A Cure for the Common Craig

Julian Sands (Warlock, Boxing Helena, Warlock: The Armageddon)

Common Craig / Nicole Episode 114

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We've always loved Julian Sands, and were saddened to hear of his disappearance and the revelation of his passing in 2023. To celebrate his life and career, we discuss a personal favorite, along with a pair of campier entries that, if nothing else, are fun to laugh about.

What happens when a warlock escapes the clutches of death, travels through a portal three centuries into the future, to locate three parts of The Grand Grimoire to undo creation? Well, you'd better believe that a determined witch-hunter follows to try to stop him! Julian Sands is Warlock (1989)!

Not into warlocks and all that stuff? Well, how about Julian Sands as an infuriatingly meek surgeon who opportunistically uses a hit-and-run accident to imprison, and physically alter,  the woman of his dreams? Probably not a particularly healthy thing to do. It's a story of obsession and possession, with some questionable acting. But hey, if Boxing Helena (1993) is a match for your fetish, you do you.

And then from there, if you thought that the acting in Boxing Helena was bad, get ready for some of the most remarkably poor acting you have ever seen from a complete cast. Thankfully, Julian Sands returns as the warlock, the one marginal bright spot. Though it probably would have helped if these actors had some decent dialogue to work with. However, as it stands, Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) is probably best used as a device to torture your enemies.