How to build a legacy in your career, family, and personal life with Carl H. Sharperson, Jr.

What does it mean to build a legacy? How do you build a career that your family will be proud of? How do you take control of your future rather than waiting for things to happen? 

Today's guest is Carl H. Sharperson, Jr. He is a former Division 1 football player, US Naval Academy graduate, US Marine Corps officer and pilot, a leader in 3 Fortune 500 companies, and my dad! 

In this episode you'll learn the following: 

1. Adversity is a gift
2. Your past experiences are the key to your future success
3. Strategies to elevate your career and earn more money 
4. Mindset determines your perspective, which determines your legacy 

Connect with Carl:
Website: http://www.carlsharpersonjr.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWm8XJaJGNgVUFocmQm9EQw
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlsharperson
Email: CarlSharperson@thekiddergroup.com
Sharp Leadership: Overcome Adversity to Lead with Authenticity on Amazon

Connect with Casey:
Order a signed copy of Casey's Book (US only):
www.CaseySharperson.com/book

Order Dream, Build, Repeat: Harness Fear to Confidently Pursue Your Biggest Dreams - Amazon

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CaseyCarea
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseycarea/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/CaseySharperson
Website: www.CaseySharperson.com
Email: Hello@CaseySharperson.com

Transcript

Casey Sharperson:   0:06
Hi. Welcome to the Dream, Build, Repeat podcast. My name is Casey Sharperson - host of the podcast as well as speaker, Confidence Cultivator and author of the book Dream Build Repeat: Harness Fear to Confidently Pursue Your Biggest Dreams. And I'm really excited today to talk about the topic of legacy and leadership and life. But considering that I have not lived an entire life of like 100 years, I thought that it would be helpful to bring on a guest that can talk about what it looks like to build a family and to build a legacy. And really take a look at how our day to day choices and how our goals really end up impacting every single aspect of our lives. So really excited to introduce to you all my special guest for today. And it is Carl Sharperson,  Jr and the name might sound familiar because and share the same last name because he is my father, so really excited to have him on. I'm going to read a little bit about his bio and then jump into the conversation.  

Casey Sharperson:   1:17
Carl Sharperson Jr. is a Leadership Innovation Strategist, speaker, and coach. He is the author of the book Sharp Leadership: Overcome Adversity to Lead with Authenticity. Carl specializes in taking leaders from mediocre to maximizing their potential in work and personal life. He is passionate about this message because he understands that most people are only working at 50% capacity due to lack of clear leadership, development or job fit. He transforms his audiences and coaching clients through his proprietary Sharp Leadership coaching process, as well as drawing from his unique experiences in the military, corporate America and Entrepreneurship. A graduate of the United States Naval Academy and former United States Marine Corps pilot with a B S in engineering, Carl had the opportunity to document those experiences in another book, which is Short Rations for Marines and For My sons and Brothers. Following his service, he went on to hold a number of senior sales at operational positions with Procter and Gamble, Frito Lay and Colgate Palmolive. In fact, he was the vice president of manufacturing for an international sports company, where he felt the tug towards entrepreneurship. He then launched Sharperson's Executive Leadership in the year 2000 where he has worked with executives at companies including Harley Davidson, GlaxoSmithKline, Sara Lee, BMW Edward Jones, Houston independent school district. Lockheed Martin, Honeywell, University of North Carolina and Chick fil A. Just name a few. So without further ado, we can welcome Carl Sharperson Junior. Also my father. So welcome, Dad.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   3:15
Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

Casey Sharperson:   3:18
Well, excited to have you. I had a short in your bio because it's really long done. A lot of stuff. So I had to call out. You know, you've had a Fortune 500 experiences. You're in the military, you're an entrepreneur. So you have a lot of different experiences to draw from. But I want to start out the discussion and learn more about your book and your book. Sharp Leadership. I mean, really talk about what caused you to write that book. Because ultimately, the conversation today is that legacy and really being in author is a part of your legacy. So tell us a little bit about the book and what caused you to write it.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   4:00
What caused me to write the book was my daughter, Casey calling me one day and asking me if I was serious about writing the book. And I said, Yeah, kinda. She says, Well, if you're committed to writing your book, and I found a book coach and I'll connect you with the book coach and I'll pay for the service up through the manuscript. So that's what got me to really start documenting. I mean, I had written things over the years, especially when I was sick, I was documented a little bit more, but it was kind of daunting to put it on paper. Have it makes sense, have dramatically correct because that's not my gift. But once I got somebody to help me with that, then you know, I kind of organized it and just it flowed from the experiences that I had. It was just my life. Different parts of my life kind of went through from zero to where I was then said, What kind of things they don't want to talk about And then what is it about the story? And then I go back and forth with the book coach and she was, like, 30 years old. So if she can understand my book and what I'm trying to say, then everybody can cause a lot of times when you're writing things, you know what you're trying to say, but you leave periods out and stuff because you kind of, you know, you put in what It's not there just because you know we're supposed to be. So that's kind of what gave me the tug to actually write the book.

Casey Sharperson:   5:30
Okay, so I was not fishing for a compliment, cause I know that people that are listening to this are gonna say that I planted that question. I did not plant the question I just wanted you to share your process. So once you got to the point of deciding, you know, "I'm going to write this book. I want to share my experiences." The book is entitled Sharp Leadership: Overcome Adversity to Lead with Authenticity. So what was the ultimate message that you wanted people to take away from the book?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   6:02
It was kind of an evolution. Basically, what I want people to take away from the book is simple, practical leadership principles that anybody can employ and their principles that I have learned and used and seeing effective in the family as a Division one football player, as a military officer and pilot in the Marine Corps in three Fortune 500 companies in a privately held company, in the church, in nonprofits and every other arena that I have been in. And there are some things that I call them strike issues, things that you never not do. And those are some of the basic principles. For example, one of things that you always do is a leader is. You always do what you say you're gonna do. You always do what you say you do that's non negotiable. You always do that when you get credibility. Another simple principle that you always do is you always take care of your people. No matter what happens, you got to take care of your people. That doesn't mean that you enable them, but you give them the tools that they need to be successful. And you never violate that. Because if you take care of your people, your people will take care of you. If you don't take care of your people, your people won't take care of you. So that's kind of what's in the book. Uh, different life examples of  that.

Casey Sharperson:   7:48
Excellent. Okay, so on this vein of leadership, depending on who's listening to this podcast, I have a guess about out kind of the age range of folks that are listening. So, what advice would you give to someone who maybe doesn't think of themselves as holding a leadership position? You know, they're not a VP of anything or in a Fortune 500 company. So, what advice do you have for someone in their twenties or thirties, or maybe even forties who doesn't necessarily see themselves as a leader? What would you say to them? What pieces of advice or takeaways would you give them?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   8:29
Well, no matter where you are in life. I mean, you come out of the womb, you either leader or a follower, right? If you look at individuals that are siblings, somebody rises to the leadership role. Was that mean? That means somebody in the family of the siblings is leading people getting people to do stuff. Getting their peers getting their siblings to do something. Okay, that's leadership. So I would say that these basic principles you're gonna you one of two things. Either your leader or you're a follower.  And if you happen to be a follower all the time, then you might follow somebody who's gonna take you down a rabbit trail. That's not very good. So the principles that I talk about are very, very simple to apply. It takes courage to apply them and be consistent, but it's not rocket science. I had a person who read my book, who was doing a PhD. Get a PhD and leadership, and they read my book and he said, Carl, I want to use your leadership style and your writing style in my thesis because my professor, or my advisor, tells me that my thesis is too academic-speak. So the book is very simple to read. I've had a ten-year-old read it. I've had a 99-year old great-great-grandmother reading. I've had corporate executives read it. I've had 30- year old military officers read it. I've had a pastor use it as a Bible study, so all those arenas, they all kind of glean different things out of it to help them, depending on where they are in their life journey. Somebody, that's a 16 year old just trying to struggle with fitting in would be different then somebody who might be 67 years old that's been diagnosed with, a life threatening disease.

Casey Sharperson:   10:26
Excellent. Okay, so this is for everyone. This is clear, right? So the leadership principles people can apply in their families or they can apply it amongst friends or even in the workplace or ministry. So that's great. And since I've read the book, I wanted to call out a few things in the book that I feel like is really important to understand your journey and one of the key kind of turning points that I noticed within the book was when you transitioned schools. So you're born and raised in Washington, D. C. And then you transitioned to move to Virginia. So can you just talk a little bit about what that experience was like and that part of your life story?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   11:13
Yeah, that was a very, very transformational part in my life. I've grown up in an all African American neighborhood. Everybody looked like me. I was kind of an athlete in the neighborhood, so everybody knew me. I got picked first with the team, so I was kind of like the big man on campus in elementary school and junior high school. And then my dad always wanted to get us out of the city because of the influences in the city. He thought it was a better opportunity for us in the country somewhere. So he moved us when I was 14 years old in the middle of the year and middle of my eighth-grade year, to Spotsylvania, Virginia, which is about 60 miles south of Washington, D. C right between Richmond and Washington, D. C. and right off of  95. During that time period, which was 1967 at the time, it was a one-horse town: a country farm across from us. And during that time period, it had voluntary integration about a year or two, before I got there. So at that time, there was an all-black school. Then there was another school that were a few blacks are white school where a few black said attended. So my parents made us go to the white school. So I was the only one that looked like me and all of my classes, and we got called names on the bus. We got little 3 or 4 inches to sit on the bus got called names.We had a family that was right across the road from us that happen to be a white family. Had cattle and stuff like that used to bale hay,  with then and feed the cattle and feed the hogs, sit at the table and do all kinds of stuff. But when it came time to go to school, you know, they were friendly if the book bus stop. But once we got on the bus, didn't call us names, but they didn't want anybody to know that we were friends, so that, um, I learned a lot from that. I learned that everybody, most people are wearing a wearing a mask, They got a mask for home. You got a mask with church. They got a mask for the workplace. I got a mask around their buddies. Very few people are real. And that's what I saw. But the other thing that I learned saw was I saw people transformed from calling me names to be in my friend primarily because we got to know each other.  Now, the other thing that I did when I when we moved to Spotsylvania was I went out for football my high school coach was the third most influential person in my life. Guy named Coach Sparks. And he was kind of like Vince Lombardi, who's a legendary coach where he leveled the playing field around athletics. My experiences were very similar to the movie Remember the Titans. Very, very similar, except my head coach was white and the assistant coach is black, but the experience is about gelling as a team and getting to know each other. My experiences were very, very similar to that, so I learned a lot of lessons in that time period. I can't say that anybody would sign up and say, "Hey, I want to go through that adversity so I could learn how to be about how to be around and how to communicate to and how to navigate through life with a lot of different people that are different or even those that don't want you there." You know? But since I learned that it's all about relationships and it's about getting to know each other. Then when I went to the Naval Academy and I was the only one in my company, same dynamic, but I had learned some things. I knew that everybody was the same. Everybody wants to be loved. They want to be respected and they want to be successful. I don't care what color you are. I don't care what your nationality is. I don't care what your sex is. Everybody wants the same thing. So I went in with that mindset. So because of that, you know, least socially I understood how to navigate that. And that's a huge advantage. Because if I did not have that experience in Spotsylvania and I went to the Naval Academy and I was the only one in my class, and I was the first time that I experienced that, and then people would say stuff that would have been kind of off-color, and I take offense from it, You know, you gotta pick and choose your battles. So I understood that I knew how to do that. So it served me well, then and continues to serve well,

Casey Sharperson:   15:55
So it's interesting that you that you draw the conclusion that said, you know, had I not gone through the really big shift in the really big transition from junior high to high school, then you don't know if you would have been equipped to make that jump from just straight out of D. C into the Naval Academy. So I think what's important for our listeners to hear and to remember, is that you know every part of your journey has an impact on your future, meaning you know, if you have your adversity at the beginning of your life or at any point of your life, then that adversity is likely preparing you for something else to really kind of go in with a different mindset if you choose to view it in that way. So if you choose to view adversity of something somewhat of a building block in preparation versus just saying, woe is me, then you might have a different outcome and a different perspective.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   16:53
Correct. I tell people all the time when I do some of my seminars that the most important gift that an adult can give their child is the ability to suffer well because life is going to come at you. It's not a matter of if you're going to get knocked down, it's going to be when you're gonna get knocked down. And when you get knocked down. What are you gonna do? How fast you're going to get up. And what are you gonna do when you get up? So adversity is going to hit you some point time. I tell people all the time. I said, you know, unless you get taken out immediately by a car accident or you have a heart attack or something like that will die suddenly, you're going to reach a point in some point in time in your life, where you're not gonna be strong enough. You're not gonna be fast enough. You're not gonna be smart enough. You're not gonna have enough money. And at that point in time. You gotta ask for help. Help for me comes from the Lord and others around me.

Casey Sharperson:   18:00
Okay, so I want circle back. You mentioned you jumped from, you know, integrating a school to the Naval Academy. But before we get to the Naval Academy, I'd like you to tell the story about how you even got to the Naval Academy. And I know that you just had to educate me on how important the Naval Academy is and how difficult it is to get in. So I just want people to have a clear perspective of like what it is to go to a service academy, but also how you came to go on that path.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   18:32
Okay, so I went out for football in the ninth grade. The first time I played tackle football. The head coach, Coach Sparks gave a talk that I'll never forget. He said, uh, you got your pads today. If you don't want to play, turn him in. No harm, no foul. If you stay and play the next day, then I need you to stay until the end of the season because quitters never win and winners never quit, He said. If you quit my football team, you might quit school, quit school, get married you might quit your spouse,  have kids you might quit your kids. Once you quit the first time it's easier to quit the next time. So with that, I came back the next day and made up my mind that I was not gonna quit. I did not have fun, but I was not gonna quit, so I hung in there. That was my ninth-grade year. Never played tackle football before my sophomore year. I started on JV my senior year of the most valuable player of the football team and I was all American on offense and defense and Coach Sparks told me when I was in the 10th grade I was sweeping up the locker room and he said, Carl, what do you want to do after high school? And I said I'm not sure, Coach. He said, If you apply yourself, can I help you get an athletic scholarship. That was the first time that I had even thought about an athletic scholarship. So my senior year in high school after football season, now Coach Sparks left my junior year. He left my junior year after we won the baseball championship, but I didn't know why he left at about 30 year high school reunion. He came back, and that's when I found out. Two things: found out that he left because the assistant coach was black, applied for several positions, and the superintendent denied so Coach Sparks could have been a meeting and said, That's not right. So with that, the superintendent, Toko Sparks, you can teach, but you can't coach. So Coach Sparks left Virginia and went to work and coach in Maryland and he's in the Hall of Fame. The High School Hall of Fame in Maryland. He was an excellent coach. If he had stayed at Spotsylvania High School, he'd have been a legend, legend, legend. He went up there and did very well there. So I didn't know that, until my 30-year reunion. The other thing I didn't know was that he was the one that sent the recruiter to my high school to Spotsylvania to recruit me to play football, and I didn't know that until the 30-year reunion. So my senior year in high school, after the football season is over, we're sitting in a room. We get called to the office, me and two other guys. We don't know why we're getting called to the office and in walks this guy six foot 3, 230 pounds, blue suit, white shirt, blue tie, white covers, he says. I'm from the Naval Academy and I want to recruit you to play football. And I didn't know what the Naval Academy was. It was only 90 miles up the road, primarily because there weren't a whole lot of people who look like me going to the Naval Academy. While I was at the Naval Academy, the class before me, graduated graduate number 100 African American. Not a whole lot of African Americans that matriculated through the Naval Academy at that point in time. So I didn't know what the Naval Academy was. The other two guys, this is during Vietnam. I graduated from high school in 1971. So the Vietnam War was going on and the Vietnam War did not have a good reputation. So the other two guys that were in there walked out of the war. They said I'm not going to Vietnam. I'm not coming home in a body bag. I was the only one who stayed and listened, and I listened because my dad always told me, Never turned down an opportunity that you haven't been offered. So I listen, came home and talked it over with him. He's a World War Two Mumford Point Marine. He said the Navel Academy is a pretty good school, good education. So with that, I said, that sounds like a pretty good deal. Nobody else is knocking on the door giving me money. So I said, I'm going to give it a shot. So I did not get in. I applied, but did not get in because my SAT and my GPA were not competitive. My parents did not force or encourage... Encouraged might not be a good word, but I was not expected to make straight A's. In fact, when I looked at my high school transcript 30 years later for the first time, I never made an A in high school from ninth grade to 12th grade. Has never made an A. I took the right courses. I had a love of math because my third and fourth-grade teacher instilled that in me. I was good at grammar. I didn't like to read, but I took the right courses. Chemistry and physics took the S A T. I didn't prep for it, but I took it. So I was not competitive. Now, the profiles of individuals that get into the Naval Academy are this It's probably 20% Eagle Scouts.  99% have two or three varsity letters. Probably 50% are captains of at least one varsity sport. We're talking about academic achievement. We're talking all kinds of extracurricular activities music, karate, all that kind of stuff. So that's kind of a profile of kids that get into the Naval Academy. Now, I had all that stuff except the academic piece. So, they denied me, but they offered to send me to a preparatory school. So I went to a preparatory school called Marine Military Academy on the southern tip of Texas. The first time I have been on the plane and I learned military discipline the Marine Corps way. And I also learned to study for the first time, I realized that when you study you open a book you read. If you don't understand it, you read it again. If you don't understand it, you read it again. So I learned to study for the first time. I prepped for the SAT,  took academic courses and actually made straight A's during the time that I was at the prep school. I reapplied and got accepted to the Naval Academy.

Casey Sharperson:   25:01
What a story. I just can't believe you never made an A because  I'm just like, who was the father that said you need to make A's Casey? I don't even know where that came from. Okay, thanks for the short story miracle that you got in. A miracle that you have that opportunity. But you sent some key things and one really just the importance of one person's life on your life. So you highlighted several times in the story about your coach who was your football coach and your baseball coach and how him just taking an interest in saying, Hey, here's what you need to do to be successful and I believe that you can do it had, you know, it changed the trajectory of your life because you had something that believed in you. So I think that that's really important to highlight for those that are listening to this one, you never know the impact that you're having on someone but two, really the importance of mentorship and then having people that you know, if you believe that you want to see other people going on the path that you took or you see something even greater for them just expressing that to them, especially somebody who's younger than you. Or that, you really see incredible potential in.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   26:21
I agree, totally. I mean, you never know the impact that you're gonna have all people again. I didn't see Coach Sparks. I hadn't seen him for 30 years. When I saw him at the 30-year high school reunion. 31 years, to be exact. I hadn't seen him. I hadn't heard from him.  I didn't know where he was. Sometimes you'll never know the impact that you have on people. But I've heard it at funerals. People come up and say different things about different people. Like when my dad died that your dad did this. You did. I do that. You just never know. You know how you're going to impact people's lives when you say something life and death is in the power of the tongue.

Casey Sharperson:   27:03
Yeah, that's so true. And just a few other things I want to point out before we move on to the next part of your life. We have a lot of things to cover in your life, but before we move on, I want to discuss your experience. What are 1 to 2 key learnings from your Naval Academy experience and then into the military? I don't know if you can think of a couple things. Big learnings, funny stories, anything like that, that our audience to learn from.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   27:38
Okay, I'll talk about the truth. I'll talk about networking. I'll talk about taking care of people. Yeah. Okay. So, truth, I did a class with some MBA students in California, I lectured about my book. They read my book and they did a project. The project was breaking news and breaking news talked about sharp leadership. And the first young lady that talked about what really resonated with her was, she says, tell the truth, telling the truth. That seems like something simple. But so that's what she focused on was that simple concept of telling the truth. So when you think about it, there are very few people that tell the truth. A lot of people, If you want the truth, you got asked a zillion questions to get the truth. No, but in the military, in the Naval Academy and going through boot camp. You learned at the very beginning how important it is, to tell the truth. Because if you don't tell the truth and you're in the military, let's say you're in mechanical on an aircraft and you, pencil whip, the chart that says there's oil in the reservoir.  

Casey Sharperson:   29:09
What's pencil whip? What's we don't know what that is.  

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   29:12
Yes. You heard it before. Pencil whip?   

Casey Sharperson:   29:15
I don't know. I'm just I'm trying to speak on behalf of the people

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   29:20
That's right. Pencil with means you just write it down. And you didn't look at it. It's not right. Basically, lie with a pencil. You say you did some stuff that you didn't do because its faster. Okay, so if you do, if you do and you miss Yes, misrepresent the documentation, and the pilot goes up and the reservoir is dry of oil. It could kill. Okay, if you, uh, and the other thing that you learn early on is there are consequences for telling the truth sometimes. For example, if you at the Naval Academy when you get asked the question, this is a book called Reef Points Points. It's basically the Bible of the Naval Academy it has got all kinds of stats in it. It's got every aircraft in the navy, every aircraft in the in the army, all the ships, all the designations. It's got naval history it's got world history in it. He's got all the insignias of all the different branches of the service it's just packed full off military facts. So the expectation is that you learn everything in that book, right? They expect you know everything in the book after you there for a week. So at some point time, you're not gonna know something. And when you don't know something then there are consequences and you've got to deal with. There are only four answers that you could give. And when I was there it was all male. It was Yes, sir. No, sir. No excuse, sir. And I'll find out, sir. So if you get asked a question and you don't know the answer, you only have two answers. No excuse, sir, or I'll find out, sir. You learned a very young age, to tell the truth, no matter what the consequences are. So that lesson resonates in something that  the learning, the military that I think is very, very fundamental and very, very important. There's another lesson that I learned and at the Naval Academy. There was a thing called gouge g-o-u-g-e. The gouge was information. The gouge was information that a classmate or friend of yours could give you to give you a leg up on something. Okay, so now at the Naval Academy, you could tell if you took a test, you could tell somebody that was getting ready to take that test. What was on it. That was okay. So that's the gouge. So getting the gauge is something that I learned and where I applied it to the civilian world was when I was at Proctor and Gamble and I was working in Cincinnati, Ohio. I made it a point to learn from the best of the best. So I sought out key leaders that we're leading in their field - the fastest tracking plant manager. I met with him. I met with the second African American plant manager in the entire company. I met with the president of the company at the time. A guy named Mr.  John Peppers. I met with all those individuals to get the gauge. I'm not gonna bump my head against the wall when somebody else can give me some information that will give me a leg up. So I think that's a mindset. And I think that's something that's very, very important. Even today. What I tell people all the time is when you wanna do something, whatever it is, you find somebody that's doing it excellently and you sit down and talk to them about Tell me how you did it. What are your thoughts and people will give you the gouge. But you gotta ask for it. And don't be intimidated by power title or anything like that. As long as you're doing what you need to do. All individuals like the help others. So if you ask anybody, if you ask anybody and said I want to learn from you, they will. They will tell you all kinds of stuff. Okay, so that's the third point. Is networking getting the gouge learning from the best of the best. And that's something that I learned at the Naval Academy. The third one I would say is take care of your people. Always take care of your people. In the military in the Marine Corps. When you go out to the field to eat or you go to battle or something like that, the officers, the higher ranking people always eat last. You let your people go first, and that is symbolic of taking care of your people. You make sure that they're fed, make sure they have the bullets, make sure they have the beings. You make sure they have everything that they need to be successful because ultimately they're really protecting you and everybody else, right? If you don't take care of them, they won't take care of you. If you take care of them, they'll take care of you. Now, how does it apply to the civilian world? It's applicable. Let's say that I am a supervisor in a plant that makes widgets. And the first scenario is I'm a bad boss from a terrible boss. I yell at my people, treat them like dirt. I always try to catch him doing something wrong, breathing down their neck, not giving him any accolades. That's the kind of boss that I am. So I give a direct order to a quality person, and the quality person knows that if they do what I said it's gonna make some bad product. And if that bad product goes out and the bad product comes back, then when it comes back and somebody says, Why was the quality made like that? The quality person is going to point at Carl and throw me right under the bus. Carl told me to do it right, because a person wants me to leave. They don't care. I'm not caring about them. So they're like caring about me. Same scenario. I'm a good boss. Treat my people will respect and love on them, find out what the needs are. I know their family members. I give the same direct order, except I probably do it in a nicer way. That quality person will do one of two things that quality person will either say, Carl you probably don't want to do that because of  X y Z, or even if they do it because they don't catch it and it comes back. It'll be our problem, as opposed to Carl's problem and throwing me under the bus. So those are the three points that I would say carry over from the military to the civilian world.  

Casey Sharperson:   36:35
Those are excellent and I do have to say with the whole with the networking piece and using your resources I think that I could also probably have you come back and just talk about career and you know how to level up in your career. But just really, you've emphasized to me the importance of asking for what you want and articulating what you need, what you want. So we were talking the other day about how could I wanted to attend a particular event. And you're like, "Well, why don't you just ask?" That's a good point. I was a little nervous task, but I got it and they said, "Oh, yeah, absolutely happy to have you." But I would have never gotten that opportunity if I was intimidated by who the person was or felt I wasn't worthy or anything like that. So I think your mindset of ask for what you want, articulate what you want and what you need and get the gouge a really key point for everyone listening too. So transitioning, we have a lot more to cover and I'm debating on where to go. I do want to want to have kind of brief discussion around the transition from Naval Academy to the Marine Corps and what it's like for you to become a pilot and how you were able to kind of make that transition and how you were able to endure and check that off your list as amazing accomplishments.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   38:09
Okay, well, at the Naval Academy your senior year, you have to determine what you're going to do. Some type of warfare specialty. So the choices are Navy or the Marine Corps. The Marine Corps is under the Navy and about when I was there, I think it was about 12% of the class could go into the Marine Corps something like that. So in the Navy, you could be a ship driver. You could be a nuclear-powered guy, be a civil engineer. There's a few slots for doctors. You could be in supply corps. So there's several things you could do there and you could be a pilot or an NFO and in the Marine Corps, you could be an infantry officer, Artillery officer, tank officer, pilot, NFO, naval flight officer. Those wants to sit in the back seat. Kind of do the navigation stuff so those are kind of the choices that you have. So when I was there after your junior year, you got exposed to the different branches, the Marine Corps, aviation and other parts of the Navy. So when I got exposed to aviation in Pensacola, which is where the flight school that I made up my mind there that I wanted to become a pilot. So I chose the Marine Corps, and then everybody Navy and Marine Corps go to Pensacola to train to become a pilot. So the way it works is there's about six weeks of ground school. And then there's several months of simulator training and you actually get in the aircraft and fly visually. Then you do instrument flying. Which means you fly at night or under the hood or something like that. So you know how to fly like that. Then you do some acrobatics. And when I was there, you did all that in a one engine two seater T 28 trainer, and then you transition to either helicopters, props (planes with propellers), or Jets, and I decided to go helicopters. So then I trained in a T 57 helicopter Bell Jet Ranger then I flew the Hughey, which was advanced. And then when I got stationed in North Carolina, actually flew CH 46 helicopter which carries about 30 troops. Now they tell you the first day of flight school, that the attrition rate when I was there, the attrition rate was 66% which means only one out of three are gonna graduate from the time to go to ground school, too. The time to get their wings. So because Coach Sparks had instilled in the quitters, never win. Winners never quit. I looked at the left. I look to the right and I said, y'all aren't gonna be here. But I'm gonna be here because Coach Sparks said quitters never win and winners never quit. So that was my mindset. So it prepared me. Okay, so it's tough to get into flight school. It's tough to graduate from flight school, but just like the Naval Academy, if you get in, everybody, I believe and everybody that gets into service in a service academy can graduate if they have the heart, the soul and the want to. So that was my mindset at the academy, that was my mindset with aviation. Now, what I found to be key was preparation. So one of the things we have to do before each flight at the flight school is you have to after practice your emergency procedures. 80% of flying is practicing  emergency procedures. What happens when something goes wrong? You could teach a monkey to fly, but it's what happens when something goes wrong. What happens when you have a high altitude engine failure? What happens when you lose or when you stall out? So it is always about that. So before each flight, you had anywhere from five to probably 25. It was more 5 to 25 things in one emergency procedure that you had to know cold. Envision the aircraft in the instructor says okay, you got a high altitude engine failure.  So you gotta know what to do. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right. So before you go out for each flight, the flight instructor is gonna ask you, give me your emergency procedure. If you don't know your emergency procedures. That's not good. So one of things that I had control over it was always knowing my emergency procedures cold. I used to, what I did was I bought these five by three by five index cards, and I write the emerging procedures on them. So let's say it was five steps. What I would do is I would write it out and then I would use the first letter. It wasn't an acronym, but it was the first letter. It's the first time the first letter of the first word is a C the first letter of the second word is an A and it would spell something I say. Listen to the emergency and I say I say that word going down the left and then I'd actually do it. So that's kind of what I did. I would run and practice those emergency procedures in my head so I could know them cold. because when they tell you, you've got to know them. That's kind of what kind of my transition and one of the things that flight school was, they have these things called downs. A down is when you go up and you don't master whatever that class is, so it could be not knowing your emergency procedure. It could be not being able to execute it. It could be getting lost. It's a lot of different things you could do. But after each flight, the flight instructor had to determine whether or not they were passing you on to the next one. So if they did not, then you got it down. And there's a certain number of downs that you can get, but getting a down, it's not good. So I went through flight school with never getting a down. This is somebody that never made an A in high school. Graduated from the Naval Academy on time and didn't have to go to summer school, which was my goal... my two goals. OK, went through flight school without a down. Okay, so I'm a firm believer that so much of what we do and accomplish it's primarily because of grit and not wanting to quit. Grit and not want to quit, having a tough mindset. Mental toughness and doing what say you gonna do never give up. Not paying attention to what people say. That's the other thing. That learned in Spotsylvania. It goes back to, it's not what you call me, it's what I answer to. So I developed a very thick skin. It's a tough line between loving people and being paranoid. You know, it's a fine line, but being able to have the mindset a positive mindset in the environment of negativity, when somebody's telling you that you can't do something or you're not good or whatever. Those are my thoughts.

Casey Sharperson:   45:54
Yeah, that's excellent. And I think it's a perfect transition from your military life. You went on to go on work at several Fortune 500 companies and will have to come back and do a whole career separate conversation on that. But you talked about the importance of grit and the importance of mindset. So another major shift in your career and in your life and also in our family came around 2010 or 2011. So walk us through that portion of your life. You mentioned that you've gotten sick earlier. So what happened? How did you apply those kinds of grit principles through that part of your journey?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   46:44
Okay. December 23rd, 2010. I went in for a routine colonoscopy came out of the session and the doctor said everything was good. No polyps, no nothing. So I went to Jacksonville, Florida, to spend time with my wife's family. And while I was there, my stomach started hurting. I couldn't lie on my stomach and back. I couldn't figure out what was going on. So came home, told the doctor that Doctor said, Okay, think is this. Let me give you these pills. A week later came back. Doc, nothing's better. Give me some more pills. Come back a week later. I said, doc, that's not working either. So the doctor finally says he says, Okay, I'm gonna do an X-ray of your stomach. So he did an x-ray of my stomach and I was at the office and I get a call from the doctor and the doctor says I see enlarged lymph nodes in your stomach, and I'm gonna refer you to an oncologist. That was the first time that I heard the C-word. The cancer word. When I heard the cancer word, I thought of three things. Number one. How long am I gonna be here? Number two, how much I've spent my time and number three, who am I going to spend my time with? Those were the three things that went through my mind. I didn't care about how much money I had, how much stuff I had. Those were the three, uh, items that popped into my mind. So I went to an oncologist, Dr. Palmer. I was getting treated at the V A. And Dr Palmer did a bunch of tests, blood tests, PET scans, CAT scans, bone biopsies. They did a lot of tests like that took probably about 3 or 4 weeks, seemed like it took 3 or 4 years, cause it seemed like it took forever, and I was continue to get sicker and sicker. So finally, the doctor diagnosed me with stage four non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, which is the type of cancer that had resonated in my stomach. By the time I was diagnosed, I looked like I was about six or seven months pregnant. Face sunken in, arms skinny, legs, skinny. I look like one of those starving kids from Africa. So that was the diagnosis. I did not tell my wife when the doctor called me and said that he was gonna refer me to an oncologist. I told her that I was going to see a specialist. I didn't tell her that it was, a cancer doctor. So she was continuously looking at me go down, and she didn't want to mention anything like that. So she kind of read me the riot act after I recovered. But during that time period and I was my mindset was I was protecting her. So anyway, the doctor prescribes some treatment. He prescribes six rounds of chemotherapy once every three weeks and, that was what he prescribed. He had 4 different chemotherapy drugs that were in the solution that I was fed intravenously. And it took probably 7 or 8 hours to sit in the chair and get fed intravenously with the chemotherapy. But during that time period, it was, a lot of time to reflect. A lot of time to be alone. And, there were several people in my family and people that I knew that came alongside me and kind of helped me through that. One was a lady named Diana who was a breast cancer survivor that lived up the street from us and she was a neighbor and she called me after I had my first chemotherapy to encourage me and told me about what she called her chemo walk while she was going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. She would walk every day. She walked a block or two blocks and she just kept walking. She was a marathoner before she was diagnosed, and she came walking and running and then got back to being a marathoner again. So she told me about that, and I got up from the first time in a long time and walked the neighborhood with a 14 year old neighbor. And I walked every day. I can kind of go back now during that time period. So this was between probably February, June, July time, period. So that spring, when I was walking, I could hear the birds chirping and I could smell the air. So even during that time period now, it kind of takes me back to that memory.  I did that. That was an example of a relationship and I had had with somebody and they kind of came alongside me. I had a classmate of mine named Stan, Stan sent me a book. There was a guy that was a year behind me that was a football player at the Naval Academy named Tommy Harper. Tommy Harper was a freshman on the varsity football team, and he had worked his way all the way up to the second-string tight end. And just before the Michigan game, we were getting ready to play Michigan, and the doctors told him that he couldn't go. Not only could he not go, but they would have to do emergency surgery, so he had been having some problems with summer - throwing up. He lost 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 30 pounds. He was diagnosed with testicular cancer as a 19-year-old, and he was given an 8% chance to live six months. But the doctors did not tell Tommy. They told his family. They told the coaches. They told everybody else, but they didn't tell Tommy. So Tommy's mindset was, I'm going to get back on the field. So that was his mindset. He's kept grinding it out, kept grinding it out. So, uh so I was reading that book as I was going through my cancer journey, so I'm thinking if Tommy can go through that 1973? What? Chemotherapy is basically a syringe that they know you put in your arm, and then the radiation is go to a dark dungeon and get zapped. If he can go through that, then I could go through what I'm going through. It kind of gave me hope.So that was an example of somebody that I knew who gave me the book that then I developed a relationship with. Okay, so it's all about relationships. There was another gentleman, Colonel Whitley, who was the commanding officer of the Air Force JR ROTC unit that both Casey and my son participated in in high school. And we were eating breakfast one day - my wife and I, we hear this noise outside. Look outside there were three people. One is on a tractor and to the other two were throwing straw. My wife looks a little closer. She sees Colonel Whitley along with his wife, Miss Ann and they were drawing the straw. So Colonel Whitley actually paid for lawn services for us for an entire year; because of the relationship that we had created. There's one other example that I'll give of relationships. During the same time period, it was like the perfect storm. I had burned through all my long term savings, my short term savings. And not only was I sick but I was broke too. I got to a point where I didn't know what I was gonna do. And the other thing idea while I was walking was I prayed. I prayed one of three verses. I prayed, either The Lord's Prayer, the Prayer of Jabez, or the 23rd Psalm. And I just pray over and over and over until the negative stuff that was in my head was replaced by positive. So, I sucked in my pride and contacted a guy named Kevin who is the president of my class at the Naval Academy. Kevin contacted a guy named  Keith and Keith was a company mate of mine and we were also in the Marine Corps together, and Keith put together and go fund me program before go fund me was in existence. My classmates and alumni supported me financially for an entire year because of the relationships that we had had. Now, a lot of those guys I had not seen in 30 years or 35 years. But they gave because of the brotherhood and the relationship that we had created. That was probably the toughest thing I've ever faced, but with, you know, big tests, big testimony.

Casey Sharperson:   56:25
So that that really I think, um, you know, shifted your perspective on work and on your story and, of course, the power of relationships. So any time you go through something, whether it's, you know, a cancer diagnosis or you lose a job or finances or any of that, you have a certain way that you can look at that and you can look at that is saying, you know, woe is me or you can say, Yeah, woe is me... but also, I'm not gonna stay here. And I think that was something that I witnessed. You kind of going on that journey because I was in college. So, you know, just knowing that you were gonna keep pressing through and to keep just looking forward because I think so. Often we go through things, we get stuck in our own head and in our own space. But you had an outward focus and you said, I'm going to beat this and I'm gonna be better on the other side of that. So that actually I think kind of revamped your business and change your mindset of even kind of the direction of Sharperson's Executive Leadership. 

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   57:38
Correct. Yeah. Like I said earlier, when you get to a point, because I always I was always healthy. I exercised, I ate right. I listened, I got stuff done. I was good with people. But when you get to a point where you're not strong enough, you're not smart enough, you don't have the money, you don't have enough resources when you get below the floor. There's just several things that people go through. I call them significant emotional events. A significant emotional event, is an event that will rock your world and you will never view life the same. Job loss is one. Divorce is another. Death of a loved one is another. Being very sick or sickness can be another one. There might be some others, but there are some key ones that when those happen you're not the same. If you lose your job or somebody's lost their job. They never look at the next job the same way. You know, people have had the same job for a long time. They just assume that they're going to be able to get up and get paid. But when you lose it, you got a plan A, plan B and Plan C. 

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   59:09
100% When I look at even people, I've had a very interesting career journey, as you know. So I have never looked at a job as like this is my end all be all. I'm gonna be here forever because my experience is different. But the people that I know that have had, like, very study, very predictable careers. That's just their reality. And they're like I could never imagine going through those things. So your experiences definitely shift how you view your current situation as well as your future. Final question here. Final series of questions. So we started out talking about legacy. So now that we've heard about kind of your upbringing, your military experience, your total shift when it came to your cancer diagnosis. When you hear the word legacy, what's your initial thought? What's your initial reaction? What do you think about the word legacy and what does it mean to you?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   1:0:17
Legacy to me means leaving something not only for your Children, to be able to almost, like step on your shoulders and get a leg up. But your grandchildren. So when you skip a generation and that really means that you know, you've done something, cause a lot of times you can you can make sure that your kids are successful. But if your kids don't impart that to their kids that you're gonna have a generation that's not gonna be doing what they need to do. So, I think that's important. For example, we're talking about this earlier today about, you know, at a certain age, if you're in your early on. When I was in my twenties and thirties and I was thinking about me, I was thinking about making money. I was thinking about career. I was thinking about dating... not getting married. I think about dating. Then, once I got married and started having kids. Then it shifted and it's shifted for me. Because once you bring somebody else in the world, then and then you got to subserve yourself to them because the only reason that they're in the world is because of you. At least, that's my mindset. Preparing your Children to be able to... for example - my definition of success was to rear healthy, happy Children that would love the Lord and be able to use their talents to be whatever they want to be and simplistically it's being able to give my child at age 18 a suitcase full of clothes. Drop them in New York City, and they'd be able to make it. That means they need to be able to know howto work. It means they need to know how to communicate. That means they need to have. I know how to, um, those solid relationships with people. That means they need to know how to find a place where they can worship. That means that they know how I need to know how to manage your money. It's all those skills that somebody needs, they need to be able to have those things when they turn 18. Because when they turn 18 and you send them into somebody's colleges and I don't care if the college costs $60,000 a year, $70,000 a year, wherever you send them. Sometimes it's like sending to the streets of New York City because you've got all those same elements out there you got people wanting stuff trying to pull him, take him down a rabbit trail, dark corner, all this other kind of stuff. So rearing your kids with the mindset that you want them to have those skills. It's so very, very important. So one of things that we tried to do was make sure that our kids had some extracurricular activities that they were doing. Perfect world, a team sport. One team sport, one individual sport, play an instrument. Learn to play an instrument that teaches discipline. Be able to study. Do well academically. Be able to know the Lord and know the word and be able to know the truth. Be able to manage their money. The other thing is being able to work. The good thing or the lesson, the biggest lesson that you get from working. Let's say you're 16 years old, 17 years old, whatever. And you work for somebody. You could be working at McDonald's. You could be working anywhere. It doesn't make any difference. But what it does and this is what it did for me at the age of 16. I mean, I didn't work because of these reasons. I worked because I wanted my own money. But in hindsight, what it taught me was.  Okay, I was a 16-year-old working in a restaurant with waitresses that were, like, 40 years old. And when I listen to the stories of these waitresses and what they were going through with their husbands and their Children and stuff like that, that's when I realized how blessed I was, right? And so with the other thing, it when you're working for somebody like that, then it's not gonna be fair. You know? They're gonna tell you stuff that's not right. So you're gonna learn to submit to authority and be able to deal with that, right? Uh, so that's an important lesson. That other thing is, if you make your money - own money and you use your own money then your parents gonna have to teach you about how to manage your money because you'll figure it out. If it's your money, you'll figure out how to manage, you know. But if you just got an account, that's just full of cash and all the child does is withdraw from it. Then what does that teach? All I got to do is show up, but he's gonna be in the bank. So those are some basic skills and talents that we tried to instill in our kids as they were growing up. The other thing was to expose them to something outside of where they are. We would always try to find some type of enrichment camp or something during the summer to expose them to. It could be an academic camp. It could be an athletic camp. It could be a military camp. But what that does is it lets the child know that there's a bigger world out there. And sometimes if you have a child that grows up in their school and then the smartest kid in the school, they grow up thinking ooo I got it made. But you expose them to a camp where there's a bunch of other smart kids like them. They get a whole different appreciation of what they got to do and what excellence is.

Casey Sharperson:   1:6:23
That's true. I will say I got my... when did I get my first account? I guess I was like, seven or maybe six. We got, like, a little kid's account. You know, I could write checks out of it, so any time those little like scholastic book little paper things. Hopefully, my listeners I'm talking about. But I would just, like, buy stuff out of it. And the one day I got my statement and I'm like where all my money go. And that's when I realized I need to put some more in there in order to have money. So it was at that moment I think I became Frugal Fran.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   1:6:58
Well, some people don't learn that. Don't learn a lesson until they're out in the workforce.

Casey Sharperson:   1:7:03
Look, the struggle is real. Because, you know, we didn't have an allowance. So I've always worked for my coins. You know what I'm saying?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   1:7:13
It's the gift of struggle, baby,  I gave you the gift of struggle.

Casey Sharperson:   1:7:16
Yeah. I don't know. I wish I could return the gift of struggle, but it is what it is. Okay, so I know that we could cover many more things. But I know that folks, you guys can reach out to my dad. He responds to his e mails and such. So you can go to www.CarlSharpersonJr.com and you can reach out to him that way. All his info is there. You can also buy his book on his website, as well as on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Tell me what's the main thing that you want to leave people with, whether it's something you know, a quote of yours or a quote that you live by or a guiding principle? What's the final take away that you want folks to walk away with today?

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   1:8:08
There were a lot of things, but one of the things that kind of, I think drive and teach people going is the mindset of quitters never win and winners never quit. Now there's a difference between quitting and proactively doing something different. For example, if you are working in an environment, and it's a toxic environment, and you tried to be like the coffee bean and change the environment. Unlike the carrot that softens up in hot boiling water or the egg that hardens up in boiling water, you want to be the coffee bean changes the environment. If you have not been able to change the environment. Okay, and it's affecting you, health-wise or family-wise or some combination and you leave, that's not quitting. But it's a fine line between the two. For example, when my Dad decided to move us from Washington D. C. to Spotsylvania, If I have a choice, I probably would not have done that. If I could have opted out, I probably would have opted out. And if I opted out, I never would have learned valuable lessons. So the trick is - Do you stay in adversity? It's a choice, you stay in adversity Or did you get out of adversity. Most of the time the adversity hits and you don't have a choice. But my experience has been, if you look at the, bios or the history of individuals that have achieved extraordinary achievements we're talking in sports. We're talking in business. We're talking in education. We're talking to the athletics. If you go back and listen to their stories, normally is a lot of struggle in there - a lot of adversity, and they've come through some stuff. So giving your kids, the gift of adversity or the ability to suffer well is a powerful gift. Because you can create adversity in a safe environment. When your child participates in a sport and they're not playing and it's sitting on the bitch, that's adversity. That's a teaching point. Okay, What do you got to do, son? Gotta get better. Practice, practice, practice. I'll give a quick example. My son was working at a clothing store. He was 17 years old and he just had a gift. He was the number one salesperson in the store after three weeks. After three months, he was the number one sales person in the district. He jived with his boss. They saw each other. Then after working here for about a year, the boss changed. The boss changed and was butting heads with my son. So he calls me one night and says "Dad, John won't let us go home. "I said let me speak to John. I talked to John the phone and he says "We'll let him go in a little while." So as my son left, this was in a mall, the gate came down behind him and his boss said, "You're fired and you don't have to come back. Your check will be in the mail in a week." Right now. That's adversity. So, what was the learning there? Okay, son, life's not fair. What you gonna do? Where are you gonna work now? Now, he was fired due to no fault of his own. Which is the way life is sometimes. So, what are you going to learn from that? You're gonna pick yourself up and go find another job someplace else. So that's an example of adversity in a safe environment. So anytime there's adversity, the teacher doesn't treat me right or anything like that, it was always a teaching moment and allowing that adversity to be there and not shelter and enable a lot of struggle to be there so you can see it give the teaching points. That would be my final thought.

Casey Sharperson:   1:12:42
Excellent. Well, thank you. all these stories and more are in the book. Sharp Leadership: Overcome Adversity To Lead With Authenticity. So you all can grab those again on his website www.CarlSharpersonJr.Com. The link will be in the description as well as on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I hope that you all grab the book, read the book, and let us know your thoughts on this episode. Make sure that you're following me as well. All of my info is in the description and so you can search for me everywhere online it's Casey Sharperson. So thank you so much, Dad, for joining me on this podcast. You're my first male guest, so welcome. You have broken the glass ceiling, so I'm sure people are excited about that.

Carl Sharperson, Jr.:   1:13:34
I am honored to be another first,

Casey Sharperson:   1:13:37
right? Well, thanks, everyone for listening. Thanks, Dad, And have a great rest of your day. All right. Thank you.