Brat Pack Life: Fluff That Little Hog, Strut Your Stuff, and Make No Apologies

In this episode of "Not Well," Bobby and Jim dive into the unexpected announcement of President Biden stepping down, sparking a chaotic and humorous discussion about the political landscape. They express shock at the news, joke about Kamala Harris possibly becoming the next president, and comment on the absurdities of the political world, including Biden's physical struggles and Kamala's public persona. The hosts speculate on the implications of Harris's potential presidency, highlighting her public image and the comedic elements of her speeches.

They also share personal anecdotes, including a recent wild weekend involving pool parties, bars, and meeting podcast listeners. The conversation shifts to their upcoming camping trip, where they discuss their insecurities, especially around body image and perceptions among their friends. The episode is peppered with lighthearted banter about their daily routines, such as the annoyance of morning rituals and the hilarity of public bathroom etiquette.

Bobby and Jim also express their growing disinterest in straight spaces and the mundane nature of straight social events, preferring instead the freedom and excitement of gay gatherings. They end the episode with a humorous reflection on their shared experiences and a lighthearted sign-off.

Transcript

And by the way, Kamala will not be your first female president. She will not be your first female president. It's not the way it's supposed to be. We're not supposed to have a socialist. Look, we're not going to be a socialist nation. We're not going to have a socialist president, especially a female. Especially a female. Especially a female. Socialist president, we're not going to have it. We're not going to put up with it. It's not going to happen. Go connect, go connect, go connect, go connect, go connect, go connect, connect, connect. Everything is in context. My mother used to. She would give us a hard time sometimes if she would say to us, you think you just fell out of a coconut. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Not Well, I'm Bobby. I'm Jim. Breaking news and announcement from our president of the United States. My fellow Americans. I want to take a moment to address some of the hateful shit you've been talking about me. Many of you have said I am suffering from brain worms or that I have apple sauce for brains. Well, I won't miss words so here it is. Fuck you. You're all a bunch of faggots. End of quote. Repeat the line. End of quote. President Cackles or President Booty Juice, I really don't give two fucks anymore. Biden out. So. That was harsh. We had an announcement. We've had a big announcement. We've had a change in the winds. And honestly, like I had just woken up, so it was great. Like I came down. I was like 2pm. Don't worry, honey. We're going to get into it. We'll explain why, but I'm laying on the couch. It's like 2pm on a Sunday and I'm like, nothing's happening today. Thank God I can just rest. You literally like you're like, hey, I'm alive. And then you're like, oh my God, Biden's out. And I'm like, what? Like that quick. Immediately I was like, oh fuck. And it was just so unexpected. It was but not really. I was wondering when but like for so long. I feel really. And then when he got COVID it was like, so he's dead. Like he's dead. Because he had to disappear for like five days. People are saying he's like at a hospital right now. Did he already make an announcement though? Like in live? Has he spin since he made the announcement? No, he said he's going to talk to the Americans later in the week. Yeah. Tuesday. Supposedly there was some like a medical where they had to like get him to some. Well, I just saw him trying to get in the fucking like SUV from the White House and they had to like push him in. It's like he can't even get in a car. And then him walking up the stairs on the Air Force One. I'm like, oh no. And that's actually really kind of like let's talk talk the stairs. It's like, first of all, you're going to fall back. That's the one reason why I would be president. I I be president. I don't want to to down those stairs every time you're in a place and like have to be like, yeah, no bitch. I'm going to fall down. It's like, I ain't doing that. All All Everyone's looking at you. Yep. All times. Literally. I wonder like the people who do this or they just narcissists kind of because they like love it. Yeah. That's their thing. Being a politician, you're like, I got to get my face out there, my name out there and shake hands and all. It's like, why? Why you're really not that important? Like you're ugly. Literally nobody's important. It's all about how you can funnel the corporation money through. How do you keep the businesses going? And And why we're going to to a new president elect Kamala Mamala because they got to keep the money in the. Yeah, it's exactly. It literally is because they they're like, well, how do we access the Biden Harris campaign fund? She's going to to Harris because she's already on the account. We did it. We did it. Joe, I love good news. Love good news. I just love good news. Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking. I have to. I'm speaking. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? I'm in round. Hi everybody. Okay, hold on. Looking for Jose Wakanda forever paid for by Kamala Harris. Best rapper alive to pop. I love Venn diagrams. I really do. I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles. Who doesn't love a yellow school bus? Love Gen Z. I love Gen Z. I love Gen Z. I love Gen Z. I have to tell you I'd love Gen Z. Yes. How can I say something though that's I'm kind of like kind of pissed off. And here's why I'm not pissed off. I'm actually happy about the Biden thing. I actually have some inspiration and hope. But I don't understand how the fact that now all of a sudden she just becomes the elect. I know it is like do we not have a choice in this? Like can we not just wait for the convention and kind of like it's in a few weeks, but like can we just have them? Can we have a quick vote there? Like what if there's other people that like I don't want to to to Right. And that's kind of where I'm sort of like this is weird to me because it's like we didn't get any choice in this. I feel like well first of all he didn't even try. He should never have done this in the beginning. There should have been an actual primary in every state. It is just like oh this is it. Okay. And we're really latching on like Charlie XCX. Yeah, she's a brat. Said she's a brat. It's brat summer. Kamala did the Kamala HQ and her Twitter page with the green. You didn't see that. Go to her Twitter. This This bitch. Go Kamala HQ. There are so many clips of Kamala saying things that make no sense. But here's my thing. Is Is why she hid for four years so that she wouldn't do anything stupid so people would actually like not know really if we should vote for her or not? Yeah. Okay. Kamala is a brat. What the fuck is this? So basically this said and here's the part that was cool. It was saying this is the oldest non-native folk music style still sung in the United States. Like going way, way, way back. We're talking 16. So like Christian him like 17 hundreds. So yeah, that's America. Well, we're back to the pilgrims in India. Well, and that's inappropriate anymore. What do they say now for what the pilgrims in the indigenous folk pilgrims of the indigenous. Does that what they say now to the kids like, oh, we just play like, oh, the pilgrims in the Native Americans. Okay. I was just asking who we call them Indians. I know. That's inappropriate. I don't care anymore. Honestly, I know actually some of them do take that name and they're just like faggot. They're like, yeah, we're Indian. I'm an Indian. I'm an Indian bitch. I mean, it's used federally like in a lot of the tree still and the legislation. It's still talks. They didn't get woke on the treaties. The American Indian and it's like, well, well, is it now? Where's India? So what are your thoughts on Kamala? That's my question. Kamala Kamala. Kamala, I feel like she's just a younger, more woman-y, blacker version of Biden. I think they're the exact same in policy. So it's like the same thing. Yeah, kind of. I don't know if they're the exact same and I don't know if she was just going along with him because he was old and white. Hopefully. Wouldn't that be a surprise? A A male. So she's like, I guess I got to listen. Now imagine the ticket. A black female and a gay man. I get his here like all the clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. Let me tell you, okay. It's going to be so fucking gay. But also, can I make a comment? This is going to be controversial, but I also think that Kamala might be lesbian and that's fine. She gives that vibe. She gives that vibe. She She She She Black woman sorority. Yeah, like she gives lesbian vibe and that's okay. She really does. It's that. Or like she serves as lesbians on the weekend and that's fine. But like a power lesbian for sure. Yeah, oh for sure. She's a powerful power. power. no way Doug's tapping him. Doug's not tapping that. Doug, fucking Doug. Anyway, I don't know. Okay, well good. Maybe before we come for Kamala, I should come for you in this broken piece of equipment over here. Now it's not broken. I just got to figure it out. I got to start turning it on off. I got to actually stay in this room for more than just recording and try to like get it cleaned up and get it back into order. You could have a life in here. Why do we could? Well, we could get like a UV light over there. You could grow your weed plants. We got to talk about camping coming up. Oh yeah. So overall we're like, okay, Biden's out like. Yeah, we're good. There's a lot of people who are like he should retire now. Okay. But that's the other thing. It's like he never, I mean, he's still doing whatever he's doing. I mean, let's get honest. He's just a puppet anyway. And And president is pretty much anyway. Oh yeah. Now that we know like he can't speak, he can't move or walk like shit's been all along. Someone else has been running the show and I don't think it's Kamala. Do you like I don't think she I think it's Pete. Oh, I think Pete's back there going listen, bitch. He's pushing buttons. There was a video of Pete remote control. Oh, he to me. He's the only person I trust. Where was Pete on the night of the debate? That's what I'm wondering. Like maybe Pete was sick. Maybe Pete couldn't control the remote. Yeah, he couldn't get the remote going or there was like malfunctioning. He's like, Oh God, it's not working. The The The low. Can you imagine we find out he's if if like an AI. I wouldn't be surprised. He says things that are so out there. They're like AI generated. I mean, he is pretty stupid. He'll He'll telling a story about so back in the 70s. Well, and he's like back when you were like 40 or 50 in the 70s. Yeah, like wait, he was like a lunch pail. He's like very lunch pail. We grabbed our lunches and we went to the fields. And it's like, why did you run again? Because you want to still live in that zone because honey, we don't live there anymore. You can even type an email. So So not sure why you're going to be the leader of the free world. And by free, I I whatever this fucking is. The free world. Yes. You're in a free country. Free to do. You're not allowed to leave. Free to shop on Amazon Prime Day. Thank God. Because Because just spent so we're going camping. Yeah, we got to talk about the transition because something's happening soon in a couple of weekends. We're going camping. And I'm nervous. I'm kind of nervous too. I'm nervous because I'm not getting there until later in the day on Friday. I don't want to miss all the fun. You're literally not going to miss anything. You're going to actually miss. Like Like You're going to miss setting up. Oh, OK. You'll just walk in and be like cat kitty, cat cat. And And probably be like, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah, but then we have to set up our equipment. Oh, we're going to send it with you. Yeah, I think that's going to to me and Sean. That's a good idea, actually. I know. Because that's what I want that I want to be able to set up. Yeah, and then you can go to the pool at one and just relax. Right. And then you guys show up and you guys. And the pool is where you're going to kick kitty cat from what I've heard. Yeah, we got to kick cat cat. I'm ready to see that little hog of yours. No, this little hog will be high and tight, honey. And I'm wondering if it will be because you're so worried about it. I am very nervous. And And you're nervous about things, it shrinks. It It tight. Yeah, you got to love you like Lucy Goosey, low hangers. No, I don't care. I'll be fine once I get there. It's actually the nerve. I hope I don't have a small ball weekend where everything's like tight. It's going to be we're going to to in the pool. I mean, like that's the thing. It's like, imagine, remember we talked about pull dick now come out pull dick. Yeah. You just get out and you go dry off and nobody cares. Listen, everybody is a fake. Everybody fluffs where they get in and out. Like it's fine. We're going to have to have our bulge bands on. Yeah. We're going to try to sell them. So we should be like, oh, so I'll wear them to advertise. Right. We're going to advertise. We're advertising. We're not not 15, you know what I mean? I need to go to the 14. I need to tighten blood flow. I I 16 on the weekend. It It fine. It was plenty. Oh, yeah. People at the urinals liked it. I've stretched mine out Sam Ked did. Oh, yeah. You were listening. You You all over the place. You had a kebacquat. Let's go into that. So we actually already recorded an episode and I made the audible today since all the shit happened with the goddamn president and like after his Saturday night, I figured this would be an appropriate time to just bring it back to the table and have another episode. So I do want to talk about that night. So we came, you came over, we went to the pool, we kiddy cat, kitty cat. We had a whole brat album. We had a brat pool day. We had had brat pool day. It was a great fun. Great fun. It was a great fun. Then we went to the brewery with no wonder around. Jackie O's. Jackie O's. That was fun because there were a lot of straight guys that were hot. It's so bad. It's kind of good. good. forgot that I texted my coworker. Oh, yeah. And she's like, yeah, I was texting. I was like, oh. So, yeah. It was one of those though. I was drinking IPA. After the second or third IPA. Well, it was was IPA drunk. And you were even saying, I love being IPA drunk. And And like, as do I. I I like drink two. And then I'm like, whoa. You give me two IPAs. And And like, it's over. I'll start learning my goddamn words. And And talking. I almost got spuds. It It at that level. Oh boy. So then we went to slimmers. And And our Facebook feeds. Well, you did. I lost four pounds this week. So I actually really didn't. But But But a lot of wings. I I I I is chicken. Right. Fried chicken. With With Like, so it's not. Yeah. It's not sugary sauce. It's not shit. Yeah. But I did have a couple of pieces and they were good. I mean, there's nothing like being drunk at slimmers. Having a pizza. Like Like just different. It's not good when you're sober. I feel like like no way it's good. Yeah. Drunk. It's like you. It's like college. It's hot. Here you go. It's like a tombstone. You doctor it up. Yeah, it is. But like better a little bit. But like, you know, in my dorm, we had a dorm kitchen that operated like Monday through Friday night. Like Monday through Thursday night. So you could order it. You could go down to this little closet by the common area and they used like a fucking toaster oven, one real oven and this mother things to actually make food. Like Like could get like chicken wings. Did Did Did it or they made it? They made it. Like you could get a pizza that they made. You're like an inch of a a They They They They dough and like made a pizza. Oh, that's awesome. Not even a frozen. Yeah. And then you'd have to say like four hail Marys and go back to your dorm and pray. I had to do a lot of praying there. A A of forgiveness. On On knees. A A of forgiveness. There's a a of DNA around that dorm. Yeah. Oh God. It was. So after we went to Slammers, we decided, let's walk to AWOL. We walked. Yeah. We pulled a little New York City through downtown Columbus. Oh Oh There was an artist on a, on a, a, a stair and I go, what's that? And And I saw six other homeless people and I was like, that's a little camp and they're drawing or something. And I was like, we got to keep walking here. I think I took a picture. I think you might have. It was like, wow. And then I was like, wait, we're still only halfway there. It was was good walk. It was a necessary walk with all that pizza. I was too drunk. You had to get the sulfur burps out. It was bad. I was drunk. I was pretty drunk. So we arrive at AWOL and it's what you'd expect. Completely empty. Like, cool. Do we give it another four hours? Literally, it was like 9.45 and we were like, well, we're going to have to wait another two to three hours for this to fill in. I don't get it. And it like, it did not get crowded till after midnight. No. It gets crowded at one o'clock. Yeah. And then after midnight, I'm like, and even then it was a little week and I, and I do think this is is gay campgrounds this weekend did their Christmas in July and you know, gays and Christmas. So I'm just saying there's a lot. Why didn't they do it over the 25th weekend? Well, it's the 22nd today. I don't know. Oh, actually, like some people have two weekends in a row. Oh, that's because they're gay and traumatized. So So ends and you go right into gay Christmas. No, you and I'm really excited for you. I'm not going to get into that, but I'm excited for you. I'm trying to stay on on Trying to stay on track. And you made me smoke marijuana because you're like, you're not good without it. And I was like, okay. So we're at AWOL. It It getting crowded. It gets a little crowded. Now Now ran into a fan. He's not the main character in the story, by the way, in walks three other people who come and stand next to him and start talking. And And they start talking to me and everybody introduces them. And they have a podcast and I said, Hey, you know, I'm looking at their Instagram. I'm like, you guys do a podcast. That'd be really cool. And they also seem to be like the right kind of people that you'd want to hang out with. So I'm like, right when I am trying to find a new job and potentially make me mistake. First of all, thank you for the shout out. That's great. It's so fun to meet listeners when you're out in a ballad. It's just like, you don't realize like there's all these people listening and you don't realize they know half your life and you have no idea anything about them. And And like, Hey, oh my God, it it so funny moment. Yeah. Yeah. Like Like be like, remember when you went to do it and I'm like, no, what? Yeah. It's like, wow. Oh, you said this and I'm like, they're like, you went on an entire vacation with me. I forgot. I don't know who you are. I know who you are. It's so cool in your, in your iPods and your iPods are out. That's next iPods. Oh my God. They're little contacts. They could do that. We kind of hot. So anyway, so then all of a sudden, so there's AJ, we're like, Hey, I don't know. We just met him. I was was cool. Then it starts picking up and then we go inside and we took off our shirts. We had shirts off like the whole fucking night and in comes this. I would say, yeah, daddy, um, hard bodied, French, thinking, thick, a little K back, realness and all of a sudden Jim goes, no, not Tranna. I'm not actually a fan. She, he, this is why I don't smoke weed. God, so all of a sudden Jim goes, oh my God, I fucking know you. Not like that, but that was being dramatic. He goes, oh my God. I've done that. You go, oh, I wait Park City. Yeah. And it was like a whole like thing. They They were like, oh my fucking God. And it was like they hugged each other and it was like, then before you know it, one finger was another asshole and people were making out. So he was hard. He was hot. Yeah. I was not about to kiss him after you. Wow. Listen to that fucking weed. You were like, listen, first of all, if I, I can't. What are we going to, we're not going to like camping then. You were pimping him out to me. Yeah. I don't need a pimp out. You did. I don't. You were like, no, I didn't want, he's yours. He's your guy. No, for the whole place. Your energy was off. It was off because it wasn't opening up. I I like you were reserved. Um, it was mostly uglies, but that was too drunk to be honest. Oh, yeah. That could be. No, I'm not kidding. Actually, because we, yeah, you're right. Like I think I was really kind of fucked up. You had a lot. And then I was hitting the pen, pen, pen, pen, walking, walking down, pen, pen. And And I'm like, where am I? And then you're like, you're not really feeling the vibe. You're not doing it right here. Here's this kebukwa. And I'm like, okay. I I he was hot. I I yeah. You almost, I almost went for it. But, and then I was like, and then I was like, here, Michael, you take home. Did Michael have them then? I don't know. Yeah. They They like a moment. That's good. And then I was like to share the wealth. I'm a friend. I know. I get it. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing. What you did. So don't take it personally. I just like, I don't need you to be like, there you go. And then you're like, and then I was onto the next one. Oh no, you're getting popcorn out watching me. No, I went to the next one. No, not yet, but you did. You did. I I like, when you're like, you're like, and I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, So then all of a sudden it's just like, all all a a do you know, and the Billy Eilish song? I I this shit. Do you know the Billy Eilish song? And I was like, and it starts, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and and starts getting loud. Yeah. This is how my night went. Okay. I was like, oh, and I was like, yeah, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling good. Then I went, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and and really don't remember much after that. I didn't think you did. You were like standing up against the bar like, yeah, I was done. And And was like, standing next to you, slash propping you up and you guys were just like, I don't know if I was looking around and you're trying to like, oh, you was trying to get frisky. I'm like, okay. So I go alone. Why do you go alone? You don't ever go alone. So I don't have to to stuff like that. And what I was off because you even said, why aren't you pooing that person? Oh, I did say that. I I pooing. I I at all. I think I was just kind of drunk. I'm not even kidding. Like I really was really drunk. Your Your Your turned off and I was like trying to turn mine on, but it was not really turning on. But you had some good luck though. Then all of a sudden you were like, so then I get worried. This is where I become like big brother. Yeah. You were nervous. I go, okay. We got to go, Mike. Like I can't do do I was like falling apart. I looked at you and I said, what are you doing? And you said, I'll be fine. And you're like, da, da, da, da, da, big hugs and goodbye. And usually when, yeah. You knew what that meant. It meant you about to be in trouble. About to visit the bathroom. So now you can take it from there. So we did, but no, he didn't even like, I didn't do anything really terrible. So you found a new guy, right? Just a little bathroom fun. So this is another male? Yes, another male. Oh, this one he would jerk off. off. a local one. Yeah. He's a local joker offer. I think he jerks off at the urinals. I think he does that. Yeah. I have seen it before. I said, I've seen you in here before. I was like, it looks good. It's on King Chain. It's my King. Like if you ever need a helping hand. And so Saturday night was the night. Saturday night. And then after the bar closed. Here's where things get weird. Now the lights came on and I was like, oh, it's worse than I thought. You know what I mean? Yeah, I had a memory though. Yeah. Do you remember the people coming up to us saying like, don't you want to have fun? And And like handing us tickets and shit. I think I went to that. I think that's really fucking weird. It was weird. I think that's what what throwing me off too. I'm I'm some guys are like, hey, and like, ugh. There were like actual parts. The one girl girl like, don't you want to have fun? I'm like, no. Not really. Hi. So of course I did it. So of course then all of a sudden I see on my, well, on my Instagram the next morning. Afties. And And see that it was at 3 AM. I haven't been to Afties in over a year. Like not just Afties, honey. It It like a raid. No, it was real. I'm like, it was $25 to get in. Where was it? Off like fifth. It was horrifying in a way. But it was all, he was like, the guy I went with Sam was like, I can't believe I just paid $75 to get in here. And I was like, well here I'll pay for mine, obviously. And then like, they didn't have alcohol because it's after two and they don't have a liquor license and it's like illegal. So it's like fake party. But I think they had other things. Like Like Probably. But I was like, I don't need it. But they had like a DJ and like neon lights inside. I I I video and I'm like. It It It like, but it was, for me, it was too straight. Like it was way too many straight couples. But I don't want to be around straight couples. Like no offense. But if I'm trying to have fun, I'm not like, let me find a nice straight bar, a dance club. Let me go go all all drug addicts straights and gays. No, I don't want that. So we really stayed for like 30 minutes and left because that Uber was at 255 in the morning. And you know, AWOL doesn't really kick you out till two thirds. So where were we after that? Home. Oh, that was home. I I like, he invited me over, but I told him I couldn't. I was like, well, I haven't talked about it with Matt and I haven't, you know, I can't, there's rules and regulations. I I I I I home. He was like, no, I get it. It's fine. Oh my God. I'm telling you, I woke up at eight o'clock and I see this video of Afty's at three and I go, oh no. Oh no. So then I see, here's with my little hint though that you were alive. Yeah. The hint was that you had your shit on silent and that's not to disturb. Do not disturb. During the day, I'm never in duty. You go night. When you're in the night mode, you're do not disturb other than that. That's true. I never go. I don't go. But it's your pattern. We talk about patterns. That's your pattern. You know, if I'm in D &D, I'm asleep. And that's how you know, even if I work a night shift the next day, like, why aren't you not responding? And And I'm like, oh, I'm asleep. Yep. Exactly. I'm only in D &D when I'm asleep. No, that's why I know. So that's why I know. That's thank God. So then I was like, because I woke up, I was like, oh shit, I never texted him back. You were like, hi. And I just like didn't respond. I actually did buzz you at that point. I did the notify anyway. I don't think it, I don't know. I think it was like an hour and a half later. At that point, your your It It so funny. I I up at like two PM on Sunday. Like I said, also, and you're like, hi. And I'm like, it just brought me back to like college in a way. But But like, you don't know where your friend is. And you're like, hopefully they're alive. I'm like, well, they're fine. They went home with that one random, but like, they're fine. And I'm like, he's an adult. Like he's made it this far. But I'm like, but he was drunk and but I was drunk. So maybe it was just me thinking, right? Well, you were worse than me. Oh, for sure. But I wasn't great. You weren't great. Like I got to that place and I was like, I'm fine that they don't have alcohol. Like Like how it was. It It It probably a blessing. I I like, I don't need a drink at 2 30 in the morning. You know what I mean? Because then it's after that. It's not like I'm in LA or New York. Like if app, you know, if I were in New York, yeah, I would have another drink. Right. Like Like did. We did for four nights in a row. They'd still have a liquor license. And they'd have dicks everywhere, knock on their wall. It would would be the same bar because they wouldn't have to close. And there wouldn't be any way I can go there with the entire crowd. There wouldn't have made it. So what you went to again, I want to make a place that's called before ease or whatever. Yes. Before Before Like all the the people go there. A A A party. Like a a o'clock in the afternoon. A A little slot area. A A A at four p.m. We need a slot era. Charlie XCX needs to make slot. We We in a slot era. Error. Error. Is Is an error? We're in a slot era. An era. It's not really professional. Error. By the way, Michael said you're going to Charlie XCX. I'm not. He already said he's going. I'm going. I'm not going. You're going. Well, I don't know. I already got his VIP. I'm not listening to you. It's fine. You're so annoying with your money. You're so money. You're so money. You're annoying. I almost said you're so annoying with your money. He's like, I got his VIP so you have to go. I know it's so great. Okay. Well, I can't say. It's a once in a lifetime. Now. So anyway, so that was Saturday night. So. Very wild. And then the president dropped out of the the And so here we are. And And And And dead. I have some funny fucking shit I wrote down. Because I like, I have a few things that are actually like decent. Well, I want to make a comment. I first of all, shout out to, I don't want to, I don't want to say her name just in case she gets in. I don't want to get in trouble. But my girl, my girl. Let my med spa. Hi. Okay. We need to hear this. I walk in. So first of all, I had to admit something. I I can I, he's skinny. First of all, I'm skinny. I like that's what what has to admit. Well, first of all, I'm I'm I'm the lowest I've been since like 18, which is, you know, that's kind of crazy. It took 20 years. Yeah. But I always stayed around. And And And And I always stayed around this and then 10 pounds lighter. So like this was the heavier side of like where you weren't when you're 18 ish. Yeah. But I was actually lighter at 18, maybe 20. Okay. I don't know. When I stopped doing that's crazy to me that like that's young of an age. Same. You got that heavy and like, couldn't do athletics, couldn't do other things. Well, go on walks. Well, I could. I just, yeah, you could have chose not to. Right. And then all my 20s depression, I was like, I don't want to do anything. I'm at work all day long. I'm not able to have any fun or express myself because I'm straight. Now I just walked the neighborhood with a bulge band and no underwear on and hope that some hot guy sees me and that's why I walk the neighborhood and that's an eminence something. But anyway, I I I that. Oh yeah, especially like a gang banger for B just in case bees out mowing. He could be there. He could be around. C or D could he as well. So I go into the thing today and I weigh in. I'm I'm Oh, I don't know how I'm going to do cause I actually don't usually tell her like, you don't in the past couple of weeks you've gained. Well, you know, it's crazy. I lost three pounds. Plus three minus three plus two minus four. Yeah. Yeah. I keep doing that. That's what I told you. I I like, it's how it is. I try to tell Matt this. He He believe me. It's a sea salt. I I Matt, that could all a pound of water is like nothing. That's exactly. I I like, wait, like you can't go in and be like, I'm plus one pound and like, or you just need to get rid of some water. water. water. not gaining more than five pounds, you're fine. I mean, that's my rule. And And that, I mean, if you're gaining five pounds, you know, you fucking do that. Oh, Oh, that's real weight. And you know it. No, but I regularly on a Monday, I'm like, there's no way I ate three pounds worth of food weight game this weekend. That's like so many calories. Also, we walked from part of our like, well, that was a lot of water weight, I I Yeah, it's true. And And lot of salt water. Salt, Salt, what what was going to say. Like a lot. And then you get dehydrated from drinking. It's the whole thing. That's kind of the best time to weigh. I look so skinny the next day after I drink all night. I don't look good. All of a sudden I'm like, wow, everything's tight. High and tight, babe. Because I'm dehydrated as fuck. It's not good. It's not cute. It's not good for your body. It's not not for your body, but it's good for modeling. That's good for the looks. So we weigh me. We weigh myself. Oh, God. I sound like an Irish. So we weigh myself. We weigh myself and I found out I lost weight. So then I walked in on my go, hi. I go, I need to admit something to you. And she goes, okay. And I was like, and I trust that I can say this to you. And she goes, yeah, because she listens to the show sometimes. So So knows who shouts the med spa that Bobby goes to. Shout Shout Shout Bobby's med spa. Now I go to her. I I I could get a discount. Can you? Well, I'm I'm gonna. Well, maybe I'm. Anyway, I said, there was a really hot guy that walked in after me. And I assume they're not there for some agglutide. So I admitted to her. I said, I want to admit something. I admit that every guy that I see that walks in here, I'm assuming they're getting the penile and she goes, she set it for me. Penile injection, which is like the filler penis filler. like I'll To make their dick look bigger and fatter We've talked about this before how the head gets small but then around it's big because if you want girth I know I don't like that when the earliest fuck the girth around it. I'm like the head That's gone now. It's like it almost looks almost like a circumcised. It's like a reverse turtle. Yeah Yeah, yeah, you're neck. It's like a giraffe the neck. It's like a turtle neck dick and it's fat though And it's not cute. It's just you can tell it's like plumped from like yeah, it doesn't look real to me And then when it's hard, it's like not fully hard. It's not to me That's right. Oh, but they can feel that like a girl's gonna grab it and be right spongy Yeah, huh? Huh, so but my admitting something was probably true and then I remember one time the guy We need to go and just like hang out there This guy was really hot like sit in the parking lot and be like I know and and then watch their truck pull up They're big truck or their loud balls on the back. You're like truck nuts. So you go here to get your dick filled So anyway, it's not a funny little thing though. I said like this is how I am with people I was telling you the other day like how I make people feel like normal and alive I don't remember you ever say that I make people feel normal and comfortable around me I know how to make people comfortable around me same so same. So this is how we get this how we get a Extract info this how we poo up. This is how we poo. We just say like oh, oh, yeah, just be honest And I'm like I just gotta say something to you. I have to be honest I think that every guy that walks in here was getting filler and most of them are and I Unless there was I'm not gonna deny or say it but there was a little bit of a little bit of a She's like we do ten a day. Yeah, she's like honestly. They probably do a lot I'll probably do a lot in the area less than 30 minutes. You're just like Get your small some of the people you see at a med spa. I know you're like so I have a confession Oh boy, I've been considering going to one same just because for yeah, we can I was actually gonna get filler before Camping I where let's before camping even that's what I said like where and the jiva Yeah, well they put filler in for the recall or you mean Botox Botox filler where do you need filler though? I want filler under here because I have big I don't have I look pretty good. You don't need filler really I can't make a lot of place It's already pretty square. I know I'm pretty hot. Um, I don't know where I'd put it my cock No, you don't want that leave that you don't want that I don't you don't want a spongy hard dick No, it's tooth. It's pretty good. I'm a clean white eraser like we don't need it. Yeah, it's so gross That's sick. Yeah, it's like it's plump right? We actually are in the the like I want to go well. We should go get something done. We should together and film it Oh, I think that's actually the next level I found a place It's called hydrate me but Jimmy goes so it's legit It's a med spa they do filler they do everything if I can cheat on my people. Oh because you want to do it there Oh, yeah, that's because that's where I would go there with you. That's fine because Mac goes there I mean So I feel like it's fine. It's fine. Look at me now. It's a med. It's obviously like it's working Let's get make an appointment because I need to do it definitely before PV. Yeah, that's right That's a good thing for PV. I want a little bit of filler here, and I want these wrinkles flattened You didn't have wrinkles that really that bad. Okay. Yeah, no honey. Well, when I'm tired Yeah, I have a ton we have a lot. Oh, no, no like we're 40. We're supposed to you're not 40 Bitch you're 36 seven in like two months. Oh, yeah, it's August. So that's September Watching my life. It's July 22. Oh, yeah, I forgot we're on a deadline for you. So that's a little worrisome Oh, say stop to two different campaign emails like Or text. Oh, I'm so I've already done three or four. I'm like wow gems are surging support for Harris Will you keep this in the moment? No, I won't yeah, like no, I'm not paying you you have enough money All elections should be publicly funded. There should be a limit We have got to talk about this sitting to pee we realize this is why we like sitting first of all Well, you I'm glad you finally jumped I am a sitter I'm now about a because I got made fun of for the first how many years of knowing you because I'm a permacitter Like I only stand to pee if I have to because it's a public your nose or yeah Because I'm not gonna I would rather not oh I'd rather not sit on a public toilet seat unless it's like an airport fresh to clean I can tell oh I mean, I'm you're not gonna sit at slam or like you're not good. Well there you can but like a man's war like a wall's toilets I'm not sitting on that Do you know how many people have peed on that there's piss all over it Do you know how many people have just put all their gunk and shit on the bars that we're leaning on? gunk their body But it's not from the genital poopy area I'm worried about poop and pee and Conor Ea in the pee Oh, I'm not gonna sit down on a gun. I don't really sit down at a bar anyway But I mean I use the poop at level which they had the best bathrooms for that. Sorry. I'm not actually a fan I'm not actually a fan They really did have full like yeah, you know the floor level it was like a it was like a I Cocaine and sex but I'm glad you took it to the poopy in area honey It's cocaine sex and you know and that may be why it closed it was more of a quiet gay bar by that I mean no it was It was fine, but it was fine for me. I loved I got so much attention Where you go to calm down and get attention because there's older crowd. Yeah, they loved us all the old It's like the book all the old switcher now us now. They're in the graveyard. It's been 15 years like and literally that's You know what I mean, right? Like some of them might might not be alive, but listen that's us. We're the old We're the old zone. We're the ones that are in the corner that are almost we're like when we think about when you're 20 You saw a 40-year-old like oh, he's hot for 40. Oh, yeah for an old man But you'd be like he's cute for an old guy then you'd be like, oh no like he's like he's I don't know He's gonna die tomorrow like I'm gonna worry like we're gonna have sex and he'll be like But it's different, but now I'm like don't worry my heart's fine. I think I'm gonna find out them on no We got to get that tested What if I have to get a stent it'd be for the best that probably would get it before PV I Can't take it. We've got a lot of injections to get before PV Also, that's gonna be expensive because getting a good filler is gonna be like a thousand seven fifty maybe Oh, okay, but then Botox for the for our this and for me for our forehead. Let's go to discount This will be like four hundred three hundred four hundred I don't do it. We but we'd look it'd be fun and we look good. You know we look good Yeah, we already do but it would just be another leg I'm just afraid then I'll look like Matt gates and you won't that amount of he had a list had so much work What the fuck cheek implants a facelift chin filler like he's had like he went beyond Botox like what we're talking about So like we were talking like minor touch ups He's had no surgical really see to like get this and the amount of filler here and the I mean you can tell everything's pulled back like This I think you had a full face lift because he has a hair limit Yeah, I can't get a facelift because you can't hide the incision, right? Oh, yeah So I could get a really good face. You could do a facelift. It'd be hidden, honey My forehead would be from this to here now. It would be sure. Yeah, that's the only thing is like you would be Matt gates But you know what you'd get you get to fuck your 17 year old Cuban adopted Nephew I can not if you want to do that Matt gates me. I never did that. It's like Okay, tell us about Nestor now Let's look at the mirror and let's look at her mirror and let's decide who looks like a drag queen in a pedophile Right, it's Matt gates Matt gates period like he came out. I was like It'd be real goddamn embarrassing. Did you see Rudy Giuliani just fall over? He's just walking down the aisle. Oh my god. Did you see Margie Taylor green making the noise? It was like Liza Manelli and arrested development. Did you hear her making noises Marjorie Taylor green making noises she go? an America I mean cuz these people can barely talk like she's like We're gonna make America great again MTG is so inbred like every time I see her I'm worried She is bleach blonde bad-built butch body the fiery member of Congress struggled mightily as her body rejected the unity theme as Though it were transplanted like a monkey heart founding father of the America first movement Donald John Trump Make America successful again Well see again The country we deserve She she knows she's making that noise right? Or is that is that the noise she makes when the interior monologue is going Marjorie there's gonna be plenty of time to talk about satanic Democrats just keep it in Marjorie just This is hard to do Okay, you know the best part about this though is that all this is behind us because like I'm dropping out Changes up to the room out of it like no one gives a fuck about the assassination. There are in C convention. It's like okay We're not talking about that anymore Back to pee streams pee streams so My theory and I started this probably like ten years ago. I was like if I'm at home. I'm sitting. I'm tired of the splash I'm tired of finding little drops of pee on the underside of the toilet seat or just on the ground Like they're all over when you look at a man's toilet. It's hard to a few goals like your bachelor friends bathroom and look They are missing the toilet like a lot of pee goes around the toilet Even if they think they're aiming well sometimes the force of the stream coming out You don't know the splash so there's the side effect of when you're pee shy like everyone can hear your stream Do you really want everyone to hear your stream like? Especially and why do they keep building bathrooms right off the kitchen and every house I ever go to but like you know sometimes yours is at least removed by a tiny hallway The hallway but sometimes it's right by the family room or kitchen and you're like you shut the door and you're just like I have shit I have to stand up and pee in front of this whole room everyone's quietly talking actually I would sit oh I always sit for that. That's what I said, but that's another reason to sit you can play on your phone while you're sitting You can actually do other things right and like use both hands you want to like do this and you give your cock a good Yeah, like every time you stand from the gravity the gravity from sitting and the angle I'm out it does you can lean forward to really force it out the argument for sitting It's a better argument. It's a better argument. And now he's a 60% or plus I say you're a majority sitter which is a big change for you. I mean I don't sit at work. Oh, so it's not really It's only like at home when I'm high. It's only at home and I so 60% So literally when I literally every day all the time I'm like feeling like when I'm like Yeah, cuz sometimes I like don't work and sometimes they shake I've told you this before during that Usually when I'm high at like a sporting event and then actually I'm feeling like I'm doing this old I told you this before yeah every sporting thing you go to you think you're gonna fall fall forward You're like I even can't stand like actually in your defense the last time was at the crew game I was like I can't stand honestly I'm skinny. I don't want to stand. I want to go to the national arena Sit in one of those seats now, honey. Yeah, we should as a celebration. I haven't been in a while. Well, there's nobody playing That's why oh he's over. Um, when does it restart? I feel like it's over. Oh, okay. That's so far away. Is it? You're not 37 yet. You're not 37 yet So peen where we're team set we're team set and we want to just like if you're having problems aiming Especially the middle of night and I will say if you want to show off you stand because I have Some gay guys do find it attractive if you're standing and peeing and it's loud in a toilet I'm sure I've noticed some I do that for every single person I P-next you which don't They fucking love it. I should be like Yeah, it's the prostate No, it's it's not because I don't feel like that at home. I P-right away I'll be the judge of that. I literally pee right away everywhere else, but and it's a firm stream for sure I thought we were talking about fanning out in the spring. No, sometimes it sprays, but also that happens after I come Yeah, you have to really make sure you pee after you come. Did you know that? Yeah, you don't want any of that to know you got to get it out. Oh get your come out. It's my dry in there It's so gross. It's so fucking gross. But yeah, that's usually what happens is a stream of Your cum splitting up your pee pee river. Oh Sounded so fucking disgusting. Yeah, I come in pee river like gross Saturated Bratz Name of our campground. I actually love that. I forgot about that. It's so good I know except for we are the saturated Bratz They're gonna be like K and we're like but first of all, they're probably gonna never have heard of brat So like there's that problem. You're really putting a lot of I don't think these people are really in the brat vibe They will be they're gonna be in the Kenny Chesney vibe not the okay. So I will say the locals the They call them seasonals if you will What's that the seasonals that live there in the summer like literally they take their camper there and live there They are probably not gonna know what brat is as much. That's the order crowd and yeah That's the money that like you want to be that'll provide like shots for everybody and be like this is just a good time And he they just want to see a hot young body and you're just like hey I can oblige we're looking at the visitors here the visitors are coming Out of town especially the ones who flew in like those are the ones who really want to be there I mean, there's an older crowd. I'll say that I said and you're gonna see some really ugly bodies and some really ugly Dicks including mine. I'm worried. Why are you really worried? You're gonna. Yeah, you're I'm worried too You're gonna judge me. I know I'm gonna be like oh, you're like, oh, we always make fun of all these people and look at him I'm literally gonna be like well there goes I Guess I'm not taking his load tonight. No, honestly, it's fine. I really am fine I'm gonna hear Michael over in the other tent. There's no sucking dick in the tent. I'll we Thank you Keep it off our campsite for this attrated brats do not endorse full sex on our camp site Fuck what I do at the campsite when I go to the people There's places to go to do it in front of everyone That is better. I would prefer to have it done to me. I'm not gonna do it at the camp in front of everyone I'm not I'm not sucking a dick at the camp. Have you seen the camp Dicks? I mean, I think you'll have you seen four dicks I think you'll change your mind There's some hot dick. Okay. I love the like I'm just like the one you sent me today on Twitter If somebody I was there like with all that I feel like that dick is so perfect if it's that pretty soft But that could be that also though could be I think you're just saying that cuz you're worried about your dick I'm not I'm really not I'm not I feel like I've never seen a big dick. That's not big soft Hmm, okay. I mean I'll I mean I could prove you're wrong. No, there's no when you say big What is big for you like that on that on that? Yeah, but what's big hard versus? Oh, like that's what I'm trying to figure it out a difference of like four inches never seen. Oh I've never seen someone go from No, I mean four is a lot of inches I don't think people realize that you're bigger than you think soft is the problem You're right. I'm an I'm not you've got actually a big four inch softy. That's more like three. I think Not from what I've seen. There's no way I just saw it Saturday like there's I'm telling you that was not three I think you don't know how to use a ruler because it's really small in your hand Cuz you're right. I'm a giant. I have a giant problem Yeah, you're like you have a giant dick and you're like my god like my biggest softy ever No, but I see your dick and I think you're big, but that's when I'm fluffed. I'm fluffed Right, but I need to be fluffed too. It's not like this just comes this way This is a really big topic. It's a big topic. Sorry. We're talking about our dicks non-stop No, but this is a big topic that we're gonna we're gonna address Should we talk about to people at camp about their dicks? Yeah measure dicks there. Yeah and give them bolch bands for measuring good idea We're giving away a wrap around to see what centimeter would be your best which one sir conference circumference My name that's a good drag name circumference circumference or drag King circumference It's like, you know, sir like sir. Come France. Yeah. Yeah, I like it What I like it. I didn't why did that give you the right to be measured? I'm not I'm really not the truth comes out. We got not over here small cocked Bobby. No, here's the thing I'm worried. I'm gonna wake up and it's my body though that I don't like it's the big body around the cock that makes the bad Like bleach bomb. It's the bleach body. That's like. Oh, so it's a big dick But to me, yeah, I see what you say and my big hands. Oh, it is big. It's big. It's a big dick It's big. I know I love how we're like justifying But this is what I want to get over with you especially in particular and Sean You won't have to get over well, you guys you do no, but I don't want you to like I don't want you to judge me I'm being dead ass serious right now. Like this is a big deal in our friendship right now I'm not even kidding. This is gonna make her break our friendship. Why? So everybody, why do you think I would you I love how I have the smaller dick up between the two of us and you're like Don't judge me. No, I don't know. Okay, so I'm supposed to be judged by you I'm not judging you. I already then that means I should be more worried than you Objectively speaking but on your body. It looks different. I want my body to look different Not even being I will never have the dick that I want which would be like a big. Oh, I know Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you won't I have huge legs. I have huge hands. That's true Everything else is like I'm like And it's like oh, it's big but it's you got to get to it Gotta get around those you gotta let me lay back on the bed and not move Get that bleach blonde blue hair blue hair body And I built bleach blonde butch body So, yeah That's all I have on that docket and I love that We have sundries now. So straight people. I'm sick of going to straight spaces. That's my sundry Like I hate saying it but the more I think about it the more I'm trying to avoid going to straight we I went to a work party on Friday and Obviously, it's all straight and it was just like fine You know it was like everyone's so excited and I'm like this is so boring but everyone's so excited is fun Right. I'm like why am I coming? That is the biggest read on straight people ever Like they think putt putt is they really do look forward to it like oh my god I went putt putting when I went to Myrtle Beach with Matt's family. Yeah, I can't putt putt Listen, I have to tell you a secret. Oh, no, I Saw the line I played like three holes with them And I didn't want to keep waiting in line for the next hole So I went and sat in the car and watched videos on my iPhone until they finished but that's how I feel about straight spaces That's how I feel about putt putt pouring. It's not that fun It's like I do it for a little bit and then I'm like, okay So is anything exciting happening like nope everyone's have a couple drinks Oh my god, I know Okay, so I want to I'd rather sit on my ass under a tree and look out at the water I mean really we're gonna go ride in fucking go-karts where all the exhausts blowing in my fate Well now I'm probably can but then second of all you really can't overcome the person in front of you They that's why they let everyone separate. They don't want accidents. You can't really pass someone in a go-kart anymore You can't you gotta really know you've done it a few times. Yeah, it's difficult. You gotta be aerodynamic You gotta be really you have to stick to the corners Yeah, turn literally and I can do it. I don't understand what you're saying Yeah, it's like but it's like a little bit like the most exciting thing to them is so mid to me It's like oh, you got drunk at the zoo Okay, I was drunk at the water any I'm like was there any dick out like did anyone hook up on the balcony? I'll like have we learned anyone's secrets. Yeah, I mean, no you don't I didn't see anyone It's not even about like hooking up necessarily. It's more about like just like letting loose like being free Everyone is like oh Like I was wearing a crop top and it was like I can't believe you're wearing that. Oh my god. Did you see I like it's a crop top Like I don't even have my thought I was like I'm wearing a thong as well. That's why I told people I was like I'm also wearing a thong Oh my god What is happening and then I wore a speedo to my friend's pool party and that was like a big like oh Speedo, I'm like what? Guys guys guys like I'm worried about this is why straight guys. I'm worried about the straights. They're so bored They're so boring Honestly, they are because I feel like a lot of them Especially the real straight guys the real straight guys will listen to these stories and laugh Yeah, the fake ones are like those faggots right the real ones But I think that they're real ones the real ones the real ones are like damn that sounds fun Like that's not gonna be fun. You actually can just do that and have fun You can just yeah, and that's what it is like being gay don't have time fine I know that's the other thing is I forgot like all of them. I'm hanging out with them like oh They'd have fun a fucking babysitter to be here. I was just like I'm gonna uber home after this Yeah, my husband's gonna go walk the dog like yeah, like I don't have How do you get here? I'm like I'm just gonna uber. Well, who drove you? I'm just gonna uber like I don't understand why no one's thought of this before like you can actually stay out and do whatever you Want this is all oh well you have five kids and a wife and go do your family go do your thing And you probably live in the suburbs and I feel like that's also part of the problem Is that we're able to get from pointy to maybe because we're like city folk. Yeah, they're like how do you do? You go out all the time. I'm like it's a 10-dollar mile away. It's like right here, and then it's done Yeah, I think I don't understand I feel like it's sad that my whole lifestyle is so exotic to them when it feels completely normal to me and Actually tame like my life is tame. I've never been to Fire Island. I've never been to P town, you know I'm not legal. I've never been to Palm Springs. I've only been to Wilton Manors once like I'm not trying I honestly haven't done that many crazy things And in a gay life. I have kind of and I've been in less gay. Yeah, her like gale, but for me It's just like okay. I don't get it so straight people. They're on the outs with me like straight 2025 for me. I'm not doing any more straight events or straights only I almost don't even want to travel with them It has to be like a mix where like gays are 50% at least I mean the straights were at the rib festival this weekend Oh with Brian McKnight like what the fuck and that was an eye what the fuck Standing in line for 45 minutes for a rib one rib and to listen to Brian McKnight I want you to really think about that think about it, and that's the highlight of their July That's the highlight. Oh, but yeah, that's my that's my sundry straights are out for me. I'm sorry if you're straight You're my friend. I'm not seeing you're out as a friend I'm just saying in terms of the events like just assume. I really don't want to go there I don't want to go to dinner I don't want to go to dinner with seven straight couples or six straight couples like seven girls the way it the other way it like We talked about last week Do we even look at women when we're out? But like the way it falls apart at these dinners like in the girls start breaking up into the wives And I'm always lumped in the wife category when I want to be with the men category But like they're talking about such boring things. I don't want to be with the men Oh my god I'm listening to the women talk about the kids and I'm like yeah, actually I don't need to be here like nothing fun's happening in your life Nothing so straights are out for 2025. I'm gonna let them hang on for the rest of this year, and we'll see what happens Oh my god Becklin stop putting away his toys. It's like I'm sorry. You should have seen her today. She wants new shoes. Oh my god. How fucking sad Yeah, like you should go. I'm sorry And we're sorry for you. We want you to be happy My sundry is gonna be very interesting. I think I just thought of it, but I also did you something I hate Getting ready and by that I mean I hate every routine that I have by that I mean I hate showering. I hate brushing my teeth. I fucking hate. I hate in the morning when I take all my pills I hate the monotonous of Agree the pills for me lately and been such a struggle. I'm like I don't I'm so annoyed that I take all these pills I know and I like them. They're good for me. They're fine. It's some of our supplements. They're great I'm gonna get your dick hard some get my dick hard some get my some of them are for my mental state Some are for my narcolepsy which isn't going well. Oh, it's fine. We're taking your uppers your downers No, I'm actually uppers. I'm really good. I am. Oh, that's good. No, I feel good You did read that book the books have been helping. I've been reading a lot of books anyway I can't stand like any routine, but it's like it's getting bad It's let's put it this way I sat on the couch for like two hours yesterday knowing I needed to shower But I had to work up to showering it finally. I was like well I'm hungry, so if we are gonna go right it has to be something that since we're going to dinner I have to shower so I have to go shower now. It's 5 30 But I could have showered at 2 p.m. Like I was like, oh, okay Like I don't even go to bed drunk without brushing my teeth and putting like my mouth guard And like but to get there it but getting home like Damn it. I'll brush my teeth right before you know. I'm not sleepy enough yet to brush my teeth I'll do it later. Why what is that about then? I'm like about to fall. That's a childhood like trauma Or do you think that's just like it's something bad or we are afraid of committing we're afraid of these plans We are afraid of doing these things. Yeah wonder why committing to our lives There was so much uncertainty in our life early on that it's like that we're like chameleons We're ready to run to the next thing without having to do anything It's probably why I find straight people boring their routines are boring to me And that's kind of also during yours. I was thinking to myself I used to go through the routine of straight. Oh, let's get ready. Let's listen to pain. Let's go. We're going out We're going out for what? I have to act like I'm gonna finger some girl in the corner like I can't I did sometimes that's why you want to be home early and you don't want to go out because you had bad endings Well, I'm very tired. We're old. Yeah, and also we're old I mean, I'm getting older like it's fine to go to bed early because I can just wake up and drink and go to bed Older older In a month. I think we can safely say old I hate to say it but like I'm not gonna be like bobby's my young 40 year old friend Wow, you know, I don't I'm not gonna think of you as young anymore. I never thought of myself as young I don't think of you as young I thought of you as young when you were like 34 and I knew you when I was like 30 I mean that makes sense a little bit but also You're like, oh no, I'm old. I'm like wait, but you're younger than me this whole scenario So even when you go backwards, you're still younger than me. So how am I the young one? You were young to me. I think anyone below 35 is young. No offense still look at me I'm not young. Oh, okay. I was like we were just talking about getting Botox. What did you say? Tell me I'm not young. Tell and actually I don't give a fuck. I'll tell you you're not young I know you fucking will you bitch? Well, anyway, this is like This has been another episode of not well and I'm currently not well mentally now. I'm having an existential crisis Which I did yesterday by the way. I'm great. I'm great. I'm old Oh, also, uh another another sundry when you lose weight you forget that you don't have suits that fit you You looked like a little kid dressed up. I was like, oh even down daddy's suit I couldn't even everything which the pants would not even stay around. Did you wear that to the wake? No, okay good. I was like you should just wear a polo and a I had a lot of words I had a audible. Yeah, like that did not need to be audible. No, I audible We need to go get you a nice suit. Well, I'm waiting still a little bit. I need to go down to like I need to look 20 more pounds probably 150 Yeah, I want to 150 you imagine I can't be pity as you I'd like I'd be like, okay, we need some cheek filler because they're like all I can see are bones All I want to was somebody to tell me I needed filler. It's like all I want is somebody All I want is somebody to tell me that I'm too skinny. I can't wait for that day. I can't wait. It's happening. So Anyway, uh, we hope you have a great week call us because we didn't do it to talk about lesbians because we really didn't get any calls and I know Uh, some of my lesbians have mentioned it, but I didn't see an email that was supposedly sent Um, we like lesbians, but there's some there's some things that we there's some middle of the road Lesbians there's some lesbians they make good late night pizza. Um, yes, but we'll talk about that with some real lesbians Um, yeah, so have a great week and I guess we'll see you next week. It's non-negotiable. It's non-negotiable You're not well, but you're just fine. Oh, that sounded so gay. You're not well, but you're just fine Thank you very much. And that sounds like a mr. Minus tagline It doesn't sound like at the end of a show like gayish is like and if you don't like it Someone else will it's like Kamala You think you just fell out of a coconut tree or a coconut tree is where you fell That's her move. Yeah, she just says the same thing over and over the lights are bright When the bright lights are on you it's like speak again, ma'am. So anyway, goodbye. Have a great day. Bye Take two I