😖 When you're OVERCOMPLICATING things...Nail the BASICS, Nail your whole life 🔨

Welcome back to another episode of the Mind School Podcast and this week Bre is here with a passionate pep talk for anyone with ‘shiny object syndrome’. 

What is that? I hear you ask…Well, if you are someone with a recurring issue that you can’t seem to resolve with all of the courses and all of the coaches and all of the THINGS. Or you have a pattern of overcomplicating things ending in anxious spirals and frustration then you’re going to want to listen this episode because the solution….is actually pretty simple.

Tune in to hear Bre chat about:

🔨 How do you know if you’re overcomplicating things?

🔨 Looking at any recurring issues through a macro and a micro lense

🔨 Why nailing the fundamentals is CRITICAL to solving these issues

🔨 Consistency, as always, is KEY

9 times out of 10 you actually already know the answer but it’s usually scary, it feels hard or it’s not working with your perceived timeframe. This episode is going to help you drill down into WHY you keep spiraling and HOW to stop.

As always, let us know your thoughts by sharing a screenshot to your stories and tagging @iambreannamay

The Mind School Method is OPEN and we have 3 spots remaining. More information HERE

Transcript

Ep 181- When you're making thi... life.... - 21_3_2024, 6.42 am

Fri, Apr 05, 2024 5:34AM • 23:03

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

basics, fucking, feeling, nail, problem, podcast, business, foundations, unpack, money, answer, coach, mindset, basic principles, balance, overcomplicating, love, year, sleep, relationship

00:00

Hello, you bunch of Legends, how are you? And how are we liking the new podcast tile, I actually really want to hear from you. We have uploaded a new podcast tile. And let's talk about this for a quick second. For those of you who have businesses, I think this will be a really cool conversation. Because sometimes what I've seen happen, and I've been, you know, I do this too, or I have done this, too, is that we don't give ourselves permission to change something as soon as it's not feeling good anymore. And if you are like me, and you are somebody who actually changes your mind, often, you might actually hold yourself back from changing because of fear of all this might be flaky, or whatever it is. And you might still be in that sort of phase of business, where you're like, trying to figure out you're trying things on to see what fits, and you're like, this, isn't it. And I want to just normalise that for a moment, just especially if you're in the beginning phase or startup phase of business, let's just allow ourselves. So here's your bid permission slip, allow yourself to try shit on and see what fits. And when it doesn't change it. You're allowed to use your business as an expression of your creativity of an expression of who you are. And sometimes we actually need to trial and error things, to see what really resonates and lands. And so ever since I did the rebrand where for OGS listening. I was Miss mindset for years and years and years. And I absolutely loved the branding that came with that it was just so me. And then what happened was I started to feel like I outgrew it. So I was looking at it. And I was like oh, it's all this baby pink, it's feeling very like in my in my younger days, I'm feeling very like babyish with it. I'm feeling very beginner energy. And I feel like I outgrown it. And so I rebranded and with that rebrand came a whole new vision, a whole new look a whole new stepping into my next level identity. And now, I was I was beat, I've been looking at it going, it's still not quite right, it's still not quite right. There's something that's not fitting, and I'm still figuring out what that is. And it's starting to be more clear, as I've given myself permission to experiment. And where people can get a bit stuck in their businesses, they become really rigid, and they become like, this is the way we do things. And this is how things are. And and if you're not checking in to be like, Wait, does this feel good? Does it still feel like who I am? Does this still feel like where I want to go? Do I still see a representation of me? Am I giving myself permission to be creative? Am I giving myself permission to change my mind? Am I balancing structure and rigidity and planning and having a really clearly defined outcome? And am I balancing that with the ability to be magical with the ability to be creative with the ability to trust my intuition and make those changes when I get those, you know, receive those downloads. So anyway, I wasn't expecting to go straight into a little bit of a bonus learning there. But my question was, how do you like the new podcast style, I hope you love it, I actually think it's way more me. It's jeans, it's lying down. It's not wearing shoes. And that's what really how I am 90% of the time, the blazer is a vibe, and I can do it. And I love that boss energy too. And you know, you get to be both, there is a podcast coming out about that. But that's for a couple weeks. Today, I want to talk about what might be going on when you are overcomplicating things and when you are making things harder than they need to be. And so what I want you to think about as I start to explain, and as I go through some processes that you can apply, I want you to think about what is that problem that you keep having? What is that issue that you keep bringing up? Where is that one thing where it's just always your bugbear where you're always like, back this thing again? What is the thing that you're almost over your own fucking voice about you like, Ah, here we are again. Or maybe you have a coach and you're asking your coach the same thing all the time, maybe it's always coming back to the same problem. I want you to think about what that is for you. And this is going to be for you if you resonate with any of these behaviours. If you feel like sometimes you get into a bit of a spiral or a bit of a pattern of overcomplicating things, of making things way harder than they need to be. If you're somebody who is always looking for a different answer, if you get kind of shiny object syndrome, and because of that you're someone who's joined a million courses on the same thing. You You know, you've got 10 million courses on marketing, you've got 10 million mindset courses. You've got 10 different coaches all at once you're getting shiny object syndrome with who your mentor is who your coaches, which course to do which book, another podcast, you're always looking for a different strategy. You're always investing into something that you've already done before. And look, I want to just again, let me contradict myself and you'll understand the difference. Of course, like I've done it million things around mindset because I fucking love it. But it's never because I'm trying to find a different answer. I know the answer. It's coming from overflow and it's coming from I've nailed the basics first. So I want to really move into this, I want you to think once again, about the problem that keeps presenting itself. Keep that in mind. Now I'm going to break this down into two different ways. I'm going to chunk up and then I'm going to chunk down, I'm going to go on a macro level, and then I'm going to go on a micro level. So what do I mean by that? First of all, let's look at your life from a really zoomed out from a really chunked out from a really macro level. Before you start to unpack before you start to make yourself wrong before you start to spiral before you start to get into your reactivity. I want you to ask the question of have I nailed the human basics before I start to make this a problem? So if you're feeling tired, if you're feeling stressed, if you're feeling like Oh, today's a bad day, I'm feeling a bit more. Before you make that a problem. I want you to ask yourself, Am I nailing the basics of being a functioning human? What is that? Let's talk about? Are you getting eight hours sleep? Are you fucking hydrated? And are you having nutritious meals? Often balanced, nutritious meals? Are you managing your stress? So before you even start to unpack any problems in your life before you wake up and go, Oh, God, I'm in a bad mood. And now all of a sudden, everything's a problem. Let's just stop. And let's just always ask the question, Are my basic needs being met? First, are my basic needs being met? First, what I have found in every discipline, in every area of your life, there is going to be a set of basic fundamental principles that you can revert back to nine times out of 10, when you think there's a problem, it'll be something along the lines of coming back to the basics. So back to basics on a macro level. Have you actually got enough sleep? Are you actually just fucking tired? And that's the issue, you don't need to make this a problem? Are you actually just on a sugar crash? And that's why you're feeling brain fog? Are you actually just living on a stress response, and therefore, you're so fucking tired, because your nervous system is cooked? Like we need to look at the bare minimum basics before we start to create problems that don't even fucking exist. So I want you to ask that basics. Let's nail the basics. And when you nail the basics, you're setting a foundation. Now, let's get this very clear, foundational principles, the basic things that are always the foundation or the starting point, doesn't mean that they're basic as in Oh, I'm above this. They're called the basics. They're called the foundations because you cannot build from there. If you don't have a solid and sturdy foundation. It's kind of like this was actually in our wedding vows because Paul always, always has said to me, Brianna, you can't fire a cannon. No, what is it? You can't fire a cannon from a canoe? And that's because I will often try to go 10 million miles an hour, but I haven't set the foundations. I think it's a money Gen thing. It's like, whoa, I'm excited. Let's do it. And then it's like, oh, shit, got to go backwards and fix up a few mistakes. And that's okay. But what I've learned over time is actually nail the basics, get a solid foundation, and then fire your cannon. Fire your cannon from a solid Jedi, not from a shonky canoe, we don't want to build a house of cards, where it's like every every moment, the basics are going to blow us down every moment, we're going to see that the structures aren't there to support what it is we're

08:51

building. So it's called basics. Because it's basic, because you need it to even evolve, you need it to be able to expand. So on a macro level, look at your basic fundamental human needs that every human needs to be able to actually thrive. Don't talk to me about thriving. If you're still having a sugar crash every single day at 2pm. Don't talk to me about thriving. If you're trying to live off two to three hours sleep. Don't talk to me about thriving, if you still haven't been able to manage your stress levels and your nervous system is cooked. And of course, let's use discernment. Again, if you are a new mum and you have a newborn and you are running off a few hours sleep, of course, you're not going to be able to feel good. That's not a you thing that's not you being wrong or bad. It's not that anything is wrong. It's not that your relationships are falling down. It's probably not that anything is actually wrong. It's just that you can't think straight because you don't have sleep. And so before we make problems that aren't really there, let's just assess those things first, and actually maybe it's just and this is the thing I noticed filled with people who are in the personal development space for people who have done a lot of self awareness for people who are building their levels of self awareness for people who are always assessing their mindset, watching themselves with curiosity, all the things that are really great for being a self aware self led really responsible human, right? A conscious human. Sometimes hate to use that language because conscious dicks winners can just be absolute fucks. But you get what I'm saying, right? So this is the problem. Sometimes we unpack everything we make everything a big fucking problem. We're like, Oh, why did I just snap all is the relationship. Okay? Oh, what's going on here? I'm not really feeling energised. Well, maybe rather than unpacking it, you actually just need an eight hour sleep and a solid meal. And so hydration. So sometimes we need to stop overcomplicating really basic things, we need to stop making mountains out of molehills, you know what I mean? So that's that on the macro level. Now, let's go to a more micro level. And I want to break things down so that you actually can see how this applies. Whether you're talking about let's say, the problem that you thought about at the beginning of this podcast was either a money thing, or a weight thing, or an exercise thing, or a diet thing, or a business thing, whatever. The problem is that you just keep bringing up that you just keep having before you start with the shiny object syndrome. Before you ask the same question. Again, when you've already got the answer. I want you to ask yourself, have I nailed the basic principles? The day one things, the most obvious, logical things that you learned when you were learning the basics? Or the foundations? Or is this little like this is actually a question that I think you could ask yourself? How would a 10 year old explained this? What would a 10 year old say? What would you say to yourself, if you were explaining this to a 10 year old? That's where you're going to get the basic answer and probably the most logical answer. All of these things relationships, business, diet, weight, exercise, they all have foundational principles, which anybody who has mastered and prospered and and found lots of success within that field will be able to tell you here is day one basic principles. Don't come to me until you've mastered these and the people who have achieved great success in whichever area it is you're looking at. They are probably people who still nail the basics. The basics are so embedded in how they behave in their habits, in their processes, that it's almost unconscious to them. But if you really look what they're doing is consistently nailing the basics. So let's think about this. Finances. If finances continues to be your problem, if you're always living paycheck to paycheck, if you're like, What the fuck, I just can't get on top of my money. Yes, there can be lots of mindset things at play, and you could be sabotaging and yes, there might be some things to unpack. But let's go back to the basics right? Now the basics. And then we get to explore basics. We actually know this, how do you create wealth? And I'm gonna say I'm talking about wealth, not money, not savings, very fucking different things. I think I want you to do money mindset, again, because I've got lots of new things to teach anywho, money, finances wealth, it's actually pretty fucking clear. Are you investing more than you're spending? Are you investing into places where your money will compound and work for you? Or not? Are you spending your money on frivolous things that actually do not compound? It's pretty easy. If you want to grow wealth, you have to put your money into where it compounds. There's basic principles there. Are you diversifying? Are you dollar cost averaging? And are you making sure that you are investing rather than spending? And even if you are, okay, if you're not going down the wealth path? If you're going down the savings path? Are you saving more than you're spending? Are your costs of living lower than your income? Can you create a different balance between your expenses and your income? It's actually pretty simple. Let's go bare basics before you go fancy ship. Next weight loss because this is just an example that I think so many people have experienced or are still experiencing. It's actually pretty fucking basic expend more energy than you consume. It's an energetic balance. Every scientist every PT, every nutritionist will tell you energy balance, calories in calories out, is there a deficit? If you're trying to lose weight? Yes, there needs to be a calorie deficit. Yes. And of course, this is where I'm saying, nail the basics. And once you've nailed the basics, sure, you can start to look at fancy things like what about the quality of your macros? What about the type of calories that you're consuming? How is that impacting your glucose levels? That's all stuff that you get to look into and explore. Once you've got the basics nailed down Diet again, it's pretty fucking simple. What would a 10 year old say? What would your 90 year old grandma say? Eat real fucking food that doesn't have many labels, eat food that comes from the ground, eat food, that's vegetables, eat food that's not got heaps of sugar, eat real fucking food. Yes, then you've got all of these industries and all of these people getting shiny object syndrome inside of a diet industry, which, by the way, is literally there to make money. 96% of diets fail, but you get to be distracted in finding the next shiny object. Is it the Atkins diet? Is it the Paleo diet? Is it the fucking insert 10,000 other diets that you can trial and fail? Because that's what they're destined to do so that you're a returning customer? Or you can just come back to the basics? Are you eating real food? Are you eating balanced meals? And if you're trying to lose weight, are you consuming less than you're expending? Like, Let's nail the basics. Let's now the basics business. If you have a business problem, yes, there's a million strategies. There's lots of different things that you can do, but the actual fundamentals of business, what would day one of business school, even, not business school, not University, let's go back to year 10. If you did business, if that was a subject, and I'm actually just thinking I should contradict myself here, because what they would teach you at school about business is probably 10,000 years old and completely irrelevant in a modern context, because that's what the education system is at the moment. But I digress. What is the most basic thing about business? Well, you need to have an incredible offer. And you need to market that offer so that you can get sales, and then you need to provide an incredible service, rinse and repeat. It's actually pretty simple. If you've got a problem, it's going to be one of those things. Maybe there's a million different strategies. But if you already have the answer, if you've already identified all shit, I've got a sales problem. Cool. What are the basics of sales? If you've identified or I've actually got an offer problem, people aren't wanting my offer? Cool, make the offer better? There's actually fundamentals to everything even if we look at relationships, are you having a relationship breakdown? Are you finding that the people that you're spending time with you don't feel you're speaking the same language? There are fundamentals to successful and intimate and meaningful relationships that any relationship coach will tell you? And even as I'm saying this, you're probably already thinking, I know the answer. I know the answer. And if that's the answer, let it be the answer. Let it be the answer. Are you communicating openly? Are you having honest conversations? Are you going below the surface? Are your values aligned? I mean, maths could teach you this. And sidenote, I have been very much into maths right now. It's my guilty fucking pleasure. I am obsessed. My hairdresser told me a few weeks ago, and I was like, Nah, don't watch TV, like I don't have I don't even have the channels. And he was like, No, download nine. And watch it binge it. Paul was on night shift. And I was like, No, I'm really into it. But the experts on maps will tell you and you will know, you will know by speaking to a six year old, a six year old, if you ask them in class, what makes a good friend what makes a good relationship? They'll say, be nice to each other, support each other, talk to each other, don't ignore each other. It's very basic things. It's like what are the basics? What are the fundamentals? What are the foundations? Every issue or problem that you're having? Will nine times out of 10 come back to? Are you nailing the basics? And when I say nailing the basics, I mean consistently? Are you consistently nailing the basics?

18:42

Not Yeah, I tried it for three months, and it didn't work. Not I'm on again, off again off the waggon on the waggon. Not that I you consistently embodied in the habits and the behaviours that would require you to have nailed the basics. If you haven't nailed the basics, I would argue that you might be overcomplicating things, you might be making things harder than they need to be. And you might actually be fully slowing down your progress. Because while it can feel like oh, I just want to get there faster. So let me go find another answer. Let me go find another solution. Let me go fucking research this thing again. What's actually happening? And this could be a whole separate podcast episode about what's going on under the surface, is that you actually just want it to be a different answer. Because the answer the basic answer was hard. It didn't happen as fast as you wanted. It actually felt like a really a slog, you felt like you kept falling off the waggon. You felt like it didn't work. You didn't get the results you wanted fast enough in the timeframe that you had decided it needed to be. And often it is that you wanted results faster, and then you didn't get the results. So you've thrown in the towel and you're looking for some other answer. So what that does is that you're always starting again from day one. You're Always starting again from day one, and you're not actually making progress, you'd make faster progress if you slow down and let the answer be the answer. Nail the basics consistently over time, when you fall off the waggon, get back on when you fall off the waggon, get back on, build your solid foundations and grow from there. So what I want to leave you with are some questions that is going to help you think of that problem. That is the consistent problem. That is the real problem that you just keep coming back to. And these are the questions I want you to ask yourself. And for those of you who work with coaches, for those of you who have mentors, for those of you who invest in your own learning and expansion, quite often, this is actually going to help you to get the most out of your coaching containers, I can tell you that the quality of my questions improved. When I started to lead with Have I already asked this question. If I've already asked this question, I fucking got the answer. Why am I asking it again? I know the answer, let the answer land and go do the thing. So I want you to ask the question, do I already actually have the answer? Do I actually know what the answer is? Have I already been asking this question? And am I actually just repeating myself and looping? And again, let's use discernment. If it keeps coming up? Yes, you can bring it to your coach. I've said this too many clients? Yes, this is an issue that we keep coming back to. But sometimes problems will have different integrations, different iterations, different frequencies, and we get to go back to it. But in a general sense, are you just looping on something and making things harder than they need to be? When you actually already asked the question and already have the answer? are you repeating yourself? And finally, are you actually being consistent with the basics with the foundations? If you haven't nailed the basics, give yourself a break. Stop with all the extra pieces of knowledge stop with this shiny object syndrome start with or maybe a different coach will give me a different answer. Start with oh, maybe this is the answer I've been looking for. Maybe this is the strategy I've been looking for. And come back to basics. When you nail the basics, you will have a solid foundation and you will be able to build and grow from there. So oh, I literally just stopped and looked at the clock and it said tu tu tu tu. So I'm going to have to look at what that means. Love that for me. Let me know how this landed. Let me know how you like the new tile. I would love Love, love, love, love to hear from you. Honestly, like I want to hear from this podcast community. I really do. I want to know what's landing. I want to know what what conversations you want more of what kind of topics you're fucking loving. What kind of guests do you want? We are putting such an intention into the podcast this year. And it is like there are some things coming. I'll just say that. So please let me know how you're finding it. Let me know what's landing. I would love to hear from you. And I will speak to you here next week. Bye.