Rock Solid Families
Rock Solid Families
The Death of Civility - Ep 304
Matthew 12:25 But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.
True wisdom is timeless. Whether it was the time of Christ walking the earth or today, the wisdom holds true. Short of the civil war era, our country has not experienced such divide. Politics, religion, economics, education, and journalism just to name a few, have driven a great wedge between us. One of the many results we are witnessing is the sheer lack of civility towards each other.
Whether we agree or disagree with each other's ideas, as Christians we are all called to treat each other with respect. Many believe they only need to treat others with respect when they are earning respect. This is not of the Bible. The Bible tells us we are to respect all individuals. Every person has equal value and worth in the eyes of God. For us to disrespect a person places us in a position of judgement against them. We are not called to judge the person.
On the other hand, we are not being asked to respect the actions of others. This is where we get confused. We don't like the behavior or actions of someone and we immediately place them as something less than us as a person. This is a dangerous thing for us to not understand. We have all heard the phrase, 'love the sinner, hate the sin', this is what this idea is about.
Several years ago a popular slogan began its way around the country. On its surface it seemed to be innocent and even make sense. The reality is that it has backfired. "Celebrate Diversity". This slogan has not brought us together but driven us apart. The slogan we must get back to is grounded in who we are as humans. "Celebrate Similarity, Respect Diversity".
When you hear name calling and assault on entire sectors of people, your radar should go off. This is not the person you want to be following. This person is simply not being civil or respectful to others. It doesn't matter their political view, if they are disrespectful, beware!
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Welcome to the Rock Solid Families podcast. I'm Linda Hutchinson here with my man Merle. How are you, babe?
Speaker 2:I'm doing pretty good, a whole lot better than people I've been seeing on Facebook lately.
Speaker 1:What do you mean by that?
Speaker 2:Well, as we are recording this, we're just a day or so after the great debate.
Speaker 1:I heard somebody say that self-care would be not watching the debate. Right Good, self-care would be not watching the debate.
Speaker 2:Right, good self-care, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so in case you are tuning in late in your life about, like, if this happens to be 2025 or something, then you'll know what the results are yeah, we are.
Speaker 2:I don't know what are we like 55 days or something from the election, and so we had our presidential debate between kamala harris. Am I saying that right is kamala kamala? I've heard it like five different ways yeah, I think trump says it wrong intentionally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, and we don't even know, and donald trump and we don't even know if this is the last one, so if you're watching this in the archives, maybe you know. Do they have another one? Are they gonna get back together? This is the first time they've met you sound like they're dating.
Speaker 2:Are they going to get back together?
Speaker 1:it didn't sound right, did it. But yeah, it is pretty scary when you consider that these are adults acting this way and this is what we're, you know. I don't even remember how many million of people. They said 90 million people or something that tuned in.
Speaker 1:It was pretty good size and so you know what are we next generation? You know common sense and the Bible are pretty clear on this topic, right about how we should treat one another, and so that's really our topic today is really where is civility? You know the death of civility. We're not really going to get into the political realm as far as like who should you vote for? But we're talking about what does God call us to do? How does he want us to show up in elections, in debates, in life, in conversation, in conflict, and so I think that he's got some opinions on that. God does.
Speaker 2:And there's a trickle-down effect too. You know, because you got the debate and you got. You know the just rudeness of that um you know the the just rudeness of that, um, and then the next day on facebook and I'm just using that as just one of the platforms, one many, but there are many, and people are just disturbed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they're disturbed, and what I mean by that is like they get back into the same lack of civility. Oh yeah, anybody whorees with them, they're instantly just chastising and the name calling just ripples right down through them and you're like you know, at the end of the day, this is uh. Scripture is very, very clear on this as to what ultimately will happen, and that is you know. Matthew 25 or 12 is just one example. Matthew 12, 25 is just knowing their thoughts. Jesus said to them every kingdom divided against itself, is laid waste.
Speaker 2:No city or house divided against itself will stand, and you know, that's just plain and simple. Like we have to find common ground, we have to find some commonality and gone is that. Right now it's me against you kind of thing and I don't know like we're going to get into that part.
Speaker 1:but we're also going to talk about what is this doing to our kids right because that's so much of our work is next generation work and part of the reason why we're doing this show is we feel powerless at times when we see something displayed that disturbs us or we don't agree with, and so we're going to tell you what are some practical biblical responses for us as Christ followers and how he wants us to show up and respond to really division and ugly and things like that.
Speaker 2:But before we do, I know, you want to do sponsors, but I got to tell a story before I forget. Story, what kind of story. You and I went for a walk the other night.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We went for a walk and part of where we walk you got to be on kind of a main state route for a little bit and we're just it's later evening, yeah. We're relaxing chatting, we're just talking. We're like minding our own business. And this guy comes by in a truck, so we're walking into him right. So he's facing us and out where we live it is very common for someone to wave at you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially guys in trucks, like you know.
Speaker 2:Good boy right, yeah, and so you kind of give it back, and that's good, good stuff. This guy, he waved, all right, he waved with the middle bird finger and I I kind of looked up and I just was like and I I literally just went like I got nothing for you, buddy, like I don't even know where this is from yeah, I didn't see, so he flipped us off, yeah um. You didn't know him, I did not know him you know you didn't like.
Speaker 1:It wasn't like.
Speaker 2:You were in the middle of the road, like taking up a space and I'm like, yeah, we got a civility problem here you know, and so like that's the kind of stuff like I don't know who peed in his Wheaties earlier in the day, but you're like, wow, now it could have just been a joke, right it Like I can laugh as well as the next guy at that, but it's just like is you could have been silly and acted like a clown to be a joke, okay, so let's think about this, because it could be the fact that you are a teacher in the school system for 32 years.
Speaker 1:Okay, trying to get revenge, I'm just saying it could have been an old student. It could have been one of your parents that realized that that was you and man, they had some they have some bone to pick with you. I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they didn't know who I was coming up at 50 miles an hour.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to give details, but I was with somebody just today and we ran into a couple people that I knew.
Speaker 2:Two out of the three people I knew.
Speaker 1:Now the person I was with did not know any of them, so I kind of said hi and I introduced them and I you could feel the coldness in one of the two. The other one was like oh my gosh. The other person was like whoa, you could tell that girl still has a bone to pick with you.
Speaker 2:With me?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, it was me, but I'm telling you this was somebody that did not agree with a decision that was made in our church, probably 10, 15 years ago, and she still, you could see, I mean, she wouldn't give me eye contact, she wouldn't give me the time of day. It was almost like I rudely interrupted her and that I was bothering her and, man, it was like cold shoulder. So we're talking about the death of civility, and what do we do about that as christ followers? How do we respond?
Speaker 2:so, but before we do now we can we talk about our sponsors we want to thank maxwell construction casey's outdoor solutions and the who's your eyes house for being sponsors of the rock solid family podcast.
Speaker 2:Um, guys, we hope you appreciate the messages that we get out. Um, most of our messages come from what we actually are walking through or experiencing kind of in real time in our office, and so they're not things that we just made up out of a book or something like that. So we just want you to hopefully they hit home with you and, as we always ask, share the shows. If they're of value to somebody else that you would think benefit, please share.
Speaker 1:So part of our work is working with parents and families, and even ones that are going through divorce, and so we do a monthly class. Some of them, people are court ordered maybe co-parenting situations through the Dearborn County Courts, and so we're not having a class in September. So the next one would be the fourth Saturday in October, which is October 26. But, how I bring that up? Because we teach civility in that class.
Speaker 1:We teach about how, okay, you may have had ugly divorce and you may not agree with their parenting style, but, man, for the good of your child, could we come on some common ground of values and goals that you want to initiate or to see in your child, and so can we work on that? You know, and we have found that the people who come are thankful because it's like they're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Like they're carrying this resentment and this anger and this unforgiveness and it's eating them up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's no progress made right Like we will have people. It's been this way for well. There's no progress made right like we will have people.
Speaker 1:It's been this way for the last 11 years, for the last 10 years, and you're like how's that working for? Yeah, like, aren't you?
Speaker 2:exhausted. I'm exhausted in the first five minutes of it. So, guys, I mean some of this we're going to do just quick little review, like um, there are key words that are important to having in any relationship and and these words, the value of them or the meaning of them. They have fallen either out of favor, like some people, oh yeah, like that's back in the Andy Griffith days or something you know. But it's like there's something to them and when you don't have them, you get to see what we're getting to see.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I mean, these are words like respect, Okay.
Speaker 1:I want to stop on that word, because there are so many people out there even Christ followers who are, say that respect is only deserved and earned.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:God is very clear on that that you are honor one another out of reverence for Christ. Like he's saying, it's not about that person and what they're doing or what they've done. It's about who you are and how you show up to that conversation. And so unconditional respect is similar to unconditional love. God gave us both to us and he's asking that from us. And so that is. You don't have to agree, you don't have to trust them, you don't have to be in relationship with them. But, man, when you show up into a conversation or just meet somebody on the street or drive past them, we're asking you God's calling us to respect one another.
Speaker 2:And I know this is what you're saying, but let's also clarify this you know, unconditional love means you can love somebody, but you don't always like them, or?
Speaker 1:you don't like a behavior or action of theirs right, unconditional respect.
Speaker 2:You respect them. It doesn't mean you respect every decision or action they make right.
Speaker 2:And so you separate the person, the sin from the sinner, right, you've got to separate that. So to your point. Unconditional respect is the idea that that person is of equal value as a human to God as you are, no better, no worse, and so that's that whole idea. It is so hard for us to separate in this political world. It's so hard to separate the idea that I could be a Democrat or a Republican and have a slightly different thought than someone else, even if they're a murderer, even if you think what they're doing is morally wrong, god is saying I still love them.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And I still want them in relationship with me, and so when we don't show up that way, when we don't present that way, we are really a hypocrite and we really do more damage to the gospel and the good news of Christ than good.
Speaker 2:So keep that then, then good so you know I, and again, like I see all this stuff where they, uh people, will project one person is devil and one person is an angel. And I'm like you know the devil, I'm making the assumption there that they think that person's going to hell or whatever. And I'm like who are you Right that? What a judgment to make on somebody. And so we just need to be careful, like let's have some civil discourse right when let's disagree on the topic of policy, the action or whatever. But this other stuff is just insanity. And here's kind of the scary part on so much of this. The true enemies out there Satan, maybe even internationally right Like other countries they love this, they love this, they love this.
Speaker 2:You know, the best way to beat another team is to get the team to fight amongst themselves, yeah, and they lose their focus, and that's exactly what we are falling for as a nation. And if you don't come to grips with this and understand well, we have commonality here, we've got to, you know, bring that and we're going to talk about.
Speaker 1:You know what that looks like? Yeah, manners, you know, being polite.
Speaker 2:All overrated.
Speaker 1:I still think that if we teach that and we show that and model that for our kids, we have a much better world and much better home than just that thatstabbing and you know, in fighting that we have.
Speaker 2:I had, um, so gosh, I don't even know how old she is. She's probably. I don't want to be, I don't want to say the wrong thing. She's in her upper 40s. I can safely say she was a student of mine, okay, and I have to meet with her concerning a insurance thing with my dad, and she was a student of mine.
Speaker 1:She's still calling you, mr Hutchinson.
Speaker 2:Well, she stopped she stopped in the middle of our conversation. She goes. I just have to clear this up. Do I call you Merle or Mr Hutchinson? And I just said hey, I'm no longer your teacher At this point. You can drop the Mr. But that was brought into her, right she was raised that way. And here she is, Her kids are grown and everything and she still feels the respect to use that, mister. And I mean that was just. It was kind of cool and refreshing.
Speaker 1:Well, and it goes with another word that we want to talk about, and that is authority. You will always have someone in authority over you, and life period, I mean. And if you keep fighting that and and pushing against that with disrespect and ill-mannered, you're going to find yourself miserable in life. You know, you're going to find yourself in jail or overdose or whatever. And so my point is is that teach your children and for you to understand what authority looks like, and that's a perfect example. I still struggle with my parents friends calling them by their first name, because they always have looked at an authority over me or you know, I want to respect them and so it is. It's ingrained in us but it's lost today, like when you have a child calling their mom and dad by their first name. Ooh, we're not showing authority and respect and, if you allow it, then you're kind of teaching this discord.
Speaker 2:And I mean if we call ourself Christian. The entire Christian faith is based on the idea that there is one and only one authority yeah. And so one of the reasons why it is so important for us to teach authority levels and hierarchy of power, so to speak, is so that we learn to practice it.
Speaker 2:So that when we know we're in the presence of somebody that we are relatively familiar and comfortable with the idea of submitting to their authority. And so how in the world could you never, ever, ever practice respecting an authority and then think you're going to respect Christ? It's a practice sort of thing. So again another idea there how about some of the things that we see? Here's some terms that we're seeing a lot of. In the last probably five years, you and I have heard this in our practice more than all of the years prior Narcissism, I mean, think about that and how that word comes up all the time.
Speaker 1:Everybody's a narcissist, everybody's a narcissist. Oh, you don't know my husband. You don't know my dad. He was a narcissist.
Speaker 2:And again, like you know, we all have levels of narcissism, and that's another way of saying that is we're selfish. Yeah, all have levels of narcissism, and that's another way of saying that is we're selfish. Right and so, but it is definitely almost a badge of honor with the, with many of us now, that no one's going to tell me that I can't get what I want right, and so that's definitely something we see more of these days, and the opposite of that would have be having empathy and humility.
Speaker 1:So we put ourselves in someone else's shoes and looking through their eyes, you know, and that brings civility, which is another one of these words that we've lost today. You know, really, people will say, oh, that's just who I am. No, that's how you're showing up and that's what you're choosing to do. And so civility is practicing the fact that if I'm going to treat you with respect and kindness and you know my mouth, I'm going to keep in check, which I don't always do the greatest job of. But you know, the Bible says to out of the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks, and so when we spew this yucky, it's inside us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how about? Here's another one that I think this word's been. It took on a different direction, the word pride. We used to have pride in our team, pride in our school, pride in our country, and so these are all pride factors based off of people, what it represented and the people who came before. Because we all stand on the shoulders of somebody right, we all stand on the shoulders, and so I go to this school and so this school is great because of all the many people that came before it and made it great, right and so. But now it's not that kind of pride so much now it's self pride.
Speaker 1:I am great.
Speaker 2:Look what I did. I accomplished this.
Speaker 1:I am great at this, and, to the point where you know, everybody wants to be celebrated with all their trophies up on the mantle saying look what I did yeah, and so I believe hon we need to go into some advice, of like recommendations, of how do we get rid of this, how do we move past this, how do we show our kids right that there is an ultimate authority that we do need to treat people with kindness and respect and you know, you mentioned number one being misguided authority, that no one's going to be the boss of me. And, honestly, that is the very first step in the 12-step program when you're trying to break pride or anger, addiction or alcoholism. It is literally like surrendering, like I am powerless.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I am not the ultimate authority of my life. There is an ultimate authority and I'm going to claim it for me as a Christian Christ, but man, this misguided authority can get us into a world of trouble.
Speaker 2:And the key is they're misguided because there's not going to be a lack of authority, it'll be misguided. In other words, you put yourself on the pedestal. And so this is again when we hear people say, well, my God would never do that. And when you hear those phrases, you recognize that they start creating their own picture of God or my truth.
Speaker 1:So here we go. If you're a parent, okay, please, please, align yourself with healthy authority in your child's life. So please don't bad mouth the coach, the teachers, don't undermine your spouse, the police the police, all of those things. The principal if you're bad mouthing them or you're, you know, stabbing them in the back, then you're teaching your child this, this lack of civility and this disrespect and discord that is just going to destroy your home and your family.
Speaker 2:This does not mean that there can't be bad teachers, bad police officers or bad other people, right, and so when we do recognize that somebody is out of line, then we go after that particular With civility. Right, we go after that issue of that particular person versus like all and all of the police are bad or all of the teachers are bad, because this is where we really get that jaded view and we started to get two sides us against them.
Speaker 1:And then we spew it on social media right, so we can kind of this gang effect of trying to get everybody on our side right and this anarchy of we're going to go and storm the Capitol, or we're going to go rob the school, or you know we're gonna go and storm the capital, or we're gonna go rob the school, or you know we're just gonna show up and show them and wow, please stop.
Speaker 1:This is not helping our nation, our families, our communities, our schools, our churches. It's not helping our kids, guys. That's not helping. That's our point, like we are as as american as we can be like.
Speaker 2:We love this country, but we also, lynn and I, the work that we do. We always say everything we do is generational and so saving this country is is not by being uncivil right. It's like what are the? Of all countries? This country has more opportunities in place to do things well, to change policy to change law to get people elected. We have more opportunity to do that, and so those are the routes that we take, versus some of the things that we've done.
Speaker 1:You know, and I'm just going to speak to this because there was a righteous anger in the Bible. I mean, jesus turned the tables in the temple when he saw them kind of disrespecting his place, and my point is, though, that God handled it. Jesus handled it in a way that still honored the Lord, honored God, and so we're asking you if you have a righteous anger, if someone has been molested or abused or mistreated or lied to, or whatever, I'm not saying you can't be angry about that, but I'm saying handle it in the right way, so you show up and don't do more damage than good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, another thing, guys, we have to be careful of and we'll talk about this as we move on lacking common values. You know, like I don't want the school to be the teacher of our family values, I want the school to reinforce values that we believe are important in our home, but we have to have those together. Now, if you're going to bring a society together, the more common the values are, the more you're going to gel and things are going to work together. So I've said this before in shows, and I contend that this has been disastrous. Celebrate diversity has been disastrous. We should celebrate similarity and we should respect diversity, and so we have to look at black, white, yellow, red, it doesn't matter All of us together. There are so many common things. We're trying to raise kids, we're trying to put food on the table, we're trying to do things well. That's what we have in common with our brothers, right, not skin color.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I will say that we've seen a lot of families and parents who have said, okay, well, the school is not reinforcing the values in our home. And maybe it is things that are important to you and so you say, okay, then we're going to pull our kids out and we're going to homeschool them.
Speaker 1:Okay. You say okay, then we're going to pull our kids out and we're going to homeschool them, okay, but still civility, okay, you don't throw the school under the bus because they disagree with you or because they're limited in what they can share or do. But it still is important that we agree to disagree in a civil manner and respectful way.
Speaker 2:So when we talk about what motivates some of this lack of civility and you know, one of the underpinnings of all of this you have to recognize is fear, fear that we're going to lose something right. And so when we become fearful, you and I know, when we work with people, the amygdala, the emotional brain right, goes into survival mode. And survival mode is really all about how can I win right. And so if I have people at a building and all of a sudden somebody yells fire, and there's no been no drill, but that's been practiced.
Speaker 2:People will trample each other to get out, whatever it takes I can't worry about you. I've got to get me out, yeah, and it takes an awareness and training and training to go. Oh, how can we get everyone out and drop the fear down? And so you have so many people responding with this lack of civility. They're just, we're walking over top of people and you have to understand this is fear driven. It's fear driven.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And then there's poor modeling. You know, more is caught than taught, so our kids are watching in. This cultural breakdown didn't happen just overnight, and so we've witnessed multiple generations now act this way and teach the next generation the same bad social skills. And so our job as adults. If you're showing up, I don't think there's many kids that are listening to our podcast, but if there are, go ahead and you model.
Speaker 1:But as adults we're called to model this, and when we're bad-mouthing somebody on the phone or we're flipping somebody off on the road or we're throwing eggs at somebody's car, we're showing our kids this discord that is going to be generational and it's going to have an impact way down the road if we don't stop it somewhere.
Speaker 2:We've had to be careful because, as you said, more is caught than taught. Like we've joked before that when we're all in a good mood, we're pretty sarcastic around our house.
Speaker 2:And that sarcasm when you're doing it around an 8-, 9-, 10-year-old, they're absorbing it and the next thing, you know, they say something sarcastic to you when you're not in the right mood and it all gets messy, you know, and you're like. So you know, you're just. We modeled that We've had to learn to apologize to our kids, like, okay, wait, that one's on me, but moving forward, here's what we do.
Speaker 1:You know, what we've also been seeing, hun, and especially with our younger kids, is because they don't understand how to resolve conflict and how to disagree in a civil way. Anytime you disagree with a child or you correct a child, they will come to somebody and say they're yelling at me, they're yelling at me. And it's crazy, because I never raised my voice. You know, I didn't get thrown. I didn't throw something at them, but because I disagreed I'm yelling at you.
Speaker 1:And so we've really got to model this how do we work through this and what is that making you feel like and what do we do about that? Because the answer is not just giving them their way and never having conflict or disagreement, because then they're going to just see that later on in life and it's going to show up in ugly ways. But we got to model for our kids how to resolve conflict, how to disagree in a healthy way.
Speaker 2:You know one thing that's led to the increase and I'm going to use the word again but just selfishness or narcissism one thing, that's led into it is this whole promotion of an entitlement mindset. Everybody gets a trophy right and so you deserve this, you know because, you were just part of it and so, um, and that all came with excuse me good intentions to our five-year-olds on the soccer field. It should have stayed right there and, uh, continuing to promote that entitlement just gets us in trouble, yeah.
Speaker 1:Don't choke to death. Um, you know, you're right. It is as cute when it's little kiddos, right, and they get a snack after every game and all that stuff. And so where do we break that? Where they don't expect it right. And so all of a sudden, we're handing that 16 year old their brand new car and their brand new phone and they're allowed to stay up as late as they want, and you know, because they're allowed to and they feel like they are entitled to it, so let's's not promote entitlement.
Speaker 1:And then this last one. Hon is really about technology and the fact that we're not giving our kids examples of really interacting with real human beings. And technology is replacing real human beings, and so we're connected, quote unquote, online. But relationships take time and practice, practice, and so the more we're on our phones or our tablets or game systems, um we're more self-serving and less less prepared and trained yeah, I don't have to learn to give and take back and forth.
Speaker 2:I even did a little experiment, because I was in a discussion with another guy about ai and uh, and he saying, well, you know, this AI is bad because everything comes with a slant. And I said, well, I don't know. I mean maybe, but maybe not. I said I know you can actually choose the slant.
Speaker 1:And so.
Speaker 2:I actually played with AI and I wrote three articles and I said write it from this perspective. And I sent them to him because he was like, oh wow, I could make it sound like a conservative, a liberal, like whatever I wanted to, by directing it.
Speaker 1:So we're real quick, just going to say, okay, this is what we're asking from you to do, and so get a piece of paper. One of them is be more intentional about teaching civility and about how we resolve conflict and cooperate with one another, like use those moments where you're in disagreement to sit down and say, ok, what do we do about that?
Speaker 1:You know, our 16 year old challenged me last night about something that I did that he saw as disrespectful, and you know what he was right. I did something. I threw something away of his that he had purchased with his own money and that I'm sure did sound it away of his that he had purchased with his own money and that I'm sure did sound.
Speaker 2:It wasn't his car, was it? Was that what happened? Again, it was a piece of clothing.
Speaker 1:But the point is is that he saw that as disrespectful and I had to agree with him. You're right, and so I'm sorry for disrespecting your stuff, and so here's what I'm asking from you. So, we talked about the give and take of respect, and so I need to do better and he needs to do better, which leads to number two building a foundation right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the value foundation. You hear us talk about this all the time. We do this both within a marriage. So we want couples to build a foundation of values, all right. But then, once we start to work on a family, we want that entire family to be very clear on what is valued in that home. And so you know, here we are as a Christian ministry. We're going to let our kids know very early that we're going to use God's word as a foundational component of what we do. And then we have to put words in it that make sense, like respect and love and all these kinds of things. But so, but you have to build that value foundation and you've got to be intentional about it.
Speaker 1:The next one is building empathy and teaching empathy and demonstrating empathy. And so, man, I can't imagine how hard that was when your teacher popped that quiz on you you know, or I can see that you're upset that you failed that test, or I know you're disappointed because we're not going out to eat tonight. So, like, build that empathy, show that you're hearing and seeing them and connecting, instead of that discord and that division.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can do this, guys, when you're, when your kids are even little and they're very much into their selfish nature. Then do we even talk about when something tragic happens in a cartoon? Maybe the house gets blown down by the wolf? I wonder how those pigs felt when that happened.
Speaker 1:How did Bambi feel? I remember crying at that movie. Oh, come on, you're a wimp, seriously. I remember crying at that movie, seriously, this is a Disney film and his mom already died, you know.
Speaker 2:so, yeah, teaches empathy and and helping them to understand feelings, yeah, uh, this one, guys, that, how's this even leaving us right like, how did this one leave the scene? The golden rule treat others the way you would want to be treated, and so you know I can tell you that when I watch that debate, um that's not how anyone wants to be treated and and so if you did, you'd feel like somebody just tried to hit you and so you would respond in a probably defensive manner.
Speaker 2:So the idea that I'm going to weigh my words, I'm going to think twice. Um, this guy who flipped me off, I don't even know who, he is right, but I would have no desire to stand up and flip him off because I wouldn't want that.
Speaker 1:If that was you, if you're listening and that was you, let him know. I would say just come and let's talk it out.
Speaker 2:If I did do something let me know and I think that that's part of that hon how about we get out from the truck? How about we get out from the truck? How about we get out from social media, how about? And let's just sit down and say, hey, you know?
Speaker 1:um, I'm sure I've offended more than I care to admit in life, but yeah, let's just work through this and lead with I statements Like I'm really struggling or I still hold onto this, instead of like you did this, you did that Cause, then the defenses go up. But strike a balance by the way of really owning our own behavior, teaching the ownership of behavior, saying you know, I've been angry at you for years, but that's not fair, like I haven't even shared that with you, and so I'm going to admit that I have been holding on to this grudge and this unforgiveness for a long time and it's built up a lot of bitterness, and so I'm going to own that that's huge and teach and model for your family.
Speaker 2:Well, I think ownership of all behaviors is extremely important. We are struggling with that, with with our kid right. Like and so um, this is where you stop denying and because it gets into the deny, turns into a lie.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, and so it's like man, more than the action that may have taken place, the trust that is destroyed. And so when I, when we start to walk around and we don't trust people, everything becomes very jaded. Yeah Right, and so we don't. We, we have to own our bads Right and and not go crazy over trying to hide those right. So if I, even as a politician, you know, I don't it's really difficult to ever hear a politician say you know, that policy that we enacted, that was not a very good policy.
Speaker 1:Or that person that's against me, like on the opposite side of the aisle, like they're a good guy, like you don't hear that very often. And so we're just saying please strike a balance of the positive and the negative. Don't always be the negative, nelly. Don't always like just try to smooth people and lie through your teeth. Like we want genuine, authentic, transparent, honest conversation. And so you know and this goes with our kids too they're not always going to be doing the right thing and they're not always doing the wrong thing. And so strike that balance of inflating and deflating your kids. We don't want to give a trophy for every event, but we don't want to beat them down either and make them feel like they can never please us. Yeah Right.
Speaker 2:Well, the last thing, guys, um and I think this is this allows all of us to stay in the game right without getting completely frustrated. We know how this story ends right.
Speaker 2:We know that good will prevail over evil. We've had that promise given to us, and even if you weren't a Christian, you actually know how these things play out. You watch, and so one of the things that you can do with your kids is show them look. If you continue to be rude or disrespectful or lack civility, here's the pathway that I can show you, from other people who've gone before you, where they are now, and so it is so powerful as a teaching tool to say you know, we've, we've done this with drugs, with alcohol, like, listen, if you choose to do this I'm not, I can't write a guarantee, but I can give you a pretty good picture of where this is headed, and so the idea of telling them how the story will end at least starts to give them a visual representation of what that behavior leads to.
Speaker 1:So, as we move forward, our challenge for ourselves and teaching our kids is really be mindful of the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is not a bunch of fruits. It's the characteristics that come from when the Holy Spirit indwells in us and it shines out bright in the darkness, wells in us and it shines out bright in the darkness. It's that love and joy and that peace and that patience and that kindness and that goodness and that faithfulness and that gentleness and that self-control. All of those things are of the Spirit, of the Holy Spirit, and when he lives inside us, it should be coming out of us, because out of the overflow of our heart our mouth speaks and so we want that to be in our words and our actions and our attitude. So let's really try to do better, because there is enough darkness and evil and ugly and discord in the world. Man, let's be the light in the darkness.
Speaker 2:Well, it's a great opportunity, guys, and this is not about being holier than thou and all these kinds of things. This is actually about teaching our kids about civility, so that they can learn to keep their country together, because there is a greater enemy outside of this right, and if we don't keep the focus on what the actual enemy is, we will devour each other and uh, and sometimes we almost feel righteous in doing that, and you just got to understand, like, well, how's that going to work for you when half of your team is gone?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that reminds me of that verse again, matthew 12, 25, where it says a house divided against itself cannot stand. And so that's our nation, that's our community, that's our school, that's our church, that's our homes. And also you mentioned, if you keep on biting and devouring each other you're going to destroy one another, and that's what the enemy wants.
Speaker 1:So let's build unity. That's what our Synergy program is about, our before school Bible study, where we bring all these students, these middle school students, together. There's 20 different churches, a lot of unchurched kiddos, and we're saying, hey, you know, christ can be that light in the darkness, it can be your friend, it can be the values that you build your life on is what he has shown us. He came on earth to show us that. So let's go out and do that today, please.
Speaker 2:All right. So, guys, hopefully, hopefully this was a little inspiring like go home, you know, and and and move in a slightly different direction, or mostly just awareness, like you know what is coming out of our mouth, what direction, and mostly just awareness, like you know what is coming out of our mouth.
Speaker 1:What are we teaching our kids? And again, this show is timely because we're entering in such a division, a divisive season of our nation and our world today. And so, please, please, lead with civility. Leave with the fruit of the spirit, guys, so that God is pleased and he's glorified. No matter who you vote for, no matter who wins Lord, ultimately we know that he wins.
Speaker 2:To just remark, you know to your point this whole idea of I've heard people say if we don't get this election right, we will lose everything, and I really have just cautioned that statement from the idea of God uses all of our leaders, right and so good, bad ugly, whether we agree with them or disagree with them, and the idea that you would be so defeated by that you are taking God off the throne.
Speaker 2:You may not like a particular thing, but don't remove God from the throne. He's already given us the peace to know that, hey, I got this, guys, I got it.
Speaker 1:It's going to be okay, yeah. So don't put your hope in a candidate or a decision. Let's put our hope in the one that will never, ever let us down, and that's Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:All right, we want to thank again. We want to thank our sponsors, maxwell Construction, casey's Outdoor Solutions and the Hoosier Ice House. We also want to thank all of you guys. Hey, if there is some tension, some battle going on in your life and if there's something we can do to help you know, please reach out to us 812-576-7625. Also, you can check out what we're doing here on our Web page at RockSolidFamiliesorg. Newsletter just went out.
Speaker 1:So that's fresh out there. We have a new Instagram page, rock Solid Families, so check that out and follow us.
Speaker 2:You'll get all the latest. I'm terrible about that, Like I don't even know how to use it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, we're on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.
Speaker 2:All right. So thanks again for listening to Rock Solid Families podcast. Building a stronger community, one family at a time. Make it a great day and stop fighting with each other. Rock solid families wants to thank casey's outdoor solutions for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. Casey's has grown to be one of the largest and most unique garden centers and gift shops in the cincinnati tri-state area. Whether you are looking to take on that next landscape project or simply add a little home decor to your house, casey's has you covered. Located at 21481 State Line Road, lawrenceburg, indiana, Call them today at 812-537-3800. Let Casey's help you add beauty to your home. Rock solid families wants to thank maxwell construction for sponsoring the rock solid families podcast. For over 30 years, maxwell construction has been a leader in turning dreams into realities building building schools, banks, restaurants and many other commercial and public facilities. Maxwell Construction has made it their priority to not just build buildings, but to build into their community. So if you have any construction needs, call them at 812-537-2200.
Speaker 1:Rock Solid Families would like to thank Hoosier Ice House for being a proud sponsor of the Rock Solid Families podcast. In the heart of historic Lawrenceburg, Indiana, the Ice House is at the corner of Vine and High Streets. The historic building evokes a feeling of comfort, with spacious indoor and outdoor dining, a large bar and comfortable dining areas Large enough to host parties, yet intimate enough to feel like your favorite neighborhood restaurant. So thank you again for the Hoosier Ice House for sponsoring the Rock Solid Families podcast.