Active Listening

Lauren Malcolm joins the podcast to unpack Active Listening and the power and potential of this spiritual skill. Lauren helps us consider ways we can approach & respond to others that leads to unity, mutual understanding and ultimately individual and collective growth. 

As followers of Jesus, we are learners, & most learning is contingent upon listening. There is so much opportunity to glorify God & advance His purposes through building a community of active listeners amidst a culture of contempt. God is equipping us to take his Kingdom to deeper places by banding together and hearing each other out. 

About the Speaker

Lauren Malcolm lives in State College, PA with her handsome husband Jamison, three wonderful children (Rory, Luke and Jordan), and mini golden doodle Miley. Born in the Midwest and raised in CA with a brief interlude in Jersusalem, Israel, Lauren has grown up in diverse environments and attended The University of Georgia for college where she studied Latin American and Caribbean Studies. Later she attended the University of Pennsylvania where she got her Masters in Social Work. She currently leads the Nittany Church alongside her husband. She loves talking and connecting with people and has had to learn to be a better listener. 

Active Listening implies engagement, reflection, and asking clarifying questions. You aren’t just listening to get someone off your back or to get to your point, but you are listening with the intent of making them feel heard and learning alongside them.

1 Kings 10:1-5

Example of Solomon and Queen of Sheba

Take aways:

Come with questions:

• She recognized an opportunity to learn!
• She came with the intent to learn.
• Learners' spirits- We need to be eager to ask questions and seek understanding.

Be honest with what’s inside:

• We need to bring our full selves to what we do and not be afraid to share honestly where we are stuck and struggling.

Accept the test:

• Solomon was not reactive!
• We accept the test by putting on humility...he didn’t get threatened by her questions or react defensively- the true test was her trust in God.

Invest:

• Trust has to be built first. Manage expectations. 

"When I take the time to draw out someone’s heart rather than defending myself, I am able to learn and own my part and they are able to learn and take responsibility for their part."

Are we going to miss the opportunity to grow in the character of Christ and in relationships that build up the Kingdom JUST because of the way the information is presented? 

Practically how can we engage in active listening:

1. Be attentive - Mindful of body language, eye contact, distractions, etc. 
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions “How did what I say land on you?”
3. Ask Probing Questions - Dig to get to the heart of what they’re trying to communicate. 
4. Request Clarification “I’m a little confused by this piece, can you help me understand?:
5. Paraphrase “So this is what I hear you saying….”
6. Be attuned to and reflect feelings “I imagine that you felt _____, is that what you felt?”
7. Summarize “Here’s what I’m taking away from this conversation… is there anything else?” 

God is equipping us to take his Kingdom to deeper places by banding together and hearing each other out. 

We have so much to be learned from each other and the future of the church depends upon it. So let us become active listeners who truly seek