It's OK To Change Your Mind - Navigating Transformative Times

There comes a moment when the comfort of the familiar loses its luster, and the road less traveled beckons. As I sit down to share my story, you're not just a listener; you're part of a collective sigh of relief and a journey into the unknown. We're all entangled in the fabric of change, and it's here, in this intimate conversation, where I strip back the layers of a decade-long project that’s grown heavy on my heart. This isn't about abandoning ship; it's about the courage to set sail towards new horizons. And as we traverse this terrain, we'll uncover the subtle yet profound power of stillness and the trust we must place in the universe—even when it feels like we're dancing with uncertainty.

 So tune in, and let's walk this path together—towards self-discovery, growth, and the beautiful surprises life has in store when we dare to let go.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi, I'm Sabrina Soto. I believe the best conversations are with friends who are really able to open themselves up and share their lives, both the good parts and the bad. You're going to be listening to some of those candid conversations and hopefully gaining some insight to help you redesign your life from the inside out. Welcome to another episode of Redesigning Life. Today I am by myself. I'm doing a podcast episode, sort of on the fly, because I have been having a conversation over and over the same sort of conversation with multiple people and I feel like everyone's going through this same thing that I'm about to talk about. I'm wondering if you're going through it too. I want you to know that you're not alone. We're in it together, and that is change and fear, change in the way of I.

Speaker 1: 0:56

I am in this spot in my life where I don't necessarily I know where I've been. I don't want to stay there anymore and I'll go into detail in a second, but I don't really know where I want to be, and that's scary. So what happened was I got this phone call and it's about a project that I've been working on for the last 10 years maybe even more than that, to be honest and I have been working on developing this project and I've been really excited about it. And then I sort of let it go about a year and a half ago. And I got a phone call a few weeks ago saying that the project's sort of getting picked back up again. And you would think that I was excited getting that call. But when I got off the phone I realized I wasn't really that excited. As a matter of fact, I thought I don't really want to do that anymore and is that okay? Is it okay that I put 10 plus years into developing something? And I don't want it anymore? That's scary and I felt strange about it. And then I realized it's okay. It's okay to know that where you've been you don't really want to stay there anymore, or where you are you don't want to be, but it's okay not to be clear of where you want to go. And that's a new sort of thing for me. I mean, I'm a Capricorn hustler and I've always had goals and vision boards and you know, the three-year, five-year, 10-year plan all laid out. And to think that those, those bullet points on that three, five, 10-year plan I need to cross out now, is a strange unfamiliar territory for me. So I started talking about this with a few of my friends and some coworkers, and I also got a lot of me too's like I feel that way too, and I'm not inspired of what I've been doing either, but I'm just going to keep doing it because that's all I know how to do. And I get that, trust me. I get that I've spent a long time creating projects and then to think that they're going to move forward, yet I don't want to. It's strange, because it's like, well, I don't want to move forward with that project, but what project do you want to move forward with? And right now I don't know. Actually, I really don't know. And that's okay. It's okay Because here's the thing that I do know In my life and I talked about this on the podcast about journaling, because what I love about journaling is not just the daily event that I get to do and the daily gratitude, but cataloging where I've been, how I felt, because you forget, I forget how I felt five years ago about a certain situation and sometimes it's just fun to read back really how things were.

Speaker 1: 4:25

And I remember there was this project. This was before Olivia was born, so maybe 12 years ago, and it was like my dream dream show that I've always wanted to do, and I auditioned many auditions I think there was like five and I got the job and we did a pilot. The pilot was picked up and it was picked up by a syndicator for daytime. I was just beyond thrilled to be able to do this. And I was working on another show and I'd gotten off set and I went to my hotel room and I got a call basically saying that everything was called off, even though contracts were signed, everything was already moving forward, stuff shifted and they weren't going to move forward with the project anymore. I remember what I was wearing. I remember what the furniture looked like in this hotel room. I remember everything because it was one of those moments where I felt like somebody punched me in the stomach and my career was over and I was never going to do anything again and that was my dream job and I was just going to be miserable for the rest of my life, which obviously wasn't true. But I realized, looking back now my gosh, if I would have gotten that, yes, probably I would have had fun, but I wouldn't have moved back to LA to be closer to my family, because the show was based in New York City, I probably wouldn't have had Olivia, my life wouldn't be what it is now, and I love having my life now. So I'm telling you that story to go.

Speaker 1: 6:03

You know, even when you think something is catastrophic in your life, that you didn't get something, that it always ends up working out. And I realized that now that, even though I don't know what the path is going to be and that it's not all laid out for me like this golden road, that I just have to be still and trust the universe. I have to practice what I preach and I do believe it. And you know, I'm sure you have this in your life where you know what the right thing is to do but sometimes feels like weird to do it, whether it's eating healthy or meditating or whatever it's like. It's hard for me sometimes to be in that space of trusting the universe when I feel out of alignment or I feel a little turned around. But I do trust that it's okay to be still, even for a hustler, go-getter like me with all the plans and all of everything laid out, to not have everything laid out just yet, and I know it's probably just temporary.

Speaker 1: 7:09

So if you are going through this too, which a lot of my friends are that you feel like the things that you have been working on maybe aren't inspiring you as much anymore and that you want to make a change. But you're in a little bit of fear. Just take a deep breath. We're all in this together. Everything's going to work out. It always does, it really does, and it's it's about being still enough to take inspired action, and that's another thing that I have a problem doing is being still. But every time that I am still and quiet and I really go within and I tap into my authenticity and my soul is when I find the answers, and it's these times that that's so important. But it's also these times where you don't want to be still and you don't want to be quiet because you want to inundate yourself with noise and to sort of distract yourself from being worried. But that's that's not what I, that's not what I'm forcing myself to do now is just to be still.

Speaker 1: 8:20

I went on a retreat last November and it was the first time in my life. It was seven days. They took away your phone. You couldn't read, you obviously couldn't talk on the phone, no internet, nothing, and it was days from basically seven am to sometimes nine o'clock at night of journaling and meditation, some silence and workshops, and those seven days really did change a lot of the way that I look at things, because I also got a lot of answers to things that I was on the fence about. And I think that I got those answers because I was still and I realized getting out of implementing those practices in my everyday life and that's hard, of course, to be still.

Speaker 1: 9:09

But I think if you are in this transition point where you feel uneasy and it could be the relationship you're in, it could be the job you're in, their friend group, whatever your passions, if you're in this space that you just aren't getting ignited anymore for the things that you've have done but you don't know what you want to do. Practice being still and embrace the journey of life and the acceptance that it's okay to change your mind, it's okay to want new things. We are humans and we get to evolve. I mean our taste buds change. How could we expect our chains, like our wants and our well, like tastes in life and our goals to not change with us?

Speaker 1: 10:11

But you don't have to necessarily also face the change alone, and I think I was doing that at first I was kind of scared to tell people or to admit that I didn't want to do. And in my life this has to do a lot with my career and things that I want to work on, as opposed to things that I have been like sort of a shift in my message and what I want to do. So that's what that's what I'm going through personally in my life, um, but being able to sort of reframe the perception of change and instead of viewing it as a threat, I have to view it as an opportunity of self-discovery. And it's in these times of change that I noticed that I learn the most about myself and my own capabilities and my ability to bounce back from adversity and to adapt new circumstances in my life, which I've done over and over and over again. So if I've done it before, why am I worried about doing it again? And I realized I just have to sort of put myself in check. So if you're finding yourself at the crossroads of fear and change, just to remember that it's the only ways to grow really is to embrace the unknown and to step boldly into your future self. And what steps can you take today to make your tomorrow self proud. That's another thing that I've noticed that I don't need. I don't have to do it all overnight to create this new persona that I want to embody overnight, because it doesn't happen that way. But what are these tiny little steps that I could take today to make my, to take one more step into the person that I want to become?

Speaker 1: 11:48

There's a book that I'm reading, I think for the second time now Atomic Habits. If you haven't heard of it, listen to it, either on Audible or get a copy of it. It's fantastic. But it is about making the small changes, and I think when we think about change, it's sort of overwhelming to have to overhaul your entire life and it doesn't happen that way. So realize that you can seek support with your family and friends, and I urge you to talk to your close ones about this, because when I have, I feel like a bit of the loads taken off my shoulders, because when I do talk about the things that I want to accomplish and shift into, no one's like what You're crazy, it's more like that's cool. Do that, and you know how can I help.

Speaker 1: 12:37

And it's sometimes we make these stories up in our heads that aren't true, of how people aren't going to accept you or be okay with you wanting to change the things in your life. And you'd be surprised how the people who love you want to support you and sometimes see things in you that you haven't been able to see yourself. I feel like I'm so so in the forest that I can't see the trees, and so I've I've enlisted help to just hired a consultant to help me sort of lay out what my future self could look like with my career, and I'm kind of excited about that. But change is inevitable in our life. It really is the constant thing. But it's also scary because our subconscious mind it's better to stay in the familiar, even if it's not healthy. Just stay there because you know it's the devil you don't know is better than the devil you don't know. Is that saying right? Is that the saying? I always get sayings wrong. I just didn't grow up with them so I don't really know them. But that's not true and it's about wanting more for yourself.

Speaker 1: 13:51

And another thing that I've been sort of implementing in my life is being a person of my word, which is one of the four agreements another great book, by the way, and really, really, if I say that I'm going to do something, I do it for everyone else. I've always have. But I started realizing the only person I haven't really done that for in my life is me. I will say to myself that I'm going to do X, y and Z, and then I don't, and I'm sabotaging myself. And every time that you do that sorry, I'm going off on a tangent here, but every time that you say that you're going to do something and you don't do it for yourself, you stop trusting yourself as much. Just like if you told a friend that you're going to show up and constantly didn't show up, your friend would stop trusting you. It the same goes for yourself. So that's another thing. During this time of change and transition, I am really taking that and taking it seriously. If I'm going to, if I tell myself that I'm going to do something whether it work out, eating healthy, not endlessly scrolling on social media to distract myself that I really don't do it. And I've realized it's those baby steps that start lifting up my self-esteem to the point that I start attracting better things for myself, and I do believe that's how it works. It's about the things you attract, the things that you think you're worthy of. So this ties back into change. If you want to change any category of your life, start working on putting yourself into the mindset of creating the person that will be ready for your new opportunity.

Speaker 1: 15:52

I've told this story before, but when I the whole reason I'm on HGTV I was watching a documentary called the Secret, and back then this was before it was on Oprah I was told about it from a friend and you could watch it online. It was like $4 and 95 cents to download and I watched it. This was in 2006 and, uh, something clicked inside of me and after I watched it, the whole secret is about the law of attraction and how you bring in manifest things into your life. And when I finished watching it the next day, I was in like bootcamp to be on TV. That's what I wanted to do is to be back on TV, cause I'd been on TV years and years earlier. But there was this like lull and I went into this bootcamp to get myself ready, tv ready. I didn't have a TV opportunity coming my way. I didn't even have an agent, I think at the time I didn't have anything, but I was working out like I'm getting ready to be back on television, and that's the way I saw it. Every day I'm getting ready. I would start shopping for clothes that are that would look good on television, things that were solid and colorful and fun, and I just got a few pieces and a lot of people in my life thought that I was crazy, but I didn't, because I knew that I was training to be my future self. And, lo and behold, from the moment that I watched the Secret, 16 weeks later I was on set filming Get it Sold, which was my first HGTV show.

Speaker 1: 17:25

So if again, if you're in this sort of in-between stage, so if again, if you're in this sort of in-between stage, like who do you want to be? What little steps can you take today to sort of embody the new self that you want to be six months from now, a year from now, five years from now? And also know that, even if you are scared of being in this transitional phase of your life, this is exactly where you're supposed to be. You're not late. You're not too late to start. Whatever you want to start, there's room for you, there's room for it to be successful, and you're exactly where you need to be and embrace the beauty of the in-between and that space of endless possibilities, because the universe will guide you towards fulfilling your dream. And I realized that that's the space that I'm in now, and a lot of people talk about the journey after they've already reached their destination, like, oh, I'm here now, I'm super successful. Let me tell you how I got here, which I love that story, love that inspiration.

Speaker 1: 18:33

But I'm telling you the story of I'm in that in-between time right now, of wanting to develop something new, not really necessarily knowing what that looks like, but knowing it's not necessarily everything that I've been creating. So just ask yourself what would you do if you had no fear, no fear at all of what anybody else thought, maybe even what you are fearful of. If there was no fear in your life, what would you create? Who would you be? Because if fear rules your life, then you're doing a disservice to yourself and just know it's okay to change your mind, it's okay. It's okay, embrace it, growth, possibility. It's on the other side of fear. So I'll keep you posted.

Speaker 1: 19:22

I know that I'm going to read my journal a year from now and I'm like, oh, my God, I did it and oh, one more little tool that I've been using. You might want to use and it's in a lot, of, a lot of attraction books, but it's the visualization, and I think it was Esther Hicks Maybe I'm getting that wrong with says to hold the thought for 17 seconds. So it goes like this of being able and if you don't even have 17 seconds, wake up 17 seconds earlier on your alarm, but to just close your eyes and visualize how you want to feel and what you want to do in your mind and really feel it. And I did this. I'm doing it now, but I did this and it really worked.

Speaker 1: 20:01

When I got the job being Target's home spokesperson, I was on the train like hoping this, and I had interviewed for that position probably three times, maybe even more, and I remember I was on the train and I just was sitting there closing my eyes, thinking about like being working with them, and I was on like this photo shoot and the bullseye was behind me and the dog and, um, I really happy, and I held it and I was held it for so long I think my eyes started tearing up because I was so happy and at the end of that train ride, that one, I got the call that I got the job. I'm not saying it's that instantaneous, because it's not always, but being able to really feel the way that you are wanting to feel and whatever it is you want to create in your life, and trying to hold that. Let's just do it for 20 seconds. You know what I'm going to. I'm going to one up asterisks. Let's do it for 20 seconds, but just to hold it, and that's not a lot of time, um, and just feel that. Try to do that daily. But if you are going through this transitional time, this time of unknown, dm me, send me any messages. I read them all the time and just know that you're not alone. We're all in it together.

Speaker 1: 21:19

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