Rock Solid Families
Are We Teaching Our Kids to be Producers or Consumers? Ep 288
Summer is upon us and many parents are wondering how and what they are going to be doing with their kids through the Summer days. Something to consider is the mindset that you allow your kids to be in. Are they in the mindset of producing something that serves themselves as well as others? Or, are they in the mindset of "it's my break so everyone should serve me?"
We understand that not many parents are going to cater to their child's every little want, but you may be surprised how much we allow our kids to feel like others have to serve them. How about giving them a gift that will serve them well for the rest of their lives, how about teaching them to produce and serve others. As opposed to consume and serve self.
Learning to be a producers over a consumer is important to truly being empowered to direct your life. Consumes can only react to what is available to them. They wait to see what fits their desires. Producers make things happen. They also learn to realize that production is what empowers our kids to get things done.
Beyond production it's also about teaching our kids how to produce for the good of others. What are they doing that will benefit or serve others? Are they learning to cut the neighbors grass or do random jobs for others? Are they learning that the only way to survive in this world is to contribute to others? Waiting for the world to contribute to your desires can be a long and frustrating journey.
All of this discussion is predicated on the words of Christ. Matthew 20:28 - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Do yourself and your child a favor, teach them to produce more than they consume. It will serve them well.
https://rocksolidfamilies.org
#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy, #marriagecounseling, #parenting, #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity
Summer is upon us and many parents are wondering how and what they are going to be doing with their kids through the Summer days. Something to consider is the mindset that you allow your kids to be in. Are they in the mindset of producing something that serves themselves as well as others? Or, are they in the mindset of "it's my break so everyone should serve me?"
We understand that not many parents are going to cater to their child's every little want, but you may be surprised how much we allow our kids to feel like others have to serve them. How about giving them a gift that will serve them well for the rest of their lives, how about teaching them to produce and serve others. As opposed to consume and serve self.
Learning to be a producers over a consumer is important to truly being empowered to direct your life. Consumes can only react to what is available to them. They wait to see what fits their desires. Producers make things happen. They also learn to realize that production is what empowers our kids to get things done.
Beyond production it's also about teaching our kids how to produce for the good of others. What are they doing that will benefit or serve others? Are they learning to cut the neighbors grass or do random jobs for others? Are they learning that the only way to survive in this world is to contribute to others? Waiting for the world to contribute to your desires can be a long and frustrating journey.
All of this discussion is predicated on the words of Christ. Matthew 20:28 - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Do yourself and your child a favor, teach them to produce more than they consume. It will serve them well.
https://rocksolidfamilies.org
#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy, #marriagecounseling, #parenting, #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity
Welcome to the Rock Solid Families podcast. This is Merle Hutchinson, alongside of my wife, linda Hutchinson. Hello hon, how are you today? I'm relishing in the last day of freedom I think we've had a number of shows where you've made that statement about the school year's ending. I'm assuming the school year's ending and this is what's on your mind.
Speaker 2:You're going to lose your freedom after today for your morning routines and all these things I actually heard someone, a woman today talk about how moms were taking off this week to get that last day of freedom, doing me stuff and not having children under your feet, and so, yeah, it's about to change.
Speaker 1:You know, what's different, too, is just the routine that changes, right? You know, for the last nine months we've been in hey, the alarms go off. At this time people start moving and shaking.
Speaker 1:These are the things, you know, that happen and so that. And that's going to be even different this year for us this summer, because now we have two drivers in the home besides you and I, and they're getting up at different times to go to work, and sometimes one doesn't work till later, so well, I can sleep in today, you know, or whatever. So there's just going to be a whole different routine and probably not even a routine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I used to be where. Like what are you doing today, mom? Cause they wanted you to drive them somewhere. Now it's like they got their wheels. You know they got a plan. So, yeah, thankfully we're still working, cause they they get more and more expensive, by the way, as they get older. But you know that that actually goes with what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does that leads us to our conversation. So we're wrapping up the school year, we're coming into summer. One of the things that I kind of used to jump on your case on is hun, your job is not to entertain them. They have to go and do this stuff on their own. Now that's kind of changed, Not that they want us to entertain them, but they want the world to revolve around them.
Speaker 2:And they want you to still take care of all their needs. But they want all the freedom and they want no responsibility. Right right Like that's a typical teenager.
Speaker 1:And you know, as parents, we're not to blame them. That is if we don't. If that shocks us. We're just being ignorant about what it is to grow up.
Speaker 2:I have to admit I was a major consumer I was. My dad gave me a gas card and handed me a new car at 16. And you know this, thanks a lot, dad.
Speaker 1:I'm still trying to clean this mess up, and we've talked about that.
Speaker 2:I got a brand new car at 16. You got a car for $25 with the engine in the back seat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on the back of a tow truck, yeah, but nonetheless, the idea here is we're going to talk about are you producing? Are you raising your kids to be producers or consumers? Yeah, and so let's be very clear. Nobody is either one or the other. You're always producing and consuming at some rate. Right, the fact that you're a living being to consume, to have energy to do that. But also then, what are you doing with the energy?
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker 1:Is the energy only to come right back and feed yourself again with more stuff, or are you? Do you have enough energy left over to feed others right For the good of the population, and maybe the family or the marriage or whatever? So the idea here is this does not just happen randomly.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Okay. So anyway, before we get too much deeper into that, let's thank our sponsors, and then we'll get rocking and rolling here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we want to thank our sponsors Casey's Outdoor Solution, Maxwell Construction and the Hoosier Ice House for their support of what we're doing here at the Rock Solid Families podcast, but also the organization that's behind this podcast and that's Rock Solid Families, and so if you're just hearing about us from the first time, we would love for you to check us out at rocksolidfamiliesorg. We are a faith-based coaching organization located in the greater Cincinnati Ohio area, serving individuals and couples and families through the power of God and His Word, so we would love for you to connect with us, definitely not the power of you, and I, no, no, no, and we would love for you to subscribe.
Speaker 2:Subscribe to the Rock Solid Families podcast. Subscribe to the other podcast that Merle produces and that is the Strong Dads podcast, which is him with other men doing real life, which we got a new spin going to be coming onto that soon.
Speaker 1:Probably should be in June, and I'll be announcing that here soon. But probably got a new spin coming there.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Going to be some fun stuff, so yeah. So just check us out.
Speaker 1:Okay, also, just last week we had our monthly parenting class, and so just want to make you guys aware of that. The fourth Saturday of the month we have a parenting class our Families Rock class that is being offered down at the Firehouse on Tate Street in Lawrenceburg, indiana. It starts at 830, goes to noon, and that's just a great opportunity, guys. It's 75 bucks and you get a great bang for your buck. You're going to get well over three hours of counseling, and sometimes you're going to even see it almost feeling like a one-on-one counseling session because, the number's small enough.
Speaker 1:It's intimate enough that you can ask a lot of your own specific questions.
Speaker 2:So the next one, as we record, will be June 22nd at the Lawrenceburg Firehouse.
Speaker 1:There you go.
Speaker 2:Yep. So tell me about our topic today, because you know you're the one that introduced this idea. But we've talked about this and we work with families all the time on this topic. But why this topic?
Speaker 1:Well, you know, we started talking about the idea of our own kids Summer's coming. The idea that they demand more out of life as they get older. Right, I should say more expensive things right, like they want cars.
Speaker 1:They want freedom, they want clothes, they want shoes. They want freedom, they want clothes, they want shoes. They want all these things, and it is our job to help them understand. Well, what is all that about? What's it cost? You know how much time will it take? They don't always understand that it takes a resource to get these different things that they want, and so if they're 16 years old and their eyes are wide open with shock, like I didn't know that the car cost $10,000, then, that's on us as parents, we probably dropped the ball somewhere.
Speaker 1:It was so funny.
Speaker 2:You said that because we're talking about the end of school and them getting you know, doing work and earning money this summer. And, of course, our 16-year-old, who just got his license and a car. He's all excited about making that money. And then he mentioned how he has a car payment because he's paying us.
Speaker 2:We're the bank, and he's bought our car, his car, from us, and how he has to pay it. And he's like, and I said June 1st, and he's like, well, how about June 29th? I said, well, you know, I'll be like the bank and have interest, you know.
Speaker 1:And he's like interest.
Speaker 2:I'm like yeah, I mean, if you don't make your car payment within 10 days, you start paying interest, and so he didn't like that idea.
Speaker 1:He figured as long as it's in June somewhere, I'm like even know what interest payments are Right. And because and we're again, this is part of our job as parents to say okay, like you need to understand what goes into these kinds of things, and so the idea here is we are all producers and consumers, like we said before but, as we get older is our dominant mindset. Do we always see life as it revolves around us? Or are we part of the life you know are we are we putting into life.
Speaker 1:And so what is your mindset If your kid is constantly stuck in what today's world might consider a selfish, narcissistic?
Speaker 2:mindset, which is that entitlement.
Speaker 1:You know much of that outside of mental illness. Much of that goes to us as what kind of parenting that we may have been doing. I'm listening to an autobiography it's actually Priscilla Presley about Elvis Presley.
Speaker 2:Which is crazy. Now, like Graceland, yeah, well, and this just came up.
Speaker 1:That'd be kind of interesting. I want to know what kind of character Elvis was. You know what kind of actor or famous person he is.
Speaker 1:But behind the scene, at least the picture she's painting is one. He was very, very nice and compassionate as long as it served him well, right, and so everything was about him and you go wow. But then you find out how he was raised. And he was raised by a very protective mother, because they lost a child early in life, his actual twin brother, and so she overly gave to him and gave him, even though they were a poverty stricken family he wanted for nothing.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, yeah and so that just really grabbed my mind. Like here you have this guy who's ordering people around, he's yelling at people and just like everything has to happen around him. Around him the consumer Like where did that come?
Speaker 2:from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and in a large degree it probably came from how he was raised.
Speaker 2:Parenting, yeah, so we were having dinner the other night and our daughter has graduated from high school and we were talking about debt and saving money and credit cards and I said, hey, this is the time when all the credit card companies come after you. Because you're 18, you can make decisions on your own and you're getting out in the world and they love to connect you with a great credit card at 32% interest right and so we started talking about that and thankfully, she is in a class right now of Dave Ramsey Learning Financial Peace, and so she's talking about and so our 16-year-olds again doesn't get it yet as far as like.
Speaker 2:what does that mean? It's like well, sure you can go buy that $1,000 TV for your dorm room, or whatever, but you're going to pay 32% interest, so you're going to pay so much more back on that, and so, really, about that, I got to have it now kind of mentality, right, like, oh, I can credit, I can charge it and worry about it later, but the consumer mindset is all about me, what I need and want right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I always like to think about that in hours, because that's where our kids can connect, like okay, so if it's 32% and you made $100, that would be $32. That would mean you have to work nearly three hours at your restaurant job to just pay that. Okay, so now you put it in an hour. As much as she doesn't really like to work, I'd have to work three hours making cheese coneys.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, this is not an important conversation. If you're okay with letting your kids being raised and coming up as consumers because we live in a consumer driven lifestyle and way, and so being a consumer has a lot of benefit to those who are producing because it creates money in their pocket Okay. And so if you're okay with, hey, consume, consume, consume fine, but at some point we made a decision here, lynn and.
Speaker 1:I and many of you listening, that we're called to be more than consumers. We are called to serve, which is actually a producer sort of aspect or mindset, and so to do that, we need to wrap our head around how do we start and how do we go through it?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you know we've got to think about what season of life our kids are in, right? So you know we've talked about seasons of parenting before. It's really important that if you have an infant, right zero to two.
Speaker 1:Yes, god has called you Absolute consumer.
Speaker 2:Yes, you're right, and it's exhausting.
Speaker 1:And he produces a lot of poop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know it is exhausting when you're serving, you're changing diapers, you're feeding them, you're changing them, you're rocking them, and that is part of that season right Right. But we don't want to do that to our 13-year-old.
Speaker 1:Right right.
Speaker 2:So zero to two is the service where we are strictly treating them as a consumer. We're not expecting them to be able to do their laundry or feed themselves yet. Well, actually feed themselves, usually a little bit Starts too. Yeah, starts, yeah, but again a lot of consumer, very little producing, yeah.
Speaker 1:But the biggest part of our work actually starts with when we're raising our kids in this producer-consumer thing, starts in the leadership. The second season where we're starting from the age of three and we go up into the early teen years, and so this is where we're going to really focus a lot of our conversation today All right. Yeah, it starts in the leadership season and we're going to go through some different things.
Speaker 1:I have 10 different things here that that we can start walking through with our kids. A lot of these are not mind blowing, guys. These are things that probably your parents did with you, but part of what we're talking about today is be intentional. Yeah, be intentional, like this is not just happenstance. If we live in a very comfortable world and it's very easy to allow your kids to just stay consumers, yeah, and so we actually have to spend probably more time teaching productivity than if you were 100 years ago and you had to keep the farm going just so that your family could be fed?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you bring up a good point. We've talked about this before. When you've got a family that lives on a farm, you know those kids learn very early.
Speaker 2:You don't sit around and play video games before school. In the morning You're out feeding the chickens or collecting the eggs, or you know, or watering the cows, or whatever it is. You learn in that leadership season, and so it starts in the leadership season three to about 12, 13, and then it's reinforced in the mentorship season, which is the teens, the 13 to 18, depending on when they leave the nest right, we have a nine going to be a 19 year old this summer.
Speaker 2:But that's that mentoring season where we have got to, not because we can't. You know, just because we can doesn't mean we should.
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 2:So we start to back off and let them have some responsibility If they want that freedom. With freedom comes responsibility. So if they want all these freedoms but yet have no responsibility, it's our fault.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So a couple of scriptures that just go with this and, by the way, there's no shortage of scriptures that talk about the importance of service.
Speaker 2:You don't work, you don't eat, that's right.
Speaker 1:But Mark 10, 45 says for even the son of man came not to be served but to serve. And to give his life is a ransom for many To give right. We joke around here all the time. Are you a giver or a taker? Are you a giver?
Speaker 2:or a taker. Well, what was that phrase you used when you were the guidance counselor? Are you a bucket filler?
Speaker 1:Bucket filler or a.
Speaker 2:Bucket emptier.
Speaker 1:No, it had a different term Bucket spiller. No, it had a different term bucket, Bucket spiller. Bucket dipper, Dipper a dipper. Are you dipping in the bucket or are you pouring in the bucket?
Speaker 2:1 Peter, 4, 10 through 11 says each of you should use whatever gift you've received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in the various forms. Do not be slothful.
Speaker 1:I love the word Do not be slothful in zeal.
Speaker 2:Be fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord. Yeah, Good stuff.
Speaker 1:Okay, so here we go, get out your pen quick. We're going to do 10 quickies here on how you guys can come together and make the start of this summer better in terms of how we're raising our kids up, the very first thing we've talked about this so many times, in all things, parenting unification.
Speaker 1:All right, and so the very first thing is get you and your spouse on the same page of saying well, what do we believe in, what do we agree on, what's important, what's not important? If you try to go this alone, it's not going to take long before the old triangulation, strangulation thing begins to happen. Well, mom never tells me to do that. Well, dad doesn't make me do that. And the next thing, you know, you are cutting each other out of the picture.
Speaker 2:By the way, a lot of parents get stuck right here yeah yeah, get stuck right here and it's really a marital issue more than it's a parenting issue, and they're not aligning emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and so because of that they don't have trust. So I would say get some help for that, if number one, being a united front, is still already a problem. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Number two state what you want for your kids. So this we've talked about many times. When we talk about what we want for our kids, we're not talking about, you know, what we want in the absolute speck and moment of time, like right now. I want them to be quieter right now. What we're talking about is what is a long-term vision, right? What's the big picture? So, when they are at the end of that, um, that mentorship phase and they're, they're 18 and leaving the house, or 21, or whatever that age looks like in your uh, environment, what do you want them to be like? All right, and so we state that. And again, hun, I was just working with a couple of not too long ago and there were just so many assumptions that and they were very much on the same page, but how they went about getting to those things, well, I thought you, I think you overreact on that one. Well, I think okay, so, in general, we thought we were going driving to the same place, but we are taking totally different roads to get there.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Number three begin with teaching the importance of contributing to the family. Okay, it's important that they know there's. Everybody has chores. I have chores, dad has chores and you have chores. You know mealtimes. We are a family. We're going to eat together. We're turning off the screens. Everybody's going to help do the dishes In our home. This has been something that we did since our oldest were little. No one leaves the kitchen until everything is done, and that blows some couples' minds Like really, I thought I was the slave that does it all. No, If you have children who are able to carry a plate over or put the ketchup back in the fridge or wipe, the table down in our home everybody's got a job.
Speaker 2:You're either wiping the table, you're vacuuming, you're washing the dishes, drying the dishes, putting things away, and it goes a lot quicker and people feel like we're a family. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just can't emphasize enough here the importance of are you a contributor to the family? Right and so in all things, let your kids know that it's family first it's family first. You know. Well, can I, um, can I go spend time with you, know this person, or go to this friend's house? Well, what does that do to the family?
Speaker 2:Right, like always, starting well, what?
Speaker 1:how would it impact the family? Um, you know, we're at that age now, hon, where we have teenagers and sometimes we have family events and sometimes they're not all that fun and exciting. Like you're going to somebody's anniversary party or whatever, and your kids are going do I have to? Go. And again, I'm not saying yes or no to that. What I'm saying is is you and your spouse come and say, hey, is this a big enough family deal that we want our kids to be contributors to the importance of the family?
Speaker 1:And if you're like, no, like, this is for grandma, and grandma's not going to be with us much longer, and we our kids need to know that we need to contribute to the quality of our family, and so these are just the kinds of things that your kids need to know that we do this for the good of our family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what we're seeing now is this drift where everybody goes, does their own thing. No one's really even going and doing something with somebody. We drive separately we, we go in our rooms and shut the door.
Speaker 2:We we kind of live our own lives, even as couples sometimes, and so we want to show like, hey, we're going to all watch a movie together, we're all going to eat dinner at the table, we're all going to go hiking together, and so the more you can do that, the more you show like, hey, we work with each other as a family, yeah, yeah, good stuff.
Speaker 1:The fourth thing is and some parents shield their kids from this, and there is a time to shield them from it okay, but let your kids know what things cost, not to guilt them. That's ridiculous, right? Like I paid $200 for those shoes. You should feel terrible but to say, hey, you know. Okay, so here's what these are going to cost, right? How are we going to go about covering that? Right, this is outside of a gift, right? When I give my kid a gift, I don't need to say, yeah, you know, I just bought you shoes as a birthday gift and, by the way, those cost me.
Speaker 1:Why don't you?
Speaker 2:hey, just leave the price tag on the shoes, if that's the way you're going to do it.
Speaker 1:But to let them know the cost of things. And, as we talk about sometimes with kids, it's good, especially early teens, to turn that if they have a little bit of a job or something, turn it into what it would cost them in hours. Well, that would mean you'd have to go cut three yards or you'd have to go do this service or whatever. So your kids start to realize, hmm, there's a quid pro quo here, there's an exchange.
Speaker 2:I had a mom just recently say her son was complaining about having to feed the dog. They're like oh this is so boring, why do I have to feed the dog? They're like oh, this is so boring, why do I have to feed the dog?
Speaker 1:And she's like I feed you Let me stop feeding you.
Speaker 2:How would that?
Speaker 1:feel for you.
Speaker 2:So it costs you something and it definitely makes a difference if you don't do it. So number five encourage opportunities for them to be responsible, like being in charge of feeding the dog right. Or being in charge of taking the garbage out every week, or or being in charge of taking the garbage out every week, you know, or they're in charge of cleaning a bathroom or picking up their toys, so you know, responsibility is the key for them, moving from a consumer to a producer.
Speaker 1:If you're a consumer, you're only responsible for yourself. If you're a producer, you're thinking outside of yourself. It's actually also where empathy starts to come on Like if I know I'm producing, for if I'm actually going to produce a product, I have to look through the consumer's eyes right as to, well, what kind of product would?
Speaker 2:they want.
Speaker 1:And so that's the start of empathy, and so the idea here, like when you start to give your kids responsibility, it starts to get them outside of their own eyeballs, right, and they have to start to see how things are outside of them. And so giving responsibilities as it relates to the family, and taking care of other things.
Speaker 2:Well, and I was thinking about the dog again, you know, when he forgets to talk about like well how did Fido feel? You know, how would you feel if I forgot to feed you? And so you start to realize like, oh gosh, what I do matters.
Speaker 1:Do dogs get hangry Hangry? Oh, I bet they do. That's when they start chewing up shoes, right yeah.
Speaker 2:So that was number five. Number six teach them to serve and give of their time, talents and treasures.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially when they start to recognize they have certain talents. Yeah, especially when they start to recognize they have certain talents. You know this helps them also, hunter, recognizing some of the gifts that they have. Right, like you know, you find out that your kid has the ability to you know, it doesn't bother them to go work with Grandpa. And Grandpa's old and everything. And they're like no, I'll go hang out with Grandpa for a little bit. Wow, that is a gift, right.
Speaker 2:We have a couple of friends who have kids that are very talented musically.
Speaker 1:Not us.
Speaker 2:Not us, but from a young age they have not only really polished those gifts, but they have used them for the Lord and I just can think of three off the bat of I've seen them grow up and take those gifts of singing and playing music and like now, they're leading worship right, they're doing retreats and coming to schools and singing with kids, and so it's like wow when you see them go from.
Speaker 2:I don't want to spend my Friday night at a women's retreat or I don't want to go to school early and play for our before school Bible study or whatever Like, but they're when they're willing. Man, as a parent, I'm sure those parents are super proud of just the serving and giving back that those kids are doing with their talents. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, number seven is to have an expectation that your kids learn to appreciate things. All right, and so we've all seen this before. We've seen, when our kids have received gifts, whether it's a Christmas or birthday and you know, three days after Christmas or whatever, the things laying, whatever the toy or whatever is laying out in the front yard broken up and you know it's not taken care of.
Speaker 1:It's been an issue in our house, right, and it's been frustrating and your kids can get frustrated going. Well, you know I don't, you don't get me this, you don't get me that, and you're like well, it's really hard for me to want to get you that when there's no appreciation. And the way your kids show that appreciation is learning to take care of, learning to be thankful for and have some manners about, and so these are some things that in early age, you have that expectation that your kids should say thanks and then should take care of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean we've. We try to instill this in our kiddos by the car matching fund, like you know, if you save $5,000, then we'll match that and you can buy it. Well, that was almost what happened with our older.
Speaker 1:That almost killed us. It almost killed us. How about $2,000?
Speaker 2:But the point is is that when there's some buy-in right, when there's some investment, when they learn to appreciate it, when they value it, then you're teaching them to be a producer. And we've even had kids who have spent their money and bought something they thought they wanted and then decided they didn't, and so we had to teach them how to clean it up, fix it up and then sell it right, and so they learned to appreciate the value of that thing. I'm thinking of an electric scooter on that, or a dirt bike. Couldn't wait to have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's number seven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, number eight, don't do things that they are capable of doing by themselves or for themselves, and so this can go with both moms and dads. I will see it more often with moms that they maybe sometimes because they just feel like it's their duty or job, and sometimes it's faster, it's easier if you just clean the room or whatever. But the idea of, hey, are they going to be contributors to the family and if so, then they have to have the opportunity to do these different jobs. And if you're constantly just you, kids whatever, just go out and go play, I'll take care of the dishes you really have not done much to help them, and so they're capable of doing these things. And, by the way, stretch what you think they're capable of. Kids are usually way more capable of doing things than what you might think. Like we think about laundry. When did you have our kids start with laundry?
Speaker 2:Well, what's funny is is that our older two not nearly as early as I should have, and so our son went to college.
Speaker 1:We learned that later.
Speaker 2:Our son went to college. You never taught me how I'm like that's my fault, but our youngest three a lot earlier.
Speaker 1:And they were capable. Elementary age, yeah, early junior high. So again, you're not trying to overload them with things that they're going to get in trouble with or hurt or something, but you'd probably be surprised with a lot of kids. They're more capable, um, and so stretch that just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Speaker 2:that should be your mantra. Okay, um number nine, give them examples of people who've chosen uh, that dominant life as consumers, as well as those who've chosen to be producers. You know I mean when they see this YouTube influencer or this, you know, nba star or whatever like. Try to help them see what a producer and a consumer looks like.
Speaker 1:Right, I'll go back to my Elvis story.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, from the outside you might think he has it all From the outside you might think he has it all the deep, dark, sad life that he lived is just kind of mind-blowing, and in hindsight I can read this book and go you didn't see that coming, but he was so wrapped up into himself that he was miserable and he was then trying to cover the pain and the loneliness with all of the drugs that he got into and he lots of weird practices too, where he was trying to quench this uneasiness about him yeah and so the outside might look and you know we have kids.
Speaker 1:Oh look, he's got. He's got rolls royces and he's got ferraris and he's got all this stuff. Yeah, but that consumer, ultimately, consumes itself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then number 10,. Let them know that you did not invent this function of parenting. It was invented by Christ. And so let them know that there is a higher power, that there is a God who loves us but yet holds us accountable for what we do and what we have and what he expects from us, like it's not just our idea, this is God's idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that's the very first scripture I started with was in Mark, where Christ is saying I didn't come here to be served.
Speaker 1:I came here to serve, and so the reason why that's important is because sometimes your kids won't understand why they have to do these stupid things. Right, this is stupid. I remember one of our kids saying this is so stupid. And I go yeah, stupid will get you stupid, but it goes way beyond what we are making up Like. We're called to do this because it ultimately produces great things for all of us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you know, as we wrap up, this challenge for you is you know we have a huge responsibility in raising our children and what we raise will go on to create the next generation. And so think about that. What kind of people that you want leading our country? Or you know businesses? Or are we training our children up to be those next gen leaders? Yeah, you know our friend Frank always says you know future leaders of our nation.
Speaker 2:He has even a t-shirt of that and, like he believes in investing in and empowering those elementary school kids to say you can do it Like he would come and make them help teach his Sunday school class or work alongside him Like he wants to show them. Hey, I don't want you to sit on your hands and eat chips and salsa and play video games in the basement until you're a young adult. It's time to go out and be the hands and feet of Christ to make a difference in our world.
Speaker 1:All right. So your summer is starting. Your kids might start with on board and they might have such a busy schedule that you're the one driving them all over the place to ball games and activities. This is a time for you to sit down and go. Hmm, so hopefully, uh, this, um, you know, opens up your mind a little bit to some different thoughts. Get into some conversation with your spouse, get on the same page and then start to work this and present this to your kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one last thing, hun, because you kind of touched on it a little bit, is you know, yes, we don't want to completely overschedule our kids in the whole summer, but we also want to give them some kind of structure that they aren't just sitting around doing nothing because you're at work all day. Okay, give them some kind of daily chores.
Speaker 2:you know expectations like whether it be you know, I remember our youngest, we had them read so many pages, or you know, do so many things while we were gone so that they at least feel like they they produce something right, that they were productive in their day.
Speaker 1:Before I get home from work today, I need these three things done Right and it helps your kids really so much going All right. You know that's an executive functioning like well.
Speaker 1:I better set some time apart to get these things done. So there's a lot of that involved. Yeah, all right. So we again we want to thank our sponsors Maxwell construction, casey's outdoor solutions and the Hoosier ice house. We also want to thank all of you guys that are out there listening and sharing our show. As Linda said before, share the shows but also subscribe to the show. If you're just listening to the show, do us a favor and subscribe. The more the subscribers are, the more ranks up into the search engines to help these kinds of messages get out. So we ask for your help in doing that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's about all we got.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so thank you so much for listening to the Rock Solid Families podcast. Building a stronger community, one family at a time.
Speaker 1:Make it a great day and a great summer rock solid families wants to thank maxwell construction for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. For over 30 years, maxwell construction has been a leader in turning dreams into realities building schools, banks, banks, restaurants and many other commercial and public facilities. Maxwell Construction has made it their priority to not just build buildings, but to build into their community. So if you have any construction needs, call them at 812-537-2200.
Speaker 2:Rock Solid Families would like to thank Hoosier Ice House for being a proud sponsor of the Rock Solid Families podcast. In the heart of historic Lawrenceburg, Indiana, the Ice House is at the corner of Vine and High Streets. The historic building evokes a feeling of comfort, with spacious indoor and outdoor dining, a large bar and comfortable dining areas Large enough to host parties, yet intimate enough to feel like your favorite neighborhood restaurant. So thank you again for the Hoosier Ice House for sponsoring the Rock Solid Families podcast rock solid families wants to thank casey's outdoor solutions for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast.
Speaker 1:Casey's has grown to be one of the largest and most unique garden centers and gift shops in the cincinnati tri-state area. Whether you are looking to take on that next landscape project or simply add a little home decor to your house, casey's has you covered. Located at 21481 State Line Road, lawrenceburg, indiana, call them today at 812-537-3800. Let Casey's help you add beauty to your home.