Unofficial Controller Podcast
Your number one weekly gaming podcast for all the latest Sony Playstation , Microsoft Xbox , Nintendo Switch and PC News. Retrospectives , Readers Mail and Industry Chat.
Unofficial Controller Podcast
The Unofficial Controller Podcast Movie - The Great Escape from El Paso - The Great Ascension
Ever wondered how a mince pie cookie could be compared to a roguelike game? Our latest episode kicks off with this humorous culinary-gaming analogy, leading listeners onto a cosmic carousel of enchanting tales. Bobby and RGT join us to share their thrilling experiences from gaming worlds like Remnant 2 and Trine 5. We also ponder the nostalgic allure of re-rolling story arcs and the intriguing pull of leaving iconic games like Diablo for fresh adventures. There's a quirky exploration of legacy sports teams like Manchester United and the Yankees, reminding us of the timeless spirit of competition.
Discover the promise of UFL, a new football game shaking up the status quo with its no microtransactions policy. Our impressions reveal a game teeming with potential, from its stunning graphics to its unique sponsorship-driven content. While some arcadey mechanics and lack of a career mode present challenges, we debate its viability as a future eSports contender. Adding a dash of holiday humor, we contrast UFL with a bizarre gaming snack experience, setting the stage for console gaming updates that blend nostalgia with modern excitement from PS2 to PS5.
Why settle for ordinary when you can prepare for whimsical ascensions and surreal adventures in El Paso? Our episode takes an unexpected turn with mysterious encounters and cliffhangers involving the likes of Elon Musk and President-elect Trump. As the story concludes, we partake in a holiday gift exchange and reflect on gaming aspirations, all under the vivid desert sky with Pastor Longhorn's congregation. Through laughter, nostalgia, and the enduring allure of gaming's evolution, we invite you to join this eclectic journey brimming with unity, faith, and community spirit.
In a garden full of colors where the stars align, whispering secrets to the winds of time, dancing shadows in a cosmic play, every night becomes a brand new day, chasing dreams on a golden beam. Life is more than what it seems mystic rhythms in the morning sun. We are one. We are everyone. Ride the cosmic carousel round and round where spirits dwell. We'll see you next time. Reflect the soul of you and me. Walk the line between space and mind In either treasures you'll find Love and laughter. Paint the sky In this moment. We can fly. I ride the cosmic carousel. We need the sky. In this moment we can fly, ride. Ride the cosmic carousel Round and round and round where spirits dwell. Feel the universe unfold In your heart, a story told. Rock the line between space and mind, and either treasures you'll find Love and laughter. Paint the sky In this moment we can fly, ride, ride the cosmic carousel Round and round and round where spirits dwell. Feel the universe unfold In your heart.
Speaker 2:A story told. Story told. Welcome to the unofficial controller.
Speaker 3:Why is there never anything good on Texas radio, anybody hey?
Speaker 2:Check Bobby George. Is this a real walkie-talkie?
Speaker 3:It is. I rapped it in Manchester United, but nobody cares about them.
Speaker 2:Threw it over the fence. Yeah, I picked it up. I didn't realize. I you know. When I saw this, what looked like a Buzz Lightyear walkie-talkie in my wildest dreams, I envisaged that you've got the woody one.
Speaker 3:I do Also. We have to. You know, I don't know who can hear this but we've got to give a big shout out to Pat Zangief because I had to slip it in with the mail.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you said the mail, because I thought that was preparation for how you paid for him to smuggle the walkie-talkie in, but no.
Speaker 3:No, we smuggled it in with this particular jersey.
Speaker 2:Well, I suppose. Well, guess who I've got in here I've got. I know you stayed outside of the court and you believe in you know not being in the court, but me and RGT, we've joined the Great Ascension. We're going up to see Tlaxi, or our great leader. Are you here to join us on that, bobby, or are you just here to ask us what we've been playing?
Speaker 3:What you've been playing.
Speaker 4:Okay, Think about it if you want. Bobby, it's a way forward. I tell you I've seen the light.
Speaker 2:Well, he's not at the Kool-Aid, despite me sending him gallons of it. I don't know what he's doing with it. He's probably bathing it, he's probably selling it as streamer water or something. Yes, yes, bobby water, bobby water.
Speaker 3:Sleethless cooler. A little bit of acidic in it, so it's a very good cleaner for the boiler parts in the dough.
Speaker 2:Wow, Okay, it's like a disinfectant Pretty much, yeah. Wow, okay, it's like a disinfectant pretty much. Yeah, america's own. America's own lubricant, kool-aid right, bobby, you haven't been on for a while. Why don't you tell us what you've been playing?
Speaker 3:uh well, without going crazy, most recently remnant 2 my Marlon we played that to death Got the platinum. It was very enjoyable. Kind of confusing how you re-roll the story arcs just to get certain things, because there's certain paths you take and once you make a path, that path is locked out. So if you want to do something else you got to re-roll Kind of cool mechanic. I enjoyed the game. And then I actually paid $30 for a beta for a path of exile 2 and According to my PlayStation app, we played that for 65 hours In this month alone me, my stepfather, danny and Marlin.
Speaker 2:Is this kind of picking up where Diablo left off for you guys, or what's going on here?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I think it's uh, it's definitely uh, I called us um a little bit of rejects and our guild cause. We left Diablo to come to come over here.
Speaker 4:Well, you see a lot of red birds for that, that perfect soul too.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, no, I mean it looks, it looks great. So far I'm only up to Act 3. But so far so good man, it's been really good, what's the goodest die-up load?
Speaker 4:do you think?
Speaker 3:I think it's up there. It's like back and neck for me. Let's see how the rest of the game goes, but I'm having the time of my life. Brilliant. Yeah, good, and that's pretty much it, besides the random FC25. You're still playing that, always playing that. Even Manchester United is terrible in that game too.
Speaker 2:I keep praying to Pastor that you'll get into MLB or NFL or something like that. Whereas I like the American sports, you like the British sport. What's going on in FC25? Are you playing that career mode?
Speaker 3:Yeah, career mode, trying to bring glory back to a forgotten team.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say they're forgotten. I don't know if that's how it feels in America. Well then, I forgot.
Speaker 3:But I feel like they're down and out. All my teams are under the clone.
Speaker 2:There is no way you can walk into Poundland in the UK and not bump into about 30, 40 man U shirts, buying probably cup noodles or something.
Speaker 3:You know what? It's a legacy. It's a legacy team. At this point we haven't done anything good. It's a legacy team. I love them, just like the Yankees. I love the Yankees. They're a legacy team.
Speaker 2:Wow, rgt, what have you been playing?
Speaker 4:More trying five Getting towards endgame. Now I think I've got two acts left, so hopefully get that wrapped up before Christmas, still really enjoying it. I like this one because, from what I remember, there seems to be a lot more combat in this, a few boss battles, some tricky boss battles as well, but I'm getting through it, but great fun, I mean. I remember when the last year I was on I sort of said you know, graphics were okay, but now I've sort of played it. It's actually they are really good and, like you said, they always look pretty good to try and game. But but yeah, I've been really enjoying that. And for you, bobby, I'll tell you what I downloaded yesterday. I downloaded UFL, which is the new football game. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Ultimate Fighting League. It's where they get in and scrap each other over a football. It's like speedball. Let's go Get your ice cream.
Speaker 4:Anyway, bobby. Yeah, so I downloaded a new football game and I saw a few reviews of this. So for anyone that doesn't know what ufl is, it's a completely free football game with no micro transactions at all in it, so there is no way you can buy packs wait.
Speaker 2:I don't mean to pick holes in this, but how are you going to? How does this free football game make money, or is it just? Well? I'll tell you I'll get.
Speaker 4:I'll get to that because this is one of my little complaints with her. But anyway, I downloaded it. It's free to download and I played a couple of matches on it, just as yesterday, and control wise and gameplay very, very good. Does some things better than the AFC, does some things not quite as good. I find some of you whenever you're passing it's always a bit of a rocket direct shot almost feels a bit arcadey. But actual gameplay it's probably got a little bit of the edge on the AFC. Yeah, plays really well.
Speaker 4:Graphically. I mean, this runs 60fps, looks super smooth, cut scenes look phenomenal, the pitch and that still colors and that aren't that great. But the actual character animations, character models are superb. This looks and it plays a smoother silk. Now, yes, it's a bare bones game. It literally is. If you think of, if you think of a free fifa ultimate team, this is it right. So it's very bare bones.
Speaker 4:You know, me and bobby would be we'd want a career mode on a game. They're in really that career mode. You start off with your 60 rated players. You have to then save your coins up, which you earn through challenges, to then buy in the big players to then you can then play online, do seasons like you would on fifa. Now how they I would imagine how they make money off this game is because this first season is sponsored by adidas right, so it's adidas ufl. They will probably get a new sponsor in every season.
Speaker 4:Now my issue with that is your commentators. I don't even know who they are. I think they're just random. You know guys made up to be commentators and then you'll find every three, four minutes you'll take a shot and I go, oh, you can see he's wearing adidas predators. That's why he's had a hell of a shot there. And then two minutes later I'll be oh, then blue adidas, whatever boots he's wearing, what phenomenal style that you know. And that'll keep dropping in these adidas in the commentary, which gets a bit repetitive after a while. But actually I went into this thinking this is just going to be rubbish, a bit like what eFootball did. That used to be pre-pro evolution soccer Chuck it as a free mode.
Speaker 2:Don't back it up. Is this the new version of pro evo? To the uninitiated like me, Is that what this is?
Speaker 4:Well, it's for a completely separate company, but this, this is um, they've been making it for quite a while. Um, so at the moment it's it's released. It's not in a beta form, but it's obviously going to always be a free game. Um, I think for the younger generation that plays fifa ultimate team or likes to play online career mode not career mode online seasons this is right up their street. I think there's a lot of fun to be had with this game and for a free game, I mean, it runs better than the AFC.
Speaker 4:Wow, it's as smooth as silk 60 frames and it's similar in some ways. Your button controls are the same, but it just feels I don't know, the players feel a bit more connected. They tend to do the runs you would imagine them to do. So you get on that wing, you'll see, say, you've got Haaland up front, you're down that wing, you'll see Haaland drop off and then he'll make that run in and then you can cross it. It's a bit more interactive, I suppose.
Speaker 4:Um, but like I say for free game, give it a downer, give it a go. It's. It's limited. Like I say, if you're a FIFA Ultimate team player or a seasons player, there's plenty of fun to be had in me. And obviously, bobby, we like our career modes, we like to grab a team. You know, try and change that. Team transfers yeah, that's going to be lacking in that.
Speaker 4:Will they ever put it in this? I would probably doubt it. I think it is just to take on FIFA Ultimate Team on a free version. Will they sustain it? Well, I hope so, because I think the core game's there now and, like I say, it runs well, plays well, the core game's there. So if they can get the sponsorship every year I think it's going to be could be a good rival for that. If they could get an eSport version of it and people playing, then they're going to be up there, I think. But yeah, definitely worth a download. And finally, I've just downloaded Kill Night, fancy something a bit more roguelite again, and Christmas coming up, always like a little roguelite again, and christmas coming up, always like a little roguelite game at christmas.
Speaker 2:So I've just I've only played two, or I've only had two or three games on it, but um, that's looking good fun. Um, do you? Do you think that that's a good roguelike? Is it better than pasta's mince pies? Because I don't think americans quite understand these, and he's basically. He handed me a cookie earlier with some Bolognese mints on it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's not quite the one. It's a decent. I mean, I paid what? 11 bucks for this, 12 bucks, so it's a good game for the money. I think there's a lot of depth in it. There's a lot of it's tough to get going, but I think a lot of the roadblocks are until you upgrade and keep getting your runs going. There's but I think a lot of the roguelites are until you upgrade and keep getting your runs going needs.
Speaker 4:There's a lot of controls to it for different controls, from dodging to using the knife to then which. If you use a knife, that will then give you ammo for the shotgun, but you have a machine gun. When machine gun runs out of ammo, you can do a. You have a little timed bar which will then give you an upgrade your gun while you're on the run. So there's loads of little things you can do. So get in the controls, do the tutorial, make sure you do that.
Speaker 4:Um. But yeah, it's, it's really good, looks really good, plays really smooth. Um, it's more like a I don't know how to put it more like a machine gun, sort of hades. I suppose the only thing I find at the moment is I'm still on that sort of one level. I like hades, where you went through the different rooms and you kept progressing through the different rooms, which were different every time. I like that side. You haven't so far. I don't seem to have that in. In kill night maybe it will, as I unlock a bit more, but um, yeah, for the money. Yeah, definitely good fun, but yeah, that's pretty much what I've been planning. So what about you?
Speaker 2:George, two seconds. Yeah, no, pastor, we're not on a radio planning our escape. Why would we Today's the great Ascension? We wouldn't do that, not to you. I'll be in in a second we don't, he wants us Cool. He just.
Speaker 4:I think he nearly nearly caught us there. What he wants us to do is join him in a prayer moment, so I'm just let's, just let's get the prayer sandals on.
Speaker 2:Hang on, let's get the prayer sandals on. Why do you call those prayer sandals when they're basically pieces of built-on meat held together with cable ties strapped to your feet?
Speaker 4:Well, because I only wear them when we pray, so I just thought they were my prayer sandals For the worldwide audience.
Speaker 2:There that's beef jerky. Yeah, I just, I don't know. I'm more tempted to have a little nibble on your and your. Why do your feet look? I know feet are all different shapes and sizes, but why do yours look like a fully fledged human hand?
Speaker 4:um, I just always have been. You know, I just use them for a lot of things. I can game with them, I can pick things up.
Speaker 2:Just very versatile there's a bit of lore we never thought we needed. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what I've been playing and we'll keep it brief. Well, it's a couple of things. I did a classic last night. I got the sound quite sweet at the moment and I've been quite enjoying it. And I started experimenting with Dolby Pro Logic surround sound on PS2 games. It's actually quite good.
Speaker 4:I know you wanted to wrap it up, any reason, any reason you don't know, because I could. What made you think of that? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm'm gonna set a surround sound up on my ps2 just well, the surround sound was already set up, but there was just one button. I thought I didn't press the dolby pro logic button in a while and you know I wanted the full experience of the ps. I wanted the ps2 to be singing on all, on all its cylinders, you know, I wanted it to be its best. Um, so I started experimenting with like progressive scan on tomb raider anniversary surround sound and all that and it, you know, looks phenomenal. What it was capable of in its latter years was, uh, real. So I just went through a smorgasbord of ps2 games last night, probably till too late in the night, uh, and then started reminiscing about the beloved PS3.
Speaker 2:My PS3 is still dead. It's still with my cousin hoping that he can repair it. It's not looking good. Oh, really, I've been playing on the RGT donated PS3, which is an absolute fine, and it might end up getting upgraded to the SSD if that's the case, because I've got the PS2 plugged in at all times. So it's not as though I need the back and pat. I just liked the idea of the back and pat. Anyway, oh, and I started playing Aliens, colonial Marine.
Speaker 2:Now, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Well, don't you think? I know I know that game is a challenge. Broken, I'm a flawed, but do you know what Time's been kind. Take away all the furore about it being broken. Take away all the furore of all the magazines needing to negatively review that game. Take away all the furore of that. I actually found it quite an enjoyable sort of early mid-2000s kind of shooter, with the alien dressing on it. I think the further you get in, the more broken it gets. But for now I'm actually finding it quite a nice little ps3 christmas distraction that I'd saved for such an occasion as this. So I shall enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Now. What I've been playing on the modern machine well, don't panic, don't you? Don't you dare panic? There's still a little bit of that going on. I'm feeling a little bit sort of burnt out with ps5. Uh, in terms of like, I think I've played every sort of tentpole game they've thrown in our direction. You know everything big that's come along. I've jumped on it, enjoyed it. But now it's christmas time and, much like the kid who couldn't wait to unwrap his presents to therefore play this master system in his pants underneath his mum and dad's bed Guess our duty, I'm talking about you.
Speaker 4:This just comes up every show, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's a great way of showing I don't know what I was going to say shaving. It's a great way of showing that. Shaving is also a great way of showing your face, um, a great way of showing that I am a greedy pig and I could have waited for star wars outlaws to be my christmas game. Could have. I didn't. I could have waited for astrobot to be my christmas game. Could have didn't played it. Second it came out and that's what I'm like. So this christmas, I mean like what's my game going to be? And I remembered I had a particularly getting on a little bit. Now game couple of years, I'd say Trek to Yomi. I'm probably thinking Bobby might have played this.
Speaker 3:I haven't downloaded it, but I've never played it yet You're making the same mistake I did. I did too many back-to-back samurai. I did like a break and I'm going to go back to it.
Speaker 2:This is. This is bold. This is Bobby. This is bold, this is bold. This might be probably one of the best sort of cinema-like tellings. The way you move through the screen, the way you transition the combat Relatively simple but very deep layers. You know, once you get into it you've got maybe two button interfaces, but then you start to pick up shurikens which can hold a guy back. Yeah, I'm really quite enjoying it. It's brutal. I mean, for the little bit I've played of it so far, I've basically walked through a village of women screaming for their lives as they're brutally murdered or abused, If you want it to be dark and realistic. For a side-scroller it is.
Speaker 2:And as I was playing it I was thinking they could have had games like this on Mega Drive, but just the the. The art form wasn't evolved enough to give us that kind of ongoing through flow story. And I think to myself, if someone had brought this out during the days of the Genesis or Mega Drive and I know it wouldn't look the same, but a pixel art version of this it would have been hailed as the greatest game ever ever made from that era. I can see it getting a sega cd, mega cd upgrade, but the soundtrack in the background of the women's screaming, just to make everybody happy. Uh, the people are dying, innocents are dying. Um, and that's about it. Um, bobby, I'm loving these sort of toy story, like CB radios, these walkie-talkies that you've got for us so we can talk. Are you here to get us out, Because I don't know if I want to be freed.
Speaker 3:No, you absolutely must be free. Okay, today is the day. A lot of this went into it, a lot of planning.
Speaker 4:What about the Great Ascension?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what about the Great?
Speaker 3:Ascension. Listen, we're going to agree to send over this war my boy.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I don't know. Hang on a minute, Before we get any more lost in this. I just want to find out, because I've not seen you for a while, Bobby what's the one piece of news this year, if any and this might be a classic Bobby night what's that piece of gaming news this year? Or maybe you saw a trailer or whatnot? What got your gamer juices flowing? What got you wetter than the start point of the ooze river?
Speaker 3:What made me drip down my thighs was probably the beta of Path of Exile. Really, you know why. I saw it on a trailer and it was only a PC game. It was only a PC release Because I've seen gameplay people playing it and they said it's like the Diablo 4 killer. I'm like, okay, so eventually it'll be on consoles next year. So I'm like, oh damn, that's too far. I kind of forgot about it. And then randomly at work I was extremely busy. My stepfather called me like three times in a row and now I'm like, oh my god, someone died in my family so I was like oh, you know, damn, now I gotta answer this.
Speaker 3:You know, and he's so excited and he downloaded it and he even told me he'll give me the 30 to download it. Wow, no need, don't worry about it, I'll download it. Wow, no need, don't worry about it, I'll download it. And we've been playing this nonstop. I mean it got us back because we haven't played in a while because he's been busy. There's no, there's really have been no co-op games been playing, yeah, I think since hell divers. Really, he wasn't interested in dead by a dead Island too, and he wasn't interested in Remnant 2. So this got his back going. So this, the news of this beta, is amazing. It's supposed to be released officially in June, so I don't know. It's still in beta mode, I guess, until June.
Speaker 3:You keep your progress when you download the game. Well, that's what I would hope, because 65 hours in right, yeah, that's going to be a stinger if you can't, because I know in the console or the Steam or whatever it is, they have achievements. So I'm hoping as if you do them, you just unlock them when the game comes into play. I don't know if that's the case, but I guess we'll find out.
Speaker 2:What about the money paid for the beta?
Speaker 3:Is that going to offer you a reduced price on the full game, or is this? Well, I think probably so. I would hope so anyway, because it's almost like we're testing the game for you. They made a couple patches since I've downloaded it, but it's been more like quality of life. They're not as stingy as Diablo. If you have a build that's pretty strong, they're not tanking it, taking it away. They're almost like alright, maybe we'll make the enemies a little bit stronger to do XYZ To make it more engaging, I guess.
Speaker 2:A bit like the Helldivers tweaks that work Pretty much yeah.
Speaker 3:Which I think is so far, so good. I have to say that's been an end-of-year surprise for sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, good, I have to say that's been an end of year surprise for sure. Okay, rgt, pastor Quick, I just walkie-talkie. No no no, we're not conspiring against you. Why would we do that? We love you, pastor. You're taking us to the Great Ascension.
Speaker 4:Love you Pastor.
Speaker 2:We'll be out for the prayer in a minute. Yes, your bill tongs snapped.
Speaker 4:I've just got to repair out for the prayer in a minute. Your biltong snapped, I've just got to repair it.
Speaker 2:Pastor loves, loves, biltong toe. That's all I'll say. It's basically just an elaborate fragrancing of your feet. Your hand like feet, your hand like appendages. It's weird because I never know if you're doing a handstand. Handstand, because if you put some glasses there. There's one good way to find out yeah, balance some glasses on that, hang on, let me do it.
Speaker 4:Hang on there we go. What's that?
Speaker 2:whether you're up. I don't know if you're upside down or the right way up now. Hmm, what's happening? Are you doing a?
Speaker 4:handstand or gripping the flip flops.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what I'm looking at. It's like if you cut a worm in half Unbelievable. Wow, right, rgt. What's your favourite bit of gaming news?
Speaker 4:I was caught between a couple actually, but I think probably of what we covered was PS Portal being able to play the start playing the PlayStation library, rather than just as a street, because then suddenly that opens that up to being a bit of kit where I think I might get myself one of those, you know, as a streaming device. Yes, it will come in handy. Will I use it that much? No, as a streaming device, even though it's a nice bit of kit. But now you suddenly get that library you can play without just using it as a streaming device. You think, oh, hang on a, I know you've still got to stream those games. I was going to say, yeah, I know you can't download them, but it just opens it up a bit more and I just think, hmm, yeah. So I think that, and, like I say, the only other bit that we didn't cover was the release of the Spectrum, the HDMI ZX Spectrum which came out, which is a fantastic piece of kit. So, yeah, my two favourite ones. What about you, john?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean the Portal to me. That news lifted me a bit because it means that we're not hammering our own consoles, we're actually hammering Sony's, so we can play games on the go as we like. It also doesn't matter if you not necessarily got the best straight through connection to your own console.
Speaker 4:Uh, still using yours a lot, or?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean for the last week, solid. I mean, it's really how I've been playing ps5 um, brilliant, it makes me happy. It looks. I think it was yes to no, not yesterday, the day before I was sat on the couch playing it at rachel's and I thought I thought this looks great. You know, considering what it's doing and I was streaming from my ps5 at the time I was like this is so crystal clear. I see all the, I see it all. It's wonderful. Um, it looks great.
Speaker 2:And, like I say, the ability just to stream from the library, that's not yours. Let's give it a lift so you don't need to wait to install the game. You ain't got to muck around, you can just get straight into it Again. I do find, though, that leaves me in that sort of strange Games Pass world of like, well, I'll try this. No, the minute I've got bored, I'm gonna try something else. And then you're just constantly in that wall, whereas old george would have got a game on its own, singularly open.
Speaker 2:Install, play it. Hit a bit of a brick wall with it. Continue playing it. Hit another brick wall with it. Maybe take a break, get a cup of tea, come back, keep playing it now because I've got more games than sense. Get a cup of tea, come back, keep playing it. Now, because I've got more games than sense.
Speaker 2:I get a little bit like I was playing Construction Simulator on that and I got to a bit where it was like, oh, now reverse and do this, and I just had a little bit of a mess about with the controls. I was like, mate, you're done, throat, chop, delete, you're out of here, pal, go on. You made one mistake, you toast, and I think that, uh, I might not renew at the highest level because it's taken away that discoverability, it's take away the playability, it's taken away that sort of commitment to a game. It doesn't help that there's not really anything around at the moment that piques my interest, to the point where I'm going back and playing Aliens, colonial Marine on the PS3. You know things, it's game over, man, it's game over.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 2:I know what you mean, but my piece of news solid news probably was, although I did spit on it a little bit and I am a million games behind at this point. But it's nice to see that rgg studio bringing out something a little bit different, switching up the characters a bit and giving us a magima game. I think the one that probably piqued my interest the most was the intergalactic, the heretic prophecy, the game that naughty dog had been working on, because we've all been wondering what the hell's going on at Sony Towers.
Speaker 4:It's been really a space game for a lot of years, hasn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then they release that trailer and it's like, okay, panic over, george, you can calm down. They're actually making a game for that console you bought four years ago.
Speaker 1:Yes, I will say it out loud Pieces of dirt.
Speaker 2:But yeah, yeah, it's looking good. I'm very excited for that to see what comes of it and be interesting to see a new franchise and quite how I don't know dress it up in a sci-fi skin. But it looked a little bit. On the two seconds of clip we saw, it did look a little bit last of us type scenario in terms of the gameplay and it had that weight with the sword. I was like, yeah, okay, I'm into this. So, yeah, quite excited, I would say, um, okay, all right, pastor all right, he's back, we're on our way no, it's okay.
Speaker 2:So, bobby, I'm just gonna stash your uh walkie talkie in my uh fanny pack as it's well.
Speaker 2:It's basically just a fold in my skin, if I'm honest. But there we go. I took it in there. Now just give us two minutes because Pastors has invited us out for a sing song. But I'm very interested to if I should sing a song. Alright, president-elect Trump, simmer down. I didn't think I'd see you here. Oh yeah, no, I'll be out in a minute. No, this Make America Great Again, sir. Yep. No, I haven't seen Nigel. Just because I'm British doesn't mean I know everybody. No, I'll. You're absolutely right, sir. I'll know him. I'll get to know him. Elon, are you all right? Yeah, no problems. Are we going up in SpaceX? No, we're going to UFO. Too much Kool-Aid, they're all here, they're all here.
Speaker 2:I thought you were dead. Okay, we'll not say anything, shady, I love it, right? Okay, we're going to go outside, bobby, you just hang outside. We're going to go out and do a little bit of a sing-song. President-elect Trump he's given me a meat stick to chew on, so this is obviously going to be. We're going to be bedding him for a while. It's not built on RGT, don't you Get your envious eyes off it. It's not your next set of loafers.
Speaker 3:My hot meaty snack.
Speaker 2:We're going to go outside. Let's sit down here. Suck my smock out, can you hold my hand. No, not me, old man me smock.
Speaker 4:No, I said can you hold my hand? Oh, I want you to hold your hand on me. It's nothing like that, an old man in there.
Speaker 2:No, I thought, yeah, I thought you finally were giving me the sort of green light to touch you in your midriff.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:I did it anyway. Ask for forgiveness afterwards. Okay, that's not right. This is a Christmas episode. George Chill out Whoa.
Speaker 1:Whoa. Gather round. Boys, join me in prayer and song as we prepare for the great ascension. Feel the Spirit here where you belong. This sacred trust is our own redemption. Lift your voices and let them soar to the sky. In this holy bound, we find our way. Eternal life in the sweet by and by. Together we rise, come what may. In this quiet vale where the rivers flow, we build a home, a haven. Strong With faith as our guide, we'll surely grow. Unite as one. We've waited long. Lift your voices, let them soar to the sky. In this holy bound, we find our way. Eternal life In the sweet by and by. Together we rise, come what may. Morning light brings a promise divine. Every step we take heaven's near. Hand in hand, our hearts align. No more sorrow. Lift your voices, let them soar to the sky. In this holy bound, we find our way. Eternal life in the sweet by and by. Together we rise, come what may.
Speaker 3:Come what may, come what may all right, it's been a long time. Having drove a car, a lot of buttons in here, I know how to hit the gas. I'm just going to keep going on this thing. I think a lot of the buttons are fake, not sure what's going on. I got to give a big shout out because the money that we have gotten has helped me get this Bluebird and I'm going for it and hopefully the instructions I have gotten can get me over this ramp with the boost at the right moment. So I got to give a shout out to Seanox, carlos Furber, turns Trestles, new York, bada Bingsta, tingle Turner, digital, monkery Rose, spaceman, the Gaming Grand, bold Border, boba Marathon, gaming Seal Master Elliot Ginge, emma Sharp, harvey, retro, nowhere From Berlin. Mumsy Archie G, bold border boba, marathon gaming seal master elliott ginge, emma sharp, harvey, retro nowhere from berlin. Mumsy rtg fan club, which is a real thing pete brocklehurst, billy marmite, simon pike and, of course, my boy sat, fat zangief.
Speaker 3:Okay, here we go, baby. We're going like fifth gear. Oh my god, so fast. We're going in sixth gear. Oh man, this car is shaking. I don't know if we're going to make this jump. It's not good at all. The wheels the wheels are going crazy the hand. It's not even steering anymore, it's just doing its own thing.
Speaker 1:We're in eighth gear. Hold on, wait a minute, wait a second.
Speaker 3:Okay, three, two one, 3, 2, 1 Boots baby. Holy shit, we are going over the wall, baby. Thank you.
Speaker 4:What's that? What is that?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, elon Musk's got his leg pinned up against the wall.
Speaker 4:I've lost me bintan flip flops. Where's my smoke gone?
Speaker 2:What the Hang on a minute? Is that Ray? No, the dust. That's the bluebird. It's Bobby. Bobby's there. He's joined the wall. What the hell have we been doing? We've joined the cult, you crazy idiot. What the hell this is doing? We've joined a cult, you crazy idiot. What the hell this is your influence? Where's Seb? Hang on a minute Now, sobered up, I realise he got out on a helicopter with Fur K two days ago.
Speaker 4:Oh, I wondered where he went.
Speaker 2:Oh God, bobby, Thank God for you oh.
Speaker 3:God.
Speaker 2:Bobby.
Speaker 4:The blue bird. This brings it all back.
Speaker 2:President-elect Trump is out.
Speaker 4:So that little blonde thing is sticking outside the foil.
Speaker 2:I think it's going to be all right. Bobby just knocked his eyebrow off with a wing mirror, but you know just clipped him.
Speaker 3:I thought it was a wig, it was not.
Speaker 2:Look out, it's an eyebrow wig. Look out, no, he's getting up. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. What the hell's going on? It's a revolt. Pastus Furius is on his way over it.
Speaker 4:He looks cross, hang on a minute Guys.
Speaker 2:We're two foot off the ground. What is this High above us?
Speaker 4:Where's my smoke going?
Speaker 2:You're naked. Oh it's beautiful. I'm naked. What a beautiful thing Bobby's naked.
Speaker 3:We're all naked now.
Speaker 2:Bobby, you're the big man around town.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'll just give you that Everything's floating. What's going on?
Speaker 2:The bluebird's floating. Oh, oh, take me life, take me. Look at Pastor, get back here, boy.
Speaker 1:Back, back. He doesn't sound that good.
Speaker 4:Where did he get that?
Speaker 2:sauna from. I'm coming up, baby. Well, hang on a minute. It's gone dark and now what's this under my feet? Metal.
Speaker 4:Where are we Hang on? We're in a isn't? This isn't the great ascension?
Speaker 2:why is there a fake copy of g1 jockey on the side pluggies. I hope these are fake nappies because otherwise they're, oh, smuggies. There's the fake nappies. Battle of endor. What's this? The?
Speaker 4:fake nappies. Battle of Endor. What's this? Hang on. What's this? There's an unofficial controller over here. Looks like a knock-off PS3, one for an Xbox.
Speaker 2:No, it's built-on. It's a novelty, built-on controller.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow, I'll have that. I was going to say I'll put it in my pocket, but I've got the schmuck on.
Speaker 2:None of us mind that we're totally naked. Hang on a minute.
Speaker 4:What's this crack?
Speaker 2:of light. There's a door.
Speaker 4:Who's that? Oh my God, it's a silhouette. Who is that? All I can see is a figure with a mullet. Oh my God, beautiful Is that? Is that a stingray? It is, is that Wayne?
Speaker 3:Ray it looks like it.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, he's come to save us this is amazing. God, I miss you.
Speaker 4:Ray, he's come to save us.
Speaker 2:How are you seeing him?
Speaker 4:Well, to me he looks like, you know, like the alien greys. He looks like one of them in dungarees with a pair of Gola 1980s running trainers on and he's got a cowboy hat, but he's still got that Lambert and Butler and I know that's Ray and Wayne. Looks like a little Bill Tong flip-flop just sitting beside him. This is beautiful.
Speaker 2:Absolutely beautiful, Bobby. How are you?
Speaker 3:he looks just like sydney sweeney, and he's jumping up and down and I'm ready to go and go in there immediately and hug him. And and then little Wayne, little Wayne, he looks like little Wayne. Oh my God, it's incredible. This is absolutely incredible.
Speaker 2:I'm seeing Sting as all the best.
Speaker 2:Christmas ideas that you ever had, that never used, and I'm seeing Wayne as basically a piece of coal, but he's wearing a piece of Satsuma skin. It's a Trump wig. You look great, wayne, yeah, oh, wow, okay. Listen what Wayne says. It's been a while since I said your name and they've got new teeth now and I didn't realise quite how dangerous it would be having a character called Stingray and Wayne back in the script. Pastor Longhorn easy you guys, difficult Now. It's wonderful to see you both. What's that sting? This has been all an elaborate scheme by you and Wayne to skim funds off. Pastor Longhorn, faking this whole alien thing. I've got to admit it's your best scam. The only problem with it, sting, the only paying members of the cult were me, rgt, seb and Skye, so you've basically You've bled us dry.
Speaker 2:You've bled us dry, but you got us out. Guilt got the better of you, did it? No, you just wanted a different location and you wanted to be back in the show. That's totally fine, stig. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, do me one favour With all these powers and magic that you have, maybe you can let us have our game of 2025 ahead of time. Perfect, Gentlemen, while we sit around in this salubrious uh well, I think the americans would refer to this crafter now as a drone, unidentified drone, uh, among the many that are in the skies. Isn't it amazing how we did all of this script six months ago and it's paying off in real life with the drones and the ufos and all?
Speaker 4:I want to see a YouTube video now of someone filming a drone in New Jersey going there goes Steamboat, there goes the Rayboys.
Speaker 2:He's given us the power to get reach into the future. It's probably a fake, so it's probably going to end up being basically Gauntlet Legends on the PS2, but it's going to have the box art of the game that we want. Bobby, reach into Reach deep in Ray's boot and tell me what game are you reaching into 2025? And that RGT are said into, not round. Okay, sorry, oh, I'm into it, just because we're not wearing smocks. It's not just a, I'm not wearing anything but Carte Blanche should be down there, bobby.
Speaker 3:Well, hopefully I'm trying to find a pair of underwear first.
Speaker 4:Well, Ray said he'll sell us a shell suit each for £50, but I think he's probably taken enough off us. To be honest, he probably did.
Speaker 3:Now, this is the longest sock ever. This keeps going in it. I'm in it and nothing in there. But one one game came out. It's the game I already have, but oh my god, it's, it's. It's the actual full game of path of exile 2. Yes, looks like a nintendo code with an xbox logo on it, but you know what, I'll take it anyway. If it works, it works. If it works, it works baby.
Speaker 2:RGT, what are you pulling out of his festive boot?
Speaker 4:Well, I'm looking in here and for some reason, the way I'm seeing it, there is games everywhere here, and do you know what? They're? All games I own, because I'm not looking for one game next year. It's not one game next year, it's not one game I'm looking for to play. I just need to start playing my backlog because I'm a buying but I ain't playing. So I need to start working my way through and that's from. I've got ps1 games and everything and I've just got a pile of them here. Need to get the new shed built, get the games played and start playing this backlog and catch up. So it's not one in particular that it stat parlayer that stings.
Speaker 2:Just give me to saying get playing, boy nice of you to holistically bring it back around to sort of uh, christmas, love and joy there. I like what you've done sneaky, uh, but it's it ticked the, it's stitched the show back together. That's what we needed. I'm gonna smash it all apart, though, because what am I hoping to play? No, I'm reaching in and I'm grabbing out a copy of Intergalactic the Heretic Prophecy. Hang on a minute. No, what am I thinking? What do you mean, ray? I'm allowed to the show's put on me over the years. That's very nice, very kind of you.
Speaker 2:Ray's changed. You've changed Ray. Gta 6? You've changed, right, gta 6? And a copy of Intergalactic the Heretic Prophecy. I am feeling like an absolute king. That's your summer gone. Christmas just got the upgrade that you never thought it was going to get. This is absolutely wonderful. There's me sat saying there's no game to play and all of a sudden, I've got the two hottest tickets in town in my back pocket. I don't think that I could ask for more. The only thing that I probably would wish for is if we need a new home, guys, I don't know when do we go?
Speaker 2:I don't know Hang on a minute what You've always wanted to play out your megaforce fantasies. You're going to airdrop us out the back in the Bluebird To our new location. And where is that? It's a surprise.
Speaker 4:Will the Bluebird be able to take that? It took a bit of a beating on the jump. I hope so. Is that?
Speaker 3:a parachute in that bad boy. Yeah, look at the bluebird be able to take that. It took a bit of a beating on the jump?
Speaker 4:I hope so Is that a parachute in that bad boy yeah.
Speaker 2:Look at the bluebird oh wow, there's not a scratch on it, that's weird Looks, brand new Looks, like it came out of.
Speaker 3:Nissan's showroom in 1988.
Speaker 2:Hang on White wheels, baby. Hang on. Ray wants us to. Okay, he wants us to get in it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, good luck with a 1980s nissan bluebird crash cell in the front seat no, I see that face at the back, like I did when I was a kid the only time that's had airbags in it is when Debs Babs got a lift to the, to the wagon oh yeah okay.
Speaker 2:Well, guys, I wanna, if we don't survive this, I wanna say Merry Christmas to everyone that listens and to everyone who supports the show. We wanna say thank you very much and Merry Christmas. We hope you've enjoyed the Area 51 era, bobby, it's good to have you back. Thank you for committing to such an elaborate scheme. One would say it probably did pay off in this mediocre episode. But you know what? If it ain't sneaky, I'm not about it. Well, I'm not about it.
Speaker 4:You know, what I mean.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm all for it. On that note, we're going to commit to jumping out the back of this UFO.
Speaker 4:I'm a bit nervous about this.
Speaker 3:Still no close, but we're going out, let's go.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's any better way for my corpse to be found.
Speaker 4:Yes, can you hold my hand again?
Speaker 2:That's not my hand again, george, this is my hand there we go Is a handigan, a fingerless glove, and it's like a cardigan for your hand.
Speaker 3:I don't know when did that come from? What I did find over here was a National Lampoon's nut warmer Wow.
Speaker 2:I think they work in conjunction with each other, to be fair.
Speaker 3:It's pretty cosy. Actually, it's knitted.
Speaker 2:Wow, okay, will you put it on? I'm going to embrace. Yeah, hang on, I'm opening the manual. Sunroof, we're having it. Oh, old school baby hang on. I'm opening the manual son right, we're having it.
Speaker 3:Oh, old school baby, it's gonna be blasphemy.
Speaker 2:Hang on, let me stand on the transmission tunnel. Shut up, wayne. You've had worse flapping in your face, right, it's your height. Okay, it's not pervy, it's your height.
Speaker 4:FIRE IT. Okay, it's not pervy, it's your height For it.
Speaker 1:Still they drive hard down muddy roads. Vhs tapes, heavy and tall Wayne beside him. Baby wipes Selling nappies in the moonlight. Still they live sticky with secrets. Blue movies hidden for dark nights. Old Farmerton waits their shout. Raven calls the swampy rout Lines.
Speaker 1:Twist round the blackened trail. Quest on for a pirate tale Through the mocking bios grip. Determined hearts on dodgy trip. Crickets sing their swampy song. Path is dense and miles long. Wind giggles with the baby's laugh, holding tight the pirate's stash. Moon shines on the murky path. Soft sweat from the trekking raft. Brave the gators. Brave the grime villagers, wait on smuggle time. Thank you, cries. Engine hums a dangerous tune underneath the slicked out moon I'm Swiss. Round the blackened trail. Quest on for a pouty tale Through the muck and bayou's grip. Determined hearts on dodgy trip. Crickets sing their swampy song. Path is dense and miles long. Wayne giggles with a baby's laugh, holding tight the pirate's stash Moon shines on the murky path. Salt sweat from the trekking raft. Brave the gators. Brave the grime Villagers, wait on smuggle time.
Speaker 1:Outro Music the longhorn wears a grin in the shadowed night, whispered promises of a future bright. But the darkness creeps. We know it's wrong. We seek our path where we belong. In the deepest night, under moon's faint gleam, stingray comes calling, like in a vivid dream, waiting him. Arms wide, open wide To foment on. Our hearts collide. We break the chains that held us tight. Found our saviors in that prison light, leaving caught behind, embracing free Farmer Tim wakes. That's where we'll be. Longhorns group was forboding, cold Stories of power and tales of old. But the sky turned, rendered all lies the truth found in our friend's eyes, beneath the stars. We take our chance, dancing spirits in a daring trance. Stingray wing guiding truth. We break the chains that held us tight. Found our saviors in that prison light, leaving cult behind and racing free. Farmerton waits. That's where we'll be.
Speaker 1:Guitar solo, guitar, solo. Gather round boys. Join me in prayer and song as we prepare for the great ascension. Feel the spirit here where you belong. This sacred trust is our own redemption. Lift your voices and let them soar to the sky. In this holy bound we find our way. Eternal life in the sweet by and by. Together we rise, come what may. In this quiet vale where the rivers flow, we build a home, a haven. Strong, with faith as our guide, we'll surely grow, unite as one. We've waited long. Lift your voices, let them soar to the sky. In this holy bound we find our way. Eternal life in the sweet by and by. Together we rise come what may. Morning light brings a promise divine. Every step we take heaven's near. Hand in hand, our hearts align. No more sorrow, no more fear. Lift your voices, let them soar to the sky. In this holy bound we find our way. Eternal life in the sweet. By and by. Together we rise come what may, come what may. Yeah, george and Seb rolling down the road. Rgt riding shotgun at heavy load. Pastor Longhorn waiting to unfold. Rgt riding shotgun to heavy low. Pastor Longhorn waiting to unfold.
Speaker 1:An El Paso, texas tale's been told, one-armed being a sight to see. Pastor preach, preach, set you free. Georgian said they'd bend the knee. Rgt nodding yes, in glee. Join the cult in El Paso town when Pastor Longhorn's got his crown One arm high, the other down. We're past. The Longhorns got his crown One arm high, the other down, we're the wildest show around. Sunday's hot, the desert air. Georgian said oh, feel the glare. Longhorn's words Hang everywhere. Salvation found Without a care. Sunday's hot, the desert air. Georgian said oh, feel the glare. Longhorn's words Hang everywhere. Salvation found without a care. Rgt plays a sacred tune. Underneath the El Paso moon, longhorn grins from afternoon To the night. They'll see it soon. Join the colt in El Paso town where Pastor Longhorn's got his crown. One high, the other down. We're the wildest show around. We're the wildest show around. We're the wildest show around. I love out.