The Child that Cries Wolf - How to parent children that excessively complain. Ep 283

Background - Philippians 2:14-15 Do All things without complaining and disrupting that you may become blameless and harmless children of God. 

Let’s just start with an example: Your child is quick to tell you about every time they have an ache or pain.  When they are telling you about the ache it is often with such emotion that you wonder how they are even living through it.  Then, five minutes later, you hear laughing and playing outside and you look only to see that same child playing with their friends outside with what seems like a pain-free time. 

“When should I take my child seriously and when should I go tone deaf or even dismissive of their complaints.  

By the way, some modern day counselors will tell you that you should never dismiss your child’s complaints, rather, you should validate their complaints.  The proof is out on this one.  No, sometimes our kids need to know that irrational complaints need to be shut down sooner rather than later. Remember, it’s okay to say “NO” to your kids.  Someday they will thank you. 

• First off, our topic today is not just limited to our kids.  This idea of how to deal with complainers in a respectful way is common in so many places, work, school, church, etc.  
• We want to tackle this topic today as it primarily relates to the home because this is the first training site to helping our kids recognize and deal more appropriately with their compiants. 
• Chronic complainers that we run into in life are people that have typically practiced this act for a long time and somehow seem to believe they were successful with the strategy. 

Advice - 

As we talk about how to deal with the complaints of our children, we want to first lay out a few disclaimers and understandings. 

1. You must handle their complaints appropriately for the Season they are in.  Remember the seasons. 
   1. Service 0 - 2ish yrs
   2. Leadership 3-13 yrs
   3. Mentoring 13-18/21 yrs
   4. Friend and Counsel  21+   Emancipation
2. If you have a child in the first season, SERVICE - 0-2 years of age.  You never dismiss their cries.  
3. In the second season - Leadership, 3-13, this is where the training takes place to help your kids learn the language of how to express what the emotions are behind the complaint.  Early in this season, you can help them by teaching them the actual words of the emotion.  “Are you feeling angry, sad, tired, etc…. DO NOT GET INTO THE HABIT OF BEING THE RESCUE PARENT - THEY ARE NO LONGER IN SEASON 1. 
4. Begin to teach your child how to problem solve by teaching them how to ask better questions. “What can I do about my complaint?”
5. Later in Season 2 about ages 8-13, if you’re child leans towards the chronic complainer side, teach them PERSPECTIVE.    This is where they can begin to look at life through other people’s eyes. It is also an initial learning of EMPATHY for others.  
6. What if your child cries “Wolf” a lot?  This is where we explain to them that we must CHECK AND VERIFY.  

http://rocksolidfamilies.org

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:17

rock solid families wants to thank maxwell construction for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. For over 30 years, maxwell Construction has been a leader in turning dreams into realities building schools, banks, restaurants and many other commercial and public facilities. Maxwell Construction has made it their priority to not just build buildings but to build into their community. So if you have any construction needs, call them at 812-537-2200. Rock solid families wants to thank casey's outdoor solutions for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. Casey's has grown to be one of the largest and most unique garden centers and gift shops in the cincinnati tri-state area. Whether you are looking to take on that next landscape project or simply add a little home decor to your house, casey's has you covered. Located at 21481 State Line Road, lawrenceburg, indiana, call them today at 812-537-3800. Let Casey's help you add beauty to your home. Welcome to the Rock Solid Family Podcast. This is Merle Hutchinson, along with my lovely wife, linda. Linda, how are you doing today?

Speaker 1: 1:59

I'm good, but I think I caught your disease.

Speaker 2: 2:03

I'm good, but I think I caught your disease, my disease. That doesn't sound good. What's my disease? Remember PFS I think I have PFS Still. Yes, it keeps recurring. Isn't there an antibiotic or something? It's a flare-up, it keeps coming back. Parental fatigue syndrome.

Speaker 1: 2:19

Parenting fatigue syndrome. Yeah, so the kids are wearing us out.

Speaker 2: 2:22

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1: 2:23

Yeah, so. So the kids are wearing us out, oh my goodness, yeah. So what's going on? Well, you know this as well as I, because the texts come to both of us, but it's funny how they alternate, like they'll try you, then they'll try me.

Speaker 2: 2:34

You know why they try you.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Because I'm the softy, because.

Speaker 2: 2:37

I don't respond yeah.

Speaker 1: 2:41

So what are we talking about today, anyway?

Speaker 2: 2:42

Wait.

Speaker 1: 2:48

So is it okay to ghost your?

Speaker 2: 2:49

kids. Well, considering we're not using Snapchat or whatever, but they do see that we read it through the text and we don't answer, so especially when it's in the middle of the school day, it's like no, we're not going to have this conversation right now.

Speaker 1: 3:00

But, anyway, what are we talking about?

Speaker 2: 3:02

Well, you know what? We have a great topic today. We really do, and the reason why we do? Because we know it is your topic too, if you have kids, this is about 95% chance that this is a topic that happens in your house. It happens in ours, and that's probably why we are prompted to do this topic Okay. So you remember the old Aesop's fable. I think it was called the boy that cried wolf.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Yes, as a matter of fact, I remember buying that book when my kids were younger.

Speaker 2: 3:29

Yeah, and you remember what that fable was about.

Speaker 1: 3:32

Yes, I do.

Speaker 2: 3:38

So you got the shepherd boy who thinks it's funny as he's out with all of the sheep and he's bored and he needs some motivation or something to get him going. He needs a, a dopamine hit. I'm sure that's what he said. He goes lord, I need a dopamine hit.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Remember the old days our dopamine hit used to be like we would do those ring and run, like we'd bring somebody's door I would.

Speaker 2: 3:54

You didn't do that. Bring someone's doorbell I was reading my scriptures.

Speaker 1: 3:58

Now there's ring cameras. They could see exactly you did it or call like oh, your refrigerator is running, you better go catch it. You know like we that would be the little dopamine hit we would do back then. But can't do that anymore. People got caller id. Yeah, ring cameras. Let's go back to the wolf.

Speaker 2: 4:12

I'm sorry I'm digressing and so that you know the the little boy he says, you know what. This will be funny. I will cry wolf, I'll yell wolf wolf, wolf and all of the elders will run from the community up to the hillside to see to protect right and so he yells once and they come out and he starts laughing and laughing. They're like son, don't do that. You know, we thought something bad and they all go back anyway.

Speaker 2: 4:37

You know the story he does it like three or four times and finally he yells and the elders do not come to the rescue and there's a real wolf, and there's a real wolf, a real wolf. And so the idea here, guys, is, you know, I don't know, we have kids who complain and as parents we don't want to like, just kick them to the curb, but do they complain to the point where they're? They're?

Speaker 2: 5:04

wearing you out because you come to find out that it's maybe not always legitimate, right, and so we're going to talk about that. Um, we're going to talk about how we kind of help work through and get get a a system of understanding. Well, is this a legit cry? Uh, if it is, you know how I deal with that. Oh, is this a legit cry? If it is, you know how do I deal with that. If it's not, how can I curb this? How can I shut this down for my kid not doing it, and so, anyway, without breaking their spirit.

Speaker 1: 5:33

that's really where we want to make sure that we find a healthy balance here, Right.

Speaker 2: 5:38

Well, and we're going to probably step on some psychologist toes, because I stepped on your toes. Well, because you know there's all these like never dismiss this, never shut a kid down, and I'm sorry, you don't dismiss a child. You don't look at a child and say you're of no value. But you can and you should dismiss bad things bad ideas sin.

Speaker 2: 6:01

You know you love the sinner but you hate the sin and so we should dismiss these things. And so you know the idea that I would never tell my kid no, or I would never dismiss what I know, because I'm a few years older, I have a little nugget of wisdom. I would be able to say that's probably not going to go. Well, I'm going to dismiss that idea. And if your child is identifying their worth by that idea, that's a whole nother cultural problem that we have right Like. You just dismissed me, you hate me. No, I told you you couldn't go out with your friends tonight.

Speaker 1: 6:33

Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:33

And so we're going to work through that.

Speaker 1: 6:35

Okay. So anyway, before we do, we want to thank our sponsors. We want to thank Casey's Outdoor Solutions and Maxwell Construction and the Hoosier Ice House for their support of the conversation we're having today and what we do at Rock Solid Families and the Rock Solid Families podcast. So please, just if you know those folks, please let them know how much we appreciate their support and how much you do too.

Speaker 2: 6:56

Yeah, let's start the conversation Okay With. We frequently go down this road that, if you're even going to start to do the parenting thing, well, that you and your spouse should wrap your head around the values of the family. Okay, the values like what's? How's this family going to operate? What's it going to stand for, what's it going to push back against? Right and so this is one of these things where you're like man we never made a stand against this or for this. But let's start with a verse that brings us to mind. Okay, this is Philippians 2, verses 14 and 15. It says Do all things without complaining and disrupting that you may become blameless and harmless children of God. How would that be incorporated into the values of the family?

Speaker 1: 7:48

Yeah, but I want you to finish that verse because you know in my version I'm in the NIV do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you can become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. I think that is really important because we live in a world and a culture that is very warped and crooked, and so if we just go with the flow of what everybody in their class is doing or what our neighbors are doing, it is really easy to get into this victimhood and this complaining and grumbling. But, man, I think about the Israelites coming out of Egypt right Right right.

Speaker 1: 8:26

And here they were. They were in slavery for hundreds and hundreds of years. They come out and God has freed them and they're grumbling and they're like it was better when we were in slavery and back in Egypt. And it's like wow, that just kind of created this momentum that just took over the whole nation of Israel. And so that's what can happen in our kids, in our lives, in our family, in our homes, if we don't nip this in the bud.

Speaker 2: 8:50

Right. Well so the complaining is the action. Right, the complaining is the action, and so sometimes the complaining is happening, but until you know the why, well, why are they complaining? If it's for something legitimate, then you could see where a complaint could be filed, right. But if it's for a warpness, if it's for crookedness, if it's for selfish ambition of some sort, then we have to learn that and find that out.

Speaker 2: 9:17

And then that's when it's disruptive, right. So complaining in general, you know, is not like bad if it can be tagged to something you know, and we've had that before.

Speaker 1: 9:28

I mean, we would put shoes on our kids that you know they haven't worn all season. You know, maybe a dress shoe or a winter boot, and they put it on, they're crying. And then the more they walk they're crying and it's because their feet have grown to two sizes before you know the last time they wore it. And so there's sometimes legitimate reasons to be upset and we're hoping that our kids can. We can teach them the words to articulate why they're upset, what is wrong. But there are some times, hon, where you just get battered, banned, you know, just oh, over and over again with the same complaint and the whining and you're like, okay, what do we do about that? How do we handle that?

Speaker 2: 10:09

Yeah, here's what's even more salt in the wound of the complaint, right when you see them or hear them complaining oh, this, my foot hurts.

Speaker 1: 10:20

Or you know, this is a worse thing.

Speaker 2: 10:23

And within the hour you see them out running or laughing, and so you know, let's just call it Our kids have been guilty of this. I feel terrible, I think I'm sick and the next thing you know they get a call from a friend. Hey, can we go out and get some ice?

Speaker 1: 10:38

cream right now and it's like whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm feeling better, Like, hmm, you wanted to go home all day, but now because there's plans after school, yeah, it doesn't sit well with us as educators and again like why are they doing that?

Speaker 2: 10:52

right and again, this is part of our parenting process. We can either well, well, you know and we can dismiss it, but this is a great opportunity to teach them about some of the values that you have in your home, like no we're not going to do this for selfish ambition. You know, maybe they don't think of it that way, but as parents it is our job to say no. What's your motive here?

Speaker 1: 11:14

So, as we talk about how to deal with complaints of our children and them crying wolf, we just want to first lay out a few disclaimers and understanding, and the first one is that you've got to handle their complaints appropriately according to what season of parenting you're in.

Speaker 1: 11:33

And if you don't know what we're talking about, go back to and just Google seasons of parenting, rock Solid Families Podcast or Rock Solid Radio and you will find those episodes that we laid out and we broke down what it looks like to be a parent in the first season of parenting or in the second season, and so we just want to remember the seasons, right.

Speaker 2: 11:49

Right, because how you respond to what we'll call the complaint is completely different. And so let's just talk about that very first season, that's the season of service, that's from the time of birth to between two and three years of age, where the child doesn't have any set language other than the cry or the grunt right. And so they are very instinctively going to cry out when they need something, whether a diaper changed or needing food, or they're tired or whatever, and so those cries most always mean something.

Speaker 1: 12:24

Now the trick is you don't have a clue what they mean Exactly, so you change the diaper and you give them a bottle, and then you lay them down. Maybe they're tired, and then you're like I don't know what else to do. Right, right, that's frustrating.

Speaker 2: 12:35

But you don't dismiss it. You check and verify, and what typically happens when you're raising that little one is you actually learn their language of their cries. You'll be able to. Oh, that's a cry when they have a dirty diaper. Oh, it's about that time. That's a cry for hunger.

Speaker 1: 12:58

So you have to learn the language of the baby's cry, and so we're not going to dismiss it in that first season of parenting in the service season, yeah, and you know we, not too long ago, we've been seeing stories on the news of families, moms, who have small, small children and they're leaving them for hours or days or unfed or unchanged or unheld and just, oh, it sickens me. So we are not talking, please, please, we're not talking about dismissing that yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:23

The second season is really where we're going to land hard today because this is where the learning process on the kid's sake and the parent's sake really starts to grow, and so this is from ages 3 to 13, roughly Okay, and we would call this the leadership, because you are basically you're modeling, but you're leading them into the way of how you want them to be when they finally graduate to live out of your house. Okay, and so how you lead them through here, this is critical.

Speaker 2: 13:54

We've said so many times before, however, you want them to leave, as a young adult, out of your house. You better start implementing back in this season, right here.

Speaker 1: 14:05

So, for instance, isn't it ironic that every time you are at the grocery, that's when they're starving to death?

Speaker 1: 14:13

and that's when they can't wait to get home. And so if you start answering that and responding to that in a way that, oh, we'll just buy a snack, or we will stop at McDonald's, or if you play into that, then they have. You trained them now. Like, if I whine and if I cry wolf, and I'm always hungry, then that's what I get. But if you let them know, hey, we're going to go to the store after dinner, so if you're hungry, you need to eat dinner because we are not getting a snack. And then you hold to that line, right, right. And so you don't give in to the first whimper or cry or grumbling, because you're training them just to keep doing that.

Speaker 2: 14:52

Right, yeah, so in the second season, then in this leadership season. You know, in the first season you didn't know their language because they couldn't actually use the words.

Speaker 1: 15:01

And the second season.

Speaker 2: 15:02

Early on, especially three, four, five, six years old, even older than that at times the kids may know that there's a level of discomfort, but they may not even quite know what ails them right or what the complaint is about, especially if it's one of these emotional things.

Speaker 1: 15:17

And you get kids. What's wrong? I don't know.

Speaker 2: 15:22

And so part of your job in this second season is to start to attach some language to the emotion, the negative emotions especially right, like are you angry, are you sad?

Speaker 1: 15:35

are you?

Speaker 2: 15:35

tired, okay, and so you got to help them with that right, and as they start to practice that more you ask them, you tell me, tell me what's going on. Tell me what's going on right now. What you do with that means everything, and this is a stage that this is happening. Okay, if your child says, you know, I'm hungry, all right, and they're crying or whatever, no, I'm hungry, all right. This is where we start to teach them the problem solving and some of the logic behind it. Many parents, especially the young, as soon as they're hungry, parents do what Feed them. I'm going to feed you, right, but this is a time where I can start to teach them okay. Well, if you're hungry, you could go get something to eat, right, and teach them. The parameters of what that means Are they allowed to go into the pantry.

Speaker 2: 16:33

Are they allowed to have this? We just ate dinner 15 minutes ago. Oh, this is a learning time, guys, this is a learning time, and so this is where you're starting to set up the boundaries that you can't expect that your kid knows, Like hon. How many times have we finished? Dinner and within 15 minutes. Our kids have mentioned something about being hungry yeah and there was very little eating off a plate, and one of our rules with food is you don't have to eat what's on your plate but you're not.

Speaker 1: 17:00

But you're not going to get a snack if you're not going to eat your meal yeah, you know and and I see this with sports a lot you know when, when you put your little boy in T-ball and you're thinking, oh, he's going to love it, he's going to love it.

Speaker 1: 17:11

And day after day, week after week, he doesn't want to go to practice and he doesn't want to put his uniform on. And then you got to make a decision here, like, is he mature enough to play this sport? Okay, but if he is, then we're going to, you're going to practice, you know, unless you your your legs broken or you have a fever. But if you just let him like I don't feel like it today, okay, then maybe he's not mature enough and ready for T-ball and maybe you make a change after the season, that maybe you wait another year or two. But please don't give in to every time he's tired or doesn't feel good or doesn't feel like going to practice, because you're just you're just really giving in and you're not helping them build that resilience and what it takes to be a team and what it takes to push through tiredness. And again, it's different when they're four versus when they're eight. Okay, and so what are you smiling?

Speaker 2: 18:04

about what? So, uh, I'm to push back, why You're telling me I should say to my kid just suck it up. That's what you're saying.

Speaker 1: 18:15

But again, if he's four and you thought he would like t-ball and he's crying at every practice, I'm not going to look at a four-year-old and go suck it up. But if he just doesn't feel like it today, and that's what's happening. Our parents are literally giving in to every feeling that child has. I don't feel like getting out of bed. I don't feel like going to school anymore. I don't want to go to practice Like it just doesn't play well in the long run. But yes, in a way, yes I am.

Speaker 2: 18:44

Well, and so you mentioned the point and this is what we really want you guys to hear when your kids start making decisions based off of emotional feeling, right, we have to be the one who really starts to be their filter, because emotions are real, all right, and they actually come with quite a magnitude to the kid like, oh you know, but we cannot allow them to know that a feeling is what dictates how they're going to run through life. It doesn't mean a feeling is completely dismissed and thrown out the door, but this is where we teach our kids how to deal with the feeling. All right, and so you're going to start to see your kids coming through that second season, so they're going to get to be five, six, seven, eight years old, and some kids are going to recognize.

Speaker 2: 19:31

Well, you know, I kind of know what I need to do here. I probably should eat my meal so that I don't, you know. And they're going to learn. Okay, some are going to let the feelings override the logic and that kid, if they're allowed, will become your chronic complainer and victim. Yes, well, which is the right? That is the start of us grooming the next victim of life, right? And so we have to recognize, you know, um, and, by the way, all kids are different, right? We?

Speaker 1: 20:00

can have three kids. We get one kid.

Speaker 2: 20:02

That would never complain about anything and you could have another kid in your house that complains about everything. Yeah, I, you've got to parent them differently, because one's more emotionally driven and one's just more you know facts or whatever, and they filter through that. Your job as a parent is to help them filter. Listen, if I had one kid who was never responding to emotion, I might have to teach him.

Speaker 1: 20:26

Hey, now's a good time to cry, right.

Speaker 2: 20:29

But another kid, I might have to dial them back some.

Speaker 1: 20:31

Yeah. So I want to move into season three, which is our teenage years, because as you're talking, hon, I'm just thinking of what's going on today with our teens. Our teens have been allowed to just sit in these big emotions of fear or anger, or laziness, and so we're literally saying it's okay if you don't want to get your license till you're 20, or if you don't want to get a job, or if you don't want to leave home, and so we're literally perpetuating this victimhood and these feelings, kind of running the show, and we are catering to those emotions, which means that at age 18, you're still driving your kid around or you're still paying for all of their stuff they want. Like there's got to start being some consequences and you got to start it early. Like well, that's fine if you don't want to go get your license, but I'm not driving you to your friend's house all the time. So like you got to make a decision here and start to encourage the things that are needed to start seeing that independence.

Speaker 2: 21:32

We run into that. I'm going to stick to the driving thing for just a second. We run into it very frequently. These days and I am quick to say, within a session. So what's keeping you back from your license? And I mean if a kid legitimately has got a handicap of some sort right, you know then yeah, let's wait and let's get all of that taken care of.

Speaker 2: 21:54

However, we need to. But the typical response why are you holding off on your license? Is I don't know, I just don't feel like it. They literally will say I don't feel like it.

Speaker 2: 22:05

All right and so that it may seem so innocent, but this is one of those points where you, as a parent, are like okay, well, that's a choice you might make, but it's not going to come at the expense of all the other people that have to carry you, because they have to learn to carry their load, and we learn to share loads when they need to be shared, but we don't carry loads that don't need to be shared.

Speaker 1: 22:27

I think one of the biggest things we're seeing right now and this really came out of COVID especially, is the whole idea of I don't feel like going to school, I would rather be homeschooled, or I want to go online, or I want to stay home, and we are, as parents, just falling into this trap. And I'm just telling you, mom and dad, nine times out of 10, that's a really bad idea. Yes, there are those exceptions where a child has intense social anxiety and they have some kind of diagnosable mental illness and they've got some physical ailment or whatever. But I'm just telling you that we are creating this culture where we just sit in the fear or the bullying or the laziness or the selfishness the fear or the bullying or the laziness or the selfishness and we're not helping our kids develop resilience and help them persevere through hard things yeah, it's just

Speaker 2: 23:17

uh, it's not sitting well well, yeah, because at the end of the day, they are going to function in this world and the world's not going to really care whether they don't feel like it. And again, we're not trying to totally dismiss all feelings. What we're trying to do is let them be a better filter of what's really going to keep them from doing what they need to do. It's part of survival, guys. At the end of the day, you've got to survive and you've got to have some persistence and backbone to do that.

Speaker 1: 23:44

I would say one of the biggest wolves that is being cried is bullying, and I know there's legitimate bullying going on, but I think that the kids know this buzzword that this will get attention and this will get me what I want, because I'm being bullied and I just would push back on some parents and say I want you to go further with that. I want you to pursue what that looks like and resolve that, because, man, you're teaching your kids some important communication and conflict resolution skills If you can help them one have language to speak directly to that child, instead of you involving yourself. But if it's to the point where you're pulling your child out of school, please talk to the school and work with them to try to figure out and resolve it, so they just don't keep running every time they hit a conflict.

Speaker 2: 24:31

Yeah, Do not run into a place that Linda and I are not speaking right now. We are not saying it's okay to bully and if your kid's getting bullied, just suck it up, buttercup right.

Speaker 2: 24:45

That's not what we're saying. What we're saying is you, from a parental standpoint, give your kids the tools to work through that, and it may mean that you have to intercept a little bit of that, but I've seen more than a few times where a parent has helped and then afterwards they've actually said you know what, we're going to enroll you in some self-defense classes or some karate or some wrestling.

Speaker 2: 25:11

And it's not to go beat somebody up, it's to give them that awareness and confidence to say I can handle myself if I need to, and that right there is a, an empowerment tool that will serve well beyond those young years.

Speaker 1: 25:23

It'll get them into later years, and I see this with kids in sports all the time where they're not getting the playing time or they didn't get the position they wanted, and so then they're like taking their ball and going home Like I don't want to be a part of that team anymore and it's the team's fault or the coach's fault. And I'm just saying, mom and dad, please, instead of just keep crying wolf and complaining and arguing about that, help them resolve that, help them learn the skills to go back to that coach and to talk to that coach, because I have a feeling sometimes that coach has a little bit more to say that maybe the student, the athlete, doesn't really want to hear. Like I see you sitting around all the time, I don't see you taking that extra swings in practice, like you're not doing the work that I'm looking for, and sometimes that's hard to hear, but it's important to hear.

Speaker 2: 26:05

At the end of the day, this whole crying wolf thing is about trust. It is about trust, and your kids do not understand the value of trust in a relationship and so, early on, we want them to know that, listen, we want to be here to help you, but if you are exploiting us, if you're exploiting the resource that we could be, then you're going to break the trust and so it will come down, especially when our kids are starting to become chronic. Do not apologize for the checking and verifying that you need to do, and when they get upset and they will say you just don't trust me, you have to say well, we are trying to not allow this boy, that cried wolf thing, turn into something bigger, and so you need to know we are going to check and verify. When do you stop? I don't know. It depends. Like you know, we are still in the check and verify in our own home.

Speaker 2: 27:03

And so, and it's a shame, it really is a shame, but that's how we are in our situation.

Speaker 1: 27:09

Part of it is taking ownership. Part of it is taking ownership. Part of it is taking responsibility for yourself and the decisions you make. You know you can't say, oh, I'm too tired to go to school today, but you want to go to this thing after school. It's like no, that doesn't work that way. If you're too tired to go to school, then you're too tired to go to this thing. And so they're like well, I slept all day, well, I'm sorry. Like that doesn't work. So we've got to start having them show that they have to take responsibility and ownership of the decisions and the consequences and help them have language and some perseverance to push through hard things, cause it is going to happen in life for sure.

Speaker 2: 27:45

Yeah, all right. So let's wrap it up. The idea here, guys, is you know we're all going to have situations and times where we have that complaining. Maybe you, as a adult, you know are dealing with another adult, or you yourself might be that complainer. You know you have to understand what is doing to the relationships of other people when you start to become the person that they dismiss because like, oh, there they go again.

Speaker 2: 28:09

Dismissed because it's like, oh, there they go again, you're actually really undermining the relationship there or the trust that's there, and so you really want to teach your kids remember those values that we run by and trust is almost always in that value bank and so remind your kids this is what we need, guys, and this is what we're going to hold you to, and then after that it's just a daily. This is how we live, this is how we practice.

Speaker 1: 28:34

Yeah, we're not trying to create a family of Navy. Seals. We're just saying we want to help our give our kids resilience, hard work you know, work ethic, trustworthiness, and so we we want to help build that in our home so that when we bring, let them go out into the society they are successful, well adjusted, independent adults.

Speaker 2: 28:48

Right, all right. So, guys, if we can help you in any way at Rock Solid Families, please reach out to us. You can go to our webpage at rocksolidfamiliesorg. You can give the office a call at 812-576-7625. All right, we just want to thank our sponsors. Let's thank our sponsors for helping us out. Let's thank Maxwell Construction, casey's Outdoor Solutions and Hoosier Ice House for coming alongside of us and continuing to allow us to do. Hopefully this wasn't that much of a pushback topic today, but you know the idea that we're not saying dismiss your kids, but do dismiss some of the things they bring up.

Speaker 1: 29:27

Yeah, don't perpetuate it, don't feed that fire. So again, if you're suffering from PFS and we can help you parenting fatigue syndrome, call us. We would love to walk alongside you. So thank you so much for listening to the rock solid families podcast. Building a stronger community, one family at a time. Make it a great day. Rock Solid Families would like to thank Hoosier Ice House for being a proud sponsor of the Rock Solid Families podcast. In the heart of historic Lawrenceburg, indiana, the Ice House is at the corner of Vine and High Streets. The historic building evokes a feeling of comfort, with spacious indoor and outdoor dining, a large bar and comfortable dining areas, large enough to host parties yet intimate enough to feel like your favorite neighborhood restaurant. So thank you again for the Hoosier Ice House for sponsoring the Rock Salad Families podcast.