Welcome to The Mind School Coach Yourself Series. This week on the pod, Bre is going to teach you how you can overcome any problem or challenge with these 4 Power Questions.
Start with a problem that’s blocking the path to the highest version of yourself. Then ask yourself these things;
⚡ Can I spot a pattern here?
⚡ How am I contributing to this?
⚡ What do I have to gain by LETTING this be a problem?
⚡ Where is the opportunity / lesson in this?
Ooooooooffffft! Time to get deep fam. Recognise a pattern and analyse the sh*t out of it to move forward. This only works if you’re brutally honest with yourself and it might feel uncomfortable….but that’s a sign you’re moving in the right direction.
Let us know what you thought about this episode by taking a screenshot and tagging @iambreannamay on stories.
Welcome to The Mind School Coach Yourself Series. This week on the pod, Bre is going to teach you how you can overcome any problem or challenge with these 4 Power Questions.
Start with a problem that’s blocking the path to the highest version of yourself. Then ask yourself these things;
⚡ Can I spot a pattern here?
⚡ How am I contributing to this?
⚡ What do I have to gain by LETTING this be a problem?
⚡ Where is the opportunity / lesson in this?
Ooooooooffffft! Time to get deep fam. Recognise a pattern and analyse the sh*t out of it to move forward. This only works if you’re brutally honest with yourself and it might feel uncomfortable….but that’s a sign you’re moving in the right direction.
Let us know what you thought about this episode by taking a screenshot and tagging @iambreannamay on stories.
Hey, you welcome back to the mind school Podcast. I'm very excited to have this chat today. I'm very excited, just in general, I'll be honest, I have quite a lot of like, nervous energy right now. Because right after I finished recording this episode, I'm going to pick up my puppy. Oh my gosh, it's actually been so interesting. Like, it's brought up so much, which has been so cool. Like, already, I'm seeing so many little stories and narratives and fears and opportunities for growth just in making the decision to get a puppy, which, so many of you have actually reached out and, you know, encouraged me, those of you who are dog mums and who love having a pet have been so encouraging, which I really appreciated because for Paul and I, it was a quite a large decision. And all of the fears that came up for me was so like, interesting, just like, oh, this is a lot of commitment. I am, I love my life, how it is, you know, we go camping a lot, we travel a lot, blah, blah, blah. So anyway, it's just been a really cool experience already. But noticing how much I love this thing. Even though I don't even have him yet. Like I, I just can't wait, I'm going to be spamming my Instagram Stories, I'm sure if you're not following along have a look, his name is Simba. And he literally looks like a little teddy bear. So it's a big day. It's an exciting day. But I want to dive into today's episode, which is actually a longer form conversation, which came from a post that I put on my Instagram Stories earlier last week. And it's all about really being someone who can coach yourself through anything. And when you become someone through practice, and through asking these four really powerful questions that I'm going to go through in today's episode, when through practice and repetition and cognitive habit, you become somebody who is extremely self sourced, self motivated, self reliant, self dependent, all of your confidence, all of your actions, everything comes from an internal place. And when you are this person, like I said, through just living in this cognitive behavioural pattern, which is asking yourself really high quality questions, you become somebody who is fully in control of your life, who can overcome any problem or obstacle really, really fast, and who isn't stopped by anything. And what I have found is, and you've probably heard the quote many times, and I've said it so many times on this podcast, and that is, the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask. So I want you to think about right now, a problem or a challenge or an obstacle or something that is kind of in your way, between where you are now and where you really want to be. And I want you to just bring your awareness true in this episode, but also over the next week or so. Just bring your awareness to what is going on internally. How are you responding and thinking, in response to this problem? When this problem comes up, when this obstacle or challenge arises? Is your question, why is this happening? Why does this always happen to me? Do you start to go into ah, I knew I couldn't do this. Do you see the problem and go, I knew that I couldn't do it. Or I knew that this would be too hard? Or maybe this wasn't the right thing for me? Or maybe I can't do this, or what was I thinking? What happens when you are met with a challenge internally tells me how empowered you are, how in control you are and how fast you will turn this problem into a huge lesson and be someone who isn't stopped by anything. So I'm going to go through what I call four power questions. And these power questions if you keep in your mental toolkit, and if you use over time as your automatic thought your automatic question, you will become someone who doesn't see the problem as the problem, but sees it as an opportunity to evolve and transcend and take yourself to the next level. And when you live through this lens, you become an extremely magnetic, extremely powerful, extremely potent person that people want to be around. People will feel your power and people will want to come into your world either as your client or just be around you because you exude this confidence. You probably can think of that person off the top of your head who it's like they just exude this quiet confidence they've got this internal intrinsic quiet energy of like I'm solid. I'm not convincing anyone I don't need to wait for validation. I don't need I'm not a victim. I can trol my life, I control my circumstances, they've got this energy of like, get the fuck out of my way, like these people are on a mission, they've got somewhere to be, and nothing is going to stop them. These people ask really powerful questions, and I'm going to go through them one by one, and really help you to unpack it, and use these power questions and start to get into the habit, whenever you have a problem of bang, how can I ask a more empowering question to get a more empowering result? And to transcend this problem much faster? So the first question I want you to think about, consider this problem, consider this obstacle, consider what your issue is. And I want you to ask this question. Can I spot a pattern here? And what do I mean by this? Does this problem seem to be one that you don't just have once it feels familiar to you? It's almost like you could be forgiven for internally going, Why does this always happen to me? If you've got a problem, that is actually a pattern? I hate to say it, but actually, you're probably contributing to it, because the common denominator is you. So if you've got a problem, and let's say it's something like, my problem is, my income has always been inconsistent, I go up or go down. Why is it always inconsistent, or it might be like, I always attract these people into my life that are not available for commitment. It might be, I always have friends who come in and ditch me, it might be, I always go hard out and then burn out. So what you will notice is that key word here, the language of always, this always happens to me. And you might even notice, if you are in a disempowered frequency, the question that you will be asking yourself is, Why does this always happen to me, but it comes from this low energy of almost victimhood or victim mentality of like, Oh, poor me, this always happens to me. So what you want to look for? Is this always energy? And the questions that you're asking yourself, what we want to do is flip it, to ask the question, why is this a pattern? Is this a pattern? And what is the pattern, and if it is a pattern, and you're looking and seeing that this word always is happening, this might actually be an indicator that you are contributing to it? Which leads us to power question number two. Number two is, how am I contributing to this. And sometimes, this is a really tough pill to swallow. Because we don't want to, especially if we're in the habit of asking disempowering questions of being a little bit of a victim in our problems, we don't want to ask, Well, what have I done to contribute to this, this always reminds me, there's a really, really awesome saying or phrase, I don't know if you've heard it, it's like, if one person tells you you're a horse, you're probably not a horse. If a second person calls you a horse, you might be a horse, if the third person calls you a horse, though, and buy some hay. And it's like, okay, there's if if, if this is a pattern that's repeating itself, if you have heard somebody say something to you multiple times, if there is a circumstance that you seem to keep finding yourself in, if there is a set of scenarios where you feel really familiar, and you want it to stop happening, the pattern is you the thing is you and when you ask yourself, How am I contributing to this, that is going to start to get you to look in a different light at the problem and start to see are I actually might be contributing to this in some way. So say, for example, you notice a pattern where you keep attracting people into your life who don't respect your boundaries. And if you ask the question, How am I contributing to this, you might look a little bit deeper and go, well, actually, I never actually make my boundaries clear. Or actually, every time somebody does overstep my boundaries, I don't say anything. Well, actually, these people don't even know what my boundaries are. Because I'm so wishy washy and flippy. Floppy with them. Or maybe you don't actually respect other people's boundaries. And so people know that boundaries aren't actually a really strong thing for you, and they will overstep them. And so it's more it's just about looking at the pattern. And when you see the pattern starting to get really fucking brutally honest with yourself and asking, Well, what in me is attracting to this, what part of me might be a match to this? What part of my behaviour is actually what makes complete sense that I would continue attracting this and when you spot the pattern and start to see your behaviour that could be contributing to attracting this circumstance that you're so familiar with? You'll get to see where you can transcend things and start to behave different differently to get a different result. Because the truth is, if you keep repeating a certain pattern, you're going to get the same results. And there is a pattern that you have established that will need to change for you to get a different result. So that is the second question. And those two really go nicely hand in hand. So firstly, what is the pattern? What is this always thing that I keep having? And be? How am I contributing to it? Where am I responsible for it? And what part Am I playing? Now? The third question after this is, what do I get to gain? Or what do I get to avoid when this pattern continues to play out? And this might sound a little bit contradictory because if it's something that you see or perceive as a problem, you're going to think, well, I don't want this it's obviously a problem. This isn't something I'm asking for. But the truth is, even our problems, on some level, we are unconsciously having some kind of benefit from or we would stop doing it. So let me give you like a really surface level example, let's say somebody wants to quit smoking. On some level, they have a benefit to this behaviour, they might want to stop smoking on on one level. But sometimes the desire or the benefit that you receive from the behaviour or pattern is actually stronger than the desire to stop the behaviour. So let's say a smoker has created a pattern that's become quite unconscious, that when they are stressed, the smoke is the thing that unconsciously allows them and gives them the opportunity to slow down to take a breather to get outside to de stress. And so there is actually a game to continuing this behaviour and to having this problem, because you get to de stress, because this smoker gets an opportunity for stress relief, there is a positive gain to continuing this behaviour, continuing this pattern and to let this problem continue. And what they would have get to avoid by continuing to smoke, they get to avoid looking at the fact that actually they've got really maybe dysregulated emotions, they don't know how to sit with their emotions, maybe this person actually doesn't know how to de stress, maybe this person would then have to deal with their social anxiety because maybe the smoke has always been a crutch, to be doing something to have something to do with their hands to not feel awkward. And so to continue smoking, this person gets to avoid working on social anxiety working on emotional regulation. And that's just a really surface level example. But your problems and your scenarios that you actually keep attracting these problems probably have some benefit to them, even if the quote problem is that you're always feeling overwhelmed. What is the benefit to staying overwhelmed is that you get an excuse to not take action. And therefore you never have to deal with the potential of failing. And that might actually be what's going on. So if you live in overwhelm, you actually give yourself a complete permission slip to not have to worry about the real fear, which is failure. So even though it feels like it's a problem that you really want to overcome, if you dig deeper, like really, really, really deep and you really sit with this question, and it won't be clear immediately, it will not be clear immediately. But if you sit with it long enough, and you really dive deep, and you ask yourself, what do I get to gain? Or what do I get to avoid by continuing to have this problem, you will find what probably the root cause is. And so with these three questions, what you can kind of see is that these are quality questions which allow you to and requires you to become radically responsible and see where you're responsible, what the pattern is how you can start to transcend this behaviour or issue. And that leads to the last question, which is, where is the opportunity in this? Or what is the lesson here? Because if we start to see every problem, as an opportunity to grow every problem as an opportunity to see things from a new perspective, every problem as an opportunity to strengthen parts of ourselves that are no longer problems, but initiations and even this tiny little language shift or reframe is so helpful, because what it can do over time is start to condition you to actually get excited about a problem to actually see a problem or a challenge and be like cool. This is actually an initiation into me transcending up to my next level. And if we start to look at it as a problem look at problems or challenges as like a game. So I think of like Mario Kart did anyone play Mario Kart, or Mario Brothers and you know, there was all these different levels and stages that you had to get to, to go and save the princess. And every single time you had to save the princess, you had to overcome different challenges. And every time you overcame a challenge, your skill set grew. And then you were able to with with hold larger or bigger challenges, and eventually you got the ultimate reward, it's kind of the same, I see it as, as you uplevel in whatever endeavour it is, you're up levelling, whatever stage it is, you're growing towards, wherever it is you're heading, there is going to be new skill sets and new requirements of you. And so the problems that you face along the way are like the training ground, they are requiring you to uplevel. And so if you can see the problems as not problems, but initiations and opportunities, you're always going to come out of it stronger, and that is actually going to Quantum Leap you into the next level. So when you start to ask yourself, what is the opportunity here, or what is the lesson here, all of a sudden, you start to look at these problems from a very empowered and high frequency lens, and it becomes this tool to help elevate you quicker. So every single time you have a quote, problem, I invite you to actually look at language and start to use the term initiation or lesson and see if there is a lesson here. So as an example, and this is, again, just a really surface level example. But there was a while ago, where I made quite a big investment, like a very high multi multi four figure investment into something that personally I didn't feel like I got a lot from, I wasn't extremely excited by it, it didn't feel like I learned all that much, etc, etc. And yes, I took responsibility for a lot of that. And then I also looked for the lesson. And actually, I got some really great lessons in that investment about listening to my gut, I got some really great investments, about making sure that I was doing things from a really grounded place, and that I did more research before I dive in. So I actually learned lots of lessons that will come with me, so that next time I go to invest, you know, multi four, or five figures into something, it's going to be from this new place, because I have learned lessons that I've taken with me, it would be such a shame to have all these challenges and initiations and not learn the golden nuggets from it, so that the next time it comes up, it's normalised it's not even a problem. And that's the other thing, when you look at problems through the lens of okay, this is here to teach me something, something or strengthen something in myself, your problems actually up up level with your level. Does that make sense? So if you think about the next level that you're going to the next level, you is going to have higher quality problems. And if you continue to see all these little things as big issues as big things that get in the way as big obstacles, if they continue to be your big edge, it's not going to upgrade you to the next level, because your current level of problem will match your current reality. So if you start to normalise and see these things as little opportunities, and you don't see them as such huge issues, what happens is, you then become a match for higher quality problems. And so what I want to say just to wind this all up is also I found it really, really helpful to ask the question, what kind of problem am I just no longer available for? So to give an example, if you are growing an online business, I would suggest that you decide, it cannot be a problem for me that it's so hard to post I don't know what to post. Getting yourself to do the bare minimums can probably just not be a problem. If you want to get to a next level in your online business. Little things like this, it's worth asking the question, What am I no longer willing to see as a big problem, because the quality of problems you entertain will tell me a lot about what level you're at and what you're a match for. So all of this is really just to help you be able to coach yourself through anything and start to see opportunities in things and to initiate yourself into higher levels. So that you get to become really, really responsible like radically responsible, massively empowered and able to handle anything that comes at you. So that a you strengthen who you need to be to get to your next level. You become a match for you On next level, and you start to see everything as an opportunity and see where you're contributing to things. And when you're this person, you become a match for really high quality humans as well, which is great if you have a business where you really want those high level clients that are self led and self motivated and self responsible. Well, you need to be those things first. And how you respond to problems or initiations is going to determine the energy you put out and who you attract back. So I really hope this was helpful. If you want to be someone who is empowered and who knows how to navigate lots of different things, he has lots of different mindset tools, who wants to really go through if you're going through a transition or you want to uplevel your whole life, then you know, level up your life is for you. That is my signature 12 week programme, which is all about redesigning your life and having the toolkit to be able to step it out, walk it out and create that reality. It's really really deep, really incredible. We've had hundreds of women come through and completely change their internal world and external world and that is going to be opening again in February. So keep your eyes out. But I hope that these questions really helped you. I would love to hear from you. Share it on your stories tag me I would just love to know your great takeaways, and I will see you back here next week with my dog on my lap. Bye