Rock Solid Families

Ask Us Anything Series - How do you share the good news with a friend? Ep 295

July 15, 2024 Rock Solid Families Season 6 Episode 295
Ask Us Anything Series - How do you share the good news with a friend? Ep 295
Rock Solid Families
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Rock Solid Families
Ask Us Anything Series - How do you share the good news with a friend? Ep 295
Jul 15, 2024 Season 6 Episode 295
Rock Solid Families

I don't know about you, but sharing my faith has never been easy.  I grew up with my faith being assumed, but seldom discussed in any depth with others.  I especially didn't feel comfortable trying to persuade someone to come to faith.  You know the saying, "never discuss politics or religion."  But, is this right?  

The Great Commission commands us to go out and make disciples.  It speaks of the importance of sharing the Good News and introducing others to the gift.  The question then becomes, "how do I do this?" 

In this show we take on a question that was presented to us. How do you share the good news with a friend? 
We take on the various aspects that should be considered when discussing faith with a friend, especially a non-believer.  Getting background information.  Knowing a little about their past experience with faith or religion.  Knowing about their upbringing and what if any exposure they ever had to Christ.  These are all important things that need to be considered when approaching this topic.  

Above all, developing a relationship based on trust is essential to truly being heard by your friend.  Being bold with the Word, but cold with the approach may quickly lead to a dead end.  Be patient and allow the relationship to grow.  Be authentic in the relationship rather than seeing it as a way to "win another person to Christ."  Yes, we want to win another person to Christ, but we first have to develop the relationship in order for the person to actually hear our words.  

Some people are gifted with the ability to evangelize.  They speak boldly and others seem to listen.  However, even if we don't seem to carry the gift, we can still carry the words and actions of Christ.  Let our actions speak and demonstrate the Good News in our lives.  Letting others see the good news is just as important as them hearing the good news. 

https://roccksolidfamilies.org

Support the Show.

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy, #marriagecounseling, #parenting, #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

I don't know about you, but sharing my faith has never been easy.  I grew up with my faith being assumed, but seldom discussed in any depth with others.  I especially didn't feel comfortable trying to persuade someone to come to faith.  You know the saying, "never discuss politics or religion."  But, is this right?  

The Great Commission commands us to go out and make disciples.  It speaks of the importance of sharing the Good News and introducing others to the gift.  The question then becomes, "how do I do this?" 

In this show we take on a question that was presented to us. How do you share the good news with a friend? 
We take on the various aspects that should be considered when discussing faith with a friend, especially a non-believer.  Getting background information.  Knowing a little about their past experience with faith or religion.  Knowing about their upbringing and what if any exposure they ever had to Christ.  These are all important things that need to be considered when approaching this topic.  

Above all, developing a relationship based on trust is essential to truly being heard by your friend.  Being bold with the Word, but cold with the approach may quickly lead to a dead end.  Be patient and allow the relationship to grow.  Be authentic in the relationship rather than seeing it as a way to "win another person to Christ."  Yes, we want to win another person to Christ, but we first have to develop the relationship in order for the person to actually hear our words.  

Some people are gifted with the ability to evangelize.  They speak boldly and others seem to listen.  However, even if we don't seem to carry the gift, we can still carry the words and actions of Christ.  Let our actions speak and demonstrate the Good News in our lives.  Letting others see the good news is just as important as them hearing the good news. 

https://roccksolidfamilies.org

Support the Show.

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy, #marriagecounseling, #parenting, #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Rock Solid Families podcast. This is Merle Hutchinson, alongside of my favorite and only co-pilot, linda Hutchinson. Linda, how are you? Have you recouped from your travels?

Speaker 2:

Yes, but you know I'm working on it. It's hard to say goodbye. It's hard to say goodbye. We traveled south. We had a chance to go visit our son and daughter-in-law and their family and the new home, and so we even got a chance to worship with our grandkiddos and see where they're going to be going to school and a new. Christian school they'll be attending soon. So yeah, it was great seeing them, but it's so hard to leave. Like those hugs get harder and harder to let go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's true, it's true, but I knew there was a but, but it's also nice to get back in your own bed didn't you feel that last night we hopped in our own bed?

Speaker 1:

and it was just like, even though our, our accommodations and everything were great yeah great.

Speaker 2:

Uh, there was nothing wrong or anything.

Speaker 1:

It was all great and.

Speaker 2:

But laying in your own bed last night I was like well, it was funny and that was just like we were sleeping in our granddaughter's bed, um, and, and she was teasing you because you were sleeping in a pink bed, yeah, yeah come on, papa, you're sleeping in pink bed.

Speaker 2:

That was funny, yeah but we're back at it and we're continuing in our podcast series Ask Us Anything, and so we've got a great question from one of our listeners about sharing the good news with a friend who doesn't really have any kind of faith or doesn't really seem to be interested in faith, and so you know, I want to read what they wrote.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's read the question and then we'll get into a few things about this, because this is interesting, because this is not very clear cut to me. So this, our last question. I was kind of like this is a duh. Did you hear? One of our comments, one of the comments that somebody said on Facebook, said this is a stupid question because that's what I said too, you said that Right, yeah, right, it's only because given, yeah, it's a given and the question was like you know as you as a parent, do you have the right to look at your kid's phone?

Speaker 1:

And you know again, I'm not trying to belittle the question but again it was just like yeah, you have the right.

Speaker 2:

It was a question from a 12-year-old, Right, it was from a kid, but I felt like it is a pushback.

Speaker 2:

We get from a lot of parents like I don't have the right or I don't want to get mad and so if you didn't have a chance to listen to last week's show, go back and listen to it, because I think it's really important whether you're a parent or a grandparent, because sometimes we are in a weird role and there's a lot of adults who are raising grandchildren or maybe babysitting grandchildren on a regular basis, and so it's really it kind of puts them in a spot.

Speaker 1:

You know that's an interesting thing you just brought up on. I would say that a lot of our grandparents, unless they're in their kids or grandkids life every day, don't really even know how much the saturation level has become of these younger kids, because they're just, they didn't raise their kids in that right and they really wouldn't even know like how often these kids can be hours and hours and hours into the digital world well, they kind of do know and they don't know what to do about it, because it's so foreign right and and so, and we also have some grandparents who are using it as a babysitter, because if they are doing regular babysitting, they're exhausted and they don't know how to entertain kids all day long.

Speaker 1:

If that's a position they're in, yeah Anyway but that's not the question for today.

Speaker 2:

What's the question for today?

Speaker 1:

So it says I have a good friend who is not in tune with any type of faith. We've been friends for 10 years and I want them to develop a relationship with God Jesus. How should I approach this and where?

Speaker 2:

should I begin? Yeah, so it's a good question.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we all have friends, family that maybe do not really claim a faith of any sort or maybe blatantly do right, like maybe they're proclaiming that they're atheists and almost have a proudness to that. So, yeah, let's, we'll get into that have. How about before we do? Because this is going to go a lot of different directions. I just know it, I know it. Let's thank our sponsors. Let's thank casey's outdoor solutions, maxwell construction and the hoosier ice house for being sponsors of the rock solid families podcast. So thanks again for all their support. Also, thanks to all of you that are out there listening and sharing our shows. We greatly appreciate that and as you come into a show that you think could be of value to you or someone else you know, share that or give us a review of some sort. We like to hear those things. Those things just help us get better and better at doing what we do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and we've been getting a lot of calls. This past week while we were gone, we heard that the phone was ringing off the hook about Families Rock, and the next one is July 27th and that's our parenting class that we do monthly at the Lawrenceburg Indiana Firehouse on Tate Street, indiana, in Lawrenceburg Indiana, and it's really a class for parents, maybe their co-parenting or blended family or divorce situations, or you know, it's really one that is important for any parent, regardless if you're together with your spouse or your other parent or not. So, again, that's July 27th, it's from 830 to noon and you can find more information about it on our website rock solid familiesorg. Look for under services um, families rock.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Also, uh, many of you that partner with us. We are having our summer celebration. It's basically a partnership celebration. It's really our way of saying thank you for your support, um that you've been giving us through the time that we've been around for six years now, and so that event is August 1st, so you should have received an email. Hopefully you didn't delete that.

Speaker 2:

And an invitation in the mail and an invitation in the mail.

Speaker 1:

Please RSVP that if you have an intention of coming to our outing that night. It's going to be a lot of fun. Just can't wait to get out there and see everybody and have some good food and some good music.

Speaker 2:

So if you financially support us and you did not receive an email or something in the mail, please contact us. We want you to be there for the celebration. So, hon, let's get back to our question about sharing our faith with a friend. We don't have much background on this question, but it would be helpful if we did, because there's some variables here on this matter, and so there's a couple questions that we want really for you to ponder, because this isn't really just about the listener's question.

Speaker 2:

We all have somebody that we need to share our faith with or don't know how to approach. Approach or they're indifferent about God, and so how do we approach it? And so here are some questions to think about before we really dig into the next step, and one of them is, as a Christian us are we modeling an authentic relationship with God or Jesus ourselves? You know, the most powerful way to share our faith is living it in real time in relationship with our friends.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think where you're going with this, hun, is the idea of are we watching people's actions? Are they watching our actions? So, in James 2, there's the whole passage there, in 14 through 17. And let me just read it, because it talks about like what good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food, if one of you says to them go in peace, keep warm and well-fed, but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it, guys? The same thing here is us.

Speaker 1:

Like you know if we're walking around and we're, you know, wearing the Christian fish, and we've got some bumper sticker on our car and we've got all these things, but we really don't reflect it in just our kindness, our gentleness, our respect of others. Then we really have already lost the battle.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Right, and so I think it's really important that, before you even think about going into the conversation, you really ought to just get into the actions.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and verse 17 in James, chapter two, says in the same way faith by itself, if it's not accompanied by action, is dead. And so are people seeing our faith through our actions, our words, our attitude. And then the second thing is have you prayed for them? Have you prayed and asked God for an open door to share your faith, to share your hope with your friend, asking God for wisdom, asking God for that sensitivity on how to approach it, when to approach it, what to say? We've got to really invite the Holy Spirit into this process. Sometimes we think it's in our own power and our timing and really it's more of God's timing in God's way.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean scripture. Jesus came right out and told his apostles. He said don't worry about what you are to say, I will give you the words, the spirit will give you the words, and I can attest to that, and not that I'm the apostle of any sort, but I can attest because I've shared that before. Like so many times, we're in sessions with a family or with a couple or whatever, and you're just getting ready to just like bang your head on the wall with I don't know where this should go or whatever, and I really do.

Speaker 1:

I reach out in a prayer. Lord, you know you have to help me right now. You've got to give me some direction and it comes and the words come. And so you have to first make sure that your heart is open to the Spirit speaking to you, because sometimes you and your boldness might be all about you, about how much I saved another person today. Look how many stars I have for all the people I brought into the church and versus. You know well, is that really about them coming to Christ or you getting another trophy with them as a trophy?

Speaker 2:

And that reminds me of your Strong Dads podcast with Carl on Pride man if you've not tuned into the Strong Dad podcast and the new guest host you have, Carl Andree. In the last session you, you guys, had your last series um, yours, your episode.

Speaker 1:

I'm having a hard time with words today. You're still sleeping.

Speaker 2:

The episode um on pride. Wow, just so powerful, you know. Is it all about you and your accomplishment or are you just a vessel and allowing God to work? Cause I'll never forget one Christmas I handed out or gave away Bibles to family members as a gift and I just really prayed and I think I even wrote a little note in there, just like just really asking the Holy Spirit just to pierce their hearts.

Speaker 2:

And it was five years later that my brother called me and he was on his way to a morning Bible study before work and he said hey, you know that Bible you gave me, which I mean it was a hard time remembering five years, but he said I picked it up off the shelf and brought it with me and so it's like wow, five years later, and I just had a trust that I prayed for him and I prayed for the opportunity, and God is the one that gets the increase.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Hunter, something else that I think there's a vague phrase that was used here in this question said you know, are they not in tune with any faith? Well, I don't know what that really means.

Speaker 2:

And so.

Speaker 1:

I think there's a question here, before you just boldly go out and start speaking all of this stuff about God and Jesus and everything, of really assessing where this person might be, you know so many people. Some come from virtually no understanding, no background, but many, many, many that we deal with come with a broken background, a hurt background, where somebody did them wrong, or a church did them wrong, or even a priest or preacher did them wrong in their eyes, and so you know, I think it's important to really figure out what this in tune means, and where did it come sort of out of tune?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so a little bit of probing, I think goes a long way.

Speaker 2:

Well, tell me, you know like what did you grow?

Speaker 1:

up with or what do you believe, or just randomly, having some of that casual conversation really helps you learn to land in a better way with them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we do that on our intake form with folks walking our door every day. You know it's one of the questions we ask, and have you ever asked your friend? You know, do you have any kind of faith background growing up? What has been your experience, like you said it could be?

Speaker 2:

a really bad taste in their mouth, which is why they're so against it or they don't even want to bring it up. You know, if they say they have no faith, it's because that they're unsure, like they're ignorant about it. No one's ever been willing to share, because that's the sadness around us, is that it's it's literally people within our reach, within our circle of influence, that we really never been bold enough to share and they're just waiting, they're just kind of nothing, because they don't know what else is out there. And maybe, if there's hurt and pain underneath and maybe you can get to that, healing old wounds can bring back the desire to know and pursue God. Or sometimes it can be the vice versa Knowing or pursuing God can bring back the desire to know and pursue God, or sometimes it can be the vice versa Knowing or pursuing God can bring healing Right. Often they go hand in hand.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think of Proverbs, in Proverbs 12, 17, it talks about the idea of the words of reckless can pierce like swords.

Speaker 1:

And I think sometimes us who maybe go to church or we think we know a little bit that we and I have been guilty of this with family and with friends where you flippantly say, like well, I guess they're going to hell or you know, and I think the intention might not be harsh, but the way it's received by somebody else like maybe I was just joking, but if they don't take it as a joke, it could come off as a wound and that wasn't the intention. So you have to be really careful and one way to do that is to put your toe in the water a little bit and find out what they're about.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, proverbs 12, 18 says the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise bring healing. The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise bring healing. So it's really about asking God for that wisdom and discernment as to what to speak, when to speak, if to speak. And so one of the most powerful questions hon ever asked to me professionally was by one of our senior ministers that I was on staff with Jeff Stone and I'm just going to shout out to Jeff. He asked all of us around the conference table one day and he asked us on a regular basis this who are your top 10? Who are you praying for and who are you in relationship with that need to know Jesus Christ? And, hun, I remember very vividly where I was even sitting in that conference room, I didn't have a top 10 list. Everyone I knew.

Speaker 2:

I was embarrassed to say that everyone I knew were believers. Like there was no one I had in my relationships that I was actively engaging with that was unbelievers. And I'm not saying you should always hang around with unbelievers, but I'm saying it's sad if there's no one that I am in relationship with that I am, that I'm actively evangelizing or, you know, just sharing the faith with. So it could be your hairdresser, it could be your neighbor, it could be, you know, parents on your son's ball team, it could be your server at your local family restaurant, you know. And so I just got to give out a shout to Jeff Stone, because he, would he never forget, forgot a name and he never passed up an opportunity to either invite someone to church or to share his faith, to ask those questions about their background, and so that was just so convicting for me to really get out of the church walls and move into really the world of how can I love people to Christ?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this brings up a whole thought process in my mind that prior to us coming into the Christian faith that we are now, which we would consider evangelical, non-denominational faith that we're in, you know we grew up Catholic and we have lots of Catholic brothers and sisters now and all that too, but our Catholic faith was very private. You know, we hung around our family and our friends, but you never went out and shared the faith.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And that's why evangelism was really weird, right, like when we first started coming into it. It was very weird. I mean, honestly, like we used to say, those people are Bible thumpers, right, and so it was almost something that we grew up with, like, don't be like them. And it's been a hard conversion for me to go from the privacy of well everyone should just keep their faith to themselves.

Speaker 1:

right, you never talk about politics or religion and to say no, like the Great Commission says we are to go out and so yeah, I'm not using that as an excuse because I know it's one of these things that I've got to get bolder and bolder with. But I will say like there's a lot of people that carry their faith or or lack of right Really close to their, their chest. They play those cards tight and it's hard because you feel like you're getting almost into their private room yeah. What do you wait? What are you doing in?

Speaker 2:

this room of my house. But hon, you and I both grew up in very German Catholic communities where everybody in our neighborhood went to our church.

Speaker 2:

It was assumed, and believed the same thing, and so there really wasn't anybody that challenged me or asked me why do you believe what you believe? And so I never really had to work out my faith with fear and trembling. It says that we're supposed to know why we believe what we believe, and 1 Peter 3.15 says always be ready to give a reason for the hope that you have, and so I wasn't prepared for that, and so the question for you and all of our listeners is this Do you have a friend who doesn't know the Lord, and is there someone in your circle of influence that you want to share your faith with, but you don't feel confident or comfortable enough to have that conversation? Or do you have a friend whom you have no idea where they stand on faith? It's not even, like you said, politics and religion.

Speaker 2:

You don't bring it up, you don't talk about it. But, man, if you have a friend who's been a friend, like this listener, 10 years and that's never been a conversation and a topic you've broached, why Is it because of your fear? Is it because they're standoffish with it? Maybe they have made it very clear they don't wanna talk about it, and so you know. I just wonder if the Holy Spirit is laying someone on your heart as you're listening to this show, who doesn't know the Lord, and maybe it's for such a time as this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's good stuff and that's a good challenge. I would say it's important that before you get into all the sharing of faith we talk about this all the time, even with parenting and everything else establish a relative friendship first, like a relative level of friendship. They don't have to be your best friend ever, but established, because with friendship comes trust. And if the person thinks that they, you know, hey, you've had their back, they've had your back. There's a little bit of give and take back and forth. So the idea first is that you, the friendship to you means something and to them it means something and it's kind of like you, you earn the right now to speak into their heart. And so you know, before you get all eager about just going up there and saying I want to spread the good news, you really want to go out further and build the relationship first so that they can go hey, I'm attaching my, my cart to this horse. That.

Speaker 2:

I believe in. Yeah Um, we use the phrase a lot rules without relationship equal rebellion. So if you lay down the law of the Lord and say this is what God says and you're going to hell, right, or you're breaking his commandments, but you don't have any relationship with that person, then it's just going to cause rebellion and probably a loss of the friendship because they're going to be like you're just trying to convert me or you're just trying to, you're judging me. And so if we don't have that relationship first, and, as you said earlier, if you don't know where they're coming from, if you have no idea of why they believe what they believe or don't believe, if there is some underlying hurt man, you can trigger that. You might be stepping on a landmine if you don't know the story behind the story. So take the time and ask some open-ended questions and find out a little bit more. So, like, help me understand, right? So we're going to give you some practical questions to ask here in a second.

Speaker 1:

Well, the first one I want to ask, though hun is not necessarily an open-ended question, it's kind of a yes or no, but I'll say that I got this from the great Frank Henninger. Frank, once again you're on our show when Frank just has a lead-in question and says, hey, where do you go to church?

Speaker 2:

Right, and almost sometimes it's an assumption, like hey, where do you go to church when they may, in fact, not even go to church?

Speaker 1:

I'm not a church going kind of person, but what it does is it'll either give you a bold I don't go to church or you know but it'll open the door to allow that person to walk through it at the level they want to go through. They might say, no, I don't go to church, but that really helps you assess where they're at. So I think that's not really an open-ended question, as much as it allows you to know where their foot is from the very get-go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and not just the verbal, what they say, but how they say it Like. Sometimes you can get a reaction. You're like, ooh, I just hit a nerve.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Or they can kind of just give you this long explanation of how their grandma was Baptist and they used to go when they were little, and you know. So basically that means they don't really do anything now, you know.

Speaker 1:

Well, we have the one of our questions on our intake is you know where do you go to church or what is your faith background? And I mean many of them say don't want to go there, or keep this off the table.

Speaker 2:

you know that kind of thing, so you know, right off the bat, All right.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yeah. So here's the next steps. If you are ready to have that conversation, if you feel like that, no distractions. You don't want to do this when there's a lot of people around. You don't want to do this when the kids are bugging them or they're under stress. You know, maybe in a high, stressful work situation you want to take, maybe take them out to lunch, go get coffee. Maybe it's your walking partner in your neighborhood. You know something that you know just kind of creates the space where it's safe.

Speaker 1:

Take them for a long walk. I mean a really long walk.

Speaker 2:

Maybe high mountains. We've got 20 miles in today. We're going to have some talk. I couldn't resist. I'm sorry. Now you want to talk, breaking you down. Couldn't resist. Anyway, pick a good time.

Speaker 1:

That is going to favor a good conversation. Now you want to talk, breaking you down.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, pick a good time. That is going to favor a good conversation. So that's the first thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think also. Then some questions are hard for people, so you have to be careful, like to come straight up and say what happens to you after you die. I would hold back on those kinds of questions, all right, but instead, as they're talking a little bit about their faith experience, just make sure that you're not preloaded with all of your responses. Sometimes I think, when we get into this evangelism thing, we have our little script of things that we're going to run right through in our head so that we can somehow win the argument or win them to Christ, when in fact, we're really just needing to just hear them speak. So, really so.

Speaker 1:

When you were little, you said this happened, or so, somewhat paraphrasing, re-parodying what they're saying, just so that they know that you're actually listening. And you know, way too often we already have the words in our mouth before they finish their statement, which is a good sign that my heart's not in this for the right reasons. It's more about me trying to get my word across, and so just listen to them as to where they're at and bring back points of clarification by repeating what they've said in your own words, so that you can go okay, yeah, I get it. I get what you're saying now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think uh no, before you even ask any questions, I want to, I want to not skip a step, and that is to start with the conversation by acknowledging how important their friendship is, how special they are.

Speaker 2:

You know, in the um last show with you and Carl, you guys both had this really awkward moment of just saying to each other how important you are in each other's lives.

Speaker 2:

But I think it's important because then whatever's spoken next is out of love, right, it's out of respect for you, it's because I care about you it's not like I'm there to judge or condemn you and so I think that you got to start with that as that kind of set the stage of where you see this relationship, and then ask them some open-ended questions like hey, I've kind of noticed that we don't talk a whole lot about faith, and so I'm just really curious as to tell me a little bit more, like tell me what your experience has been. Okay, and if it's nothing, then they're probably a more of a blank slate for you to share your faith and to really the hope that you have. If there is something there, then you're going to get to the core of where this really is coming from, and that's probably a wound that hasn't healed right, or a betrayal that they haven't forgiven that person for or maybe blaming God for, and so that really would help you to know, kind of, how to even direct the next questions.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. One thing, especially when I'm thinking about this with people who maybe have had some rocky past with faith or church or what have you, pretty much most of us can say we can relate at some level right. Whether you've been a cradle Christian or whatever it's been, we've all had bumps in the road right and so, rather than coming off with well, let me share my faith experience and how great it is and how perfect and everything to actually say you know, gosh.

Speaker 1:

I understand what you're saying there, like when I was younger, this was one of my struggles, and so that right away, they feel like they're on equal ground with you and that there's an understanding.

Speaker 1:

And then you know like, well, and then here's kind of the here's, here's how I had to approach it. You know, I don't know how necessarily you're going to approach it. I'm not going to give advice as much as, like, I got to this, this roadblock in my faith, and this is just what where I had to come to Right. So kind of sharing your own struggle I think is helpful. I, we do that all the time in our own work.

Speaker 1:

Like well, you know, we were 32 years old and this is where we were you know, and so I think it allows people to understand that this is not about reaching a level of perfection and you can't get into the club until you hit this perfect number, right? Yeah, it's a matter of sharing an experience and then how you work through that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so what I hear you say hon is that you offer. Wait there you go.

Speaker 1:

You're using that counseling thing back on me.

Speaker 2:

So what I hear you say is you offer this empathy and understanding and things like wow, I can't imagine how that would make you feel, or I'm so sorry that happened to you, or you know that had to be so hard for you. So basically, you're offering them a validation that what they're experiencing is real and understandable and relatable, and so that really just does it kind of softens the next conversation, because they feel heard, they feel understood, they feel validated.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you know. The next point, I think, is understanding that there are going to be differences. There are going to be differences in people's experiences and then even, ultimately, where they are wanting to come to. You know, there are people that aren't going to just immediately jump on board. You say, well, I'm sharing the good news. Why shouldn't they just want to buy all of it? But the idea is they don't necessarily buy that it's good news.

Speaker 1:

In other words there's a difference in their understanding and so respect the level of difference that's there and understanding the idea that we are all in a different place in our faith walk and so for us to demand and expect that somebody is right where I am is really kind of ridiculous and it's arrogant. So the idea of like, hey, I get where you are, whether we talk about infant Christians and we talk about mature Christians, just take them where they are. I also say to respect the different faith differences. Right, if maybe you came from one particular faith background and maybe you're talking to somebody who has a different taste of a different you know, this is not the time to admonish them for oh well, see, that's why we don't do that. Like that's just not the time to do that, because right away the judgmental part over supersedes any good news you have.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that is so true, hon. It shuts them down so fast when they feel like you're criticizing or condemning their beliefs or their opinion and so you're just planting seeds right.

Speaker 2:

And honestly, I have had and you and I have both had times where we have spoken to people and they kind of rejected it or walked away, times where we have spoken to people and they kind of rejected it or walked away, and then years and years and years later they come back and say, wow, what you said, and you're like don't even remember what you said, but it was impactful for them and so it's not a one and done. Okay, this is just as this is the journey. And remember, it's okay to disagree. Focus on the friendship and the understanding and not necessarily the conversion. And just you know you can offer resources. If your friend is interested in learning more, you know, offer to share a book or a website or invite them to church. You know if they seem receptive to it and if they don't, don't try to shove it down their throat you know, they'll come when they're ready.

Speaker 2:

At least they know they're invited.

Speaker 1:

All right, so let's let's kind of start to close things down. The idea here is you know, you've got this friend, um, they are, uh, maybe, uh, coming into a journey of faith or potentially, and so the idea here is recognizing that, as you use the phrase before, and this is about planting seeds- this is not about you're going to start your 20 mile walking at the end of the 20 miles You're going to have a full blown garden.

Speaker 1:

It's about planting the seeds. It's a process, and so, if you get that in your mind, that is not a rush. God does everything in his time Right, and people's heart will be convicted on their time as well. So this is not about us being in control. So just think about planting the seeds and go from there.

Speaker 2:

Paul says it best in 1 Corinthians 3, 5, and 6, what, after all, is Apollos and what is Paul? Only servants through whom you came to believe. As the Lord had assigned to each his task, I planted the seeds this was Paul speaking. Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow, and so you know, I know you have experienced this too. We said before hon, you know, and so we've got to.

Speaker 2:

We may never see the fruit of the words that we share or the seeds that we planted, but we trust in God, and so your friend may not be ready to hear your message now. Be patient and trust not your timing, but God's, yeah yeah, I think maybe there's a little caveat here.

Speaker 1:

As we talk about reaching out to others, you also always have to protect yourself. Yeah, you know, there are strong personalities out there.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And there are days when you may be weak, whether you're just having a difficult time in your faith or your walk in your life, and so you want to be really just making sure that you're strong in who you are, in your faith, and when you're out there and you're professing and trying to help plant seeds and bring people along, that you don't get sucked into something that maybe you shouldn't. So you know, you see this happening where people they drift away in their own faith and the next thing you know, like we've had hon, we've had people that shared their faith with us while we were young and now they don't even attend a church or even proclaim really Christianity.

Speaker 1:

And so again listen, we're all in our own place, but we always have to keep working on our own faith as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So if your friendship ever, ever, requires you to compromise your morals and values, then it's not a friendship God wants you in, and so you may have to step back and love them and pray for them in a distance. You know, hon, I especially think about people who you want to be in relationship, romantically or maybe business-wise. The Bible is very clear on this. 2 Corinthians 6, 1 through 4 says Do not be yoked together with unbelievers, for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common, or what does fellowship can have with darkness? So remember we worship the Savior of the world, and his name is Jesus. It's not you.

Speaker 2:

And so if you're openly sharing your faith and your friend continuously rejects the good news and then is tempting you to go against your personal faith and beliefs, it may be time to dust your feet off and move on and pray for them at a distance.

Speaker 1:

All right. So, guys, hopefully some of this was helpful to you. Hopefully, you know, you got little nuggets of it that made some sense. We all can share a similar experience or story where we have a friend who's not quite in the faith, but maybe they're asking some questions, maybe there's a level of curiosity, and so hopefully, the idea of you just starting with building that friendship and then start planting those seeds, that it makes some sense to you. Okay, yeah, so at the end of the day, we are called to do this.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes those are tough conversations, though, right, but if it's too difficult, chances are you're the one trying to drive it rather than the Holy Spirit. And so let the Spirit. Each of us comes with gifts, right, we all come with gifts, and some of us have the gift of evangelism. And man, I mean, those people just are amazing. We look up to those people with the idea wow, that's pretty cool, that's a boldness, but maybe that's not necessarily your gift. It doesn't mean you don't evangelize, but maybe you do it more through your actions, through your service, through how you use your other gifts.

Speaker 2:

You know, I think back on the Strong Deck episode with you and Carl, carl shared something that he said he had struggled with for 30-something years and he said it was probably the first time he's ever talked about it publicly. You know, and I think about that, have you ever been bold enough to share your faith journey with the Lord? Because I believe our own personal testimony is one of the most powerful tools that God uses to bring others to Christ. It can be so much more attractive and much less intimidating than opening up a Bible, as you said and pounding someone over the head.

Speaker 2:

So I think that's where so many people get stuck, where they don't know where to start. And so you know, just share your story. Share what God has done in your life. Tell them how big of a train wreck you were and what God has done there. Work in progress, Exactly.

Speaker 1:

All right, we want to close out our show. We want to thank you guys again for listening to Rock Solid Families Podcast. We want to thank our sponsors again Maxwell Construction, casey's Outdoor Solutions and the Hoosier Ice House. So, once again, do us a favor, subscribe to our channel, give us a thumbs up right, give us that five-star rating. We greatly appreciate that. And, hey, if there's anything that we can do to help you whether it's a faith issue or whether it's a marital addiction, any kind of difficulty that you're having please reach out to us. You can get us at 812-576-7625. You could always go to our website, rocksolidfamiliesorg, and just check out what we've got going on with all of the different things in our newsletter and so on. So thanks a lot for continuing to listen and just be part of the Rock Solid Family family.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, a family, family. So yes, thank you so much for listening to the Rock Solid Families podcast. Building a stronger community, one family at a time.

Speaker 1:

Make it a great day rock solid families wants to thank casey's outdoor solutions for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. Casey's has grown to be one of the largest and most unique garden centers and gift shops in the cincinnati tri-state area. Whether you are looking to take on that next landscape project or simply add a little home decor to your house, casey's has you covered. Located at 21481 State Line Road, lawrenceburg, indiana, call them today at 812-537-3800. Let Casey's help you add beauty to your home. Rock solid families wants to thank maxwell construction for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. For over 30 years, maxwell construction has been a leader in turning dreams into realities building schools, banks, restaurants and many other commercial and public facilities. Maxwell Construction has made it their priority to not just build buildings but to build into their community. So if you have any construction needs, call them at 812-537-2200.

Speaker 2:

Rock Solid Families would like to thank Hoosier Ice House for being a proud sponsor of the Rock Solid Families podcast. In the heart of historic Lawrenceburg, Indiana, the Ice House is at the corner of Vine and High Streets. The historic building evokes a feeling of comfort, with spacious indoor and outdoor dining, a large bar and comfortable dining areas Large enough to host parties, yet intimate enough to feel like your favorite neighborhood restaurant. So thank you again for the Hoosier Ice House for sponsoring the Rock Solid Families podcast.

Sharing Faith With Indifferent Friends
The Power of Actions and Prayer
Fostering Relationships for Sharing Faith
Building Relationships for Faith Discussions
Empathy and Understanding in Evangelism
Navigating Faith Conversations With Friends
Supporting Local Businesses for Community Growth