Heal Within

Season 14 - Episode 19: The Power of Emotional Intelligence Masterclass and Healing Meditation

• Evette Rose • Season 14 • Episode 32

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Discover the transformative power of emotional intelligence with our insightful guest, Evette Rose, as we transcend traditional conceptions of IQ to embrace the nuanced world of EQ. Join us for a profound journey into recognizing and managing both our own and others' emotions, where Yvette's expertise shines a light on the impact of past traumas and the biological instincts that shape our responses. Our discussion peels back the layers on how these factors influence our daily interactions, decision-making, and overall well-being, offering a roadmap to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

As we traverse the complexities of human emotion, Yvette Rose guides us through the subtle art of understanding the emotional drivers behind others' actions. She uncovers the connections between aggression and the quest for safety, procrastination and self-sabotage, and the indispensable role of emotional intelligence in nurturing personal and professional relationships. We learn together how emotional intelligence can bridge communication gaps, foster empathy, and ultimately transform our interactions with compassion and understanding, regardless of gender or background.

In our final chapter, Yvette takes us on an exploratory mission into the body's intuitive wisdom, highlighting how emotional well-being is deeply intertwined with our physical state. We uncover healing practices for trauma stored within our bodies, learn about the incredible adaptability of the human brain through neuroplasticity, and discuss the importance of confronting ancestral wounds. As we close this session, we hope you've found valuable strategies to overcome emotional blocks and are inspired to integrate the principles of emotional intelligence into every facet of your life.


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Speaker 1:

Welcome here, yvette Rose. Thank you so much for joining me. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Yvette and I also wrote this book, 670 Medical Elements. I'm also the founder of Metaphysical Anatomy Technique.

Speaker 1:

I love to dive into the psychosomatics of people's behavioral patterns and why certain things happen the way that they do. But why is it also the same for every single person on this planet? Because our blueprint is the same, and so, when we look at this really cool topic of emotional intelligence, this is yet just another awesome confirmation how we think and we can behave the same, how we can have certain values that are the same, how we can see the world, perhaps from quite similar perspectives, but then again, of course, just how we interpret that through perhaps wounded experiences, or perhaps you know, of coming from a place of avoidance, whatever it is that our coping strategies are. That kind of like sets us apart. Now, emotional intelligence is a really, really cool topic and a lot of you guys have asked me to talk about it and I'm like, why not? Let's just actually turn it to a little master class. This is a way of life. I call it a way of life. That's tremendously big, important. It plays such a big role for us because, when we look at it from just a big explanation, just a broader perspective, I would call this like the ability to identify and to understand your own emotions Now, to a certain degree, someone else's as well but of course they're not from the perspective of like being a psychic or getting everything right or being able to do like an intuitive body read on them.

Speaker 1:

That's not really what I'm talking about. What I am referring to is to have perhaps a certain level of patience, a certain level of a way of interpreting how someone else behaves, other than other than just that initial reaction that you are perhaps met by. Maybe it can be like bomb fire, a lot of anger, maybe it's rejection, maybe there's someone else taking place, but it's more about what goes on behind someone's initial reaction. Now also, just to kind of like even start here right off the bat, before I go even too deep into this, because I love to just kind of like it's like Alice in Wonderland, we just dive into it and we just go and just see where these holes and tunnels take us and just have fun with it I just want to kind of like make a distinction here, that there is a difference between emotional intelligence and also actually having a higher level of IQ or a low level IQ.

Speaker 1:

Now it is said that people cannot actually necessarily increase their IQ. However, you can improve and increase your emotional intelligence. Interesting, now, I personally would never put this down to as being a fact. Not the emotional intelligence part, but much more so the IQ part, because the brain is amazing, how the brain can rewire itself through neuroplasticity. Neurogenesis is kind of like opening up a whole new world for us to see things differently, to interpret things differently.

Speaker 1:

And I've also come to learn and understand and see that as people shift trauma, not only does their emotional intelligence improve and peak, their ability to grasp information intellectually also starts to improve. Example let's say you're bad at math, you're bad at certain things in your life because maybe you were abused while you were learning. Now there's trauma associated with learning, there's trauma associated with processing and interpreting information that is now being presented to you, perhaps in a learning format or in a verbal explanatory format. But if you shift and release that trauma and now you don't have that trauma associated with maths or with learning or whatever it is that you had it associated with, don't you think things will start to flow a little bit more, grasping things faster, enjoying perhaps something that you maybe used to hate, because your approach to something, your awareness around the information that you are bringing in or that you are receiving, consciously or subconsciously the platform, on our attitude at least. Let me put it like this I would say that your attitude builds the platform on which this information is received, on that, your foundation. And the clearer and stronger this platform is, of course, the easier it's going to be to shift and move and navigate through this information and allowing ourselves to emotionally and intellectually digest it with ease and with grace, whereas if this emotional tension, when there is stress, now we have emotional friction and of course, the moment when there's emotional friction, what happens?

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, no, no, no. Back, back, back, back, back, back back. We avoid, we don't like it, we don't like discomfort. We're biologically designed to avoid forms of discomfort, whether it's emotional or physical. We love the path of least resistance and if that means shutting down certain aspects of your intellect and your ability and your capacity to understand certain pieces of information, then so be it. And this is a pure biological response. It's not like you're consciously cognitive sitting there thinking okay, I'm going to be as dumb as I possibly can be today because I don't feel like emotionally feeling. We don't do that. So I just wanted to kind of like touch a little bit on that, because it's such an interesting topic.

Speaker 1:

When we look at the relationship of intelligence emotional intelligence, cognitive intelligence it's also now being widely said, while we're on this topic, it's now being also widely said that, in regards to emotional intelligence, we have I mean, this is probably not even a fact, but at least let's just say for the sake of this conversation that we have about, say, four, five hundred emotional experiences per day. Now, of course, a lot of these experiences are perhaps conscious and some of them will be subconscious. And our willingness to acknowledge the existence of these emotions right, the extent to which we can embrace these emotions without challenging our happiness or our quality of life in a negative way. It sets forward the level of intelligence to which we can receive this emotion and still stay stable and balanced within our sense of self. Because the moment when emotion starts to come in and we lose balance, we have that knee jerk reaction. Now we are in a state of emotional unresourcefulness. So now we're moving away from emotional intelligence Now.

Speaker 1:

It's also in my opinion now that if emotional intelligence increases, so does, of course, your awareness, but your emotional maturity and also your ability and capacity to handle yourself, your actions and your reactions in life will also start to grow and become stronger and improve Well, at least in most cases. I know there's people who go to their deathbeds and they're still that little, inner five year old little boy or girl. Now, when we look at it from this perspective, and during the course of this workshop as well, it depends how we react to these actions or reactions. It also depends whether it's going to be constructive or destructive now, because nothing good comes from a destructive reaction. You know that, I didn't have to tell you that. So emotional intelligence in this case is a wonderful harmonious balance between the emotional brain and then the rational brain, and you know how you sometimes have your, you know, like that person in your life right, that they just, they're just very irrational, they just like very reactive. That is a really great example of someone who have these knee jerk reactions, who tend to, for example, now be the victim of their own behavior and their emotions, and that is also a great example of someone that lacks emotional awareness in relationship to themselves, and they are also now, of course, learning the journey to still consciously navigate their way through these fast emotional interactions and reactions.

Speaker 1:

And, at the end of the day, when you look at emotions, it is something that can either help you to progress in your life or it can also be something that can actually hold you back, and it is also something that can tremendously sabotage your health, your relationships, your career and, of course, your relationship with yourself. Now, I always call emotions being the GPS of our lives, and the better that we can understand and read these GPS signals right these directions, the better you can start to navigate your way through your own life, the better of a driver you become in your life. That's what people sometimes refer to like being the driver seat. It's time to get back in the driving seat, get out of the passenger seat. So lack of emotional intelligence would be sitting in the passenger seat. It's time to get back into the driver seat, and when you can control your emotions, like you can control that steering wheel, the more you are now walking and growing into the path of emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1:

And a lot of people also actually say that your emotions just fire off and you can control your emotions Now. Yes, emotions fire off. They show up in our lives all the time, consciously and subconsciously. However, it is what you can control, right, that is what you can control, and that is emotions. Yes, you're going to react, but you can control that moment right, that moment when the emotion fires off. So, when it fires off and you feel that wave of feelings and sensations, there's that split second where there's a very big space between that moment and the outcome that you are about to create, and it is that split second where you can drastically improve your circumstances, or it can be quite an explosive, destructive situation as well, because when you look at the brain and how it, for example, now stores information, how it stores experiences, it's not just about memories, but it's also memories of certain feelings that you feel. And then, of course, what is now added to that is the value that we bring to these emotions. How much do we care about these emotions that we feel? Now, of course, it depends what these emotions are tied into, what they are connected to and what they represent for you, in your circumstances, when you react to that.

Speaker 1:

Now, emotions is a tool that we use to create a bridge between us and the world. It's a bridge between us and other people. Now, that is also when we meet people halfway. That is how we reach out to people and connect to them. And something also very tremendously important that I've also now come to learn in my life is that every emotion has an intention behind it. Every emotion has a driving force that is propelling that sensation forward. Whether it's a memory, whether it's an intention, there's always an underlying energetic driver that is now fueling this emotional reaction that you are having Now.

Speaker 1:

In most cases, this reaction can now also be due to, maybe, wounds. It can be because of, perhaps all memories that's now coming up. That does not necessarily have to be bad. These emotions can also come up as a way of perhaps helping you to relate to someone, or perhaps with the intention now that's, to form a bond, to form a relationship. But now, of course, the value of emotions right, the value that it carries. It also serves as a foundation on which we read and analyze feelings and reactions of other people and how they are showing up and how they are reacting to their own behavior.

Speaker 1:

Now, one thing that I have also learned as well in my research is that people who act impulsively right, they tend to have such a tremendously big buildup of adrenaline, this cortisol, and the nervous system is just really stuck that the amygdala, which is now our panic button, that is our inner foyer, all that now just shuts so loud that it almost bypasses the hippocampus and is now just a pure reaction. And in most cases that reaction is not positive, it's a negative reaction. Now, a great example, for example, now could just be, let's say, anger, frustration, shouting, right. It is when we are not able to control our how can I say? It's like not controlling our that emotional foundation that we have, that we tend to be unaware of. And now remember, when we have that absence of awareness met with the amygdala, meaning that reactive little part of the brain, that little foyer all within us that is tremendously fear-based. This is where life now can get tremendously uncomfortable.

Speaker 1:

And one of the most important steps here that we can take in relationship to building emotional intelligence and that is to be able to identify how you feel, and what I mean by saying identifying how you feel. It means that you need to now embrace the frustrating part of you. Now, what I might be doing is here that I'm asking you to do something that you've learned your entire life to successfully avoid, and that is to feel and it could also now be, perhaps, that maybe you have certain subconscious strong coping mechanisms, such as numbness, disassociating, freeze responses, which now keep in mind this is what I call an MAT as instinctive responses we shut down and our emotional capacity now to emotionally be aware of how we feel decreases. Now we are very good at bypassing our emotions, right? I mean, I don't even have to tell you that, I'm sure you know that. I mean, it's the same with me.

Speaker 1:

I have my moments too, and when we look at now yeah, let's go in that direction when we look at, for example, like diving into procrastination or self-sabotage, that's a great example where we're now feeling emotionally unresourceful. Now we they're not necessarily choose, but there's a part of us that has now hit that switch and the awareness that we used to have on the situation in the matters feel very comfortable. We switch that off Because we're starting to move into a place where we feel unresourceful, and we hate feeling unresourceful. So what do we do? Bom freeze, just stop, because when and I brought this up because at the end of this talk we're gonna actually be doing really fun exercises that can tremendously already also help you to start to understand and improve your emotional awareness and your connection as well, because normally in most cases, what you will do is, when you have an emotion, it's just to name it and then to explore how you feel about this emotion.

Speaker 1:

And when you do this, it means now that we're actually bringing our full awareness to an emotion that we normally would have suppressed, and now we're actually just allowing this emotion to be present, to just be where it needs to be right now, where it can be acknowledged. Now. A great example of this, for example, is when we're looking at someone else who might be feeling reacting in a very volatile manner or in a very frustrating manner, and it's perhaps very upsetting for you to see this. It's upsetting, it would be for me as well. But I've now come to learn that in most cases, when people react aggressively and that the person who's on the receiving end is, 99.9% of the time, actually not part of the problem they just happen to be at the receiving end of someone else's built-up anger and that person felt a tick responsibility for how they let their anger out.

Speaker 1:

Now, having said that and also learning now that these people that let their anger out onto other people, it actually means that they feel safe with that person. But then again, that is not an excuse, Because, as you know, if you continue to just hold the space for someone who's now always angry, it can actually also now enable them and this now puts you into a cycle of becoming the peacekeeper, again and again, and again, and then ultimately, guys, there's nowhere up from there Now we're sinking, and the next step is victim mode. So there is a cycle now that can be broken here through emotional intelligence, through emotional awareness, and a lot can also be achieved by just understanding. But just by understanding, perhaps, how someone acts and how they react doesn't make their behavior, of course, okay, especially if it was abusive or unfair or inappropriate. It doesn't justify that. But by understanding, perhaps, why someone acted the way that they did already brings tremendous clarity, and it's now through that clarity that a lot of people find their sense of balance. They find their sense of confidence and their sense of self again by not allowing that person to emotionally harm them or upset them.

Speaker 1:

Now what's also interesting is when we look at emotional intelligence and when we look at IQ, I've seen in research that most people who are tremendously successful in their life are people who are very tuned into their emotional intelligence. And actually that makes perfect sense, because the more emotionally aware you are and the more aware you are of someone else's emotions and then embracing the ability and perhaps to read a little bit more in between the lines, in relationship to where this interaction is heading to, what is this other person emotionally trying to say? Maybe, how is it that they're trying to feel? Because it's through emotional intelligence and emotional awareness that we effortlessly learn the art of communication right, emotional communication and a gentle and a very calm way, and then, of course, learning the art of also listening as well, can make the difference between a successful business deal and a collapsed contract. Because emotions actually help us to relate to people, right, it helps us to connect, and the best business deals take place because there's a connection and that connection is formed because two people are now relating in one way or another with each other through emotion.

Speaker 1:

Now, another wonderful aspect of emotional intelligence is, if you look at now, relationships, and there's conflict between genders Now, for example, between male and female, by purely just understanding and knowing that men and women are just biologically wired differently. Women thrive in bonding and men thrive, of course, on bonding as well, but much more in their masculine, much more in their place of leadership being there, leadership being the alpha, rather than being compassionate caretakers. Of course they have that capacity, but the predominant actions and reactions in them will overpower that, because there's a biological program to be a leader, to take action, to make decisions. So of course the biology and the neurology is completely wired very different and this is now also going to cause certain different behavioral patterns. And now, just based on that, it is already obvious that men and women will emotionally act and react very differently.

Speaker 1:

And the more that there is conscious emotional awareness and understanding of this, the less arguments they actually will be having, because there will be a higher tolerance for each other, because everything will not necessarily be taken so personally, things will be understood and emotionally digested from a very different perspective, from higher levels of perspective, and instead of looking at it from, maybe, a perspective of I'm a victim, this person hurt me. So you see, emotional intelligence can completely help you to turn around and see circumstances, to see people from a completely different perspective, and maybe even that there's someone that is really wounded and just to see, perhaps, that wound, to maybe just see that this person is tremendously exhausted, that already can help a person to have just that little bit of understanding, that little bit of compassion, because to know and understand it in that moment that, in whatever way it is that this person is reacting, it's not about you. And when you realize that it's not about you, your sense of defensiveness boom, lowers and that means your state of reactiveness lowers and your tolerance increases. Now just some fun ideas that I wanna throw here at you and just to sit with. It doesn't necessarily have to mean that the person is completely emotionally, intellectually, not connected, but this is really fun, good ways where we can now connect to and see perhaps where people can improve their emotional awareness, because one form, for example, would be it's just to treat people really badly and this is now showing, for example, not caring enough, how someone else is feeling, being really forgetful in relationship to how someone might be having a birthday or a celebration, and then, brah, someone else just jumps right in there and say I have a problem, blah, blah, blah, completely overriding, just acknowledging what someone else is going through in that moment. That's important to them. Instead, the other person might prioritize what is important to them.

Speaker 1:

So also, for example, when you have people that's now saying giving people the ultimatum of like it's my way or it's the highway, where's the compromise in that? Where is perhaps the pause right? Just that pause to understand and think. Maybe they can do things the way that I would do it. Maybe they don't have the mental or intellectual setup to grasp concepts from your perspective. And by them failing you, by not following your instructions, doesn't mean necessarily that there's a direct disrespect. They can generally be just an incompatibility, an intellectual incompatibility.

Speaker 1:

And this is where emotional awareness is fantastic, because it helps people to take that step back, to go okay. Maybe you didn't understand. Maybe the fact that you didn't do it the way that I asked you to do it is not because you disrespected me. Maybe it's because there's truly a misalignment and some people do an act misaligned based on certain expectations, but they don't even realize that because from their perspective, they think that they're doing everything right, because their intention is to do everything right. There's no ill intended actions or reactions. Now you see how just understanding that raises your vibration to compassion, understanding and, most importantly of all, patience, patience, patience, patience and then going back, perhaps establishing what went wrong or what, not even what went wrong.

Speaker 1:

Where was the misalignment? How can we correct it? How can we now work towards finding a collective solution? How can we meet each other halfway? And of course, they're looking at it from the perspective of how can we meet each other halfway. Of course they're looking at it from the perspective of brainstorming and finding a solution, not what is wrong, what is wrong. What is wrong? How can we improve this? Where can we meet each other halfway? Where was the, perhaps the misunderstanding? So these are all just quick, fun examples in relationship to how a person can perhaps fail to show up emotionally intelligent in a moment of, maybe a crisis. Maybe there was a mistake, maybe there was some misunderstanding. Whatever it is, it's how we show up in that moment that is going to make the outcome constructive or destructive.

Speaker 1:

Now, guys, also just remember, I have my intuitive body workshop coming up and also MIT level one. Now, the intuitive body workshop is an awesome introduction to MIT level one, so it's for two days, and also we will be doing this very, very soon online and I'll be going live again very, very soon, and you also get 25% discount of MIT level one just here on this workshop, so I do hope that you take advantage of that. And, guys, now also, what I would love for you to do is, if you have a pen and paper with you, or if you have your computer, or even your phone if you could just listen to me, that's perfect, but I would love to talk you through an exercise right now where we're going to be diving into your emotional intelligence. I'm excited, so I'm just gonna give you a few seconds quickly just to find something that you can write on, or just a phone is perfect as well. Right Now, let's just go with wherever it is that you are emotionally finding yourself right now.

Speaker 1:

I would love for you to shift your full focus and awareness to the most negative emotion that you might be aware of right now. Now, it doesn't have to be an emotion that's through the roof, just an emotion that's uncomfortable, something that would, of course, be the opposite of happiness or joy. I would like for you just to sit with that for a few seconds and just find one, but name it. Name the emotion. What emotion is it? Now, the funny part here is, a lot of people will say I feel frustrated because now they come up with a story. Be mindful that your answer is one or two words.

Speaker 1:

Emotions are not stories. Emotion is a sensation, is bomb. You know that. You feel it. You either angry, you either feel powerless. You either feel frustrated, irritated, out of control, unsafe, stuck, whatever it is, unworthy it can be anything. The emotion is the absence of the story. So I invite you to feel into that now and just kind of like name it. What is it? What is it for you? And once you have that emotion, whatever the answer is, how do you feel about this emotion? How do you feel about it Meaning? How does that emotion make you feel? You might say the answer might be the exact same emotion that you felt prior, or it can be that a new emotion comes up. How do you feel about this emotion? Remember, note, no story. It's an emotional response.

Speaker 1:

Now, once you have that answer the answer to this question that I just asked you I'm not saying it is, but it could very well be your emotional attitude towards your life experiences, which means this emotion from your last answer could actually be blocking you from improving and training your emotional intelligence levels. Think about it. So, now that we at least have these emotions or emotion, it doesn't matter which one it is, as long as you just have one that you can identify with the most right now. Now I have to ask you what do you think caused it? What do you think caused this emotion? Now, take note here very carefully. The answer, or your immediate go-to place, was oh, this is because of my mom, because of my dad, because of that circumstance, because of what that person did to me.

Speaker 1:

Now we're in blaming mode, and that means there was now a bypass to seeing, perhaps, the circumstances from a different perspective, seeing perhaps from the other person's perspective. Maybe something happened there that day, maybe it's because they couldn't show up in a better way, maybe something else influenced a dynamic, maybe there was a third party that influenced circumstances, Maybe there was a part of you that did not or could not show up in a better or different way, because maybe you didn't have the resources, maybe you didn't have the opportunity. You see, the point of this exercise was to show you where did your initial thought go to. Was it blame? Was it trying to understand the circumstances from perhaps several different perspectives? Which mode did you go into when you just answered this question, because your answer here will very clearly tell you where you are at in your life at the moment in relationship to that old problem and how that old problem continues to influence your emotional freedom and quality of life. So, guys, there you have it.

Speaker 1:

I hope that you enjoyed this exercise. I hope that it helped you to build awareness, clarity and also just to kind of like feel and see and think from things from a completely different perspective, and the intention was for it to help you to start to see and feel where am I in relationship to my current identity and where am I in relationship to my past, and how much does your past still influence you? Because it's time to call your power back, and the way to do that is to release the trauma and stress associated with certain perceived blocks that you have. And it's time to put the past to rest once and for all, be done with it and claim your happiness, claim your inner peace, claim your inner stability. And, guys, like I said, you're welcome.

Speaker 1:

Come join this intuitive body workshop. We're going to learn so much about the body resilience, emotions, neuroplasticity, trauma, how we can shift it in the body, how to give the body a voice and how to read the body like a book and then leading into, of course, mit level one, where we dive deep into releasing ancestral trauma blocks you know, childhood wounds wherever it is that you feel stuck in your life. Thank you so much for being here with me today and I hope that this was valuable. I hope that you got a lot out of this and, of course, we will always love to hear from you. You can email us, you can message us and until next time, be the life that you are Bye everyone.