in a positive way, say it out loud. You're looking good in that outfit today. You're gonna do great at this meeting, whether you physically feel it or not, your brain is registering those powerful words. So again, I'm encouraging you to say the nice words, cheer yourself on verbally, write something to yourself and put it on your mirror. This is a mental health habit that you can practice and make into a skill that will be part of your self-care toolbox in the future. And if you're already doing it, wonderful, do it more<laugh> or be more aware of when you're doing it, cheer yourself on, Hey, I'm improving my mental health right now. I'm actively caring for myself right now. Great job me. And if you're someone that's not doing either at this point, maybe you feel a little too shy or reserved. I could never say something to someone else, or I'm gonna second guess or poke holes in any affirmation. I give myself<laugh>. That is okay. That is totally normal to feel that way. Maybe you were raised in an environment where you don't affirm yourself. Other people definitely don't affirm you and you don't brag on yourself. That's not being humble. Listen, we all need to cheer ourselves on just view it as coaching your subconscious, because your subconscious gets a little confused sometimes. Where do you think the weird dreams come from? It doesn't always understand what reality should be for you. And the cool part is you have that power. You have the ability to not only make someone else's day, which I really hope you are doing, but you can make your own. And again, if this is new to you, when you get an affirmation from someone else, you can agree with it out loud. So let's say you get a positive email or text from someone and they say, you're such a good friend. You can say out loud, you know, know what I am a good friend, Jing. You just made a deposit into your mental health and your subconscious to know that you're a good friend. I hope that's making sense to you. I am obviously passionate about it because there is so much power. In our words, I'll wrap up today with actually started episode nine, quoting from Proverbs 1821. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. In my kids' version that they always quote is words can cut like a knife or bring healing. I hope you can bring healing to those around you and especially yourself today. Thank you so much for listening. If this was an episode you enjoyed or got something out of, if you could do me a favor and share it with your friends or tell someone about this podcast, that would help me get the word out more. That is the number one way that podcasts are promoted is by word of mouth. But I am thankful you are here today. And as always, you've got this and I'm cheering you on, see you next week.